BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .

Subject: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 02:39 PM

We have grown up with advertising filters embedded in our brains and hear a second voice of disclaimers without a second thought. Here is a cleverly worded email that avoids a direct statement but is pretty hard hitting by way of pushing your taboo button.

Subj: Re: [ManBeef Contact] I want to know you if you are real Date: 04/17/2001 9:52:37 PM Eastern Daylight Time From: [e-mail] (Joseph Christopherson)

Dear M.C.

Many people don't openly accept the fact that others enjoy the flavor and texture of human meat. However, we assure you that our company is in no way a joke. We have been in this business for many years, and over the years we have had many people assume that our company is merely a joke. Though we are offended by that, we do take the time to let people know that we are indeed a serious business.

It is common for people to feel uncomfortable with the idea of eating human flesh, and this has caused a great deal of problems for us in the past. Those who deem the concept of consuming human flesh as "gross" only do so because they have not experienced the delicacy that is ManBeef.

For people who are new to the world of human flesh consumption, we offer a new "Sampler Pack." This package contains small samples of the most common cuts of ManBeef. We find that it is a good way to introduce someone to the concept of eating human meat. The sampler pack only costs $200 and contains 28 samples of our best cuts. If you would like to order our sampler pack, please contact [e-mail]

ManBeef operates on a completely legal basis. All bodies we use are legally accounted for, and have had all of their rights waived by selling their bodies to cadaver venders, before they passed away. This makes the sales of our products completely legal. You can find more information about how we acquire our bodies on our processing page. http://www.manbeef.com/processing.html

Some countries, states, or counties have laws against the purchase, sale, or consumption of human flesh, however many do not.

ManBeef assumes no responsibility if you violate local laws by purchasing human meat. It is the customers responsibility to contact their local authorities and determine whether they would be in violation of local law by purchasing or consuming human flesh. If you discover that it is illegal to consume or purchase human meat in your county, please contact your congressman and request that the laws be changed. When a customer signs up for ManBeef membership we thoroughly check their state and county laws in regards to handling, shipping, purchasing, and consuming of human flesh. If at that point we discover that it is illegal for you to purchase human meat from ManBeef International Meats, we will inform you. It is also important to remind you that the laws do change from county to county. This means that if you plan to have a picnic in another county, you may be in violation of local law by transferring human flesh across county lines. If you wish to become a consumer of human meat, we suggest that you begin researching the legality of this action. By better understanding the laws throughout the country, you safeguard yourself against legal action.

Thank you for your interest in ManBeef,

Joseph Christopherson -- President, ManBeef International Meats. -- www.manbeef.com

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: mousethief
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 02:46 PM

Seems pretty direct (and disgusting) to me!

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read this .
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 02:48 PM

BTW I am sure vegetarians read , I just did not want to causeany undue anguish by having a vegetarian read "this" post. Ennuendo is one thing but... Too bad Ford Explorers do not have a disclaimer of once again "unsafe at any speed".

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 02:54 PM

That's funny!!

Sign me up, eh!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 03:00 PM

As they say Its the other white meat. (doesn't taste like chicken at all - more like pork) Anyway enough of this tripe I saw on the Art Bell site.yuck

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 03:03 PM

This reminds me of an old childhood lament- And me without a dish and a spoon! Also another fictional product, Soylent Green. I remember that Long Pig was a euphemism for human flesh, cannibal style. Manbeef must be Nouvelle Cuisine.

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 03:11 PM

Now this would be a wierd story : Vegetarian donates organs to animal ;-}

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Bagpuss
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 03:11 PM

Everyone knows humans taste like pork, not beef!

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 05:44 PM

Why do I have this craving for applesauce?

LTS who used to be vegetarian!!

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: RangerSteve
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 09:57 PM

What kind of people work in the butcher shop at this place? With all the legal meat that's readily available, why bother with human meat anyway? For that matter, why bother with snails, squid, head cheese or frogs legs?

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: guinnesschik
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 11:09 PM

Ugh. I don't like the taste of carnivorous animals, and I'm sure humans (fed on a steady diet of carcinogens and fast food) would taste dreadful....unless they're vegetarians.

Yuck. Think I'll stick to CowBeef, thank you.

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Chip2447
Date: 11 Jun 01 - 11:50 PM

If a vegetarian eats vegatbles, what does a humanitarian eat?

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Gervase
Date: 12 Jun 01 - 05:46 AM

guinesschik's got it.
The sort of crap most people shove into their bodies would make them taste disgusting. I know how I stink after too much coffee, curry or whisky, so heaven knows what I'd taste like (though my fingernails always seem pretty tasteless!).
I think the answer is only to eat vegetarians. Just think of it; by devouring a veggie you're helping save the world from global warming (cf: the farting thread).
On another tack entirely, why can't the GM pioneers, in their infinite wisdom, make peas, beans and sprouts that taste of snot? Not for me, you understand, but it may be the only way to get small children to eat them.

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: GUEST,folkie
Date: 12 Jun 01 - 06:35 AM

reading this thread definately beats working (and I am a vegetarian!

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:10 AM

One point of mine is that the ManBeef guy never says they actually will sell you a human product. Apparently some people all fooled all the time by what I call "Policorp English".

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: RangerSteve
Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:17 AM

re: peas, etc. that taste like snot: or make them in the shape of dinosaurs, worms, cartoon characters. Getting back to human meat, the stuff needs another name, just like veal for cute little baby cows, escargot for slimy vermin that most people just step on, head cheese for crud scraped off of a cows face, sweetbreads for parts you never new existed, prairie/mountain oysters for bull testicles, and in the middle Atlantic states, Scrapple for ground up pork snouts, tails, ears mixed with corn meal. Apparently, people will buy anything if the name is entirely unrelated to the actual product. I'd also like to recommend "unmentionable Cuisine, a cook book that's fascinating, even if you don't use the recipes. Ethnic and regional recipes for everything from cow brains to barnacles, with stops along the way for dog, cat, mice, with detailed explanations for why people eat that stuff. Highly recommended.

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jun 01 - 08:21 AM

Gervase , you have a good point. There is one protien that is respondsible for meat flavor. If GM types could insert it into veggies so they all tasted like McMadcows french fries then kids might eat them. Alot of the hybrid fruits like strawberries already taste either flavorless , like sulphur , or some kind of fruit but it'snot.

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Justa Picker
Date: 12 Jun 01 - 12:16 PM

And here I thought M and M's were the only ones that ate their own kind.

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 12 Jun 01 - 12:25 PM

"Well, sir... It's just that... I'd rather eat Johnson."

---Monty Python---

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: BS. Vegetarians - do not read .
From: Gervase
Date: 13 Jun 01 - 05:14 AM

Maybe it depends if you're well-hung or not (and no, don't go there, 'Spaw!).
Once I had a rather nasty necrosis in my leg where the flesh started to go off around the edges of a wound, and the smell reminded me a lot of roquefort cheese, with just a hint of gamey pheasant thrown in.
If I dissociated the pong with the problem, it actually smelled quite tasty. Or perhaps I'm just a sicko who loves roquefort and pheasant!