Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 02:25 PM

Glad to hear it. How did you enjoy your trip?

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 02:17 PM

No, not even a little bit. On the way UP they asked about 17 rapid-fire yes/no questions to which I answered only yes or no, volunteering nothing. On the way back I swear the douanier had to pee, he was shifting from foot to foot and only asked if we were citizens - didn't even check ID. But had I not HAD the letter I'm sure it would have been needed! thanks for all the fish,

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Amergin
Date: 27 Aug 01 - 05:12 PM

From what Mrrzy told me they had no problems crossing....

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 27 Aug 01 - 03:54 PM

Hey Mrzzy,

Did everything go well at the border?

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jul 01 - 12:38 PM

Does anybody think that a copy of the actual order not restricting travel will help?

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 17 Jul 01 - 11:55 AM

Mrrzy ... I have double checked the letter that I have,and it does have a notory stamp on it. If you are asked for a letter, it will have to be from the kid's father. I have noticed lately that they have posters up on the ferries warning single parents to have the proper documentation. I hope you can get it without too much difficulty. Without the proper papers, you could be held up at the border crossing for hours, and we don't want that! You have precious little time as it is!

LL

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Jul 01 - 01:29 AM

Yikes. The ad litem should be back soon (I didn't know they gave guardians vacations...) and I think / hope that a letter attesting to no limits plus a copy of what I provided the X2B should serve as well as a letter FROM the X2B, no? Musicman/Lyrical Lady, you may get a call from me to come down and visit while we're in shouting distance, plus a free night in a B&B if you want! Just kidding, I am sure, sure I am!

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: GUEST,willie-o
Date: 17 Jul 01 - 12:52 AM

best to have the letter, whatever your marital status. They usually ask abouyt the other parent, to any adult traveling alone with kids.

DON'T forge a note though, because unless it is serioucly notarized and all that, it won't satisfy them if they're actively suspicious...and the next step is to phone the other party. So don't make an annoyance into something worse...

Willie-O,
blended family, one part Canuck, one part Murican.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 16 Jul 01 - 11:32 PM

Hello Mrrzy, Having had to cross the border from Canada into USA and Mexico several times I can tell you that I've been asked for a letter from my X everytime to say that he has given his permission. I fortunately have such a letter from my daughter's dad to say that everything is A-ok. It was a very informal letter, not notorized or anything like that .. and it did the trick. I wish you the best of luck and look forward to meeting you. If you have any further questions, please PM and I will be happy to help.

LL

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Haruo
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 10:19 PM

I've never had any problem getting into Canada; but I have been hassled (once to a ridiculous extreme) trying to get back into the land of my birth (USA).

Liland

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 09:38 PM

Canadian in Alberta. They are getting increasingly active in checking children traveling with a male adult. There have been several incidents reported in the papers (so of course details garbled). Best to have the proper papers.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 08:43 PM

So many years ago, I forgot this, but this thread has refreshed my memory... Dad stopped at that little liquor store just before crossing back into the great white north. He bought liquor and smokes AND he used a valve stem screw on the valve stem on the left rear tire, which he had inflated to twenty pounds over-pressure at the last service station south. He was, of course, wearing his dress RCAF, with commondations from several theatres, uniform.

The "boarder" gentleman began with niceties, but was quickly taken with determining what the hell that hissing noise was. When he determined that we were about to have a flat tire, he urged my father to get to a service station nearby, complete with directions. We departed post haste, along with all the tobacco and liquor "above and beyond".

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 07:33 PM

*grin*...print this thread and offer it to the guard if you get any hassles.!

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 02:41 PM

I truly believe that having the letter guarantees that you won't be asked for it. Very much like it never rains when you remember your umbrella on those overcast days. Obviously if you can get it, get it. And again, your psychology is right. Tell X2B that you've been told you won't need it.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Musicman
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 02:41 PM

Mrrzy...

looking forward to your visit here..... I have never had a problem either way at the border when travelling with my daughter..... I cross the border alot..

the main thing is to answer their questions simply, clearly.... talk to them like you would anybody else.. they are just people doing their job..not wanting to cause trouble..but always on the lookout forit... If you present an attitude of nervousness or fear.. they might get suspicious... so .. be yourself...

if you need a contact for canada.. let me know. you should have my numbers and address already, but if not.. let me know..

musicman

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 02:28 PM

You know, if I tell X2B that I don't need it, that's when I'll probably get it, good idea! I always forget the possibility of just treating someone who acts like a 2-year old, like a 2-year old.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: UB Ed
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 01:50 PM

Well, that would just be making it too easy! Tell him you don't need no stinkin letter; you got de Cat!

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jul 01 - 01:20 PM

Just spoke with X2B, who again, says that the letter WILL be signed... I'm not holding my breath...

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 03:49 PM

Thanks, everybody. I have thought of forging it but just my luck I'd get caught... and then I would look bad, which is not the point.

We are all US citizens, and I have already gotten the boys official VA identity cards, for which you need a birth certificate and Social Security card, so I think I'm identified enough. I am also trying to contact the Ad Litem (kinda like the children's lawyer) to get a letter from HIM stating that there is nothing in the custody arrangement that prohibits my traveling anywhere with the children. I have already provided my X2B with the letter to sign, and will bring a copy of that (unsigned) so they know I wasn't leaving anybody out of any loops...

There is nothing in VA or US law that restrict this kind of travel, but the airlines still PREFER to have a letter (USAIR has verbally told me that they don't require it). But everything I read that is official from Canada, and everyone I've contacted from those sites, says I should have the letter since I'm DRIVING across the border, so I am going to continue to try to get one.

But it is very reassuring that most people are OK going back and forth, (although I like the jack story).

And who knows, the horse may learn to sing.

More stories? More info? THANKS!

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: mousethief
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:40 PM

Weird, fretless; I just got waved through after the most banal of questions. You must have gotten another one of those power-hungry sad and sorry little people flexing their official muscle.

But I second your opinion of Vancouver. If it's not the world's most lovely city, it certainly is closer than any I've ever visited!

Alex

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: GUEST,fretless (at work)
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:31 PM

Mrrzy,

I've made the Peace Arch crossing into and back from BC a number of times in recent years, with my wife, with my wife and daughter, with my pre-teen daughter only, and alone. Never had problems of the sort you fear; and, indeed, when crossing with my daughter (occasionally at weird pre-dawn hours because we were heading from my in-laws in Vancouver to catch cheap flights out of Bellingham, WA or Seattle), I've been disappointed that the border officials weren't more diligent about questioning a lone male traveling with a dozing child. My sense, therefore, is that you should bring some documentation, but don't be overly concerned. In response to Alex/Mousethief's comment above, the one time I was hasseled crossing the border was when I took the 13/539 crossing. Taking the less crowded/less common crossing made me stand out and look, I suppose, like I had something to hide. No real problems; just more questions than usual. If you are willing to trade some time for ease of passage, stick to the Peace Arch route; but, of course pick your crossing times wisely: watch out in the summer especially for Friday and Sunday evenings. And have a great trip. Vancouver is a spectacularly beautiful city. I you have camping on your agenda, try to get across to Vancouver Island, where Long Beach has a fabulous camp ground on the cliffs above the coast.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:31 PM

Some things that I thnk have helped me cross successfully are:

1. Turn off the radio. 2. If you're wearing sunglasses take them off. 3. Look the guard in the eye. 4. Make sure that your children are awake, also looking at the guard and prepared to answer questions. 5. Be pleasant, but keep your answers short and to the point.

Probably all things that you've thought of, but I remind myself everytime I cross.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:25 PM

I know this is NOT the correct way of doing things but if your ex-spouse verbally agreed can't you just forge a document? I mean, don't go to the trouble to actually try to copy his signature but have some document with his signature written by anyone else. What's the border guard going to do? Try to verify the signature?
I know, I know ... honest people don't do this but it sounds like it would give you some peace of mind.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: UB Ed
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:18 PM

Mrrzy, I provided the letter after the divorce to my X but it was never requested (They went to the Carribean). As with you, we were operating under VA law.

Hardiman's advice sounds best. You are still married. Go ahead and send X2B a letter detailing your plans with proof of mailing. If the authorities question you, simply explain your situation in the positive manner I know you would.

Have a great trip!

Ed

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Charmion
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:17 PM

I'm not a lawyer either (perhaps you should consult one) but, further to remarks made above:

If you are not a Canadian citizen, the Canadian Consulate is not for you; contact the Canadian Embassy. Consulates are for our citizens living or travelling in other countries; embassies are for foreigners who want to contact our government.

If you are a US citizen travelling by air, bring your passport, and passports for all your children who are travelling with you. If you are a US citizen travelling by road, bring your birth certificate and, if applicable, naturalization papers, and the birth certificates of all your children who are travelling with you. If you are neither a US citizen or a Canadian citizen, and you are crossing the Canada-US border, you need your passport and, depending on your citizenship, perhaps a visa. Contact the Immigration Officer at a Canadian Embassy to find out what applies to you and your children.

Canadian governments and, consequently, the agents you meet at border points are increasingly aware of child abductions. The issue is always what is legally required of you, however, and if you do not have a legally registered child-custody agreement that does not permit you to take them to Canada, that (at least) is not a problem. Mind you, your X2B could *make* it a problem, but he/she must get a court order, and get it enforced, to achieve that goal.

Sounds like you and your kids could use a break. Canada is a great place to take one. Happy travels!

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Amergin
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:15 PM

I grew up just south of the border and we would every once in a while make day trips up to Cranbrook and Fort Steele and various other places....Usually, it was with my grandparents....and various other relatives....never had a problem then....

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 02:02 PM

You know, I've been crossing for about 35 years probably on average 3 times a year. My relatives have been coming up as long. I can't begin to calculate the number of times that Latimers have crossed the border, but it is literally hundreds. I have been pulled over once, I have had two cousins pulled over once each and one of those was being a smart ass.

Apparently they have to pull a certain number of vehicles over. I was crossing at Detroit one time on my way to Florida. There were three or four lines going to the checkpoint. At the back of one was on old jacked up Nova with a hood scoop, big mag wheels about four long haired guys and a bumper sticker that said "Don't like my driving? Call 1-800 Eat-Shit." I pulled right behind them figuring that they were certainly going to be pulled over and that they wouldn't pull over two vehicles consecutively. Worked like a charm.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: mousethief
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 01:55 PM

Mrrzy, I can't help with the border crossing issue, probably. I went up with my kid during the time my wife and I were separated but not yet divorced, and we got no grief at all. Some people have head-trips from the 'power' -- as Guest Denise notes above -- but I have (fortunately!) never run into any.

My advice concerns driving back into the US: DO NOT come BACK through the peace arch crossing on 99/I-5. It's always backed up a bazillion cars. Instead go to the next crossing over, just north of Lynden, WA. Head east out of Vancouver on the Trans-Canada (or the "number one" as the canucks call it) and then go south at route 13. There's never more than a 2 or 3 car backup there (even though this "tip" is known far and wide in these parts!). This becomes SR 539 back in Washington State, which eventually meets up with Interstate 5 just north of Bellingham.

Alex

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: GUEST,Denise:^)
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 01:49 PM

Oops! To continue: "Well, just a jack and spare tire..." He leans over until his nose is almost touching mine: "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KINDA SMART ALECK?!?"

...Get the letter if you can!

Denise:^)

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: GUEST,Denise:^)
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 01:46 PM

I live in Michigan, and so going to Canada is a fairly common event. It all depends on who is at the border when you get there, and how he/she is feeling that day...

I've had perfectly uneventful crossings, and I've had nightmares: "Do you have anything in your trunk?" he asks. "No," I reply--thinking firearms, drugs, things to declare, etc. He leans over until his nose almost touches mine. Through gritted teeth, he seeths: "DON'T YOU HAVE A JACK AND A SPARE TIRE?!?" "Well, yes, but I thought you meant--"

He proceeds to have our car inspected and give us all kinds of grief...

Return trip: (no kidding--different border guard!) "Do you have anything in your trunk?" "Well,

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 01:25 PM

I was assuming that Mrrzy and children are U.S. Citizens. I have heard horror stories from people who are from Britain and Europe, but they require passports to cross the border, from what I understand all that is required of Canadian or U.S. Citizens to cross is a birth certificate.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: mg
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 01:14 PM

I dissent. I would keep trying to get the letter. They can be pretty tough at the border. My last trip I saw all sorts of problems. I would surely have their birth certificates and any other legal documents. I remember you are from another country and don't know if you are a citizen here yet or not. If not, beaurocracy escalates tremendously. Maybe call a Canadian consulate to make sure everything is o.k. Have phone numbers and addresses of those you are planning to visit. mg

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Hardiman the Fiddler
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 12:11 PM

One time as a single parent, I took my children to Canada. I happened to have with me the decree of divorce, and the chidren's birth certificate with me. We crossed and Windsor, but came back via Montreal. The customs official from the US was curious about a single dad with two very young children in the car; I smiled and said, "they are mine,would you like to see their birth certificates. The boy said cheerily, "I'll get them out of the glove compartment, Dad." The fellow said that it wasn't necessary...

I'm not an attorney, but my understanding of divorce law is that until there is a court ordered agreement mandating where and with whom the children should be, that either parent has equal access. You could be very clear in writing a letter to your ex detailing where you will be going, how to contact you, and when you will be back and send it via proof of mailing by the USPS. As long as you honor what you say in the letter, there shouldn't be any grounds for legal problems.

Also see your auto insurance agent to issue you a Canadian Auto Insurance Card.

Happy travels,

Greg

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 11:44 AM

I forgot to mention be sure to have the Children's Birth certificates with you. Apparently you require them for anyone crossing the border. Again, I've never been asked for them, but if they do stop you and the surnames match yours I'm sure that would be sufficient.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Wesley S
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 11:34 AM

We crossed the border just last month going north from Seattle. Of course we were 2 adult - no kids - but the border guard was very nice and casual. All he asked us was our reason for travel { vacation } and where we were from. When we replied Texas he asked if we had any guns. We said no and he waved us through. He didn't ask for or check any paperwork at all. But we heard from a local that about one out of every 100 cars was stopped for a complete search. We saw no evidence of that. Have a great time and check out Buchart Gardens if you're near Victoria. Also the Museum in Victoria has a great Totum Pole collection - lots of Native American artifacts. And for contrast The Rolling Stones on the big IMAX screen. Have a great time.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 11:26 AM

Mrrzy,

I am a Canadian, I have many relatives in the U.S. who we visit frequently. Both my sister and I are separated with Children. We have both made several trips into the U.S. with our children over the years. Neither one of us has ever had any difficulty going or coming. Only once was I asked if the little ones in the back were my children to which I replied yes, I was then asked where their mother was to which I replied "working", he then asked if she knew they were with me to which I replied yes and he waved us through. But this was only once and I'm sure that over the years we have probably crossed 30-40 times between us.

I wouldn't worry if I were you.

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 11:21 AM

yes~ but it was meant to be encouraging - single adults with kids in the car. (usually a caravan)

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 11:10 AM

Well, that's encouraging, but that also sounds sponsored... thanks!

Subject: RE: Help: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 11:04 AM

when crossing into Canada with youth group we have always had the signed permission slips from parents - but have never yet had to produce them.

Subject: Singles driving to Canada with kids
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Jul 01 - 10:58 AM

I'm supposed to be driving up to Vancouver, BC while in the NW, and am running into a snag, and would like to hear others' experience with this, if any. I don't feel too bad about posting this, since I'm going to be seeing so many Mudcatters on this trip...

The basic issue is that according to the Canadian authorities (websites, embassy, consulates), I need a letter from my X2B to cross into Canada with our children but not the X2B. Said X has promised to sign such the letter, and promised again, but basically (no surprises here) isn't going to. So my question is, will the Canadian customs people really suspect a single parent traveling with children of kidnapping? Or should I just drive up without any letter because it really isn't that big a deal? Does it matter that we are not legally divorced, and VA doesn't recognize Separated as a legal marital state, so here, on paper, we're still married? Can I get off on that technicality? Thanks, all. I can just see it... we get to the border, with nothing to declare, and somebody small from the back pipes up Hey, did you ever get that letter signed?