BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...

Subject: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: tar_heel
Date: 25 Sep 01 - 10:56 PM

my wife and i perform each saturday morning at the downtown cinema in mt.airy,n.c..it's a jam session type thing and a round robbin format...when you get there to perform,get inline... and,at time we perform songs that only my wife and i are familiar with,so we ask the jammers if they would take a break while we do this particular sing....no big deal... except,there are hicks from the stick everywhere and mt.airy ,n.c.,is no exception... so as we finished our song,one of the participants grabs the mike in a hostile manner and begins to tell us that we are not going to tell him he cant play...that this is a jam session and we are not professional and do not belong there...(all of this over the p.a.system and in plain view of the audience who were mostly tourist from tennessee and wilmington,n.c.,to whom we just performed...) well,lets not get into who is professional here,but if you want to be embarrassed,have this jerk play on all of your songs,in the wrong key,and have the president of the mt.airy chamber of commerce tell you"maybe we can all learn a lesson here!" ... can you believe that?...they really dont care that this jerk embarressed the out of town tourist ....let alone hurt my wife's feelings so bad that she cried all day and most of the night... well,who the hell needs them.... not me and if i ever perform there again,it will be because they called me,,,,and not me asking them,because i dont need it! we have always promoted this town and its traditional music live shows and live radio broadcast of old-time and bluegrass music on wpaq radio....but,never again... not from me...ever! i've even promoted them here in these threads many times...but right now,i would wish those folks off on any of my frienmds in here!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: tar_heel
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 08:17 AM

BY THE WAY....THE JERKS NAME IS....ELBERT BRANSON...

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 08:44 AM

I'm a little unclear on one thing - is this a jam session or a performance? If it's a jam, it could explain why folks got upset when you asked them not to play. If it was a performance sort of situation and other folks were asking people not to play along, I can't see why they'd get so bent out of shape about you doing it.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: UB Ed
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 09:52 AM

Tarheel, please perform next Saturday morning as you appear to have this done on a regular basis for a long time. Act as if this never happened because you are bigger than and above that petty stuff. If you wish to do a song only you and your wife know (is this because you wrote it?), let the rest know, as well as what key and style. I would imagine only those good enough to play along with that level of information would join in.

And let Elbert Branson know that he greatly hurt your wife last week and its important to you that that doesn't happen again. Not knowing Elbert or his personality, if he doesn't honor your request, you should be prepared to follow up with him in a manner appropriate to his intellectual capability and your ability to deliver. (One of my sore spots is someone making my wife cry...)

Ed

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:30 PM

Know just how you feel tarheel. It hurts like hell and there's NUTHIN' you can do about it. We've had so many threads about dealing with rude people in musical gatherings. Almost every one has folks advising politeness to the jerks, but that simply doesn't work. Jerks are jerks, and sometimes you just can't avoid them.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:46 PM

Yes, and the best you can expect is of yourself-- not to be a jerk, yourself.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:53 PM

Please don't get me wrong - doing things differently than the way others think they should be done may be a reason why they were upset. Nothing, however, excuses them being so rude to you, publicly or otherwise. Hope you're not mad at the folks who DID enjoy your music.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:56 PM

Indeed Susan. Wise words. THAT becomes the difficult part though. Sometimes turning the other cheek can just be really odious.....plus you can end up with VERY sore cheeks after a few years...but it's still better than busting a banjo over his noggin.

In a perfect world, the President of the Mount Airy Chamber of Commerce, would have apologized to you, but I've rarely known third parties to come down on the right side....they're just glad it wasn't THEM gettin' dissed!

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: 53
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 03:18 PM

we've had that happen to us before also except it was with a mandolin player, they just don't know how to take no for an answer, as the lorrie morgan song says, what part of no don't you understand? bob.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: GUEST,Doc Rock
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 03:39 PM

I think that it depends on if you asked them to take a break for just one or two songs, or if you expected them to sit back and watch the two of you do an entire set. If it was just one or two songs, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. However, if it was the latter (and it was a true jam session), I can understand his frustration, but do not agree with his behavior.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 03:42 PM

I, personally, divide musicians into two camps...the ones whose concern is getting nice music presented to folks, and the ones whose main interest is getting **themselves** showcased. It shows not only in how they act when there is a mic & stage available, but in how they DO the songs when they are on......

you just cope, and hope that the sane ones outnumber the idiots.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: tar_heel
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 04:50 PM

FOR EVERYONES INFO...MY WIFE AND I IMMEADIATELY PACKED UP OUR INSTRUMENTS AND LEFT THE STAGE AND THEATER...AFTER ALL,STAYING AND ARGUING WITH A JERK LIKE THIS GUY WOULD ONLY HAVE MADE ME LOOK WORSE THAN HIM...I HAVE THIS PHILOSOPHY THAT IF PEOPLE IN THIS BUSINESS WANT TO BE ASSHOLES,THEN IT'S MY JOB TO HELP THEM.....

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: UB Ed
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 04:53 PM

OK. Well and good; but play next Saturday...

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 05:09 PM

And remember not to post in all caps, and break up those paragraphs so we can read you, OK hon?

~Susan

(AKA your old pal Praise)

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Cappuccino
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 05:30 PM

I hope it'll be all the sweeter next time you face an audience that loves what you do.

- Ian B

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: 53
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 06:23 PM

musicians are a funny breed . they need to show professional courtesy even if the situation is not. bob

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Banjer
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 06:35 PM

One thing I have found i sthat if somebody sets out to be an asshole they generally don't need any help. Not just in music related things but life in general.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: kendall
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 06:49 PM

Dont let them get you down, dont give them that power. In other words FUCK 'EM

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: kendall
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 06:51 PM

"I cant stand rudeness in a man...I wont tolerate it." Captain Call (Lonesome Dove)

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 07:29 PM

I'm still having problems with this one. The event is described as a "Jam Session" which to me implies everyone joins in. If that is the format, I could have sympathy with the "Jam Session" if they were consistently asked to keep quiet on lines of "we perform songs that only my wife and i are familiar with" on the grounds that it may be going against the nature of the event.

Having said that, what I'm reading is more likely to be my missinterpretation of the situation/interpretation of the words I have read here which is all I have to go on. And in any case, I can see no grounds for a public "dressing down" like that.

The other point, unfortunately is the one raised by Rick Fielding and others: Most of us have at some point or other had to deal with nastiness, watch things weve enjoyed destroyed, etc. It is a sad reality about the whole thing - to which all I can say is don't let it get you down too much or take things too much to heart - it may be time to move on but you should find better people.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 08:50 PM

I know exactly what Tarheel means and I agree with him 100%. There are few things more frustrating than performing a song which you are well aware nobody else knows and have some asshole play along with you out of time, wrong chords etc. etc. I mean these guys don't even have the courtesy to wait for a couple of verses before joining in.

It's not like Tarheel had said, "Hey, we're going to do "Soldier's Joy" but we just want to do it on our own".

There is a solution to this, which I used to do, but then I decided it was just too petty so I stopped going to this particular session. The solution is to have your instrument tuned exactly one quarter tone flat, and make sure you can sing in tune with it. That will throw the buggers. Means you can't join in on their songs, but I never found that to be a worry.

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 08:59 PM

Yes and no Murray, if the event was centered around all join it stuff, I would try to pick material that all could join in with for the sake of that principle and I believe to do otherwise (except once in a while)particulary if everone else was doing join in stuff would be selfish - sort of like saying "were the only soloists here and we do our own stuff".

I'm not saying that is the case in this instance. It probably is not. Just that matters are unclear to me.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: kendall
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 10:09 PM

I find that a couple of Bm and F#m chords will discourage the ones who know the difference, but, there are assholes who DONT know, and they will slam along anyway. Of course, I'm talking about non folk groups, and, when I have been requested to do a song. You would be surprised how many bluegrass fans also like folk.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 11:06 PM

Jon, you make a good point and I understand where you're coming from. If I was on stage and someone (even a jerk) REALLY wanted to play, I'd simplify what I was doing, or even change the songs I had planned. Easy for me to do (even though I'd rather tell jerks to go fuck themselves) 'cause I play solo and have a ton of experience at improvising....plus....THE AUDIENCE DOESN'T AND SHOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE FRICTION GOING ON,(sorry Susan, I shout so little, just thought I'd do it for fun)....but Tarheel and his wife sound like they have a "rehearsed show", so someone playing badly along with them would probably result in them looking bad.

Most jams I know DON'T have sound systems though, so I suspect this is a little more formal situation.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 11:32 PM

IT'S OK RICK!

I think there is an underlying question here-- for whom is one playing? For oneself? For others also playing? For an audience? This should show how one wishes to comport oneself-- once one remembers the main goal, which in this case can probably only occur after the upset has passed. So I am not saying what anyone should have done-- but rather saying, "OK, it sucked. Now what?"

I do have a concern, tho, that someone may invite the Person Named here, or he may find his own way here, and see that kind of slam... long after TarHeel, who is a sweetheart really, has made up with him and moved on. That would be an "oops!"!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: GUEST,Doc Rock
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 09:16 AM

I, like Jon, would still like to hear more details about the structure of this event, the number of songs that TAR HEEL wanted to play, etc. I have a lot of experience with Cajun jam sessions and the whole issue of jam session etiquette is very interesting to me.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Fortunato
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 09:46 AM

Tar Heel, I was at Mt. Airy for the festival this summer. I saw the musical venues and jams listed in the paper, etc. and thought it was an unusually good place for the Oldtime Music performer, but I knew there was a small, rural mountain town under there somewhere.

Example: At the festival I saw local girls with very modest skills place 1,2,3 in the clogging contest ahead of a WORLD CLASS clogger who just 'wasn't from around there'.

But I have two questions. You and your wife, I surmise from your posting, have been doing this for sometime. Do you live near Mt. Airy, and is this typical of your experience there, or are there redeeming qualities?

Whatever you decide to do, keep your wife's feelings uppermost as you have done. That's the most important thing. Regards, Fortunato.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 04:02 PM

Hmmm. I guess I would echo some of the others in asking exactly what type of a situation it is. I've been in jam sessions but I also just did an in-the-round thing and none of us played on the others' songs. 'Course we were all playing original songs. Even in a jam situation, though, I won't play unless I know reasonably well what I am doing. I think most people who have any manners will refrain from playing on a song they don't know.

And I say, if this is a gig you play regularly, go right on and keep playing it and don't be defeated by the occasional jerk. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Bert
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 04:42 PM

I would go back there and choose a song where the timing can be modified for effect. For example with songs like Manura Manyah you can have all sorts of fun 'Wiiiiiiiiiiiii (pause) Manuuura Manyaaaaaaaah' and then look pointedly at AH when he's three bars ahead. Or stop and say "Don't you know this one?"

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: tar_heel
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 04:51 PM

to answer some questions here.....yes,it is a weekly format jam session and there is a sound system....it is open to the public and free and folks pour in there each saturday morning from all over the country who have come to visit ,mt.airy,n.c.,the "mythical town of mayberry"from the andy griffith show... and yes,we live nearby...about 30 miles down ther road in rural hall,n.c..we have been regulars each saturday mornings and many folks are regular locals too,who come to hear peg and me do our own redition of old-time and gospel songs....and yes again,this jerk puts his guitar right up next to the microphone,picks out of timing,in the wrong key and u-name-it...no matter who plays...we rehearse every week before going and most fellow jammers can play anything that we can and get it right....but there comes a time when you have to draw the line ....this maybe a jam session,but there is a thing called professional courtesy,but i'm wasting my time expecting it from this jerk.....thank all of you for your comments and support....chuck and peggi

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 07:07 PM

Tarheel, it may feel bad at the moment but from what you have just described, I can't help but feel you are better off out of there.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Fortunato
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 10:51 AM

"....and yes again,this jerk puts his guitar right up next to the microphone,picks out of timing,in the wrong key and u-name-it...no matter who plays..."

Well, Chuck, whoever is supposed to be moderating this weekly jam, (there must have some organizer?), needs to say to this person: "Get in tune, don't play until you do. Play off mike and quietly until you are SURE you are in synch with the song. If that fails they must tell the person, "DO NOT GO NEAR THE MIKE."

If they won't educate the person because it's their sisters boy and he's local, then I think I'd find another venue, myself, sadly to say. My wife and I do a similiar act, from the sound of it, and I wouldn't subject her to that sort of crap more than once. Mt. Airy ain't Carnegie Hall and you'll receive no recognition in the situation you've described. Finally, having taught school in a prison for a few years I can tell you that the company 'inside' is real bad and the food is worse. So don't shoot the dumb son of a bitch.

regards, Chance

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 11:12 AM

Just turn his mike off. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Wesley S
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 11:31 AM

Chuck - Maybe asking him to play a guitar solo would point out how talentless he really is - "OK - Take it, Jerk"

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: tar_heel
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 06:41 PM

to clarify something here,again....this guy(the jerk)is the moderator...if you can believe that... you see,the regular guy who does this,and he is good and a good musician too,appointed this jerk to fill in for him while he and his wife are on vacation for the next 2/3 weeks.... this jerk and moderator though are rear-end kissing buddies ....dang...omg! and,the pa system is run by a member of the surry county arts council,which doesnt really care who is there as long as it's a body....they really dont... they are not even upset at all that this imbecile imbarrassed the whole community that morning,let alone hurt my wife and me to the core....even the chamber of commerce president was not upset over it.....so,i'm telling you,they really dont care....thats why i named this thread,mt.airy full of hicks....and i'm telling you,not all of them are playing musical instruments on a stage each saturday morning....

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: GUEST,jack
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 08:06 PM

I say play next week,about that chamber of commerce guy:He is interested in(probably) is the crowd you draw and the money they spend--he will probably say anything to keep the money spenders there-- and if like many of those local politician types-- knows absolutely nothing about music unless it's top 40's stuff. If I were to be critical of what you have said in any way, it would be your comment that Mt, Airy is full of hicks--to me that takes away from your argument.Don't get mad,just go back this weekend.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 08:39 PM

I find your reference to "hicks from the sticks" somewhat chilling. I've spent a lot of time collecting traditional songs and ballads in southern Appalachia, much of it in northwestern North Carolina, and I know of no more cordial and hospitable people than these good mountain folk. To put the local folks down as "hicks from the sticks" implies that you think rural mountain people have no manners and, indeed, suggests that you might feel yourself to be superior to them in some way. Perhaps they, in turn, felt that your request for a privileged "solo" performance in the midst of an "open jam" situation was the initial rudeness. Certainly, the moderator was badly out of line to dress you down in public, but I would caution against casting the first stone.

Sandy

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: marty D
Date: 29 Sep 01 - 12:36 AM

Tarheel, you've gotten a lot of support here but you just seem to be getting angrier and angrier. This started out with a simple situation of a bad musician playing along when he didn't know the music but with all your references to jerks I'm starting to wonder if there really is a good guy here. Maybe you're the one who could have handled it better.

marty

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: GUEST,Whose the hick?
Date: 29 Sep 01 - 09:04 AM

Sandy may have a point. Tar heels hostile tone and superior attitude makes one wonder about his behavior at the jam. I too, suspect an attitude of, "you rubes sit back and let us pros show you how its done." Wrong move in a setting like that. People take their instruments to jam sessions to jam, not to listen to others hog the mike.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: kendall
Date: 29 Sep 01 - 09:25 AM

Without having been there, I find it hard to make a serious comment. Truman said "If you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" Do have some sense of what the consensus is? do they all agree with you? Remember what POGO said? "We have met the enemy, and, he is us." I have found myself in the wrong place before, and, the least stressfull thing to do is leave.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: chip a
Date: 29 Sep 01 - 10:41 AM

Wev'e had a number of discussions here about the "n word" Run nigger run being a recent one. As a hick from the sticks, I take exception to your name calling. I think your attitude is pompous, insensitive and likely a slap in the face to the very people who make this stage available to you in the first place.

Chip A.

Subject: RE: BS: mt.airy,n.c.,full of hicks...
From: Ebbie
Date: 29 Sep 01 - 05:02 PM

It's like saying "everybody cheats"; all it proves is that you yourself cheat.

Ebbie