BS: Dubya and the turkey

Subject: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 08:19 AM

If anyone wonders why the Prez pardoned the turkey, they only have to look at the cover photo of today's UK Guardian (sadly not in the online version) where the turkey is , ahem, inspecting his groin area with its beak, and this is in public not the oval office. I understand the turkey isn't going to wash its feathers but ask its mama to store them in the fridge.
A White House spokesperson said "It was a female turkey, nothing deviant about Mr Bush".
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Fiolar
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 09:11 AM

Do you think this would be a good time to play "Turkey Knob" or maybe "Turkey in the Straw"? :-0

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From:
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 09:14 AM

Guess we now know why turkeys are known as gobblers:-)

Scott

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: LR Mole
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:10 AM

Rumor is the turkey said,"Kabul,Kabul..."

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:28 AM

Roger underestimates the Guardian when he says of this "(sadly not in the online version)"

Click on here for the picture and details of the caption competition the Guardian is having -

This photograph by Kevin Lamarque (Reuters) appeared on the front of the Guardian on November 20 2001 with the following caption: 'A turkey named Liberty takes President Bush by surprise during the annual turkey pardoning event three days before Thanksgiving'.

If you can come up with an even wittier caption, email it to [e-mail] by Friday November 30 2001. The best entries will appear on the site and a handful of lucky winners will receive a copy of The Guardian Year 2001, an anthology of the paper's best writing, plus The Bedside Years, the best writing from the Guardian 1951-2000, edited by Matthew Engel.

Tip: No marks will be given for the following puns, both of which have already appeared in the Guardian: 'A bird in the Bush' and 'President finds turkey's antics below the belt'

Good luck!

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:31 AM

More likely I overestimated my ability to search their online site!
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:35 AM

I'm sure it wasn't there first thing when I looked, however,redeeming myself by supplying the link that Kevinmeant to: (possibly)
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:48 AM

Ain't it nice to wake up to something that funny? being the inveterate practical joker I am, I yelled in mock alarm to Heather, who was groggily getting out of bed "Bush has been assaulted!" I raced into the bedroom with the photo and she practically rolled on the floor! Seems very "Clinton-esque".....although he would have maintained that the turkey was 'merely a good friend'.

Rick

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 11:14 AM

Other possible captions:

"At least it's not an intern!"

"Somebody gimmee a seegar."

"Go get Laura....I want her to see this."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 11:36 AM

...anyone using the word "pecker" will be disqualified...
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: jeffp
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 12:04 PM

"Oops, sorry! Wrong President."

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 12:43 PM

Heeheehee!

Gobble gobble.

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Marymac90
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 01:35 PM

I don't know what Dubya was doing WITH the turkey. I've always thought that Dubya WAS a turkey!

Marymac

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: sophocleese
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 01:36 PM

"Good Gravy! Where's the stuffing?"

"Now that I have your attention Mr. President, we can discuss the matter of stuffing a sausage up my ass."

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 01:52 PM

Great ones Soph!!!

FROM THE TURKEY:
"Is this guy named Bush or Bobbitt?"
"Where's the beef?"
"The little worm was okay, but the two seeds were mushy."

FROM DUMBYA:
"Why'd we rig that Florida election?"
"I pardoned it, now can I keep it?"

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:05 PM

"What a dumb cluck"
"Yeah but the turkey's smart, went straight for his brains"
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: SeanM
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:18 PM

Simply to be complete, a similar thread was started a while back by DougR...

Help: Who Says?

M

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 02:25 PM

"I hereby declare you FREE, ....Monica"

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 03:40 PM

Turkey: "Hmmmmm... Not nearly as big as Clinton's!"

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,MvGrath of Harlow
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 04:05 PM

Send those in to the Guardian caption competition!

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 04:14 PM

If you loved me, you'd swallow that.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 07:37 PM

Lots of winners here Gang....

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: DougR
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 08:06 PM

There's some funny ones here alright. Thanks for pointing this out to me, Spaw. I had missed it.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 09:18 PM

Liberty taking liberties, eh? Well I say...

Never trust a turkey

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,BigDaddy
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 10:55 PM

Maybe I don't watch enough TV or read enough of the daily news, but could anyone here enlighten me as to why the "dubya" moniker? Is it a real word? A nickname? I don't get it. Help, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 11:16 PM

Differentiates him from Daddy....George Herbert Walker Bush. The current President is George W.Bush....hence, Dubya or Dumbya

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,BigDaddy
Date: 20 Nov 01 - 11:49 PM

Okay. I've been reading it as doob-ya. Thought it sounded Russian, or something. So it's duh'b yuh. At last I know. Thanks, Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,BigDaddy
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 12:02 AM

Okay. I knew the term "dubya" reminded me of something. Found it under Polish slang. I seemed to remember a saying, "you bet your sweet dupa." Turns out dupa means "ass," or "asshole" in Polish. This apparently refers to the actual hole, not the person. Also there is "dupcia," which means "little ass." This is the same as "cipcia," which translates to "little pussy." This is also sometimes called "dupka." My apologies for this lapse into Polish semantics. I just felt these were certain refinements that would be appreciated by Spaw. The foregoing translations do not necessarily reflect the writer's feelings about our current elected...well whatever.

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Tweed
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 05:41 AM

Dateline Rose Garden..PARDONED TURKEY GIVES THANKS TO COMPASSIONATE U.S. PRESIDENT AT PRESS CONFERENCE AS BUSH PLEDGES TO HUNT DOWN ALL EVILDOERS HAVING SEX WITH REAL WOMEN. And in other news........

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 06:49 AM

Big Daddy, you have added extra meaning to the term! I shall be forever in your debt...LOL!!!

The captions are indeed getting sicker too......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: DougR
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 12:52 PM

Uh, thanks for the Polish language lesson, Big Daddy. I'm sure that will come in handy if any of us ever find ourselves in Poland.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 01:49 PM

funny, the Washington Post published a pic of the turkey in a much less porvocative pose...but REFERRED to it's proclivity to stick it's head in the crotches of the suiys nearby...guess their photographer was not quick enough...

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: DougR
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 03:33 PM

The Washington Post might have noted the similarity between that picture and Wild Bill's proclivity for allowing himself to be serviced in in similar fashion in the Oval Office, Bill D. Maybe they didn't want to "bring up" that comparison. :>)

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 03:38 PM

Well ferchrissakes Doug, at least "Wild Bill" had the class to stay within the same species!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: LoopySanchez
Date: 21 Nov 01 - 03:42 PM

Perhaps Turkeys have better communication skills than we've given them credit for. I figure that word got around over the past 8 years about what they had to do to get a pardon. And of course the latest turkey just assumes this year's like all the rest...

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Nov 01 - 01:27 AM

Not so much a 'Wild Turkey' as a 'Jim Beam'.....

(You may need to know that a 'Jim Beam' has been used in the UK as a euphemism for a 'stiffy' as in wooden beam - to "get a wood on").

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Nov 01 - 02:04 PM

Does the old proverb about a bird in the bush being worth two in the hand apply in this case?

Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Noreen
Date: 22 Nov 01 - 04:59 PM

Due to the enormous response from the Mudcat, the closing date for the Grauniad's caption competition has been brought forward to Friday 23rd (tomorrow)... so, be like the turkey, get entering!

Quote: And, now that the competition has been running for a while, please, please, please, no more entries on the theme of "Gobble, gobble", "Monica Lewinsky's pet" or Whitehouse interns ...