BS: Should women be chained to the stove?

Subject: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 06:52 PM

Today a co-worker was chomping away at some chips and salsa and he remarked, "I'd better eat as much of this as I can now because it's going to have to be my dinner." I asked him why that was as it was only 3:30 in the afternoon. He said, "Because my girlfriend won't be getting home until late tonight." Being of the female persuasion myself I started to fume internally and asked him, "What does your girlfriend have to do with you eating dinner?" He laughed and said, "I'm a lousy cook, I'll admit it!" I then suggested he could at least do "fast food". He just laughed and walked off. So I ask you, is that the way men feel it should be?

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Amergin
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:12 PM

Not the smart ones....I used to joke like that with my gramma until I tired of feeling the rolling pin crashing into my poor skull....

Actually, I like to cook and I never had a problem doing so when last I was in a relationship. Though I hate to cook if I am the only one eating.....

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Mick Lowe
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:39 PM

I have always cooked (well since I first got married way back in the foggy mists of the 20th century), mainly because I was good at it and enjoyed it and my wife didn't and wasn't. Now since I am a single parent I have no choice in the matter, likewise the ironing (a task I despise which I guess everyone else does)... I often despair at those dinosaurs of the male species that think their wives/partners/mothers should be the ones to do all the "homely" stuff, worse still those that think that women are some sort of second class citizens.. that really riles me..

Especially when the likes of Germaine Greer have to write books pointing out the errors of their ways.. which also irritates me.. I see each human being as an individual and don't put any tags to them, be it gender, class or creed and therefore sometimes become peeved when others try to class me, merely because of my sex, along with those male morons who do believe in the outdated axiom that women should be chained to the stove..

I realise the opportunity has now passed Karen, but perhaps your response to his pathetic pleading should have been to sing/recite to him the classic lyrics...

Stop your bitchin'
Get into the kitchen
And rattle, and rattle
Those pots and pans

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:41 PM

women should NOT be chained to the stove. They'd get in the way when I was trying to cook.

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:46 PM

Well, I guess barefoot and pregnant's out of the question too, then. *BG*

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:51 PM

Seamus- I've been known to go barefoot, but some things are properly regarded as women's work.

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:52 PM

A well trained specimen will cook for her master without the need of chains.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Amergin
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:54 PM

OMG, Jon, you had better go running and hiding after that comment....ROFLMAO!!@!~!

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:55 PM

Seamus, my lad, you're playing with fire.......!!!(grin)I wish Mr. would cook more......he can do eggs and bacon. Now, Bubba Luke is a really good cook; creative and motivated. You never know what will happen when he cooks, except that it will be "different" and "muy picante"!!

Luke combines things that would never occur to me.....but it's good, and that is the point. I love to watch him cook, but if he cooks, I have to clean up, and oh dear....

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: kendall
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 07:58 PM

Karen, that moron deserves to get high cholesterol. I dont know what the average man is like in this age, but, I'll bet 99% of the men on this forum dont belong in the same category with that sap!

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Burke
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:03 PM

What I don't understand is why he couldn't have his chips & salsa for dinner that night. Can't he even open a jar & a bag for himself?

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:07 PM

Karen, please don't tell him to get fast food. I'm struggling with a cooking/weight gain problem here and really haven't found the answer.

Hubby and I have a wonderful friend, an elderly lady, who cooks a big meal for us everyday at noon. Since I don't get hungry at night, I DON'T COOK ANYMORE! Hubby, on the other hand wants to eat a big meal at noon and another at night. I refuse to feel guilty about not cooking even though not a day goes by that several people don't make *unkind* remarks about my not cooking. Hubby eats fast food (would never take the time to cook) and is gaining weight like crazy. What's a girl to do?

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: MMario
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:16 PM

I'm with dick - chained to the stove would get in my way - and if I let her cook *shudder* I would have to eat it!

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:20 PM

He might just possibly have been taking a rise out of you, Karen...

Cooking is one of the few girlie things that blokes often tend to see as quite macho. Unlike washing up or making beds. Sewing machines have also often tended to be male specialities, especially in the days when they were thye only bit of hi-tech machinery in te place, before electric drills (and Dremmels) came along...

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:23 PM

Thanks for the advice guys. Since we were at work I didn't feel I could "smack him upside the head" as I mentally pictured myself doing. I guess I was really wondering because my husband is pretty much the same. I'm expected to cook for the four of us when I get home from work. If I'm too tired he'll at least fix a meal for himself and the kids but NEVER for me! I guess that really irks me (are those violins I hear the the background?). Oh well, my NEXT spouse will be picked from the Mudcat group ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: ddw
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 08:23 PM

Naw, women shouldn't be chained to the stove — it chips the enamal.

Seriously, my reaction to that goof would have been are you really that stupid, or just lazy? I used to cook for myself all the time and I loved to cook for company. Now I don't get the chance much because the Yorkshire Tornado considers the kitchen HER SPACE and I dare not get in the way. I get to do the cleanup, but the cooking is HERS.

I don't complain too much because, despite considering myself an adequate cook, she is a chef. Knows spices and herbs and combinations I've never even thought of. So she enjoys the creative side of the food thing and I do the drudge work. Works for me.

david

Subject: hell no
From: cait
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:03 PM

'you can tell a man really loves you when he lets you use his power tools'...gawd, i love my dremel!

my hubs is the cook in the family and i let him. i do desserts, soups, tacos and wash the dishes.

he's french, whaddami gone do? answer: eat...

my mother has to get home by mealtimes or she just knows her husband won't eat, or he'll make a sandwich, that's the older generation's thinking.

karen, that's really harsh that he won't cook for you when you're tired...there's a message there. he's taking over 'your job' as a hardship case but you don't deserve to eat. sheez.

*caiti*

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: alison
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:03 PM

Jon Freeman!!!!!! enough said..... lol

men can cook if they are trained to do it........lol...

my dad couldn't open a tin of beans unaided, because he had never had to... his idea of cooking was turning the cooker on below pots of food while the women were off at church.....

my 7 year old son (and my 5 year old daughter) can both cook simple lunches..... by the time they're teenagers I might be able to get my dinner made for me......*grin*

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Bert
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:08 PM

The BED, not the STOVE, they should be chained to the BED:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: alison
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:10 PM

well can we use silk scarves rather than chains???.. they hurt my ankles

lol

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Troll
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:13 PM

The kitchen belongs to me, Period. I do the cooking, wash-up, shopping, (although The Memsahib goes along sometimes), and meal planning. I vacuum, do laundry and pay the bills.
I also take a nap whenever I like or read or play music.
What does The Memsahib do?
She goes to work every day, she runs two bands and plays in another. She handles ALL the bookings and rehersals and makes up the set lists and finds new material. Thanks to her, the Klezmer band has two CDs to sell at concerts. She is the glue that binds it all together.
I drive the truck and deal with sound gear.
This started before I retired and it works. I don't mess with things on her desk. She doesn't use my good knives to cut cardboard.
And she stays the hell out of my kitchen.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Bert
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:25 PM

Silk scarves are just fine Alison.

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: alison
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:33 PM

lol

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: sophocleese
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 09:41 PM

Not unless you liked charred buns....

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:21 PM

My problem was getting the wife out of the kitchen, she was a lousy cook. My three boys were always pestering me to do the cooking. In the end I told her she had; the only kitchen in the world where the flies come home to die. ( probably make a good song title that )And no, we're not still married.

JG / F.M.E.

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Apr 01 - 11:57 PM

troll, sounds like my house, except for the role reversal...I still Jane, He still Tarzan, lol!

bert........don't make me come out there.......!!

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: mousethief
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 12:15 AM

It's rather up to the couple to decide how to divvy up the household labor. If the woman wants to do all the cooking (and can) and the man wants her to, then it's easy. Or if the man wants to do all the cooking and that's okay with the woman, that's cool too. It's when neither really want to cook or both really want to cook that they might have to...

Hold on to your hats, ladies and gents...

DISCUSS IT WITH EACH OTHER And come to an arrangement they both can live with.

If this guy was a lousy cook, as he admitted, it requires a further question (viz., does your girlfriend MIND doing all the cooking?) to determine if he's an MCP.

If she doesn't mind, or indeed positively relishes in cooking, as some people do (believe it or not!) then it's not a case of an MCP and his enslaved woman, but rather of a wise division of labor (at least vis-a-vis cooking).

How quick we are to judge!

That said, I enjoy doing most of the cooking and do a fairly good job of it most of the time (I got my worst experimentation out of the way whilst in college!).

But my wife does the bills cos it's a job I can't stand (and she doesn't hate nearly as much as I do).

It's all a give-and-take, ain't it?

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Matt_R
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 12:17 AM

I'm the best male kitchen-cleaner this side of Raleigh!! And damn proud of it too!

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: mousethief
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 12:40 AM

Matt, I'm sure your pride is justifiable, but what is a male kitchen?

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 12:43 AM

Being serious this time, I agree with Mousthief.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Jimmy C
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 12:47 AM

I do a lot of the cooking and I like it. All my children can cook and my wife can as well. It's just a matter of who gets home first, starts the dinner etc. Whoever cooks does not clean up so sometimes there is a competition to do the cooking as no one likes to clear things away. The guy sounds like a useless twit, probably for him chips and salsa is a treat. But I bet he takes over when there is a barbeque, with a beer in one hand and a hamburger lifter in the other.

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: ddw
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 12:48 AM

Well, gee, Jon — if you're gonna be serious, what's the point?

lol

david

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: M.Ted
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 01:04 AM

It's good to see that so many of you still cook--I know a great number who don't, ordering out, or buying pre-cooked stuff, or eating out. As Italians, we both cook, and fight over who is the best(as in, "You are! No, You are!!!). In more than half a century of life on the planet, I have found few things that are as satisfying as putting a hot meal on the table and watching as people dig in. It really scares me to see so many people have given up such a simple and fundamental thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 01:04 AM

Well I didn't expect him to sneak that other post in before I hit submit!

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: DougR
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 01:09 AM

Nope. Men should learn to cook, do laundry, housework, and all the things necessary to operate a household. One never knows when one will be called on to do just that. Besides, men should share housework with their wives/companions. Frankly, I wasn't raised that way, it was something I learned during many years of married life.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Mad Maudlin
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 02:34 AM

What's happened when the man is sitting on the sofa?

The chain was too long. *BG*

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 03:00 AM

I guess thats the way it should be for some people... some men feel that way, and they often marry women who also feel that way... what's wrong with that??

Just like some people get married and some people don't.. or some people breed and some people don't... it's a personal choice to live your life the way you want to...

What IS wrong is the holy indignation at someone who dares to not think/live/act the way YOU do!

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 03:31 AM

Well, my new-found love cooked dinner for me the first time tonight - turkey franks and mixed vegetables. I think I'll do the cooking from now on, although I may have to work up some vegetarian recipes since she's of that persuasion. She still works for a living and I'm retired - and I'm a pretty darn good cook. She's a chiropractor and give great massages, so I ain't complaining.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Sarah the flute
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 03:37 AM

What's wrong with the microwave ?

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 04:28 AM

I used to do all the cooking, then King gave up working for a while to look after Hammerite & the house - so he took over the cooking. We had a few dodgy hard potatoes before he actually realised that with an ancient cooker you can't go by time alone. But he soon got it down to a fine art & is a damned nifty cook. However - last time I tried to cook what used to be my favourite mince thingy I failed miserably. We had to give it to the dog.
So I reckon he should be chained to the stove. And then if I could just get him to let me wrap his naked body in clingfilm..........sigh....

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: BlueJay
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:21 AM

My wife is figuratively "chained to the stove", bless her heart. What with me working and sleeping at oddball times, and with our kids, (and usually some of the neighbor's kids as well), it seems she is always cooking something. She also packs my meal to take to work, as well as the kid's lunches to take to school. No wonder she's so preoccupied with grocery store lists.

This thread has reminded me that I really do enjoy cooking, even though I haven't actually done so for quite awhile. I should try and help more.

Since we have been married, (ten years), I have always had to work mostly night shifts or be on call 24/7. She has put up with a lot dealing with that. But within the next few weeks, I will be quitting my job as a prison nurse, and working days at a private music industry company. This will allow me the flexibility to play more music, play more gigs, and see my kids more. It may also allow me to sleep in the same bed , at the same time as my wife does, (an alleged benefit of marriage).

It may also allow me proper timing to try a few meals in the kitchen! Thanks, BlueJay

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Gervase
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:23 AM

During the week I live in town with a male flatmate - and if you want to see histrionics in the kitchen, just get two prima-donna males cooking together!
I love cooking - as M Ted says, there's little more satisfying than seeing people tuck into something you've prepared. And, as the cook, you get to decide how it should taste, what seasoning to use, and to taste it all the way through.
I always thought I'd like to marry a woman who could cook well, but I don't think I could bear it now. We'd be fighting over the range like a pair of bickering toddlers - "No, no no - you don't want to do it like that...!"
The mother of my children and I used to squabble over things like the best way to cook candied sweet potatoes. She'd say: "There are a thousand ways of doing it, but mine's the right one!" And I, of course, would disagree.
Quite amazing, really, how tough the human skull can be under a sustained battering from a cast-iron casserole! Still, I've now got used to having an odd-shaped head. And I get to cook all the time. Nah, nah na-nah na!

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:31 AM

Mad Maudlin said
"What's happened when the man is sitting on the sofa?

The chain was too long."
why would anyone put a chain on a sofa????

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:01 AM

Herself allows me to cook the breakfast and sometimes to put things in the oven or prep the veg but otherwise she only lets me wash up, lay the table, vacuum, clean the kitchen and bathrooms,load and unload the washer and drier (though she doesn't always trust me to sort the laundry), do all the heavy or unskilled gardening, pick the veg...but she enjoys cooking.
When she has to go away I revert to my bachelor days and fend for myself (without take-aways) but I don't enjoy cooking to the extent that I'd want to deprive her of her culinary joys.
We both work full time and have busy lives so the "housewife/househusband" role doesn't apply, we've always shared the chores. She will insist on ironing, however, though she hates it. My philosophy is, nothing needs ironing.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: gnu
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:11 AM

Sharing the work, no matter how you divy it up, is the only way to get along. But arguing about how the other's work should be done, as Gervase explained, is just as bad as not sharing. I use to have to plan my work around my ex's schedule so that all she saw was the results. If she saw me doing something incorrectly - 99% of time, there was a fight, even though the results were acceptable.

I know a couple who share the work this way.... gosh, I don't know if I should say this... here goes. She does the woman's work and he does the rest. Pretty odd concept, eh ? Neither of them take a breath from 0530 to 2300h every day. Both have jobs. The only thing they do together is the gardening. It's a couple of acres of veggies and fruit, so it's too big for one person with a full time job. Other than that, they do NOT work together. He only cooks when she is away. She only stokes the wood furnace when he is away. I have never known a happier couple. I think their secret is simple - either they are BOTH working at something or they are BOTH relaxing.... or they don't know what the other is really doing !

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Les from Hull
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:23 AM

I don't agree with chaining WOMEN to THE stove. Surely it would be much more effective to chain ONE woman to EACH stove! But then, how would they get the rest of their work done?

On a personal note, if we're at my place I cook, if we're at Maggie's place she cooks. It's not my fault we spend more time at her place. Honest. And I did put a shelf up and mended her computer last time. So it's probably a good idea to do each jobs that you are good at or like doing. Then you can share or take it in turns at doing the jobs you both hate doing.

Les

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: kendall
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 07:06 AM

If you can read, you can cook.

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Mad Maudlin
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 08:06 AM

Crazy Eddie: Oops, I meant to add: The chain *from the kitchen* is toolong. (Sorry, I must be going senile :-) Of course, it was only a joke...in case someone wants to flame me...

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Gervase
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 08:09 AM

Ah, but it should be a man that flames you, just to make sure it's done properly. You wouldn't want to be under-flamed, would you?
:^)
Er, I'll get me coat...

Subject: RE: BS: Should women be chained to the stove?
From: Firecat
Date: 19 Apr 01 - 08:16 AM

NO!!! That is a sexist idea that has been around since... I don't when! As far as I'm concerned, housework should be equally divided between the sexes. When I get married (which won't be for a few years yet) I'm gonna make my husband do half the housework and I'll do the rest. That's definitely gonna happen if my current bloke gets his own way! He's been saying that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me! HELP!!!