Lyr Req: Dear Auntie Vera (Jeremy Taylor)

Subject: Dear Aunty Vera
From: Crabtree
Date: 10 Dec 01 - 04:56 PM

Any offers on the above. Sung by Jeremy Taylor. used to get a lot of plays on BFBS Cyprus back in the early 70s. Giok - Im relying on you. Any one with a vinyl Ag Pleez Daddy must know it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: Joe Offer
Date: 10 Dec 01 - 05:06 PM

Gee, does this have anything to do with Ask Auntie Vera?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 10 Dec 01 - 06:49 PM

Very funny Joe! I have the vinyl of Jeramy Taylor and Sidney Carter

Dear aunty vera, you're someone I can trust, won't you tell me how to add 2 inches to my bust etc. Give me a couple of days-exclude wednesday and I'll send them. You might need to pm me to remind me!

Cheers

Eric

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 10 Dec 01 - 06:50 PM

If your UK based-I can tape them (the album) and send the tape-probably easier.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: breezy
Date: 11 Dec 01 - 02:43 PM

cont......please can you tell me if there's anyway that I
Can try and take two extra inches off my thigh. V? Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren and the girls in Dr. No.
Have got that extra some thing, something more than me, To be precise 36 inches where inches ought to be. V? I've answered all the adverts in the women's magazines . I've been to the Dr, to enquire about me genes
I've tried taking hormones, pills of this and that , but I've found it's impossible you can't get tit for tat V? So help me Auntie Vera help me if you can ,surely there must be a way to catch a man
Help me auntie Vera I'm sure there is a must, to try add 2 extra inches....2 extra inches ...2extra inches....///this was done from mammary so its not gospel, but if Eric d'V can help, then great.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 01 - 02:54 PM

"done from mammary"?
Was that a Freudian slip, or what?


Sounds like the actual song isn't far from the idea behind the site I linked to. Please post the rest of the lyrics.
It's interesting that the man who wrote "Lord of the Dance" could also write stuff like this. Somebody sent me a Sydney Carter tape, and I expect to hear inspiring, semi-religious stuff. It was all bawdy songs - good, though.
Breezy, I had to edit your post to correct the line breaks. You had them in double angle brackets, and that made it turn our weird. A line break looks like this:

<br>

Yours looked like this:
<<br>>

-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: breezy
Date: 11 Dec 01 - 05:09 PM

Thanks Joe O.
I'm picking it up as I go.
The song was written by Jeremy Taylor, with whom I did a small promotion, at the Young Vic long ago 19 er 75ish.It was a sell-out. He's still around after returning again from out of Africa, bloody talented guy.
And it was not a Freudian lick.
Have I got it now?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:21 PM

will post -promise-give me TIME !!!!!!! (At this very moment, logging off to take a child -not ours to Cubs, 2 kids- ours to scouts gang show, and then my Mrs V to the gang show where she is a cast executive !!(does wardrobe) then back home, tune the guitar and off to the jug to return home at about 01.00, it's 18.20 UK time.

Bye for now

E

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: breezy
Date: 14 Dec 01 - 03:03 PM

Found em , I'll be back with them shortly

Subject: Lyr Add: DEAR AUNTIE VERA (Jeremy Taylor)^^
From: breezy
Date: 14 Dec 01 - 03:45 PM

DEAR AUNTIE VERA
(Jeremy Taylor)

Dear Auntie Vera: you're somebody I trust.
Won't you tell me how to add two inches to my bust?
Please, won't you tell me if there's any way that I
Can try and take two extra inches off my thigh?

[V 2 Transposes] I can't seem to get the necessary form that men admire,
The kind that turns their heads and inflames them with desire,
But I'm sure that men would gaze at me and say that she's a must
If only I could add two extra inches to my bust.

[V 3 transposes back] And then there's the question of the colour of my hair.
I just can't seem to get it right. It drives me to despair.
And when I've backcombed it, spray-set it and curled up all the ends,
I find that overnight they've gone and changed the flipping trends.

[V 4 trans] Oi! Help me, Auntie Vera. Help me if you can.
Surely, there is some way that I can catch a man.
I'm sure that men would gaze at me and say that she's a must,
If only I could add two extra inches to my bust.

[V 5 tr.] They say that I'm the kind of flower that decorates the wall.
People in the garden hardly notice me at all.
But if one of those passers-by should accidentally fall,
I'd gather him in me creeping vine and crush him to the wall.

[V 6 Tr.] Ursula Andress, Brigitte Bardot,
Sophia Loren and the girls in "Dr. No"
Have got a little something, something more than me--
To be precise, 38 inches where inches ought to be.

[V 7 T] Now I've been to the doctor to enquire about me genes.
I've answered all the adverts in the women's magazines.
I've tried taking hormones, pills of this and that,
But I've found it's impossible. You can't get tit for tat.

[V 8 T] So, help me, Auntie Vera. Help me if you can.
Surely, there must be some way that I can catch a man.
I'm sure that men would gaze at me and say that she's a must,
If only I could add two extra inches, two extra inches, two extra inches, oooooooooooh!

HTML line breaks added, punctuation added, spelling corrected, etc. --JoeClone, 15-Nov-02.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: breezy
Date: 14 Dec 01 - 03:51 PM

I'm still learning about
line breaks and
wher to
put them
them

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Aunty Vera
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 14 Dec 01 - 04:39 PM

Thanks breezy-saved me a job

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Dear Auntie Vera (Jeremy Taylor)
From: GUEST,Steve Hall
Date: 16 Dec 21 - 05:30 PM

I'm fairly sure it ended in a very husky voice with the words "Oh my god, those pills!"