BS: do u believe?

Subject: do u believe?
From: Dorrie
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 09:35 PM

i know this is a folk site but at college the other day we were talking about love and i was really surpised to see how many people had twisted views. So i guess what i'm saying is - do u guys believe in true love?Or am i the only one left?????? sorry but it upset me because i tohuht love was what live was about after all my dads bedtime song were all about lovers (and admittedly death and other folky type themes but...) love(or maybe not as the case maybe) dorrie xx

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Justa Picker
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 09:52 PM

I came across this a while ago.

...but yes, I believe...

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:00 PM

sure...it really happens. But you never know exactly where or when...and it is easy to be 'primed' so you mistake other things for 'it'. There's no easy test, but it pays to go slowly and explore..(not deny, just examine)...it's worth waiting for....

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:01 PM

Along with Death, it's the most used theme in all music, so you're not off-topic at all.  We have to believe in it -at least in theory- or we can't do justice to the songs.  Experience may tell us otherwise, but if we don't continue to believe, we may as well give it all up and sell double glazing.

There are always young people who affect cynicism to make themselves seem more grown up (I did it in my time, like many others) but it's so often just a pretence to protect themselves; they're frightened by it.  If you can manage without that, you'll grow up a lot quicker than they will, and will probably be happier.  Good luck.

Malcolm

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:15 PM

True love exists OK but it something you give regardless of your feelings.

If you truely find someone who feels for you and you feel for them and you WORK (I don't believe it comes for free, apart from the initial "introduction") at it, you will probably see true love and true friendship at its best but it is IMO a rarety and one I've never experienced.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:17 PM

...and if you are REALLY unlucky, it can happen twice...at the same time.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Matt_R
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:46 PM

I know Bill, I know all about it!

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:48 PM

Matt --- I know how you feel, but there MIGHT be one or chapters still ahead for you to read for thre first time. Just MAYbe....

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: RichM
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 11:10 PM

It happened to me.
Does that mean it can happen to you?

Yes...
No...
Maybe!

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 11:36 PM

Of course it does but only you and your lifemate will know........And it has little if anything to do with all the stuff we are led to believe. Bill D. once again has it right.

James Dickey in his novel "Deliverance" is describing the relationship one of his characters found with his wife and said, He didn't know what it was before but he had been looking for a flame within.....and when he found it, or at least the spark, he married it."

I wasn't "looking" when I met Karen and if asked I could not have described what I was looking for......but I saw something in her, or at least a vestige of it, and I knew I had found the unknown thing I had always looked for..............No man ever loved a woman as I love Karen.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 11:42 PM

Always look for the Unknown Thing.
Remember that Love changes.
Fireworks are not the same as a candle flame.
But candles are just as valid.
Yes, it is possible. I agreed to marry a man I had only known for 3 months. 29 years later we are still married.

Arguments, fights, spats--of course, but we are still married and that is how we both want it to be.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Philibuster
Date: 29 Jun 01 - 11:45 PM

Love is like god and religon, no matter how many books are written on them, no matter what you are told about them, it will always mean something different to everybody. To some people, their foolish and don't/shouldn't exist. To others, it's at the center of their universe, and they couldn't live without it. And some people have been so screwed over by it that they are left posting inane similes on BS threads.

Nice to see you back Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: dwditty
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 12:37 AM

Hey 'Spaw. nice to see the heart is still in tact. Jon hinted at it, from my point of view. True love is something you give, which is the meat of the problem. I think most are spending all their energies trying to get it.

And, 'Spaw, I don't doubt your love for Karen, but Jody may take exception to the "no man ever..." line. My Jody, that is.

dw

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 12:47 AM

And we can all relish in the argument dw!

Good to be here......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: GUEST,khandu
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:33 AM

True love is the only reason I am here to write this.

khandu

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: hesperis
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 02:18 AM

Of course.

But there is a price. Or a toll.

And the dance of love and freedom is hard sometimes.

And it is never exactly what you expect, but usually better in ways you couldn't even have imagined.

Love is real, perhaps more real than anything else.

Love is.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 02:20 AM

of course i do....and I also believe that I will know her when I meet her....our souls will recognise each other...memories of lifetimes past...

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: bbc
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 09:23 AM

Yes, true love can exist & it's a good idea to prepare yourself for it while you're waiting for it to come along. You need to be ok being alone before you will be ready to be an equal partner. Read John Gray's Mars/Venus books to understand the differences in male/female communication. Might have saved me a divorce.

best,

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Micca
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 10:46 AM

Sometimes I am not certain and others just not so sure about this, but this I do KNOW.
" So love me for what I am, take both the bad and good
And Tho' sometimes its hard to bend I'm not made out of wood
And often I'm am not sensitive to how you sometimes feel
But I love and laugh and hope and I am REAL

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: DougR
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 03:46 PM

You betcha!

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 04:03 PM

I have been twice blessed in my life to be loved by and to love both my husbands. Steve, my first husband and father of my eldest three children was a very special man and I will never stop loving him (he died when Little Duckling was 9 weeks old). I was convinced that I could not and would not ever meet someone who I could feel the same way about and then one day there was Geoff! Every bit as special as Steve and yet not alike at all. He often says he would have liked to have met Steve as he thinks they would have got on well although it would have been different for us if that was the case. I love them both and always will and Geoff is happy with that as my deep feelings for Steve only prove how much I love him to have been able to start again! But yes, Jon, whilst it may be easy to fall in love staying in love needs commitment and work on both sides and it can be fun too!!!Oh and Geoff if you read this - I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART
And I don't care how sloppy that sounded!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Dorrie
Date: 30 Jun 01 - 04:38 PM

very interesting.Can you feel a sexual style love for someone at such a young age?I think you can but do you think u can? by sexual i dont mean actual sex(becuase i'm not thre at all but thats a whole new thread) but not the love i feel for mum and dad and lucy etc.

sorry soooooooooooooooo many questions

dorrie xxx

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: kendall
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 09:33 AM

You are asking a bunch of romantics if true love exists? Of course it does. bbc, I was married to a therapist, and, she and her collegues viewed John Gray as a "Lightweight". I attended one of his lectures at Kripalu (a center for health, meditatation and yoga in western Massachusettes) and, I found his ideas to be very interesting and informative.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Peg
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 10:36 AM

Amergin, I believe in the "love at first sight" thing which reminds us of those we have known in past lives...it has certainly happened to me in this lifetime.

But some time ago I had this thought, that the reason we may recognize someone instantaneously and feel that attraction as love, may or may not mean we were his/her lover in a past life. Perhaps we "know" then because they were a parent, or a sibling, or an enemy on the battlefield...

It would explain a lot...

Peg

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: kendall
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 01:24 PM

I believe that, Peg

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: GUEST,Kernow John
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 05:29 PM

There was I line in I think "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"
"Love is what's left over when being "in love" has burned away.
KJ

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Matt_R
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 05:34 PM

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 08:59 PM

Dorrie - Do I believe in true love? In the romantic sense?

Yes.....

Have I managed it yet? Probably not. I don't think I'm actually quite that mature. Not that I haven't tried...and with all good intention...but...got a way to go, that's all.

True love is not conditional, you see. It arises out of a larger love for all beings that is also not conditional.

I haven't managed that either, I just have heard about it.

I have always believed in true love, and boy has it ever gotten me into some major entanglements! I have never yet managed to love unconditionally, sorry to say. Good luck.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jul 01 - 10:37 PM

Cheer up Matt. All I said was "Maybe"! I am always leery of propositions which approach the absolute, don't take it personally.

Best regards,

A

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Firecat
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 05:58 AM

I defintiely believein true love. IT CAN HAPPEN!!!
I also believe in love at first sight.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: The Cat's Whiskers
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 06:08 AM

Definately. Just don't go looking for it tho', cause love is shy and will run a mile from anyone searching - it'll find you when you least expect it...

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 11:57 AM

A never-married 52-year-old musician friend told me a few years back that he believes in true love at first sight and that he believes it will happen for him one day.

I thought him naive at best.

But now he has met her, another musician. Who knows how it will end but it seems to be true for both of them. I hope they're right.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: chip a
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 02:27 PM

Found it!!!!!!!!!!

Chip A.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 02:39 PM

True love, yes. Love at first sight, yes. My X2B and I had a HUGE, cymbals-crashing, the-whole-universe-blew-away-and-all-that-was-left-was-each-other's-eyes kind of meeting, sparks all over for the early times... then 10 years of growing abuse later, I fled with 2 small boys in actual physical fear... but we've (X2B and I) never stopped loving each other. And we still both "know" it was "meant to be" and yet, it isn't happening... by my choice, to flee before the abuse turned physical...So it isn't all wine and roses, either!

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 03:22 PM

I believe in love. With all my being.

I just don't believe it has anything to do with middle class heterosexual romantic notions of "true" love. Or soul mates (I believe we have many of both sexes, and they come in many guises). And especially, love has nothing to do with marriage.

However, marriage has a lot to do with middle class values related to sexual respectability. It does so by putting term limits and expiration dates and such on sex between consenting adults.

You can get all the love you need without obsessing or possessing another human being. Or even owning one to do your housework...

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 03:30 PM

ABSOLUTELY

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: LR Mole
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 04:41 PM

I do.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 07:03 PM

Well, I've always believed in true love, but not in chiropractic. Then I fell in love with a chiropractor.
WOW! I believe!!
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Matt_R
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 07:09 PM

Believe it.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: CarolC
Date: 02 Jul 01 - 07:52 PM

This one's complicated for me. I don't think true love is the hearts-a-flutter breathless 'in love' thing that often brings people together. I think that is a fleeting, hormonally produced condition of temporary insanity.

I think true love is when you would gladly clean up your beloved's vomit when he or she has the flu, and when the living of ordinary daily life, in all its forms, together, provides the meaning for your togetherness.

I think, when you have found someone with whom you would gladly do this, and who would gladly do it with you, you have found true love.

I do think it exists, but maybe it's rare.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Dorrie
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 03:17 PM

Thats dead nice

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Amergin
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 03:25 PM

So, Carol, if a guy came up to you and said....

Carol, I love it when you throw up your half digested grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup all over my couch and my new carpteting. I just love scrubbing every speck of you vomit, out of my carpet, by hand while I am trying to fight the gag reflex and keep my own lunch down

Then that would knock you off your feet?

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 04:06 PM

Amergin, you old poet, you.

If guy I didn't know came up to me and said that, I would probably think he had a vomit fetish. That wouldn't knock me off my feet, but it would probably put me off my lunch.

If a guy I was involved with put it the way you did, I would probably think he was being sarcastic. That would probably not be what I needed while I was sick.

If I was sick and had just thrown up and a guy I was involved with said, "Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. It's no problem. You just rest and get better." That might knock me off my feet. In fact, it probably would.

How'd you know I like grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup?

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Amergin
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 07:52 PM

Remember I am a sex god...so I know these things....

Actually, I figured that is what yoiu were meaning...I was just having fun at your expense..it pisses me off when a woman who will gladly take care of me when I am down...won't let me take care of her when she is sick....have been known to have arguments about it...not loud ones...or anything...but still...

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 09:28 PM

Sounds like a bit of a loaded issue for you there, Amergin. Could you love any of those women enough to not take care of them if they didn't want you too? Without getting pissed off?

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Amergin
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 09:37 PM

maybe pissed is too strong a word...irritated is possibly closer...

Hmmm...interesting question...but the way I saw/see it as that if they were so willing to do things for me...and I would let them....why shouldn't I do things for her? I always figured that a partnership was 50/50...that couples do things for each other...

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Matt_R
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 09:40 PM

Often times it gets labelled...when a woman refuses help, it's called being an independant woman. When a man does it, well...he's just being a "typical male".

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 09:48 PM

Maybe the 50/50 needs to be about what each is willing to do for the other and what each is willing to accept about the other instead of a strict measurement of what each physically does for the other.

But if you find yourself unhappy with a woman because she won't let you take care of her, maybe it wasn't a very good match to begin with.

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Gypsy
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:47 PM

Can you possibly be addicted to something as emotional as music, and not have love in your life? Am still chasing the handsome guitarist i met in 1976, although he usually lets me catch him. (and plays mando more than guitar now)

Subject: RE: BS: do u believe?
From: Amergin
Date: 03 Jul 01 - 11:05 PM

You know, Carol, I never thought of it in that light...maybe it was more of a need on my part...as we're no longer together it doesn't matter that much, but it still is something to keep in mind for future relationships....thanks, for giving me something to think about...