Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: Lighter
Date: 02 May 14 - 04:09 PM

Anything's possible, Dick.

But no, I don't think so.

Canadian Gitz Ingraham Rice (1891 - 1947) was a bestselling wartime songwriter and an international vaudeville star after the war. He was also a Canadian artillery officer who was wounded at Vimy Ridge in 1917.

It is virtually certain that (then) Sgt. Rice and British Sgt. Edward C. H. Rowland (1883 - 1955), a music-hall performer, created the original clean version of "Mademoiselle from Armentieres" by revising the old song of the German officer crossing the Rhine.

Circumstances make it likely that the text of "Mademoiselle" in the McGill songbook is essentially the "lost" Rowland-Rice song, written and performed for a concert party in Armentieres, perhaps in March 1915. I am midway through writing the history of the song family.

Anyway, somebody had to write "Call out the army and the navy," and Rice was well qualified to do it.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 02 May 14 - 12:17 PM

Jon-
Is it possible that the Buraby & Rice THE CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR'S LAMENT simply appropriated the "call out the..." chorus from an older (and ruder) song?

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: Lighter
Date: 01 May 14 - 12:35 PM

It has been claimed more than once that the following text proves the song to have been current "in the Peninsular War":

I don't want the Sergeant's shilling,
I don't want to be shot down;
I'm really much more willing
To make myself a killing,
Living off the pickings of the Ladies of the Town;
Don't want a bullet up my bumhole,
Don't want my cobblers minced with ball;
For if I have to lose 'em
Then let it be with Susan
Or Meg or Peg or any whore at all,

Gorblimey!

On Monday I touched her on the ankle,
On Tuesday I touched her on the knee;
On Wednesday such caresses
As I got inside her dresses,
On Thursday she was moaning sweetly;
On Friday I had my fingers in it,
On Saturday she gave my balls a wrench;
And on Sunday after supper,
I had the fucker up her,
And now she's got me up before the Bench,

Gorblimey!

However....

Those who may not notice the stylistic quirks that sing out "late 20th century!" should realize that the source of the above words, "Joseph: The Life of Joseph Bosham...Covering the years from 1790 to 1813," is a work of picaresque *fiction* (published in 1979) by the noted British novelist Julian Rathbone (1935 - 2008).

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 04:57 PM

http://www.antiwarsongs.org/canzone.php?id=45151&lang=en

The stanza Jim cited is in the song at that site.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 03:23 PM

Just for the record, both "I'll make a man out of you" and "I don't want to be a soldier" are sung in the film "Oh, What a Lovely War"

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 12:07 PM

According to WorldCat.org, the British Library has sheet music described thus:

THE CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR'S LAMENT
Words and music by Davy Burnaby and Gitz Rice
London : Herman Darewski Music Publishing Co, [1917]

The catalog gives no further information.

The McGill University Song Book, Vol. 1 (Montreal: The Students' Council of McGill University, 1921), page 193, contains only the lyrics of this one verse:

CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR'S LAMENT
By Gitz Rice

Call out the Army and the navy ('ave a banana)
Call out the rank and the file
Call out the brave old territorials
They'll face the danger with a smile (I don't think)
Where are the boys of the old brigade
They made old England free
Call out my brother my sister and my mother
But for gosh sake don't call me.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 11:22 AM

Interesting, Lighter, thank you. COs have variously been reviled, castigated, shunned, etc. I expect there would be material about COs from every war that ever was. That might be a worthwhile DT study.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: Lighter
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 10:26 AM

Thanks for the link, GUEST.

Here is the 1917 composition by Davy Burnaby and Gitz Rice, as performed by Alfred Lester. It reflects the widespread popular opinion of COs as effeminate cowards:

               THE CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR'S LAMENT



Perhaps you wonder who I am, I will explain to you
My conscience is the only thing that helps to pull me through
Objection is a thing that I have studied thoroughly
I don't object to fighting Huns but hate them fighting me
Non combatant battalions are fairly in my line
The Sergeant seemed to hate me for he calls me 'baby mine'
But I got so cross with him and rose to the attack
But when he called me 'Ethel' I called him 'Beatrice' back.

Chorus: Call out the army and the navy
Call out the rank and file
Call out the territorials
They'll face danger with a smile
Where are the boys of the old brigade
Who made old England free?
Call out my mother, my sister and my brother
But for God's sake don't call me.

We have a nasty officer, he is a horrid brute
For he got oh so terse with me 'cause I did not salute
I cut him twice today and then he asked the reason, see
I said, 'I thought my Captain dear, you were still cross with me.'
I was doing a fatigue the other day at half past two
A pal of mine got jealous of the job I had to do
When he asked me how I got it well, I said, 'You must be dense,
I'm friendly with the second Lieut. it's merely influence.'

Chorus: Call out the army and the navy
Call out the rank and file
Call out the territorials
They'll face danger with a smile
Where are the boys of the old brigade
Who made old England free?
Call out my uncle and clean out every funk hole
But for God's sake don't call me.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: Lighter
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 10:14 AM

A great movie.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: GUEST,jim bainbridge
Date: 20 Nov 13 - 10:13 AM

If you want to appreciate the power of the song 'I'll make a man of any one of you', do not miss the wonderful performance of it by Maggie Smith in Richard Attenborough's film of 'Oh What a Lovely War (lyrics as per Charles Chilton 1963)

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 10:24 PM

http://1914-1918.invisionzone.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12343&page=3

Lighter, you may wish to read that (from about six posts in). I know nothing about the song, but it sure is interesting :-)

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: Lighter
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 10:18 PM

The original parody, with no bawdy words, was called "The Conscientious Objector's Lament." It was written by Canadian Lieutenant Gitz Rice.

Rice's publisher brought a copyright suit against a London music hall performer in 1917 for performing parts of the "Lament" as the chorus to a song of his own.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 09:46 PM

I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
(Parody of 'I'll Make A Man Of You')


I don't want to be a soldier
I don't wanna go to war
I'd rather stay at home, around the streets to roam
And live on the earnings of a lady typist
I don't want a bayonet in my belly
Don't want my buttocks shot away
I'd rather stay in England
In merry, merry England
And bore the Captain's ruddy life away.

On Monday I touched on the ankle,
Tuesday I touched her on the knee....
Wednesday I had success,
She lifted up her dress,
Thursday, she touched me cor blimey,
Friday I had me hand upon it
Saturday she gave me balls a tweak,
And on Sunday after supper,
I rammed the fu**er up her,
And now I'm paying thirty bob a week, cor blimey

I don't want to joint the army,
I don't want to go to war...
I'd rather hang around Piccadilly Underground,
Living off the earnings of a high-born lady,
I don't want a bayonet up me arsole,
I don't want me bo**ocks shot away,
No! I'd rather live in England,
In merrie merrie England,
And fornicate me fu**ing life away, cor blimey....


Original words and music by Arthur Wimperis & Herman Finck - 1914


That is from

http://monologues.co.uk/musichall/Songs-I/I-Dont-Want-To-Be-A-Soldier.htm

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER BOY
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 07:36 PM

I wondered if the above song were a parody of this one, but apparently not.

From the sheet music at the UCLA Archive of Popular American Music:

I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER BOY
Words by George V. Hobart. Music by Karl Hoschna.
M. Witmark & Sons, ©1910.

1. Once I lived in a shop
Where the kids used to stop
Grinning through the window pane,
For the toys are the joys
Of the girls and the boys;
That is why we all are vain.
In the store near the door
Was a doll, oh, so small!
Gee, but I did love that dear!
But my sword and braid
Made her sore afraid,
Till I whispered in her ear:

CHORUS: "Oh, I don't want to be a soldier boy.
I'd get shot as like as not.
I don't want to have a bullet come
And hit me where it hurts an awful lot.
I don't want to be a soldier boy.
I don't want to go and hide.
I'm just longing for my toy store window
With my sweetheart by my side."

2. So I stayed in the shop
Where the kids used to stop,
Wishing for each toy in sight.
On the doll I would call,
And she'd say, ev'ry day:
"Soldier, are you going to fight?"
I'd reply with a sigh:
"Not for mine; I decline.
Reason to you I will tell:
Mister Sherman knew
Just a thing or two
When he said war was awful!

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Nov 13 - 07:04 PM

I heard this version on Spotify:

I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
As recorded by Fitzrovia Chorus & John Mealing on "Songs from the Great War" (2009)

I don't want to be a soldier.
I don't want to go to war.
I'd rather stay at home,
Around the streets to roam,
And live on the earnings of a lady typist.
I don't want a bayonet up me arsehole.
I don't want me bollocks shot away.
I'd rather stay in England,
In merry, merry England,
And fornicate my bleeding life away.

[repeat]

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 05:09 AM

I imagine its a bit like John Browns Body/The Battle Hymn of the Republic - maybe some enterprising songwriter heard the bawdy version and decided to clean it up for more repectable soirees.

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 04:50 AM

I think above, pub'd during WWi, was original of later soldier's "I don't want to be a soldier" parody, subject of this thread.

~M~

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 04:47 AM

OH ! WHAT A LOVELY WAR
Book: Charles Chilton - 1963

I'll make a man of you

The Army and the Navy need attention,
The outlook isn't healthy you'll admit,
But I've got a perfect dream of a new recruiting scheme,
Which I think is absolutely it.
If only other girls would do as I do
I believe that we could manage it alone,
For I turn all suitors from me but the sailor and the Tommy,
I've an army and a navy of my own.

On Sunday I walk out with a Soldier,
On Monday I'm taken by a Tar,
On Tuesday I'm out with a baby Boy Scout,
On Wednesday a Hussar;
On Thursday a gang oot wi' a Scottie,
On Friday, the Captain of the crew;
But on Saturday I'm willing, if you'll only take the shilling,
To make a man of any one of you.

I teach the tenderfoot to face the powder,
That gives an added lustre to my skin,
And I show the raw recruit how to give a chaste salute,
So when I'm presenting arms he's falling in.
It makes you almost proud to be a woman.
When you make a strapping soldier of a kid.
And he says 'You put me through it and I didn't want to do it
But you went and made me love you so I did.'

On Sunday I walk out with a Bo'sun.
On Monday a Rifleman in green,
On Tuesday I choose a 'sub' in the 'Blues',
On Wednesday a Marine;
On Thursday a Terrier from Tooting,
On Friday a Midshipman or two,
But on Saturday I'm willing, if you'll only take the shilling,
To make a man of any one of you.

original music and lyrics by Arthur Wimperis and Herman Finck) – adapted by Chilton for Joan Littlewood's famous WW1 revue 'Oh What A Lovely War!' [1963 ~ see wikipedia article

~Michael~

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: GUEST,Fowler
Date: 02 Jan 12 - 02:51 AM

Maybe a version censored for my benefit...as my grandfather (canadian WW2 vet) would sing:

I don't want to be a soldier,
I don't want to go to war.
Leave me here at home amongst the fields to roam,
Glory, glory, glory hallelujah!

Subject: RE: Lyr/Tune Req: I Don't Want to Be a Soldier
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 08:33 PM

I learned the chorus thus:

Call out the Army and the Navy
Call out the rank and file
Call out the bloody Territorials
From the dear old Emerald Isle
Call out the laddies from Australia
To keep old England free
Call out me brother and me sister and me mother
But for Gawd's sake don't call me!

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER (trad WW1)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Mar 10 - 02:19 PM

From Tommy's Tunes: A Comprehensive Collection of Soldiers' Songs, Marching Melodies, Rude Rhymes, and Popular Parodies,... by Frederick Thomas Nettleingham (London: Erskine Macdonald, Ltd., 1917), page 37:


I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER.
Tune: "Come, My Lad, and Be a Soldier."

I don't want to be a soldier,
I don't want to go to war;
I'd rather roam
Here at home,
And keep myself on the earnings of a lady typist.*
I don't want a bayonet in my stomach,
Nor my eyelids shot away,
For I am quite happy
With my mammy and my pappy—
So I wouldn't be a soldier any day.


[* Another one of those word substitutions which, by its lack of rhyme and excess of syllables, calls attention to itself. I like to think this clever bit of wordplay was used by the singing soldiers themselves for humorous effect, and not invented by the editor to bowdlerize the original text—but who knows?]

Subject: RE: need lyrics and music - Don't Want to be a Soldier
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 05 Oct 02 - 08:03 AM

I don't want to be a soldier,
I don't want go to war,
I'd rather 'ang around
Picadilly underground
Living on the earnings of a 'igh born Lady.
Don't want a bullett up my backside,
Don't want my belly shot away.
Oh, I'd rather be in England,
Merry, merry England,
Livin' on a Limey's pay, Gor blimey.
Call out the members of the old home guard.
They'll face danger with a smile, Gor blimey.
Call out the members of the guard's brigade.
They'll keep England free.
Call out my brother,
My sister and my mother,
But for God's sake don't call me.

Source, with sheet music:
Lynn, Frank:
Songs for singin' / by Frank Lynn. - San Francisco : Chandler Publishing Coy; 1961. - 263 pages
Congress Catalog Number M61-1036

If you have difficulties to obtain the sheet music, mail me your postal address and I will send you a copy.
Wilfried

Subject: RE: need lyrics and music - Don't Want to be a Soldier
From: GUEST,Lt. Col. (Ret) Alfred Eigenberg
Date: 05 Oct 02 - 12:09 AM

WWI version.
I don't want to join the Army
I don't want to go to war
I just want to 'ang around, Picadilly underground
Living on the earnings of a high-priced laidy
I don't want a bullet in me backside
I don't want me knackers shot away
I want to stay in England, jolly,jolly England
And fornicate my bloomin life, away. gorblimy.

Refrain:

Call out the members of the Queens Marines
Call out the Kings Artillery
Call out me mother, me sister and me brother
But for Gods sake don't call me

Second Verse:

Monday night me 'andwas on her ankle
Tuesday night me'and was on her knee
Wednesday night success, I lifted up her dress
Thursday night I lifted up her her silk chemise
Friday night I had me 'and upon it
Satuday night I gave it a bit of a twitch
But it was Sunday after supper was when I got it 'upper
And now it costs me 15 bob a week, gorblimey
((first refrain)

Subject: RE: need lyrics and music - Don't Want to be a Soldier
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Oct 01 - 02:59 PM

Thanks, Walrus! Seems no song is "original." Why am I not surprised.

Subject: RE: need lyrics and music - Don't Want to be a Soldier
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 09 Oct 01 - 02:05 PM

This "Call out my Mother..." chorus is cribbed from a version of "Boys of the Old Brigade"

Send for the boys of the Girls brigade,
Send out the rank and file,
Send out the Army and the Navy,
They'll face danger with a smile.
Send for the brave Territorials,
They'll keep the Empire free
Send for my Mother,
My sister and my brother
But for Gawd's sake don't send me.

Best Wishes

Walrus

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Oct 01 - 11:57 AM

Guest Keitho's version is very similar to one my old friend Denis Puleston used to sing, and also shares the Monday to Sunday verse parody of "I'll Make a Man of You" which I never was aware of - now it makes more sense:

I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
(Learned from the singing of Denis Puleston of Brookheaven, Long Island)

Monday I touched her on the ankle,
Tuesday I touched her on the knee,
Wednesday with success I lifted up her dress,
Thursday her chemise, gor-blimey!
Friday I put my hand upon it,
Saturday she gave me balls a tweak,
But it was Sunday after supper,
I rammed it up her scupper,
Now I do it seven days a week, gor-blimey!

I don't want to join the Army,
I don't want me knockers shot away,
I just want to hang around,
Piccadilly underground,
Living off the earnings of a high born lady,
Call out the Army and the Navy,
Call out the old Home Guard,
You can always call the Bold Territorials,
They'll save England with a smile, gor-blimey!

Call out me mother and me brother,
Call out the old Home Guard;
You can call out me mother,
Me sister and me brother,
But for God's sake, don't call me!

Subject: Lyr Add: OH, I DONT WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
From:
Date: 09 Oct 01 - 08:30 AM

OH, I DONT WANT TO BE A SOLDIER
********************************

  Oh, I don't want to be a soldier
  I don't want to join the fightin' class
  I just want to go
  Down to old Soho
  Pinchin' all the girlies in the shoulder blades
  Oh, I don't want to see the Queen's dominions
  Why -London's- full o' girls I've never 'ad
  I just want to stay in England
  Jolly jolly England
  And follow in the footsteps of me dad
  
          So call out the members of the Queen's Marines
          Call out the King's Artillery
          Call out me mother
          Me sister and me brother
          But for Chrissake don't call me
  
  Monday night me 'and was on her ankle
  Tuesday night me 'and was on her knees
  Wednesday night, success!
  I lifted up her dress
  Thursday night I lifted up her silk chemise
  Well, Friday night I got me 'and upon it
  Saturday night I gave it just a tweak
  Sunday after supper
  I finally got in up her
  And now I'm payin' thirty bob a week (Gorblimey...)
  
          Call out the members of the Queen's Marines
          Call out the King's Artillery
          Call out me mother
          Me sister and me brother
          But for Chrissake don't call me
  
  Oh, I don't want to join the Navy
  And I don't want to go to war
  I just want to 'ang around
  Piccadilly underground
  Livin' off the earnings of an 'igh-class lady
  I don't want a bullet up me backside
  An' I don't want me knockers shot away
  I just want to stay in England
  Jolly jolly England
  And fornicate me bloomin' life away
  
          So call out the members of the Queen's Marines
          Call out the King's Artillery
          Call out me mother
          Me sister and me brother
          But for Chrissake don't call me

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY
From: Ferrara
Date: 08 Oct 01 - 11:06 PM

Well as usual I learned a "Street" version that isn't quite the same.... we sang this at GWU in the early 60's and I still sing it around the house sometimes....

I don't want to join the Army,
I don't want to go to war
I just want to hang around
In London by the Underground
Living off the earnings of a high-class lady [LIgh-dy]!

I don't want to join the Navy, ["NIgh-vy"]
I don't want to sail away
I just want to hang around
In London by the Underground
And Fornicate me bloomin' life away!

Subject: RE: need lyrics and music - Don't Want to be a Soldier
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 08 Oct 01 - 05:33 PM

Click here for the original lyrics of I'll Make a Man of You along with all the other songs featured in Joan Littlewood's wonderful film "Oh What a Lovely War"

Murray

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Looking for lyrics and music for son
From: Gervase
Date: 08 Oct 01 - 08:00 AM

Liz, my grandmother taught me that one (she'd giggle at the word "bollocks", but gamely sing the whole thing)!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Looking for lyrics and music for son
From: GUEST,Sandra Gordon
Date: 08 Oct 01 - 01:02 AM

Thank you all for your helpful replies. I have the words and music for the song and I appreciate the time you took to get back to me. This was not for me, but for a friend who had asked me about whether I knew this song and whether I could get the lyrics and tune for her. This is a great site, and thanks so much.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Looking for lyrics and music for son
From: Snuffy
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 01:44 PM

It is a parody of an English WWI recruiting song, which I can't remember. The chorus ends:

......... if you're willing
To only take the shilling
I'll make a man of any one of you.

Sheet music for this should be readily available (if only I could remember the title)

Wassail! V

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Looking for lyrics and music for son
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 11:05 AM

There is a longer variant in the DT, with a more complicated (and probably earlier) tune that the one I remember:  I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE ARMY

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Looking for lyrics and music for son
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 03:27 AM

And the tune please?? Gervase, I hope you've added this one to your collection!!

LTS

Subject: Lyr Add: I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER^^^
From: Pene Azul
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 01:33 AM

I DON'T WANT TO BE A SOLDIER

I don't want to be a soldier
I don't want to go to war
I'd rather hang around
Piccadilly underground
Living off the earnings of a high-born lady

Don't want a bullet up me arsehole
Don't want me bollocks shot away
I'd rather be in England
In merry, merry England
And fornicate me fucking life away


^^^

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Looking for lyrics and music for son
From: Pene Azul
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 01:32 AM

You can get the lyrics here, and with some info on this page.

Jeff

Subject: Looking for lyrics and music for song
From: GUEST,Sandra Gordon
Date: 07 Oct 01 - 01:28 AM

I am looking for the rest of the words as well as the music for a song that starts "I don't want to be a soldier, I don't want to go to war, I'd rather hang around the Piccadilly Underground living with a high born lady" Do any of you know it?