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NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES

Troll 29 Apr 01 - 06:08 PM
Owlkat 29 Apr 01 - 09:01 PM
Melani 29 Apr 01 - 09:55 PM
GUEST,LaHerona 29 Apr 01 - 09:55 PM
Ebbie 30 Apr 01 - 02:26 AM
katlaughing 30 Apr 01 - 02:49 AM
English Jon 30 Apr 01 - 07:49 AM
Little Neophyte 30 Apr 01 - 07:54 AM
GUEST 30 Apr 01 - 08:21 AM
Little Neophyte 30 Apr 01 - 08:33 AM
katlaughing 30 Apr 01 - 10:34 AM
Wavestar 30 Apr 01 - 12:00 PM
mousethief 30 Apr 01 - 12:31 PM
CRANKY YANKEE 30 Apr 01 - 06:19 PM
Pseudolus 30 Apr 01 - 06:42 PM
Uncle_DaveO 30 Apr 01 - 07:01 PM
Melani 30 Apr 01 - 07:07 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 01 - 07:09 PM
mousethief 30 Apr 01 - 07:11 PM
Bill D 30 Apr 01 - 08:04 PM
Bill D 30 Apr 01 - 08:08 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 01 - 08:20 PM
GUEST,Well it is not supposed to be serious! 30 Apr 01 - 08:30 PM
GUEST,Sailor DAn 30 Apr 01 - 09:40 PM
Ebbie 30 Apr 01 - 10:53 PM
Ferrara 30 Apr 01 - 11:53 PM
mousethief 01 May 01 - 12:14 AM
Shula 01 May 01 - 12:14 AM
Bert 01 May 01 - 12:46 AM
Ebbie 01 May 01 - 02:05 AM
GUEST,kluthr 01 May 01 - 02:20 AM
CRANKY YANKEE 01 May 01 - 03:28 AM
English Jon 01 May 01 - 03:37 AM
CarolC 01 May 01 - 04:14 AM
Boab 01 May 01 - 04:34 AM
mousethief 01 May 01 - 11:07 AM
Gary T 01 May 01 - 11:20 AM
mousethief 01 May 01 - 11:22 AM
Gary T 01 May 01 - 11:27 AM
Peter T. 01 May 01 - 11:44 AM
Ferrara 01 May 01 - 12:21 PM
RichM 01 May 01 - 01:20 PM
GUEST,Pat Buchanan 02 May 01 - 03:40 PM
GUEST 02 May 01 - 11:21 PM
GUEST,I WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR DAMN COOKIE 03 May 01 - 11:37 PM
CRANKY YANKEE 04 May 01 - 04:04 AM
CRANKY YANKEE 04 May 01 - 04:38 AM
GUEST 04 May 01 - 03:27 PM
Bluebelle 04 May 01 - 10:24 PM
CarolC 04 May 01 - 11:07 PM
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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Troll
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 06:08 PM

Yarmulke ( ya-ma-ka) or kipot (kee-pa). Both are aceptable terms. A Jewish vampire is impossible. It's not Kosher.
Bernard, Jews do tell jokes on themselves; as do Scots, Blacks and Poles. But what is acceptable from an insider, is resented from an outsider.
Your Jewish friends may tell you jokes and may accept and laugh at your jokes, but if you told them to someone from the same congregation who didn't know you, you might get a very different reaction.
Alexi, I've heard the same "joke" in Milwaukee about the Polish and/or Italian neighborhoods. I wasn't amused then either.
Am I Jewish?
No. I am not.
However, my wife and son are, I play in a Klezmer band and am active in the local Jewish community. Call me a Blue-eyed Cousin if you like.
I was born in the mountains of North Carolina, and grew up listening to tourists making jokes about "dumb hillbillies", so yeah, I tend to be a little sensitive about any kind of ethnic joke.
I'm truly sorry you won't be reading my "childish drivel". You might have learned something.

troll


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Owlkat
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 09:01 PM

Hi, You can call it whatever you want, but getting a cheap laugh on the basis of your own shallow and limited stereotypical perceptions of someone else's ethnic background is pathetic, and ignorant.

I have heard and read more than my share of jokes ragging on Jews, Blondes, East Indians, Newfies, Poles, Blacks, Gays, Lesbians, Irish, Scots, Italians, Women, and Men,and they all share the same basic attitude of pointing why people not like YOU or YOUR GROUP are inferior.

I don't really enjoy pissing on your parade, but this really a load of crap. You can pretend to be clever and witty. Some of your best friends may be Jews. If they are, they should find new friends. Some of the entries may be from Jews. If this is so, I'd suggest that if you really want to kick someone's ass around the room, then make it your own, please.

I have read some amazingly insightful entries on this site, and it is sad to see it debased with things like this. If you do find these jokes amusing, aren't there other places on the web where you can find like-minded people with whom to share racist humour? Surely we can do better than this at Mudcat, can't we?
Owl.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Melani
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 09:55 PM

I don't think Cranky Yankee had any bad intentions in starting this thread, but I agree that it could go wrong bigtime. Some ethinic jokes are funny and some aren't; I suppose people should just use their own judgement with regard to good taste and possible offense. Mousethief, it's obvious the guest who posted with the parody of your name is trying to make you look bad. There are many jerks in the world--I try to ignore them, and counsel everyone else to do the same.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST,LaHerona
Date: 29 Apr 01 - 09:55 PM

These three old guys sitting on the veranda in Miami talking about their pasts: One says, "I had a great rag business in Manhattan and there was this electrical fire, burnt the place to a hollow shell. I just threw up my sands and retired, moved down here to grow old in the sun." The second man says "I know what you mean. My fine deli Brooklyn, big grease fire in the kitchen one day while I was taking my mother to the doctor. I moved the whol family down here. Couldn't handle the memory." "Yes, it's amazing how losing your business can affedt you. My investment firm had a flood and it ruined every thing, computers, records, the whole mess." Guys 1 and 2 look at each other and then at their new friend and ask, "How do you start a flood?"


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 02:26 AM

I'm at a party- John Carter comes waltzing by and says, Hey, 'Ebbie', do you know how to keep a n**** from drowning? I say, I wouldn't say it that way, but No. He says, Good.

Later I waltz by him and I say, Hey, John, Do you know how to keep a Carter from drowning? He says, No. I say, Good. He says, Ebbie, that's sick.

Where does anyone get the notion that non-Jews can 'share' "Non-irritating Jewish Jokes"? Irritating is not the word- 'galling' is. It has nothing to do with the need to lighten up- I thought we were past this kind of crap.

Elva Bontrager


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 02:49 AM

I, too, was enjoying the beginnings of this thread, at least some of them, but became uncomfortable when the stereotypes were drug out. It's the same as my son-in-law and his friends calling each other n*****, without taking offense, where it would be totally inappropriate for me or anyone not of their colour to do the same.

Jody, I am sorry, but I think your response was probably a little over the top. Surely there was a less offensive phrase you could have used to let on you knew what he'd called you?

This has nothing to do with the dreaded PC, it's just good manners.

kat


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: English Jon
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 07:49 AM

I won't tell the one about die royte shicksa then.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 07:54 AM

Well I do apologize if I offended anyone. You see I can be a total JAP (Jewish American Princess) at times. And as for the colitis joke, my sister has colitis. She has had two resections of her colon and if she has another flare-up she might need a bag. My sister and I can laugh about jokes like I posted.
But if I offended anyone who has colitis I am sorry. Or if I offended any Jewish mother who is grooming her daughter to be a pure bred JAP, I do apologize. I don't apologize to the Jewish Princesses though, they should know better than to behave like that.

:)

Bonnie


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:21 AM

Dear Bonnie,

Q: What is a JAP (Jewish American Princess)? Where did the term come from?

A: The term is not at all a flattering one. Born in the wake of the Jewish flight to suburbia after WWII and the nouveau riche lifestyle adopted by some up and comers, the children of these Jewish suburbanites who had made it out of the ghettoes of the cities were often indulged beyond belief, even called princess, a la father knows best. These children of the fities and onward were brilliantly and caustically described by Phillip Roth in Goodbye Columbus. The name JAP meaning Jewish American Princess caught on soon after. The rest is unfortunate history.

Truth be told, the indulgence of children and the spoiling of them is not new and is not confined to Jews. It is a parent problem that even the book of Proverbs in the Bible comments on, and even the book of Samuel and Kings has a word or two about.

Today, the JAP syndrome is a discredited myth and its adherents are just repeating noxious anti-female and anti-Jewish ( even self-hating , if they are themselves Jewish) stereotypes. Shame on them.

Rabbi Richard Polirer

http://www.jewish.com/askarabbi/askarabbi/askr4448.htm


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:33 AM

Well Guest, I can understand your posting and I do apologize if I offended you or anyone else.

Bonnie


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: katlaughing
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:34 AM

Bonnie, forget the guilt thing, remember?**BG**


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Wavestar
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 12:00 PM

Okay, I'm not Jewish, and don't want to get very deep into any of this- But I do remember that I used to have a really good laugh reading the humour section of the big book of Jewish myths, folktales and fables that my mother had- mostly stories of Hershel Ostropol, Jewish beggars, Yiddish culture, Chelm, and the like. I didn't think any of them were irritating or offensive. That's the sort of thing I expected to find here - they fit in with Cranky yankee's stories, not all of which I understand, which reflect a deep and fascinating culture and mindset that I'm part of but am as curious about as any other. I fear, Bernard, that I do find some of your jokes irritating - not offensive, but irrtating, because they are shallow and steroetypical, told to you by Jews or not. I wasn't going to complain, though - if they make other people laugh, the world needs more laughter.

I'm sorry I don't have the book to share stories from it with you all. They really are very funny.

-J


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 12:31 PM

I always wish I could hear what jokes are told about white persons behind our backs. I'm sure some of them are hilarious. I promise not to be offended!

Alex
The Real Mousethief
accept no substitutes


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 06:19 PM

But, Kat/Katlaughing, they are the only two Yiddish phrases I know that fit the situation at all. I only know two more, the one in the Veampire-football game jokes and the one coming up.

This joke was my Grandfather's (Isasac Katzberg's) favorite joke.

Two guys are telling jokes, One starts to say, "There were these two Jews waiting at...........". The other interrupts him, "Wait a minute", he says,"Why do they have to be Jewish?"
"Well, because......"
"Never mind all that, can't you tell the joke using some other group?", asks the opther.
"No", replies the first "Because.......".
"Well, try!", says the second.
"O.K., There were two Englishmen waiting for a streetcar, One turns to the other and says,

'I say there old bean, A VU KUPF MENDAUKH EIN TROLLEYCAR?'"...........
(when is the next trolleycar?)

Now, all of you "noodnicks" and "kvetch" where do ANY of my jokes involve exclusively Jewish stereotypes?

The vampire joke would be funny if the vampire was Japanese and said something like, "Sore-wa Nahn desuka?"(what is that) but it wouldn't be quite as funny. (I DO know how to spell Japanese, in "Romanji")

The one about the Jewish couple in New Orleans would be funny if they were Amish or Mennonite, except that people from Pennsylvania aren't "Yankees" and Rhode Islanders are.

The football game one would be funny also if the teams were Notre Dame and Carlisle and Notre Dame's center spoke "Navaho". But I don't know the Navaho phrase for "It wouldn't help". And Carlisle also traditionally has a very strong Football team. (Jim Thorpe went to Carlisle).
So where do any of my jokes involve negative stereotypes? Differences, yes, unsavory or negative differences?, No.
The Joke that MarkS told about the "Nihonjin" in Tokyo saying saying, "Gee, you don't look Jewish". is hillarious, and not at all degrading or insulting.

So there..............


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Pseudolus
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 06:42 PM

This is either Irish or Jewish, take your pick....

An Irishman is struck down by a car on a miserable rainy night. The driver hops out of the car and into the rain to aid the irishman. The driver, knowing the man could die at any moment says, "Is there anything I can do or anyone I can call???" The irishman says, "Oh yes, would ye be nice enough to call me a rabbi?". Thinking the irishman was being affected by the accidnet and the weather the driver asks, "Are ya sure it's a Rabbi you want?" Absolutely is the reply. So the Rabbi shows up and asks the Irishman, "So my son, are you Jewish?" The Irishman shakes his head no. "So why", asks the Rabbi, "did you call on a Rabbi??" To which the Irishman replied, "Oh Rabbi, you don't think I'd be makin the good Father come out on a night like this, do ya?"

And one more.....

A man walks into a confessional in a Catholic Church and says, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married with 4 children, 8 grandchildren, and 11 great-grandchildren. I've been faithful all my life but last night I strayed. I spent the night with two gorgeous 20 year olds and we made mad passionate love all night." The priest said, "Well my son, how long has it been since your last confession?". the man says, "I've never been to confession Father, I'm Jewish". The priest is a little confused and asks, "Well my son, why are you telling me this?" The man replies, "Are you kidding me father, I'm telling EVERYBODY!!!!

Frank


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 07:01 PM

The synagoge and the Catholic church stood just across the street from each other. The two congregations had fine relations, except there was a good deal of rivalry. If the parish planted a hedge around the church, the Jewish community painted the synagogue, so the parish put a new roof on the church, so.... (and on and on).

It was the priest's birthday. The parish chipped together to buy the priest a new Buick to go around and visit the poor and sick. So it wouldn't be lost on their friends across the street, they had a ceremony on the front lawn, and christened the car with holy water.

Indeed, the occasion was not lost on the Jewish community. Luckily it was soon the rabbi's birthday. They bought him a Cadillac. At THEIR front-yard ceremony they cut two inches off the tailpipe!

What is privately most funny about that story to me is that it was told to me by an orthodox Jew in his wife's presence. She looked blank. She didn't get the joke, and her husband had to explain it to her!

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Melani
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 07:07 PM

Just for the record, re: Japanese joke--there are Jews in every country in the world. In college I had a class in comparative religions taught by Rabbi Hiroshi Okomoto--a native-born Japanese Jew. Even more fascinating, during WWII he was a chaplain in a kamimaze school.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 07:09 PM

Q: Why are most Jewish jokes derogatory? My non-Jewish spouse noted, I think correctly, that they often reflect some of the worst stereotypes about Jews (self-serving, in particular). Some characterizations are clownish, and Jews laugh heartily on hearing them.

A: There are several Jewish joke books currently popular which deal with this issue in their introductions. Basically, some of the derogatory jokes in the world of Jewish humor are self-deprecating as a means of dealing with the bitter cruelty of Jewish existence throughout the past centuries until relatively recent times. In other words, it was rage and anger at the outside world turned inward--but purely for internal consumption.

The existence of down-right offensive, anti-semitic jokes, however, stems from bigots and racists who use humor as a means of trying to elicit sympathy for their disgusting views and try to make such bigoted ideas acceptable and even popular by claiming, "it is only a joke."

Many Jews also tend to laugh at such jokes (both kinds) because the overwhelming majority of American Jews are assimilated, ignorant of the Jewish tradition, and have no authentic sense of their own identity. Therefore, this kind of laughter can be seen as either an attempt by these Jews to distance themselves from their own tradition due to their own native sense of alienation, or as an attempt to "fit in" to the larger society and they think that self-deprecation is the means of doing so. Or perhaps, sadly enough, because these Jews are so Jewishly uneducated that they accept the reality of the Jewish stereotypes in the jokes!

Rabbi Daniel Kohn


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: mousethief
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 07:11 PM

A true story: my wife, while in college, was going out during December with a bunch of buddies to get something to eat. One of the women in the car, who was Jewish, as they passed someone's lawn with a manger scene, piped up, "Great, now that I've got a bunch of Goyim in the car, I can finally ask this question that's been bugging me a long time. I always see these manger scenes that are supposed to represent the scene when Jesus was born, right? What I want to know is, there's always camels, and maybe sheep, and a cow or two, but there's never any pigs. Why aren't there any pigs?"

Which just goes to show, I guess, that blondeness really isn't about hair color or ethnicity at all.

Alex
the real Mousethief
accept no substitutes


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:04 PM

A person belonging to an ethnic group whose members are commonly considered to have certain stereotypical mannerisms met another person belonging to a different ethnic group with a different set of imputed stereotypical mannerisms. The first person acted in a manner consistent with the stereotypes associated with his ethnic group, and proceeded to make a remark which might be considered to establish conclusively his membership in that group, whereupon his companion proceeded to make a remark with a double meaning, the first meaning of which could be interpreted to indicate his agreement with his companion, but the other meaning of which serves to corroborate his membership in his particular ethnic group. The first person took offense at his remark, and reacted in a stereotypical way!


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:08 PM

Q: How many people belonging to a certain ethnic group does it take to perform a particular menial activity?

A: A finite positive integer. One to perform the activity, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical of their ethnic group!

(hmm....wonder why no one is laughing?)


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:20 PM

No one is laughing because your racist humor is not funny.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST,Well it is not supposed to be serious!
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 08:30 PM

The list of comics should contain the Marx brothers.

The remarks about sensitivity are made by people who do not have a sense of humor -Sie gornisht helfen- for them, pity.

The English people are not all in fancy houses and spilling money out of their pockets, I used have friends of many different religions, anyway in England we never mentioned it, we hung out together and laughed a lot. So what Cranky is doing is not new to me it is only different by being on the net.

If I wanted a new friend I could not find a better one than Cranky :)

Rabbai, must we be so narrow thinking not to see the happy side of things?


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST,Sailor DAn
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 09:40 PM

After I read this post and laughed myself silly I came across a post that changed the entire complexion of the thread. But so be it, everyone has an opinion. IT is to bad that people cant see beyond the tips of their noses even with glasses on.

Laughter is a great medicine, and everyone of these jokes I have heard in thirty different ways about 650 different nationalities. Every joke is told to bring a smile, a chuckle or a laugh to someone. Maybe as it was pointed out, some jokes were made originally to hide certain barbed digs at a group. But here on the cat I feel they were in good fun, Its too bad that things just couldnt be taken that way without people looking for hidden meanings or slights at an ethnic group.

I am on my high horse tonight, if you want to know about what kind of a person I am, and what my makeup is read another post I made to the American National ANthem thread.

Have a great day and remember, If you can laugh at yourself with others and about others with them, it sure lifts the weights of the world.

Dan


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Ebbie
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 10:53 PM

Let me suggest that a Mudcatter begin a new thread, entitled 'Non-Offensive Black Jokes'. Does that sound different? If no one is leery at the thought of such a thread, then perhaps I'm wrong about this one.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Ferrara
Date: 30 Apr 01 - 11:53 PM

Well, I too found that once we got into the thread, a lot of the jokes felt offensive to me. But there others that seemed darned funny and not at all derogatory or offensive. Some are "in jokes," depending on factors specific to Judaism and/or Jews; some are just enjoyable jokes.

For example, I found myself LOL at Pseudolus' story of the 80 year old man in the confessional. To me it's a great story. Period. Also the story that ended, "He KNOWS he's Jesus Christ. He THINKS he's Arnold Palmer." This to me is very funny.

Nobody will pay any attention to this, of course, but I suggest that anyone who wants to add more jokes should re-read them at least three times first to decide whether they are a subtle [or not-so-subtle] put-down.

Humor can be a trap, you get used to ethnic jokes and don't see the problems they can cause. I once looked at sheet music of about a dozen "ethnic" American songs of the 19th century. Most of them were horribly offensive. Almost unbelievable from today's perspective.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: mousethief
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:14 AM

Okay, is this offensive or not?

Q: What do you call a movie about an African American who invents a time machine?

A: Black to the Future.

(I mean, I know it's a stupid joke, but is it offensive?)

Alex


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Shula
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:14 AM

Dear Folks,

Um! Um! Um! Jes' what in taw'nation hev ya'll gone 'n got y'seves inta wi' dissun heah? Cain't but leave home fo''while 'n' th' whole mess'n ya gits t' squabblin' 'mongst y'seves lak six-seb'n ducks wi' but one egg b'twixt 'em. Time t' fiddle a diff'unt choon, sez Ah.

Ha' 'bout we stot up a new thread? Ah recollecks a tale-a-two ya'll might like... What'ch'all thenk? Eb'bah-dy wawna heah a nahce ('n' Ah *do* mean *nahce*) Eye-talian-Veet'namese-Chuwish-A-murc'n, cross-y'hawt'n'hope't'dah, *chroo* staw-ry?

Shalom,

Shula


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Bert
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:46 AM

HEY Shula me luv! How the hell are you doing? Hope your health is fine now.

True story, I know I've told this before but nevermind, here goes again...I have this friend of Scottish extraction who converted to Judaism. He speaks both Gaelic and Hebrew. Well he ended up having an operation for congestive heart failure and took great delight in the fact that they replaced one of the valves in his heart with one from a pig.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 May 01 - 02:05 AM

Mousethief, I for one don't think that is offensive- it's unexpected and gave me a chuckle. Same as with two of Justa Picker's jokes- those were not 'Jewish' jokes, they were a bittersweet commentary on the human condition, ethnicity irrelevant. I like a laugh just as well as the next one- I just don't want to have to look over my shoulder to see if someone is listening. I don't want to see a stricken look that I helped put there on someone's face.

There's the question in another thread about what gets your knickers in a twist. One of mine- and it's a deadly serious one- is having someone say something like, Is anyone here Catholic/Jewish/vegetarian/a lawyer? If not, I've got a great joke...

I despise it. If you know it's offensive why on earth is it necessary to relate it? If it's such a great joke, turn it inside out and tell it on yourself. You get some great mileage out of that. Besides, it's creative in a way that parroting someone else's meannessess can never be.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST,kluthr
Date: 01 May 01 - 02:20 AM

A Jewish grandmother is taking her grandson for a walk on the beach, when suddenly a freak wave comes out of nowhere and washes the boy away. The old woman looks to the sky and says "Please God- it's too much. That boy is all I have left in the world. Don't take him from me!" Just then another freak wave comes up and deposits the boy safe and sound by her side. She sweeps him up with tears on her face and shouts "Thank you, thank you, I..." and stops, takes a closer look at her grandson, and says "He had a hat!"


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 01 May 01 - 03:28 AM

Ebbie

You want a "Black Joke"? well here's one, but first,
In my hometown there are a lot of Black and mixed families. The live all over town. Most are not descended from slaves. Their ancestors were free African sailors who settled here by choice. Amongst "windbag" sailors, there's only one criterion for judging a person's worth. "Can I trust him (or her) to do the right thing when our lives are at stake"? If the answer is, "yes" then nothing else matters, especially what a person looks like. None of my jokes, indeed none of the others, involve what a person looks like.

I must exclude my Jewish friends from the following paragraph for reasons that will become obvious. All my friends pretty much share the same customs, religion (I'm Episcopal) language holidays, etc. We hang out in the same places, do the same kind of work, live in the same kind of houses and in the same neighborhoods. Bigotry is something we've heard about but, for the most part, haven't experienced except when away from our homes. So what is there to make jokes about?
But, and half my ancestry is Jewish, (on my dad's side) there are differences here in religion, language, customs, "Kosher", "Mohel's", etc etc, that CAN be fodder for humor without being condescending or insulting or stereotyping. The Japanese Joke is a scream. Oh, did you know that the Japanese Government, officially, looked into the possibility of rescuing Jews from their allies? And would have gotten involved in that project had they not made the mistake of "Pearl Harbor". Anyway, here's a "Black Joke"

A Priest is crossing an unpaved stree in Biloxi, Mississippi when he slipped on and fell into a mud puddle, A Black man, passing by, stops to help him to his feet and uses his handkerchief in an attempt to clean off some of the mud. "Thank you" said the Priest, and then asked "Are you Catholic?" " OH NO! Father", he replied, " I've got enough trouble being a..........."

You could tell that story to any of my Black Friend, and get a laugh. You could even use the"N" word without causing ..., well, maybe I could, because they do know that bigots exists in most of our country. but they also are damned sure that I'm not one of them.

And I do know another "Black Joke" that is also a Jewish Joke, notice that I'm not preying on any unsavory characteristics. And, as you'll see, the principal character in this joke is anything BUT a biggot.

This would be a lot funnier if I could've taken you by surprise, but I guess I've already ruined that possibilty to make a point.

A son just told his mother that he's getting married, but that his intended is not Jewish. (Most mothers who are devout members of any congregation would be upset) His mother tries to talk him out of it. Finally she says, "Some day, far into the future you'll get into an argument and she'l say, 'JEW, JEW, JEW'". "Then what will you do?", and the son replies, "I'll say, 'CHINK, CHINK, CHINK'" (or whatever)

You see?", "Ebbie" Humor can certainly be based on differences without preying on unsavory stereotypes.

I not only would never take advantage of another person because of inherent differences, and, neither would I stand idly by and allow anyone else to.

These two jokes ARE funny.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: English Jon
Date: 01 May 01 - 03:37 AM

Lama ragashu goyim, seems to apply equally to the frum here too.

Ergo: Humour based on the human condition...

David's Bar mitzvah. Whole family gathered together. Everyone happy, except old uncle Issaac.

"Issac, what's the matter"

"Nobody cares about the Jews"

"Issac, what's brought this on? you've got your whole family here. At least cheer up for the boy!"

"Nobody cares...you know, during the war, the Germans murdered 6 million Jews, 4 million poles, 2 million communists and 28 postmen."

"28 Postmen?"

"you see. Nobody cares about the Jews!"


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: CarolC
Date: 01 May 01 - 04:14 AM

Here's what I wonder. I wonder with what sort of response this thread would have been met had it been started by someone who could not claim Jewish ancestry.

I think the answer to that question would tell us whether or not a thread like this one is a good idea.

Carol


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Boab
Date: 01 May 01 - 04:34 AM

The Minister , the Priest and the Rabbi were comparing notes about how they dealt with the Sunday morning "offertory" [for absolute atheists---the cash collection]. The Minister says,"I draw a six inch circle on the ground, throw the coins and notes in the air, and keep what lands in the circle for myself, giving all the remainder to the Lord". The Priest had a variation on the same idea, only when the cash fell back to the ground , he claimed all the cash OUTSIDE the circle, leaving the Lord with what stayed inside. " I do it differently" said the Rabbi, " I throw all the cash up, and what the Lord wants, he catches---the rest is mine!"


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: mousethief
Date: 01 May 01 - 11:07 AM

Cranky Yankee, couldn't your joke #1 be considered offensive to Catholics? I'm not one but it seems it is really a slam on Catholics, not blacks/whatever.

Alex


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Gary T
Date: 01 May 01 - 11:20 AM

Alex, I saw that joke as spearing Mississipians, not Catholics or blacks. The point is that non-WASPS are (were?) not well-received in the deep south.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: mousethief
Date: 01 May 01 - 11:22 AM

Knowing that, Gary, I now see the point. But before you said that, it just seemed like a slam against Catholics.

Which maybe says something about the whole ethnic joke phenomenon we all should consider?

Alex


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Gary T
Date: 01 May 01 - 11:27 AM

Alex--yep.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 May 01 - 11:44 AM

I think this thread and the others are a mistake, and inevitably lead to hurt feelings, bad manners, and anger. Justifying it under the notion that humour is somehow a universal healer and we should all be tolerant is perhaps true theoretically, but not in this circumstance. This is the Internet, not your living room, or a small group of your buddies getting together, whatever the ethnic group, and however O.K. it is when you and your group are together. It will be taken badly here. We have no control or ability to signal as a community when people have gone over the line. It amounts to what we used to call "coat trailing". It is not censorship if people have the good grace not to get started in what inevitably will cause grief around here.

yours, Peter T.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Ferrara
Date: 01 May 01 - 12:21 PM

If anyone is reading this thread who hasn't checked out Shula's ethic-groups story in her "Melting Pot Muddles" thread, her True story is an absolute delight and what I would definitely call non-irritating....not to say ... forgive me, Shula, if this sounds too sappy ... heartwarming. Worth checking out.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: RichM
Date: 01 May 01 - 01:20 PM

Once you enter a discussion, you validate it--not the premise, the discussion.
If you don't approve, don't post! That's the quickest way to kill a thread....

If you really want to distress yourself, read some of the social newsgroups that discuss conflicts between Arab/Israeli, Indonesian/Timorese, North/South Ireland, India/Pakistan...the list is endless.
Personally, I was more upset by the Mississippi state flag thread....

Rich McCarthy


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST,Pat Buchanan
Date: 02 May 01 - 03:40 PM

Jews voting for me in Miami. That was a pretty funny joke.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST
Date: 02 May 01 - 11:21 PM

What does a JAP make for dinner?

Reservations.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST,I WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR DAMN COOKIE
Date: 03 May 01 - 11:37 PM

I'm a guest because I won't allow my computer to take cookies from a site filled with such anti-Semitic and racist shit as I see on this thread and the Black jokes thread.

The perpetrators of this crap should be ashamed of themselves.

Too few other Mudcats stood up and objected. Those who kept silent should also be ashamed.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 04 May 01 - 04:04 AM

I'm fed up with this whole thing. Read, "Baseball and Basketball"please, Mr.(or Ms) "I wouldn't take your Dam Cookie".
or (I was going to say, "Go Piss up a rope", but I won't)


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 04 May 01 - 04:38 AM

I'm fed up with this whole thing. Read, "Baseball and Basketball"please, Mr.(or Ms) "I wouldn't take your Dam Cookie".
or (I was going to say, "Go Piss up a rope", but I won't)


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: GUEST
Date: 04 May 01 - 03:27 PM

Cranky Yankee, at 4:38 A.M. you should be sleeping. Staying up all night makes you a might cranky.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: Bluebelle
Date: 04 May 01 - 10:24 PM

Dear GUEST,I WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR DAMN COOKIE:

I agree with you wholeheartedly about those who remain silent. The world remained silent during The Holocaust and that is what most do when a thread of this type is started. It must, therefore, be an inherent character trait in many people.

There was a time, pre-1999, when threads of this nature would never have been started. I certainly would not direct blame at those who rally against it, as some do by saying "just don't respond" or "if you don't like the thread, click on the Back button," as if the person who is offended should carry the burden. To those of you who did voice your concern or outrage, thank you for putting yourselves "on the line," as it were.


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Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: CarolC
Date: 04 May 01 - 11:07 PM

I hope those of you who are offended by the jokes in this thread as well as those who are upset that some people didn't register disapproval of it can put yourselves in the shoes of those of us who cannot claim any Jewish ancestry for just one moment.

This thread was started by someone who can claim Jewish ancestry. That puts the those of us who can't in a very confusing situation. Some people see it as permission to go along with what was started by someone who supposedly knows what's acceptable and what isn't, to people of Jewish ancestry.

At the same time, it's a bit difficult for those of us who don't have Jewish ancestry to tell someone who does, what is appropriate and what isn't for their own ethnic or religious group. That would be a bit patronizing, wouldn't it?

Have a little compassion for those of us who want to do what is right, but who have been put in the middle of what is essentially, a controversy between people of the same ethnic group.

Here's what I posted earlier in this thread. I think it's a good question and deserves an answer. It's the closest I could come to expressing the concern I had about this thread without being patronizing to someone who has a better right than I have to decide what is and is not offensive to Jews.

Subject: RE: NON IRRITATING JEWISH JOKES
From: CarolC
Date: 01-May-01 - 04:14 AM

Here's what I wonder. I wonder with what sort of response this thread would have been met had it been started by someone who could not claim Jewish ancestry.

I think the answer to that question would tell us whether or not a thread like this one is a good idea.


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