Line Dancers Damned

Subject: Line Dancers Damned
From: Fiolar
Date: 18 May 01 - 09:53 AM

A report in the Guardian of May 18th 2001 brings the news that Ian Paisley reckons that line dancers are "on the road to dmanation." Thousands of Irish dancers according to him have been tapping their toes to Beelzebub's beat. He is quoted as saying "the dancing of the world, hugging the other sex, set to music, is sensual, and clearly caters to the lust of the flesh.". Another minister Rev David McIlveen is quoted as stating that "when Moses came down from the mountain to find the Israelites dancing there was undoubtedly sexual activity going on.Whenever people are having weddings in our churches, the emphasis in on spiritual things and we would advise them not to have dancing at their receptions." Waal shut my mouf. I wonder if the great dance bands are all downstairs now? Heaven must be a rather dull place with no dancing. I wonder if there was dancing at the Marriage Feast at Cana? And what about the song "Lord of the Dance." God protect us against such ... I don't really know what to say.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: GUEST,Beezebub incarnate
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:00 AM

the Rev Ian Paisley needs to be familiar with the road to hell
Personally I will be content to dance on down that road if I have lost my direction

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Mooh
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:01 AM

Without lust of the flesh, Ian Paisley himself wouldn't exist. His is questionable theology. I laughed heartily. I wonder if my bride will go dancing this evening...Mooh.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:04 AM

mmmm, doesn't surprise me - there were Free Presbyterians at my school who didn't/weren't allowed to go to the school discos. Lucky them. Wish I'd had an excuse. School discos are bloody awful.
"Lust of the flesh"? What's wrong with a bit of "lust of the flesh" between consenting adults, eh? If you can't have a bit of lust of the flesh on yer wedding day, when can you?

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: cait
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:14 AM

personally, i think sex should be banned, as it often leads to dancing...

another point against, if you have a wedding dance, it stands to reason there will be musicians there to play...MUSICIANS! *shudder*

gawd only knows what they might get up to with our daughters! could lead to mixed marriages! who wants a musician in the family?

*larf*

*caiti*

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:21 AM

Herself went to a Catholic boarding school and the nuns didn't allow them to have vocal records in case they inflamed them! She could have The Shadows but not Cliff Richard!(well she is a lot younger than I am!)
The thought of line dancing being sexy, though, is lost on me...
RtS

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Charcloth
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:22 AM

I have been told all this before but 2 Sam. 6:14 reads "David danced before the Lord." So at least there is one place where God didn't feel it was bad. Some people just want to make something bad out of every thing.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: InOBU
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:26 AM

Ugh Oh! I suddunly find myself agreeing with ol'Ian though for other reasons. My wife and I used to go, each year, sometimes a few times a year, to Ille au Coudre in Quebec, in the middle of the Saint Lawrence, where there was a little pocket of Quebecouis culture, lots of old fiddlers. Well, the last times we have gone, the fiddling has not been passed on to the next generation, and all the old folks are not doing old Norman and Breton dances, but are line dancing to a middle aged couple with a keyboard and cowboy hats... the viral infection of American corportate culture strikes again, Quel damage!
Larry

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: mousethief
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:41 AM

In the "old days" a lot of dancing was in the context of courtship. Meeting members of the opposite to potentially marry and make babies with. Sometimes in that order, sometimes in the other order. Nobody much minded the order. My wife has seen a medieval midwife's manual which states quite clearly that the gestation period for the first baby could be anywhere from one to nine months, whereas all subsequent babies take nine months. Call it hypocritical. I call it realistic and kind -- if you got a hard rule (pun intended), you find ways to bend it (ouch!).

Dancing sinful? I suppose it depends on the person. Dancing leading to lustful thoughts? Well, yes, that's the point, guvnor. Good thing, too. Show me a human being, and I'll show you somebody whose parents had lustful thoughts.

Alex

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: InOBU
Date: 18 May 01 - 10:43 AM

Gee Alex, I am afraid you have to exempt the Royals from that... they had kids for duty, or so I'm told, at least the ones they admit to! (I know, I know, to which they admit... ) Larry

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 18 May 01 - 11:13 AM

Alex - that's lovely! The bit about the gestation period of the first baby.
I refuse to believe Ian Paisley Jnr was conceived out of lust of the flesh. That bloke (who played a taperecording of "God Save the Queen" at the back of the Whitla Hall during our graduation because Queen's University stopped the use of that anthem) can only have come about through serious, solemn, dutiful and dignified sexual intercourse.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: IanC
Date: 18 May 01 - 11:17 AM

I can't help agreeing with Larry. There's probably a special place in hell for line dancers. I just hope it's not near the sword dancers & melodian players!

;-)
Ian

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: mousethief
Date: 18 May 01 - 11:18 AM

It's too bad Darwinism doesn't work a little better. Anyone who has serious, solemn, dutiful and dignified sexual intercourse shouldn't be in the gene pool at all!

Alex

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 18 May 01 - 11:34 AM

I totally agree. But I do NOT want the mental images of Mr and Mrs Paisley's marital bad in my head, so change the subject please - fast!
(Aaaargh! The images....!!!)

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: mousethief
Date: 18 May 01 - 11:40 AM

Well, could you put line dancers into one of the CIRCLES of hell? There's a geometric problem for you. Should strike a chord, if it's not too much of a tangent.

Alex

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Gervase
Date: 18 May 01 - 11:40 AM

Line Dancers damned? Bloody good idea.
But I did hear tell that it was God who invented line dancing, so that Morris Dancers would finally have something they could could take the piss out of!

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 May 01 - 11:59 AM

I always love it when people make sweeping general statements about the decisions God makes, and His view on things. It's the first clue that someone who believes in God enough to speak thusly has forgotten that God IS God-- for, a being that powerful and awesome could not possibly by summarized accurately by a human bean. Oh I do it myself-- I think we all do; but I just find it interesting how often we ALSO think that by disagreeing with someone else's sweeping statement by making one of our own, we are not being just as silly as they were.

Please do not confuse my sweeping general statement as being aimed at yourself, BTW; I'm just thinking out *loud* on a topic I have been musing about for a long time.

Me, I am figuring on a long talk when I meet up with that Really Big Guy. I hope it starts off with a mutual exploration, on the topic of, "Well, what WERE you thinking?" Oughtta be a lotta laughs in THAT chat huh?

~S~

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Marion
Date: 18 May 01 - 12:09 PM

I was brought up in a fundamentalist family where dancing was a sin - it's viewed (by the Brethren church at least) as a sort of foreplay, so dancing should only be done by married couples and in private.

In my overweight and antisocial youth, this wasn't that much of a conflict, because going to a high school dance was the last thing I would ever have wanted to do.

It created a few funny situations, though. In elementary school the dances were during the school day and were mandatory unless you had a parent's note that you couldn't go - so they would put the fundamentalist kids together in a classroom and show us a movie. During one Halloween dance, they showed us a scary vampire movie! I wonder how many fundamentalist parents found out - ours didn't. Movies were also frowned upon in my family unless they starred Julie Andrews or Billy Graham.

I've been doing some catching up in both the dancing and movie-watching departments since growing up...

Marion

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Mooh
Date: 18 May 01 - 12:43 PM

I was driving my sisters to the family cottage one time many years ago, and I believe we were talking about the things which made us feel like the family of a clergyman, which we are, and my older sister informs us that the reason that certain religious denominations don't fuck standing up is it might lead to dancing. I almost lost control of the car trying to pull over, for I was laughing so hard my eyes were full of tears.

Us Anglicans were used to having sock-hops in the parish hall. If things became carnal, we took it outside. After all, we didn't want our friends to know how inexperienced we really were.

I'm no dancer, but how can you be a musician without at least believing in dance?

Peace. Mooh.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 18 May 01 - 12:50 PM

My Gawd! I finally agree with that bloated carp Ian Paisley! Well, if the spawn of Billy Ray Cyrus (sorry Matt) and all the Riverdance crew are gonna be there, I'm really gonna make an effort to head the other way! No more jokes about crooked evangelists...I'm on my best behaviour!

Rick

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: CarolC
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:23 PM

"It's too bad Darwinism doesn't work a little better. Anyone who has serious, solemn, dutiful and dignified sexual intercourse shouldn't be in the gene pool at all! "

Sex in the gene pool! Sounds exciting!

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:26 PM

"There is currently as much evidence to support the existance of UFO's as there is to support the existance of God... which is to say, none at all!"

---George Carlin---

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: mousethief
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:27 PM

Not to Ian Paisley's parents, it wasn't.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: mousethief
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:37 PM

Ah. Theological wisdom from a comedian. Next we'll hear medical advice from a mime.

Alex

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: M.Ted
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:45 PM

Of course, the religious people who didn't believe in dancing allowed "Play Party Games" instead, which, to the untutored eye, seemed to be dances but differed in a minor but religiously significant way--I wish I could remember what it was--anybody remember?

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:47 PM

Like the other Theologians haven't been comedians?

Please...

Everything the pope has ever said has been so sad it's funny!

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: jeffp
Date: 18 May 01 - 01:53 PM

Alex, we may get medical advice from a mime, but we are extremely unlikely to hear it! LOL

jeffp

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Mooh
Date: 18 May 01 - 02:30 PM

Hey Clinton, there are those of us, some very religious, who would agree with you about the pope!

Mooh(snickering).

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: GUEST
Date: 18 May 01 - 04:29 PM

Mousethief; I'd be diametrically opposed to that!

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 May 01 - 05:22 PM

Mooh...

If you're religious you're not allowed to agree with me... That's the distinction that I make... religion uses capitol letters, is organised into teams and gangs and sects, is a fabrication of the human race especially the male 49% of the human race, has caused more suffering in the name of "Good" than any evil ever has, and has nothing to do at all with spiritual issues...

Faith on the the other hand, is deeply personal, can't possibly be organised, is difficult to even quantify, has nothing at all to do with God, and has everything to do with spiritual and moral issues...

That's why I'm adamently anti-religious and so totally turned on and sticky about faith...

(please excuse any spelling errors... my checker has apparently crashed...)

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: InOBU
Date: 18 May 01 - 05:31 PM

I am opposed to spelling... Larry

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Kim C
Date: 18 May 01 - 05:34 PM

Well, back in the old days, people danced for recreation, socialization, and exercise too. I have an 1860s dance manual (a reprint, of course) that states you should not dance with your spouse, or with the same person too many times in one evening. The purpose of a social gathering was to mix, after all. Nowadays, of course, people usually want to dance with their sweeties.

Dancing is very good for the soul. Dance away!

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: mousethief
Date: 18 May 01 - 05:36 PM

Thanks, Kim!

ClintonHammond, you're too funny. Thanks for a good laugh.

alex

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Shields Folk
Date: 18 May 01 - 06:16 PM

I'm an expert river dancer. But only from the waist up.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Lanfranc
Date: 18 May 01 - 06:34 PM

On a dusty shelf in the Dublin Museum of Anthropology, there lies a long-forgotten tome "Irish Dancing II - the use of the arms". It was hidden there by a certain fundamentalist Catholic cleric who agreed with Ian Paisley on one point of theology alone - the sinfulness of dancing.

He reasoned that if the Irish were encouraged to dance only with the lower part of their bodies and only to lively jigs and reels, they would (a) not be tempted to fondle their partners and (b) would be so knackered at the end of the dance that all they would want would be a cup of cocoa and a good night's sleep.

This became known as the "Rhythm Method" and is the only form of contraception approved by the Catholic Church.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 May 01 - 06:43 PM

Lotta funny and profound stuff both in this one......Shields Folk, I gather you are an Irish step dancer, then? LOL! Perhaps I should start a thread called
LINE DANCERS WANTED! (???ya think???)
I like talking to God, but She seldom answers directly. I've always wondered just Who people like Ian P are talking to........

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Mooh
Date: 18 May 01 - 08:11 PM

ClintonHammondSirThere. But something's wrong wrong, I do agreew with you. Maybe what I got is faith, not religionitis...or cooties...or the clap...ya supppose? Did you say God was a UFO, or was that someone else said what you said? Dancing UFO's's coming to take out that (THAT) part of my brain.

Save me. MMoh.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: marty D
Date: 18 May 01 - 08:21 PM

Hilarious! Brings back memories of Jerry Falwell's IQ-challenged flock and the "Gay" teletubbies incident, or the Pat Robertson "God's punishing homosexuals" thing.

It would be funnier still if millions (including the current administration) didn't actually respect the opinions of these jerks.

marty

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: M.Ted
Date: 18 May 01 - 08:58 PM

Jerry Falwell never actually did say anything about Tinkiwinky or any of the other Teletubbies, but the fact that he was "quoted" in the press as having done so way enough to make TW hugely popular--

Anyway--I remeber having once gone to hear the evangelist, Jack Van Impe, and part of his sermon was an extremely graphic and lurid description of the evils that took place while half-naked couples(unwed ones, at that) thrust their gyrating, pulsing hips together and apart--as I remember, the crowd was breathing pretty hard until Jack and his wife pulled out their accordians and played a few numbers--that took them out of the mood pretty fast--

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: GUEST,Pipsqueak
Date: 18 May 01 - 09:21 PM

Lanfranc .... I was believing every minute of that till you mentioned Ovaltine !!! My aunt has been trying to drag me off to line-dancing land for months, - I was running out of failsafe excuses till I read this thread ! Thanks you lot ... think I'll take a religious turn.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Fiolar
Date: 19 May 01 - 09:28 AM

Wonder if Paisley ever came across the works of the psychologist Havelock Ellis? One of his quotes is as follows. "Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself." Bigots who try to denigrate enjoyment generally hark back to the time of Cromwell who after all banned Christmas.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: GUEST,Glenbogie of Glenbogie
Date: 19 May 01 - 06:52 PM

Hands off line dancing. Its a fine activity. Best done with ear plugs and your back to the on-coming train.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: JennieG
Date: 19 May 01 - 11:46 PM

Line dancers always remind me of free-range chooks......(chickens for those of you who aren't Aussies!)
Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Fiolar
Date: 20 May 01 - 06:24 AM

To Glenbogie of Glenbogie. Nice one - He,He He.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: InOBU
Date: 20 May 01 - 10:46 AM

Glenbogi: Your comment reminds me of the comment about Gen. Westmoreland, who kept seeing a light at the end of the tunnel during Viet Nam,... there was a light... it was a frieght train ... and it's name was Thet... - Larry

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 May 01 - 11:10 AM

I gotta' start living right. I think I'm with Brother Fielding on this.............The Riverdance crew can be a pain, but I can't see spending an eternity doin' the "Boot Scootin' Boogie."

Spaw

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 01 - 03:41 PM

Most of the line dancers I know (and me) are senior citizens; perhaps its the nearest we can get to sex?

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Hollowfox
Date: 21 May 01 - 10:56 AM

If Mr. Paisley is right, I take comfort in the words of Mark Twain. "Heaven for climate, and hell for society."

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 21 May 01 - 11:32 AM

The road to Hell is apved with good intentions, so the good Dr Johnson told us. The Rev probably isn't familiar with it in that case.

I think the line dancers will probably be next to the ones who squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle--maybe the toothpaste squeezers will have to line dance their Eternity away? I think people who say "thusly" will probably get a look through the door at the line dnacers, to show them how lucky they were that bad grammar is (just about)forgivable?

Steve

And bad typing, I earnestly hope.

Subject: RE: Line Dancers Damned
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 21 May 01 - 03:10 PM

Reminds me of this variation on a joke, "Why doesn't Ian Paisley and his wife make love standing up?"

"Because it might lead to dancing."