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Urban myths (and legends)

Alan of Oz 23 Jan 98 - 12:17 AM
Alan of Australia 23 Jan 98 - 12:19 AM
Joe Offer 23 Jan 98 - 01:21 AM
Bruce O. 23 Jan 98 - 01:38 AM
Alan of Australia 23 Jan 98 - 01:50 AM
Wolfgang Hell 23 Jan 98 - 04:39 AM
chet w 23 Jan 98 - 07:14 PM
Gene 23 Jan 98 - 10:58 PM
GaryD 23 Jan 98 - 11:21 PM
Whippoorwill 26 Jan 98 - 10:52 AM
Jerry Friedman 26 Jan 98 - 11:54 AM
dick greenhaus 26 Jan 98 - 06:08 PM
Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca 26 Jan 98 - 06:22 PM
Earl 26 Jan 98 - 06:52 PM
Jon W. 26 Jan 98 - 07:01 PM
Joe Offer 26 Jan 98 - 07:01 PM
Barry 26 Jan 98 - 07:18 PM
Charlie Baum 26 Jan 98 - 07:40 PM
Barry 26 Jan 98 - 08:20 PM
Roy K_ 27 Jan 98 - 08:15 AM
Roy K_ 27 Jan 98 - 08:19 AM
Bill in Alabama 27 Jan 98 - 08:34 AM
Jerry Friedman 27 Jan 98 - 12:11 PM
Jon W. 27 Jan 98 - 01:18 PM
Bill in Alabama 27 Jan 98 - 03:05 PM
Jen 27 Jan 98 - 07:53 PM
Jerry Friedman 27 Jan 98 - 11:26 PM
Earl 28 Jan 98 - 01:46 AM
Alan of Australia 28 Jan 98 - 03:22 AM
Alan of Australia 28 Jan 98 - 03:37 AM
Alan of Australia 28 Jan 98 - 08:20 AM
Alan of Australia 28 Jan 98 - 08:22 AM
Jon W. 28 Jan 98 - 12:44 PM
Jerry Friedman 28 Jan 98 - 03:20 PM
dick greenhaus 28 Jan 98 - 03:44 PM
Sheye 28 Jan 98 - 05:31 PM
Barry 28 Jan 98 - 05:34 PM
Elektra 28 Jan 98 - 05:47 PM
Bruce O. 28 Jan 98 - 06:07 PM
Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca 28 Jan 98 - 07:20 PM
Jen 28 Jan 98 - 10:06 PM
Charlie Baum 28 Jan 98 - 10:20 PM
GaryD 28 Jan 98 - 10:29 PM
Gene E 28 Jan 98 - 11:35 PM
Jen 28 Jan 98 - 11:50 PM
Earl 29 Jan 98 - 01:04 AM
Joe Offer 29 Jan 98 - 03:45 AM
Alan of Australia 29 Jan 98 - 07:38 AM
Bert 29 Jan 98 - 09:10 AM
Elektra 29 Jan 98 - 01:00 PM
Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca 29 Jan 98 - 07:38 PM
Alan of Australia 29 Jan 98 - 10:07 PM
alison 30 Jan 98 - 11:51 PM
Roy K_ 31 Jan 98 - 08:14 AM
GaryD 31 Jan 98 - 11:47 PM
Jack Hickman 31 Jan 98 - 11:50 PM
Alan of Australia 01 Feb 98 - 01:33 AM
Alan of Australia 01 Feb 98 - 01:39 AM
Barry 01 Feb 98 - 01:44 AM
alison 01 Feb 98 - 04:53 PM
rich r 01 Feb 98 - 05:09 PM
Alan of Australia 01 Feb 98 - 11:08 PM
Joe Offer 01 Feb 98 - 11:53 PM
GaryD 03 Feb 98 - 10:58 PM
Bert 04 Feb 98 - 09:10 AM
Whippoorwill 04 Feb 98 - 10:47 AM
Alice 04 Feb 98 - 12:41 PM
Jaxon 04 Feb 98 - 01:02 PM
Bob Landry 04 Feb 98 - 02:15 PM
Jen 04 Feb 98 - 03:38 PM
Barry 04 Feb 98 - 10:13 PM
RonU 04 Feb 98 - 11:47 PM
Bill in Alabama 05 Feb 98 - 08:26 AM
RonU 05 Feb 98 - 11:39 AM
Joe Offer 06 Feb 98 - 04:09 AM
alison 06 Feb 98 - 06:11 PM
Frank in the swamps 07 Feb 98 - 07:42 AM
Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca 07 Feb 98 - 09:23 PM
Jon W. 09 Feb 98 - 11:37 AM
Jon W. 09 Feb 98 - 11:51 AM
Joe Offer 09 Feb 98 - 03:27 PM
Jon W. 09 Feb 98 - 05:05 PM
alison 09 Feb 98 - 05:14 PM
David 11 Feb 98 - 02:15 PM
Earl 11 Feb 98 - 04:50 PM
Jon W. 11 Feb 98 - 06:25 PM
GaryD 12 Feb 98 - 12:06 AM
Bill 12 Feb 98 - 01:13 AM
Paul Stamler 12 Feb 98 - 03:37 AM
Bo 13 Feb 98 - 12:59 AM
Joe Offer 13 Feb 98 - 01:52 AM
13 Feb 98 - 12:41 PM
JMike 13 Feb 98 - 11:23 PM
Bert 16 Feb 98 - 05:01 PM
Whippoorwill 17 Feb 98 - 04:06 PM
Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca 17 Feb 98 - 07:06 PM
Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca 17 Feb 98 - 07:08 PM
GaryD 22 Feb 98 - 08:07 PM
Joe Offer 27 Jan 99 - 06:17 PM
Lonesome EJ 28 Jan 99 - 02:20 AM
Steve Parkes 28 Jan 99 - 03:59 AM
Alan of Australia 28 Jan 99 - 04:35 AM
Cara 28 Jan 99 - 09:23 AM
Dave 28 Jan 99 - 09:49 AM
Steve Latimer 28 Jan 99 - 10:46 AM
Allan S. 28 Jan 99 - 10:56 AM
Bill in Alabama 28 Jan 99 - 02:10 PM
Allan C. 28 Jan 99 - 03:59 PM
Bill in Alabama 28 Jan 99 - 05:22 PM
Art Thieme 28 Jan 99 - 06:04 PM
Will 28 Jan 99 - 06:44 PM
Michael Emory 28 Jan 99 - 11:13 PM
Steve Parkes 29 Jan 99 - 10:57 AM
Bill in Alabama 29 Jan 99 - 11:21 AM
Allan C. 29 Jan 99 - 01:45 PM
Armand (inactive) 29 Jan 99 - 02:57 PM
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Subject: Lyr Add: SEAMUS AND THE LADY (Alan Foster)
From: Alan of Oz
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 12:17 AM

G'day,
In the "Definitions Please ??" thread Elektra pointed us to urban legends, more commonly known in Oz as urban myths. This sort of story can be a good source of inspiration for songwriters. Check out the Ronald Opus thread for an example (although strictly speaking this isn't an urban myth because it's true).

Here's another example:-

  SEAMUS AND THE LADY

by Alan Foster

      E                   A           E
One Friday in May Seamus went on his way
                                   B7
From his job at the meatworks, in haste
       E                    A             E
As he did every week he disguised his physique
                                   B7
With a bag full of meat round his waist.
        A                         E
As he crossed o'er the road lanes one and two slowed
                         B7
So Seamus ran at a fast rate
         E                            A         B7
But the lady in lane three, well she never did see
          E          B7          E
Poor old Seamus till it was too late.

Well Seamus he rolled, as it knocked him stone cold
And his meat it spilled onto the road
The lady alighted, the entrails she sighted,
Her brain went into overload.
"Oh the poor man", she cried, "he's split down the side
His insides are all spilling out.
He's getting much worse, please call for a nurse
Or he'll die there isn't a doubt".

The police they arrived just as Seamus revived
And looked all around him in fear
He thought, "I've been caught with meat I've not bought
I've just got to get out of here."
So he picked up his meat, somehow rose to his feet
And hurriedly went on his way
The lady she spied him pick up his insides
And she fainted completely away.

Key change to F

Now Seamus will say when he speaks of that day
How he craftily made his escape
But the lady has thoughts of more gruesome sorts
And nightmares of terrible shape.
So if you're glad you're alive as you go for a drive
By the meatworks down by Homebush Bay
Just keep your eyes peeled for old Seamus O'Neill
And the meat that he carries away.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: Tune Add: SEAMUS AND THE LADY
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 12:19 AM

And here's the tune:

MIDI file: SEAMUS.MID

Timebase: 480

Name: Seamus And The Lady
TimeSig: 3/4 24 8
Key: E
Tempo: 120 (500000 microsec/crotchet)
Start
0960 1 59 127 0478 0 59 127 0002 1 64 127 0478 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0478 0 64 127 0002 1 59 127 0478 0 59 127 0002 1 64 127 0958 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 59 127 0238 0 59 127 0002 1 64 127 0478 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0478 0 64 127 0002 1 61 127 0478 0 61 127 0002 1 59 127 0958 0 59 127 0002 1 59 127 0238 0 59 127 0002 1 59 127 0238 0 59 127 0002 1 64 127 0958 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 66 127 2398 0 66 127 0002 1 68 127 0238 0 68 127 0002 1 69 127 0238 0 69 127 0002 1 71 127 0478 0 71 127 0002 1 71 127 0478 0 71 127 0002 1 71 127 0478 0 71 127 0002 1 71 127 0958 0 71 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 69 127 0718 0 69 127 0002 1 69 124 0238 0 69 124 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 68 127 0958 0 68 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 68 127 0958 0 68 127 0002 1 69 126 0238 0 69 126 0002 1 68 127 0238 0 68 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 64 127 2398 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 69 127 0718 0 69 127 0002 1 69 127 0238 0 69 127 0002 1 69 127 0958 0 69 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 64 127 0958 0 64 127 0002 1 59 127 0478 0 59 127 0002 1 64 127 0718 0 64 127 0002 1 64 126 0238 0 64 126 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 68 127 0718 0 68 127 0002 1 69 127 0238 0 69 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 66 127 2398 0 66 127 0002 1 68 127 0238 0 68 127 0002 1 69 127 0238 0 69 127 0002 1 71 127 0238 0 71 127 0002 1 71 127 0238 0 71 127 0002 1 71 127 0478 0 71 127 0002 1 71 127 0478 0 71 127 0002 1 71 127 0958 0 71 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 69 127 0238 0 69 127 0002 1 69 127 0718 0 69 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 68 127 0958 0 68 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 69 125 0718 0 69 125 0002 1 68 127 0238 0 68 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 68 127 0478 0 68 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 64 125 0947 0 64 125
End

This program is worth the effort of learning it.

To download the January 15 MIDItext 98 software and get instructions on how to use it click here

ABC format:

X:1
T:Seamus And The Lady
M:3/4
Q:1/4=120
K:E
B,2|E2E2B,2|E4EB,|E2E2C2|B,4B,B,|E4EF|G2A2G2|
F6|-F4GA|B2B2B2|B4EE|A3AA2|G4EE|G4AG|F2G2F2|
E6|-E4EE|A2A3A|A4A2|G2G2F2|E4B,2|E3EF2|G3AG2|
F6|-F4GA|BBB2B2|B4EE|AA3A2|G4EE|G2A3G|F2G2F2|
E4||

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 01:21 AM

Hey, Alan - great song. In the second verse:

"Oh the poor man", she cried, "he's split down the"
Split down the ---- What???

I tried guessing, but it didn't come.
Good, though.....
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bruce O.
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 01:38 AM

Some of the stuff still run across that was in A. Dundas and C. Prager's 'Urban Folklore from the Paperwork Empire', American Folklore Scociey Memoir Series #62, 1975.

I've stuck a few xeroxes I've gotten ahold of into my copy. Mine aren't really myths and legends though.

Let's not get into the old favorite one of the crocodiles in the sewers that pops up about every 10 years.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 01:50 AM

That @#$%^ copy&paste again!

The missing word is side.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Wolfgang Hell
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 04:39 AM

Other examples from recent threads: "Tate's Hell" is a good story but far from historical truth; "Wolfhound" in my eyes also is rather an urban, pardon: rural, myth than a factual report despite claims to the opposite. Many of the songs we like, even if the core of the stories have a historical basis, are urban or rural myths.
Wolfgang


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: chet w
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 07:14 PM

Here's one of my favorites. Every time I buy an old instrument for the going rate, I will soon meet someone who will say "you know, I got one just like that at a yard sale for five dollars". It is such a common line I've started using it myself when somebody I know buys an instrument.

Chet W.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Gene
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 10:58 PM

And how about this one when you tell a friend about some LPs you've been looking high and low for!!!

Oh! I wished I'da known you were looking for them...I gave them and 30 or 40 others the Goodwill Store - a week or so ago!


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: GaryD
Date: 23 Jan 98 - 11:21 PM

Hi, Guys!...Not sure if you'd agree, but I'd have to include "Max Goolis, the Street Sweeping Man!" by the Limelighters..(to the tune of John Henry)..I'm sure some of you would remember this tune about a public servant Max Goolis who's about to be replaced by an Automated Garbage Truck..and the race begins.." Isn't that sort of an Urban myth or legend? Speaking of the Limelighters, I recorded a tape of them doing a song about surgery (more specificaly a Vasectomy)..hilarious but I ran out of tape in the middle of the song...suppose it's on DT?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Whippoorwill
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 10:52 AM

Speaking of the Limelighters, one of their classics was "Vikki Dugan," based on a story and picture in Playboy (I think) Magazine back in the 50s about a girl who appeared at a party in a dress cut so low in the back it displayed what's known in the building trades as "carpenter's cleavage." Quite daring at the time.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 11:54 AM

"Urban legends" are the ones that people actually believe, such as the one from my teen years (late '70s) that the kid who played Mikey in the long-running Life Cereal commercial had suffocated from drinking soda pop and eating Pop Rocks candy at the same time. "Hey Mikey! He likes it!"


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 06:08 PM

Anybody recall the "spider eggs" myth that almost bankrupted a major bubble gum company in the early 70s-- Bubblicious, as I recall.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 06:22 PM

The Great Urban Myth in my border community -- Windsor, Ont.,across the river from Detroit, MI -- is that during Prohibition tunnels were dug under the river from the Canadian to the American side. Everyone has a grandfather or had a grandfather who knew somebody who carried booze across in one. I defy anyone to show me such a tunnel. Considering the trouble encountered when the early Victorian engineers attempted to tunnel under the Thames, how could a bunch of gangsters with farm labourers manage to do it, undetected, and without cave-ins and floods? How could it ever be cost-efficient? Would not such a tunnel be now a tourist attraction? Yet hardly a conversation about Prohibition can be had here without such a tunnel being mentioned and solemnly avowed, often by the same people who think that the Underground Railway which ended here was a real railway with tracks and locomotives. (Perhaps they used the same tunnel under the river?)

I suspect that some blind pig or roadhouse, or gangster's warehouse, might have had a short tunnel to the river, from which such an Urban Legend grew.

If I had a way with lyrics I'd write a song about The Great Phantom Booze Tunnel.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Earl
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 06:52 PM

The one I keep hearing is about tarantulas in a houseplant, usually a cactus, purchased by a friend of a relative or a relative of a friend. If you say it's famous urban myth people get livid.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jon W.
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 07:01 PM

Jan Harald Brunvand, a professor of folklore at the University of Utah, used to put out a column in the local newspaper here in Salt Lake City, about urban legends. He published at least one, but more likely a series of books about them. They may be available in your local libraries.

One of the ones I remember from waaay back was the one about the carpet layer smashing a lump, which he supposed was his pack of cigarettes under the carpet, flat with his hammer, only to find the pack on the seat of his truck. Then the lady of the house asks him if he's seen her canary...


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 07:01 PM

The one I heard was about a winter jacket made in India, that somebody right here in Sacramento bought at K-Mart (or so they say). Well, there were cobra eggs sewn into the jacket, and one hatched and the snake bit the kid who was wearing the jacket. When I first heard the story, I believed it - almost. I hadn't heard about urban myth yet.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Barry
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 07:18 PM

Growing up in the inner city (Boston) we had the one about the little ol lady whose cat died, not knowing what to do , she asked for advice from her friend, which she followed promtly, put the cat's carcuss in a paper bag & went down to the MTA station (at the time it was Dudley), she waited & as the bus pulled up & she got ready to board, a thief ran past her, snatching up bag & all, the little ol lady, smiled & turned to walk back home. Barry


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Charlie Baum
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 07:40 PM

I remember hearing that last story about the dead cat in a paper bag, except that the theft was set in a mall or shopping center parking lot. The first time I heard the story it was told by Maggie Pierce at a folk festival (the Eisteddfodd, I think).


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Barry
Date: 26 Jan 98 - 08:20 PM

Charlie, I was probaly around 10 at the time, putting it around 1961, pre mall era & Eisteddford (but not pre Maggie), the bus played an important part, once you got on, there wern't many drivers at the time that would open the door, once they got started, before the next stop, but that's streching it some.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Roy K_
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 08:15 AM

Haven't heard the flat parakeet story for a long time, but think it was presented as a "true" story. & anyone know the origen of the novelty tune, "the Sick Note?"


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Roy K_
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 08:19 AM

oops, posted question about the Sick Note & found right afterwards a current thread all about it: The Bricklayer's Song


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 08:34 AM

Jan Harold Brunvand has published a series of books which deal with urban legends. I may not be able to recall all of them, but I do remember a few: The Vanishing Hitchhiker; The Mexican Pet; The Baby Train; Curses, Broiled again; The Choking Doberman. Each book contains scores of urban legends which most of us have heard (and which many of us have believed)-- some dating back to Colonial times.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 12:11 PM

"Urban legends" are the ones that people actually believe, such as the one from my teen years (late '70s) that the kid who played Mikey in the long-running Life Cereal commercial had suffocated from drinking soda pop and eating Pop Rocks candy at the same time. "Hey Mikey! He likes it!"


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jon W.
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 01:18 PM

How about the one where the grandma drops dead while on vacation in Mexico, and the family ties her body to the top of the car to bring her back? That one made it into the movies (National Lampoon's Vacation) did it not?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 03:05 PM

Jon: What we call the "travelling Grandmother" legend did, indeed, make it into the movies, as did the legend of the dog tied to the back bumper of the auto. Many urban legends have been incorporated into movies, and I feel certain that many more will meet the same fate. Usually that is fatal to the legend, for in order to survive as such they must, as Jerry pointed out, be universally taken as the truth, and not something that someone saw in a movie.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jen
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 07:53 PM

Every once in a while, we get one going around, and I recognize it immediately, but when I tell people, they tend to not believe me until I go get one of Brunvand's books off the shelf and actually read it to them, word for word... the cookie recipe story is one that's gone around recently, and the snakes in the coat, which one of my coworkers still believes is true, even though I read her the story! I love urban legends, and know of one that's going around the internet right now that isn't a legend, but is really true, and that's what makes it so funny...

Jen


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 27 Jan 98 - 11:26 PM

It would be funny if one of these things actually happened--if someone really did find a tarantula in a bunch of bananas, say.

I'll bet none of Brunvand's books has any folkloric etymologies. People are amazingly willing to believe that common words come from acronyms--"news" from North East West South; "posh" from Port Out, Starboard Home (there seems to be a chance that it might be true). A high-school teacher told my class, before anyone heard of Van Halen, that "f*ck" comes from "For *nlawful Carnal Knowledge", and I just read in the Albuquerque Journal that the Spanish honorific "don" comes from a phrase meaning "of noble origin" (De Origen... uh... Nobile?). For the real etymologies, see a dictionary.

But then, I'm interested in etymology. I'll stop now.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Earl
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 01:46 AM

The term "trademark" comes from the Smith Brother's first names as you can see on any package of cough drops.


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Subject: Lyr Add: HOW GRANNY DIED (Alan Foster)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 03:22 AM

Jon,
Funny you should mention the one about the granny - that was going around here quite independantly of any movie:-

HOW GRANNY DIED

by Alan Foster (1985)

In the month of January, the weather being fair
Young Jim and Sue went camping, out in the open air.
But as they squeezed their luggage in to the old VW
Sue's Granny said, "I've never camped, do you mind if I come too?"

So they went and bought a roof rack and another sleeping bag
And made some room on the back seat, the springs began to sag.
With their sleeping bags and billy, their esky and their tent
And Granny in the back seat off to the bush they went.

Off to the New England plateau where the nights are cold and damp
They found a spot beside a creek and there they made their camp.
They chatted round the camp fire, the stars were shining bright
Until at last to bed they went, that cold and fateful night.
But it was all too much for Granny, the pace was much too fast,
And sometime in the dead of night old Granny breathed her last.

When Sue awoke next morning and cast her eyes around
She saw Granny laid out in her sleeping bag upon the ground.
Well Sue was broken hearted, her spirits really down,
She said to Jim, "We'll have to take her to the nearest town."

But Granny's limbs had stiffened, (it is a natural law),
And in the car she would not go where she had been before.
To get her in the back seat they saw they had no hope,
So up upon the roof rack they lashed her with some rope.

Because the roads were bumpy with many holes and ditches
They tied her there securely, round turn and two half-hitches.
Well they made it to the township and called upon the Law,
But the cop said, "Pull the other one, I've heard that one before."

So Jimmy tried some reason, "The least that you can do
Is come and have a look out front at our VW."
Well you wouldn't read about it, when they had a look out front
Some mongrel dog had pinched the car; the cop's remark was blunt:
"You nearly had me going, your story had some style,
Now get lost before I throw you in the cooler for a while."

But Sue was rearly frantic, she cried, "The story's true!
And if we don't find Granny I don't know what I'll do."
Her performance was convincing, so they had a look around,
And just around the corner the old Veedub they found.

Whoever swiped the battered bug had stopped to have a perv
At what was on the roof rack and must have lost his nerve.
He'd opened up the sleeping bag, saw Granny lying there
And didn't wait for intros, he just took off like a hare.

Although you won't believe this tale of Granny, Jim and Sue
And of their fateful camping trip, you should because it's true.
I heard it from a bloke whose cousin once removed or two
Knows the man who made the roof rack for the old VW.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 03:37 AM

Tune & chords to follow.

In case some of the song needs translation:-

Esky: portable cool box, usually filled with ice & beer.
New England: an area in northern New South Wales.
Pull the other one - another way of saying "you are pulling my leg".

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: Chords Add: HOW GRANNY DIED (Alan Foster)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 08:20 AM

Here are chords & tune to "Granny"

HOW GRANNY DIED

        D           A         D       D7    G
In the month of January, the weather being fair
       D                G           A7           D
Young Jim and Sue went camping, out in the open air.
    G                       D                G    D
But as they squeezed their luggage in to the old VW
        G                 D                    A7             D
Sue's Granny said, "I've never camped, do you mind if I come too?"


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Subject: Tune Add: HOW GRANNY DIED (Alan Foster)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 08:22 AM

Melody:

MIDI file: GRANNY.MID

Timebase: 480

Name: How Granny Died
TimeSig: 4/4 24 8
Key: D
Tempo: 120 (500000 microsec/crotchet)
Start
1440 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 62 127 0478 0 62 127 0002 1 62 127 0478 0 62 127 0002 1 62 127 0718 0 62 127 0002 1 62 127 0238 0 62 127 0002 1 64 127 0478 0 64 127 0002 1 64 127 0958 0 64 127 0002 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 62 127 0718 0 62 127 0002 1 62 127 0238 0 62 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 67 127 1438 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 66 127 0718 0 66 127 0002 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0958 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 64 127 0718 0 64 127 0002 1 57 127 0238 0 57 127 0002 1 61 127 0478 0 61 127 0002 1 64 127 0478 0 64 127 0002 1 62 127 1438 0 62 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 62 127 0718 0 62 127 0002 1 62 127 0478 0 62 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 67 127 0718 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0238 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 66 127 1438 0 66 127 0002 1 66 127 0478 0 66 127 0002 1 67 127 0238 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0718 0 67 127 0002 1 67 127 0478 0 67 127 0002 1 69 127 0478 0 69 127 0002 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 62 127 0718 0 62 127 0002 1 62 127 0478 0 62 127 0002 1 64 127 0238 0 64 127 0002 1 66 127 0238 0 66 127 0002 1 64 127 0718 0 64 127 0002 1 57 127 0238 0 57 127 0002 1 61 127 0478 0 61 127 0002 1 64 127 0478 0 64 127 0002 1 62 127 1438 0 62 127
End

This program is worth the effort of learning it.

To download the January 15 MIDItext 98 software and get instructions on how to use it click here

ABC format:

X:1
T:How Granny Died
M:4/4
Q:1/4=120
K:D
FE|D2D2D3D|E2E4FE|D3DF2A2|G6G2|F3FF2F2|G2G4G2|
E3A,C2E2|D6F2|G2G2G2A2|FD3D2EF|G3GG2A2|F6F2|
GG3G2A2|FD3D2EF|E3A,C2E2|D6||

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jon W.
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 12:44 PM

Alan, wonderful song, thanks for sharing.

Jen, the cookie recipe one certainly is going around, I got it from my sister a couple of months ago.

Note that even though urban legends may not be strictly true in the historical sense, they do often reveal the true feelings of the perpetuators on the subject of the legend. For example, it was obvious that when my sister sent me the cookie recipe, she at least felt sympathetic to the feeling of anger at large corporations making unreasonable profits by charging unreasonable prices.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jerry Friedman
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 03:20 PM

Thanks for the song! The best part is "ditches" and "half-hitches".


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 03:44 PM

Speaking of urban legends, does anyone remember when aspirin plus CocaCola was supposed to be a sure-fire way of destroying a standoffish girl's will and consciousness?

And then there was the thing about smoking bananas.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Sheye
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 05:31 PM

The aspirin/coke thing was touted as a sure-fire form of birth control. (BTW, aspirin really DOES work. The trick is for the female to hold two tablets between her knees.) The writer will not be responsible for failed attempts...

There was a recent occurence where a Canadian was travelling in the states with his elderly father. The father died and the son brought the body home. This made the news because he had failed to acquire the proper permits in the state the man died in... to transport a body.

Tim: I think this was an Eastern thing; do you remember the details?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Barry
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 05:34 PM

The one about Coke & asprin sipped through a straw, there was a little soda joint across the street from the church/ school I attended as a kid , around seventh grade (1964 ?), we were forbidden by the nuns to enter the store because some of the kids were sipping soda through a straw (with the asprin). Some of us figured it must've been because that store didn't support one of the many many drives/contrabutions. Barry


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Elektra
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 05:47 PM

I recall the smoking-banana-peels-thing from _The Anarchist's Cookbook_, that notorious goldmine of disinformation. (Though some of it may have been valid, other bits were dangerously inaccurate. YIKES!)


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bruce O.
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 06:07 PM

It's not easy to beat some old urban legends. I just posted one, Battle between the Ale-Wife and Sea Crab.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 07:20 PM

I do remember the newspaper article about the man bringing home his dead relative from the states, but for lack of a citation I didn't want to mention it lest I be accused of perpetrating another urban myth.:) But since two of us did indeed read it, it must be true.

I have difficulty believing that the outlandish accidents referred to at the Darwin Awards web page happened, but the one about the show-off lawyer falling through the window at a party is indeed true if you can believe the Toronto Star and the Lawyer's Weekly.

I thought Coke and Aspirin were supposed to make you high. By the time that myth came my way I had better things at hand.

Has anyone at any time actually captured a crocodile or alligator in the sewers of any city in North America? Or anywhere? (Sounds like something that could happen in Oz) I have read accounts of people finding snakes in their toilet bowls, escaped from the apartments of lunatic neighbours, and even know a man who says his brother in law killed a rat that came up the toilet -- but crocs and alligators? Are they still protected species when they are in your sewer pipe?

My dad says that when he was a kid it was asserted that eating lobsters and ice cream together would kill you. That I do believe . . .


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jen
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 10:06 PM

heh, I remember the one about the spider eggs in the bubblegum and I ate it anyway (strange child) Also remember the one about the "little boy from England who was dying and wanted to get in the Guiness Book of world records for most cards received..." that one's going around as an email urban legend now.

And the cookie one's recipe does really make good cookies...

My favorite one is about the girl who has her hair up in a beehive, doesn't wash her hair for weeks, and a cockroach gets in her hair and eats through her scalp to her brain and she dies. And the one about the girl who is about to go on a date, her hairdryer breaks and she attempts to dry her hair in the microwave...

can't tell I love these things, can you?

The Hook story was published in a recent "Ghosts in Ohio" book(don't remember the exact title) as a true story. I'm still debating whether to write the author and tell him its an urban legend.

Jen

Jen


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Charlie Baum
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 10:20 PM

Sometimes these urban legends are referred to as FOAF stories: Friend Of A Friend. With that in mind:

COMPUTER VIRUS WARNING...

I just received word from a friend that there is a new computer virus going around called _____. He had the news forwarded from his friend. Therefore, you know that the story is true because it comes from a friend of a friend. Forward this warning to everybody you know. Since you were told by a friend, your friends will have received word of it from a FOAF. Then they can forward it to their friends.

So you see, internet e-mail is simply the newest means of transmission for the oldest categories of tales.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: GaryD
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 10:29 PM

I would think the numerous stories of Alligators flushed down the privy in New York as they got too big as pets..perpetuating the legend that they live off the rats (& occasional sanitation workers) would have to be included in my list of urban myths.. I know that one became a "B" (or "C") Science fiction movie..which I still loved, though somewhat far fetched!.. Gary


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Gene E
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 11:35 PM

Dick Greenhaus,

I got started droppin' aspirin in coke back in '69, only one year after I started smokin' banana. Bean doin' both ever sinse.

Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jen
Date: 28 Jan 98 - 11:50 PM

yeah, and spider eggs do make softer bubble gum. *grin*


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Earl
Date: 29 Jan 98 - 01:04 AM

Elektra mentioned The Anarchist's Cookbook as a source of disinformation. There is a rumor that it was actually produced by the CIA with deliberately flawed bomb recipes so that would-be anarchists would blow themselves up.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Jan 98 - 03:45 AM

Hey, I thought the Coca-Cola and aspirin was supposed to raise your blood pressure so high you'd flunk your draft physical. Didn't know about the aphrodysiac qualities, though. The nuns didn't tell us about THAT. The nuns were really good with their own brand of Catholic urban myth, though. We used to love those gory stories about the saints and what they did to avoid a Fate Worse Than Death.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 29 Jan 98 - 07:38 AM

G'day,
I've had a frog appear in a toilet bowl, and upstairs as well. No crocodiles though.

The town of Katherine in the Northern Territory has been flooded this week following a tropical cyclone. There was a police report of a crocodile swimming down the main street. I doubt that it would have been a man-eating saltwater croc, probably a harmless (but don't put your hand in its mouth) freshwater croc - it's too far from the coast. Having been in Katherine a few months ago in the dry season and having seen how far the water must rise to flood the town I can only say that the volume of water involved is beyond comprehension.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bert
Date: 29 Jan 98 - 09:10 AM

Re: "travelling Grandmother"

My second wife was a nurse anesthetist working in Saudi Arabia.
On one occasion she had to escort a very sick patient back to The States.

She was given strict orders that "should the patient die on the journey, don't tell anyone until the wheels touch the runway in the US".
Fortunately, the patient survived the journey.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Elektra
Date: 29 Jan 98 - 01:00 PM

Earl -- the CIA, huh? Sounds like a *conspiracy* to me...

Jen -- that one about the little boy WAS actually true. However, he has now been in remission for five years (cancer, Make-a-Wish-Foundation was the original story frame) and in fact, if you call make-a-wish that is the first thing you hear on the recording, along with "STOP SENDING CARDS!!"


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca
Date: 29 Jan 98 - 07:38 PM

If I found a frog in the toilet bowl I'd immediately suspect the nearest little boy. But it might be terrifying in Oz -- don't you have those giant poisonous frogs there, or is that another Urban (or Outback) legend? After watching nature shows on PBS (back in the days when I had a TV) I'd believe anything about the critters in Australia.

As for the Anarchist Cookbook, if you go to any gun show, at least in Michigan, there will be at least one vendor selling a wall full of such books, and many of the outlandish conspiracy variety. Why any subversive would want to make a machine gun out of junk yard parts is beyond me, as it would seem to me to be easier to buy one from some hoodlum in a bar like proper criminals do.

Back before my doctor made me switch to Tylenol, I would wash down Aspirin (with codeine, no less) with Coca-Cola and it didn't have any ill effect other than eating a hole in my stomach lining. Having learned much about this subject, I can inform you that it is a myth, urban or otherwise, that spicy food will hurt your stomach. But I will believe anything about Coca-Cola. It is far healthier to drink wine.

When I lived in New Brunswick in eastern Canada, I heard or read more than once a story about a preserved pre-prohibition bar in Saint John. The owner closed it after prohibition (the laws differed across Canada, as they still do) vowing to reopen it. When taverns were finally allowed again he or his survivors didn't like the fact that the law would force them to alter the bar, so they left it as it was, dusty and locked up. Can someone from Saint John tell me if there was ever such a saloon, and if so, was it ever reopened?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 29 Jan 98 - 10:07 PM

G'day,
My frog was just a little green one. I'd have suspected a small boy if there had been one, but there wasn't that day. We don't have any terrifying frogs in our part of the country but the cane toads in Queensland are a problem, poisonous as well.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: alison
Date: 30 Jan 98 - 11:51 PM

Hi,

We don't need any poisonous frogs, we've got deadly spiders instead!! (Not to mention all the other beasties out to get you!!!)

Nobody has mentioned the one about the man driving up the road and hitting something, when he got out of the car there was a cat lying stunned at the side of the road. So he got an implement out of the boot and walloped the cat to put it out of it's misery....... and drove home.

A few hours afterwards the police arrived at his door and said that a little old lady accused him of murdering her cat. He explained what had happened.... the police asked could they look at his car.... and there stuck in the wheel arch was the cat he had actually hit. The one he killed had been lying having a sleep at the edge of the road.

Or there's the one about the little old lady hitch-hiker.... you know the one where the driver looks in the rear-view mirror and sees that she has really hairy hands...... this one came out around the time of the Yorkshire Ripper...... of course they found an axe in the car.

Or the one about the couple whose car beaks down in the woods, he goes off to get help.......... and meets the axe weilding maniac..................... she hears banging on the roof................. the police arrive.... tell her not to look back..... and there's the maniac beating her boyfriends severed head off the roof of the car. (These are great for telling in the dark in a tent!!)

Slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Roy K_
Date: 31 Jan 98 - 08:14 AM

When I was a boy, I heard "true" stories that seemed to confirm the peculiar reputation of a certain small town north of Tucson. For example, the man who shot the mailman for not bringing him any mail, etc.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: GaryD
Date: 31 Jan 98 - 11:47 PM

Alan, we do hear a lot of exotic stories in the states about your homeland. With our favorite Crocodile Dundee character doing Car commercials every ten minutes, I'm sure you'd be amused? (perhaps not the right word) by our distorted perception of your lifestyle in Australia. I for one am glad you don't have to fend off reptiles in your bathroom everyday, it would make you late for your next gig.. You might comment on some nasty tiny blue octopuses, though, we heard are troublesome on a National Geographic Special on mollusks. To get back to the subject maybe some of our friends from England can comment on the great "Jack the Ripper" legend. Is there any solid information about who he really was? For that matter, is there any songs about it?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jack Hickman
Date: 31 Jan 98 - 11:50 PM

To answer Tim Jacques post regarding the booze tunnel in Windsor during Prohibition, when I first went to Windsor in 1953, there were lots of stories about the old railway tunnel at the foot of Dougall Ave., I think. It had been built before the existing D/W tunnel, and not inconceivably could have been used to carry booze to the states. I know that in more recent years, people have been caught smuggling cigarettes by walking through the tunnel from Detroit. (If that's not true, maybe we have another urban legend, those Windsor people will believe anything when it comes to smuggling. Most methods, no matter how outlandish, have been tried.)

Jack Hickman


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 01 Feb 98 - 01:33 AM

Gary,
While Alison overstates the case about our creepy-crawlies, if you look hard enough in any backyard in Sydney you'll find a few redback spiders which are closely related to the black widow. They are very timid and there is an antivenom. No-one has died from a redback bite since 1956. A much more aggressive spider is the Sydney funnelweb. They are sometimes found in backyard pools & seem to live under water for many hours. They have also been known to come inside & get in people's shoes. They probably have the nastiest venom of any spider in the world. Fortunately there is now an antivenom. Bites are pretty rare & no-one has died for a few years now (that I know of).

Our bush also has its fair share of poisonous snakes, some pretty nasty, but if you walk noisily through the bush you'll never see one. A bloke was killed by a tiger snake a few years ago in the area where I go camping, but he was pretty silly - walking barefoot in the bush on his own.

The blue ringed octopus is sometimes a problem on our beaches, they can finish you off in minutes but I heard of a fatality for years.

OK this sounds bad but it's not really - you're more likely to be struck by lightening.

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 01 Feb 98 - 01:39 AM

That should be "haven't heard of a fatality"


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Barry
Date: 01 Feb 98 - 01:44 AM

Alan, what about the sae wasp or dreaded sea snake, while livin on Maui I met a good bit of Aussies that came up for the weather, but after talking for a while I started to wonder if it wasn't to get away from things that swim (in fresh & salt), but I'm sure I could just use a little enlightenment, really I'm a city fella & don't know what to belive anymore. The older I get the more I (don't know or is it can't remember). Barry


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: alison
Date: 01 Feb 98 - 04:53 PM

Hi,

I have to admit I am a bit paranoid about the beasties in Oz, although in the 6 years I've been here I've only see red backs spiders, (quite cute really..... and OK if you leave them alone) and one brown snake, hiding in some wood in my garden, (and yes, I do live in the city).

On the subject of beaches.... I'm not game to go in... between the "blue-bottles" (sea wasps).. nasty little blue critters that look like condoms with long tentacles attached, and with a nasty sting. (Apparently they can't get you if you swim with tights on.....), Stone fish, poisonous shells, deadly box jellyfish and crocodiles, (thankfully up the other end of the country)..... and of course sharks!!!

The blue ringed octopus gets washed up into rock pools and is deadly. apparently the venom is short lived, so if someone resuscitates you for 30 mins or so , you should be OK...... there's a comforting thought.....

But then I am a bit of a wimp, having come from a country where the worst thing we had was wasps (which by the way the Aussies are pretty scared of.) Seeing as St. Patrick got rid of all the other nasties.....

Alright now that I've scared all of you out of coming to Australia, it's really quite a nice place and like I say I've only heard about most of the things, not actually seen them. If you want to get really paranoid the is a great Reader's Digest book called "Australia's dangerous creatures."

Slainte

Alison


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: rich r
Date: 01 Feb 98 - 05:09 PM

For an urban myth turned into song, check out "Turnpike Tom" by Steve Goodman. This ones a variation of the old buried treasure stories, there are directions to a location where one can find a key or map or something that will get you the free windfall wealth.

rich r


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 01 Feb 98 - 11:08 PM

G'day,
Since Alison has got started on our creepy-crawlies here are some tales which are all true although they might sound like myths:-

A popular song some years ago started "There was a redback on the toilet seat when I was there last night, I didn't see him in the dark but boy! I felt his bite."

This happens occasionally in areas where there are outside dunnies - possibly less than 1% of our population. It's mostly a male problem of course.

I don't personally know any victims of such attacks, but I have a friend who answered the call of nature in the bush and was stung by a bee, another who picked up a tick.

The best one happened to my mate in Darwin. In his early days there he went bush with a local and at some stage they crossed a creek. Before crossing the local stripped completely, my mate left his underpants on. After crossing they spent some time removing leeches. Much later he discovered his error - the leech was huge and blood red. The bodily part it was attached to was a fraction of its usual size. The leech had to be surgically removed. The nurses in Darwin hospital thought it was a great joke. His new bride didn't - he took weeks to recover.

Then there's the old joke: Two blokes are in the outback; one of them feels the urge and fronts up to a tree. He doesn't see the tiger snake coiled in a fork of the tree. The snake sees the intrusion as a threat to his territory and strikes. He yells to his mate to call the flying doctor for advice. The mate does so and is told "You'll have to suck the venom out or he'll die".
He goes back to the victim who says, "What did he say?"
"He says yer gonna die."

Cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 01 Feb 98 - 11:53 PM

Gee, Alan, I thought that "He says yer gonna die." story was about a Forty-niner in the California gold rush who got bit by a rattlesnake. Our natural hazards here are overrated, too - but do watch out for those drive-by shootings....
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: GaryD
Date: 03 Feb 98 - 10:58 PM

Wow, I love it!..about the only thing we have here in Minnesota that's dangerous is a mosquito, which may carry equine encephalitis (though we are not horses, it can be serious to humans..about 1 or 2 cases a year). Of course we have our tales of natural recycling (I saw a woodtick on the back of a mosquito!), & the infamous snow snakes!

Also I notice no one picked up on the Jack the Ripper thought.. Maybe there are no songs about it.. However I always thought every sensational story had its ballads, like Lizzie Borden, or the poem about Ed Geen, the cannibal from Wisconsin who died a few years ago in the Mental hospital.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bert
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 09:10 AM

Of course the mosquito is the most dangerous animal of all. It kills well over a million people each year with malaria alone. That's not including the other fatal diseases it can carry.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Whippoorwill
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 10:47 AM

Is it true that the mosquito is Minnesota's state bird?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alice
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 12:41 PM

The first urban legend that I heard (in the 60's) was a variation of the beehive hairdo story. They way I heard it, the woman had ratted up her hair and sprayed it well with hairspray to keep the shape for many days without having to shampoo and restyle. It was a black widow that built its nest there, and KILLED HER. This was another way to keep us girls from trying any of those naughty new fashion trends. alice


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jaxon
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 01:02 PM

Alan, I heard that "he says you're going to die" line said by a wife to her husband on a desert golf course. It's funny any way you hear it. Jack Murray


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bob Landry
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 02:15 PM

In the 1700's, the British built a fortress in what is now downtown Halifax, Nova Scotia. Now in it's fifth (?) incarnation, it is known as the Citadel, the very same Citadel Stan Rogers mentions in "Fishermen's Wharf". When I lived in Halifax in the mid-1970's, I woke up to the news on the radio that workers had discovered a tunnel leading down from the Citadel, under the harbour to George's Island (former site of another British military installation) and under the island they had discovered an abandoned storeroom full of treasure. The mayors of Halifax and its neighbouring city Dartmouth, the Premier on Nova Scotia and other officials were interviewed live and seemed to be jockeying to see who would get the lion's share of the booty. Then I looked at the calendar - April 1st.

This ties in to an old Nova Scotia legend that ancient pirates buried treasure on Oak Island, about 45 minutes south of Halifax. A depression under an old oak tree on the island was discovered by two boys in the late 1800's. They began to dig but encountered a flat stone with runic symblols etched on top. The removed the stone and went home. The next day, the tunnel was flooded and has remained flooded ever since. Many people have tried in successive attempts to get to the bottom of the mystery. They've drilled, excavated, built a dam all around the island to try and stop the flooding. Literally millions of $ were spent and a number of people have died in the attempt to drain the pit and find what may be down there. One thing for sure, the pit is man-made, but it remains flooded and may keep its keeps secrets forever. It's a fascinating legend.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jen
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 03:38 PM

I've heard of that. I thought it sounded really neat. We have a legend here, too, about the last train robbery in Clermont County, evidently the bandits went right past our house, with the sherrif and his men right behind them. They got caught about 15 minutes up the road, and didn't have the money... and no one know where it is to this day. We used to go treasure hunting when I was little. The only neat thing I ever found was a little silver box with a cross on top under a fallen down tree... No treasure, though.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Barry
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 10:13 PM

Jazz Mafie, infamous Binks Robbery, lived not to far from me, as kids his nephew told me the familiy & every one else who could gain access to his basement would tear through walls to find the loot. Some say it's all spent , only $25,000 was ever recovered, others still say it's somewhere in the house. Barry


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: RonU
Date: 04 Feb 98 - 11:47 PM

I remember the widely publicized incident of the fellow putting new shingles on his roof. He tied a safety rope around his waist - the rope stretched over the peak and was tied to the bumper of his car. He forgot to tell his wife what he had done. Of course she needed the car to go to the store and ... Honest, I know this happened - I've heard it too many times in too many different cities for it to be only a legend.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 05 Feb 98 - 08:26 AM

If you have heard it many times in many different cities, Ron, then that fact stregthens the liklihood that it's a legend.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: RonU
Date: 05 Feb 98 - 11:39 AM

I'm sorry tone of voice can't be conveyed by words - actually, I was being facetious.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 06 Feb 98 - 04:09 AM

Yeah, Ron, but half of the stories above were told to me by nuns - so they must be true, right????

With 16 years of Catholic education, I knew lots of urban myths long before they came to be known as such. I swear that most of those stories were made up by nuns. The Good Sisters were probably supposed to be praying, and they got bored and started making up stories instead. I have to say, though, that most of the nuns I've known have been absolutely wonderful women. Some were absolutely brilliant, too - but they weren't the ones who told the good stories.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: alison
Date: 06 Feb 98 - 06:11 PM

Hi

Nobody actually elaborated and I'm curious..... What was the one about the cookies?

Slainte

Alison


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Frank in the swamps
Date: 07 Feb 98 - 07:42 AM

Since I still haven't figgered the html I'll have to give you the long route...

http://snopes.simplenet.com/spoons/spoon.html

I've always been fond of stories about Slappy Hooper, they're not urban legends actually, they're more tall tales that came along too late in history to become folklore like Paul Bunyan & Pecos Bill.
Slappy Hooper was the worlds greatest sign painter, he could do things like; paint a sky hook to hang his scaffold off of in order to reach difficult places, or paint a fireplace with a warm blazing fire to warm up all the poor hoboes' huddled around on the streets in the winter time. He could even paint a lunch.
I wonder if the impulse behind the urban legend isn't often the same force that drove the stories from the old "liars bench" because whenever I hear these stories (did you hear the one about the arc welder who accidently sparked off the disposable lighter in his shirt pocket... got burned baaad) it's usually in the context of a tale swapping that has an element of one-ups-manship to it.
Frank I.T.S.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca
Date: 07 Feb 98 - 09:23 PM

When I worked in a pulp and paper mill in the late 1970's, early 1980's we were discouraged from keeping bic lighters in our pockets if we were working around welders. I saw a welding spark set a fire there and I wouldn't be in the least surprised if a welding spark could burn through your trousers and into the lighter.

It is indeed true that if you throw them against the ground with great force they will explode, but I haven't seen them burn when this is done.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jon W.
Date: 09 Feb 98 - 11:37 AM

At last month's Roundtable (a meeting for Scout leaders) the discussion leader told two stories about lighters - one was of a kid who threw an "empty" butane lighter into a fire, and it exploded, putting a rock into the kid's forehead and knocking down two tents by the force of the blast. The other was the welder story. The first was told in first person, i.e. the guy claimed he was there when it happened. Has anyone heard the first story as an urban legend?

Alison, here is the "Cookie Recipe" as I received it from my sister. In the days before the internet, it would have been transmitted by a chain letter. To the rest of you, I apologize for taking up forum space.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jon W.
Date: 09 Feb 98 - 11:51 AM

Oops I hit submit before I hit "paste". Note: one clue that this story is folklore is that the writer claims to look at her "VISA statement from Nieman Marcus" and notices the charge for the cookie recipe. Since when do retail businesses send out VISA statements? VISA statements come from the bank that issues the card! And they are not itemized, they just have the total of each purchase. And if it was the charge account statement from Nieman Marcus, as seems more likely, why did the "informant" call it a VISA statement? Obviously this is from oral tradition.

Date: 5/23/97 5:17pm Subject: Re: [S S] Cookies

Thought some of you might be interested in this, I know I hate it when a company tries to stomp on the little guy! The Power of the Internet My daughter and I had just finished a salad at Neiman Marcus Cafe in Dallas and decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman Marcus Cookie". It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the receipe and the waitress said with a small frown, "I'm afraid not". Well, I said, "Would you let me buy the receipe?" With a cute smile, she said, "Yes!" I asked how much and she responded, "Only two fifty, it's a great deal!" I said with approval, just add it to my tab. Thirty days later, I receive my VISA statement from Neiman Marcus and it was $285.00. I looked again and I remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said "Cookie Recipe $250.00". That's outrageous!! I called Neiman's Accounting Department and told them the waitress said that it was "two fifty" which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any possible interpretation of the phrase. Neiman Marcus refused to budge. They would not refund my money because, according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You had already seen the recipe we absolutely will not refund your money at this point". I explained to her the criminal statutes which govern fraud in Texas, I threatened to refer them to the Better Business Bureau and the State's Attorney General for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you want, we don't give a crap and we are not refunding your money". I waited, thinking of how I could get even or even try and get any of my money back. I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250, and now I'm going to have $250 worth of fun". I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e mail account has a $250 cookie recipe from Neiman Marcus... for free. She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this". I said, "Well, you should have thought of that before you ripped me off", and slammed down the phone on her. So here it is! Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250 for this ... I don't want Neiman Marcus to EVER get another penny off of this recipe... $250 Cookie Recipe 1 cup Butter 2 cups Flour 1 tsp Baking Soda 1 cup Sugar 2 1/2 cups Blended Oatmeal * 12 oz Chocolate Chips 1 cup Brown Sugar 1/2 tsp. Salt 4 oz Hershey Bar (Grated) 2 Eggs 1 tsp Baking Powder 1 1/2 cups Chopped Nuts (optional) 1 tsp Vanilla * Blend oatmeal in a blender to a fine powder Cream butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder and baking soda in another mixing bowl. Add dry mixture to butter mixture. Add chocolate chips, grated Hershey bar and nuts. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 50 cookies. This is a recipe worth $250.00??!?!?!


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Feb 98 - 03:27 PM

So, Jon, have you tried the recipe? How do the cookies taste?
Now, when I want cookies, I do plumbing repairs for my ex-wife. She gave me a big batch of chocolate chip cookies just yesterday. It cost me two faucet fixes and a dishwasher door repair. And for a toilet repair, another woman bought me lunch last week. Gee, maybe I should go into business.
But back to the cookies - the recipe sounds like it would make a pretty good batch of cookies. Are they good?
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jon W.
Date: 09 Feb 98 - 05:05 PM

You're right Joe, it does sound good. I haven't tried it yet, but I'll give it a shot sometime soon and post the results (at least my impression of the results--the only cookie you can get from the forum is the one Max gives you when you register:-)


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: alison
Date: 09 Feb 98 - 05:14 PM

Hi,

Thanks guys. I looked at that urban myths site (it's a goody.....found lots of stuff I'd heard over the years.)

Can't try your recipe though, we don't have Hershey bars.

I seem to remember Phil Donahue doing a programe though where he gave out the secret recipe to Hershey bars, KFC's special mix of herbs and spices etc...........

Slainte

Alison


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: David
Date: 11 Feb 98 - 02:15 PM

Alice wrote:

<< The first urban legend that I heard (in the 60's) was a variation of the beehive hairdo story. They way I heard it, the woman had ratted up her hair and sprayed it well with hairspray to keep the shape for many days without having to shampoo and restyle. It was a black widow that built its nest there, and KILLED HER. This was another way to keep us girls from trying any of those naughty new fashion trends.>>

There's another variation that was sent to me wherein the woman's brains were eaten by rats. The reason being that she had used sugar-water to "fix" her beehive hairdo in place.

The legend is posted at: http://urbanlegends.miningco.com/library/blbyol18.htm

-David


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Earl
Date: 11 Feb 98 - 04:50 PM

Looking through the urban legend web site that David posted, I saw one that I heard about a month ago. Gang members drive around at night with their headlights off. If anyone tries to be helpful and make them aware that their lights are off, they are chased by the gang members and murdered when caught. I heard this was happening in Miami, Florida. The contributer said it was in the Pacific Northwest.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Jon W.
Date: 11 Feb 98 - 06:25 PM

We had rumors of that gang activity about a year ago in the Salt Lake City area.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: GaryD
Date: 12 Feb 98 - 12:06 AM

Back Again..Talking about gangs reminds me of the legend about a truckdriver having coffee & pie in a truckstop..a couple outlaw biker types try to hassle him..one puts his cigarette out in his pie, the other tips his coffee upside down. But the trucker just ignores the insult, pays the proprietor & leaves. One the bikers says to the proprietor "That guy sure ain't much of a fighter, is he?"

The proprietor, staring out the window said, "He ain't much of a driver either, he just drove his truck over two motorcyles...

Probably not true, but love the poetic justice anyway... Have heard it here in Minnesota for years. Oh, to respond to the question way back on this thread...The Mosquito is not only the state bird, but it is used by the National Guard for training exercises against enemy Helicopters!


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill
Date: 12 Feb 98 - 01:13 AM

Mosquittos so big they get mistaken for trade-ins on Northern Minnesota's used car s? Like Woody Allen in Annie Hall on confronting a spider in the bathroom..."You've got a spider the size of a Buick in there."

Also...the beehive! I recall the beehive filled with black widow spiders which stung the woman's poor hairdresser who happened to be my neighbor in about the late 1960's.

The famous story of "The Golden Arm." Lopped off in a tragic accident it seeks revenge at romantic rendezvous parking lots on full moon nights.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Paul Stamler
Date: 12 Feb 98 - 03:37 AM

Back to the alligators in the sewers: That seems to have originated with a book by Robert Daley called "The World Beneath The City", published in 1959 by Lippincott, about all the weird and interesting stuff below ground in NYC. It's a delightful book, and it includes an account by a veteran sewer inspector (the superintendent at the time) who describes seeing alligators about 2' long. The book states that they were all exterminated within a few months of their sighting; the outbreak is said to have occurred in 1935.

Peace. Paul


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bo
Date: 13 Feb 98 - 12:59 AM

I love this sort of obscure 'knowledge'.

Kitchener Ontario: Our local paper 'the Record' carried a story about black widows found in grapes sold to a day care.

Brantford Ontario: The Guiness Book Of Records claims that the greatest theft in history was perpetrated by NAZI leaders towards the end of WWII when the German Gold reserve went missing. The only place any of this has been found is Brantford Ontario. Now this is prior to knowledge of the Swiss collaboration with Germany.

Toronto Dundas&Cawthra : A small church bears the plaque 'The Site of Buffalo Bill Cody's baptism'

From a CBC interview: The last resting place of the only surviving member of Custer's Regiment is in ALBERTA Canada. The story is that he was with a delayed supply train that never got to little big horn, retired and settled in Alberta where he died of natural causes.

Bo (and those are just the ones I think are true)


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Feb 98 - 01:52 AM

Now, these are myths, of course. I suppose we could start telling things about our ex-spouses, and they would all be true. Take, for instance, mine. You people tell these horror myths about black widow spiders. Well, my ex found one, and caught it and kept it in a jar on MY WORKBENCH. Wouldn't you know it, the spider started spinning something inside the jar - an egg sac - and then apparently laid eggs. My ex found this a fascinating thing to keep on MY WORKBENCH, so the jar stayed there until hundreds of tiny white spiders filled the jar. And then they started to get out. Suddenly, my ex lost interest in them. Guess who was chosen to do cleanup. And I lived to pay lots of child support in later years.....
But I gotta say, that in my 25 years here in the land of rattlesnakes and black widows, I have never known anyone who got bit. Oh - and our tarantulas are really quite good-natured. Maybe we have less to fear than we think. Some of our myths may be true, but not nearly as much of a threat as we might think. On the other hand, California ex-wives are more than a little frightening, and they're very expensive.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From:
Date: 13 Feb 98 - 12:41 PM

Joe...Off'er $$$ saver


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: JMike
Date: 13 Feb 98 - 11:23 PM

Wasn't there a story about a sorrowing jilted lover who decided to kill himself in a spectacular way? (And in front of his ex and her new love). Something about putting a rope around his neck, setting himself on fire and shooting himself with a shotgun as he jumped off a cliff. Supposedly he missed with the gun but shot through the rope so he fell all the way down to the lake which put out the fire, but then he drowned.

There's definitely a song there somewhere.

BTW the Neiman-Marcus story has an amusing footnote. The store here in Dallas has been quick to point out that

a. They did not at the time take VISA.

b. They do not sell recipes, but give them to anyone who asks.

c. There was not a cookie on the menu anyway.

The footnote is that there has been such a stir about the famous Neiman Marcus cookie that they NOW have one (but not the recipe that has been published as theirs).

Supposedly this story was told about some place back east about a hundred years ago. The Parker House in Boston???


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bert
Date: 16 Feb 98 - 05:01 PM

JMike,

There's definitely a song there somewhere.
There sure is, Allen Damron sings one to that story, I'll look it up for you.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Whippoorwill
Date: 17 Feb 98 - 04:06 PM

GaryD:
Your trucker/biker story has been around a long time. It was even used as a sight joke by Jerry Reed in the movie "Smoky and the Bandit."

There's one, less an urban myth than a hoax, that is making the rounds again. Every couple of years somebody starts circulating the story that the federal government is paying dividends to veterans on their Servicemen's Group Life Insurance. IT AIN'T SO! This one has cost us, the taxpayers, megabucks just answering the inquiries that have been sent to VA and the DOD. If anybody should mention it, tell him to forget it.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca
Date: 17 Feb 98 - 07:06 PM

One always seems to get stories spread by being forwarded by e-mail, those "Did You Know" attachments. One I received lately indicated that Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance, giving the impression that his mother was boogying the night away until misfortune befell her in the loo. The documentary I saw some time ago on A & E indicated that he was born in a small chamber at Blenheim after his mother went into labour while out riding.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tim Jaques tjaques@netcom.ca
Date: 17 Feb 98 - 07:08 PM

Somebody in one of the newsgroups I frequent had a sig that said: "My sources are frequently unreliable, but their information is fascinating." I wish I had thought of that.:)


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: GaryD
Date: 22 Feb 98 - 08:07 PM

Thanks, Paul, for setting the record straight on the giant 2 FOOT sewer gators.. I'm sure they are really dangerous to the 2 FOOT Sewer inspectors, too! It is always amazing how much knowledge one gains here with out Mudcat friends. I am sorry, however, about the Cookie expose'..I HAVE that recipe & it's hard to keep passing it on with a straight face, now!... If anybody wants it, just email me on the Mudcat page, or at Loomis@EspressoCom.Com.. I really enjoyed this thread..even though we may have strayed from music a bit..


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Jan 99 - 06:17 PM

In my search for an answer about "Puff the Magic Dragon" and marijuana (it's a hoax), I came up with this wonderful site:

The alt.folklore.urban and Urban Legends Home Page

. I posted it on our links page.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 02:20 AM

Two stories I have heard recently,told to me as being absolutely true. 1....A man lives in a highrise apartment building with his two aging parents. The parents quarrel constantly,and the old man is in the habit of threatening his wife with an unloaded revolver. Due to this and other factors, the son becomes suicidally depressed. One night,in an act of anger and desperation,he loads the revolver. Predictably, the parents begin to quarrel. As the old man brandishes the pistol,he pulls the trigger, and is stunned as the weapon goes off, putting a bullet through the window behind his wife and killing his son WHO HAS JUST JUMPED OFF OF THE ROOF IN AN ACT OF SUICIDE......NOW, I suspect that many of you have heard this many times. I have heard it so often from people who"saw it in the paper" or "on tv" that I have assumed it to be true.But is it? Anyone who heard this story FIRST HAND from a reliable source?......2 A man walks down the hall to his apartment. He enters and then ,faintly, hears a woman calling for help. Finally, he opens the glass door to his balcony and decides that the cries are coming from an apartment directly above him. He runs up the stairs and follows the sound to a door ,which he forces open. Her cries are coming from the bedroom, where he finds her naked and tied to a fourposter bed. Across the foot of the bed lies a man in a Batman costume, above them a ceiling fan whirs at high speed. She explains that they were indulging a favorite sexual fantasy when her husband leapt up on to the bed and was struck in the head by the ceiling fan, knocking him unconscious....I can't helping hoping this one is true.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 03:59 AM

I hadn't seen this thread before it got revived. I cantell you that in England it's not uncommon for poisonous spiders to turn up in banaas and other exotic fruit, though they're usually dead (but not alays!). And in some aprts of Birmingham (our B'ham!) sewer rats have appeared in toilet bowls and bitten people (how would you react, since you've already .. never mind!). Iknow these stories must be true, 'cos they've been in the papers!

Jack the Ripper wasn't a myth, ther really were a string of five (some say more) "Whitechapel murders" from 1860. There are quite a few books on the subject, some quite convincing, and the number of suspects is quite small. I dare say a search on the Net would turn up a few helpful sites.

Keep on mything!

Steve


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 04:35 AM

Hey Lonesome EJ,
If you go to the first posting in this thread and click on Ronald Opus you'll find that there's already a song telling your first story. And it is true.

Or just click here for Ronald Opus.

cheers,
Alan


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Cara
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 09:23 AM

Here are two of my favorites:

1) The story of St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland is actually a reference to the Christianization of the island, when the Druids were basically squelched. The Druids were traditionally represented by a symbol that strongly resembles the one the Amer. Med. Assoc. uses today-a serpent wrapped around a staff of some sort. So the Druids are supposed to be te snakes in the story. Anybody else heard this?

2.) A woman gets into her car in a dark mall parking lot and pulls into a gas station immediately across the road. When she hands the attendant her money, he says that he's sorry but it's a counterfeit bill and she'll have to go inside the station with him to call the police. Inside the station, he hands her money back to her and says, "there's nothing wrong with your money but there was a man with a big knife in your back seat."

Also in this vein are the "welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS (the gift given by the lover met on vacation)".

Mining Co. has a great guide to these myths. Just key in "urban Myths" in the search box. Tells all about the latest Internet hoaxes too.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Dave
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 09:49 AM

three of my favourites: 1. The guy who buys some liver and puts it on a plate in the fridge and when next he looks in its wrapped around the milk carton.

2. The guy painting in the bathroom, pours the turps. into the toilet bowl after cleaning the brushes. Proceeds to answer the call of nature by sitting on the bowl and liting up his usual cigarette. Drops the match into the bowl and blows himself off. When the ambulance guys arrive and are carting him down the stairs on a stretcher hear the story they start to laugh and drop him.

3. A guy in bed nude thinks he hears some one downstairs. checks it out - nothing. Hears a noise outside. Gets on all fours to peek under the blind on his all glass front door. His big Alsatian dog come up behind him and with his very cold wet nose investigates the guys rear - sending him shooting through the plate glass.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 10:46 AM

When I was about twelve years old I was told of the dreaded insect, the earwig in Ontario, Canada cottage country. It would burrow through your ear into your brain and lay eggs, which upon hatching would eat your brain causing either insanity or death. Many years later I saw an old re-run of "The Twilight Zone" featuring a person who had a spider do the same. The question is, which came first?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Allan S.
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 10:56 AM

THe vanishing hitchhiker was made in to a song in South Africa Die Spook Van Uniondale [THe ghost from uniondale]


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 02:10 PM

The Vanishing Hitchhiker motif, which was first collected in America when we were still British Colonies, was made into a rock & roll ballad in the fifties (can't remember the name) and into a bluegrass song called Bringing Mary Home, which was recorded in the late '60s or early '70s by Charlie Waller.

The killer in the backseat motif was featured in a '70's movie which starred Sammy Davis, Jr.

Steve L.--The earwig story probably came first, since the very name earwig, which is documented as being used in England in the year 1000, comes from the belief that that small insect burrowed into the brain through the ear.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Allan C.
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 03:59 PM

What I want to know is if anyone has first-hand knowledge of any woman anywhere who has actually had a bat to get tangled in her hair. Nearly every woman I know believes it to be axiomatic that long hair acts as a bat magnet.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 05:22 PM

Such a think could happen, I suppose, but only if her hair were full of gnats, midges, no-see-ums, or some other bat-attracting livestock.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Art Thieme
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 06:04 PM

I heard the "turpentine in the toilet" tale with a punch line (of sorts).

About the old guy who goes to town for groceries & while he's gone his grandaughter decides to do him a "favor" by washing his pipes with benzine 'cause they were all smelly & black inside from the years of smoking. After she's done, she pours the extra benzine in the outhouse!

The old boy comes back and goes directly to the outhouse---where he fills his new pipe with the tobacco he just bought, strikes a match, lights his pipe and tosses the match into the hole he's stiing on. The resulting explosion tossed him 40 feet into the air. When he landed amidst the rubble and destruction of the outhouse he brushed himself off and mumbled to himself, "Yep, must've been something I et in town!"

Art


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Will
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 06:44 PM

I copied the following from a local (Ann Arbor, Michigan) discussion group.

-------

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bat and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!"

But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.

His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipes under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true -- I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital -- the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to 20 people you will have good luck but 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to less than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Michael Emory
Date: 28 Jan 99 - 11:13 PM

Hope you don't find humor in that, Will; my cousin bought a chainsaw from a short fellow who knew that guy.

NASA public relations was put in an awkward situation when Neil Armstrong, soon after a comment about 'one small step for man...', uttered, "Good luck, Mr. Frobusch." As he did not embellish upon this puzzling quip, NASA deleted it from public broadcast at the time. An enterprising journalist eventually came up with a Frobusch couple who had been apartment neighbors to the Armstrongs in the 1940's. Evidently their love life was a bit strained as, through apartment walls, young Neil once heard Mrs. Frobusch exclaim, "I'll f**k you when that kid next door walks on the mooon!" This is true.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 10:57 AM

Rudyard Kipling wrote a short story about an adulterer (British) in India; the jealous husband sneaked a deadly millipede into his ear while he was asleep (the adulterer's, not the j.h.'s). The d.m. then ate its was through the man's eardrum - without waking him! - and only when he started getting funny headaches (the adulterer, not - oh, you figure it out!) did he realise what had happened: he then knew he was going to die in three and a half days (or whenever) and there was nothing he could do about it. Creepy, eh?

He wrote another based the myth that the last thing you see before you die is imprinted on your retinas ... I won't spoil the ending for you! There was a gruesome murder in the UK years ago. A policeman tried to arrest some bad guys, and one of them shot him; then he shot out his eyes so no-one could photograph his retinas. Yuk! Actually, this is (allegedly) true, and thus not a myth at all, but it's got possibilities!

Steve


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Bill in Alabama
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 11:21 AM

I seem to recall a Sherlock Holmes case in which the image of the murderer was burned like a photographic negative into the victim's retina, and within the past 24 months I have read a current and popular novel about a serial killer who removed or destroyed his victims' eyes to avoid the possibility of being identified in this manner.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Allan C.
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 01:45 PM

I just got the following email. In view of some previous remarks I decided to share it before deleting it.

IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL ENTITLED "Badtimes", DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO OPEN OR READ IT. This one is EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.

Finally, it will reprogram your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.

FORWARD THIS URGENT INFORMATION TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW IMMEDIATELY!!!


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Armand (inactive)
Date: 29 Jan 99 - 02:57 PM

One "urban legend" (recent events show that it really happened) that I'm familiar with revolves around a card game called Magic. The game premise is 2 wizards wacking away at each other with their spelldecks. (the deck of cards that each player build, kinda like putting 40 aces in a poker deck that only you draw from)

Anyhow, supposedly, at a tournament, a player, who was losing, took one of his cards (valued at around $50) and tore it into pieces. He then threw the pieces at his opponent, hereby winning the game. (I don't want to bog you guys down with the rules)

Of course, just about every player that you run into claims to have been at that tourney, or knows someone who was there. Subsequently, the company then put out a card that, when you play it, you have to tear it up and throw it at your oponent. The quote on the card read, "..and you thought that was just an urban legend."

Marketting ploy or honest reporting?

Armand


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Sara
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 07:08 PM

There was this guy that felt like he was supposed to be looking for something so he decided to go out for a drive knowing that he will find it on the way. After driving for a while he ran out of gas in front of an old house so he decided to knock on the door to see if anyone was home. A beautiful young girl answered the door. The man asked the girl who she was, but the girl couldn't speak so she had to answer his questions by writing it down on notebook paper. After a couple of weeks he got to know her better, the girl really didn't like him and wanted him to go away but she couldn't do anything about it. One night while he was sleeping in the house he heard screams in the night he went to go investigate.He looked out the window and saw a man holding the girls head over a well.Thinking it was just his imagination he went back to sleep. Later on he woke up again to screams.This time he went downstairs to look around. He saw the man he saw earlier holding a ax trying to chop off the girls head. He yelled at the girl screaming,"you stupid bitch,you betrayed me, your father".Before the boys eyes they vanihed.Thinking that he was imagining things again, he went back to sleep. A couple days later, he and the girl went on a picnic.When the girl was sleeping, he noticed that her necklace clasp had broken he took off the locket, not noticing the red line around her neck where the neklace had been. After he had fixed it,he couldn't help wondering what was inside. Earlier in the week when he had asked her if she could take it off and let him look at it but she wouldn't let him. Thinking that she will not find out about it while she was asleep, he opened it. It was a picture of him and the girl which was quite weird becouse they had never taken any pictures of themselves.After studying it for a while he tried to wake her up to ask her about it but when he lifted her up her head rolled off. The locket had been keeping her head attached to her body.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Sara
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 07:57 PM

The Peanut Butter Surprise There was this girl and today was her birthday so her friends decided to throw her a surprise birthday party at her house.Knowing that every day after school she went down to the basement to give her dog his "special treats", they decided to surprise her when she comes down. So after school they hid in the basement waiting for her. After a while she came down the stairs saying,"come here doggy I have your favorate treat for you".Then her friends turned on the lights and they were surprises to see her standing there naked with peanut butter spread around between her legs.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Kate Piazza
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 08:20 PM

There was this guy and girl that were driving around at night when there car ran out of gas.Seeing a gas station further back about a mile down the road the boyfriend left to go get some gas and he told the girl to lock the doors and no matter what sounds you hear don't open the doors, cause earlier on a news program on the radio they heard that a phsycopath had escaped from a asylem near where they were at. So he left, and after a while she heard a thump.It kept on making that noise, she fuigered that it was just the wind becouses it had been a very windy day. To keep her mind off the noise she turned on the radio.Then before she knew what was going on she was surrounded by police cars.She turned off the radio in time to hear one police yell out,"Get out of the car and slowly approach forward and whatever you do don't look back." But as she neared the police officers she couldn't hold her suspcion any longer so she turned back and saw the phycopath banging her boyfriend unattached head on the roof of the car


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 05 Apr 99 - 10:14 PM

Bert and JMike, Yes, Alan Damron did a version of the suicide attempt. What amazes me is that this appears as the winner or the 1998 or 1999 Darwin Award. Since the song precedes the award by several years, it leads me to believe the story is apocrophyl (sp?). Which leads me to believe that perhaps all of the Darwin Award stories are apocrophyl, too bad. I have tried a couple of times to write a song about the guy with the JATO unit, but I have never been able to complete one.

Roger in Baltimore


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 06 Apr 99 - 12:35 PM

In my town in the UK ther is a large shopping centre that is served by several multi-story carparks. Anyway, my friend's aunt had been to the shopping centre do buy some groceries and she had been talking to a doctor friend of hers who had told her that one of the psychiatric patients from a local asylum had escaped. He had been sent for rehabilitation after being found guilty od six murders with a machete. My friend's aunt enterd the carpark and as usual it being arainy english evening the place was deserted and with extremely bad lighting, she took her keys from her handbag and was about to open the car door when she saw that it was already open. Thoughts of the machete murderer in her mind she naturally became extremely frightened. she heard a noise dropped her groceries and ran for the nearest exit. She founs a policeman and asked him to accompany her back to the car. He looked around the vehicle but saw nothing suspicious, relieved she thought she must have left it open, got in a drove home. As she was pulling into her driveway, she went over a pothole, she heard a clanking. metallic sound come from under the passenger side seat. When she had parked in her garage she leaned over and searched under the seat, her hands met with a cold metalllic object and her eyes opened wide with terror as she pulled out a 2 foot long machete.....and that's a true story. *grin*


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Willie-O
Date: 06 Apr 99 - 03:34 PM

Jack the Ripper story:

A fellow named Dr. Neill Cream is a Jack the Ripper suspect. He was from Montreal; his father was a minor lumber baron who had a sawmill about fifteen miles from here (Lanark County, Ottawa Valley, Ontario) and young Neill clerked in the nearby Middleville Gen Store for awhile in the mid-1800's. The good Doctor became a professional abortionist with a sideline in poisoning women. He had to leave London Ont, went to Chicago, and went to Joliet Prison near there. There is no record of his release date so he must have bought his way out of prison. He later appeared in London England, after the Ripper murders, when he was accused and convicted of poisoning one Matilda Clover there, and sentenced to hang. Just as the trap door was sprung, he shouted out "I'm Jack the...(gack)"

My friend Chris Scott wrote a rather good psychological thriller on this charming fellow. ("Jack" , c 1988, Seal Books.)

Hitchhiking stories are a staple folk-tale of those of us from the 60's and 70's. A list I'm on shared some of our stories once. It's an article of faith among hitchhikers that "you never get a ride in a Winnebago". I got one once though, and told that story on the list. What followed was interesting--practically all the veteran hitchers had gotten at least one ride in a land yacht. Here's the best story:

Rob S. was surprised when the Bago pulled over, but ran up to the door. An elderly, very short lady was sitting on a pillow on the drivers seat. She motioned him in, and off they went. Several other hitchhikers were present--she stopped for every one. The lady kept up a non-stop screeching conversation with her husband, who seemed to be in the back somewhere. Eventually Rob realized there was no one there--her husband had in fact died several years ago leaving her to be a Geritol Gypsy on her own. When not talking to hubby, she chatted with her equally invisible dog, and sometimes stopped the bus to let him out to pee. When Rob left her company, she pulled a cookie tin out and thrust it at him, saying "take some of this, son, whatever you need". It was full of cash!!!! Rob believes the road angels were looking out for her welfare and god knows they should.

This is not a FOAF story, it was told in the first person by Rob Sandelin, a Microsoft employee. No foolin.

Another story involved "an improbable rescue at 1 a.m. from a one-armed Winnebago driver", but the teller declined to get any more specific.

My Bago story? Never mind, its too long and boring.

Bill


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: DennisM
Date: 07 Apr 99 - 11:56 AM

i put 20 years in the u.s. navy and heard plenty of navy myths and legends. Funny thing though was that they all started the same way. NOW LISTEN, THIS AIN'T NO S--T.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 08 Apr 99 - 11:23 AM

I'n not sure if this is an urban myth, because it actually appeared onn Arthur.C.Clarke's Mysterious World as well as in the book that accompanied the series, but I suspect it is, I shall explain after the story:
This concerns a driver who was going home after a night with some friends. He was driving along the road when he saw a female hitchhiker. He stopped and asked where she was going, she told him. It was on his way so he gave her a lift. She wasn't very talkative so he never got much information out of her. At one point he turned round to ask her a question, and she was no longer there! Suffice to say he went stray to his local and had a few stiff ones.

Okay to explain why I don't know if this is a FOAFtale or not. I heard this story some years ago, I was interested because it happened near me, in a small town called Dunstable. About a year after the programme I was going out with this girl from Dunstable and we were having a pretty good time. When one night we were talking and I told her the above story, she went all quiet and moody. It turns out that the man in question was her Uncle and that ever since that night, he had the piss taken out of him buy all his mates at the pub ( The Windsock which no longer exists). I met her uncle, a nice bloke. What calls into question the veracity of the story is the fact that I have heard the same or similar stories over the years, in different parts of the world.
FOAF=( Friend Of A Friend)


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Penny
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 02:54 PM

The phantom hitchhiker is frequently attached to Bluebell Hill in Kent, between Rochester and Maidstone. On the old road, not the dual carriageway.

And underneath the old Crystal Palace site in South London, there has been reported to be a train buried in a tunnel, full of skeletons. My friend spoke to the girl who fell into the tunnel, so it must be .... well, she couldn't show him the hole, and her original description that the skeletons were all sitting upright changed when he pointed out some boring facts about anatomy. Anyway, the tunnels there run all the way to Dover under the North Downs, and part of the way there, there is a bottomless well (this is rural, not urban), and they know it is bottomless because they unround a reel of binder twine down it, and it just kept on and on unwinding to the end of the reel without stopping. The whole planet must be full of tunnels and holes.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 02:58 PM

Hey Penny, Iread about both those in the Fortean Times. Though the Dunstable Phantom hitchhiker was never as ethereal as the Bluebell Hill phantom, the thing that made it so powerful a story was the banality of it.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Penny
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 03:19 PM

I was told about the bottomless well by the man who dropped the twine - if he's made it to Fortean Times I'd be interested to know.

Can you let me know which issue the Crystal Palace train was in? I know it was reported in the South London Press, but my friend would like to check out any other references to compare with what he was told. Certainly the eco-warriors on the site didn't break into any tunnels with their digging, not even the known Paxton service works.

My sister used to explore the tunnels which do exist under Dover Castle, which at the time had openings accessible to the public. These are now closed for safety. Pete M, did you ever go down there? I missed out on that.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Night Owl
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 03:27 PM

Surprised that "Charlie on the MTA" hasn't been mentioned yet. In the fifties it was possible to go anywhere in the city of Boston with the creative use of 'transfers'. The MTA, in an effort to stop the loss of revenues, began locking turnstyles so that they would only turn in one direction, and began to get rid of the transfer system as well. I'm not sure, but I believe this song was written in response to the chaos that resulted.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 10 Apr 99 - 03:29 PM

Penny: It was in issue 105, the author Michael Goss takes a trip down into the tunnels under London to find the nebulous Subterraneans that live down there. Apparently these troglodytes are desended from street people that have gradually lost any language and feed on pablum and any handy person that happens to wander along.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Penny
Date: 11 Apr 99 - 09:35 AM

Thanks, Alistair. I'll pass that on.

There is something definitely Eloish/Morlocky about the Crystal Palace area, (and Wells was in the area at one time) so I'm not surprised to hear that story. Have you seen, or read, Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman, which has a London Underworld into which a character wanders by accident? In the film, he returned to the upper world through the old Crystal Palace railway station.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: reggie miles
Date: 11 Apr 99 - 12:12 PM

Gary D, the song that the Limelighters sing "Vasectomy" was written by a couple of friends of mine. Larry Heagle, from Eau Claire, WI was primarily credited and held the rights to it. I understand that my friend Robert "Oneman" Johnson, a close friend of Larrys, who at the time lived in Chippewa Falls, about fifteen minutes from Eau Claire, also had a hand in it's creation. He says that they finished it together one morning along with a six pack of Leinenkugel's beer. Larry, an entertainer, performs around the Minneapolis area. He plays guitar and sings silly songs and has recorded this song. He later sold it to the Limelighters who recorded it but not before I recorded it with a jug band I was playing with in the Seattle area called Strangers with Candy, 1988 "Strangers with Candy, Go Ape". I still play that song as do many of my friends who have heard me and have bought our recording. I saw the Limelighters on public tv perform a show, kind of a sixties reunion thing, and they sang it as the closing number in their set. They got a standing ovation. I on the other hand have gotten thrown out of restaurants and festivals for doing it and never been asked to return. I have to say though the positive reactions I've received for singing it over the years have far out weighed the bad and I still enjoy pulling that one out. If you need a copy I think I can help. Jonh W, you mentioned being from Salt Lake City. Are you familiar with a tune that Johnny Mercer popularized, some time in the fourties I think, it's called "I Lost My Sugar In Salt Lake City". I dug this one up from an old 78 rpm record, with a title like that how could I resist. It's basically a blues with a nice twist, it has a minor chord in the progression and a strange but silly sort of a spoken part in the middle. I've been playin' this one for years as well and too have had a chance to record it, again with that jug band I was with Strangers with Candy.

Reggie Miles


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Mark Roffe
Date: 11 Apr 99 - 03:06 PM

UK folks, can you verify this?
We've heard about a London man who wanted a personalized license plate for his car. But there's a one-year waiting period for such plates in Engand (??), so he had his name legally changed to match his existing plate.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 03:55 AM

It was in the papaers, Mark, so it must be true!

Steve


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 05:54 AM

Was it in the Sun the Mirror or the Sport? If it wasn't in the Grauniad I won't believe it!


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tucker
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 06:28 AM

Dear Tim Jaques, I know that doesn't sound likely, about the tunnels but have you ever heard of the underground railroad? We still find abandoned tunnels all over southern Ohio where smuggled slaves were hidden, some dug by ignorant farm workers........


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Tucker
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 06:43 AM

Ok Vets, who hasn't heard of the women of the orient having things placed "sideways"? And the self same ladies using double edged razor blades to disable GI's?


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Mike Ireland
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 08:13 AM

Urban myths (and legends) and needs.........

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child'stoy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared.

"I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?" "Yes, I was," he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?" "Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man. "There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter."

"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said. "Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?" "No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!" "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas." Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?" "No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island." "Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.

"You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable."

As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.

"Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely... is there anything that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now!" "Yes there is!" the man replied, chucking off his shyness. "There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just... well, it was impossible." "Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said.

The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean you actually figured out some way we can check the Mudcat Forum out here?"


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 08:18 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my god someone did it.


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Big Mick
Date: 12 Apr 99 - 08:36 AM

hahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...........I am sitting here just lmao. Great post!!!!!!!

Mick


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Apr 99 - 03:59 AM

Someone told me a similar story. I would blush to repeat it in company, but on the Mudcat, no-one can see you blush ...

Guy gets cast away on a desert island, etc etc. A couple of years later he's discovered by a passing ship, which sends a nurse over to make sure he's ok before they bring him on board. The nurse, being all girly, is so overcome by this tough, bearded weather-beaten hunk that she wants to make love to him (come on, girls, it's a story, ok?).
"While you've been here," she asks him coyly, "how have you coped without, you know, female company?".
"Well, er, there's this, er, tree," he tells her shyly (but manfully), "with a knot-hole just at the right height ...". Well, you get the picture.
"Wouldn't you like to make love to a real girl?"
"Not half!"
"Just let me get ready .."
And she turns her back and start to take down her panties, when withiut warning he runs up and kicks her backside so hard she goes flying!
"What the hell was that for?" she gasps.
"Just checking for squirrels!"

And friends, I know, for I was that squirrel!


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Apr 99 - 04:02 AM

Whoops, gremlins again! take 2:
Someone told me a similar story. I would blush to repeat it in company, but on the Mudcat, no-one can see you blush ...

Guy gets cast away on a desert island, etc etc. A couple of years later he's discovered by a passing ship, which sends a nurse over to make sure he's ok before they bring him on board. The nurse, being all girly, is so overcome by this tough, bearded weather-beaten hunk that she wants to make love to him (come on, girls, it's a story, ok?).
"While you've been here," she asks him coyly, "how have you coped without, you know, female company?".
"Well, er, there's this, er, tree," he tells her shyly (but manfully), "with a knot-hole just at the right height ...". Well, you get the picture.
"Wouldn't you like to make love to a real girl?"
"Not half!"
"Just let me get ready .."
And she turns her back and start to take down her panties, when without warning he runs up and kicks her backside so hard she goes flying!
"What the hell was that for?" she gasps.
"Just checking for squirrels!"

And friends, I know, for I was that squirrel!


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Subject: RE: Urban myths (and legends)
From: AlistairUK
Date: 13 Apr 99 - 06:00 AM

Can we start using the other urban myths thread...this is taking too damn long to download.


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