haiku crash notices

Subject: haiku crash notices
From: GUEST,--seed (from school)
Date: 31 May 01 - 04:06 PM

I haven't been around much lately, but I thought you might appreciate the following. My niece (my nephew's exwife: their marriage crashed on the internet) sent me the following, and as I have much experience with computer crashes wiping out all my data, it seemed very close to home:

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages.

Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.

Haiku is used to communicate a timeless message often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity -- the essence of Zen:

------------------------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

-------------------------------------------

The Website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

--------------------------------------------

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

-----------------------------------------------

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

------------------------------------------------

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

--------------------------------------------------

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

---------------------------------------------------

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

---------------------------------------------------

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

--------------------------------------------------

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

-------------------------------------------------

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

---------------------------------------------------

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

---------------------------------------------------

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

---------------------------------------------------

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

---------------------------------------------------

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

--------------------------------------------------

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

--------------------------------------------------

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: JenEllen
Date: 31 May 01 - 04:10 PM

HOWLING!! ...ah, thanks.

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: jeffp
Date: 31 May 01 - 04:14 PM

My screen is so wet
Hot chocolate covers it
Mudcat strikes again!

jeffp

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 May 01 - 04:36 PM

...seed, planted long time
Sprouts, again, for us to see
Gosh I've missed you luv!

Thanks for those!!! And, it is GOOD to see you!!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 31 May 01 - 04:56 PM

Behold! Thread-Slayer
Master of language arcane
He walks among us

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: hesperis
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 01:00 AM

Where are these from? Are they copyrighted? Alas, I know not...

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: hesperis
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 01:06 AM

Sorry, I was laughing so hard I forgot the br tags.

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: Chip2447
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 02:33 AM

Pride and joy of Bill
there are countless millions who
can not do Windows.

Your five thousand buck
machine can't play a simple
fifty dollar game.

My name is Bill Gates
I have all of the money
you need to upgrade

You're motherboard is
not optimized to use
this application

Your hard drive is full
and your cd rom is bad
an impending crash

Your computer is
about to lock itself up
control alt delete

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: GUEST,--seed
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 03:14 AM

once a Mudcat freak,
tripping on eBay of late--
quickly going broke

kat and Leej and all
caught up in this haiku thing
Mudcat flying still

B.S. piling deep
conscience must be fast asleep
please don't wake him up

--seed

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: Philibuster
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 04:39 AM

Insomniac posting,
Mocking of rich Microsoft hack,
Phils too tired to laugh.

And some more on the 'Cat.

Spaw's obsession,
Yeast detritis from far away lands,
Marmite or Vegemite?

Folkies from all over,
Gather at the Mudcat Cafe,
You spell culture shock?

Philibuster, who like
His sanity, is going to bug
In a few minutes.

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: LR Mole
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 11:10 AM

Quickie haiku gauge:
Melody fits first three lines,
"Moonlight In Vermont".

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: Kim C
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 04:13 PM

I have read these lines Many times and do not think Copyright exists

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: harpmolly
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 04:23 PM

Laughing fit to burst! Must forward to IT guy-- He could use a laugh.

I love this! :D

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: harpmolly
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 04:27 PM

dammit! I'll never remember those damn br tags :(

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 05:12 PM

There's more, from an earlier thread. Click this for COMPUTER HAIKUS.

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: mousethief
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 05:36 PM

FUNNY LITTLE POEMS
MUST TRY TO WRITE one myself
#&@#$*## capslock!

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: SDShad
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 06:22 PM

And, as someone pointed out in the thread linked to above, these particular haikus do in fact have authors; someone meticulously removed all their names before sending them out on the never-ending chainmail grapevine. Thanks for posting them, seed; I loved 'em. But let's give credit where due; I thought I'd go ahead and post the link to Salon given in the other thread, so that people can read these marvelous haikus from their original source.

Chris

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: Chicken Charlie
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 06:30 PM

In the soft breezes, Cherry blossoms are falling. Hard drive was erased.

CC

Subject: RE: haiku crash notices
From: hesperis
Date: 01 Jun 01 - 07:48 PM

Thanks, SDShad!!!

I want to use some of these instead of 404 messages on my site. They're just too cool!