BS: Only in Canada?

Subject: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 09:01 PM

Brothers and Sisters to the north, this is a sad day for me. I have recently learned some things about Canada that have me deeply troubled.

Canada, home of Dudly Do-right and Ranger Gord. The land of the forthright and brave protectors of correct spelling and perfect grammar. The last bastion of the polite. Defender of all things honest and good. The country I think of as my second home, my ice hut away from home, if you will, has been foisting lies upon its unsuspecting citizens.

Yes, you recoil in horror at the thought, as I did myself, but it's true.

What lies you ask? I'm embarrassed to tell you, but the only way to dispel darkness is to shed some light upon it.

I have learned that for generations, innocent and unsuspecting Canadian citizens have been indoctrinated with the flagrantly untrue tale that Red Rose tea is "Only available in Canada... pity".

And if that's not bad enough, I have also learned that Canada's "World's Biggest Book Store" is, according to my inside source's inside source (ahem... VP Bob), not the world's biggest book store, but in fact the world's third biggest book store.

I'm sorry to have to be the one to break this terrible news to those of you across the border whom I have grown to know and love, almost as family. But there it is.

And now it's time to make a stand! Take up your pens and your righteous indignation and write this wrong (er... right this wrong). Let these shameful liars know you will not stand for such moral turpitude one moment longer! We depend on you Canada. The world depends on you. Don't let us down.

(So how about that dual citizenship? Can I have it, please? Awww... c'mon ...pretty please?)

Carol

p.s. flattop made me do it.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 11:10 PM

Miscreants! Swine!

How dare they besmirch the name of Dudley Do-right, et al.

I am bereft!

khandu

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 11:27 PM

I am utterly bereft........but I've been able to buy Red Rose Tea in Wy. US for years.........my big question is:

Does Atikoken have pollution yet?

(and the Maple Leafs beat the Senators!!yea!!)

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 13 Apr 01 - 11:51 PM

Pushing my buttons, eh Sorcha?

I believe Ontario Hydro may have built a coal fired generator in Atikoken. The area around there is still very clean. If you look at any map of North American pollution, west of Thunder Bay comes out ahead. they have localized sources of polution, I'm sure. One guy, Robbie D., told me that he threw up and passed out at times when he was working in a plywood mill in Atikoken. The vapours from the glue did it. Strange isn't it, you live in a prisine area and work in a mill that makes you sick?

Both of the iron ore mines in Atikoken are closed, Steep Rock and Caland (sp?). A guy was raising salmon in the hole left from the Steep Rock open pit.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 12:02 AM

Strange, I never realized that Cape Cod was in Canada...I grew up there with Red Rose Tea.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 12:11 AM

Yes, Sinsull or someone mentioned having Red Rose tea in the states and that it was quite dreadful. Canadian red Rose tea is good quality.

The company's taste testers must have channeled the quality leaves to Canada where we have British tradition of enjoying tea rather than that vile coffee crap. Red Rose probably sent the tea that tasted queer to the states where folks have ruined their taste drinking coffee. Pity! That must have been what they meant. Pity!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: JedMarum
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 01:41 AM

... and now we see that they play damn good hockey in Dallas, of all places; Dallas!!! What is the world coming to?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: kendall
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 06:31 AM

As long as Budweiser can claim to be the best beer, anything goes.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Willie-O
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 07:34 AM

...as long as Budweiser can claim to be beer at all, all advertising is suspect.

Fleaaahhhhh! I woulda quit drinking a lot sooner had that been the only choice available. Like cold used dishwater. Unless served warm...(heave).

I have no opinion on the the Red Rose scandal at all, having ruined my taste buds with coffee at an early age.

Psssst! What about Resdan? Do you have that too and they were lying to us about it being not sold in the States? (Of course, if it was, no doubt you rubes got the inferior-quality Resdan.)

There's nothing real pristine about any part of Northern Ontario that you can see from the highway...

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:38 AM

King Cole Orange Pekoe - that's tea. Don't know what the geographical distribution is, but it's blended and packaged in Sussex, New Brunswick and it's what I cut my taste buds on. I thought they made Red Rose from roses. And that Tetley Tea with them little elves doing that dance to that tune...arrrggghh !!! My best buddy's wife ( a Newf ) has a fancy tea container that plays that tune when you open the lid..... I bring my own tea bags.

CarolC also said.... And if that's not bad enough, I have also learned that Canada's "World's Biggest Book Store".... darlin, I would assume that when they built it, it was the biggest. So, I would imagine you are referring to s sign on the front of the building claiming to be the biggest ? In that case, I could understand, because I would also assume that it's a big sign and they haven't gotten around to changing it yet... that's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:42 AM

Forgot to mention re the Bud beer. Perhaps you've never had a Canadian Bud brewed by LaBatts ? I would agree with you on the Yankee Bud, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:01 AM

Hi!

You never know, they might be refering to a Canadian only version of Red Rose - after all, as gnu pointed out, the Bud is sold here is brewed here.

As for the World's Biggest Bookstore, maybe it's like the World Series in Baseball, or, if not a newspaper, started by Mr. or Ms. World?

Not that I believe either of the above 2 explanations is true - more likely to be some conspiracy theory explanation.

Rana

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:14 AM

Well the (allegedly) Worlds biggest book store has (did in 1986) a stupendous selection of Pentel pencils all colours sizes and retacting sheaths.
Why should I drool?
well since you ask - It was a battered old Pentl 0.5 with replacement cap and clip, washers to keep it clutching (blah blah) that wrote my early songs, yes even the first and dearest one.
I even wrote a poem to it.
So it isn't the biggest bookstore. But are they referring to floor space or sales or just range of titles, or shelf space? or associated acutriments?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,Bardford
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:39 AM

Jumping deftly to the defense of my home on native land, I submit the following:

World's Largest Easter Egg - Vegreville Alberta
World's Largest Hockey Stick - Duncan, B.C.
World's Largest Truck - Sparwood, B.C.
World's Largest Coin Operated Cuckoo Clock - Kimberley B.C.

That's just for starters.
Cheers, Bardford

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: kendall
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:44 AM

You forgot the worlds largest ice sheet

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 03:57 PM

Canada is doing quite well if that's the only moral turpitude that can be raised about our fair neighbor to the North. Documentation is sketchy at best about coffee destroying taste buds and by the way, a hundred years ago the major culinary complaint by British visitors about the United States was that we didn't know how to brew coffee. Charles Dickens once stated that the Syracuse House (which is no longer in existance) in Syracuse, New York was the worst hotel he ever stayed in. Bet they didn't rent rooms by the hour. We do get Red Rose down here but I agree about the budweiser. Almost enough to make you give up drinking. I like Guinness Stout myself but I am a sick individual. Kindest reguards, Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 04:42 PM

Hmm. They lied about the book store? Perhaps they lied about the "largest shopping mall in the world," too? Could our Mall of America (Bloomington, Minnesota) REALLY be the largest retail monstrosity on Earth? Dammit, Canada.

---Lepus Rex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,w-o
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 05:29 PM

I have tried the Bud in the USA and in Canada. Only when it was free though. It's about equally disgusting. No nationalist slant here. Although I do think Canadian Bud is worse than Labatt 50, a redneck beer which is fading from view. Unless American exports (and Legion Halls) are keeping it going.

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 07:39 PM

Yes, it has taken me years to come to terms with this, but Canadian advertisers sometimes lie!!! You can get Red Rose Tea outside of Canada! I've been sleepless just thinking about it...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:48 PM

gnu! TEA BAGS! TEA BAGS! You actually admit to using TEA BAGS? Come to Victoria, the North American capital of Tea. My gawd, the Empress Hotel here still serves high tea! We have more tea balls per capita than jolly old England, I'm sure.

Myself, I prefer coffee.......

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:54 PM

Sorry to hear that you prefer coffee, Metchosin, but I'm relieved to hear that you're surrounded by folks with the balls to drink tea.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:00 PM

well, if I have to drink tea I prefer it loose, how else would I be able to tell if I was going to meet a tall dark stranger?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:04 PM

Sorry, I always forget to stick the ROTFLMAO stuff in flattop

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:19 PM

Before gnu gets too much heat, I should admit that I was defending Red Rose bags.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:28 PM

you mean to say you don't have balls either flattop?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:32 PM

Not like they do in B.C. I think I have one ball.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Peg
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:36 PM

True enough, Budweiser is not good beer.

Nor is Wonder "Bread" bread...and Velveeta is not really cheese.

And I would hesitate to call what McDonald's puts in its burgers "meat."

But people buy the stuff. And the lowest common denominator in food seesm as popular as the same in music, books, television and movies...

I am a proud snob when it comes to beer and food!

I did used to like Molson Golden when I was younger...

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:42 PM

Ah, you have Golden taste Peg.

Processed cheese became the rage after the big war when folks were proud of American manufacturing. The secret ingredient was water. It was whipped into regular cheese to make American's proud. I expect Wonder bread had more wonder back then when people were tired of homemade bread.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:08 PM

I knew an old bag named Rose and I tell ya', SHE had some balls!!! Stole my shopping cart coming out of the Piggly Wiggly and both bottles of Red Rocket. She did leave me the ginger snaps though.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:14 PM

jeesus Spaw!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:17 PM

Spaw, do you have a filter on these threads that only finds the naughty bits?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:22 PM

I think the filter is in my head Mets.........sorry.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:38 PM

Good trick Metchosin. We take it into the gutter and then give Spaw shit for joining us. Perhaps you need to have Spaw out for high tea at The Empress Hotel. Let him air out in the warm Pacific breezes.

Some Roses are only available in Cincinnati. Pity!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: hesperis
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:47 PM

"You are what you eat" and what comes out the other end proves it. (McGill portapotties are only in Canada, eh?)

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:57 PM

oh heck, that was mock protest, I was just wondering how he hones in on it so quickly though? Somehow never pictured him as a tea drinker, but come to think of it, he'd be perfect to liven up a boring tea party in the Empress. And flattop, some of the breezes don't blow too pretty out this way, even without Spaws help*BG*

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:04 PM

hesperis, out on the westcoast, no McGills either, they go by the name of Big John.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:04 PM

hesperis, clean up your act. Not so graphic please.

You could use Spaw as a cover until you get that sewage treatment plant, Metchosin.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:10 PM

Nah, you can get away with a lot of offensive things here, even Spaw. You can just blame the stench on pulp mills and the sound on foghorns.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:30 PM

Truth be told, I was inspired early in my life after travelling through Sudbury where the only foliage left are the gray plastic flowers in the cemetery. What a garden spot that is!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:38 PM

High tea in Sudbury?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:40 PM

ya mean you can just turn your back and bark a log at 40 paces. Jeez you'd be real useful here in a pulp mill too.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:43 PM

OOoohhhhhhh.... !!!

She got you Spaw!!!

Good one Metchosin!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:45 PM

I can see it Mets...........Because its not like High Tea in Sudbury.........its more like a High Colonic.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:46 PM

Too asinine for old farts…

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:51 PM

And there ain't one ass in nine like mine.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:54 PM

oops1 I meant debark a tree, wonder where the filter in my mind was?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 07:26 AM

Tea balls ? High tea ? We don't have tea balls or high tea or anything like that up Kent County. When we spend a week or so as far back as you can drag a small travel trailer with a large 4WD - and I mean DRAG, with skid plates and all - the only high tea is tea made with Alfred Lamb's amber rum. Now, if you're talkin real tea, here's the recipe , Metchosin.... get a bucket and some wipes ready.

First man up in the morning opens the windows to "un-Spaw" the trailer. There's just something about the previous night's consumption of beans, brown bread with butter & molasses, and black rum & coke that brings men a common bond, especially in a five man, sixteen foot travel trailer. Then the old campfire teapot, that hasn't seen a campfire for about twenty years, gets filled to the bottom of the spout with spring/brook/bog (listed in order of preference) water and five King Cole Orange Pekoe BAGS go in. Yes, go in. Then, yes, then, it goes on the propane and is brought to a violent boil. No need for loose tea for readings because, when I said violent, I meant turn it into holy water - boil the hell out of it - so that there's lots of leaves for reading.

Of course, this method for brewing tea must be kept secret from those who believe in all those silly rituals and such. My uncle, who Metchosin would get a long with fabulously, praised my Kent County tea to no end until he saw me make it one day - then it was unacceptable and he took over tea duty.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Mr Red
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 08:44 AM

If it's Red Rose
it must be available in Lancashire
Red Mist? er...... available anywhere

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 11:45 AM

whoowee gnu, doesnt sound like tea to me, sounds more like bushman's coffee, you know, the kind we stir out here with our thumb.

Someone once wondered why I alway left a quarter inch of liquid in my cup when I finished it, I'd never noticed before and couldn't figure out the habit either for the longest time, until I remembered I had been raised on bushman's and it was a habitual response from my youth, to avoid a mouthful of grounds.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 03:47 PM

flattop - As your friend and colleague, I must point out that the plural of the word "American" does not contain an apostrophe. Furthermore, it is not cricket to browbeat Hesperis for "graphic" language when you yourself used the word "shit" in one of your own postings on this same thread. Indeed, sir, I fear that your inane ramblings may have the effect of damaging your reputation, such as it is, on this forum. :-)

And...you think you have one ball??? You think so???? My friend, there are doctors in this town, trained medical personnel, who can assist you in such matters...see one soon is my advice. Posthaste. With utmost dispatch.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Peter T.
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 04:03 PM

The World's Biggest Bookstore was only big in terms of acreage. Foyle's in London has a much larger selection but stacked atop each other. WBB stopped selling pens a long time ago. It has also changed owners, twice at least. In terms of quality selection, Foyle's is still the one to beat, I guess; Dillon's is also pretty good. For second hand books there are a number of contenders in different parts of the world. The 7-8 block radius around the British Museum has the greatest variety/selection/you name it of all kinds in the English speaking world. Certainly the largest selection of book lunatics.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 05:59 PM

Are you sure you're not a Canadian Spaw?

Carol C you have to remember that in order to qualify for dual citizenship in Canada, you have to be obsessed with jokes about bodily functions (the picture beside the john was a very good start). It was stated in a publication I read once, that Canada has more jokes and slang terms regarding the subject than any other country. Maybe it had something to do with the excruciating long walks to the biffy on icy cold nights or early mornings.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 06:14 PM

That's a gross slander, Metchosin! Canadians are not obsessed with bodily functions. They are obsessed with beer, hockey, and avoiding hard work if at all possible. They are also obsessed with shopping and hanging around at the mall.

They like getting things for free, too. A friend of mine was tired of trying get rid of all the dead leaves last autumn, so he simply collected them in bags and put a sign by the side of the road saying "Free Leaves". By the next day they were gone! I find it is possible to get rid of almost anything right quick around here if you attach the word "free" to it, and make sure it's on display in a public place.

I am reasonably confident that if we were to put Spaw out on the sidewalk in Orillia with a "Free" sign hung around his neck, someone would take him off our hands within hours...

There are some pretty gullible people around here, eh?

:-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 06:40 PM

Would a friend and colleague point out tiny typos Little Hawk?

Yes I shouldn't browbeat hesperis. I take it back. She's a fine woman. It's just that I'm ill this weekend and a six word phrase with an active verb that made me visualize before I understood what she was saying felt gut-wrenching. My 'shit' was pretty innocuous.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Troll
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 06:46 PM

Fer Gawds sake, people. It's CANADA!
I mean, who cares!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 07:20 PM

Speaking of shit, you've got an attitude problem Troll.

I will repost a bit from a songwriting book by Chappel of Chappel music about who cares to help with your bad attitude:

Who Cares

Who cares? The publisher? He hears thousands of songs. What's going to make him care enough about your work to publish it? Is your song commercial enough for him to possibly get it recorded, and thereby, make money for both of you? Does it fit his particular catalog? You wouldn't take a country song to a publishing company that publishes pop or rock, would you?

Who cares? The producer? The entire recording session which your song is on is the producer's personal project. He has to care enough to invest, sometimes thousands of dollars, in recording costs which include musicians, studio, engineer, mix down and final distribution. Therefore he has to feel that your song is hit material and will appeal to the larger portion of the record buying public; he also has to decide whether or not it's the type of material his artist can perform. If he likes your song, he'll have the artist listen to it.

Who cares? The artist? When the artist hears a song, he has to be able to relate to it emotionally so that he can interpret the lyrics and, thereby, care enough to cut it. He, too, is looking for a song which will be a hit and one that he feels will appeal to his fans. If your song was a country ballad, you certainly wouldn't take it to a rock'n'roll artist because he couldn't relate to it and, therefore, wouldn't care about recording it.

Who cares? The record company? They are in business to make money so they promote artists and songs which they believe will sell records. Do they feel that your song is a potential hit which would, therefore, make them care enough to record it and spend the necessary money promoting it?

Who cares? The program director? The disc jockey? ... The disc jockey will care enough about his job to play whatever the program director has scheduled for air play. But it doesn't hurt if he cares enough about your song to say nice things about it on the air for the public to hear, does it?

Who cares? The public? ... What sector will care about it when they hear it? The pop field? The country field? The rock field? And when they hear it on radio, television or at concerts, will they care enough to get in their cars, drive to their local record store, walk in and lay down their hard-earned bucks for a tape cassette, CD or home video?

It all boils down to a well written song. Be very selective of a song title, have a title so original and intriguing that it causes potential listeners to unconsciously say, "I want to hear it."

After the title has caught their attention, you've got to hook them with the song's theme, its lyrics and its music so they care enough to include this song in their own musical collection.

Who cares? The question goes right to the heart of the matter, so always keep it in the forefront of your mind when choosing a concept or theme for your song. It's the bottom line.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 08:07 PM

Wow, Metchosin, thanks for the tip!

Do you think this would help...

Honey Truck

Or this... Luxury Condo His and Her McGills

Or this... Field of Dreams

Or this... Big Sucker

Or this... They even let me sit in one of their trucks!

Or this... Four Pack

Then, of course, there are the pictures of me getting crowned Ms McGill 2001, but I can't show you those yet.

(P.S. troll... I'm surprised at you. You care about Canada don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 08:52 PM

flattop, innocuous! boy are you Canadian! Only a Canadian thinks his own doesn't stink!

Little Hawk, slander? what do you think those young hockey players cut their teeth on! A frozen cow pie or road apple, thats what. Have you ever met a Canadian that didn't publicly announce he had to see a man about a horse or take a whizz or visit the ladies room while drinking beer? and Canadians don't buy things in Malls! They hang out there so they can shoot the shit! Or because it is the only place they can find a public toilet! And avoiding work, why there are thousands out there who could very well be called dog fu.....oh..right..wrong obsession. But I'll forgive your ignorance, you were probably too young to have been subjected to the long walk to the biffy.

But I will agree with you about taking things from the curb, last week some rat bastard stole my garbage cans and they didn't even have free signs on them, and its surprising what crap you can stick in your blue basket and have disappear before the recyclers come by.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 08:57 PM

Oh wow Carol, I'm impressed! Truly you qualify!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 06:55 PM

So I'm in then, am I?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 08:50 PM

I just watched England put on a rugby demonstration for France ( 48 to 19 ) on tape from last week. I noticed a huge Tetley's banner behind the posts. Do Tetley's advertise on English TV with those little elves singing the Tetley Tea song and doing their little dance ? If so, do they sing with English accents.... I know, I know... you English don't have accents, we do.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: hesperis
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 09:21 PM

Carol, we already said that you're in - now we just need to persuade the government that we really NEED another shit-slinging Canadian...

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 16 Apr 01 - 10:03 PM

hesperis, did you say that you need another Canadian who sings like shit? No problem there. I most certainly qualify for that designation.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 02:52 AM

Gnu, I think you will find that the banner actually advertises Tetley's Bitter, a brand of Beer from "Up North", rather than Tetley's Tea.
Of course, I could be wrong. I thought I was, once, but I was mistaken. :o)
Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,Rana
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 08:30 AM

Shoot,

Eddie, you've just ruined the picture I had of the English props wearing bells and ribbons!

Of course you're correct - most likely to be Tetley's - the beer.

Rana

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:53 AM

I've seen little elves dancing an singing when drinking beer, but never tea... regular tea. They have Irish accents and usually appear near the end of kitchen sessions.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,Canuck
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 02:23 PM

Yeah the Geranium Bros. are expanding WestEdmontonMall, which IS bigger than the mall of america. And the moonscape around sudbury, flin flon, and other mills is being cheaply ameliorated with great success, and steadily regreening. And, maybe this is ONLY in Canada, a company is growing pharmaceutical cannabis hydroponically in mined-out shafts below Creighton/Flin Flon.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: mousethief
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 02:26 PM

Well, we have an unconstitutional ban against possession or growing of marijuana down here south of the 48th parallel, yeah that probably is only in Canada.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 02:31 PM

And...ONLY IN CANADA could a pair of witless losers dressed in ratty jeans, cruddy jackets, and toques become an international entertainment phenomenon!

Although, it was in the USA where they initially got such a big response...

Figures. Americans love stupidity-based humour. (Note that I spelled "humour" the Canadian way.)

Nothing has really changed, by the way...except that the toques have vanished and been replaced by those disgusting baseball caps...usually on backwards! Yech!!!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 03:48 PM

Hey Little Hawk...

Some of the NBC affiliates are showing SCTV late at night these days. Do you remember "The Sammy Maudlin Show"?

Geranium Bros... I like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 03:57 PM

Yeah! Sammy Maudlin was great! Do you remember Mayor Tommy Shanks, and the Melonville civic election campaigns? How about Count Floyd? How about Edith Prickley and Libby Wolfson? All that stuff was funnier and more clever than the Doug & Bob skits, but that didn't stop Doug and Bob from overwhelming the rest of the show in the minds of the public. That's irony.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 04:35 PM

Well, think about it, Little Hawk... the rest of the show was Canadians making fun of Americans. Doug & Bob was Canadians making fun of Canadians. Which one do you think Americans are going to go for?

...how could I possibly forget Count Floyd and Edith Prickley?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 05:21 PM

Mousethief said... Well, we have an unconstitutional ban against possession or growing of marijuana down here south of the 48th parallel, yeah that probably is only in Canada.

Yeah, but I thought that growing and possessing was LEGAL in Alaska, no ? ...the land of the free is in Alaska ?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: mousethief
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 05:33 PM

Not that I know of, gnu.

Not that you could get anything to grow in Alaska except mosquitoes....

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Troll
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:38 PM

Flattop,this has taken a couple of days to answer since I have been out of town. It would appear that you were upset by my posting. I meant it to be humor in line with the previous posts in the thread.
It is obvious that you did not find it funny. So much so that you referred to me sa "shit".
While you have a perfect right to place any spin you like on any posting, you do not have the right to call me or anyone on this forum, names. Your "Speaking of shit, you have an attitude problem Troll", was unnecessary, uncalled for, and vulgar in an rather immature fashion. I rather think that the attitude problem is yours.
The essay "Who Cares" was interesting and, with a different preface, I might have enjoyed reading it.
If you wish to, ask Little Hawk about what kind of person I am. He has "known" me for a while.
If my posting offended you, then I must apologize. Apparently you and I find different things humorous.
But don't call me names. It's not nice..

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: mousethief
Date: 17 Apr 01 - 11:47 PM

There is no good pekoe tea in the USA. At least not in these parts. I am "stuck" drinking Darjeeling and such because the pekoes are nasty.

Any help would be gladly appreciated.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:16 AM

Perhaps we need an interpreter, Troll. I took your message to be in jest and in jest tried to say that it was a shitty attitude. Sometimes I miss the mark. Sorry about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Troll
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:17 AM

Check the web, Alex. There should be companies selling teas over the web.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:35 AM

Yes, but if their tea is shit, it's not likely to say that on their website, now is it, Troll?

I need some help from tea drinkers because I hate spending money on something that i try once and throw the rest of the box away.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Troll
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:39 AM

Look for brands you know,Alex. Maybe some companies will have a sampler pack and you can decide that way.
Or you could just drink Liptons.

troll ***BG*** The Memsahib is a Lady Grey fanatic.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:39 AM

How do you brew your tea, Alex?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:46 AM

flattop makes excellent tea. In fact, some of the best tea I've ever had. Of course, I'm a coffee drinker, so I probably don't have any taste buds left...

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:47 AM

Alex you might try Murchie's they are famous here and elsewhere from what I gather.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 01:01 AM

In fact, I would recommend "the the Ceylon Extra Superior from Sri Lanka. A high grade Ceylon with a true 'orange pekoe' cut leaf. You'll want to taste this one", just based upon their superior coffees.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 02:15 AM

Little Hawk!

Floyd Robertson and Earl Camembert just said that Moe Green has been kidnapped by the Lutonian Liberation Front!

They said they don't want him back.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:22 AM

Alex, if my cousin comes home this summer as planned, I will send some King Cole Orange Pekoe back to Seattle with him for you... if I can remember, of course !

I wonder if he can get that through airport Custom's w/o a hassle ? Anyone know ?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:11 AM

"Spaw,

We Canadians secretly hope that nobody from any other country ever finds themselves in Sudbury. We're very embarrased by it. Truly the Armpit of the world. It even makes Hamilton look good.

Speaking of SCTV, who remembers the "Elephant Man" episode. Probably my favourite, although Johnny LaRue's "Polynesiantown" and the Fishin' Musician episode with Wendy O'Williams and the Plasmatics are right up there too.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:33 AM

Earl Camembert? The Vivaldi of the 6 o'clock news? The Pavlova of anchorment? The sexiest guy ever to deliver an on-the-spot report of a derailed ice cream vending bike?

Who can forget Earl Camembert?

Flattop and Carol - Check out the Ye Olde Greasy Spoon thread, and see if you recognize the place...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 10:51 AM

Gnu - You'll have to excuse me, I realise that this thread is really for former colonials, but there has been too much said here about 'little elves' for a Yorkshireman to put up with. Tetley's Tea Folk are loosely based on a caricature of a Northern Person (meaning the North of England, which usually equates to Yorkshire and Lancashire). So they have Northern accents, wear flat 'ats and, of course, know everything there is to know about making tea. (And everything else - you can always tell a Yorkshireman, but you can't tell him much.)

The senior one is called Gaffer (which equates to 'Boss')and is probably voiced by Brian Glover (former wrestler turned actor) who is a standard voice-over used when a Yorkshire accent is required. It was a source of great pride to Yorkshire folk that when the National Theatre put on the Mystery Plays, God was played by Brian Glover in a proper Yorkshire accent. Which just went to confirm everything that Yorkshiremen have known for years!

And as for mistaking our tea for our beer! One's brown and warm and the other is ... oh right, I see now!

I'd be interested to know what accents the Tetley Tea Folk have in Canada and the USA. Are they regionalised? 'Cos then you'd know the Tea Capital of Canada and the USA.

Actually I prefer coffee, and I drink tea with a slice or two of fresh ginger, but don't tell anyone else in Yorkshire, or I'll be drummed out - forced to run the gauntlet of flat 'ats, set upon by whippets and finally publicly stoned with stale meat pies.

Les

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:01 AM

[Sorry thread creep!]After Brian Glover died, who took over the voice of Gaffer? I wondered if it might be Barrie Rutter?
Incidentally,Brian was a teacher for years and a former professional wrestler with a French persona as something like The Mighty Leon as his mat name. Remember his bullying PE teacher in "Kes"? I suffered a few like that!
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:27 AM

Hi Rog! I haven't seen those adverts for a bit. Maybe it's just that when the adverts come on I go and make a cup of tea!

I hope that it is Barrie. He's from Hull as well! I used to know he very slightly many years ago.

Cheers, Les

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 12:04 PM

Pot method:

1. preheat pot with sub-boiling water. 2. put in tea (bags if bags, loose if loose). 3. pour in boiling water 4. steep 5. remove bags if bags 6. pour (strain if loose) 7. add milk and sugar 8. drink

Usually it's bags and usually it's a cup at a time, though, since I scarcely have the leisure to sit down to a whole pot of tea and drink it properly, more's the pity.

Lipton's is kinda iffy. I've had some that was very bitter, and some that was extremely smooth even when steeped a LONG time. Usually I get (American) Red Rose, since it can be brewed strongest (of the pekoe teas I've tried) without getting bitter.

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 01:06 PM

SUGAR !!!!! AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH !!!! SACRILEGE.

As for the accents of the elves on the Cdn TV adverts for Tetley's, I'll have to pay attention next time I see one. Usually, I switch the channel when they come on. Makes me think of football cleats - for stepping on the aggrivating little blighters.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: mousethief
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 01:12 PM

Okay, gnu, we'd managed to keep religion out of this thread so far, and YOU had to go and spoil it for everyone. :-)

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 01:37 PM

I'm not aware of any characters of any sort being connected to Tetly Tea adds in the U.S. Actually, I don't remember any Tetly Tea adds of any sort. They must be/have been pretty unmemorable.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,Canuck
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 02:23 PM

carol - glad u liked geranium - u know the bros started out as carpet importers - gnu - THAT'S why g*d invented the mute button on yr remote

smiles

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 05:19 PM

Yeah, but if I close me eyes, I might miss some footy when the commercial's over.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 05:24 PM

> Usually I get (American) Red Rose, since it can be brewed strongest (of the pekoe teas I've tried) without getting bitter.

> Alex

If your (American) Red Rose comes in paper bags like the (Canadian) Red Rose, try punching a half dozen pinholes in both sides of the bags with a needle before brewing. You should get more flavour.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 05:39 PM

A tea drinkers' thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:31 PM

gnu, not legal any more; not since 1995 or so. Doesn't slow people down too much, though.

Mousethief, you are forgetting the monster vegetables Alaska grows in the Matanuska valley. Even here in Southeast, our delphiniums and foxglove grow to easily 7 or 8 feet tall- heck, even our dandelion and tulips grow more than knee high.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Kelticgrasshopper
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:01 PM

Only in Canada can you get PEI potatos, and KING COLE TEA !! And really good BEER !!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Kelticgrasshopper
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:04 PM

AND how could I forget SHREDDIES !!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Troll
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:41 PM

And all we have in Florida is sunshine.(And expat Canadians)

troll ***BG***

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 10:03 PM

For years I drank nothing but Red Rose tea. I have a whole herd of ceramic animals that I've managed to keep over the years (you get a ceramic animal in the 100 bag boxes of Red Rose). One day I was in an oriental food store and thought I'd try some of their tea. There were several types and being a bit confused I asked the lady running the shop what most people prefered. I wanted some green tea and she suggested Chun Mee ~ and Oolong for the regular tea. They are both excellent teas. I was about to buy some in the tea bags and she said that bulk tea is much better because its hand picked with select leaves while the stuff they put in the bags is ground up, new and old leaves and sometimes parts of stems dirt and even insects (of course they would add some protein to the brew).

I still drink Red Rose bucause its handy, best of the tea I can get locally and besides I want to keep my herd of ceramic animals up to date. One day at the mall they were having a flea market and one person was selling the little critters for $3.00 apiece which was more than I paid for a box of 100 that included the animal.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 10:31 PM

I remember those ceramic animals! I haven't seen one of those since I was a kid. I had forgotten all about them until you mentioned them, Cap't Bob.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 08:48 AM

Ebbie... thanks. Guess that means no King Cole for you, Alex, which, BTW has used gauze bags for years but has recently begun to market, in a slick lookin' new box, "Old Style" tea in paper bags... eeeecccchhhh !

Speaking of illegal tea, I mind the time my brother spent a half hour with an OPP ( Ontario Provincial Police ) on the side of the highway explaining all the summer savoury he was bringing back to Ont from his trip "down home". The cop could smell it as soon as the window was opened. He was explaing the use of SS in stew and gave him the recipe for partridge stew. Of course, the cop got even more suspicious when my bro explained that Maritimers don't make stew without turnip, which, as I understand, most Uppity Canadians only feed to cattle. Only after the man checked bro's story out with the dispatch was he allowed to continue, sans one bag of SS.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 03:32 PM

Carry on here...

http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=33387