'Jesus Saves' parodies

Subject: "Jesus Saves" parodies
From: Nonie
Date: 24 Nov 97 - 08:54 PM

So, how many variant verses are there to the "Jesus Saves" silliness (to the tune of "The Battlehymn of the Republic"?

I've only run into a few:

Jesus puts his money in the Chase Manhattan Bank (x3)
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

Jesus walks on water; he's the lifeguard at our pool (x3)
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

And I have a vague memory of one about clipping coupons, and another about catching a ball in the bottom of the ninth. Any others?

Subject: RE:
From: Frank in the swamps
Date: 25 Nov 97 - 02:42 AM

"It's the bottom of the ninth inning and Jesus' turn to bat...

Jesus saves, etc.......

Subject: RE:
From: Nonie Rider
Date: 25 Nov 97 - 12:32 PM

Naw, version I heard scans better; I just lose the pieces because I don't know baseball: "Jesus (murfle murfle) in the bottom of the ninth."

Subject: RE:
From: Max
Date: 25 Nov 97 - 12:34 PM

I saw once: "Jesus Saves" on a bathroom wall.

Below it someone wrote: "And Gretsky scores on the rebound"

Subject: RE:
From: Earl
Date: 25 Nov 97 - 01:51 PM

Jesus saves but Moses invests.

Subject: RE:
From: Frank Phillips
Date: 25 Nov 97 - 07:52 PM

Those of us whose currency is the loonie (aka the Hudson Bay peso) have been known to sing:

Jesus puts his money in the Bank of Montreal.

Frank

Subject: RE: "Jesus Saves" parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Apr 15 - 06:45 PM

Jesus saved
done deal

Subject: RE: "Jesus Saves" parodies
From: Mark Ross
Date: 28 Apr 15 - 07:05 PM

Jesus loves me this I know,
Because the bible tells me so,
If you're poor or still have riches,
He still loves us sons o; bitches.
Am I Jesus little lamb?
Yes, you're goddamn right I am.

Subject: RE: "Jesus Saves" parodies
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Apr 15 - 09:41 PM

Where is the "like" button when you're looking for it?
This is fun.

Jesus, by the way, puts his money in the First Wisconsin Bank.
I learned that in high school, so it must be true...


-Joe-

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: GUEST,#
Date: 29 Apr 15 - 02:27 AM

Jesus saves, Moses invests, but the Mongol hoards.

Heard that one in Montreal in the late 1960s or early 1970s.

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: GUEST,#
Date: 29 Apr 15 - 02:38 AM

I don't know what to make of this. Arnold S and Jesus C.

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: RealOregonWoman
Date: 29 Apr 15 - 12:21 PM

Since this thread has devolved to include graffiti, here's one from my childhood, back when Reward Points, etc were expressed as stamps. The stamps were collected into books which, when completely full, could be exchanged for merchandise.

Jesus Saves Green Stamps

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 29 Apr 15 - 01:04 PM

Another graffito I recall from the far-off days of my youth, based on another well-known C19 hymn -- see Wiki! --

Jesus loves me,
That I know.
Good old Jesus:
Jolly good show!

≈M≈

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Apr 15 - 01:08 PM

I recall a cartoon of a guy in a large Mexican hat resting on a hammock.
The caption below was "Jesus doesen't care any more"

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Vic Smith
Date: 30 Apr 15 - 09:52 AM

Jesus Saves parodies
Where does he keep them? On his hard drive? In a booklet? On his iPhone? I think we should be told.

Joe Offer -
Where is the "like" button when you're looking for it?

Just for you, Joe.... 

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: GUEST,gerry227
Date: 30 Apr 15 - 02:26 PM

Jesus saves,
Budda invests,
But only Moses gets a dividend!

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Fossil
Date: 01 May 15 - 08:48 AM

And there's the good old British Army one, to the well-known hymn tune:-

"There is a green hill, far away
without a city wall

Where the dear Lord was crucified
Who died to save us all....

(two, three...)

FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FE-E-LOOW
AND SO SAY ALL OF US!"

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Cool Beans
Date: 01 May 15 - 08:56 AM

There's a 17-year gap between the first round of posts (1997)and the current round (2015). That's got to be a record. Or a cassette tape. Or an mp3.

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Vic Smith
Date: 01 May 15 - 09:11 AM

There's a 17-year gap between the first round of posts (1997) and the current round (2015). That's got to be a record.

1997 and 2015 - This is a popular thread every time there is a General Election in the UK where the outcome is unclear but there is a possibility of a Labour prime minister and voters are going around in a state of confusion with some of them saying, "Jesus, save us!"

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Jim McLean
Date: 01 May 15 - 10:42 AM

A line from a Dominic Behan song, I don't remember it all ... "At the bottom of his bank book Jesus signs his Christian name ..Jesus saves etc."

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Vic Smith
Date: 01 May 15 - 11:14 AM

I wrote:-
"....General Election in the UK...."

Oops! sorry about mentioning that subject. I hope it doesn't mean that it gets the thread closed as 2 BS threads have been.

Funnily enough, a 2012 thread - Groan...another US Presidential election - remains open.

Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: Joe Offer
Date: 01 May 15 - 08:25 PM

As Vic Smith says,



Subject: RE: 'Jesus Saves' parodies
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 02 May 15 - 03:12 AM

Roses are red,
Violets are bluish,
If it wasn't for Jesus
We'd all be Jewish!