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Lyr Req: Ten Little Bottles

novotny@prairie.lakes.com 18 Jan 98 - 10:04 PM
Gene 18 Jan 98 - 11:59 PM
Gene 19 Jan 98 - 12:20 AM
dick greenhaus 19 Jan 98 - 12:52 PM
GUEST,Dan 11 Nov 05 - 10:31 PM
GUEST,Dan 11 Nov 05 - 10:34 PM
Midchuck 12 Nov 05 - 02:38 PM
GUEST 06 Oct 07 - 07:46 AM
GUEST,Bob Coltman 06 Oct 07 - 09:03 AM
Midchuck 06 Oct 07 - 09:45 AM
Bob Coltman 10 Oct 07 - 08:04 PM
Jim Dixon 26 Jan 12 - 06:55 PM
Jim Dixon 12 Dec 15 - 07:22 PM
Jim Dixon 12 Dec 15 - 07:48 PM
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Subject: Ten Little Bottles
From: novotny@prairie.lakes.com
Date: 18 Jan 98 - 10:04 PM

I'm looking for the words to the Johnny Bond song called "Ten Little Bottles". If someone could point me in the right direction to find them I would appreciate it.


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Subject: Lyr Add: TEN LITTLE BOTTLES (Johnny Bond)
From: Gene
Date: 18 Jan 98 - 11:59 PM

TRY THESE!

TEN LITTLE BOTTLES
Johnny Bond

A friend of mine gave me ten little bottles
Of some special stuff he'd brewed up himself
So I took it and hid it down in my basement
But my wife found out about it
And she told me to get rid of it or else
Since I didn't like the way she said, "Or else!"
I proceeded to carry out her instructions
I set the ten little bottles on the drainboard
Picked up the first bottle
Pulled the cork out of it, and poured it down the sink
All except one little swaller, which I drank
I picked up the next cork and pulled the sink out of it
And I poured it down the . . sink
All except one little swaller, which I drank
I picked up the next cork and pulled the sink out of it
And I poured it down the bottle
All except one teensy-weensy swaller, which I sank, er, drank
I usually have a little difficulty with this number
You see, I come from a great long line of stinkers, er! drinkers
I had an uncle that drank a quart a day, every day of his life
No kidding, he could drink a quart a day, and not even stagger
Heck, he couldn't even move, we told him, we says
"You better quit drinking that stuff, it's gonna kill you."
Sure enough, it killed him
He died last year at the age of 102


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Subject: RE: Ten Little Bottles
From: Gene
Date: 19 Jan 98 - 12:20 AM

MORE:

(Laughter) Don't laugh! We dug him up last week and he looks better'n some of you!

I want to tell you just one thing! you better not say anything about my wife, buster! I got the wifest nicest in the whole new-nited states!


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Subject: RE: Ten Little Bottles
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 19 Jan 98 - 12:52 PM

Interesting. Anyone know a copyright date for this? I seem to remember Henry Morgan doing it back in the early 1940's--slightly different last few lines.


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Subject: RE: Ten Little Bottles
From: GUEST,Dan
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:31 PM

A recording exists of Henry Morgan reading his "The Eighteen Bottles." Morgan wrote the bit. He recites it in a progessively tipsy voice. I believe it's available at various oldies record websites. It was recorded on a 45 rpm disc You'll fing it as "The Eighteen Bottles." I forgot the record label. It's a classic; hunt it down if you can. Listening to Morgan read it as a lush might is a roar. Stay sober!


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Subject: Lyr Add: EIGHTEEN BOTTLES (Henry Morgan)
From: GUEST,Dan
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:34 PM

Here is the original bit.
          The Eighteen Bottles, by Henry Morgan
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else...
   I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.
   I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and pured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
   I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
   I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.
   I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.
   I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass.
   I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.
   Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
   When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.
   I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.
   I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.
   I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.


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Subject: RE: Ten Little Bottles
From: Midchuck
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 02:38 PM

You know the difference between a drunk and an alchoholic? Us drunks don't haveta go to them damn meetings!

Peter.


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Subject: RE: Ten Little Bottles
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 07:46 AM

anyone know where i can download this from?


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Subject: RE: Ten Little Bottles
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 09:03 AM

A bit of folklore from the oldtime hiking, camping and climbing community.

A variation on the original Henry Morgan version got a good deal of circulation in the 1950s both around the US and abroad -- notably in the Tetons and other climbing locales -- from the fine itinerant singer Bill Briggs, always known as "Brigger."

He called it "Last Night I Decided to Give Up Drinking." It seems to have been an intermediate version between Morgan's and the Johnny Bond recording. He had found it on a little card, probably one of those printer's samples that circulated (and varied) so many fine songs and poems decent or otherwise.

Near the end of a long night's singing of his other classics -- like "Willie's Rare," "Horse Named Bill" and "Cuckoo Yodel" -- at his celebrated, and now historic, campfire "Teton Tea" parties at the Jenny Lake campground (and a thousand other places indoors and out), Brigger used to pull out this chestnut and deliver a deadpan descent into drunkenness that tied his listeners in knots.

Last I heard, Bill Briggs, now in his 70s, still made his home in Jackson, WY and was appearing regularly with a singing group there. Judging by the group's current privately issued CDs, however, he seems to have discarded much of his early repertoire and his unique style that was so influential on many of us. I kind of hope he still sings the old stuff in private.

Bob


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Subject: RE: Ten Little Bottles
From: Midchuck
Date: 06 Oct 07 - 09:45 AM

Met Briggs some years back. John Sidle, my old crony from the '60s in Cambridge, played with him in the "Stagecoach Band" that played every Sunday night in the Stagecoach Bar in Wilson, WY, just outside of Jackson. John was here recently, and said the band had just played a 2000th anniversary reunion concert - i. e., their 2000th Sunday at that bar. John Cooke, who was lead singer/rhythm guitar for the Charles River Valley Boys in the '60s, and later Janis Joplin's road manager, and has published several novels, was in that group too.

Bill walks and stands funny, bent forward. I was told that the reason is that he had damage to the hip joints which required fusing them. He chose to have them fused at an angle that would allow him to continue to ski, and the heck with how he walked or stood.

I was also told that he was the first person to ski the Grand Teton from the summit. The idea of anyone who would do that surviving into his 70s is rather amazing in itself.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten Little Bottles
From: Bob Coltman
Date: 10 Oct 07 - 08:04 PM

Yes, the story of his skiing the Grand Teton is true. I didn't see him do it, but I have it from Bill himself, and to the best of my knowledge he never claimed anything he didn't do.   It was legendary at the time -- he did it back around 1960. It is still astounding to this day, and I don't know if anyone has done it since. He had extraordinary fluid grace on skis, was a fine ski instructor (this later became his winter career), and introduced a great many of us to the European "wedeln" style, then new to the US. Bob


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Subject: Lyr Add: TEN LITTLE BOTTLES
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Jan 12 - 06:55 PM

The Johnny Bond album "Divorce Me C.O.D." (2003) contains two versions of this monologue: one is 3:38 in duration; the other is 7:04. The "complete" version includes some introductory remarks and jokes which I have omitted because they are not really part of the main story. The lines in italics are omitted from the short version. In other respects, the two versions seem identical. Therefore I think the short version is probably edited from the long one, probably to make it fit on the 45-rpm record released in 1965. Since editing in those days had to be done by splicing tape, they did a remarkably good job.

The music accompaniment is "Show Me the Way to Go Home" played softly and slowly in the background on an electric guitar, piano, and drums.

He begins slurring his words slightly after the first "drink" and the slurring gets progressively worse until the last drink, and then levels off.


TEN LITTLE BOTTLES – Complete Version
As recited (not sung) by Johnny Bond.

A friend o' mine gave me ten little bottles of some special stuff that he'd brewed up his-self,
So I took it an' hid it down in my basement,
But my wife found out about it an' she told me to get rid of it or else.
Since I didn't like the way she said "or else,"
I went down there an' proceeded to carry out her instructions.
I set the ten little bottles on the drain-board,
Picked up the first bottle, pulled the cork out of it, an' poured it down the sink—
That is, all except one little swaller, which I drank.
I picked up the next bottle, an' I pulled the cork out of it, an' I poured it down the sink—
All except one little swaller, which I drank.

I picked up the next bottle, an' I pulled the sink out of it, an' I poured it—down the sink—
All except one little swaller, which I drank.
I picked up the next sink, an' I pulled the bottle out of it, an' poured it down the cork—
All except one little swaller, which I drank.

I picked up the next cork, an' I pulled the sink out of it, an' I poured it down the bottle—
All except one teensy-weensy little swaller, which I sank.
I—I—I used to have a little difficulty with this number.
You see, I come from a great long line of stinkers—uh, drinkers.
I had an uncle that drank a quart a day ever' day of his life.
Heck! Me, I spill more'n that!
No kiddin'! He'd 'a' drink a quart an' not even stagger.
Heck, he couldn't even move.
We told him, we says, "You better quit drinkin' that stuff; it's gonna kill ya."
Sure enough, it killed him.
He died last year at the age of a hun'erd an' two.
Well, don't laugh! We dug him up last week; he looks better'n y'all do now.
Guy back here asked me, he says, "What's the differ'nce 'tween a drunk an' a alcoholic?"
Well, I'll tell you: us drunks don't have to attend all them danged ol' meetings, you know?
I don't like your bartenders here in Nashville; I'll tell you that.
I says t'this guy, "Gi' me some'n' cold an' full o' gin." He says, "Take my wife."
Y'see, ya got me all confused.
How many bottles have I got left?—
How many have I got?—
Five?—
He's seein' double; it's only two an' a half.

Don't you know one little thing:
You better not say nothin' against my wife, buster, 'cause I'll have you know—
I'll have you know, that I got the wifest little nice in the whole United States!


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Subject: Lyr Add: TEN LITTLE BOTTLES (MacDonald/Monaco)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 07:22 PM

A different song with a similar theme to those above:


TEN LITTLE BOTTLES
Words by Ballard MacDonald, music by James V. Monaco, ©1920.
As recorded by Bert Williams, 1920.

Just before the town went dry,
I made up my mind that I
Would never be ever without a little drop of rye.
All that I ever take is just one or two,
So I thought that ten little bottles would 'bout do.

Ten little bottles standin' on the shelf, like soldiers all in a line.
My next-door neighbor saw me bring 'em in, and that left only—

Nine little bottles standin' on the shelf, serenely waitin' their fate.
We missed a bottle when the gas man came, and that left only—

Eight little bottles standin' on the shelf, as rare as tickets to heaven.
The landlord phoned; he's gon' raise my rent, and that left only—

Seven little bottles standin' on the shelf, but my wife's fam'ly are mixed.
They always finish anything they start, and that left only—

Six little bottles standin' on the shelf, to keep my spirits alive.
Our cook is famous for Irish stew, and that left only—

Five little bottles standin' on the shelf, and they don't make it anymore, nossir!
I thought about it till I got the blues and that left only—

Four little bottles standin' on the shelf, between Sahara and me.
I don't remember how I got to bed, but that left only—

Three little bottles standin' on the shelf, but what's a fella to do?
The doctor said: "Brace up! It's a ten-pound boy!" and that left only—

Two little bottles standin' on the shelf; hard luck had only begun.
For my wife's mother had to get the 'flu', and that left only—

One little bottle standin' on the shelf, and though he's dyin' of thirst,
There's no man livin' gonna get a drop unless he kills me—

First, guide my steps, for I know not where I go.


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Subject: Lyr Add: TEN LITTLE BOTTLES IN THE SINK
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Dec 15 - 07:48 PM

This version is actually sung, not merely recited. But the singer gets progressively drunk in the cartoonishly overacted way that only Mel Blanc could do.


TEN LITTLE BOTTLES IN THE SINK
Words by Bud Green, music by Jesse Greer, ©1935.
As recorded by Mel Blanc.

Got a little present from a friend:
Ten little bottles
Of a potent alcoholic blend.
Ten little bottles!
But my wife, who hates to see me drink,
Ordered me to pour it in the sink.
Found the nicest way to put an end
To the ten little bottles,
Ten little bottles.

I took the first little bottle,
Pulled the cork and sneaked a little drink,
Took the second and started in to wink,
And the rest went trickling down the sink.

I took the third little bottle,
Pulled the cork and stole another drink,
Took the fourth and I began to blink,
'Cause the room was floating down the sink.

I opened the fifth little sink,
And poured the room in the bottle.
I tasted the sixth little room,
And down the line went seven, eight and nine.

I took the tenth little bottle,
Gave the cork another little drink,
Told the room to go to bed, I think,
And I poured myself into the sink.

Ten little bottles!
Ten little bottles!
That's the cockeyed story of
The ten little bottles in the sink,
And incident'ly, that's the last time I had a drink.


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