|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Mrs.Duck Date: 07 Jun 01 - 06:41 PM Legless and happy Micca! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Micca Date: 07 Jun 01 - 06:34 PM Hell Jane whats the matter with you Ducks!!!!! both have dodgy ankles!!!!, I will stick with the greek philosophers.. Dodgy knees, hope you are well soon.. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Linda Kelly Date: 07 Jun 01 - 06:23 PM Naemanson -are you going to rename the group Roll & Going Going Gone? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Lanfranc Date: 07 Jun 01 - 06:01 PM Yes |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Mrs.Duck Date: 07 Jun 01 - 06:00 PM This is getting ridiculous!!!!!!!!No not the thread although it could be said.....No believe it or not I went to stand up after lunch hour(AKA10 mins) today and there was a loud click and my ankle stopped working!!!!!!Driving home was interesting -I could move forwards but stopping was agony!! Are all Mudcatters prone to being legless!! Mrs Lameduck |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Tig Date: 07 Jun 01 - 05:36 PM Well at least the return of your missing tankard should make life easier to find a receptical for solace. Remember Gail is too little for pints of cider yet - how about starting her with shorts? My Mum was advised by her doctor to start my brother with a spot of whisky when he was only a couple of weeks old!!!!!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: gnu Date: 07 Jun 01 - 12:57 PM Reader's Digest version... Man wants scary pet like big bad dog or snake to scare wife's suspected boyfriend when he's out of town. Petshop owner suggests smartest parrot in world because this parrot can tell him what went on while out of town. But parrot is on table, not on perch because he has no legs. Man takes parrot home and strategically places parrot on couch. When he returns from out of town, he asks parrot... Well ? That guy was here. What happened ? They started kissing on the couch. What happened then ? He started rubbing her breasts and putting his hand up her skirt. What Happened then ? He took off her blouse started kissing her breasts ? What happened then ? I don't know.... I popped a hardon and rolled off the couch. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Naemanson Date: 07 Jun 01 - 11:41 AM We (Roll & Go) were schooner carolling and I injured it jumping from one ship to another. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Noreen Date: 07 Jun 01 - 09:29 AM Keep that leg up Micca, and get learning those words! Hope the pain's diminishing too. Good luck, Brett... but you have to explain about the foolish folk music accident ! :0) Noreen |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Naemanson Date: 07 Jun 01 - 09:15 AM Love the jokes. I screwed up (re-injured) my own knee last weekend and am planning to go to Mystic this weekend. Wish me luck! My original injury occurred in a foolish folk music accident. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: hesperis Date: 07 Jun 01 - 09:01 AM ...butt of course, as soon as the guy said that, he was in a lot of pain... Thanks, Spaw! I am LMAO -oops... LOL! I mean LOL! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Micca Date: 07 Jun 01 - 06:39 AM For those kind friends who contributed to this thread and wished me better and shared Jokes etc...Well, I have seen the Doctor this morning 2 weeks, at least, of rest and Gentle exercise!!!! SHEEEESH!!! Still maybe a chance to learn/write some songs..it is an ill wind....( not including you Spaw, youres ARE just ill winds...) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: catspaw49 Date: 05 Jun 01 - 11:36 AM So the guy goes into the pet store and sees this parrot looking bird, but it's the ugliest and most disgusting looking bird he's ever seen. The feathers are ragged looking and all in dull shades and it seems to have eyes that are two different colors and completely evil looking. The beak was huge and hooked but had a strange twist in it and the edge seemed to serrated. Staring at it, mouth agape, he was approached by the store owner and asked if he needed assistance. "Yeah," he said. "Tell me, just what the hell kind of bird is that?" The owner sighed and said it was a parrot, but some kind of mutant strain that he was unfamiliar with, so in the store they just called it a "Crunchy Bird." "What?" replied the customer, "You've got to be kidding." The proprietor again sighed and said, "I'll show you." with that, he turned to this hideous looking bird and said, "Crunchy Bird......Chair." In a nanosecond the bird flew over and landed on a nearby chair and with blinding speed, devoured it, leaving only a pile of sawdust. "Ho-leee Shit!!!" gasped the astonished customer. "Yeah, that's about it," said the owner and then said, "Crunchy Bird......Table." Again the bird flew over and with the same speed, completely destroyed the table. "I GOTTA' HAVE IT!!!!" screamed the customer with a huge grin on his face. The owner was appalled as no one had ever expressed any interest after seeing the bird in action, as if it's looks weren't bad enough. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth though, he said, "Sold!......But I gotta' ask you why in the world you'd want a bird like this?" The customer gave him a smile and said................ "I'm gonna' take that ugly SOB home and my wife will ask, 'What the hell is it?'.........And when I tell her, she's gonna' say, "Crunchy Bird? Crunchy Bird my ass!" Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Les from Hull Date: 05 Jun 01 - 11:10 AM Micca's Tankard = Mcat cask drain or Drama - Cats nick! or Mcat arid snack |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Tig Date: 05 Jun 01 - 07:03 AM But I understand the tankard is STILL walkabout ..... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Les from Hull Date: 05 Jun 01 - 06:44 AM Sorry to hear about your L-I-M-P (pronounced limp). The only sure cure is to rub it with cider, but the cider must be in a stainless steel tankard. Have you got that? - stainless steel tankard. Oh well, never mind.
Hope your better soon |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Banjer Date: 05 Jun 01 - 06:43 AM Back to Pete's Pre-Owned Parrot Parlor for another story. Yet another lady, wanting a pet that didn't require a lot of upkeep sucha as a dog, asked the owner if he had anything that would suit her needs. He advised that he had a parrot that had come to him from a house of ill repute and may say things that could be offensive to her tender ears. She said she would like to try him for a week with the condition that she could return it if he became a problem. Once home tthe parrot looked at his new surroundings and proclaimed 'New house, new madam, awk'. The lady thinks taht was not bad! A while later the ladies daughters return home from school to be greeted by the parrot, 'Awk..New house, new madam, new girls, Awk'. The ladies decide that if that is the worst the parrot can do he can stay. Later that day the man of the house returns from work. The bird sees him come in the door and greets him with, 'Hi, Fred, how ya been?' |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 05 Jun 01 - 06:29 AM How chemists do it...
Chemists do it reactively.
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 05 Jun 01 - 05:45 AM Sorry to hear about the knee. I don't know anything about sprains - so I am not much use to you there. I don't know ant jokes at the moment, so I'll nip outside for some "fesh air" and see if any of my work mates know any and I'll post them - ok love Patrish |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Gervase Date: 05 Jun 01 - 04:46 AM Does this mean that the offending knee is now under wraps? In other words, that the offensive weapon hereinafter referred to as "the kilt" will not be making an appearance at Towersey? Allah be praised - it's an ill wind etc...! Good luck - knees is delicate things. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Bill D Date: 04 Jun 01 - 07:36 PM seems that pet shop owner had cornered the market on used parrots....why, not too long after the above ^, a society matorn went in and was quite taken with a beautiful, rare parrot. "Does it talk?", she asked. "Yes, very bright bird", says the owner, "but it did live the past 20 years in ummm...well, a house of "ill-repute" "Oh, my," says the matron, "he dosen't swear, does he? I have a friend who had resort to VERY serious measures to stop the parrot you sold her from using bad language!" "Oh, no, ma'm,...this parrot lived in a VERY high class place...I assure you, he doesn't swear." So, she buys the parrot, and decides to show it off at her big society party that night. She covers the cage, and at the height of the party, calls for attention and announces to the swanky assemblage that she has JUST acquired a lovely, rare new parrot....and proceeds to uncover the cage. The parrot blinks...looks her in the eye and says...."Awwwrrrkkk, a new Madam!"... He turns and eyes the society ladies where their gossip had been interrupted and says..."Awwrrkkkk, new girls, too!" Then he stares, as only a parrot can do, at the men clustered around the bar... "Awwwrrkkk...but the same old customers!" (and then, I presume, he went into the freezer with the chicken...or maybe the husbands went into the freezer) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Mountain Dog Date: 04 Jun 01 - 07:10 PM Another parrot joke (which your little green friend on your shoulder may not thoroughly appreciate...) An elderly woman went to the pet shop to buy a talking parrot. She spied a beautiful specimen preening itself on a perch toward the back of the shop and asked the shop owner, "Young man, does that parrot talk?" The shop owner looked a bit sheepish and replied, "Well, lady, yes he does. But to be completely honest with you, I don't know that you'd be happy with him. You see, he was owned by an old sailor who had...well, let's just say he had a filthy mouth." The woman moved spryly past the slightly blushing shop owner and fixed her stare on the gimlet-eyed bird. "Hello?" she coaxed. The bird regarded her coolly for a moment, and then responded, "Hello, madam!" Charmed, the elderly woman clapped her hands and whisked the bird home post-haste. No sooner was the bird ensconced in its new home, than it loosed a string of profanity that turned the air a stunning shade of blue. Instantly, the woman whipped a black cover over the bird's cage and waited several minutes before raising it again. This time the bird emitted a barrage of obscenity that bid fair to blister the wallpaper and shatter the good crystal. In a flash, the woman thrust her hand into the cage, snatched up the fulminating bird and jammed it into the freezer compartment of her refrigerator without a word. She retrieved the animal about an hour later and placed it back in its cage to thaw. Eventually, the wide-eyed bird regained the power of movement and climbed warily to its perch. The woman fixed her eye on the parrot's and said, "Hello?" The still-shivering bird turned his head slightly, averting his gaze, and replied, "Hi, lady." "Pretty Polly?," asked the woman, her eyebrows arched meaningfully. "Anything you say, lady," replied the abashed bird. "I just got one question...What the %)#*$? did that poor chicken say to you?!?" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Jande Date: 04 Jun 01 - 06:05 PM Hi Micca! Sorry to hear about your knee! I second the advice about arnica cream. I use it for every kind of muscle ache/pain. I was flat on my back ill with allergies for a number of years, so part of my recovery included recovering the use of my muscles. I took up the game of Squash and found that my knees just wouldn't work well and gave me a LOT of pain as if they'd been strained. So I got me a pair of those knee support elastics and wore them day in and day out for about six months I think, and rubbed the knees with arnica creme (Thompson's brand in the health food stores in Canada)a couple of times a day. The pain went away early, but I kept the treatment up until I could play a fifty-minute game of squash three or four times a week while wearing the supports, for the last two years I've been able to play this long without the supports. I also do a lot of creative dancing these days. Good luck, Micca! ~ Jande
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Mrs.Duck Date: 04 Jun 01 - 05:40 PM and I want to hold the camera !!:) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Jun 01 - 05:35 PM If there is any amputation to be done, I WANT TO HOLD THE KNIFE!!! LTS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: paddymac Date: 04 Jun 01 - 05:15 PM I spent the whole day feeling sorry for you, only to find out it's just a knee problem. I'd suggest a wee drop of the crature, frequently, until you stop feeling sorry for yerself. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Tig Date: 04 Jun 01 - 03:58 PM Can't trust some people to behave! Will send lots of healing hugs (so don't fight them!!!!). Just because you saw all the attention Geoff the Duck got for a poorly ankle didn't mean you had to go one better. Hope it feels better soon. John Henry (Chester City Morris) did his ankle in at the weekend and within 3 days of arnica says it's tons better so try that. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Diva Date: 04 Jun 01 - 03:22 PM Shame its not the panto season...you and the parrot could have got some good gigs. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Noreen Date: 04 Jun 01 - 03:21 PM Ickle Dorritt, you are a very astute woman... How did you know what Liz and I were planning????? Hope you get better soon, micca.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: GUEST,Margaret V at work Date: 04 Jun 01 - 03:11 PM Micca, I'm so sorry to hear about your injury! Here's the only advice this pushy New Yorker can give: call the doctor's office and press them HARD for an appointment sooner than Thursday. It seems preposterous to have to wait so long when such a fragile body part is concerned. Can't you raise a fuss? Or just show up and camp out in the office groaning until they take you in? Best wishes for a full recovery, Margaret |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: hesperis Date: 04 Jun 01 - 03:02 PM Alfalfa is good for helping rebuild cartilege, take either tea, or capsules. I had a knee injury a few years ago and it helped. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Linda Kelly Date: 04 Jun 01 - 02:50 PM If all else fails, Noreen and LTS will hold you down and I will amputate using a VERY BIG KNIFE....... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: mousethief Date: 04 Jun 01 - 01:57 PM Well, I can't say anything to the Parrot question. If the limpness continues, definitely talk to your doctor. With the new medicines (like Viagra) on the market, there's no need to stay limp for long. Did you hear the one about the two guys on crutches? There were these two guys on crutches in a small town somewhere in the heartland. One guy had a brown shirt, and one guy had a blue shirt. They meet out in front of a grocery store, and start comparing injuries. Before long, one of them challenges the other to a crutch-race. They get the barrista at the coffee stand to agree to referree, and they line up in front of the stand. One lap around the grocery store, and whoever reaches the coffee stand again last has to buy the other a latte. So the barrista says "Go!" and they're off. They are thumping down the straitaway, toward the first corner. They take the corner and are now racing down the side of the store. People on the sidewalk start cheering, some for the one guy, and some for the other. Now they're headed for the second turn. The guy in the brown shirt has about a five-foot lead on the guy in the blue shirt, as they hit the turn. Just around the corner, however, is a huge truck (lorry) unloading groceries at the store's loading dock. "Truck!" yells the guy in the brown shirt, just before he slams into the grille and slumps to the ground. The guy in the blue shirt heard the other guy's shout, and the THUMP! which followed it, and so he slowed down, and avoided hitting the truck. He crutched on over to his opponent, and said, "Is there anything I can do to help?" Just then the truck starts up, and the two men hear the brakes release. "Um, yeah, stop the truck!" says the guy in the brown shirt, who is still lying in front of it. "Hey! Stop the truck!" yells the guy in the blue shirt, "My pal's in front of it and can't get up!" But the trucker can't hear him over the roar of the engine. He puts the truck in gear and starts to roll forward. The guy in the brown shirt gets an idea, and flings one of his crutches into the air. The trucker sees it, and stops the truck. He gets out of the cab, and rushes out to see what has happened. Okay, imagine what it looks like for the trucker -- there's a guy in front of his truck, lying on the ground, with one crutch near him; the other has flown up into the air! "Oh my God!" he says, "Are you okay?!" The guy with the blue shirt appears around the corner of the truck, dragging the other guy's crutch (the one he threw) with him. The guy in the brown shirt sees what has happened, and what the trucker THINKS has happened, and thinks to make some quick cash out of this. "I'll sue!" he yells. "I'll sue you for every penny you're worth!" The trucker throws up his hands, climbs back up into the truck, and starts to inch forward again. "What are you doing?!" yells the guy in the blue shirt. "Well, if I'm going to get sued anyway," says the trucker, "I might as well get some enjoyment out of it!" The guy in the brown shirt, however, manages to pull himself out from in front of the truck, and yells up at the driver, "Are you crazy?!" "Well," the trucker says, "At least I didn't slam into a parked truck on crutches!" Moral: Never let Alex/Mousethief start telling a really long story. Bwahahaha. Alex |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Micca Date: 04 Jun 01 - 01:54 PM Thanks, all for the messages, I suspect the absence of the tankard (aka The Holy Grail) is the root cause of all the problems!!!!!! For the prurient, I had pulled a calf muscle earlier in the week and rested the leg,( and Spaw, there is nothing quite like resting your leg!!!) I was on a train and reached for something on the overhead luggage rack and suddenly my leg would not support me,it was like wet spaghetti. I borrowed a mobile from a fellow passenger and was met by friends and carted off to Casualty(see above) but what caused it..? your guess is as good as mine, it could as easily be turning over in bed akwardly.. as standing crooked, but I blame the absence of the tankard and the restoring properties of Cider..Many thanks for the suggestions, I am taking analgesics, supplied by the Hospital and am removing the knee support to see how it does..Many thanks |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Fortunato Date: 04 Jun 01 - 01:38 PM Micca, I'm sorry you've blown out you knee. I've ruined both of mine, but some things help. I agree with the just above advice of elevation and ice and analgesics. I like naproxen, if you can get your doc to prescribe it. But I highly recommend Glucosamine to help rebuild the cartilege. It really makes a difference for me. Hope you're on your feet soon. All the best, Chance.
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: catspaw49 Date: 04 Jun 01 - 01:25 PM You're worried about your knee being limp? Fuck that....who cares? Now if we're talking vital organs here............. (You've already got the best advice I could give.....Score some good drugs) Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: DougR Date: 04 Jun 01 - 01:15 PM You have an eye patch? If you're getting a parrot, you've got to have a eye patch too! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Mrs.Duck Date: 04 Jun 01 - 01:10 PM RICE is no longer recommended. The current medical advice is rest, elevation, ice and analgesia. Apparently compression can cause more problems than it solves-so NO bandages! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Linda Kelly Date: 03 Jun 01 - 05:21 PM Bloody hell Micca I didn't even know you had knees! during this period of enforced relaxation I recommend you do something useful like taking up knitting - I expect o see the results at Towersey! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Dave the Gnome Date: 03 Jun 01 - 04:22 PM Was it anything to do with the missing tankard? Or more to do with the missing cider??? Commiserations anyway, pal. Hope it don't affect the festival season too much:-( DtG |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Amergin Date: 03 Jun 01 - 04:15 PM like wear kneepads next time? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Sorcha Date: 03 Jun 01 - 03:59 PM I'm waiting for Spaw to check in about Micca's being limp.....I'm sure he'll have some sage advice!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Penny S. Date: 03 Jun 01 - 03:19 PM Try these sites for a very bright parrot
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~jel/video/alex.html http://www.azstarnet.com/nonprofit/alexfoundation/ http://www.johmann.net/commentary/parrot.html http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Prairie/9935/alex.html Penny |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: alison Date: 03 Jun 01 - 03:08 PM I take that back.. well a bit anyway.. its ice for more than 10 min that increases the swelling........ but its still too late for compression... but one of those support thingies will help...... you know the sort you get for tennis elbow... (obviously you'll need one for a knee.... hahaha)... stop you doing more damage... slainte alison |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Jeri Date: 03 Jun 01 - 03:06 PM Kat's got it right with the RICE. You want to keep the swelling down, and heat is BAD for that. S'ok after the initial inflamation though. I've torn ligaments and cartilage. I was once told in an ER that I had sprained my knee, but done no serious damage. It turned out I had completely torn the ACL (anterior cruciate ligament), torn a bit of cartilage and wound up having surgery to replace the ACL and fix the cartilage. Jeri's basic advice: if it feels wobbly instead of stiff, get your doctor to torture you some more. Note that in my case, the diagnosis/assessment by the ER docs had absolutly nothing to do with the outcome - I just would have known about it earlier. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: alison Date: 03 Jun 01 - 03:01 PM compression won't work at this stage.. it only works at the time.... and if you leave it on for more than 10 mins or so you get more swelling because of lymphatic involvement (thats what I was taught at sports injuries anyway)......... so just rest and take up knitting...... watch Neighbours.... *grin* slainte alison |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: hesperis Date: 03 Jun 01 - 02:50 PM Hawk says to ask the Monty python crew about parrots. Especially cheap ones. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Banjer Date: 03 Jun 01 - 01:56 PM Doc, it hurts when I do this.... Then don't do that! Best advice usually comes from a doctor as the above sample illustrates. Other than that, do as Kat says with her RICE info....keep us posted and good luck! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: Amergin Date: 03 Jun 01 - 01:43 PM so what were you doing that you sprained your knee? or do you know? me, i can barely move my thumb this morning.....have no idea what happened..... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Miccas gone limp From: katlaughing Date: 03 Jun 01 - 01:41 PM What's that old first aid acronym? Oh, RICE, that's it: Rest: Do not exercise the injured area or perform any movement that causes pain. Ice: Apply a bag filled with crushed ice three to four times a day for no longer than 20 minutes each time. Compression: Wrap an elastic bandage snugly around the injured area. (In your case, Micca, be very careful with this. Not TOO tight and check frquently for circulation.) Elevation: Raise the injured limb higher than the heart and keep it elevated until the pain diminishes. I know you've got a gazillion old movies on tape, so...lots of things to watch, write, read, learn new parodies or write some, surf the 'Net, have a friend over, phone a friend, or just hang out here with us.:-) Take it easy...this will be a piece of cake compared to staying down after surgery last year. luvyakat |
