Subject: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 04 May 01 - 06:44 AM It's been a hectic week and I've neglected the housework. As I pulled on my socks this morning, I noticed an inappropriate amount of lint on the bottoms of my feet and vowed to set aside my Friday evening to vacuum, dust, sweep, and the like. Don't get me wrong. My house is usually spotless, but I've been working like a dog for six days straight and so have the dust bunnies. Add the several days prior to that during which I didn't do any cleaning and there you have it - "inappropriate amount". That got me to thinking about the second anniversary of my renewed bachelorhood coming up in a couple of weeks. Although I now do ALL the housework, yardwork and maintenance, if I "look on the bright side" of the amount of dust bunnies in my house when I don't get the time to vacuum........ Since S/He Left : I don't have to empty the vacuum as often. What other things are we bachelor/ettes thankful for ? Comments also welcome from those who never tied the knot or even from married people who have been able to keep their sense of humour. gnu |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Callie Date: 04 May 01 - 06:52 AM After a particularly bad relationship break up, I was grateful that I could once again give buskers a few coins without attracting strong disapproval. Don't worry too much about your house, gnu. When you look back in ten years, it's untidiness will fade into insignificance. Callie |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 04 May 01 - 07:00 AM I'm not worried. I just thought the "bright side" of it was funny and wanted to share it because it's Friday and I'm in a good mood. I'm going for the humourous here, not the weeny stuff. If anyone wants to ween, post it somewhere else.... unless you need a shoulder to cry on or some advice - the group here at the Mudcat always weem to come through with a good word and compassion. And with any luck, perhaps you can be made fun of, too. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Fibula Mattock Date: 04 May 01 - 07:09 AM I can read in bed. When I was living with the Other Half, I never did. Fib (temporarily residing in a different country from her man) |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Callie Date: 04 May 01 - 07:22 AM no offense intended |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: English Jon Date: 04 May 01 - 07:29 AM Hey, I get to drink beer again, instead of sodding wine. Don't get me wrong, I'm not averse to the occasional drop of Crozes Hermitage, but I'd rather have a pint. Oh yes, I'm happy again, too. That's nice. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: sledge Date: 04 May 01 - 07:38 AM Listening to what you want when you want. Eating what you want when you want. Drinking what you want when you want. Shopping gets done very quickly. Farting in bed and not being compared to the spawn of hell. Same as the last for belching, but you only get called a pig. Sledge :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: GUEST,Midchuck upstairs Date: 04 May 01 - 07:59 AM Listening to what you want when you want. Eating what you want when you want. Drinking what you want when you want. Shopping gets done very quickly. Farting in bed and not being compared to the spawn of hell. Same as the last for belching, but you only get called a pig. I have all those. And the benefits of marriage too. The idea is to take your time before you make the committment in the first place. Our society's overvaluation of romantic love keeps people from getting to know each other well enough to really know whether this is a person they can stand to live with for 50 years...and who can stand to live with them, as they are, for the same period. Watch out for "Once we're married, I'll get this person to straighten out and do things my way." Either in your own thinking or the other person's, or, Gawd forbid, both. Just my personal take base on one person's experience. Peter. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 04 May 01 - 09:28 AM Just did a structural problem investigation at an elderly lady's house. Didn't have the heart to charge the old girl for the half hour it took. Not only did it feel good to "make her day" but I didn't have explain why I didn't charge her.... win-win-win situation. Okay, now for the humourous part. She had four cats, all with oddball names. That got me to thinking that I CAN name my next cat "Fishbreath" if I want to. The last one was "Maggie". Boring. Gee, when I get my next dog, I can call him "C'm'ere" or "Dog". And I can train him as a guide dog for the blind so that I can take him everywhere and not have to leave him in the truck on hot/cold days. |
Subject: Lyr Add: JUST BY MYSELF (Greg Brown) From: katlaughing Date: 04 May 01 - 10:12 AM Haha, gnu, I've thought about training my dog to carry my oxygen bottle for that very same reason. I can carry it just fine, just hate to make him stay home when it gets so hot and he wants to come with me so badly! Those eyes! So eloquent! This reminds me of Greg Brown's song: "Just by Myself"
I'll walk around
I'll make my supper
And I'll go fishin'--
Love never made a--
I'll fold the laundry, just like I please. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Mrrzy Date: 04 May 01 - 10:33 AM Ah, yes, I need to be reminded of these simple joys, thanks, gnu! Let's see... sleeping through the night thanks to no snoring partner ranks way up there, so does going to visit family with the children, since it used to be such an ordeal (my family never liked my X2b, so visiting them was trouble; also my X2B owed $$$ to all the relatives on that side, so more trouble!); going to Fridays After 5, or parties, or any of those places where there might be other humans and noise; going to the movies! (Why my several past loves have not liked film as much as I, I don't know, but I missed a LOT of movies out of not wanting to go without my Other). Hmmm. How about watching the horrible X try to push my buttons AND FAIL, ha ha, I am so over some (well, some is good, right?) things now! Gnu, this is fun! Being able to keep liquor in the house and not have it all gone when people stop by! Being able to keep chocolate (or is that PI now?) ditto! Going to the pool or -even better- the beach! Not being afraid to go home, pending whatever abuse was waiting! Hey, this is really good! I'll go back to work now, and come back later... |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Fibula Mattock Date: 04 May 01 - 12:36 PM erk, I didn't mean I couldn't read in bed when the Other Half is there, just that... I have other things to do then... it's our time together, since we no longer work together. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Pseudolus Date: 04 May 01 - 12:56 PM Since she left, I've met someone else and fell in love again, in some ways for the first time.
Since she left, the pressures of being married to her have gone and I've begun to see her differently.
Since she left, she has become a great Mom.
Since she left, her voice (and probably mine) has ceased to be annoying, and we can talk.
Since she left, and I remarried, she and my new wife have slowly become friends.
Since she left, I've realized that our friendship was SO good that we mistook it for love, which is why we had married
Since she left, I found my friend again..... Frank |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 04 May 01 - 01:07 PM kat/katlaughing.... excellent song. I'm going to put that one to a tune on the Hran and make it part of my sessions. That last verse reminds me that I can have as many blankets on my bed as I want. SERIOUSLY ! We had separate rooms within a few years of being married (I won't go into that), but for over ten years, she would change my bedding every now and then, even though I forbade her to do any of my laundry, and decide I had too many blankets on MY bed. Can you blame me for putting a lock on my bedroom door ? Oops.... tooooo far. That was definitely a ween. I'd go for the oxygen bottle ! It would be a lot easier than wearing dark glasses and carrying a white cane, not to mention all the training. Think I might name the next one "Gaseous" or "Oxy".... "C'm'ere, Oxy ! We're going into the grocer's. Fetch me bottle."
|
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Peg Date: 04 May 01 - 04:54 PM no worries about birth control... |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: mousethief Date: 04 May 01 - 04:56 PM Frank, yours is the only story that doesn't reek of bitterness and sour grapes. Congratulations on such a wonderful denouement of what at one time no doubt seemed an irredeemably painful story. Alex |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Pseudolus Date: 07 May 01 - 08:39 AM Thanks Alex....I have to credit the kids however, because without that tie, my story may have been much of the same..... Frank |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Mrrzy Date: 07 May 01 - 09:27 AM Hey, I don't MISS the snoring! But I wish I could say the same as Pseudolus... |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: wdyat12 Date: 07 May 01 - 10:25 AM I'm staying away from this thread. I was for all intensive purposes a bachelor for 17 years. I have a lot to relearn about living with someone else, but so farit has been great! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: IceWolf Date: 07 May 01 - 11:10 AM An odd thread... allow me to spin it on a new distaff. Were my wife to leave me, I would have to:
IceWolf |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Matt_R Date: 07 May 01 - 12:08 PM IceWolf, that's beautiful! |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: CarolC Date: 07 May 01 - 12:22 PM Thanks Ice Wolf and Pseudolus. It's heartening to hear perspectives like yours.
Ice Wolf, I hope some day to be as fortunate as you. (Wish me luck, eh?) Carol |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Naemanson Date: 07 May 01 - 12:50 PM I need to read this. I have lately lost sight of the silver lining and need to be reminded there is one. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Matt_R Date: 07 May 01 - 01:06 PM I just got off the phone with my girlfriend. It's beautiful to hear someone say "I love you" back. Gives me goosebumps. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: IceWolf Date: 07 May 01 - 01:18 PM O' Cats of Mud, when all thy days Are monochrome, all done in greys No blue or green or ruby red, To ease the sorrows on thy head No rainbow gold beyond the cloud, And thy back with burden bowed, Lay down thy burdens at our gate, Ease thyself of sorrow's weight. The storm will pass as does the night And call the dawn behind it bright. A new day, painted by the wind, A rainbow arch, a song, a friend. IceWolf |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Wavestar Date: 07 May 01 - 04:46 PM Oh Matt! I didn't know you had a new girlfriend... or an old one... I'm so out on the news! Congrats :) It being a year since my very painful breakup, and me in a very happy new relationship, I can now look back on it with much more amusement. Since then, I've no longer had to try and be not quite so scary for his friends. I don't have to pretend to like the mainstream life, or approve of what he's doing when I don't. I don't have to try and decipher nearly as much of his typing / handwriting. I don't stay up late at night trying to call him when he's out getting drunk instead of being home like he said he would be. And I can laugh at him and his horny depression since he broke up with his girl. On the other hand, I miss a lot of things, too. We were great friends, and that's being a real challenge to recover. And i feel bad that he's depressed... it's just that... I'm not. :) -J |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Matt_R Date: 07 May 01 - 04:56 PM Yep Jess, we been together a little over 3 months...but it seems like it's been forever..like we've known each other all our lives... Glad to hear you got something good going on too! Here's to The Comeback! |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: mousethief Date: 07 May 01 - 04:57 PM like we've known each other all our lives
Young love, first love |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Peter T. Date: 07 May 01 - 05:04 PM I posted a discussion from game theory once which fits: -- Consider you have 10 points. 10 points = being together with someone you love (the best) 0 points = being together with someone you hate (the worst) 3 points = being alone and hating it 7 points = being alone and liking it Given the possibility of 0, 7s will stay alone; given the possibility of 10, 3s will get together, but many 3s believe they are better at 3 than at 0, even though they are unhappy, and will not gamble their 3 for the possibility of a 10; and so on. yours, Peter T. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: mousethief Date: 07 May 01 - 05:11 PM Sadly, that makes a lot of sense, Peter T. Fortunately my first wife had more guts than I and pulled the plug on our "3" -- and I went through 0, and was able somehow to find a "10." Alex |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Amergin Date: 07 May 01 - 05:26 PM i guess that makes me a three...though what sort of three i am not quite sure.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Jande Date: 08 May 01 - 03:42 PM Icewolf... Beautiful poem/lyric! Thanks! (I needed that) ~ Jande |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 08 May 01 - 03:42 PM 3-5, 3-5, 3-5.... ? |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: CarolC Date: 08 May 01 - 07:59 PM 7 divided by 3, for me, in this case, equals 5. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: katlaughing Date: 09 May 01 - 01:02 AM Ice Wolf, very beautiful, thanks for psoting it. Gnu, this dog is already so willing and pays attention so well, you may be right, I may have to strap some saddlebags on him and let him be my helper. It was already almost too hot for him in the car, today! If you want to hear a copy of Greg Brown singing his song send me a PM with your email addy and I will send it to you. Pro and cons to both situations. I remember reading the cover story of an Utne Reader in about 1987/88 called The New Monogamy, explaining how many 0's-3's (to borrow Peter's formula) were opting to stay together out of fear of AIDS. It would be interesting to see if that is still a motivating factor. kat |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Naemanson Date: 09 May 01 - 06:20 AM I've heard that AIDS is no longer the Great Bugaboo. There was a report on NPR that people today have relaxed about it and are no longer engaging in safe sex. I guess we humans can only stand to have precautions for just so long and then we have to relax. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 09 May 01 - 07:06 AM Oops. Perhaps my last post was misinterpreted. I'm definitely a 7. "3-5, 3-5, 3-5..." is in reference to an old joke, and is "numerical" for male masturbation. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: CarolC Date: 09 May 01 - 07:38 AM No, gnu. Your post wasn't misinterpreted. At least not by me. I was giving my response to Peter T.'s number thing.
I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship. I'd rather be in a good relationship than alone.
I'm not a 7 or a 3. I'm a 5.
Carol (...thinking maybe I didn't need to know about 3-5, 3-5, 3-5. I'm still a virgin, you know ;-)
|
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 09 May 01 - 08:34 AM OK, 5's my final offer. By the way, how long does one have to abstain before one gets one's virgin certification reinstated ? Surely, by now, I must be able to re-apply ? It's been, oh, somewhere between three and five years. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Matt_R Date: 09 May 01 - 08:40 AM 10 here -- and still have original virgin status! --Matt (high on love) |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Mrrzy Date: 09 May 01 - 09:09 AM gnu, I think you need to bathe in Diana's spring, or something. I don't think there is a statute of limitations... malheureusement! And (sorry, but remember, I grew up overseas) somebody explain 353535? |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Grab Date: 09 May 01 - 11:59 AM Matt, most of us have the certificate around somewhere, but we generally find the printing got a bit smudged a while back... ;-) Graham. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 09 May 01 - 01:34 PM Mrrzy... see 07:06AM. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Amergin Date: 09 May 01 - 05:37 PM Mrrzy, I think though am not sure that the 3-5, 3-5...and so on is related to inches..... |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 09 May 01 - 05:46 PM Amergin... that's more than I needed to know. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: Amergin Date: 09 May 01 - 07:01 PM You sure, Gnu? I can send you a picture if you want.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 09 May 01 - 07:14 PM Even MORE than I needed to know. Thanks for the thoughtfulness, but, no need to put yourself out on my account. |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: CarolC Date: 09 May 01 - 07:34 PM I think that's a whole other calendar, Amergin... |
Subject: RE: BS: Since S/He Left...... From: gnu Date: 09 May 01 - 07:36 PM Apparently NOT !!! |