Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Kim C
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:22 PM

Kin I jes get a lil whiskey please?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:14 PM

To those who doubted my sanity and/or sobriety, the following is a synopsis of the "Hephaestus Plague". Highly recommend it to all.

PAGE-THE HEPHAESTUS PLAGUE- - This 191 page hard cover is a First Edition that was written by Thomas Page and published by Putnam in 1973. "I consider myself a relatively seasoned veteran of horror in its various literary and cinematic forms-but THE HEPHAESTUS PLAGUE made my skin crawl and pulses race as never before. To add that it is as well written as it is plotted seems de trop, but it's that rare science-fiction work that fascinates the intelligence while enthralling the imagination. it deals with flesh-and-blood creatures-even as you and I-and therein lies the delicious terror." -JUDITH CRIST When an earthquake rips open a quiet Georgia peach farm, thousands of heavy black beetles slowly emerge onto the surface of the earth, terrifying the local inhabitants with their ability to emit an intense flame. The experts are called in, but they remain baffled and helpless as the fire beetles, hitchhiking in tobacco and peach trucks, begin to sweep northward, leaving behind scorched fields and charred buildings. Only James Lang Parmiter, professor of entomology at a small Southern college, realizes that these are not beetles at all, but a form of life never before seen. Working day after day in almost total solitude and silence, this brilliant, strange man, described by a colleague as a "sinister Gandhi," discovers that these creatures were alive at the time of the dinosaur and are much older, more enduring, more intelligent than any other living creature and, thus, far more difficult to wipe out. Parmiter, reluctant to destroy the creatures, finds himself identifying with them; they have buried themselves deep within the earth even as he has sealed himself off in his lab. Desiring more and more to communicate with them, Parmiter arrives at a chilling decision: He will not only study the insects, but will breed them. Even as the East Coast reels in terror from the growing onslaughts of these creatures, Parmiter is overjoyed to learn that his Hephaestus parmitera have finally adjusted to the earth's surface and the females of the species have become pregnant.

Now who is going to be the first to express support and buy me a drink - NOT the swill sloshing around in the basement...THE BASEMENT!!! Caitrin. Forget the Jello Pit. Just mix a drum or two of lime jello with the beer in the basement. Then instead of pumping the beer out, we can shovel out the jello. too bad. It would have made for an interesting shanty sing while we manned the pumps. "Heave Away" could take on a whole new meaning.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:14 PM

I hate to think what "dawn our thongs" means.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 02:13 PM

Flatulence !! That's fightin dirty !! When I said you could make up the rules and I'd break em, I never dreamed you'd stoop that low. I may as well get the yard out now. Anyone got a clothespin for my nose ?... so I can get the yard down, not for Spaw's flatulence. He's the winner by default. I'm not THAT stupid.

Besides, I don't think anyone is ready for me in a thong. A thingthong, maybe, but not a thong.

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 01:29 PM

My friends and I at the MudCat Tavern,
Havin' us a jello fight
When all at once a guest came in
and started flingin' shite
What's up cried we, have ya had a bad day?
Did your g-string break or what?
g-string be damned, the guest he cried,
Bert's credit card's run out!

(to chorus)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Micca
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 01:21 PM

" There was Spaw, upside down
pushing turkey turds on the floor
stew,stew, the truck men cried
as they came knocking on the door,
Dont let them in ,its all fouled up
somebody shouted , "Sword for hire"
and we all got very politely pissed
while the stew warmed on the fire
"

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 01:20 PM

Caitrin, NO ONE can be that desparate for a job......well except for Skiff.......................

Okay gnu........We do this "Mudcat Style" and take it to the Jello Pit!!! We fill it with lime jello.....this time we make it with Turkey Turd.......Say Caitrin, could you take care of that??.........Then we dawn our thongs and go at each other with rubber tiples!!!........Anything goes at that point including flatulence!!!!..........Cleigh O'Possum will ref the match. I'll see you back here when the jello solidifies!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:31 PM

Fozziewig???

I used to work in his old rubber chicken factory!!

;-)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Caitrin
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:28 PM

Hey, 'Spaw, is the NYCFTTS looking for summer workers?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 12:19 PM

SUUUUUUUUSAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Your stew's here!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:59 AM

Got a tanker of Thai Coffee and 10 cases of frozen beef stew here! Where ya want it? Need a signature tho' - says on the paperwork to see...uhmmm....

I *think* it says Fezziwig. Or possibly Fozziewig...

can you read that? ya shure?

Wizziewigg!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:53 AM

Spaw! Come quick! Come quick! The earthquake cracked open the giant tank of Turkey Turd! The whole basement is awash in cheap beer!

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:45 AM

Did somebody call? Look at the state of this place! No wonder we have to keep moving to a new Tavern!
I don't have all day to do this , you know, I've got old jokes to take out for an airing and I've got to keep the NYCFTTS running for 'Spaw (CEO & principal shareholder).
Grumble grumble, mutter mutter.
I think I'll suck it all into a tanker and send it to Patrish for her garden.
Should improve the rhubarb no end.(Chorus from the usual suspects:"I prefer custard on mine")
RtS (Roger the shitshifter)

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:23 AM

Good idea Guest. This place is a mess. When Roger is finished with the bedpan detail have him vacuum the place and mop up the Turkey Turds...or is it vacuum the Turkey turds and mop up the place?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:21 AM

Maybe it could be a tag team match. MickMc vs SpAmergin. Who's going to ref ? Four men, a tank of Turkey Turd Beer and only one washroom. How's that for disaster, Sins ?

Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: GUEST,cookie without a cookie
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:10 AM

continuum in a vacuum?

Subject: Mudcat Tavern (More of the Different)
From: Peter T.
Date: 26 Apr 01 - 11:07 AM

Continuing the discontinuities of time and space.
yours, Peter T.