Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)

Subject: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Juanita
Date: 08 Sep 01 - 09:18 PM

Looking for the lyrics to One Ton Tomato, a parody of Guantanamera. Can't find it in forum search or DT.

Juanita

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Sep 01 - 10:56 PM

This may not be what you're looking for, but click here.

"One Ton Tomato" appears on various lists of mondegreens (misheard lyrics) that have been propagated on the Internet. I suspect it began first as a mondegreen, and then someone wrote it up as a parody. And the guy who wrote it MIGHT be Bob Mills. (Click here.) On the other hand, more than one person might have been inspired to write a parody based on a popular mondegreen.

Various sites say it has been recorded by Mike Farrow and by Sherban Cira. The Mike Farrow versions has been played on Dr. Demento's show.

One Ton Tomato also appears to be the name of a band.

That's all I can find. Juanita, if you can quote any more lines from the song, it might help.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Juanita
Date: 09 Sep 01 - 04:49 AM

All I remember is: One ton tomato, I grew a one ton tomato. One ton tomato, why eat a one ton tomato?

J.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Juanita
Date: 12 Sep 01 - 01:00 AM

still seeking the lyrics

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Sep 01 - 04:00 PM

I e-mailed Bob Mills, using the link above, and invited him to come see and discuss.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Juanita
Date: 18 Sep 01 - 04:50 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Abby Sale
Date: 18 Sep 01 - 09:08 AM

It may be that it's no more than a title but I find this at Archive of Misheard Lyrics (search 'G,' Guantanamera:

The real lyrics were:
Guantanamera, guajira guantanamera

But I misheard them as:
One ton tomato, I ate a one ton tomato.

[James McIntyre says: Michael Nesmith (of the Monkees) had a television show on ABC that ran for six episodes in the late 70's or early 80's called "Elephant Parts". The entire song was parodied, with the "one ton tomato" lyric included. I also remember that as a visual accompaniment, a large tomato fell on Mr. Nesmith.]

And I find Somebody Bit The Moon, album by Sherban Cira, reviewed March 1997 - includes, they say, his signature tune, "One Ton Tomato."

There's also a set of lyrics at Wayne Read but I don't think this one counts.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Steve Latimer
Date: 18 Sep 01 - 10:09 AM

I heard this live many years ago by a Comedic singer. He opened for Rodney Dangerfield at Toronto's O'Keefe Centre. I can't remember who it was, only that I had never heard of him and haven't since (this was proabably in the early to mid-eighties). I would love to have the lyrics, as I have been singing the onely line I remember ever since.

One ton tomata, I'm a one ton tomata, you'll never fit me in a grata, cause I'm a one ton tomato.

I hope someone can come up with rest.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 20 Sep 01 - 05:46 PM

This would be song would be funny to know. Anyone have any luck yet?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: John Routledge
Date: 20 Sep 01 - 06:49 PM

I seem to remember hearing The Mrs Ackroyd Band sing this song in concert - May have recorded it?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 06:08 PM

??????? any luck yet ????????

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: John Routledge
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 06:28 PM

It was sung by Mrs Ackroyd Band so I guess Les Barker wrote it. No other evidence though.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 01 - 07:20 PM

I can't find any mention of it at http://www.mrsackroyd.com/

Say, who are these guys? Or, who is this guy?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 22 Sep 01 - 12:05 AM

Steve, I like the line you remembered.

How about a Chinese version:
"Won Ton Tomato?"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 04:05 AM

Still trying.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: John Routledge
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:05 PM

Jim/Genie - Sorry no blicky but site is -- compulink.co.uk/~ackroyd/welcome.htm. John

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:43 PM

Well, folks, I have heard the chorus before but no verse. So I wrote some. Here they are. Feel free to modify, re-write, etc. Have fun with it.
(Now that I've re-opened the thread, I see there's a referral to another site for lyrics. I'll have to check that one out.) My lyrics are based to a great extent on the sound of the spanish verses written by Jose Marti. I'll post those later, unless someone can post a link to them in the DT.
Sonja

One Ton Tomato

Parody of "Guantanamera"
New lyrics: Chorus -- who knows? Probably a mondegreen that got spread around.
New verses by Sonja W. Oates © 2001*


Refrain:
One Ton Tomato, We grew a One Ton Tomato.
One Ton Tomato, Why not a One Ton Tomato?

We sowed our home plot sincerely
With watercress, beans and celery, (repeat)
And tasty morsels wIth such care-o,
And chard, and pears, squash, and favas.

Refrain

Need salsa verde to spare-o; wanted to harvest with great speed-o(Repeat.)
We piled on caca de vaca and then we said a little prayer-o.

One Ton Tomato, We grew a One Ton Tomato.
One Ton Tomato, Why not a One Ton Tomato? Refrain

We got huge peppers and carrots, and, I swear, giant chard! (Repeat.)
And when I saw our ripe tomatoes, I was knocked right on my arse!**

One Ton Tomato, We grew a One Ton Tomato.
One Ton Tomato, We got a One Ton Tomato!

One Ton Tomato, We grew a One Ton Tomato.
One Ton Tomato, We'll eat a One Ton Tomato!

*As, I think, is always the case at the Mudcat Cafe, the "©" on the verses I submitted applies only to commercial usage. Anyone can sing the song and write new)lyrics, have fun with it, etc. After all, it is a parody of what is, at least in part, a traditional song. (Isn't the tune to Guantamera an old Cuban drinking song?

** This verse could be sung "...chard-o..." and "...arse-o...".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 03:14 AM

Actually, I think the entire chorus--not just the tune-- is an old drinking song. Jose Marti's poem was juxtaposed with that old song for the sake of irony or something like that. The old song is about picking up women. (A Guantanamera is a woman from Guantanamo, and a guajira (sp?) is a young woman.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Genie
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 04:27 PM

Here is an alternate version I came up with.

With soy and hominy and tomatoes,
With water cress and bee balm, o.
I worked my ass off for my garden,
But one thing's clear, beg your pardon,

One-ton tomato, I grew a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomato. We'll eat that one-ton tomato.

My salsa verde is primo,
my chili con carne is bosso,
Porque my one-ton tomato
makes one mean salada tossed-o!

One-ton tomato, I grew a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomato. We'll eat that one-ton tomato.

Mucho tomatoes on my pizza,
Canning, I swear, so many jars! (repeat)
We've never had so much to eat, so
We'll need cervesa from the bar.

The real words to Marti's poem:

Yo soy un hombre sincero, de donde cresce la palma (repeat)
Y antes de morir me quiero echar los versos de l'alma.

Mi verso es de un verde claro
Y de un carmin encendido (repeat)
Mi verso es un sierro herdido
Que busca en el monte amparo.

Con los pobres de la tierra
quiero mi suerte echar. (repeat)
Un arroyo de la tierra
Me complace mas qu'el mar.

With soy and hominy and tomatoes,
With water cress and bee balm, o.
I worked my ass off for my garden,
But one thing's clear, beg your pardon,

One-ton tomato, I grew a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomato. We'll eat that one-ton tomato.

My salsa verde is primo,
my chili con carne is bosso,
Porque my one-ton tomato
makes one mean salada tossed-o!

One-ton tomato, I grew a one-ton tomato.
One-ton tomato. We'll eat that one-ton tomato.

Mucho tomatoes on my pizza,
Canning, I swear, so many jars! (repeat)
We've never had so much to eat, so
We'll need cervesa from the bar.

The real words to Marti's poem:

Yo soy un hombre sincero, de donde cresce la palma (repeat)
Y antes de morir me quiero echar los versos de l'alma.

Mi verso es de un verde claro
Y de un carmin encendido (repeat)
Mi verso es un sierro herdido
Que busca en el monte amparo.

Con los pobres de la tierra
quiero mi suerte echar. (repeat)
Un arroyo de la tierra
Me complace mas qu'el mar.

Parody lyrics by Sonja W. Oates © 2001

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Genie
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 04:30 PM

In case you're confused, Sonja and I share an internet service and computer. I was already logged in, so my name showed at the top of Sonja's post.

Genie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: MMario
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 04:37 PM

awww - you're just trying to confuse us!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 05:21 PM

If you think you're confused, a day or two ago I responded to a post from "IanB" and got a reply from a woman (whose name I can't recall at the moment, but who I would imagine is his wife) answering my question and apologizing for the confusion. I guess the same thing happened there--Ian logged on and then she made a post without the log-out/log-in procedure.

I recently saw an instruction heading here about how to set up two separate members on the same computer. I will have to check that out so I won't always have to be a "guest."

Sonja

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 09:34 AM

Faust & Lewis (Wayne Faust and Rusty Lewis), two singers of comic songs, have recorded a song called ONETONTOMATA on their album "Classy Trash," Orchard CD 614, 2000. Click here. I transcribed this from a couple of sound samples:

One-ton tomata, it was a one-ton tomata.
One-ton tomata, it was a one-ton tomata.

I have a friend here in Cuba.
In his spare time, he plays tuba.
He have a burro he raises,
And in the garden he grazes
To fertilize it and make it green,
And grow the plants like you've never seen.

One-ton tomata, he grew a one-ton tomata.
One-ton tomata, he grew the one-ton tomata.

He bring a big cart an' park it
Here at my grocery market....

[It's sung with a fake Hispanic accent.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Midchuck
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 10:07 AM

I always thought it was "One ton o' mierda."

Peter.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 12:36 PM

That's the Mafia code of silence isn't it?
John

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 12:47 PM

Hell! I always thought it was "One Ton Banana"!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: Lady Hillary
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 08:49 PM

EBarnacle here. When my son was a watcher of Sesame Street, they had a version also, as did the Muppet Show. Although I am sure they are related to versions cited above, they are certainly worth finding and checking out.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: MorwenEdhelwen1
Date: 14 Sep 12 - 01:01 AM

Actually, a guajira is a peasant woman/girl.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: One-Ton Tomato (Guantanamera parody)
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 05:10 PM

When I heard this song in a bar years ago some of the lyrics were....

Well I drove my tractor
Down to the breeder reactor...

And grew a one-ton tomato
One ton tomaaaatooooo.