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BS: Lessons our Moms taught us
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,adavis@truman.edu Date: 03 Jun 02 - 12:13 AM My mother, pretty much daily, told me I was stupid and lazy. This was more or less good-natured, affectionate abuse. But much of my life since leaving home has been an effort to refute that. She was in her way loving, but her own upbringing was dysfunction junction, and I am by contrast much more physical with my kiddywids. Any behavior she disapproved of -- appearing in public barefoot, swearing, nosepicking -- would move her to remind me: "you are NOT TRASH!" Only much later did I realize she was aware that reading and wearing shoes were still novelties for our mmm, dynasty, pretty recently down from the hills, and she was letting me know that I was teetering, and which way I tumbled was all for me to choose. She taught herself which fork was which, and what was good stuff and junk, and she made sure her children appreciated the difference too. Her passing was hard, and one of the nicest things anybody ever said to me, and a tribute I think Mom would have liked, was when one of my students (a non-traditional, a lady much older than myself)said, by way of comfort, "Anybody can see you had a fine mother." Adam |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,DW at work Date: 02 Jun 02 - 08:01 PM My mom is the same. She's into everything. She just hit 60, still hasn't got a grey hair and is about to try rock climbing. Guess she's still being the spaced out hippy. She taught me how to shoot straight, play piano and sew a button on. Pa taught me how to cook, lift stage gear properly and hit a rim shot without breaking the sticks. They both taught me never to name my kids after concept albums, rock bands or other musicians! My kid sister will back me up on that, I though mine was bad, but she got stuck with Bright Galadriel Weaver. She changed it in college and has never regretted it. DW |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Jun 02 - 03:35 PM My mother also discovered a whole new side of herself as soon as she realised my father wasn't going to come back. It took her 3 days to work out that he wasn't going to get angry for retuning the radio (to a station playing stuff that I listened to 20 years previously and she would tell me to turn off) and that she could have her tea at 3.00 if she wanted to, rather than at 4.00 when he wanted it. Seeing that, made me want to never get that dependant on any one person ever. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 02 Jun 02 - 01:16 PM Howzabout "lessons our Moms are still teaching us." My Mother will be 95 on June 5th, and she is still showing me the way. She was driving a milk truck on my Grandfather's dairy farm when she was 13, and drove until a few months ago. Five years ago when my Father died, my Mother blossomed into a wonder to behold. The day after the funeral, I took her out and we got a stereo, a small entertainment center and a handful of CDs. My Mother has loved music all of her life, but my Father could get real nasty when my Mother tied to play music in the house. After we picked up the stereo, I took Mom out to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants she wasn't allowed to go to because my father didn't like it. I ordered a burrito, and she got one too. Because she'd never had a burrito and she wanted to see what it tasted like. In many ways, My Mother wanted to see what life tasted like. She was like an enthusiastic teenager, catching up on a life that in many ways had been on hold for almost seventy years of marriage. She could experiment and do whatever she wanted. Part of that freedom was to refresh her spiritual life. My Father went to church with my Mother for the last twenty or thirty years of their life together, but didn't want her to go to bible study, so she stayed home with him. My Mother taught me about God and Christ, not just by reading to me, but by the way that she lived. But, she wasn't any Mary Poppins. She loved kidding around, laughing and having a good time. And still does. At 95, she has the most curious mind of anyone I know. She's talking about getting a computer, because she doesn't want to be behind the times. She also taught me the joy of helping others. When my wife and I visit her, she is always picking up little presents for people she knows who can't get out any more. Like all good people, my Mother has always led by example. And she still is. God willing, we'll be blessed with her for a few more years, because she is still in good health and active enough to wear my wife and me out when we go to visit her. Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: toribw Date: 02 Jun 02 - 11:25 AM Well said, Jerry, especially in your last paragraph. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 02 Jun 02 - 07:40 AM Gamine:
In times of tragedy, it seems unnatural not to release grief in tears. A few years ago, a young many who worked at the Museum where I worked committed suicide. He was a member of the church I was going to at the time, and I was asked to give the eulogy. It was a particularly painful time because the young man had been the leader of a boy scout troup and all the scouts were there in uniform, completely devastated. I got through most of the eulogy all right, but I finally reached a point where my emotions overpowered me and I started to break down, so I had to leave the lectern. Later, a woman who I worked with, who I had never seen show any emotion in all the years I'd knownher, came over and asked me if I was all right. I told her that I was fine... that she should check on all the people who didn't cry to see how they were doing.
I only saw my Father cry once, so it was particularly touching. My Father didn't show his emotions... love, or grief. He showed anger and hurt with ease, though. One day when I was home visiting my family, he became so hurt and frustrated that his family didn't agree with him on a surrealistic interpretation of the actions of our next door neighbor that he suddenly started crying. I threw my arms around him and his shoulders just shuddered, as he let a lifetime of feelings of rejection pour out of his soul. I just held him and told him that we loved him very much, until he cried himself out. I never saw him cry again. Perhaps if he had just been able to accept the feelings he had inside and release them, he would have had a happier life.
It's a shame that some men associate being sensitive and comfortable with your emotions as being gay. It's a pity that some men have such a fear of gays and find it necessary to "prove" their masculinity by ridiculing them. I don't find it a contradiction to be masculine, heterosexual and sensitive. We're all just trying to make our way.
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,gamine Date: 02 Jun 02 - 06:25 AM Jerry, You are an inspiration. I remember when my grandad died a few years back and my three cousins (all boys - and definitely favored) were at the memorial, standing in front of out Grandad's dead body...they didn't shed a tear. And then I watched my cousin's father, my Uncle Roy, as he sat alone and cried -the first time I had ever seen. My cousin, Jason, the oldest of my Uncle's boys, and clearly my Grandad's favorite, said to me, "I have never seen my father cry." He was 17. What a shame, and what a blessing all at the same time. I know it is off the topic, but why do men not find it within themselves to cry openly? I am reading "Real Boys" right now and most of the information tends to point to the fact that boys *do* want to cry but feel they will be seen as weak or gay or....? if they do, and so they isolate themselves and cry in private, alone. I commend you, Jerry, on your willingness to express that which was in you in the moment...and I thank you for your continued commentary. Jenn
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Bluebeard Date: 01 Jun 02 - 11:37 PM My mother taught me what love really is. Bless her. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Irish sergeant Date: 01 Jun 02 - 09:45 PM Glad to see the thread is alive.Mom also taught me Life will throw you knuckle balls, you will miss them, and that is o.k. (She had a wicked underhanded slider pitch that all my friends envied.) It's o.k to sing out of tune (She didn't but sometimes i did) If the cat joins in you might want to rethink that. Mr. Miss and mrs aren't just titles they are badges of respect for others and yourself. And I quote,"Trust me, the dog will not eat spinach!" It all adds up that she taught me how to appreciate myself and others and make a mistake or two and not think it's the end of the world. Kindest regards to all And Bron, I'm glad things are going better with you and your mom. Neil |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 01 Jun 02 - 08:31 PM Hi, Gamine:
Just in case you check back in.
A couple of years ago I retired after being the director of a large Museum for 30 years. I had built a wonderful staff... creative, hard-working, loyal,dedicated people. Over the years, I came to know many of their families, and suffered along with them when they had a death or divorce or a serious illness. The Museum held a retirement celebration for me and after all the kind words were said, I was called up to talk. When I began to talk about what a wonderful staff I was leaving, and what good people they were, I started to choke up and couldn't talk. I just paced on the stage, with tears running down my face. Finally, all I could blurt out was "Real Men Cry." It brought everyone to their feet for a standing ovation, and many others were crying ... women, and some men, too.
My Mother taught me to love, and with love can come all the other emotions: joy, exhilaration, regrets, sorrow, even grief. As the bible said, even before Pete Seeger, there is a time to cry. It didn't say nothin' about women only...:-) Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: greg stephens Date: 01 Jun 02 - 07:00 PM My nother taught me the meaning of metaphor, simile, litotes, synecdoche, zeugma, oxymoron etc etc, also how to cook omelettes and gingerbread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,gamine Date: 01 Jun 02 - 01:54 PM Gargoyle, Just for your information, I am female, not that it should matter, but I just would like you to know. If you had some knowledge of other languages you may have recognized the feminine twist to an otherwise male- connontating word of French origin: gamin. Gamine has a pretty cool meaning, and very deftly describes me. Look it up, if you own a dictionary (or know how to use one. In the future I would suggest putting a little bit of effort into your digs; they will probably not fall of deaf ears if you do. Also, why should it matter to you if I *were* male? Couldn't a man learn the same things from his mother that I did? Why should he have to be gay if he did? Care to respond?
Toribow, Sounds like we could be sisters! :-) Jerry, I appreciate your input and enjoy reading your commentary! Thank you! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 01 Jun 02 - 12:40 PM Toribow: Sounds like you had a great Mother!
Truthtroller: my suspicions are confirmed. You have nothing to offer. Truthmember |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Amos Date: 01 Jun 02 - 10:53 AM One thing my mother taught me was the core wisdom of writing. She told me to cleave to the concrete; to cleave to the Angol-Saxon; to cleave to the ineluctable; and to put my ass in the chair if I expected to get any writing done. Well, what she said was "Nil die sin linea", but it amounts to the same thing. I have never met a better set of rules, more succinctly put,. anywhere or time. Thanks, Ma! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: toribw Date: 01 Jun 02 - 10:34 AM You're very right, Jerry. My mother would say she's a nothing special, not particularly talented and not a beauty. She's wrong on all counts. She had six children, and received not a penny of support and she somehow managed to keep it all together the entire time we were growing up. She worked two jobs through most of my years in school, and rarely let us see how tired she really was. That, to me, is strength. She demonstrated constantly that laughing was better than crying, not to bemoan my lot in life, but to work every day to improve the situation. Her philosophy is if you don't like what's going on with your life, quit complaining and change it. She showed me that trying new things and failing was much better than wondering what might have been. She taught, by example, that I shouldn't just sit but do something, whether it's reading, singing, sewing, cleaning or gardening. Make good use of time, since it slips away all to quickly. Her wonder at where in the world I got this desire to sing and play music in public is kind of surprising to me. Her lessons inspire me to try, to stretch myself and not be afraid to take chances. She was right, of course, music has turned out to be one of the most rewarding things in my life. Fear of failure could have easily kept me from trying at all. Thanks, mom. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Truthtroller Date: 01 Jun 02 - 10:05 AM you don't know why it died Jerry?? Like I said,there's a message.Slip sliding away,slip sliding away. T.T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 01 Jun 02 - 06:34 AM Truthtroller: The length of a thread isn't much of a measure of its value. Even though things have lightened up in the last couple of months, threads that attack Mudcat usually draw over 100 responses. Some people respond to those threads several times out of irritation or a need to defend Mudcat, and some find the threads entertaining, and don't take them seriously. They are a diversion, and a chance to get a little down and dirty, or just exchange semi-witty responses.
Some long threads are just fun... like the one on favorite town names. I'm all for fun.
There have been many more thoughtful threads that have run over 100 postings... Career Regrets and Family Keepsakes being two that come immediately to mind. When anyone starts a thread, they just throw it out there and see where it goes. I don't know why this thread died so quickly because I wasn't a Mudcatter when it started. I'm glad to see it back, and I expect that it will continue to go on.
The good threads become conversations, not serial postings. Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: ozmacca Date: 01 Jun 02 - 05:38 AM My mother taught me that marriage is a partnership in every sense of the word - and my father proved it. Both partners have to be dedicated to making it work for the best results. My parents were the happiest people I ever knew, but I like to think that my wife and I are a pretty close second.... except when I sit here pounding away at a computer keyboard.............. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST Date: 01 Jun 02 - 03:15 AM Did you also share her bed until age twelve? What sort of a gay boy are you Gamine? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 01 Jun 02 - 03:12 AM Don't crap your pants
Shit sticks, stinks, and irritates those around you, and your own behind.
If you do the doo, its up to you, to clean the poo.
Sincerely,
More than a little allegory intended. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Truthtroller Date: 01 Jun 02 - 12:51 AM Strange to note that this posting is drifting away and yet there 105 postings to Duffers on the net and 126 to American Civil War songs. There's a message there somewhere. Ain,t that the truth. T.T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Merryb Date: 31 May 02 - 11:50 PM
NEVER!!
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Merryb Date: 31 May 02 - 11:46 PM my mother abandoned me . i have ever forgiven her. Merryb |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Gamine@hotmail.com Date: 31 May 02 - 11:27 PM My mother taught me to cry with dignity. She taught me how to be strong in a man's world and yet, at the same time, to cling to that which makes me most feminine. She taught me the value of a well-timed, passionate rage and the beauty of a fluttered eyelash. She taught me how to walk with my shoulder's back and my head up, at all times, and in all circumstances, even the ones that want to swallow me whole. My mother taught me how to make hospital corners. My mother pointed out spring bulbs as they pushed their way through the last of Michigan's harsh snows; every year she did that, and now I know their names like they are my own children: daffodil, iris, tulip, hyacinth...My garden has her to thank. My mother taught me that the bathtub is really a sanctuary of warmth and sweet scented bubbles to be enjoyed privately and often and for hours at a time. My mother taught me to make love to myself first, and that way I would always have enough to share. She taught me how to throw a perfectly spiraled football -better than most men I know. She showed me how to cook without measuring and to love the same way that I cooked. She showed me how to laugh with my whole body. My mother showed me that grown-ups make mistakes, too. And my mother, bless her, taught me to listen to my heart and to my mind and to find the narrow space of truth that lies between the two.
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc Date: 31 May 02 - 09:03 PM Good idea to refresh this one Wesley,especially with the 'father'one running too. It's amazing how we can learn from our parents without even knowing it most of the time. I was adopted by my birth mother's brother and his wife but was always so much closer to him. My "Mum" as I called her was never much interested in me or in what I did. She was, of course, handy with her slaps,but then again her mother,who had thirteen children!! was more than handy too. She [my nana]came from quite a violent family life. Her husband was a violent man. Having said that, I have always envied the close relationship many people had/have with their mothers.I realize I'm rambling and even though 'Mum' is dead, it's still a very raw tip of the ice berg. Doc |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 31 May 02 - 04:40 PM Thanks for refreshing this, Wesley. I weren't a Catter when it came around the first time.
I grew up in a town (in Wisconsin) where black folks wouldn't dare to come, so I never saw discrimination. The next town to us had a good-sized black population but they learned from experience that they would never get waited on in stores in my home town, and would be verbally abused.. if not physically threatened. I'm glad to say that those days have long since passed, and when my wife and I go out to visit (she is black) we are treated with respect and welcomed with great warmth.
I remember my Mother singing a song to me when I was a little boy, "Stay In Your Own Back Yard." She'd get me up on her knee when I came home from neighborhood taunting and bullying, and sing me the song, and I really identified with the little black boy in the song. I'll put down the only fragment I can remember of the song, and maybe even start a thread to see if anyone knows the rest. It would be considered politically incorrect to sing it now, ironically. The song taught me not to judge anyone by their color.
The chorus is:
"Now honey, you just stay in your own backyard
It had words like pickaninny and nappy-headed in it. And I can remember parts of other lines. Guess I'll ask Mom to sing it for me. She's 95 and a lot more mentally alert than I ever was. :-) Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Wesley S Date: 31 May 02 - 09:01 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Rory B Date: 19 Oct 01 - 09:06 PM My Mom is 82 years old. She came to this country from Holland after the war to marry my Dad. It was not until I was grown up and on my own for many years that I came to realize what it was like for her. A strange country and a new language...and I am certain that the ideal picture painted for her by my Dad was not at all what she found when she arrived. Thinking back on my childhood I now realize that it was her crazy sense of humour that got her through it. We laughed a lot with Mom, I still do! We used to break into wild polka dances singing the music at the top of our lungs...da da da da da da da da da da....dancing around the kitchen like fools and laughing until we cried. One very clear memory I have is when I was about 4 years old....Mothers day was coming and I asked Mom....when is kids day? She said..it's today!!!!! We went to the candy store to celebrate. Sadly Mom suffers from osteoporosis and can't do the wild polka thing with me anymore. It has not dampened her sense of humour at all....her latest joke....she told me she has old people's furniture disease....her chest is falling into her drawers! Hugggs -Rory- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Ely Date: 19 Oct 01 - 08:44 PM Basic needlework and cooking (although my mother hates to cook, or maybe that's why she made sure my brother and I learned). When somebody asks for salt, it's proper to pass pepper, too. "Don't do anything to which you wouldn't want to admit". She taught me about acceptance, too. My crash course in gay/lesbian issues was her explanation that [a close friend's] marriage had not worked because she was married to a man but preferred women. I'd known this woman for years before I knew she was gay so it didn't seem that weird. (Okay, I know it's a touchy subject) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Llanfair Date: 19 Oct 01 - 05:18 PM Thanks, Neil, I was having a late-night moan. We rub along pretty well now, and I can tell her when she hurts my feelings. Cheers, Bron. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Souter Date: 19 Oct 01 - 03:48 PM In our family, it was a bit backwards, my mom worked, my dad stayed home.And from them both I have a veritable fount of knowledge. For example, I can say that without stumbling. Mostly I learned by watching them. If my dad got upset, he went and complained, even if it was stupid like not getting napkins with his fries, you had to fight for your rights.(Big into the whole civil rights thing.) My mom does too, but much more politely, she doesn't act all offended. And people react better to her. So you might have to fight for your rights, but it doesn't hurt to be polite.(My dad said that too, but that doesn't meen he followed it. He wasn't real big on authority figures.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: beadie Date: 19 Oct 01 - 11:42 AM Mom was ahead of her time. In the late fifties and early sixties, boys were not allowed to take "home ec.," even for basic survival skills like washing your shorts, frying an egg and dusting the apartment. (Of course, girls weren't allowed in auto shop, either, not even to learn how to change a flat or check the oil) Mom made certain that I knew my way around a stove, a washing machine and the vacuum cleaner, bless her. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Irish sergeant Date: 19 Oct 01 - 11:09 AM Bron, I do hope that she realizes what a gem she has as a child. It is unfortunate that some people just seem to be born to be miserable. That you chose to take care of her and your step-father says volumes about your character. I also hope that she finds some measure of happiness in her life. Best of luck to you, Neil |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Llanfair Date: 18 Oct 01 - 07:21 PM My mum didn't teach me anything, except how NOT to be. She didn't like me very much, and avoided physical contact. She made sure I knew I was lazy and useless at housework, despised my friends...wouldn't let them in the house, because they were common, and was very pleased when I got married and moved away. She was and is a deeply unhappy woman. I look after her and my stepfather now, they are in their 80's. She doesn't like him very much, and avoids physical contact with him........ She has no friends, except the lady I pay to visit twice a week, but me. She is genuinely grateful for everything I do for them, and complains bitterly about my stepfather all the time. He has had a stroke which has affected his speech to the extent that he can't remember her name most of the time, which she takes as a personal affront. Sorry, had to add my bit. I don't know how I will react when she's not here anymore. Cheers, Bron. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Wyrd Sister Date: 18 Oct 01 - 02:59 PM That, no matter how many turned up to eat, there would always be enough food if shared. How I wish the world would understand that idea. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Leila Date: 17 Oct 01 - 07:27 PM Mom taught me that sometimes you have to be loud to be heard. Dad taught me the value of quiet. They are polar opposites who are the perfect match for eachother. On the bizarre colour issue. I am much younger than Wesley who is only a few years younger than my parents, but when I was around 5 or 6 my mom had to explain that some people still saw skin colour as an issue. This was in Toronto in the early-mid 1970's. I was in love (that cute puppy love obviously - we were around 5years old) with a boy. I'd told my mom that he was beautiful and had brown curly hair, big brown eyes, and was really funny. Naive yes, but I honestly thought different skin colours were the same as different hair or eye colours. THe thing is, my teacher didn't see it that way and called my mother to alert her to the 'problem' of me spending too much time with this boy. Misunderstanding, she said she knew all about him and thought it was harmless puppy love. THe teacher told her that she was talking about the boy being black. Mom, shocked asked 'so-what?' I had a hard time understanding what she was trying to tell me about skin colour meaning more to some people than hair colour. I still have a hard time understanding things at odds with logic. So I guess mom also taught me that just because others fail to understand sense doesn't mean I have to agree or accept their lack of sense. Ignorance was not limited to the American south in the 50's and 60's. Toronto! I've seen it there in the 80's too. Peace, Leila |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Deda Date: 17 Oct 01 - 06:09 PM Aside from all the wonderful songs, from "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" to "Jeepers, Creepers, Where'd ya get those peepers?" and "I love you, a bushel and a peck, you bet your pretty neck I do", I think the most important thing my mother taught me was always to love and forgive your own children, no matter how far they go, or how hard it is. We tested her severely on that, and she never failed. I always figured I could forgive my kids anything they did as long as it wasn't what I did. But at some level, it always is, pretty much, exactly what I did that I find hardest to deal with, and I wish I could find her and tell her, "Do you remember that day when I completely ignored you, paid no attention whatsoever to what was happening to you? I'm really, really sorry!" And I guess I must have been paying some attention because I sure remember it now, decades later. This isn't to say she was perfect, or even close. I don't think there has been a perfect parent, since Adam and Eve. I just have learned how much harder parenting is than it looked before I had to do it, and I've let her off the hook, I think. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie Date: 17 Oct 01 - 01:17 PM you're right Neo and I'd like to think I have done at least that. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Irish sergeant Date: 17 Oct 01 - 10:22 AM My mother, God rest her, gave me a love of the written word but more importantly she taught me the value of the golden rule: Treat others as you wish to be treated. (Not the other golden rule which says he who has the gold makes the rules). Both of my parents instilled a love of music and a love of learning. Condolences to Crowhugger and Heather Fielding. No words can help but I do offer my wish that you grief eases quickly. Kindes reguards, Neil |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: John Hardly Date: 17 Oct 01 - 08:41 AM She taught me the value of reading. She taught me to think the best of people but at the same time understand that people aren't what they seem on the surface--sometimes you have to dig a bit deeper to understand us For instance, is was she who taught me that shyness is NOT an indicator of humility---on the contrary, shyness is a self-obsession that assumes the world is as focused on YOU as you are. ...lots of other gems like that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Fibula Mattock Date: 17 Oct 01 - 08:02 AM My mum (a librarian) taught me to read. My love of books, of reading and writing is one of the most important things in my life. Advice wise, one thing that sticks out is her telling me never to give up friends because of a bloke. It must have worked - I'm with a bloke who was my friend first. There's a bit in Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy: "It's times like these when I wish I'd listened to my mother." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Little Neophyte Date: 17 Oct 01 - 07:20 AM Kim, even if your mom was (or is) distant, you can still learn much from her.....how not to be that way. That is what I learned from my mom. It has been a life lesson for me to overcome my mom's unmommylike nature. I figure its made me more loving because I can appreciate the importance of what I was not given. Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: kendall Date: 17 Oct 01 - 06:08 AM .."Meathead, are you saying that all blood is the same? Black or white? Then how come there are no Swedes in the Mafia."? (Archie Bunker) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Ironmule Date: 17 Oct 01 - 12:16 AM Despite moving to Florida in 57 and going through the "colored" fountain thing, my Mom's teaching had been absorbed already to the point that race was something I just didn't notice. When I eventually got to Air Force basic training in an integrated mix of southerners, I saw that it was VERY important to a few, but I couldn't see any good reason why. I'm 56 now and still can't see why it should be any more important than being Irish or Scots or German or Swedish or Ojibwa or French....all of which I am. I suppose it helped that my Mom is the same as WesleyS's. Have I got a good little brother or what? JWSmith |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Kim C Date: 16 Oct 01 - 04:04 PM My mother was (and is) distant. I got all the good stuff from my dad. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:43 PM I don't remember my mum teaching me much except ironing and cooking and stuff for the home. It was my dad taught me what was right and what wasn't, and my best friend Jenny taught me what was good and what wasn't. My sister only taught me to be mean, and my mothers' father taught me about animals. My favourite cousin taught me about loving unconditionally and my favourite aunt taught me about loving people. My brother taught me how to love people that weren't there any longer, my teacher Mr Bunce taught me to love the written word. My first love Paul B taught me about passion, lessons that continue even now, but with a different teacher. Paul C taught me to love God and Paul D how to love my child. LTS
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Justa Picker Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:40 PM Be sure to always have on clean underwear, in case they have to take you by ambulance to the hospital and remove your clothes. Oh and in rare and exceptional circumstances, it's allright to remove the plastic covering on the sofas and chairs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: kendall Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:35 PM My Mother taught me to take responsibility for my own actions, and, to wash before handling food. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: katlaughing Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:31 PM Beautiful stories, everyone. My mom praised me a lot. She taught me I could be anything I wanted to be. I am still amazed that, as a girl, I never felt limited to certain vocations, i.e. teaching, nursing, as I think my older sisters may have been. There's lots more about singing, reading poetry and other works out loud, doing my best, but I think I've posted it all in various other threads. I'll have to do some digging.:-) Thanks, Wesley. I thought of your son this morning. I had two red votive candles which burnt constantly last December, for your boys. I still have one of them and used it this morning in my meditation time. luvyakat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us From: Deda Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:21 PM My mother taught me to darn socks; I haven't practiced it much, though (;o). She also taught me, as my good brother Amos said at her memorial service in '87, that singing was always appropriate -- in the car, at picnics, in the living room, and while sitting on the roof. (I have tried to pass that on; my son sings at the drop of a pin, and my daughter, who's almost 26, isn't embarrassed by me anymore.) She taught me by example that social activism was important--she went on the march on Washington and heard MLK speak, and we all sang "We shall overcome" a fair amount after that. She taught me to have tea parties in the afternoon, with sugar and lemon or cream, and cinnamon toast. She taught me to read poetry, and she taught me the differences between trochees, iambs, and dactylls. You have my condolences, Wesley. I have been relatively lucky in my life, and the death and loss of my mother was, is, the hardest thing I've been through. I still miss her. The world still seems a thinner, poorer place without her. When a dear friend of hers (and of mine) moved away I asked her if she wasn't going to miss him a lot, and she said, "You can't think about it that way; you just have to thank God that there's been someone like that in your life." |