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BS: I had to share this....

Morticia 01 May 01 - 07:06 PM
CarolC 01 May 01 - 07:15 PM
Morticia 01 May 01 - 07:22 PM
SINSULL 01 May 01 - 07:32 PM
kendall 01 May 01 - 07:33 PM
GUEST,Karen 01 May 01 - 07:59 PM
Benjamin 01 May 01 - 08:41 PM
Justa Picker 01 May 01 - 08:47 PM
kendall 01 May 01 - 10:16 PM
JedMarum 02 May 01 - 12:27 AM
Liz the Squeak 02 May 01 - 12:56 AM
CarolC 02 May 01 - 01:17 AM
roopoo 02 May 01 - 01:56 AM
Michael in Swansea 02 May 01 - 03:54 AM
sian, west wales 02 May 01 - 04:56 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 02 May 01 - 05:17 AM
Whistle Stop 02 May 01 - 08:21 AM
RoyH (Burl) 02 May 01 - 10:50 AM
mousethief 02 May 01 - 11:34 AM
GUEST,Karen 02 May 01 - 12:04 PM
Hollowfox 02 May 01 - 12:30 PM
Pseudolus 02 May 01 - 12:46 PM
GUEST,Claymore 02 May 01 - 04:16 PM
GUEST,Claymore 02 May 01 - 04:25 PM
MMario 02 May 01 - 04:48 PM
Nemesis 02 May 01 - 05:20 PM
kytrad (Jean Ritchie) 02 May 01 - 07:01 PM
Mary in Kentucky 02 May 01 - 07:26 PM
catspaw49 02 May 01 - 07:27 PM
SINSULL 02 May 01 - 08:16 PM
lady penelope 03 May 01 - 03:31 AM
GUEST,Susie 03 May 01 - 09:42 AM
GUEST, Vestal Jande 03 May 01 - 10:15 AM
Shula 03 May 01 - 11:58 AM
GUEST,Karen 03 May 01 - 12:35 PM
Hawker 03 May 01 - 06:18 PM
JennieG 03 May 01 - 10:00 PM
CarolC 03 May 01 - 10:14 PM
Ebbie 03 May 01 - 10:52 PM
Bill D 03 May 01 - 11:46 PM
roopoo 04 May 01 - 02:25 AM
Sorcha 04 May 01 - 02:36 AM
kendall 04 May 01 - 08:37 AM
Ringer 04 May 01 - 01:25 PM
Ringer 22 May 01 - 09:00 AM

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Subject: I had to share this....
From: Morticia
Date: 01 May 01 - 07:06 PM

An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful."

The boy looked up, 'Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: CarolC
Date: 01 May 01 - 07:15 PM

That story reminds me a little of something my son said to me when he was about four or five years old.

He was sitting at the kitchen table munching on a snack. I was hustling about the kitchen, getting a meal ready, attending to my son, and just generally being busy.

My son said, "Mom, you have very important hands".

I'll never forget that. At least, I hope I never do...


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Morticia
Date: 01 May 01 - 07:22 PM

You've made me remember a time when I was running around the kitchen, with a baby in my arms, and Fiona sitting at the kitchen table doing homework.I was trying to get supper, and placate the baby and offer help on the homework ... and she said " Mummy, how do you make your head go in so many places at once?".....thanks Carol, I'd forgotten that.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 May 01 - 07:32 PM

When I was a child someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. My response to my mother was "I want to a nothing like you Mom". I said it lovingly and she knew what I meant but my brothers teased me unmercifully. So to all you mothers who do nothing - sit down and take a rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: kendall
Date: 01 May 01 - 07:33 PM

Morty, that is just beautiful!


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 01 May 01 - 07:59 PM

What a sweet thread this is! I love all the stories and I hope you don't mind me adding mine. My 7-year-old nephew had to do a report on someone who was a hero to him. Most of the kids were writing about policemen or firefighters or their parents. He wrote it about his grandfather (my father) and said, "Grandpa's not a superhero with superpowers but he had to go off to fight in WWII to help protect America. He's my hero." You can bet my father keeps that report in a special place.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Benjamin
Date: 01 May 01 - 08:41 PM

That's a nice story!

When I was growing up, seemed that everyone had to tease me about my freckles. No one had made a comment since Jr. High till I got to Mexico over spring break and the kids I worked with all started putting their fingers all around their faces (signing freckles). Those kids were so cute! They named a friend of mine "Strawberrie Girl."

Does Fiona like freckles?

BMW


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Justa Picker
Date: 01 May 01 - 08:47 PM

Great story Morticia.

It triggered a memory of when my daughter was 4 years old and I was chewing her out about something, and her exact words to me were: "Dad, you have too many rules and regulations. I'm just a kid." Stopped me dead in my tracks, and I've tried to lighten up since then.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: kendall
Date: 01 May 01 - 10:16 PM

My eldest daughter inherited a step son, and, he had known me a short time when he said "Did you know you are famous?" One of the few times I've been speechless!


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: JedMarum
Date: 02 May 01 - 12:27 AM

Great story Morticia, and others! I don't have a cute one to add to the list, but to tell y'all that my Dad referred (jokingly) to my freckles as "fly shit."


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 May 01 - 12:56 AM

I wish my little darling had said something as cute as that, but no. She just asked me, in the middle of the shopping street, of course, if willies were useful and did all boys know what to do with them.....

I blame the Godmother. :)

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: CarolC
Date: 02 May 01 - 01:17 AM

She sounds like a very bright young lady to me, LtS. (And practical, too... )


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: roopoo
Date: 02 May 01 - 01:56 AM

My (now 20 year old) daughter was at church with me when she was 3, and standing in the front pew, when the vicar (bearded) came in and she very loudly said, "Hey, mum, look - Baby Jesus!" Result: one dignified young vicar collapsed with laughter. Not my fault she was confused, as it wasn't long after Christmas and she'd also seen pictures of Jesus in her kiddy Bible... Could have been worse - she could have said "Daddy!"

Andrea


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Michael in Swansea
Date: 02 May 01 - 03:54 AM

I used to play fight with one of my nephews and then one Sunday in church when he was about 6 he asked rather loudly "Michael will you give me a damn good kicking when we get home?"

Mike


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: sian, west wales
Date: 02 May 01 - 04:56 AM

When my older sister was 3, mum told her that she'd be going with her to Church on Sunday. Mary discussed this with her friend across the back fence, a grizzled old Scot with ... ummm ... colourful? language who explained the whole process to her.

They got her into church and stood her on the pew to see better. In came the minister but for some reason the choir was late so Mary (who had a bass voice as a child and always grumpy) demanded loudly, "Where's duh god-dam choir???" which the Scot had promised would process in after the cleric.

sian - who never got into scrapes ... til later


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 02 May 01 - 05:17 AM

When I was small we lived behind and above my aunt's hairdressing business so callers came to the back door via an entry (what Coronation St watchers would know as a ginnel). One day a knock came at the door and when I went there was a tall Sikh in a turban who was selling rugs.
I had read too many adventure comics for my own good and I ran screaming into the shop to tell my aunt and mother: "There's a cannibal in the garden!".
Red faces all round! They apologised to him for my ignorance, he apologised for scaring me. I learned a lesson in multiculturism.
RtS


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Whistle Stop
Date: 02 May 01 - 08:21 AM

When my son Michael was three he developed a fascination for dinosaurs, and could name many of them. When a co-worker of mine asked him what his favorite one was, he answered "triceratops". My colleague asked him if he knew why it was called a triceratops, and Michael said that it was because of his horns. "And how many horns does a triceratops have?" Michael explained that he had "two horns and one horn". Again a question: "Two horns and one horn? What does that make?" Michael gave him a serious look and patiently said "it makes sense".


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 02 May 01 - 10:50 AM

Freckles are beautiful. My eldest granddaughter has freckles........


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: mousethief
Date: 02 May 01 - 11:34 AM

I've never understood people who didn't like their freckles. I've always loved freckles.

Great stories, everybody!

Alex


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 02 May 01 - 12:04 PM

When my girlfriend's son started kindergarten all the parents were invited to stay the first hour until the children felt comfortable with the new situation. The parents stood in the back of the room and the teacher in turn introduced each child and asked them a few questions about themselves. When it was Evan's turn, the teacher asked him if he knew the difference between men and women (it had something to do with a previous comment). He answered very authoritively, "Oh yes, I do. Men gots peanuts..." This caused all the parents to chuckle with delight and my girlfriend looked around happily at how cute her son was acting but then he continued "...and women gots black fur." My girlfriend's proud demeanor quickly turned to embarassment. After all the parental guffawing had settled down she could only say, "Well, at least you know I'm a natural burnette."


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Hollowfox
Date: 02 May 01 - 12:30 PM

My daughter wanted to go to church in a shorts and t-shirt outfit that had dragons on it. I pointed out that she was supposed to dress up to show respect for God, not dress in something just because she and her girlfriends like dragons. She didn't miss a beat. She replied that God must like dragons as well, or God wouldn't have created them in the fiirst place.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Pseudolus
Date: 02 May 01 - 12:46 PM

A similar story to Mouldy's we were in Church one Sunday with my two girls and when the priest walked out my youngest looked at him and asked loudly, "Is he a God or a Jesus?" Naturally her next sentence was, "Daddy, what's so funny???"

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST,Claymore
Date: 02 May 01 - 04:16 PM

One day a couple of weeks after our barn cat had given birth to some kittens, several of my friends were having a conversation, as my daughter waited patiently to inject herself into "adult talk" as children will often do.

Finally she could hold back no longer, and piped up,

"I know how to tell boy kitties from girl kitties".

All of the adults studiously avoided looking down, and continued their conversations.

Again,

" Daddy, I know how to tell boy kitties from girl kitties." No escape, so I looked down.

"OK, Heather, how do you tell girl kitties from boy kitties?"

"Well, you carefully turn them on their back and... you look at the bottoms of their feet... "

A collective sight and another thing for her mother to handle...


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST,Claymore
Date: 02 May 01 - 04:25 PM

Correction from Previous: In last sentence, the word should be sigh and not sight... sorry


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: MMario
Date: 02 May 01 - 04:48 PM

oh - I can well believe the "sight" of your face would have been interesting...


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Nemesis
Date: 02 May 01 - 05:20 PM

My little sister gazing at the multi-coloured veins and arteries all over my Mum's legs sighed and said, "I hope when I grow up I'll have pretty patterns on my legs like yours Mummy"

Oh, and this is awful but true:

Very small supermarket, in Rustington, Sussex just for the record. Harrassed mother was heard on the other side of the shelves, refusing sweets to her child. "No, no. No, you can't. No!" This went on for a bit and the child was persisting "NO! I really mean it! (Yes, we've all been there with pester power - but how many of us have a kid this smart (or dumb)?) because there then arose clear and shrill above the gentle hum of shoppers:

"IF YOU DON'T LET ME ......

....I'M GOING TO TELL EVERYONE I SAW YOU KISSING DADDY'S WILLIE!"


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: kytrad (Jean Ritchie)
Date: 02 May 01 - 07:01 PM

Our son # 2 once asked the minister's wife, "Is this punch spiked?"


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 02 May 01 - 07:26 PM

Claymore - I work in a vet clinic, so I know how to tell a boy kitty from a girl kitty. I go by their names.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 May 01 - 07:27 PM

Lovely thread.............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 May 01 - 08:16 PM

Wonderful stories.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: lady penelope
Date: 03 May 01 - 03:31 AM

A small girl in the supermarket was dilligently helping her mother by reading out the foodstuffs they were going past in a very loud voice. In this particular store the economy orange juice came in the same containers as the milk. So I suppose it shouldn't have been surprising when she called out in great astonishment " Look Mummy, freshly squeezed cow juice! " The poor woman was "smirked" to death after the 'mexican guffaw' went round the place. I love small children, well done with ketchup.

TTFN M'Lady P.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST,Susie
Date: 03 May 01 - 09:42 AM

The parents of a small boy in my class told me this one . . after stopping at a motorway cafe they realised their son wasn't with them as they were about to go through the doors to leave and turning round, saw him looking intently at a chap seated at one of the tables. When they urged him to hurry up, he replied "Just a minute, you have to come here and look at this man's big nose!"


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST, Vestal Jande
Date: 03 May 01 - 10:15 AM

Hi all!

Love these poignant and funny stories!

Morticia, lovely thread, very sweet and moving story about the freckles and the wrinkles. My parner is twelve years younger than myself (though we are equals in every way). I will remember that story as I gaze lovingly on his delightful freckles, and will cease to worry about all these wrinkles about my eyes. In the eyes of love we are all beautiful.

CarolC: didn't know you have a son... How old is he now? Loved the "very important hands". It's true, too. How could anyone play an accordian without very important hands?

~ Jande


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Shula
Date: 03 May 01 - 11:58 AM

Dear folks,

My son, Chaz, was a "different drummer" kind of kid. He was forever asking strange questions. Like the time, at about age four, he asked me if I remembered telling him about the soft, warm, dark place in my tummy where he had grown big enough to be born. When I told him I did remember, he asked if I were using it just at present. I said, " No, but why do you want to know?" He answered,in a tone of perfect reasonbleness, "I just thought if you weren't using it, it would be a good place to keep my turtle."

About a year later, riding in the back seat of the car, he piped up with, "Do you remember you told me I could be anything I want when I grow up?" "Sure," I said, adding a caveat, "... as long as you go to college." Silence, while he considered his options. Finally, in consternation, "but you said 'anything,' and I want to be a *bat*!"

When he was toilet-training, I explained that the reason poop had to go in the toilet was so we could send it back to the earth to feed the flowers and vegetables. I thought it would appeal to his innate sense of logic that since we got food from the plants, we should repay them in "fertilizer."

A couple of years later, when I had forgotten all that, we went to the annual Philadelphia flower show. At the time the city was treating sewage to make a fertilizer called "Philorganic." They had a display of the process and free 25 lb. bags to give away to anyone interested. Chaz was fascinated and got the man to explain the whole process to him. Then he looked at all the bags and asked, "Where's *my* bag?" "I don't understand, said the man." So my earnest son explained about "feeding the flowers" and insisted that they had to have his bag *somewhere." Chaz told the man that they had to give each of us "our own bags." So we ended up lugging home 50 lbs. of fertiliser to an apartment with only a few plants on the balcony. I had to work pretty hard to persuade him to let me give the useless stuff to friends with a large garden.

When he was about three, he announced that he knew "where G-D lives." "Really?" I asked, "Where *does* G-D live, Zeiskeit?" "In the little door in the back of the closet," he declared. I think he had seen the electrician who came to fix the fuse box, blow out a couple of fuses -- but what a conclusion!

When he was only about two and a half, I walked into the living room to find him sitting cross-legged on the couch, thoughtfully rubbing his comfort blanket on his cheek. He looked up at me and frowned. Then he asked,"Do turtles bite?" I had the feeling he thought he knew the answer, so I said, "I don't know. Do *you* think turtles bite?" He took a long breath, gave it his most serious consideration, and gravely declared," *Not* if you don't *bother* them." He turned his head away and resumed rubbing his little blanket on his cheek. I could tell that I had been dismissed, so I left the room.

Shalom,

Shula


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 03 May 01 - 12:35 PM

When my son was four we were blessed with our second bundle of joy. Being a newborn our daughter was inclined to cry quite regularly. One day I was holding her while walking around the living room trying to stop her crying. My son said, "Mom, are you going to have any more babies?" I laughingly said, "Oh, I don't know Ross. Do you think I should?" He shook his head sadly and said, "No, two is all we can handle."


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Hawker
Date: 03 May 01 - 06:18 PM

Ah! the honesty of children, Yesterday I had my hair streaked, I asked my daughter if she liked it and she replied after close scrutiny...."Yes, it's lovely.....but you've still got the wjite ones too!"- Bless! :0)


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: JennieG
Date: 03 May 01 - 10:00 PM

Many many years ago I took my son Stephen (then aged about 2, now 25) to the beach with some other mums and small kids.....Stephen was happily playing in the sand, I was stretched out in the sun feeling lazy when someone else's small boy near me started to dig in the sand and I was getting sprayed. I was too lazy to move so I asked him to go somewhere else. He said in a tone of great urgency "but I gotta dig!" I said to him "it's an inner compulsion is it" and he said very seriously "no it's a hole!"
All those years ago, and I have never forgotten - but it did teach me that sarcasm is wasted on small kids.
Cheers
JennieG


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: CarolC
Date: 03 May 01 - 10:14 PM

Hi Jande,

Thanks. He'll be 18 in July. He's not a folkbaby, but as a young filmmaker, he uses all kinds of music in his films. I think he would probably love to use some of your folkbaby's music in one of his films one day.

Carol


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Ebbie
Date: 03 May 01 - 10:52 PM

LOL- What great stories!

When my daughter was 5, she and a playmate were examining our new puppy. When I heard her say, And this is his peter, I spoke up from across the room. Actually, Kelly, I said, the name is 'penis'- it's not called peter; that's just slang.

She looked confused. But we can say 'Peter Rabbit', can't we?

I chuckled, Yes, we can say Peter Rabbit.

She turned back to her friend. And this is his Peter Rabbit, she said.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Bill D
Date: 03 May 01 - 11:46 PM

when my daughter was 'about' 2½, she hurt her finger...and up to then, the standard 'treatment' for minor bumps and bruises was to "kiss it and make it better"....so she held it out and the sore spot was dutifully kissed...she heaved a sigh of relief...turned to go...then stopped and looked up with this wrinkled brow and sad, accusitive expression...."but....it still hurts!"

the dawn of comprehension about how life is.....


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: roopoo
Date: 04 May 01 - 02:25 AM

Not a saying, but talk of toilet training brought back another memory of the same daughter the previous year (then 2 years old).

We were living in a bungalow in S. Africa, and it was summer, so I let her wander around with no panties. She wouldn't use a potty, and eventually insisted, after helping the drought by sprinkling the garden, that if she went anywhere she'd use the loo. Can't fault her on that: she used to potter off on her own, and climb on to face the cistern. One afternoon, she wandered back into the lounge walking with her legs wide apart and a pained expression on her face. I asked her why she was walking that way and she said her bottom hurt. I asked what had she done to make it hurt, and she said it was the talcum powder. There was no talcum powder close to hand. I asked where she had got it and she told me from the shelf over the bath. The only thing up there was the nappy cleanser powder, and she had had to climb up onto the side of the bath and stand on that to reach the tub!

A sit in a cool bath sorted her out. She's now training for the dignified profession of pharmacist. Obviously showied an interest in the reaction of chemicals on the human body at an early age!

Andrea


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Sorcha
Date: 04 May 01 - 02:36 AM

OK, I have to add mine.

When our daughter Kate was about 6(now 16) just learning to read and write I did not feel well one afternoon. She came home from school to a sick mum.

I did not want to go to bed leaving her alone, but she PROMISED she would be OK so I turned the telly on, gave her a snack and went to bed. Later, I found this note on the front door--

Mom is suck. She is slipping. Do not disgust her.

Translates to Mom is sick. She is sleeping. Do not disturb her.

I like the original better, and yes, I still have the note.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: kendall
Date: 04 May 01 - 08:37 AM

I have always had a rule that any subject or question could be raised, and, I would deal with it. However, the day I picked up my 9 year old daughter from school, and she asked "Dad, what is a blow job?" That really caught me by surprise.


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Ringer
Date: 04 May 01 - 01:25 PM

I may mutter about the French as a nation, but individually they're charming. We have a succesion of (usually young) French folks passing through the house (my wife is a great internationalist). A year ago Maryline (a Parisienne) stayed for about 3 months, working at a local firm to improve her English. One evening she told us that all her colleagues had fallen about laughing when she asked for "some shits of paper".

"And then," she continued, "they laughed even more when I changed it to pisses of paper!"


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Subject: RE: BS: I had to share this....
From: Ringer
Date: 22 May 01 - 09:00 AM

And this same Maryline has just sent me an e-mail from her new e-mail address which is now "blimeyafrog@...".

Who says the French have no sense of humour?


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