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Subject: Blowing in the wind... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 08 Jun 01 - 09:53 PM Just in case you missed these news items:
Eight detectives will face a disciplinary hearing after one of them allegedly farted in front of a family during a raid, Scotland Yard said yesterday...
Australian scientists are to vaccinate sheep and cattle against a condition that does them no harm but does threaten the planet - flatulence... For the rest of the stories click here for the Guardian version.
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: catspaw49 Date: 08 Jun 01 - 10:44 PM .........uh,oh...........I could be in big trouble here............ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 09 Jun 01 - 05:02 PM Think of these stories as a kind of bizarre birthday present, spaw... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Clinton Hammond Date: 09 Jun 01 - 05:14 PM Those are 2 of the stupidest things I've EVER read!?!?! Do people really believe that cow farts are heating up the planet?!?!?! and to the family complaining... I'd crap on their front step by way of addressing their complaint! idiots... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 09 Jun 01 - 05:30 PM I get this image of a bizarre identification parade to sniff out the offending copper. Inspector Clouseau stuff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 09 Jun 01 - 06:16 PM If my recollection is correct, you wrote elsewhere about crapping on peoples property as a form of expression, Clinton. Is this a fettish or are you an artist of sorts? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 09 Jun 01 - 06:43 PM Ain't it funny how our ol' flat earth spins round. Seems like only yesterday Roman Doctor Oribasios was recommending a diet of peas and broad beans to Emperor Julian to increase the emperor's flatulance and thereby make him more amorous. Well, it might have been about 350AD. www.swan.ac.uk/classics/staff/ter/grst/People/Oribasius.htm |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 10 Jun 01 - 06:43 PM Blow me, there's no limit to what you can find on the net isn't there? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 11 Jun 01 - 12:06 AM This cow flatulance danger has been put forth by some vegetarians. People far outnumber cows, therefore we are the more dangerous... Is it true that in old etiquette books it said that if a lady broke wind, the nearest gentleman should say excuse me? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: mkebenn Date: 11 Jun 01 - 12:11 AM I somehow don't see the LAPD or the NYPD worring too much about farting, I mean, COME ON! Mike |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 11 Jun 01 - 12:16 AM Perhaps it's a cultural thing but saying 'Blow me' in public is considered bad form in Canada. I didn't find the information on the web. I found it in recent bathroom reading and went to the web to find proof of concept. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Gervase Date: 11 Jun 01 - 02:03 AM When I was a youngster we believed that the Queen had an official apologiser, who would traipse a few paces behind Her Maj. Every time she dropped one, the apologiser would have to cough quietly and say: "Terribly sorry, ma'am". We reckoned it was a crappy job - after all, you couldn't keep it for long. Once the next lot of invitations came around to Buck House, there would be a little scrawl on the bottom: "Would be gr8 to CU and Phil the Greek, but don't bring that farting oaf again, there's a luv - he made the place pen and ink something chronic." What is it about farting and the royals, though? Kaiser Bill was apparently obsessed with farting and bottom jokes, while a courtier at the court of Good Queen Bess is said to have gone into self-imposed exile for years after farting in front of the Queen (...sorry, didn't know it was her turn - very old joke!). When he finally re-appeared all those years later, the first thing Betsy said to him was: "Worry not, Sir Philip; we have quite forgot the fart!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Lyndi-loo Date: 11 Jun 01 - 04:07 AM The farting policemen were on a drugs raid. The story goes that the sniffer dog keeled over! Then there's the story of the duchess who farted at a dinner party; she turned to the footman standing behind her and said "Stop that at once!" and the footman replied "Certainly Ma'am , which way did it go?" LL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Donuel Date: 11 Jun 01 - 08:03 AM Due to the 5 ruminating stomachs of a cow, methane production vastly exceeds a human output. The unlikely creature that collectively out performs cattle is the termite. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Steveie1 Date: 11 Jun 01 - 08:08 AM Given the number of Cows in the world, come to think of, people and other farting animals would it not make sense to find a way of collecting the gas and using it as fuel? Because of the diet I am on I could possibly save 50% on my gas bill. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 11 Jun 01 - 02:52 PM I keep hearing about cows and methane output. What are the data supporting the effect on global warming of this? Not hearsay but a comparative scientific report. With billions of humans, I doubt that cattle have the numbers to outperform humans. Some work has been done on insects, but here again, what are the population estimates and the math? Should we eliminate insects too? Man probably ate out the mammoth, horse and some other large mammels in North America. Now we raise cattle, pigs (any data here?), etc. since Man has had animal protein as a large part of his diet for a very long time. Just sign me Carnivore born and bred. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 11 Jun 01 - 03:17 PM Like McGrath of Harlow, I remember when Blow Me! meant it knocks me over (something surprising), not a particular act. Flattop should look up the many meanings of blow. Also in Canada. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 12 Jun 01 - 01:04 AM 'Blow' has lots of range but 'blow me' has limited meaning in Canada. Also Dicho, Bertrand Russel pointed out that when we can check the veracity on claims ourselves, we should not rely on others' beliefs. All you need to do is stick your head up a cows arse to get wind of the matter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: CarolC Date: 12 Jun 01 - 01:14 AM Checked it out for yourself, did you, flattop? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: thosp Date: 12 Jun 01 - 01:24 AM well President Bush says he is now concerned about the effect of cow farts on the enviorment but does not believe that the government should intervean and that the cows should be left to control their own farts --- or at most should be studied further peace (Y) thosp |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: GUEST,CLETUS Date: 12 Jun 01 - 01:37 AM Flattop alwuz bin a feller whut liked to poke hiz nose inta thangs so I reckon he dun it fer hisself Carol. Heze also reel sensitive actin bout the blow stuff cuz one day in hi skule he spillt summa thet green shavin loshun on hiz nuts inna locker room an wuzza dancin round a screemin "Blow me" an sum uther feller did. I reckon heeda be feelin differnt like iffen heed bin inna girlz locker room. CLETUS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 12 Jun 01 - 01:44 AM Don't worry CLETUS, we have enough cows to go around. Well licked chickens and embarassed sheep too, if you ask Duckboots. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 12 Jun 01 - 01:53 AM 'Blowed up' can be good if it's a stump and not a daycare center, 'blow some smoke' can be ok, 'blow me' usually indelicate. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: CarolC Date: 12 Jun 01 - 02:03 AM 'Blowed up' flattop? I think I can hear the Orillia Grammar Police sirens approaching from the north... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 12 Jun 01 - 06:46 AM Actually, that is Orillian, 'She runned good until she blowed up.' It's the come-from-away Orillians who mangle the grammar with petty properisms. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 12 Jun 01 - 06:54 AM Are there more cattle in US now than there used to be bison pre-Coumbus? Did bison farts have the same effect- ie has it got worse from animals, we know pollution from industrial means have increaed. Did dinosaurs fart methane? I ask these questions of Professor Mudcat merely in the cause of scientific enquiry, you understand! RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Jun 01 - 07:20 AM Geeziz Skiff, maybe that's what killed the dinosaurs! Not the climatic change from the methane, but instead a one in a billion chance "group fart" from a herd of brachiosaurs knocked the earth off it's axis! This would also account for why everytime Neil rips one he points his ass to the north.........I mean it's either that or simply because he's a Canadian. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 12 Jun 01 - 07:23 AM Dinosaurs were never rude. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Lyndi-loo Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:39 AM Perhaps y'all would do well to read this Methane production by ruminants: its contribution to global warming Moss AR, Jouany JP, Newbold J ANNALES DE ZOOTECHNIE 49 (3): 231-253 MAY-JUN 2000 Abstract: The aim of this paper is to review the role of methane in the global warming scenario and to examine the contribution to atmospheric methane made by enteric fermentation, mainly by ruminants. Agricultural emissions of methane in the EU-15 have recently been estimated at 10.2 million tonnes per year and represent the greatest source. Of these, approximately two-thirds come from enteric fermentation and one-third from livestock manure. Fermentation of feeds in the rumen is the largest source of methane from enteric fermentation and this paper considers in detail the reasons for, and the consequences of, the fact that the molar percentage of the different volatile fatty acids produced during fermentation influences the production of methane in the rumen. Acetate and butyrate promote methane production while propionate formation can be considered as a competitive pathway for hydrogen use in the rumen. The many alternative approaches to reducing methane are considered, both in terms of reduction per animal and reduction per unit of animal product. It was concluded that the most promising areas for future research for reducing methanogenesis are the development of new products/delivery systems for anti-methanogenic compounds or alternative electron accepters in the rumen and reduction in protozoal numbers in the rumen. It is also stressed that the reason ruminants are so important to mankind is that much of the world's biomass is rich in fibre. They can convert this into high quality protein sources (i.e. meat and milk) for human consumption and this will need to be balanced against the concomitant production of methane. Author Keywords: methane, ruminants, global warning, reduction strategies Identification of gases responsible for the odour of human flatus and evaluation of a device purported to reduce this odour Suarez FL, Springfield J, Levitt MD GUT 43 (1): 100-104 JUL 1998 Abstract: Background/Aims-While the social significance of flatus derives mainly from its odour, previous studies have focused on the non-odoriferous components of rectal gas. The aims of the present study were to determine the role of sulphur-containing gases in flatus odour and test the efficacy produced of a device purported to reduce this odour. Methods-Flatus was quantitatively col-methyl dis lected via rectal tube from 16 healthy subjects who ingested pinto beans and lactulose to enhance flatus output. The concentrations of sulphur-containing gases in each passage were correlated with odour intensity assessed by two judges. Odour intensity was also determined after treatment of flatus samples with zinc acetate, which binds sulphydryl compounds (hydrogen sulphide and methanethiol), or activated charcoal. Utilising gastight Mylar pantaloons, the ability of a charcoal lined cushion to adsorb sulphur-containing gases instilled at the anus of eight subjects was assessed. Results-The main sulphur-containing flatus component was hydrogen sulphide (1.06 (0.2) mu mol/l), followed by methanethiol (0.21 (0.04) mu mol/l) and dimethyl sulphide (0.08 (0.01) mu mol/l) (means (SEM)). Malodour significantly correlated with hydrogen sulphide concentration (p less than or equal to 0.001). Zinc acetate reduced sulphur gas content but did not totally eliminate odour, while activated charcoal removed virtually all odour. The cushion adsorbed more than 90% of the sulphur gases. Conclusion-Sulphur-containing gases are the major, but not the only, malodorous components of human flatus. The charcoal lined cushion effectively limits the escape of these sulphur-containing gases into the environment. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:43 AM Somehow I don't think mine have a charcoal lined cushion................. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: CarolC Date: 12 Jun 01 - 12:28 PM "The concentrations of sulphur-containing gases in each passage were correlated with odour intensity assessed by two judges. AAAaaaakkkkkk!!!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 12 Jun 01 - 12:49 PM Gee! All this chat really blows me. Dicho in Canada. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: gnu Date: 12 Jun 01 - 04:22 PM Blow Me Down, a town in Newfoundland, is aptly named for the seaman's description of a wind of the North Atlantic that would knock you off the deck of a ship and down into the deeps. There's lots to work with, there. Go ahead. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 12 Jun 01 - 04:43 PM Lyndi-Loo, thanks for the ZOOTECHNIE abstract. It indicates that feed control or other methods could be developed to reduce methane production. The abstract also points out that livestock are an important producer of protein. Most vegetarians or global warming nuts (not the scientists, whatever the causes, global warming is a fact) only point with horror to the quantity of methane cited, and not put it in context to the rest of the methane producers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: CarolC Date: 12 Jun 01 - 05:05 PM I've been a vegetarian for thirty years. I know quite a few vegetarians. This is the first discussion I've gotten into about the subject of cow farts. You must hang out with a strange bunch of veggies, Dicho. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 12 Jun 01 - 05:35 PM Carol, all I know about vegetarians is what I read in the paper. They are always quoted as saying the sky is falling. I am in cattle country. I heered tell the locals throw vegetarians in with the mash as supplemental feed for their livestock. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 13 Jun 01 - 11:29 AM At least these didn't fart! (for transatlantic readers she was a school crossing warden, lollipop for the round sign on a pole they stop the traffic with) Rude awakening for lollipop lady Police officers have apologised for smashing down a lollipop lady's door in a dawn raid that went wrong. Ruth Cotton was having an early morning cup of tea and a cigarette when officers rammed through the double-glazed front door of her home in Kirkby, Merseyside.
But the team, who were looking for suspected drug dealers, were supposed to be targeting the house next door in the raid at 0630BST on Tuesday.
A Merseyside Police spokesman said officers had apologised to Mrs Cotton, 53, and her husband, Brian, and would meet the cost of repairing the door. RtS
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 13 Jun 01 - 03:05 PM At least these didn't fart! I bet they did. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Gervase Date: 14 Jun 01 - 05:57 AM It's not just herbivores who fart. My cat is a particularly windy little bugger (and particularly noisome - some of the nastiest farts I've ever known; and this from a man who's actually driven himself coughing and retching from a phone-box before. Don't believe that old Swedish proverb about every man always loving the smell of his own farts.) Bloody hell, this is a strange place. Where else do farts and fundementalism take up so much space? Time to resurrect that wonderful word apopathuramai again |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 14 Jun 01 - 08:27 AM I was once eating this woman when she let out an earsplitting fart. She didn't say much – simply giggled. She was a carnivore. The last I heard of her she had married an accountant. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Mark Cohen Date: 14 Jun 01 - 06:10 PM Flattop, that story will definitely win some kind of award at the next conversation-stoppers competition. But I was actually going to turn this into a musical thread, with a round that I learned from Lani Herrmann of California: I sat next to the Duchess at tea It was worse than I thought it would be Her rumblings abdominal Were simply phenomenal And everyone thought it was me (There's also another (inferior) version for those pedants who object to the improper case of the personal pronoun...) Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Ebbie Date: 15 Jun 01 - 02:07 AM As that Zootechnie article implied, I believe that most of the methane produced by a cow or other ruminant comes to the surface, so to speak, when the animal 'burps' up a cud for re-chewing. If you have ever been close enough to its mouth to smell the gas when it happened, you'll know what I mean. Some of you may have heard/read of the phenomenon of lighting the gas from a stuck distended stomach ('stuck' as in pierced). It's very real. Sometimes when veterinarians performed the minor surgery they went the extra step for the benefit of awestricken children. Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Lyndi-loo Date: 15 Jun 01 - 04:16 AM Yes, I've heard of cases of farm buildings being burned down as a result of vets showing off and lighting the gas from a pierced abdomen. I believe the gas under pressure can throw a flame up to thirty metres. Is this apocryphal? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Ebbie Date: 15 Jun 01 - 01:37 PM Lyndi-loo, I would hope that it wouldn't be a vet but rather a half-grown youngster that would risk lighting the gas inside a building. I don't know how far the flame would go but 150 feet or more sounds definitely apocryphal. What I have heard of was perhaps 3.5 feet, although I imagine the end tip of the flame would not be visible. Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: hesperis Date: 17 Jun 01 - 03:57 PM flattop is a CANNIBAL? Um... this is terrible! Atrocious!! ZAPJGOKOFFF!!! (Note to self: prepare a few good excuses for if he ever invites said self over for dinner.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 17 Jun 01 - 08:53 PM Ou hessy, just the kind of innocent girl a fox likes to meet in the woods. Which way to grandma's house? Never mind, I'm late for rollerskating. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Jun 01 - 09:33 PM flattop - What did the fact that she was a carnivore have to do with it, or should I not ask? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 18 Jun 01 - 12:03 AM You should not ask. Do you know what amazes me? The military capabilities of ordinary dog shit. Where did dogshit learn to hide in the grass and ambush people? You don't see it, then a minute later it's attacking your foot. Have the Pekingnese been poking their nose into Sun Tzu? Whole platoons of joggers disappear into dogshit traps each morning in this neighbourhood. If the Viet Cong had been as smart as dogshit the Americans would never have won the war. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: CarolC Date: 19 Jun 01 - 11:22 PM flattop... you leave those joggers alone! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Rick Fielding Date: 19 Jun 01 - 11:36 PM Duckboots here, too lazy to change cookies. Flattop, wash your mouth out with soap, and then go lick those chickens again. I thought that "well licked chickens" was a typo. Apparently not. Now just calm down or you'll get no dinner. Duckboots |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:16 PM flattop... the most amazing thing about dogcrap is its ability for delayed attack. You can be ambushed in the morning and not know it until you're sitting at your desk after coffee break, wondering if one of your co-workers is experiencing gastric distress. Completely demoralizing! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: mousethief Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:19 PM Um, flattop, the Americans lost that war. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:22 PM He's talking about the "Declared Victory", Alex. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: mousethief Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:31 PM I'm confused. The "Declared Victory" was bullshit, not dogshit. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:33 PM Yeah. The war of 1812 was another one that really didn't go terribly well (if you consider its original main objective: to take Canada, then called British North America), but it was hailed as a great victory. Mind you, it wasn't the complete and utter failure that Vietnam was... I think flattop was just trying to screw around with our minds or provoke some sort of immoderate response. My big disappointment was discovering that this thread had nothing to do with Bob Dylan. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:42 PM Actually, I think Dylan stepped in a pile of Old English Sheepdog poop right before his Albert Hall appearance in 1966. That's why he looks so uncomfortable and cranky in Don't Look Back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: GUEST,SharonA Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:43 PM I thought it was never declared a war; "just" a Conflict. BTW don't cows have 4 stomachs? Alex Trebek said so on a recent Jeopardy! show. So what happens if you give a cow some of that Japanese beer from Song Challenge! part 28? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: mousethief Date: 20 Jun 01 - 01:44 PM Sharon, it doesn't bear thinking about. Yeah, the war of 1812 was another great American victory. Or would have been, if the Canadians had only KEPT Detroit. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie Date: 20 Jun 01 - 02:12 PM Yes indeed, I think we need to find a way to collect expelled methane and use it for fuel. It seems to me that I have heard that people in the early days of gas lighting, actually did use methane. I will have to check that out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Lonesome EJ Date: 20 Jun 01 - 02:35 PM Race cars run on methane, Kim. Maybe that's what they mean by "horsepower"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: gnu Date: 20 Jun 01 - 03:16 PM Detroit ? Would you consider taking Windsor ? Then, just maybe, we could afford to buy American made auto's. Free trade my ass ! BTW, I buy only North American made stuff if I can, but it's beating the heck out of my finances. Sorry for the creep. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 20 Jun 01 - 08:13 PM If I wash my mouth out first will the sheep look less sheepish Duckboots? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 21 Jun 01 - 04:20 AM I don't want to prolong this thread (well, perhaps just keep the (methane) flame alive till Spaw gets out of hospital!) but I read yesterday that New Zealand has had a proposal to tax farmers per head of cattle, sheep, whatever, as a global warming tax on methane emissions! Wait till the IRS get to Cletus and the Reg boys! RtS (hold the beans, mam, my tax bill's due) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Kim C Date: 21 Jun 01 - 10:01 AM If race cars run on methane, why not real cars? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Mark Cohen Date: 21 Jun 01 - 06:28 PM Kim, the "natural gas" that the gas utilities in many communities use IS methane. See? You didn't know how smart you were... Aloha, Mark |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: flattop Date: 21 Jun 01 - 11:25 PM You have to eat a lot of bean to drive the car around the block. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: CarolC Date: 22 Jun 01 - 04:10 AM Beans, beans, the energy fruit The more you eat, the more you scoot The more you scoot, the farther you go So eat your beans, they're good you know.
Beans, beans, they're good for your heart What the hell, right? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: English Jon Date: 22 Jun 01 - 08:23 AM Farting is such sweet sorrow. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Amos Date: 22 Jun 01 - 10:03 AM First, "blow me down" doesn't refer to wind blowing sailors off decks, but knocking them down with a fist or a belay-pin as a means of discipline and incentive, I believe. It has nothing to do with oral exercises on strange locations. Following from a page about the old shanty: "Blow the Man Down was originally a halyard shanty. Law on the high seas was basically rule with a Fist, and "Blow" refers to knocking a man down with a fist, belaying pin or capstan bar. Chief Mates in Western Ocean ships were known as "blowers", second mates as "strikers" and third mates as "greasers". " Though Spaw is most renowned for flatus |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Mickey191 Date: 22 Jun 01 - 10:20 AM Billy Connelly Story: Queen Elizabeth was in A horse Drawn Coach with the visiting King of Tonga. One of the horses farrrrrrrrted loudly & long. The Queen said, Oh I'm sorry! The King said, "I thought it was the horse." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Amos Date: 23 Jun 01 - 01:41 AM Well, so did I! In fact didn't you even SAY it was a horse?? Why was she apologizing for the horse? Why kind of a Quee is going to go around apologizing for the digestive processes of farm animals? I mean, what, didn't they have anything to TALK about? Or were they both so darned awestruck each by the others' Majesty that they dodn't want to communicate anything for feare of disrupting the Royal Tranquility?? What the hell -- do we really want such darned fragile beings as our Monarchs? I am sure Tonga is not a hotspot of news, but anyone with half a brain could at least keep her Royal Humility laugjing overe the differences!! And it was the horse anyway!!! For that matter why didn't HE apologize for the horse, seeing that he was the only one who recognized the horse fart!! She evidently thought she'd had something to do with the sound effect. No I have heard of stiff upper lips, and people acting frozen from the neck up and so on, but I don't believe I have ever met a human being so benumbed by their own circumstances that they could not detect the passage of a horse-sized fart from their very own internal cavities!!! Well perhaps she honestly believe that she had no such cavities due to her majestic legacy? Sort of a residual of the old Divine Right days? Oh, where is Mark Twain when we really NEED him?? Regards, A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: Mickey191 Date: 23 Jun 01 - 12:08 PM Amos Dear Heart, You sound as if a good fart (yours) would do you a world of good. Try it- you might feel better. I'm sure the horse did. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Blowing in the wind... From: CarolC Date: 23 Jun 01 - 01:20 PM Amos, maybe it was her horse and she was apologizing for it. But what I want to know is, where was her royal apologizer? It would have been his job to apologize for both Queen and horse. |
