Lyr ADD: Ancient Mariner.Com (Les Barker)

Subject: ADD: Ancient Mariner.Com (Les Barker)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Oct 10 - 06:51 PM

I found it at http://people.exeter.ac.uk/jrwright/rs/RS18_Report2.htm

The Ancient Mariner.com

THE ANCIENT MARINER.COM
(Les Barker)

It is an ancient Mariner,
And he stoppeth one of three.
"By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,
Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?

"The Bridegroom's doors are opened wide,
And I am next of kin;
The guests are met, the feast is set:
May'st hear the merry din."

He holds him with his skinny hand;
"Take thou this CD-ROM;
Look at me now and know my name:
Ancientmariner.com

Our course was set across the net,"
The old man told his tale,
The good ship Internet Explorer
Weighed anchor and set sail.

With sloping masts and dipping prow
We headed south, quoth he -
Our sails were full, our modem fast -
Across the rolling sea,

And far astern, a distant speck,
The home page departed from.....
Till the gods browsed and selected
Ancientmariner.com

The wedding guests, they chose me
And they cursed me then because
I'd happ'ed upon the web site
Of a man called Albert Ross.

He was noted for his wingspan
And his wanderings as well.
He had a Power Mac;
His ISP was AOL.

Oh gods ye could have chosen
Any Harry, Dick or Tom;
You moved your mouse and clicked on
Ancientmariner.com

My PC crashed, my cursor froze,
No sight, nor sound nor motion,
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink
My RAM was full of spam
And my printer's out of ink.

Oh wedding guests, I searched for peace,
I cut and pasted 'Om'
In MS Word, but no one heard
Ancientmariner.com

I swung the mouse hard starboard
But the helm did not respond;
My com port was disconnected;
Only blackness lay beyond

I gazed into despair,
I drifted helpless to defeat;
I spake the sad man's mantra:
control alt delete.

Wedding guests, go to my home page,
Say goodbye to Dad and Mom;
Tell my friends I'm out there somewhere......
Ancientmariner.com



Les Barker

I listened to the recording by Ian MacMillan on the Guide Cats for the Blind CD and made several corrections to the lyrics I found at people.exeter.ac.uk/jrwright. Of course, it's possible that the other source has the actual Lex Baxter lyrics.
Is there a melody for this? MacMillan does it as a recitation.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: harpgirl
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 10:05 PM

I thought this parody of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Les Barker was here somewhere. I asked for it (fftfoa)and thought it had been put up.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 07:49 PM

Sorry folks, Twit alert. The above post was aimed elsewhere.
Sh*t, I missed.

Please disregard.
Don T.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 07:46 PM

Available from 15th August is Guide Cats for the Blind Volume 2, "The Missing Persians File", and on it is Les's parody "Will the Turtle Be Unbroken" sung by Tom Paxton and the Smoggy Mountain Girls.

Available through BCAB at: http://www.bcab.org.uk/cd/guide-cats-info.htm

That should help
Don T.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 06:28 PM

Blicky seems not to have worked. Try [e-mail] or word search for Mrs Ackroyd

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Aug 05 - 06:27 PM

It's in his book 'Lady and the Trampoline' and can be bought from the man himself here or from him in person at any of his gigs. If you click on where it says 'books' it will give you the entire catalogue. Click on the title you want and it will give you the index for that book.

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 01:14 PM

"Ancient Mariner.com" was recorded by Les Barker at the Cheltenham Folk Festival in 2001, and it appears on his CD "Arovertherapy."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: GUEST,Willa
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 03:23 PM

I heard Les Barker do this at Whitby, too. Think cavia p will have the words, if he's around anywhere!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Aug 01 - 08:06 PM

That seems to be it, bobby's girl. Found a reference to it but nothing else. Please post it if you can.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: bobby's girl
Date: 27 Aug 01 - 08:03 PM

Sounds like the Les Barker poem which I've just heard him do last week at Whitby. Don't think I've got a copy of the words but I may be able to get hold of them if no-one else can

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: SeanM
Date: 27 Aug 01 - 04:28 AM

Given the "Ancient Mariner.Com" title, I'd imagine it's a parody. Never heard of it, personally, but it soundsneat.

M

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Aug 01 - 12:23 AM

You mean Coleridge's Rime(Rhyme) of the Ancient Mariner, or something else? Lyric snippet? Date? anything?

Subject: Ancient Mariner.Com
From: GUEST,A flower from the fields of Alabam
Date: 26 Aug 01 - 07:32 PM

Anyone know words to this song?