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BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag?
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BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? |
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Subject: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Áine Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:25 PM It's been four years now since my daddy died, and I've kept the flag that was draped over his coffin (being that he was a WWII veteran -- an MP at Los Alamos) wrapped up and in the closet since his funeral. Now that some of the pain of his passing has eased, and since the Fourth of July is coming up, I've been wondering what I could do with his flag. Would it be inappropriate of me to fly it from a flagpole on the front of my house? Or should I 'put it up' some way that would preserve it -- but how? I just don't want it to sit in the dark, gathering dust, because Daddy was very proud of his service to his country, and I want my children to be proud of him, too. Any suggestions would be welcome, especially from other US service veterans. Thanks, Áine |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Amergin Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:33 PM Get a glass case with velvet cushions and stow the flag in there...with some service pictures of your dad....and anything else that might relate to his career.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: RangerSteve Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:35 PM Do you have a big picture window that the flag will fit in? If the flag was folded properly, into a triangle, there are triangular frames available in some army/navy surplus stores that are deep enough to hold a flag for display. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Sarah2 Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:36 PM Aine, There are some very nice flag display cases out there -- check with your local flag shop. There's one that's triangular, for the properly folded flag, and will sit on a shelf or desktop or wherever without taking up the whole room. They don't cost too horrible much, either. I don't think it's appropriate to fly a flag that has draped a soldier's or veteran's coffin, as the sentiment is that he fought to preserve it, and this one is his own -- and should therefore be preserved in his memory. But that may be just me... Sarah |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Joe Offer Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:43 PM I'd vote for flying the flag on holidays and on days that were special to him - but that choice is yours, Áine. Once it starts showing wear, maybe then you'd like to stop flying it and put it into more permanent storage. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: mg Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:48 PM I have not heard you shouldn't fly it. I think that it would make him very proud if you flew it and stored it the display as suggested the rest of the year. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: GUEST,Timehiker Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:55 PM Amergins' advice is on the mark. Any veterans organization (VFW, American Legion, Non-Commissioned Officers Association, Fraternal Order of Police, ect)can tell you where you can obtain an appropriate display case. That way you may display the flag in your home, or store it, as you see fit, without damaging it. A flag on a pole is just that, a flag on a pole, but, any veteran and most of the WWII generation will know exactly what that three cornered fold represents. My thanks to your family for your father's service and their sacrifice. Take care, Timehiker |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Deckman Date: 02 Jul 01 - 10:11 PM I mean this as a gentle suggestion ... in America, most cemetary business offices have a variety of appropriate display cases ... CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Bert Date: 02 Jul 01 - 10:13 PM Hi Áine, Tree's Dad's flag is kept in a display case. But it always seems a little sad to me that his flag won't fly again. So I'd say Joe has it right. And I'll politely disagree with Timehiker and say that a flag on a pole is OUR flag. I would consider it an honor to salute your Dad's flag if you decide to fly it. Bert |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Sorcha Date: 02 Jul 01 - 10:18 PM My mom had my dad's, and kept it in a triangular wooden case on the stereo speaker. When she died 11 years later, my brother the Army SSGT got it. What he does with it, I have no idea, but it is probably in the display shrunk in the living room.
A triangular flag just means it's folded properly. A triangular flag in a display case in a window USUALLY means a deceased veteran....but not necessarily.
As far as I know, there are no rules about flying a casket flag, but it will wear out sooner. There is a "group"---(Boy Scout Troop in Florida????) that collects worn flags and ceremoniously burns them every ??Flag Day??? Can't remember just who it is, thought. Could be Rotary, Elks, Legion, VFW, etc. but I think it is Scouts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Bluegrass Girl Date: 02 Jul 01 - 10:20 PM I have my first husband's coffin flag on a staff in one corner of our rec room. It's comforting standing there for all to see. I feel him there. It is unfortunate that he gave his life in Nam, for a cause so many still don't understand. But that may bring a barrage of new threads we really shouldn't deal with here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: GUEST,khandu Date: 02 Jul 01 - 11:00 PM I received my Dad's flag on Christmas Eve 1989 at his funeral. Later, I gave it to his grandson (my nephew)to whom Dad was a hero. I would never have given it up, but I discovered that I had also received (or, had always had) my Dad's heart. The flag hangs proudly in nephews home. khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Áine Date: 02 Jul 01 - 11:21 PM Thank you all so much. My daddy was such a 'free spirit,' you see, and that's what has been causing me to wonder about what to do with his flag. What else do you call a red-headed Irish American singer, trumpet player, minister, soldier, boxer, policeman, writer, journalist, taxi driver, salesman, printer, photographer and beekeeper (in order of careers)? To add to that, this is a fella, 80 years of age, who successly plots his own 'escape' from a nursing home two weeks before his own death -- and him not being able to walk and in a wheelchair! That's where my quandry comes from -- would he want his flag to stay in a place of utmost honor on display, or would he want it to fly in front of his only daughter's home, waving in the breeze for his grandchildren to see? I appreciate all your responses, and I promise to weigh your words very carefully. My mother has gone as well, so I don't have her to ask about this. I'm just so proud of my daddy, and I don't want to do anything to dishonor his memory. A special thank you to Timehiker and Bluegrass Girl -- your words brought tears to my eyes . . . and I also thank you in honor of the following members of my family:
Sgt. Joe P. King, U.S. Army, WWII (deceased) -- Áine
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Banjer Date: 03 Jul 01 - 05:11 AM Aine, with that list of family members a thought is born! My first thought was a triangular diplay case. After seeing your list I visualize a wall of your family or living room with a brass engraved plaque, listing those members who have served our country and Dad's flag on an indoor pole next to it. (You know the type of flag pole one sees in courtrooms and other public buildings) Just a suggestion....I know that whatever you decide will come from YOUR heart and be in keeping with what Dad would approve of. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Steve in Idaho Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:15 AM Banjer has it right on. I keep a flag from my Dad's coffin, he flew as a tail gunner in B-17s in WW-II, in a Shadow Box with his medals and pictures under it. Lots of places have them but a good one is a bit spendy. After reading all of the posts I may have to rethink how I have it displayed. My only concern is that flown outside will really wear it out faster - and for me it is a family eirloom. When I die I hope my kids will put my stuff in a case with the flag they put over me. If you have a local Marine detachment they can fold the flag properly for you to display in a case. Thanks for thinking of veterans on this day. Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Amos Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:22 AM I dunno, Aine. From what I understand about Big Joe, he might rather have that flag waving as high as anyone could put it, wear out or not. He was more the kind of man who celebrated the famous quote from Jack London: "I would rather be ashes than dust...." -- he might just say "Flags is for flying, not for folding up in a corner." You'd have to be the judge of that, of course. I like the plaque idea -- you have a whole role of honor right there in Moon on the Hill! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: GUEST,Walking Eagle Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:43 AM It seems as my suggestion would reflect what othere have posted. One suggestion though. Custom aside, the flag and any symbols that you have are secondary to the STORIES of him. My humble opinion would be to display your flag proudly on the fourth, while passing along stories of your dad to any younguns ( or any other family members )in your family. It's quite obvious that you felt quite attached to him. Make sure the younguns know what the stories are behind the man. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Amos Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:53 AM Spot on, Eagle. The artifacts aren't the target -- it's the ongoing Life of Big Joe in hearts and minds down the stream that counts! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: GUEST,Walking Eagle Date: 03 Jul 01 - 11:28 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: GUEST,Walking Eagle Date: 03 Jul 01 - 11:32 AM Pardon if this ol' Cherokee Hillbilly gets to soundin' a bit preachy, but make sure your stories reflect the good as well as the not-so-good. Even angels are missing a few feathers! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Kim C Date: 03 Jul 01 - 11:38 AM I think if you flew it on holidays as a special commemoration, and displayed it the rest of the time, that would be very, very nice. :-) Now you have got me thinking what I need to do with my daddy's Purple Heart. I was going to put it in a lock box, but now I'm not so sure. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Mary in Kentucky Date: 03 Jul 01 - 11:45 AM Another thought...I regularly display a flag from a pole on the front of my house, and my husband has a large flag on a permanent flagpole in front of his business. I've found that a good cloth flag in the elements everyday only lasts about six months. We routinely buy new ones to keep them looking good. We prefer to keep the folded flag from his father's funeral in storage under glass. I've seen the nice frames and display cases, but have never bought one. Flying the flag is personal to me because every time I display it I say a prayer for the men and women who died to honor all it stands for. I feel guilty when I forget and leave it out all night or when I let it get rained on. (I think etiquette says that if it's on a permanent flagpole or a light on it, it's OK to leave it out.) I've noticed that a lot of people these days aren't aware of flag etiquette that I'm sensitive to. Our local paper printed up a paper picture of the Stars and Stripes for folks to cut out and put in their windows. I even made a mistake about a flag displayed in a church sanctuary. The rule is...if it's (the American flag) on a platform or dais, it is on the right (speaker's right), but if it's on the level of the audience, then it's on the audience's right. Live and learn. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: MMario Date: 03 Jul 01 - 12:12 PM My grandfather's flag from his funeral was proudly flown Memorial Days and Fourth of July, VJ day, VE day, and Patriot's Day until it was no longer in shape to fly. And though now it sits correctly folded in a box in the closet - it is still in the family - and his grandchildren have a lot of memories to pass on - not just of Grandpop, but of the various days we flew hisflag. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: chip a Date: 03 Jul 01 - 12:24 PM Aine, I think whatever you decide will be just fine. You are already honoring your father by your attitude and concern. Chip A. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Rowana (at work) Date: 03 Jul 01 - 12:26 PM Several years ago, the flag at an upmarket condo development was stolen. The story was reported in the newsaper; people were aghast. When my dear neighbor, now deceased, read the story, he offered them the flag that had draped his brother's coffin. The brother had been killed in WWI. Meantimes the condo management had purchased a new flag. The condo management flew their newly-purchased flag every day but flew the special flag on holidays as a way of honoring the brother. I've since come to think that these flags should be flown on holidays as a memorial to the fallen. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Irish sergeant Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:20 PM Aine, I believe you'll come up with a proper solution. But from what you say about your dad, I think he would want it flown. To me, and I suspect him, the flag is much more than a relic to be boxed and gather dust. It is a symbol of a vibrant, freedom loving nation. As a veteran of the Gulf War and sixteen years of riding the haze grey express My salute and thanks to the sacrifices made by your family. God Bless and have a happy Fourth of July, Kindest reguards, Neil |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do I Do With My Daddy's Flag? From: Wotcha Date: 03 Jul 01 - 10:37 PM My father was a WWII Seabee and survived the experience (putting flags on the beaches so Marines could figure out where the action was). I take his flag in the familiar triangular display case with engraved plaque to my place of duty each assignment (particularly poignant in Kuwait): helps remind me to keep the faith (one of my earlier ancestors went to Mexico with a bunch of Tennessee volunteers and never came back).
Cheers, |