BS: Only in Canada?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 08:07 PM

Wow, Metchosin, thanks for the tip!

Do you think this would help...

Honey Truck

Or this... Luxury Condo His and Her McGills

Or this... Field of Dreams

Or this... Big Sucker

Or this... They even let me sit in one of their trucks!

Or this... Four Pack

Then, of course, there are the pictures of me getting crowned Ms McGill 2001, but I can't show you those yet.

(P.S. troll... I'm surprised at you. You care about Canada don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 07:20 PM

Speaking of shit, you've got an attitude problem Troll.

I will repost a bit from a songwriting book by Chappel of Chappel music about who cares to help with your bad attitude:

Who Cares

Who cares? The publisher? He hears thousands of songs. What's going to make him care enough about your work to publish it? Is your song commercial enough for him to possibly get it recorded, and thereby, make money for both of you? Does it fit his particular catalog? You wouldn't take a country song to a publishing company that publishes pop or rock, would you?

Who cares? The producer? The entire recording session which your song is on is the producer's personal project. He has to care enough to invest, sometimes thousands of dollars, in recording costs which include musicians, studio, engineer, mix down and final distribution. Therefore he has to feel that your song is hit material and will appeal to the larger portion of the record buying public; he also has to decide whether or not it's the type of material his artist can perform. If he likes your song, he'll have the artist listen to it.

Who cares? The artist? When the artist hears a song, he has to be able to relate to it emotionally so that he can interpret the lyrics and, thereby, care enough to cut it. He, too, is looking for a song which will be a hit and one that he feels will appeal to his fans. If your song was a country ballad, you certainly wouldn't take it to a rock'n'roll artist because he couldn't relate to it and, therefore, wouldn't care about recording it.

Who cares? The record company? They are in business to make money so they promote artists and songs which they believe will sell records. Do they feel that your song is a potential hit which would, therefore, make them care enough to record it and spend the necessary money promoting it?

Who cares? The program director? The disc jockey? ... The disc jockey will care enough about his job to play whatever the program director has scheduled for air play. But it doesn't hurt if he cares enough about your song to say nice things about it on the air for the public to hear, does it?

Who cares? The public? ... What sector will care about it when they hear it? The pop field? The country field? The rock field? And when they hear it on radio, television or at concerts, will they care enough to get in their cars, drive to their local record store, walk in and lay down their hard-earned bucks for a tape cassette, CD or home video?

It all boils down to a well written song. Be very selective of a song title, have a title so original and intriguing that it causes potential listeners to unconsciously say, "I want to hear it."

After the title has caught their attention, you've got to hook them with the song's theme, its lyrics and its music so they care enough to include this song in their own musical collection.

Who cares? The question goes right to the heart of the matter, so always keep it in the forefront of your mind when choosing a concept or theme for your song. It's the bottom line.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Troll
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 06:46 PM

Fer Gawds sake, people. It's CANADA!
I mean, who cares!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 06:40 PM

Would a friend and colleague point out tiny typos Little Hawk?

Yes I shouldn't browbeat hesperis. I take it back. She's a fine woman. It's just that I'm ill this weekend and a six word phrase with an active verb that made me visualize before I understood what she was saying felt gut-wrenching. My 'shit' was pretty innocuous.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 06:14 PM

That's a gross slander, Metchosin! Canadians are not obsessed with bodily functions. They are obsessed with beer, hockey, and avoiding hard work if at all possible. They are also obsessed with shopping and hanging around at the mall.

They like getting things for free, too. A friend of mine was tired of trying get rid of all the dead leaves last autumn, so he simply collected them in bags and put a sign by the side of the road saying "Free Leaves". By the next day they were gone! I find it is possible to get rid of almost anything right quick around here if you attach the word "free" to it, and make sure it's on display in a public place.

I am reasonably confident that if we were to put Spaw out on the sidewalk in Orillia with a "Free" sign hung around his neck, someone would take him off our hands within hours...

There are some pretty gullible people around here, eh?

:-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 05:59 PM

Are you sure you're not a Canadian Spaw?

Carol C you have to remember that in order to qualify for dual citizenship in Canada, you have to be obsessed with jokes about bodily functions (the picture beside the john was a very good start). It was stated in a publication I read once, that Canada has more jokes and slang terms regarding the subject than any other country. Maybe it had something to do with the excruciating long walks to the biffy on icy cold nights or early mornings.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Peter T.
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 04:03 PM

The World's Biggest Bookstore was only big in terms of acreage. Foyle's in London has a much larger selection but stacked atop each other. WBB stopped selling pens a long time ago. It has also changed owners, twice at least. In terms of quality selection, Foyle's is still the one to beat, I guess; Dillon's is also pretty good. For second hand books there are a number of contenders in different parts of the world. The 7-8 block radius around the British Museum has the greatest variety/selection/you name it of all kinds in the English speaking world. Certainly the largest selection of book lunatics.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 03:47 PM

flattop - As your friend and colleague, I must point out that the plural of the word "American" does not contain an apostrophe. Furthermore, it is not cricket to browbeat Hesperis for "graphic" language when you yourself used the word "shit" in one of your own postings on this same thread. Indeed, sir, I fear that your inane ramblings may have the effect of damaging your reputation, such as it is, on this forum. :-)

And...you think you have one ball??? You think so???? My friend, there are doctors in this town, trained medical personnel, who can assist you in such matters...see one soon is my advice. Posthaste. With utmost dispatch.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 11:45 AM

whoowee gnu, doesnt sound like tea to me, sounds more like bushman's coffee, you know, the kind we stir out here with our thumb.

Someone once wondered why I alway left a quarter inch of liquid in my cup when I finished it, I'd never noticed before and couldn't figure out the habit either for the longest time, until I remembered I had been raised on bushman's and it was a habitual response from my youth, to avoid a mouthful of grounds.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Mr Red
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 08:44 AM

If it's Red Rose
it must be available in Lancashire
Red Mist? er...... available anywhere

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 15 Apr 01 - 07:26 AM

Tea balls ? High tea ? We don't have tea balls or high tea or anything like that up Kent County. When we spend a week or so as far back as you can drag a small travel trailer with a large 4WD - and I mean DRAG, with skid plates and all - the only high tea is tea made with Alfred Lamb's amber rum. Now, if you're talkin real tea, here's the recipe , Metchosin.... get a bucket and some wipes ready.

First man up in the morning opens the windows to "un-Spaw" the trailer. There's just something about the previous night's consumption of beans, brown bread with butter & molasses, and black rum & coke that brings men a common bond, especially in a five man, sixteen foot travel trailer. Then the old campfire teapot, that hasn't seen a campfire for about twenty years, gets filled to the bottom of the spout with spring/brook/bog (listed in order of preference) water and five King Cole Orange Pekoe BAGS go in. Yes, go in. Then, yes, then, it goes on the propane and is brought to a violent boil. No need for loose tea for readings because, when I said violent, I meant turn it into holy water - boil the hell out of it - so that there's lots of leaves for reading.

Of course, this method for brewing tea must be kept secret from those who believe in all those silly rituals and such. My uncle, who Metchosin would get a long with fabulously, praised my Kent County tea to no end until he saw me make it one day - then it was unacceptable and he took over tea duty.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:54 PM

oops1 I meant debark a tree, wonder where the filter in my mind was?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:51 PM

And there ain't one ass in nine like mine.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:46 PM

Too asinine for old farts…

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:45 PM

I can see it Mets...........Because its not like High Tea in Sudbury.........its more like a High Colonic.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:43 PM

OOoohhhhhhh.... !!!

She got you Spaw!!!

Good one Metchosin!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:40 PM

ya mean you can just turn your back and bark a log at 40 paces. Jeez you'd be real useful here in a pulp mill too.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:38 PM

High tea in Sudbury?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:30 PM

Truth be told, I was inspired early in my life after travelling through Sudbury where the only foliage left are the gray plastic flowers in the cemetery. What a garden spot that is!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:10 PM

Nah, you can get away with a lot of offensive things here, even Spaw. You can just blame the stench on pulp mills and the sound on foghorns.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:04 PM

hesperis, clean up your act. Not so graphic please.

You could use Spaw as a cover until you get that sewage treatment plant, Metchosin.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 11:04 PM

hesperis, out on the westcoast, no McGills either, they go by the name of Big John.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:57 PM

oh heck, that was mock protest, I was just wondering how he hones in on it so quickly though? Somehow never pictured him as a tea drinker, but come to think of it, he'd be perfect to liven up a boring tea party in the Empress. And flattop, some of the breezes don't blow too pretty out this way, even without Spaws help*BG*

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: hesperis
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:47 PM

"You are what you eat" and what comes out the other end proves it. (McGill portapotties are only in Canada, eh?)

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:38 PM

Good trick Metchosin. We take it into the gutter and then give Spaw shit for joining us. Perhaps you need to have Spaw out for high tea at The Empress Hotel. Let him air out in the warm Pacific breezes.

Some Roses are only available in Cincinnati. Pity!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:22 PM

I think the filter is in my head Mets.........sorry.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:17 PM

Spaw, do you have a filter on these threads that only finds the naughty bits?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:14 PM

jeesus Spaw!

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:08 PM

I knew an old bag named Rose and I tell ya', SHE had some balls!!! Stole my shopping cart coming out of the Piggly Wiggly and both bottles of Red Rocket. She did leave me the ginger snaps though.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:42 PM

Ah, you have Golden taste Peg.

Processed cheese became the rage after the big war when folks were proud of American manufacturing. The secret ingredient was water. It was whipped into regular cheese to make American's proud. I expect Wonder bread had more wonder back then when people were tired of homemade bread.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Peg
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:36 PM

True enough, Budweiser is not good beer.

Nor is Wonder "Bread" bread...and Velveeta is not really cheese.

And I would hesitate to call what McDonald's puts in its burgers "meat."

But people buy the stuff. And the lowest common denominator in food seesm as popular as the same in music, books, television and movies...

I am a proud snob when it comes to beer and food!

I did used to like Molson Golden when I was younger...

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:32 PM

Not like they do in B.C. I think I have one ball.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:28 PM

you mean to say you don't have balls either flattop?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:19 PM

Before gnu gets too much heat, I should admit that I was defending Red Rose bags.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:04 PM

Sorry, I always forget to stick the ROTFLMAO stuff in flattop

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:00 PM

well, if I have to drink tea I prefer it loose, how else would I be able to tell if I was going to meet a tall dark stranger?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: flattop
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:54 PM

Sorry to hear that you prefer coffee, Metchosin, but I'm relieved to hear that you're surrounded by folks with the balls to drink tea.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Metchosin
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:48 PM

gnu! TEA BAGS! TEA BAGS! You actually admit to using TEA BAGS? Come to Victoria, the North American capital of Tea. My gawd, the Empress Hotel here still serves high tea! We have more tea balls per capita than jolly old England, I'm sure.

Myself, I prefer coffee.......

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 07:39 PM

Yes, it has taken me years to come to terms with this, but Canadian advertisers sometimes lie!!! You can get Red Rose Tea outside of Canada! I've been sleepless just thinking about it...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,w-o
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 05:29 PM

I have tried the Bud in the USA and in Canada. Only when it was free though. It's about equally disgusting. No nationalist slant here. Although I do think Canadian Bud is worse than Labatt 50, a redneck beer which is fading from view. Unless American exports (and Legion Halls) are keeping it going.

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 04:42 PM

Hmm. They lied about the book store? Perhaps they lied about the "largest shopping mall in the world," too? Could our Mall of America (Bloomington, Minnesota) REALLY be the largest retail monstrosity on Earth? Dammit, Canada.

---Lepus Rex

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 03:57 PM

Canada is doing quite well if that's the only moral turpitude that can be raised about our fair neighbor to the North. Documentation is sketchy at best about coffee destroying taste buds and by the way, a hundred years ago the major culinary complaint by British visitors about the United States was that we didn't know how to brew coffee. Charles Dickens once stated that the Syracuse House (which is no longer in existance) in Syracuse, New York was the worst hotel he ever stayed in. Bet they didn't rent rooms by the hour. We do get Red Rose down here but I agree about the budweiser. Almost enough to make you give up drinking. I like Guinness Stout myself but I am a sick individual. Kindest reguards, Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: kendall
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:44 AM

You forgot the worlds largest ice sheet

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST,Bardford
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:39 AM

Jumping deftly to the defense of my home on native land, I submit the following:

World's Largest Easter Egg - Vegreville Alberta
World's Largest Hockey Stick - Duncan, B.C.
World's Largest Truck - Sparwood, B.C.
World's Largest Coin Operated Cuckoo Clock - Kimberley B.C.

That's just for starters.
Cheers, Bardford

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 10:14 AM

Well the (allegedly) Worlds biggest book store has (did in 1986) a stupendous selection of Pentel pencils all colours sizes and retacting sheaths.
Why should I drool?
well since you ask - It was a battered old Pentl 0.5 with replacement cap and clip, washers to keep it clutching (blah blah) that wrote my early songs, yes even the first and dearest one.
I even wrote a poem to it.
So it isn't the biggest bookstore. But are they referring to floor space or sales or just range of titles, or shelf space? or associated acutriments?

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 09:01 AM

Hi!

You never know, they might be refering to a Canadian only version of Red Rose - after all, as gnu pointed out, the Bud is sold here is brewed here.

As for the World's Biggest Bookstore, maybe it's like the World Series in Baseball, or, if not a newspaper, started by Mr. or Ms. World?

Not that I believe either of the above 2 explanations is true - more likely to be some conspiracy theory explanation.

Rana

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:42 AM

Forgot to mention re the Bud beer. Perhaps you've never had a Canadian Bud brewed by LaBatts ? I would agree with you on the Yankee Bud, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: gnu
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 08:38 AM

King Cole Orange Pekoe - that's tea. Don't know what the geographical distribution is, but it's blended and packaged in Sussex, New Brunswick and it's what I cut my taste buds on. I thought they made Red Rose from roses. And that Tetley Tea with them little elves doing that dance to that tune...arrrggghh !!! My best buddy's wife ( a Newf ) has a fancy tea container that plays that tune when you open the lid..... I bring my own tea bags.

CarolC also said.... And if that's not bad enough, I have also learned that Canada's "World's Biggest Book Store".... darlin, I would assume that when they built it, it was the biggest. So, I would imagine you are referring to s sign on the front of the building claiming to be the biggest ? In that case, I could understand, because I would also assume that it's a big sign and they haven't gotten around to changing it yet... that's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: Willie-O
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 07:34 AM

...as long as Budweiser can claim to be beer at all, all advertising is suspect.

Fleaaahhhhh! I woulda quit drinking a lot sooner had that been the only choice available. Like cold used dishwater. Unless served warm...(heave).

I have no opinion on the the Red Rose scandal at all, having ruined my taste buds with coffee at an early age.

Psssst! What about Resdan? Do you have that too and they were lying to us about it being not sold in the States? (Of course, if it was, no doubt you rubes got the inferior-quality Resdan.)

There's nothing real pristine about any part of Northern Ontario that you can see from the highway...

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Only in Canada?
From: kendall
Date: 14 Apr 01 - 06:31 AM

As long as Budweiser can claim to be the best beer, anything goes.