Song Challenge lost count!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Sep 01 - 01:56 AM

Brilliant!!!

And I hadn't noticed the panda mascara..... honest!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 03 Sep 01 - 10:14 PM

Ah!! the authoritative version.

Dog gonr good too!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 03 Sep 01 - 07:08 PM

I am sorry for not spotting this thread sooner! my own two pennorth.
(to the tune of 'Greensleeves' sing verse twice)
Twas in a barn at Towersey,
good singing was my main pursuit
and joined the throng of goodly folk,
the woman fair the men hirsute.
I've dragged the hound who's not inclined
to join in with this ho and hum,
Who's frankly pissed off with it all
preferring a kip and a spot of Chum.

(chorus) Oh me Gawd the dog has gone, I'm frantic and it's no surprise
There's an empty floor where she was before
she has legged it before I realised

I leap off me chair and i cry in despair,
For the situation appears most dire
She's a clever dog, but a Yorkshire dog
and she's not acquainted with Oxfordshire.
It's late at night, my face is a fright
Mascara is streaming all down me cheeks
I frightened a horse, but my husband of course
says its the best he's seen me looking in weeks!
Chorus
Oh me gawd what do I do now, interpol or FBI?
I'll place a reward , I can just afford
A packet of fags and some stale pork pie.

But hark and hail whose face is this,
Appearing from the gloomy night
Morticia comes with joyous news, my hound is found, the dog's alright
And fast asleep under a seat, my precious babe in slumber lay
She is fine, in sleep sublime,
But I'm now on fifteen Prozac a day.
Chorus
Take heed of my warning folks
and do not let your animals roam. I kissed her sweetly on the nose
And promised to kill her when I got home!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Gareth
Date: 31 Aug 01 - 06:54 PM

Can no mud elf remove my dog's embarrasement ?

Gareth

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Amos
Date: 31 Aug 01 - 03:26 PM

Aha!! "On the Internet, no-one knows you're a dog unless your master logs on to the same Forum!!!" LOL!!

A.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Gareth
Date: 31 Aug 01 - 02:44 PM

Guto says - sorry that clickky didn't work - try this one

Click here Woof ! Woof !

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Gareth
Date: 31 Aug 01 - 02:37 PM

Guto says - sorry that clickky didn't work - try this one.

Clicky Here WOOF ! WOOF !

Gareth, for Guto

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Gareth
Date: 31 Aug 01 - 02:32 PM

Guto says - sorry that clickky didn't work - try this one.

Woof Woof

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Gareth
Date: 31 Aug 01 - 02:23 PM

From Guto - Gareth's Dog.

Well Charley, you wanted another verse so here it is

Pebbles head was aching, her thirst began to rage,
It wasn't quite as funny, as it seemed upon the page,
An Ice bucket was the answer, full of Adams Ale,
So Pebbles sipped the water down, and wagged her little tail.

Pebbles, I sympathise, my master left a glass of Brandy by his chair at Christmas while he slept his dinner off. It tasted good but Ooooh ! My head later.

Still I got my revenge; I woke him up twice that night to let me out into the Yard.

Guto – Gareth's Welsh Terrier

PS. Here is My Photo – Can I have yours ?? CLICK HERE, WOOF! WOOF!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Charley Noble
Date: 31 Aug 01 - 11:40 AM

I hope this thread doesn't get "curtailed" prematurely. There's probably room for another verse about Pebbles being refreshed the morning after with a little "hair of the dog."

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Gareth
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 01:11 PM

Large quantities of water - best cure for a canine hangover.

Gareth

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 12:25 PM

If you understand a bit of the slang, thing might be a little clearer...doesn't "ickle" basically mean "babe-a-licious"?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: SharonA
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 12:15 PM

Liz (re: Lady Ickle): Oh. You confused me in your first post when you mentioned the "distraught Mr. Ickle Dorrit"; I thought Ickle WAS the "Mr."!

Okay, here's the gender-corrected version of my song:


THANK GOD, I'M A RUNTY DOG
(Tune: "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" - words and music by John Martin Summers, performed by John Denver)

Oh, life in a farm town is kinda laid back;
Aint' nothin' for a runty dog to hit the sack
Under Ick's eyes and right behind her back.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

It's a simple kinda life, never givin' a darn,
Raised up from a puppy dog a-lurkin' in the barn.
My bowls are all filled when I please and when I warn (grrr).
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Well, the perks are fun and the fun's gettin' so
That she'll rout the little town for racin' to and fro
While this girl's asleep, and I'm layin' kinda low.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

In hay I'll be good as I lay, cuttin' wood
But ol' Dorrit, Mister's wife, wants to wake me if she could
Just to piddle, use the can, an' bark for my food.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Chorus: Well, I got me a farm life, I got me round middle.
When the sun's comin' up, I can take that ol' piddle.
Right now nothin', not a bunny, gun or fiddle
Can prod an ol' runty dog!

Well, I wouldn't raid the night all primed for dog duels;
I never was one of them orn'ry horny fools.
I'd rather leave my piddle in the barn in pools!
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Yeah, silly folk hikin' in the dark without seein',
A lot of sad people thinkin' "What a flighty bein'!
Runnin' the hell around ol' Tow'rsey, ruttin', peein'
An' God, where's that runty dog?"

Chorus: Well, I got me a farm life, I got me round middle.
When the sun's comin' up, I can take that ol' piddle.
Right now nothin', not a bunny, gun or fiddle
Can prod an ol' runty dog!

Well, I piddled as a puppy in the hay so wide;
Mommy took me by the scruff and held me up to her side.
She said, "Give man no strife, play and piddle with pride
And thank God you're a runty dog!"

My Dorrit taught me young how to hunt and where to piddle,
She taught me how to lurk and lay alone while she'd fiddle.
Caught me! Now she'll love me and give her acquittal!
Thank God I'm her runty dog – yeah!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 09:29 PM

You're doing well chaps - keep it up! Although I feel the need to point out that Ickle is a lady, and a fine one too, hope she's recovered from the weekend!! Mr Ickle is lovely too, and can come back any time!

Pebble did drink vast quantities of water, from a Babycham ice bucket.... surreal in itself!

LTS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 07:56 PM

We don't Smurf much anymore in Southern California.... ever since the Breech Boys grew up....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: SharonA
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 06:28 PM

Whoops – typo alert! Second line of the chorus should read: "When the sun's comin' up, I can take that ol' piddle." Sorry!

Amos: Garg a male? ...then where's Asriel? (Smurf humor)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: SharonA
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 06:19 PM

THANK GOD, I'M A RUNTY DOG
(Tune: "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" - words and music by John Martin Summers, performed by John Denver)

Oh, life in a farm town is kinda laid back;
Aint' nothin' for a runty dog to hit the sack
Under Ick's eyes and right behind his back.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

It's a simple kinda life, never givin' a darn,
Raised up from a puppy dog a-lurkin' in a barn.
My bowls are all filled when I please and when I warn (grrr).
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Well, the perks are fun and the fun's gettin' so
That he'll rout the little town for racin' to and fro
While this girl's asleep, and I'm layin' kinda low.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

In hay I'll be good as I lay, cuttin' wood
But ol' Dorrit and wife wanna wake me if they could
Just to piddle, use the can, an' bark for my food.
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Chorus: Well, I got me a farm life, I got me round middle.
When the sun's comin' up, I can take that o' piddle.
Right now nothin', not a bunny, gun or fiddle
Can prod an ol' runty dog!

Well, I wouldn't raid the night all primed for dog duels;
I never was one of them orn'ry horny fools.
I'd rather leave my piddle in the barn in pools!
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

Yeah, silly folk hikin' in the dark without seein',
A lot of sad people thinkin' "What a flighty bein'!
Runnin' the hell around ol' Tow'rsey, ruttin', peein'
An' God, where's that runty dog?"

Chorus: Well, I got me a farm life, I got me round middle.
When the sun's comin' up, I can take that o' piddle.
Right now nothin', not a bunny, gun or fiddle
Can prod an ol' runty dog!

Well, I piddled as a puppy in the hay so wide;
Mommy took me by the scruff and held me up to her side.
She said, "Give man no strife, play and piddle with pride."
Thank God I'm a runty dog!

My Dorrit taught me young how to hunt and where to piddle,
He taught me how to lurk and lay alone while he'd fiddle.
Caught me! Now he'll love me and give his acquittal!
Thank God I'm his runty dog – yeah!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 04:30 PM

Jack: No, no -- give dem disorder instead. Its da one wid da cake!

Sharon: Garg is male, but it is debatable whether or not his testicles have descended just yet.

Nice songs, one and all. Sure beats analyzing software problems!!

A.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Gareth
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 04:10 PM

The Song of Pebbles – Or don't leave your Guinness on the bar floor

Tune: Paddy McGinty's Goat.

The. Ikkle Dorrit family, folksingers of renown,
Went up to Towersey, not far from Oxford Town.
Said they, "Sure, of singing we mean to have some fun,"
And took along their faithful dog, around the barn to run,

Now Pebbles liked that heartily, it was a doggy treat,
wandering round, amid the ground, getting under feet,
Begging sweeties from kiddies, sarnies from their mums,
Such a lovely place this folk meet, lots and lots of chums.

Pebbles was quite thirsty, just like both you an me.
She fancied some refreshment, when a glass she did see,
Of dark and creamy liquid, a sitting on the floor,
So Pebbles had a sip or two, and then had several more.

Pebbles was well brought up, not used to Porter beer,
It was too strong for little dogs, Pebbles felt quite queer.
The barn it's self was spinning, the noise it hurt her head,
Pebbles hid under the bench, and slept like she was dead.

Oh the Dorrits, they missed her, and they began to fear,
"Where has our dear Dog gone?", they hunted far and near,
They searched all through the village streets, full of remorse,
Wondering if the Oxford Police, would send Inspector Morse.

Pebbles lay there very quiet, dreaming her Liffey dreams,
Running with the Fenian dogs, over hills and streams,
She'd bitten an old black and tan, Collins had said "Good Lass",
When a searcher came and found her – Ah ! the dreams that pass !

[Well my dog behaves like that !]

Gareth.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 03:18 PM

Dis order is da one wit da h'onion rings.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: SharonA
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 03:05 PM

*hee hee hee* Noooo, I don't want to do "GUEST,`gargoyle" any physical harm. I think (s)he had a good suggestion when (s)he challenged the challenger to write her own song and, if (s)he hadn't combined it with an insult, I might have chimed in to encourage Liz to write. But since gargoyle's self-stated aim is to create chaos, I assume that his/her suggestion was a spurious one, and gargoyle's rudeness bears that out.

The problem is that gargoyle confuses "chaos" (according to the dictionary, "a state in which chance reigns supreme" or "a state of confusion"; i.e. the Mudcat Forum sans gargoyle) with "disorder" ("breach of the peace"; "unruliness"; "offensive conduct"; "not functioning in a healthy way").

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Marymac90
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 02:19 PM

Beautiful, Amos, and very clever, Jack. Don't let Gargoyle get under your skin, Sharon. He's been trying to cause trouble around the Mudcat for a long time. He seems to feed on attention, so just ignore him.

All the best,

Marymac

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 01:56 PM

Ickle's Pickle

Mr & Mrs. Ickle Dorrit
Have a little dog and they adore it
But in the barn they did ignore it
Causing them dismay, cause they thought it ran away

That fine lady Liz the Squeak
Saw Mr. Dorrit and heard him speak
"It's my Little Pebbles that I seek
I think (s)hes run away, I don't know what to say

Well they scoured the car park and down the lanes
calling little Pebbles names.
Seached all the houses behind the pub
About to call the stewards but here's the rub
He didn't go anywhere
He was sleeping under a chair (Poetic Licence from a lryical whore)

Mr. or Mrs. GUEST Gargoyle
For a fight he/she does spoil
Causes Sharons blood to boil
She wants to dip Gargoyle in oil
And burried neath six feet of soil
No more our Challenges try to foil
The fighting words were said to liz
To face the challenge hers or his
I'll tell you what My answer is
I wrote about the mutt, and GUEST can kiss my butt

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: MMario
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 01:33 PM

The Other Point of View

Where, oh where has my Ickle-man gone?
Oh where, oh where can he be?
I just took a snooze, never thought I would loose
My humans in Towserley!

I went under a bench to avoid getting drenched
with rotgut and whiskey and beer
in just forty winks, barely a blink
My Ickle-man, he disappeared!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 01:03 PM

You May Think I'm Lost

There's a small puppy sleeping,
Under a chair
Your poor human owners don't know you are there.
They are calling and looking,
Up streets and down wells,
But you're sleeping too soundly to answer their yells!
 

Cho:  "Oh you may think I'm lost, but that isn't the case

          You think I have vanished 'cause you can't see my face!

           Oh you silly old humans! You may stop all your screaming!

            You may think I'm lost, but I'm dreaming!!"

There's a small child asleep

In an old apple tree

Her parents are calling her name anxiously

She is visiting  planets,

And dancing with light,

But her parents are having a terrible fright!

Cho:  "Oh you may think I'm lost, but that isn't the case

          Do you  think I have vanished 'cause you can't see my face!

           Oh you silly old grownups! You may stop all your screaming!

            You may think I'm lost, but I'm dreaming!!"

There's a young woman's father

She sees when she can

In a home where they still

Dress him up like a man,

When he drools and he whispers

And con't use his hands

She just raises her voice to make him understand.

 

Cho:  "Oh you may think I'm lost, but that isn't the case

          'Cuz I stopped making sounds with the hole in my face!

           Oh you silly young woman! You may stop all your screaming!

            You may think I'm lost, but I'm dreaming!!"

There's a fool on the street

Who offends passers-by

They flinch from his old clothes

And his wild rolling eyes

And the Pastor walks past him,

A-shaking his head

At a lost soul he thinks he must give up for dead!

 

Cho:  "Oh you may think I'm lost, but that isn't the case

          You think I have vanished 'cause I won't use my face!

           Oh you silly old cleric, with your pastoral scheming!

            You may think I'm lost, but I'm dreaming!!"

Amos

2001

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 11:37 AM

Garg - I think you missed the point of the song CHALLENGE. Maybe I should have posted a Manners challenge, that would have given you some trouble.

It was not only my experience, there were at least 4 other 'Catters there, particularly as it was a 'Catters's dog that did the vanishing act. I just happened to be the first to focus long enough to write the challenge out.

LTS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 10:56 AM

yikes.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 10:56 AM

Hm, I may have just sent a bad draft version of the following by mistake. Anyway-- here's what I have.

All I have is a verse, from WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN.

I was sleeping in the tavern
On a cold and moonless night.
I thought I heard my master calling,
But my eyes were closed quite tight.

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 10:53 AM

LtS, all I have is a verso, from I was sleeping in the auto

On a cold and moonless night.

When I hear my master calling,

But the door was closed quite tight.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 10:53 AM

LtS, all I have is a verso, from I was sleeping in the auto

On a cold and moonless night.

When I hear my master calling,

But the door was closed quite tight.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: SharonA
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 10:30 AM

Geez, "GUEST,`gargoyle", it sounds as if you're calling all the songwriters who ever wrote about someone else's experience "lyrical whores". For someone who claims to be concerned with focusing the Forum's thoughts on music, you've just made a quite thoughtless statement about that very music.

Get real! Would you have every song that wasn't written in the first person ("I did this, I did that") banished from the face of the earth? Of course, you'd also have to eliminate all songs WRITTEN in the first person that weren't REALLY the writer's personal anecdote (where the writer takes the voice of a character in the song's tale). Basically, you'd rip the guts out of the world's musical tradition, particularly the tradition of commemorating events and tragedies (for example, a shipwreck with all hands lost) in song.

I think it's a fine idea for Liz the Squeak to write a song about her experience. I think it's a rotten idea to compare her song-challenge to a solicitation for prostitution, and to imply that anyone who writes about something that didn't happen to him or her is a whore.

Here's an idea for you, Mr./Mrs./Ms. "SPEAK or SQUEAK": why don't YOU write a song about some experience of yours, and post it to the Forum? Why not be creative, instead of bashing a request for creativity and insulting other creative people???

Most sincerely,
SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: GUEST,`gargoyle
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 03:10 AM

Look Liz....YOU, and you alone, have the details!!!!!

What are you? A man or a mouse!!!

SPEAK or SQUEAK

Write the bloody song yourself!!!! It was YOUR peresonal experience! Share it with the world.,,,through the musical medium...but don't call on the rest of us to be YOUR lyrical whores.

Sincerely, Gargoyle

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 02:50 AM

It's a converted barn, known for it's close harmony singing and evil hipflasks. The bench runs around the wall at one end, in an L shape, and it has two doors, opposite each other about a third of the way down. It has a bar, tables and chairs but Pebble was under the bench, hidden behind legs and things. She was very tired!!

Towersey is a small village (I hesistate to say one horse, it had a foal this year), with a church, a pub, a farm and about 30 houses. It is near Thame (which means river, the River Thames flows near it, but it's only a baby there), which is near Oxford, UK. It has a couple of farms on the outskirts and it is VERY rural. Sort of 'my other car is a tractor' sort of place.....

We were worried she'd seen a rabbit or some other wildlife and had gone off to investigate, it was getting quite dark (3 street lights in the village, slightly brighter than a glow worm that's been poorly....) and there was a dangerous corner just down the road where she might have been hurt.

Give you an idea??

LTS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: SharonA
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 06:53 PM

We need details! "The barn at Towersey": is this a tavern? Where's Towersey? The seat under which Pebbles was found: a wooden chair, barstool, upholstered sofa? Inside the tavern, house, or horse stall? I, the ignorant American, need some visual cues here. Hellllllp!

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE lost count!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Aug 01 - 06:24 PM

I know the song challenges are someone else's "bag" but this is too good to miss up on...

Whilst ambling into the barn at Towersey on Saturday night, I was greeted by a distraught Mr Ickle Dorrit who announced that their dog, Pebbles had vanished... Most unlike her, he said, she was tired but the door to the barn was open, and she wasn't used to the country.....

Well, we scoured the car park, called up and down the lanes, searched the houses behind the pub, all to no avail.

We were about to go and call the stewards and thus the local police station, when she was found, out of sight under the seat where she'd crawled to get some sleep!!

So your challenge, should you chose to accept it, is to write something about the amazing disappearing reappearing dog, Pebbles.

LTS