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BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001
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Subject: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: JenEllen Date: 11 Dec 01 - 12:50 AM The battered old truck slowed to a stop in front of the snow-dusted building, the site of so much festivity, and a woman got out. She quickly untied the ropes securing the tree in the truck bed, and began pulling the giant fir up the walk. She paused for a moment at the doorway, fishing under the welcome mat for the spare key, then unlocked the door and pulled the tree inside. After a brief episode of grunting and cursing, the tree finally rested in its stand. Granted, it leaned a little to the left (or if you stood on the other side, it leaned a little to the right) but it stood proudly. The woman grinned to herself as she fluffed the branches. "With a politics like that, you'll fit right in here, my friend!" she thought. On her next trip outside, she stopped by the Mudcat Mailbox, and carried the handful of letters in, along with the box she'd retrieved from the truck. A cursory glance to the mail showed numerous subscription renewals for the Mudcat Calendar, and a letter from Bert's credit card company. "Well," she thought to herself, "it doesn't say FINAL NOTICE, and it's not ticking, so it looks like we're still in business!" She placed the letters at the end of the bar and turned her attentions to the battered cardboard box she carried. One by one, she took out the items, each on it's own bit of ribbon, and placed them on the tree. There was an avocado, a miniature pair of iron underwear, a green tea bag, a little jar of Vaseline, various bits of possum chow, and some tiny little glittered squirrel cages. The woman stood back for a second to admire her work, then fished around in the bottom of the box for the finishing touches: a small garland of tulips and sunflowers, and a shiny new potato peeler. "That will do for now." she thought, as she went behind the bar and poured herself a pint. As she made her way to her favourite back booth, she flipped the breakers and listened as the jukebox came to life with Condolezza Schwartz's Holiday Hits. The lights above the jello pit and the bowling alley glimmered and reflected off of the tavern windows as the woman sat down. Welcome all friends old and new. Happy holidays from the Mudcat Tavern. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Sorcha Date: 11 Dec 01 - 12:53 AM Well, Bah Humbug to you to, sweetie! You have just given me another reason not to go to bed.....here is a Hot Toddy to all of youse!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Lin in Kansas Date: 11 Dec 01 - 01:03 AM The Red-Headed Stranger notices lights twinkling in the window of the weatherbeaten old building, and from curiosity slides her raspberry-colored S10 pickup into a parking spot next to the rustic porch. She grabs her cue case and heads for the door. Just inside, she pauses to look around. What the hell? Is that JELLO? LIME Jello??? And where's the pool table? What kinda tavern IS this, anyway? Nice bar, though. Wonder if they can mix a decent Tom & Jerry? "Hey, Ms. Bartender..." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 11 Dec 01 - 04:51 AM The darkling clouds racing across the moon cast long silvered shadows on the edges of the well plowed blacktop winding over the horizon. The fields, smoother in snow than they had been through the long dry summer, sparkled in moonshadow and listened to the footprints of deer. Over the rolling sleeping valley, a faint bass vibratioon was heard, a deepthroated soft-edged rumble of power and speed under gentle but firm control. The night air flashed to a tight probe of solid light as the noise grew and a single powerful headlight crossed the sky and illuminated the stark trees. Out of the shadows in the valley floor, the muscular form of a 1939 Indian motorcycle took shape, stirring the snowdust as it sliced the cold air banking the turns on the long road up to the Mudcat Tavern, heeling to aperfect graceful stop in the gravel lot outside the warm bright windows. A tall stranger climbed down from the tall frame of the Indian and reached into the saddle bag, freeing the lithe inquisitive form of a long-tailed capuchin monkey who proceeded to clamber onto the shoulder of hs woollined flight jacket. He bent down and unstrapped a Dreadnought hardshell case from the rear rack, and strode for the worn polished entrance, entering the warm tavern in a burst of snow dust and cold air. "By God, it is good to be here one more time!!! A thimble of Chivas for my friend here, Miss Keeper, if you will, and a quart of vile brown stuff. And a toast to your eternal light, grace, and beauty, to boot!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 11 Dec 01 - 05:16 AM The Jello man parked his truck for the last time: "Got an order here to clear out the old lime jello and deliver the Xmas Cranberry jello, without added Dolores O'Riordan. Don't you guys ever clean house, Jeez, look at the state at this jello pit, rotten spuds,ugh, an old thong, possum crap, what do you do in there? Well that's all the crud vaccuumed out and the new supply hosed in. Thanks for the offer of a retirement drink, a metaxas would go down nicely, thanks. Here's a "Jellos R Us" seasonal greetings card from the Management." Whistling tunelessly ("Goin' down the road feelin' bad") he got in the truck and drove off into the sunset... RtS (Goin' where the spreadsheets never go...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: CharlieA Date: 11 Dec 01 - 06:58 AM From out of the cold crisp night, a young woman enters the bar. She is tall with waist length, dark blond hair and is wrapped heavily in a large suede coat, scarf and a hat. Her glasses steam up briefly as she enters. She walks to the bar rather hesitantly and asks "do you have any wassail? If not a mulled wine would do nicely?" Disrobed from her outdoor wrappings, she cleans her glasses on a tissue pulled from a pocket. Her skirt and jumper are of dark green. She carries a fife stuck in her belt. Seating herself on a stool to one side of the bar she looks around shyly and sips her drink. Cxxx |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: The_one_and_only_Dai Date: 11 Dec 01 - 08:12 AM From the night outside, a sudden silence descends upon the happy and growing group ion the tavern. They are suddenly, and uncomfortably, mindful of the dark, and the chill, and the fragility of the fire that keeps them from the eternal cold. Outside, the mist swirls... a dark shape is seen, or rather not seen, merely suggested by the absence of fog. The shadows move closer to the bright tavern and resolve into a ragged band of several determined-looking folkies. There are five of them. Suddenly, the silence is shattered by their leader at the door of the welcoming pub. 'Wel dyma ni'n diwad Gyfeillion diniwad I ofyn cawn gennad I ganu!' The rhythmic cry is punctuated by the rest of the band beating drums, yelling, hitting each other with bladders on sticks and blowing horns. Yes, horns. Silence fell again, as the sinister group, led by a tall, pale and ragged man with a slightly disturbing yet alluring glint in his eye, and a shirt proclaiming "I Love Stony Stratford, It's Great", waited for the required response from within...
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 11 Dec 01 - 09:32 AM The fire-topped barmaid stepped up to the door, her towel in hand, and advised the horns and bladders crowd without that they were welcome to come in and get warm, and even have a few free on Bert's card, but they had to behave and leave their bladders and sticks at the door. There was a certain something in her eye which quelled their barbarian spirits and they trooped in quietly and were soon comparing notes on variants of Good King Wenceslas with the lass in glasses, who began demonstrating modal scales on her wee fife while the capuchin, well energized by his drap o' Chivas, danced on their table top to the grand amusementof the house. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MMario Date: 11 Dec 01 - 10:00 AM The Tavern seemed to be drawing a crowd, so the wannabe chef struggled through the snowdrifts to the back door, not wanting to prematurely interupt the gathering. Have to remember to shovel the side path out he thought to himself, shifting the large boxes of groceries awkwardly from one arm to another as he pulled on the door into the kitchen.And get someone to shave down the edges of this blasted DOOR!. Entering the warmth of the kitchen, and depositing the various bags and boxes on the generously sized counter he paused a moment to savour the relaxed sounds of friendship coming from the main room. Tossing his greatcoat and scarf onto the hook next to the back door he surveyed the surroundings with glee. Soft candlelight in sconces shone from most of the walls, but electric spots illuminated the work surfaces. The huge fireplace held a bed of coals below the waiting spit, and the six burner commercial range was waiting in the corner. Spotless, as usual, he murmered. Have to remember to as Leej who he has clean up. Though I wouldn't be surprised to learn that it's wee folk. Humming Christmas carols to himself, he began to assemble the holiday dinner. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: JenEllen Date: 11 Dec 01 - 10:17 AM Red could smell the fabulous aromas drifting into the tavern proper from the kitchen. Didn't smell like roast hippo? "What manner of treat does MMario have for us this year?" she thought. "Last year's hippo lasted until Easter..." She watched from her booth as the shy blonde creature struck up with the barbarians and the monkey danced to their fife and drum. She also saw the handsome dreadnoughted stranger use the revelry as an excuse to quietly tuck a small piece of paper emblazoned with 'Clean Bill of Health' in between the branches of the tree. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Morticia Date: 11 Dec 01 - 10:39 AM A small but beautifully marked stranger twinkles in at the door.She is adorned in green fishnet stockings and has strange and pagan foliage in various unlikely places about her person." Hey up, lads, where's the party? Make mine a mulled wine with a small shot of Pusser's in the bottom.....No, the bottom of glass, Jen!Good grief, that's a horse hypodermic, isn't it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: katlaughing Date: 11 Dec 01 - 11:13 AM "Heya, everyone!! A woman with the classic shape of a wisewoman stepped through the door, shaking the snow from her long red cloak. Her glasses were sliding down her nose when one deft finger quickly shoved them back up as she looked around. Hanging her cloak on a hook by the dorr, she swirled around in a black circle skirt which reached her ankles where peaked out some sturdy and warm boots. Atop she wore a brilliant purple turtleneck with a vest over it, fashioned from some odd material which caught the eye, but one could never quite settle on what colours one was seeing. Tossing back her long greying red braid, she smiled and headed over to the rocking chair by the fire. "A cup of tea, if you would please, Jendarlin'. I've a story to read about the tree and need to keep my throat open." With that, she sat down, pulled a small book out of some unseen pocket in the volumnious skirt and thumbed through it until she found the page she was looking for..."Come sit down beside me and I will tell you about a Christmas tree, just like this one, ever so long ago...."
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Gareth Date: 11 Dec 01 - 03:17 PM The snow lay thickly on the rounded hills overlooking the little tavern. Harmonic chorus's of and "Nos Galon" drifted up the Cwm. A snow covered lump moved slightly, "We's safe, butties, their still singing." A bleating of Baaah's acknowledged this statement. Down in the valley a rime of frost settled on the bladders and horns neatley stacked outside the tavern, waiting for the Lord of Misrule to arrive. Inside the jugs of ale, and gulpers of Pussers circulated. Where was the Lord of Misrule ?? He was late, he was late ! Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MMario Date: 11 Dec 01 - 03:56 PM In hand bear I, bedecked with....D**N! Where is my ROSEMARY!!!! which is thus all bedecked with gay garland, but not before going in the oven-OH!!!! I *knew* snitching the replicator from the MudCat Enterprise was a smart move, even if it did blackout half of Tokyo and all of Frostbite Falls the first time we tried turning it on. Otherwise this meal would have gotten expensive! I'm dreaming of a White Christmas - with all the food we love to eat... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Lin in Kansas Date: 11 Dec 01 - 07:36 PM The Red-Headed Stranger perched quietly on a stool at the end of the bar, sipping her excellent Tom 'N Jerry. Geez, there sure were a lot of red-haired women frequenting this place tonight! Lessee, the barmistress, the Wisewoman, cripes, even the monkey had reddish-brown fur (or was the monkey a "he"?)... "Strange" listened with pleasure to the tall blonde play her fife, and grinned at the monkey's cavorting, letting her glance roam over the gathered group. Wow, that was a gorgeous vest the Wisewoman was wearing. She glanced at the small squarish box under her left foot. "Nah, not yet," she thought. "Better after everybody's had a few." Besides, there wasn't a banjo in the house yet, and all concertina players know it's safer to play their instruments when a banjo is present to take the edge off the general abuse. Or if not a banjo, at least a bodhran. She gathered up her drink, her pool cue, and her case, and began to roam, checking things out... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Dave Wynn Date: 11 Dec 01 - 08:52 PM The door opens...and as some person walks out carrying a liquivac full of green jello ; a lithe (but full featured) pedigree dalmation takes the opportunity to wander in. He walks to the fireside , farts , looks in surprise at the girly in green fishnets and after circling a few times , settles down with his strong , canine jaw on his paws and waits for the the party to start. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 11 Dec 01 - 09:36 PM A rusty 61 Thunderbird slides around the corner of Tiple Street, describes a 180 degree arc in the fresh-fallen snow, and comes to rest, rear bumper nudging the cast iron streetlight post. Emerging, a figure in Santa Claus hat and down jacket throws open the rear door of the Tbird, gathers up two large paper grocery sacks, then slams the door with a kick from his ice-rimed Sorrel snowboot. It is twilight, and the interior of the Mudcat Tavern is just lighter than the atmosphere in the street, but certainly warmer, and from a circle of chairs by the fire several folks look up from banjos, mandolins and guitars to smile hello. Lej places his bags on the bar, then hauls out a large crock and places it on the hot plate. Carefully he adds apple juice, orange juice, wine, ale, sugar, cinnamon, cardamom, and brandy. He finishes by tossing a handful of cloves across the surface. "Now..let her heat and we'll all have us some Wassail Punch!" He turns to a small alcove behind the bar, and plucks two stubs of candles from holders, using them to light the new candles he takes from the bag. "As is fitting, one for a child and one for an angel" he says softly, and then more loudly Merry Christmas everyone! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 11 Dec 01 - 11:43 PM And the voices that echo in return surprise everyone with the intensity of their fervor, their enthusiastic passion, and the deep-heart echoes of pure affection; the soundwaves roll up the chimney and start a small, startling snowslide down the front of the building; they rattle the windows and wake up the braincases of everyone within a hundred yards, waken a couple of late sleeping crows in the tree outside and bid fair to shake the very stars, stirring bright harmonics out of every stringed instrument in the place and warm starbursts in every heart:
MERRY CHRISTMAS, LEEJ!!!!
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Lin in Kansas Date: 12 Dec 01 - 12:34 AM "Gads!" Strange thinks. "What a choir! I think even the monkey got in on that hello, and I know darn well I heard the dalmation howling. Wonder who he belongs to? Sure is a fine-lookin' pup." She finds the pool table--W-A-Y-Y-Y-Y in the back, past the Jello pit and the bowling alley, and flips on the switch for the light hanging over it. There's a small table with a couple of chairs just far enough away from the table to be out of the way of the shooters, and she puts her drink, her concertina, and her cue case on it. Slowly and with reverence, she opens the cue case and unlimbers her Schmelke with the Rosewood butt, and carefully screws the butt and the shaft together. She is pleasantly pleased to discover that the coin-operated table is unlocked and pool is free tonight. She racks the balls, slams a break that sinks two solids, and with sure, graceful movements, runs the table. She smiles. Good to know she hasn't lost her touch, even after being off the tables so long. She sets up a new rack, chalks, and breaks... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Dec 01 - 12:37 AM Outside the tavern there seems to a ruckus of some sort going on and as the red-haired one heads for the door, it flies open and in steps a fat jolly man clothed all in red with shiny black boots.......... "Ho-Ho-Ho" shouted the faux Santa, for all could see the beard was a terrible fake. The tavern folk wondered at first who it was until he spoke again while shuffling his boots back and forth...."Fockin' possum shit..." "Yo Spaw," said Mario, and the others joined in. "Yeah, it's me. I have presents for all....well, I did........ya'see, I got a tree here for you all but I see you have one, so I'll leave it out on the porch. Truth is, I didn't want to bring it because it's one of Cletus and Paw's recycled Christmas trees and the damn things are a fire hazard, but I had to agree to bring it over to get all of them to be reindeer." The Wisewoman, for she was quite wise, said, "Say what?" "Yeah, well, look....How could I do the Santa thing without a sleigh and reindeer? So I enlisted Cletus, Paw,Buford, and the Reg Boys. I still needed two more so I got Cleigh O'Possum and the The Little Pissant! I gotta' put those two in front though....they're covering the sleigh in some real nasty stuff." The crowd gathered around the windows and looked out the door at Spaw's "reindeer"......All of whom seemed to be wearing branches on their heads and looked about as much like reindeer as an accordion resembles a grand piano. The sleigh was some beat up looking crates mounted on two Flexible Flyers. All in all it had the look of...........well..............well, uh....It looked like something Spaw would come up with. "Okay Gang!!! I'll put the tree out on the back porch by the pond and head back for my Santa bag of GIFTS FOR ALL!!!! Listen, whatever you do, don't get near that tree with an open flame okay?" After depositing the tree in a corner of the back porch, SantaSpaw crossed the tavern with a round of Ho-Ho-Ho's and an odd clicking coming from inside his chest. "MERRY CHRISTMAS GANG.....HOHOHOHOHO.....I shall return with my bag as soon as I can, but these reindeer are kinda' slow and can't fly fer shit.........Plus, draggin' the sleigh on the roads is a bitch since we ain't had squat for snow..........Anyway......MERRY MERRY and a HO Ho Ho to ALL!!!! See ya' later!!!!" SantaSpaw went out the door on the run and climbed aboard his sleigh and with a call of "On Cletus, On Buford, On Paw and Cleigh. On Pissant, On Reg, On Reg, and On Reg!!! Let's MOVE it....and why the fock don't your names rhyme?" And with a great grunting and groaning and screeching of metal on asphalt, the sleigh, ever so slowly, vanished into the night. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 12 Dec 01 - 12:44 AM Cracking up, Big Guy!!! And all the Merries to you, too! And alla yours. A. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: JenEllen Date: 12 Dec 01 - 03:01 AM 'Twas the Tavern at Christmas, and all through the place The Catters drank full, a grin on each face The Jello pit filled by the Skiffler with care, In hopes that some wrestlers soon would be there. The pool sharks were gathering balls for the rack, While a saggy old Christmas tree hung out in back. While kat in her full skirt, and a fifer in green, Filled the tavern with beauty of a kind seldom seen. When out in the parking lot there arose such a sound Even the monkey gave a scared look around Walking with caution, ol'Red crossed the floor Grabbed tight the handle and threw open the door The pissant and possum, on the new fallen snow Left a big yellow puddle on all things below Just when they thought good St Nick would appear The taverners saw that there were no reindeer Just a pile of tired pallets tied in to a sled And a clacking ol'Spaw, all done up in red The branched-antlered reindeer hung their heads in their shame As SantaSpaw cursed them and called them by name "Hey Pissant, Dammit Cletus, Aw Reg, Fockin' Cleigh, Buford, Paw, and two Regs, get the fock out my way! There's cheer to be spread and I know what to do, Sweet merciful *%!!, what's this crap on my shoe?" Every jaw in the tavern now lay on the floor (Not the safest of places, knowing what's been there before) And when Spaw sprang to his sleigh, and drove his team with a curse Red thought to herself, "It could be a lot worse..." But she muttered aloud, in a voice filled with awe "Another rare beauty there, Thanks, SantaSpaw!"
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amergin Date: 12 Dec 01 - 04:29 AM A man walks in snow dangling in his beard, as he shakes the white flakes from his black hat...he walks to the bar and props his jacket on the stool, "A pint of the black stuff, please, just so I may oil my tonsils." The barmaid draws him a pint and gives it to him, "Put it on Bert's tab, please. Thank you, maam." he says. He takes a deep drink of the vile black liquid and turns around to the crowd. "A song I have for you all, if you will but listen. Ah hell, even if you won't listen. Jenny," he says to the barmaid, "Please pass out the ear plugs, you know the drill." He opens up his mouth and begins to sing:
Hello, Michael, it's me
Hello, Michael, it's me
Hello, Michael, it's me
Hello, Michael, it's me
Goodbye, Michael, merry Christmas. He turns back to the bar and orders another pint.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: harpgirl Date: 12 Dec 01 - 04:48 AM ...beautiful,merg...did you write it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MMario Date: 12 Dec 01 - 08:49 AM With a grin MMario sets up the exhaust fan, first carefully positioning it so that the cooking oders will go into the main Tavern rather then be wasted outside. gonna whet a few appetites! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Dec 01 - 09:15 AM Good Lord 'Gin boy....I tend to believe you wrote that and once again, I'm left without words. Beautiful. HEY JE!!! You're incredible! Not only that....you made the names rhyme!!!! I am humbled at your brilliance.......or is that the light of a flaming kestrel? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: The_one_and_only_Dai Date: 12 Dec 01 - 09:36 AM The spooky band of real-ale drinking bladder-wavers grunt appreciatively at the mighty bard's eulogy. Their leader procures a jug of foaming ale and places it wordlessly next to the singer, with a grip of understanding on the shoulder. He, too begins to sing, in a clear, low and mournful voice: The night-owl homeward turns, as the dawn streaks the sky, We must rise and gather up our flocks, cast tears from our eye We will tread on secret pathways the ancients did roam, For now is the last time we'll call this place home... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 12 Dec 01 - 12:20 PM Lej sinks a dipper into the wassail bowl, ladles it into his cup "Hmmmmm...not bad. Still, it needs something." He scans the shining bottles behind the bar, his eyes, like flaming kestrals, alighting on a bottle of Bushmill's Irish Whisky. Unscrewing the cap, he pours it into the punch, stirs it, and dips a cup for Amos, who tastes, closes his eyes in concentration, and says "do we have any single malt Scotch? Take some of the sweet after-taste out of this stuff." And Amos at last locates a bottle of Glen Livet, adding its liquid fire to the recipe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Homeless Date: 12 Dec 01 - 12:54 PM He pulls his black/purple/blue Sporty shaker special into the parking lot and unlimbers himself from the bike. Bedecked in black leather from his head to his foot with just the bridge of his nose showing under the mirrored sunglasses, he looks like nothing more than a snowman made out of coal, with just a bit of snow for a nose. Tho if there were anyplace where is snowman of that sort would be built, this place is it. Surveying the various vehicles to find out whos beat him to the festivities, he sees a bunch of escapees from the local mental institution wrassling their way out of the fence at the far side of the parking lot. Wait a minute - that's just Spaw and that bunch of sideshow freaks he likes to hang out with. What'd they do - lose a fight with a tree? The santa suit is cute, but I've never seen anyone wear the beard in that position before. Unless it's supposed to be a flatulence muffler? Having endangered too many braincells by pondering that mess, he moves on in through the front door, where the fire has heated the room very well, but also brought out the smell of the animals and stale beer as well as spices, herbs, and liquor. The air is so thick with aromas at to be tangible. Scanning the room, he sees a couple pipers, a lady dancing, or at least dressed to dance, but thankfully no bodhrans yet. And is that the sound of someone playing pool in the back? Who would come into this place and waste time playing pool? Besides, no one had used the pool table since the time the Reg boys were having that contest of who could put the most pool balls in their mouths, and we came up six short at the end of the night. Survey complete, it's time for inventory. Hmmm. No drummers drumming, but we do have a couple pipers anyway. And from the looks of Spaw's troupe, we've got the 10 lords leaping. Ok, maybe 8. Well, 6 anyway. And they're not really lords but they were at least leaping. Or stumbling anyway. Hell, give 'em the benefit of the doubt - they need all the help they can get. And at least this year Spaw wasn't busted for offering anyone a peek at his candy cane. Okay, where were we? Oh yeah, nine ladies dancing. Hmm. I wonder if I can get a contra going in this place? Or maybe a waltz anyway. I don't know about the milk maids, tho I'm glad Spaw's not here to hear that. Gods know what kind of place he'd send me to. Fresh out of swans too. What kind of holiday place is this? How about geese then? A quick peek in the kitchen. Ah, yes. There's that time travelling fellow (I wish he'd make up his mind, first a historian, then a song collector, then a singer, now a cook?) with six geese a laying. Laying out on silver platters anyway, on a nice bed of, is that kale? The golden rings I've been hearing since I walked into the place. Too many talented musicians not to hear some wonderful ringing. Let's see, four, three, two? Aw, who needs all those damn birds, anyway? All they do is make a mess. Besides, a flaming kestrel in the hand is worth a couple hours in the emergency room, or something like that. Well, the party's young. I'll give 'em a bit more time before....
AAugh! What happened to the jello pit? All that lovely green jello is red? Did someone bleed to death from wrestling? Go get myself a mug of hot cider to take the bite out of the chill, and sit back in a corner to listen and observe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: catspaw49 Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:02 PM (Ya' know JE, no matter what brilliance inwriting, no matter what good works you do, no matter how loving, kind, and compassionate you are.......you're never going to live down setting that kestrel alight.......) Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MMario Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:08 PM the partridge goes inside the dove,okay - so it's a quail, who's gonna know. The two of them into the chicken, the chicken into the goose, the goose into the swan. repeat seven times. the swans go into the roc. lessee - one into the neck, 6 into the body..damn, still some room left over. Okay - a bushel of oyster stuffing into the neck...and the sage and onion dressing in around the other six. lessee- at 20 minutes a pound...yup - should be ready. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:19 PM A weary figure bundled in many snow-dusted layers leans heavily on the door and pushes it open. Once inside the layers begin to peel off- a flowered wooly scarf, a heavy woolen shawl, another woollen muffler, a soggy black wool coat, a thick hand-knitted sweater- hey, there's a woman in there! Off come the mittens, the boots, the wooly socks, revealing a dark-haired woman of a certain age, wearing black velour and a red silk scarf. Out of a copious pocket from the coat she draws what at first appears to be a bunch of greenery. As she carefully arranges it onto her head, the discerning eye can see that it is a crown of mistletoe! She sidles up to the bar, giving Jen a wink. "Give me your best single-malt, honey! Straight up- don't let it get lost in that old wassail! This is my first Christmas as a single woman!" The coat is still over one arm. She reaches into the other pocket and brings out a box labeled "Weapons-grade fudge. Handle with extreme caution!"The woman continues,"There's three things in life that top my list. I've brought the fudge. If I can get in some good harmony singing tonight, that'll be two out of three- not bad!" She moseys over in the general direction of the music. "Homeless, if you can waltz, that'll come close to three out of three!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: GUEST,MAG at work Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:34 PM Hope y'all are still here after I get off work ... another Wise Woman to join in the fray, er, party ... would it be sacrilege to throw this bottle of Hennessey's into that punch ... or just sip? Meansomewhile, here's a round, from Mary Ann's favorite rounds list, adapted from Rumi:
Come, come, whoever you are, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Kim C Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:40 PM (oooh! oooh! Can I be the belly dancer can I huh huh huh? I have lots of jingle bells I can wear.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: JenEllen Date: 12 Dec 01 - 01:43 PM (LMAO. WHY do I even try? What's it been, two years? And I can still smell burnt feathers... Ya know, I do love you lunkheads. This came in one burst, origionally as Rudolph the Flaming Kestrel: Paw, Cletus, Reg, and Buford Used to laugh and call him names And toss him in front of Pissant When he ended up in flames... But it was just too painful. Spit tea everywhere. I canna do it...)
In the back booth of the tavern, Red finally sighed and set the tiny gift upon the table. The newly tailored asbestos longjohns sparkled in a holiday fury that was vaguely reminiscent of Elvis' last Christmas in Vegas.
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Homeless Date: 12 Dec 01 - 02:18 PM Hot dog! One lady dancing by herself clad only in jingle bells, and another dance - with me at that. I must be the luckiest guy here. Well, it looks like this is starting to shape up into a holiday party. Maybe I'll stick around a while after all.
Sure Animaterra - I can waltz like no one else. Which isn't necessarily a good thing. Or maybe it is? Does anyone know any good waltz tunes? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 12 Dec 01 - 02:20 PM For those puzzled by allusions to the mythical "Flaming Kestral", see this |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: katlaughing Date: 12 Dec 01 - 02:47 PM "O! Ye gawds and gawddesses! Spaw's done it, again! HeyaRed! Got anymore litter out back?" the woman with the mature gawdess figure stood up from her storytelling place by the fire and started for the back porch. The stench of the possum do-do was overpowering all of the good cooking smells which were making her belly grumble. Flinging open the storage closet door, she started tossing things left and right, looking for some of the "good stuff" the Litter Quitter, never stops sucking up bad odors, honestly she wished they'd packaged it as a deoderant, she knew a few who could benefit from it! Out rolled a volleyball from last year's jello party, bits of slime green stuck to it; a half-chewed spare rib from someone's bbq fell to the floor, the "church" key they'd all been looking for earlier when they just coulnd't quite "pop that top." Tiple strings, wrapping paper, bits of ribbon, "police line" tape with dire warnings (the health inspector had made them put that up around the jello pit when he tried to close it down the year before); feathers, dog and cat hair, dust! "Good gawd doesn't anyone ever clean around here? Ah!" and with that, she dragged out a 20 pound bag of the Litter Quitter, good for stopping odors, putting out flames, feathered and otherwise, and THE preferred brand among scratchin' cats. Dusting off her skirt, tucking in a few stray strands of hair, she tossed the other stuff back into the closet, and quickly slammed the door shut, its sides bulging around the frame. For a brief moment she felt a little guilt and pity for the next person to open it, but then she figured it would be just like a trip down Nostalgic Lane for one of the old folkies; guilt and pity were no more. Lugging the big bag of do-do treatment over to the door, she spread a few clumps over the possum poo, opened the door and spread some out on the front steps, too. Carefully lifting her skirt, she stepped back in, after setting the bag outdoors. "Reddarlin'!" How about some of that Wassail Punch?" she hollered. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amergin Date: 12 Dec 01 - 03:17 PM "yeah, I wrote it...last night, just before I sang it...glad you liked it... said the man, blushing redder than a pissed of Katdarling. "Who's got the next one?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Kim C Date: 12 Dec 01 - 04:17 PM (I didn't say ONLY in jingle bells!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MMario Date: 12 Dec 01 - 04:36 PM Well, I can dream, can't I? warbled MMario as he cut cookies out of a counterfull of dough. He'd found the cutters in a box under the counter; not the most usual of shapes - but he guessed that possums and pissants would have to do instead of reindeer and santas |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: katlaughing Date: 12 Dec 01 - 05:58 PM (Amergin, it is very well-done, thanks for posting it, but, please, a "pissed WHAT of Katdarling?" **BG**) (Jenellen, loved your fine version of Spaw's visit!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Lin in Kansas Date: 12 Dec 01 - 08:41 PM Strange puts her cue back in the case, leaving a full rack on the table for anyone else who wanted to shoot a few. Cue, concertina, and empty glass in hand, she slides quietly to the end of the bar and queries Lej with an upraised eyebrow--got any more of that wassail? "Oh, yeah," she gasps after a healthy swallow, "the Glenlivet was an inspired touch. Thank you!" More carefully, she finishes the glass. Lej tries to pour her another one, but she smiles and shakes her head, covering her glass with her hand. "Later, maybe. One's enough for now." She heads for the door, stopping by the coatrack to don her jacket. She looks back over her shoulder, wondering which of this motley crew had sung that heartrending song about the soldier. Even in the middle of all else on her mind, that song had brought tears to her eyes and a sharp painful memory of Dave. She smiles, remembering his courage and his truly weird sense of humor... Man, whatever the chef was putting together sure smelled wonderful! She hopes she'll be able to come back when the competition's over. "No guarantees," she thinks. "Just give it your best shot, girl." Quietly she opens the door and slips out to her waiting pickup and the long snow-covered road heading south.
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 12 Dec 01 - 08:53 PM Homeless, you pick the style. Fear not, your toes are in as great a danger as mine- if not greater. I'll lean back and follow as best I can- how about Amelia's Waltz? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 12 Dec 01 - 09:59 PM The great Dreadnought rose from its case as lightly as a feather, resonating in its timbers to the laughter and the higher frequencies that lit the evening. A little quick tuning, and a nod to a lovely lass with a fife on his left, and another with a fiddle on his right, and the Stranger brought his large fingers across the strings. The powerful bass of the Martin filled the room with the sweet flowing rhythm of Amelia's Waltz, the fife and the fiddle entwining around the bass notes like angels in the honeysuckle and the dancers floating to the charm a good inch and a quarter off the worn floorboards of the mudcat Tavern. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MAG Date: 12 Dec 01 - 10:08 PM Mebbe I can drag my fellow band members (or a potluck band scramble? what do we all know?)in for a waltz or five:
Planxty Irwin? OK, was it homeless who was going to call a contra? Does anyone else do a Jubilo/Girl I left Behind Me/Road to Boston medley in C? Is that a (beautifully tuned) upright piano I see down there on that roomy dais? How nice for a band not to worry about getting rammed by mad, drunk dancers ... Oh, and punch all around for the band, please ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 13 Dec 01 - 09:49 AM In Bainbridge town, in the County Down, One morning last July, Down a boreen green came a young colleen, And she smiled as she passed me by... The strings raise the music to the roofbeam, the voices penetrate the ancient timbers and the timeless Christmas night, and the smiles reflect one to another as harmonies and verses and laughter fill the rooms, laced with the pungent aromas of kitchen roasts and Guinness stout. It is not for Christmas, nor for the booze that the dancers dance, the singers stretch to the high notes, the fiddlers flail their bows. In a strange way it is not about the music itself. even though every heart in the large tavern is swept up in its notes and its rhythms. For these are the men and women of the Mudcat, bringing their lives together once again, wending their paths amongst one another around the oldest theme known to history. This Tavern and everyone in it are here for the love. And the music carries this certainty far over the snow-wrapped valleys below the Tavern, and onwards across the crisp night, under the endless stars, and on. The music carries on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Peter T. Date: 13 Dec 01 - 12:02 PM The automatic door for the disabled opens briefly, and then an electrical short closes it on the face of what appears to be a black hole on legs, who battles with its inexorable pressure for a few seconds, and then gives up. After a few seconds, this grim spectacle enters by the main door, looking not unlike someone who has been up the previous night celebrating with the Donner Party. Under his arm, he carries a flat TV screen like box with two knobs on it, labelled "Etch-a-Wretch", whose main claim to fame is that whatever one draws on it resembles a character from a Dostoyevsky novel. The lady currently in charge of the festivities seeks to head him off from the jollification, but he is already in the room. He comes to the bar, and pulls out a dollar bill, and says: "Could I have change for the jukebox, esteemed lady?" and she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a quarter. "Here," she says. "But--" he says. "No" she says, "One song, that is it." "But --". "One song." He sighs, and goes over to the jukebox, and gingerly puts the coin in the machine, which debates whether to go ahead, shrugs, and whirrs over to the array of Condolezza Schwartz' tunes, and reluctantly gives it a spin: Just because you aren't a house, don't mean that you ain't haunted, Just because you aren't in a schoolyard, don't mean you won't be taunted; Just because you are sitting surrounded by empty boxes, batteryless toys, and children who say "what about everything else we wanted?", don't mean it is late on Christmas day; and Just because it is darkest, don't mean dawn is on the way.
Just because you can't land, don't make you an Arab hijacker,
But just because you cry all night, it don't mean a thing, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: An Date: 13 Dec 01 - 04:05 PM Outside in the snow he bumps into a darkhaired figure hovering outside, not sure whether to come in or not. She looks at him and asks : would you like to dance? And so he comes swirling back in... Promise me you'll sing another song later, she says, and smiles. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 13 Dec 01 - 08:41 PM LOL, An and PT!!! You guys make a great couple!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 14 Dec 01 - 02:28 AM The drinks are flowing end-to-end, the spirits rising; somehow the alcohol is of the rare sort which has no unhappy side effects and really DOES make people smarter, wittier, better players and singers. Laughter floats from end to end of the winding corners of the Tavern. The Stranger, the fiddler and the fifiste are practicing jogs on the tops of three circular tables drawn together, while keeping up a mad complex rhythm on their instruments and occasionally whooping for effect. Mario has brought forth gigantic platters of Wild Thing with carrots and potatos, and is carving and serving to all comers. Over in the corner, Gargoyle and LEJ are cracking up over the blood feud that is now history. Joe Offer stands behind thebar straring quizzically at a huge narrow printout of charges against his Mudcat Comapny card. An autoharp is ringing out the tale of a Wild Colonial Boy at the other end of the room, and several swaying and somewhat drunken greenhearted Mudcats are harmonizing on the verses. In this moment of intense affection, harmony, good grub and lively bustle it seems as though a small pocket of eternity has been reached which will just run on forever, overflowing with laughter and tunes like some ancient enchanted jug. And who knows, in some stream of time not too many hops over from here, that this is not so?
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MMario Date: 14 Dec 01 - 08:34 AM *coming out of the kitchen with a huge platter of Poor Knights and Poor Clares - hot, golden and crispy* Things are starting to pick up! wonder if I should add a rabbit to the elephant stew?
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Mrrzy Date: 14 Dec 01 - 01:58 PM Pity it's billed as a christmas party, mutters the curmudgeonly but dashing hat... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: MMario Date: 14 Dec 01 - 08:50 PM aw - mrzzy - it's a middle of the dark part of the year winter time get-together - unless of course you're from topsy-turvy land south of the equator - then it's a summertime fun-fest. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Amos Date: 15 Dec 01 - 07:38 PM Out in the parking lot, a trio of dark shadows have broken away from the Spawmobile and are huddling over by the oak tree in cold night air, hunkered downa nd muttering. Suddenly they steo back, and the crisp night is split asunder with the bright colors of...FIREWORKS!!
Big RED ones!! Wide GREEN ones!!
MERRY XMAS ALL CATTERS!! WHOEVER YOU ARE!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: hesperis Date: 15 Dec 01 - 10:07 PM The smell of spaw's passing left noses quite bright the big cracker banged in the blue of the night And faintly as it fell, the words did appear: And we sing you wassail, though you be far from here! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: hesperis Date: 15 Dec 01 - 10:14 PM Oops! Been spending too much time on other forums. Would a kind elf fix the non-existant line breaks for me? *g* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Party 2001 From: Gloredhel Date: 16 Dec 01 - 04:30 PM A kid showed up at the party a little late. She snuck in as inconspicuously as possible and headed straight for a big cosy chair in a corner by the fire, stopping only for a mug of hot chocolate--the punch looked somewhat suspicious. She liked that corner because she could see all the room from there. And as she sipped her hot chocolate and waited patiently for the line at the elephant stew to shorten, she smiled a big, broad, toothy smile. |