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BS: Song Challenge for the festive season
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Subject: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Dec 01 - 03:55 AM I can't do the clicky thing to the 'Christmas in a padded cell' thread but here's the challenge.... [When greeted by Christmas muzak in stores I'm usually heard to say:] 'It's bloody October, bloody Advent hasn't started yet!' It's rapidly turning into the 12 months of Christmas - now there's a song challenge. For the first month of Christmas my store, it offered me: (In that the first month would be the time when most stores start displaying Christmas goods - which would make it about July)........ Off you go then, fill it in....! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Dec 01 - 03:22 PM Or not, see if I care.... I can be miserable too you know.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: GUEST,BigDaddy Date: 02 Dec 01 - 03:29 PM Patience, we're thinking. While waiting for our reply, stay out of stores and practice your blue clickies. ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: MMario Date: 02 Dec 01 - 08:32 PM thinking...thinking...thinking....(smell the hair burning on my scaalp?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: mousethief Date: 03 Dec 01 - 07:07 PM The Twelve Months of Christmas Tune: if you have to ask...
On the first month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the second month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the third month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the fourth month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the fifth month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the sixth month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the seventh month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the eighth month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the ninth month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the tenth month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the eleventh month of Christmas, the department store displayed
On the twelfth month of Christmas, the department store displayed Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Dec 01 - 07:30 PM Mousethief - that's perfect!!!! Well done - you win the prize of a recording of Christmas Carols played on the banjo and squeezebox!! (to be collected....) Anyone else? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Gareth Date: 06 Dec 01 - 04:02 PM Ebeneezer Scrooge says "refresh" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: MMario Date: 06 Dec 01 - 04:10 PM still thinking...
it's hard work y'know? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: SINSULL Date: 06 Dec 01 - 04:18 PM Only a comment - now that soda companies stamp a "use by" date on canned soda, does it bother anyone else when last year's Santa cans of Coke show up on the shelves mid-July? On the first of October Macy's had for me A limited addition Santy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: GUEST Date: 06 Dec 01 - 04:20 PM Deleted - personal attack -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Dec 01 - 04:26 PM That's where the bugbear is.... finding Santa on things that are for sale in July. This year it was artificial holly wreaths next to the 'back to school' stuff, when the poor kids hadn't even broken up for the holidays! (note, I'm ignoring the comment on my personal appearance by rude and uninteresting) LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Jack the Sailor Date: 06 Dec 01 - 04:27 PM Christmas is a coming There's no denying that The malls are decorated But I smell a rat
The trees are smelling piney
God help you gentleman |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Dave the Gnome Date: 06 Dec 01 - 06:47 PM We're all going on a Christmas holiday It's been pushed down our throats since last July But when our plane lands in Alicante We see a sight that makes us cry Straight back we will fly.
We see the tinsel and all the glitter
Next year we're going to be more selective Bah. Humbug. Dave the Gnome |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: GUEST, Anon. Member, sick of all this sh*t Date: 06 Dec 01 - 07:18 PM It was Christmas Day in the Madhouse The Trolls they were all there Refusing their medication But greedy for Christmas fare There was one sad, simple f*ck*r No Christmas cheer had he, just Accidental 'Electro-Convulsive Therapy' with the lights from the Xmas tree! - Making no apology for 'thread-creep' in a worthy cause... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Kaleea Date: 07 Dec 01 - 02:04 AM Jingle bells, Jingle bells Oh, what fun I've had While you guys are writing words that sound so very bad . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Liz the Squeak Date: 07 Dec 01 - 03:46 AM Anon Guest... just what sh*t are we talking about here.... Christmas or otherwise??! *BG* LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: GUEST,micca at work Date: 07 Dec 01 - 06:49 AM It was Christmas time on the Mudcat The happiest day and night The Trollers they were busy And the flamers full of spite Then up spoke good old Catspaw To remind us, and pass gas "If you MOGs don't like it here you can kiss my smoking ass" The trollers and the flamers they carry on their spite as they do all the year not just on Christmas night and when Santa he comes along distributing good cheer may he give Guest an SOH and boot up his clenched rear But among most mudcatters Theres lots of friends and true And joy and peace on offer Support and help here too Its yours just for civility To all colours or creeds " from each as their ability to each as are their needs" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Morticia Date: 07 Dec 01 - 08:33 AM Good one Micca, what's an SOH? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Morticia Date: 07 Dec 01 - 08:44 AM Don't reply, figured it out......duh!!
On the Twelfth Day of Mudcat my true love gave to me
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: SharonA Date: 07 Dec 01 - 08:49 AM I didn't figure it out... please define "SOH"! (Song to come soon – it's almost done) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Morticia Date: 07 Dec 01 - 09:41 AM sense of humour |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: GUEST, Anon. Member, sick of all this....etc....*G Date: 07 Dec 01 - 09:57 AM Hello Liz.... I'm no more bothered than most everyone else by the general silly crap that Trolls do, but there is at least one of the sad f*cks who is making attacks on specific people in an ongoing way.... hence MY relative anonimity.....*G* Whether there is a point to THIS post, I dont know.... they are probably GLAD to know that I'm 'sick of all this' though I'm sure we ALL are... ...& I dont care if this counts as a 'reaction' or not... sometimes ignoring them is NOT the best thing to do, I.M.O. cos some just 'up the ante' if they dont feel they are getting a reaction. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: SharonA Date: 07 Dec 01 - 10:09 AM Morticia: Oh! Thanks! (I was thinking "Sack Of...") ("...Hubris"? "...Hummus"?) Jack: LOL! Okay, it's my turn.... Here in the States, the Hallmark company (the greeting-card conglomerate) starts selling its line of "collector" Christmas ornaments and other holiday items in its chain of stores in July, so I'm guessing that that would be the "first month." I'm on their mailing list for all sorts of offers, bonus points and other promotions, so let me give you some idea of...... THE TWELVE MONTHS OF A HALLMARK CHRISTMAS JULY: In the first month of Christmas, the card store sent to me A coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of $50 or more at our Christmas-Hanukah-Ramadan-and-Kwanzaa-Ornament Premiere which no one shows up for because they're all at the beach"). AUGUST: In the second month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of $40 or more as we unveil our exclusive 'Star Wars Episode Googol' figurine"). SEPTEMBER: In the third month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of $35 or more as we present our exclusive Latest-Disney-Movie-not-yet-in-theaters ornament series"). OCTOBER: In the fourth month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Four sample cards ("You are thought of at Columbus Day and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of $25 or more at our two-day Open House [which we should call Open Store] when we reveal this year's long-awaited Overdressed Overpriced Exclusive Barbie Doll – don't miss it!"). NOVEMBER: In the fifth month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a $5 discount, good for one purchase – points expire November 2nd") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at Discovery of Puerto Rico Day and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("when you purchase an exclusive bear that kisses the free bear, plus you also have to buy more cards than you'll ever send"). DECEMBER: In the sixth month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Six Christmas stickers ("sickeningly sweet woodland creatures with long eyelashes and Santa hats – our gift to you, our valued customer – happy holidays") Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a $5 discount, good for one purchase but not before Christmas because we don't need to draw you in then; we're already making money hand over fist") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at The Immaculate Conception of Mary Day and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of our exclusive snow globe depicting the Coca-Cola Santa drowning in it"). JANUARY: In the seventh month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Seven sale reminders ("all Christmas merchandise 40% off") Six Christmas stickers ("sickeningly sweet woodland creatures with long eyelashes and Santa hats – great for winter, too!") Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a bonus $7 discount, good for one purchase so stock up on Christmas items for next year before we try to sell you new ones!") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at The Chinese New Year and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of $15 or more: our exclusive design with last year's date sewn onto its foot, while supplies last"). FEBRUARY: In the eighth month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Eight chatty e-mails ("what an exciting time it is here at the company...") Seven sale reminders ("all Christmas merchandise 50% off") Six Christmas stickers ("sickeningly sweet woodland creatures with long eyelashes and Santa hats – red for Valentine's Day!") Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a $5 discount, good for one purchase so get those old Christmas items before we give up and send them back to Missouri!") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at Groundhog Day and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of $10 or more: our last-year's exclusive edition, a collector's item, going fast"). MARCH: In the ninth month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Nine applications ("join our Ornament Collector's Club and receive these special ornaments from last year, available to members only") Eight chatty e-mails ("we're so thrilled here at the company...") Seven sale reminders ("all Valentine's Day merchandise 50% off") Six Christmas stickers ("sickeningly sweet woodland creatures with long eyelashes and Santa hats – still chilly in that March wind!") Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a $5 discount, good for one purchase but why should you care? You didn't buy a single Lion King ornament, did you, and now WE have to return them to make room for the Easter *crap*") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at Canberra Day and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of three cards: our adorable never-to-be-offered-again exclusive bruin is almost gone! Hurry in now!"). APRIL: In the tenth month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Ten-figurine sets ("this 10-piece miniature reindeer-and-sleigh set will make you smile in anticipation of the holidays") Nine applications ("join our Ornament Collector's Club and receive a special discount for admission to our Ornament Convention where all the things you wouldn't buy on sale are now outrageously priced so you can call yourself a serious collector") Eight chatty e-mails ("we're so passionate here at the company...") Seven sale reminders ("all Valentine's Day merchandise 60% off") Six Christmas stickers ("sickeningly sweet woodland creatures with long eyelashes and Santa hats – ready to greet the Easter Bunny to the North Pole!") Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a $5 discount, good for one purchase which you can make at our Ornament Convention as if $5 would buy you anything there") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at April Fool's Day and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("with the purchase of any card: limited time offer!"). MAY: In the eleventh month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Eleven lines of credit Ten-figurine sets ("this 10-piece miniature Santa's Workshop set will make you salivate in anticipation of the holidays") Nine applications ("join our Ornament Collector's Club and receive a special discount for admission to yet another Ornament Convention") Eight chatty e-mails ("we're in ecstasy here at the company...") Seven sale reminders ("all Easter merchandise 40% off") Six Christmas stickers ("sickeningly sweet woodland creatures with long eyelashes and Santa hats – with white snow and blue ice, they're the perfect little patriots!") Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a $5 discount, good for one purchase which you can make at our Ornament Convention where the original artist will sign your ornament and make it even more expensive") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at Primary Election Day and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("just for visiting our store – what a wonderful way to remember Christmas past!"). JUNE: In the twelfth month of Christmas, the card store sent to me Twelve invitations ("you are cordially invited to skip your vacation to attend OUR ORNAMENT PREMIERE NEXT MONTH and drag eleven of your family and friends along for this loving tribute to commercialism – make it part of your holiday tradition!") Eleven lines of credit Ten-figurine sets ("this 10-piece miniature Hallmark Store set, complete with salespeople, cash registers and ORNAMENT PREMIERE display, will make you camp on our doorstep in anticipation of the holidays") Nine applications ("join our Ornament Collector's Club and receive these ornaments from last year, available to members only, before we offer new ones at OUR ORNAMENT PREMIERE COMING NEXT MONTH") Eight chatty e-mails ("we're practically having an orgasm here at the company...") Seven sale reminders ("all miscellaneous holiday merchandise 75% off") Six Christmas stickers ("sickeningly sweet woodland creatures with long eyelashes and Santa hats – REMINDING YOU THAT OUR ORNAMENT PREMIERE IS JUST A MONTH AWAY!") Five "Gold Crown" points ("accumulate several hundred points for a $5 discount, good for one purchase at OUR ORNAMENT PREMIERE COMING NEXT MONTH – points expire the day after the premiere") Four sample cards ("You are thought of at the first-quarter moon and always") Three brochures Two special offers And a coupon to get a bear free ("just for walking within 50 yards of our sidewalk sale! Let one of our six million leftover cuddly cubs remind you that OUR ORNAMENT PREMIERE IS NEXT MONTH!!!"). (...and yes, I'll be there the day after Christmas, standing in line at the checkout with my arms full of sale-price ornaments I don't need, because I have to have the next one in each series, just like all the other fools...) Sharon |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Jack the Sailor Date: 07 Dec 01 - 04:56 PM Brilliant SharonA, And so much content!! Worth the wait!!
Months before Christmas, They're putting up trees, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: SharonA Date: 07 Dec 01 - 06:18 PM Jack: LOL again! "So much content" (in other words "Omigod, how does she expect anybody to read all that?!?!") Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Sorry about that, but I just had to vent about Hallmark's cutesy commercialization of Christmas! They started, years ago, by making one or two special ball-shaped ornaments (believe it or not) but now it's just ridiculous. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Morticia Date: 07 Dec 01 - 07:34 PM I read every word Sharon, and laughed like a drain...well done! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: SharonA Date: 07 Dec 01 - 07:47 PM Thanks! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Song Challenge for the festive season From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Dec 01 - 08:03 PM See you that drain and raise you one snort over the keyboard!!! Hysterical!! Thanks everyone, I now know the TRUE meaning of Christmas (and Hallmark haven't sussed it yet!) LTS |