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BS: The First Church of Shatnerology
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Subject: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Aug 01 - 08:09 PM Only on the Net. It's awesome! It's incredible! It's tacky! Everything you could possibly want to know about William Shatner can be found at The First Church of Shatnerology!!! Go to: http://free.freespeech.org/shatner/ And to see Bill dance the Macarena and hear him howl "Mister Tambourine Man" repeatedly, go to: http://www.wednesdayweb.com/kirk/kirk2.html And that is only the beginning! Hot damn! What a site! Previous Shatner Threads (click) (please do not refresh them)- LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: DougR Date: 20 Aug 01 - 08:39 PM Why, LH? DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Amos Date: 20 Aug 01 - 09:00 PM Yes, LH!! Why??!! Expiring minds want to know!!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Aug 01 - 09:06 PM You have to ask why? Why did Hilary climb Everest? Why did Ahab hunt the White Whale? Why is Spaw a dumbass? (and we love him for it...) I am personally awed and humbled by all the William Shatner stuff that is on the Net. I was astounded at what the search engine unearthed. I am also rather relieved that I have never become famous. It's a good thing Shatner has a well developed sense of humour about himself. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: khandu Date: 20 Aug 01 - 09:29 PM YAS, AMEN!!! khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Aug 01 - 09:34 PM Oh, and I do have a reason why you should post to this thread... It will bug Spaw. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: khandu Date: 20 Aug 01 - 10:05 PM In that case,LH,I'll post again! khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Aug 01 - 12:44 AM Does that make the humble tribble the 'AntiShatner'? I love tribbles. Boy was that ever a happy stage hand when he read his directions. 'Stand behind set. Throw furry balls at William Shatner's head.' Whoo Hoo!!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 21 Aug 01 - 06:09 AM I think the NYCFTTS can help our Canadian colleague out here. LH, how about I get the inmates breeding tribbles for you for the William Shatner Church and School of Acting? What do we feed 'em on? I know they breed like crazy. [Memo to self, get some of the other inmates to clean out the cages, I've got enough to do with the bedpans.] Any problems getting them over the border? RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: gnu Date: 21 Aug 01 - 06:21 AM BAD acting. BAD acting. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: wysiwyg Date: 21 Aug 01 - 06:29 AM It's.... amazing. Really... amazing. You know I always thought he... thought he... was... GOD. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: gnu Date: 21 Aug 01 - 06:42 AM Thank God you said God. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Naemanson Date: 21 Aug 01 - 07:52 AM But I LOVE Shatner.. WHAT AM I SAYING? I love Trek! Shatner is, well, he's, uh, well, a lucky bad actor. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,iamjohnne Date: 21 Aug 01 - 08:14 AM i cant help but contribute to the silliness. I do think Wm. Shatner to be a man who can poke fun at himself and not take life to seriously. Maybe we should all take a lesson or two from him. But gee, I am sure glad he isnt my husband of my father. johnne "Goin' where the weather suits my clothes"
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Grab Date: 21 Aug 01 - 11:43 AM Liz, I always wanted to see a tribble making out with the other tribble sat on WS's head. I mean, that's never real! Especially the bad hair in TJ Hooker, or whatever that cop thing was. WS can poke fun at himself for public consumption - according to Nichelle Nichols and others, he was a pain in the arse when you got to know him. Graham. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: catspaw49 Date: 21 Aug 01 - 12:58 PM Look Hawk, I posted this elsewhere, but it needs to noted here too. Skiff has even had a change of heart regarding the benefits of this Shitner crap and it's effect on the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed. Fer chrissakes Hawk, ever since you started that damn school the NYCFTTS has been swamped with your rejects! Skiff is beside himself, we're out of tiples and noseflutes, and the new wing, the James Taylor Rehab Clinic for Catatonic Blandness is at standing room only with a bunch of Shatner wannabees wearing bad rugs and screaming, "Bones! Mr. Scott! Spock!" and a hundred other trite phrases as they stare vacantly into space. What's worse, the other day Skiff tells me that about 37 of them descended on a passing Amish family and had their way with the horse!!!! The Amish folks are now completely traumatized and the damn horse can't even walk, let alone trot........and it was a gelding for gawdsakes!!!!!!!!! The Amish are suing BTW, and I have turned the whole thing over to our crack legal team of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe who will be filing suit against all things Shatner and Hawk......Expect the paperwork in today's mail. Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: MMario Date: 21 Aug 01 - 01:14 PM I've seen qoutes that more or less go "the rest of the cast knew that it was camp - Bill didn't" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 21 Aug 01 - 11:19 PM Look, when you're as sexy as Bill you know that it's MORE than just camp! Matter of fact that works for both Shatner & Clinton, doesn't it? Must be something about the name "Bill", as in "Wild Bill". Here's an idea...get Bill Clinton to star as a Federation admiral in the next Star Trek movie. He could play the saxophone too! Man, would Shatner turn green with envy! Outranked at last...and by another Bill! Spaw - we have referred your ill-advised suit to our own attorneys Feral, Visceral, and Snietche. Be prepared for a legal donnybrook. And who is Skiff, BTW? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Liz the Squeak Date: 22 Aug 01 - 02:46 AM Bill Shatner - SEXY??? The guy wore a corset ferchrissakes..... A GODDARN CORSET - the sort of thing your GRANNY wore!!!! It's so BAD you can see the thing through his shirt! Talk about VPL!!! He was about as sexy as fence post and with the same acting ability. Having said that, I do actually have all the ST's on vid.... plus the movies..... plus at least 80 of the books..... and the Teach yourself Klingon book.... LTS going back to bed, to reflect on a sad life..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 22 Aug 01 - 04:56 AM Sorry, LH, as Spaw, my CEO, has indicated, the flood of Shatner-wannabees clogging up the Admissions Office at the NYCFTTS means we have no free resources to breed tribbles for your WSSBA bad acting classes, the washteria is flooded, all backed up with polyester wigs and corsets, it's a nightmare. Our Creative Accounting Dept, the Soprano Finance and Waste Disposal Company will be calling on you soon to collect for our extra expenditure. RtS (perhaps Scotty could sort out the washeteria?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: gnu Date: 22 Aug 01 - 07:46 AM Little Hawk... it appears your legal team may be may be overtaxed. May I offer the services of Pluckem, Phuckem and Chuckem to assist ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Troll Date: 22 Aug 01 - 08:29 AM If they are unavailable, try the firm of Trickum, Dickum and Dunkum. They have an incredible record, and have only lost a couple of cases while winning some real biggies. troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Aug 01 - 11:50 AM gnu & Troll - Well, thanks for the offers. We'll keep it in mind. Pluckem, Phuckem, & Chuckem sound like a really professional legal outfit to me. BTW, Snietche was a mispelling...it should have been Sneitche. Liz - Let's not bring my granny into this, okay? That corset that Shatner wore was probably helpful in keeping his cheeks rosy. To compare him with fence posts is hardly fair, at least in the sexiness department, if not the acting. If you were a dog, which would you rather pee on...a fence post or William Shatner? Well? Think about it. This example should show you just how unfair the analogy is... - LH
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: MMario Date: 22 Aug 01 - 12:04 PM Besides that LtS - Fence posts have MUCH more expression and range of emotions then Shatner. I feel you owe fence posts around the world an apology. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Jack the Sailor Date: 22 Aug 01 - 03:37 PM Spaw, Roger, Help is at hand, Ghostwriters for Leonard Nemoy and George Takai are writing a book about the Shatner family. The proceeds will be used to finance the treatment of the wannabes. The book title..... "They Keep Horses Don't They?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Jack the Sailor Date: 22 Aug 01 - 03:39 PM Spaw, Roger, Help is at hand, Ghostwriters for Leonard Nemoy and George Takai are writing a book about the fence posts and William Shatner. The proceeds will be used to finance the treatment of the wannabes. The book title..... "They Keep Horses Don't They?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: MMario Date: 22 Aug 01 - 03:41 PM hey! Don't knock Leonard! He made a very good King Arthur and a great Tevye. And george's SF book way miles better than anything that has been put out under Shatner's name. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Naemanson Date: 22 Aug 01 - 04:30 PM You know, LH, I don't think your church has a very poetic name. You might be better calling it The Brotherhood of Shatnernia. Or how about calling yourselves Shanterpalians? The inner circle of the priesthood could be Bill's Buddies.
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Amergin Date: 22 Aug 01 - 04:39 PM LH, I am beginning to think you carry a rather big torch for him.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Aug 01 - 04:43 PM Well, yeah, but it isn't actually MY church, y' see, I just found it on the Net. I only wish it was my church. I have been instrumental, however, in founding the WSSBA (William Shatner School of Bad Acting), in beautiful Orillia, Ontario, Canada, and that ain't half bad! Feel free to beam over at any time... Feel free to PM me... Feel free to take a flying leap... "They Keep Horses, Don't They?" is the PERFECT name for that book! Bravo! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Jack the Sailor Date: 22 Aug 01 - 05:01 PM I am a Shatnerist, I believe in Shatology. When I die, the atoms of my body will be disassembled and magically reassembled on a magical planet where men don't need hairpieces or girdles and everone rides a pretty horse. Repeat this 500 times and you too will find inner peace. Or inner tube, or tire swing or something.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Aug 01 - 02:33 AM I have never peed on a fence post, and I wouldn't pee in Shatners' gob if his teeth were on fire! His books are crap, regardless of who writes them, his wooden acting is only surpassed by the woodeness of his hair piece. I am sorry about the fence posts though. I have a very nice pair in my garden, one helping to hold up a fence, the other roaming free at present, just waiting for me to caress it gently into place by the wall...... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: CarolC Date: 23 Aug 01 - 03:16 AM Dwarf tossing? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Aug 01 - 02:21 PM Liz - I am beginning to think you have NO respect for William Shatner at all! But no...that just isn't conceivable... You should look into the new course that's being offered by the WSSBA. It's called "Shatnerization 101". It teaches you how to be a little more like William Shatner with each passing day. "Every day, in every way, I'm becoming a little more like Bill..." If I may quote from STNG (which had a lotta good points, but lacked William Shatner).... "Resistance is futile." - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Gloredhel Date: 23 Aug 01 - 07:56 PM LH, you scare me. Shatner's only good point was that his character, at least, didn't talk the aliens to death like Picard, or pretend to be macho, like Janeway. But if he had to wear a girdle, what did they use in all those scenes where he got punched in the jaw twice and got up with his shirt torn off? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: hesperis Date: 23 Aug 01 - 09:17 PM "talk the aliens to death"???!!! Whoa! Picard was the absolute BEST Trek Captain that ever was! "talk the aliens to death"???!!! What are YOU talking about? Sheesh. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 23 Aug 01 - 09:30 PM Hesperis - I would have to agree that Picard was far and away the BEST starship captain EVER! In fact, he was in a league all his own. Gloredhel - Interesting point about the torn shirt. You can't conceal a girdle or a corset over a bare stomach. Hmmmm..... I suspect there was something in the contract requiring him to get his shirt torn off at regular intervals. Well, it's nice to know I scare someone anyway. Up till now I only thought I scared myself. :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: CarolC Date: 24 Aug 01 - 02:27 AM "I'm escared! I'm escared!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Jack the Sailor Date: 24 Aug 01 - 02:16 PM The shirt: In the first season, it got completely torn off, subsequently the rips got smaller and closer to the shoulders. Picard: Probably would be a good starship captian, if there was such a thing. Especially it the object were to boringly and predictably protect the ship at all costs. Give me a guy who flambouantly puts the ship in danger for no good reason. Gve me a guy who makes long-winded idiotic speeches to folks who shouldn't even know english. It makes for better television! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: CarolC Date: 24 Aug 01 - 05:26 PM Jack the Sailor, you've picked the right country to live in. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Nov 01 - 09:51 AM Say, I found a good site for y'all to go help ol Bill look younger.....or something......... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: CarolC Date: 20 Nov 01 - 09:59 AM Holy shit. My last post was downright prophetic. Now I'm scaring myself. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: SINSULL Date: 20 Nov 01 - 09:59 AM You are all a bunch of frauds. Whited sepulchres! Closet "Dune" fans. I put a perfectly good FIRST EDITION Star Trek magazine up in the auction and you not only did not bid, you ignored it! Shame! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Mrrzy Date: 20 Nov 01 - 11:40 AM I am reminded of the International (I believe) Church of Rodney, to which many Belters belonged in Larry Niven's Tales of Known Space. If someone brought religion in where it didn't belong they would call on Rodney, which was basically Belter slang for Mind your own business, or Religion has nothing to do with it, or something. (Belters were the humans who colonized the asteroid belt - very independent, from generations of living without planets.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: robomatic Date: 20 Nov 01 - 11:56 AM Praise Bob |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Nov 01 - 04:49 PM From whom all blessings flow... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Nov 01 - 04:54 PM Yeah, well Hawk, I been playing with his face on that site I linked and IT flows pretty well too! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: gnu Date: 20 Nov 01 - 05:09 PM I belong to the church of Rodney.... Dangerfield. Noooo respect. The other day I went to a whorehouse at noon... there was sign on the door that said, "Gone to lunch, go fuck yourself." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: CarolC Date: 20 Nov 01 - 05:51 PM So, gnu, how was it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: gnu Date: 20 Nov 01 - 06:08 PM Well, seeing as how it was my first time... going to a whorehouse, I mean... I can't compare it with a professional. As far as the ameteurs I have had the chance to rate, it was okay... better than some... worse than others. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Nov 01 - 09:05 PM But not like being kissed by William Shatner, right? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: gnu Date: 21 Nov 01 - 05:42 AM My apologies for the thread creep LH. I assume your wry queeeeery was meant to centralize the discussion. Therefore, I shall stick to the subject from now on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,little john cameron Date: 21 Nov 01 - 04:19 PM A few weeks ago ah ran oot o' stuff tae read so ah picked up ane o' mah sons Star Trek books.This'll keep me gaun tae ah get tae the used book store.Weel,tae mah surprise ah liked it.They are weel written an' pose money interestin questions aboot cosmology an' physics.The best thing ah like is,the guid guys aye win. Here's a braw site for them as are intae trivia. http://hermes.spaceports.com/~theshack/ ljc |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,little john cameron Date: 23 Nov 01 - 06:17 PM How come these posts feenish when ah pit in mah ten cents worth.Ah think it is discrimination agin Scots. ljc |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: CarolC Date: 23 Nov 01 - 06:21 PM It was already dead, LJC. We were just flogging a dead horse. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,rr Date: 01 May 02 - 06:10 PM Shatnerization? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: DonD Date: 01 May 02 - 11:14 PM Reading this thread, I was so scared/bored/amused, I shat. Bless me! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 01 May 02 - 11:27 PM Consider yourself blessed, DonD. As a high priest in the Church of Shatnerology, I hereby absolve you of all your former sins and omissions. Now boldy go forth, and hold your head high. We Have Shatnerization!!! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST Date: 02 May 02 - 01:16 AM I shat You shat We all shat
On the CAT and Joe and Max |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,rr Date: 02 May 02 - 07:04 PM Is there a Second Church? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 02 May 02 - 09:19 PM Well, yes, there are other ones springing up here and there, but this is the FIRST one, you see... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST Date: 16 Jun 02 - 02:18 PM |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Jack the Sailor Date: 16 Jun 02 - 05:22 PM Mrrzy, I am a fan of Niven, not sure I buy into his apparant theory that smart people don't need religion. Especially when his solution to human happiness is breeding for luck. But then I'm expecting the galactic core explosion to kill me in 20,000 years. Cheers Jack the Kzin |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 17 Jun 02 - 12:34 AM Niven has a point..."smart" people don't need any spiritual sense of life, because their own mental ego is quite enough to keep them fully amused, entertained, and fascinated until they croak. Wise people...ah, well, that's another thing altogether. :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Art Thieme Date: 19 Jun 02 - 07:52 PM So why aren't Frank Hamilton or Sandy or Hedy posting to this thread. We can only speculate... Art Thieme (but we're here, aren't we?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST Date: 20 Jun 02 - 10:07 AM Spirituals? Shatner sang spritituals? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Jun 02 - 03:51 PM No, no, we got off on a side topic there... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST,Just Amy Date: 20 Jun 02 - 04:11 PM LH - I thought it was the William Shatner School of Vicious Overacting. Amy |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 20 Jun 02 - 10:17 PM That's good, Amy. "Vicious overacting"! I like it. :-) I will see if we can launch a 2 credit course under that title at the WSSBA next semester. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: Little Hawk Date: 22 Jun 02 - 12:38 AM My musical trinity is Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and Buffy Sainte-Marie, since you asked... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST Date: 12 Jul 02 - 08:15 PM The Bible has been published according to Little Hawk in another thread. Shadowplanet by William Shatner List Price: $23.95 Originally scheduled to be published in November 2002 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The First Church of Shatnerology From: GUEST Date: 13 Jul 02 - 12:07 AM |