Spud o' Christ returns

Subject: Spud o' Christ returns
From: little john cameron
Date: 15 Dec 01 - 01:59 PM

It seems that wonders never cease.Tae disprove the scoffers the miaculous Spud has returned.
Dependable, Reliable & True -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Ingrid MacPherson

The Original Spud o' Christ
A hearty "Hallelujah!" went up from the village of Glen Lachart this month, when local farmer, Hector Young (72), once again cut open a potato, only to find an uncanny representation of the face of Jesus Christ within.

The original Spud o' Christ, discovered by Hector over a year ago, brought happiness and harmony to the village, as well as attracting visitors to the Glen Lachart website from all across the globe. But everyone who knew Him was shocked and saddened earlier this year, when, following a long illness, He returned once again to that great vegetable patch in the sky from whence He came.

The story didn't end there, however. Following a funeral which saw the Holy Spud laid to rest beneath a bush in a top secret location, the bush miraculously began to sprout coffee beans! The resulting "Cuppa Christ" is now available from Glen Lachart's very own online store, courtesy of Betty Tailor.

SECOND COMING

What is being termed The Second Coming of the Spud o' Christ occured on the 19th of December, as Hector prepared himself a "modest supper". Of potatoes.

"There I wis, choppin' up this muckle pile o' tattie for ma dinner," said Hector, taking up the story.

"When a' of a sudden, there He wis, starin' up at me! And whit's more, I'm sure He winked at me! I could hairdly believe ma bloody eyes!"

EXPERT

Religious expert, Father Macolm Brown, claimed to be "amazed" by the Spud's return, claiming that the odds of the same man twice finding the face of Jesus of Nazareth within a root vegetable must be "off the fecking chart".

"But as far as I can tell, it IS the same face," continued Father Brown.

HALO

"It's the same beard, the same halo, the same cheeky grin. Like the original, it even looks like it's been badly drawn on with a blunt marker pen!"

"Which it hasnae been, o' course," interjected Hector, hastily.

Already people from all over the village are making their pilgrimage to Hector's house, eager to pay their respects to the miraculous tattie.

One local woman, Betty Tailor, came to visit the Spud for a very special reason.

NIGGLING

"For the last few days I've had this niggling headache right at the back of my head where I was stabbed yon time," explained Betty.

"I went to visit the Spud, and by the time I got home, my headache had gone!"

Others tell similair stories, and many feel that the return of the Spud o' Christ couldn't have come at a better time for the village.

CHRISTMAS CHEER

"Things haven't been well in Glen Lachart for some time now," Dr MacGregor pointed out this morning, "and the Second Coming of Spud could well be just what the villagers need to give them that bit of Christmas cheer they so desperately need."

The Glen Lachart Star telephoned His Holiness the Pope for a comment yesterday, but he wasn't in.

Noo that should satisfy aw' the doubtin Thomases. ljc

Subject: RE: Spud o' Christ returns
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 01 - 03:06 PM

I moost say, young John, that the delicate and subtle blasphemy of yer tale has a MOST wholesome quality to it!! LOL!!!

A.

Subject: RE: Spud o' Christ returns
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Dec 01 - 03:27 PM

Ya' know, I wish I hadn't already told one Cletus tale about this subject.........LMAO LJ!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Spud o' Christ returns
From: gnu
Date: 15 Dec 01 - 03:46 PM

Priceless.... f***ing priceless !!!! Thanks lj.

Subject: RE: Spud o' Christ returns
From: Mudlark
Date: 15 Dec 01 - 04:23 PM

Oh man, I really needed that! Thanks!!!!