Lyr Req: Red Velvet Steering Wheel Cover Driver

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 29 Dec 01 - 10:31 AM

Hi McGrath

Did you by any chance perform the above-mentioned action in Buntingford just before your vehicle was kicked about ?

Thanks to everyone who sent me the words.

Dave Bryant

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: CraigS
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 02:17 PM

Noto Bene Re: Jobsworth - while Mr Taylor invented the word, that bck-toothed biddy Ester Ranton never gave him credit for the invention and didn't play the song on the show - but in the words of Mr Taylor, That's Life !-)

Re: Records: Mr Taylor has always got quantities of these for sale if you go and see his performances.

There is a general trend these days towards artistes selling their own records; commercial distribution loses them too much money.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 06:26 PM

"They wave cheerfully totally misreading your singular digital salute."

I love doing that. Far more satisfying than giving back a V-sign or a finger. Only troube is I, then I think that I've probably really annoyed that jumped up little shit, and he'll go on an kill some unfortunate road-user a few miles down the highway.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: breezy
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 02:35 PM

I had a leather cover on my mini's steering wheel that I laced on meself, back in 64, Taylors greatest hits also include "The Belle of Barnstaple" and "Jobsworth "as featured on Ester Ranton's That's Life.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Lanfranc
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 02:19 PM

In the 60s in the UK, there was a vogue for embellishing the most boring family cars with, among other things, red velvet covers for the hard bakelite steering wheels of those days. Those who affected such accessories might also have a suedette plastic dog with a nodding head on the back parcel shelf (over the back of the trunk) whose eyes might sometimes light up when the car braked. Volvo rehashed this idea in the 80s, sans dog, and now most new cars have high-level brake lights!

This was also the era of the tiger tail dangling from the fuel cap. Wince!

Alan

PS Sang the song on PalTalk last night.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: DonMeixner
Date: 21 Dec 01 - 12:36 AM

Whistle,

You've seen them here too. Pompoms on the antennae, curb feelrs, Bumper stickers that say "This Car Climbed White Face Mt. and took Me along for the ride" or "My Other Car is a Pace Arrow RV" or "Retired and loving it". A pilot and co-pilot wearing hats saying "Pilot" and "Co-Pilot" and matching powder blue bermuda shorts and "T" shirts wwith a Sailfish on them.

You usually notice the hats and shirts and steering wheel cover when you 83 others finally get to pass them after doing 25 MPH along 40 miles of Alleganey Hi Way. They wave cheerfully totally misreading your singular digital salute.

Don

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: GUEST,Whistle and Bagpipes
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 09:31 PM

Question for all: What exactly IS a Red velvet steering wheel cover driver? I must admit being an American that it has never made any sense!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: breezy
Date: 20 Dec 01 - 02:46 PM

Chorus: I've got the heart of an ape, the liver of a chicken, the blood of an ox through a tube which is sticking to? me spleen which I borrowed from a cow, I was human once but I'm not sure now.
inspired at the time of Dr. Christian Barnards early pioneering work.
verses in me head, I only sing it at medical centre parties at Christmas time these days.
Bryant!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Dec 01 - 03:55 PM

You're right there, alanabit. He was at Walton folk festival a couple of years ago, and the man is brilliant. It wasn't just re-threads of old songs, new ones as well, with a wicked and incisive sense of humour.

There must be a reason he's rarely to be seen, and out of print, or whatever the term is for records that aren't available any more. But it's a shame, and he's definitely not to be missed if you get the chance.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: alanabit
Date: 19 Dec 01 - 03:37 PM

Another Jeremy Taylor song worth checking out is the brilliant "Liberal Man", which at first seems to be having a dig at a Conservative neighbour, but is actually a wicked swipe at humourless lefties. There is also a number, which (I think) is called "Transplant Calypso". I haven't seen or heard anything of Jeremy Taylor in over twenty years now. But I certainly will if he ever comes to this town!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: breezy
Date: 19 Dec 01 - 02:36 PM

where are you D. Bt.?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: GUEST,MCP
Date: 19 Dec 01 - 11:32 AM

Bob - as a classical guitarist I need no persuasion to standard notation. However on text-based news groups (and forums like Mudcat) abc is a convenient (and concise) way to transfer simple melody lines (which is how I came to be using it in the first place). While there are people who will happily play from abc, I still prefer playing from standard notation and when notating multipart guitar transcripts of my own arrangements, for example, I always use standard notation, even if abc can be used to do multipart stuff. It's a case of tools for the job.

Mick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 19 Dec 01 - 07:55 AM

G'day again,

Mark: We know we are a long way from most everything ... we can make a virtue of it, if we try. I like the Vital Signs series and yours was well up to standard.

Aloha

MicK: I know there is a lot out there for ABC - I only see it as a by-product of Alan of Oz's MIDItxt program, but I know a lot of 'Catters use it as a sole medium ... and I know locals who use it, so should get a simple conversion program and grab stuff that is offered in the format After spending a long time as an 'ear player', then one who experimented with personal notation systems, I have come to "real" music notation as an enthusiastic convert, realising there is no need to invent wooden wheels, when there is already roller-bearing, mag-rim, pneumatic, luxury ride real dots ... but ABC bears looking at because no source should be overlooked.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: GUEST,MCP
Date: 19 Dec 01 - 04:26 AM

Bob - the abc isn't so hard to manage. Start at the abc home page. There's a simple tutorial introduction to abc and if you look in the software section you'll find several programs to convert abc to standard notation or to convert it to a midi file.

Mick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 10:03 PM

Thanks, Bob...guess it got waylaid here in Hawaii! Hope you liked it. And, GUEST, I'm from Philadelphia and I understand it perfectly. Maybe I don't get all the references, but I know this guy very well. (But I'll take forgiveness wherever I can find it, so thanks!)

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 09:50 PM

G'day all,

Thanks again to RtS and a merry cool yule (while I negotiate an escape to a friend's property on top of a relatively cool mountain).

Thanks MCP for the ABC (I still have to work out how to translate alphabet soup into real notation (dots) ... but I have been meaning to master the art for some time now, so this will be good for my soul!

Greetings to Mark Cohen: I got to read your Vital Signs article at last ... Discover takes a long time to swim to Australia.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: breezy
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 07:44 PM

Ahgg, is boer not ah but with a gutaral! back of the throat like in the welsh pronunciation of "ch" like what you do if you build up for a good spit, or as they say in the vernacular "gob" no offence intended. and J.T. is on at the Hollybush F.c. Redbourn Herts on Thurs 28th Feb, his return visit within 18 months, so it looks like he's on the up. Great.Somehow the idea of a non Anglo doing RVSWCD takes a bit of getting the head round as the english accent is a pre-requisit. Convince me .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 07:05 PM

This song is Jeremy Taylor being quintessentially English, (the Afrikaans parodies that helped to get him expelled from South Africa in the apartheid years are good too - eg "All the black people want to be white and the white people want to be black" and "ah please Daddy won't you take us to the movies"). It was also (as rendered regularly by Jackie and Bridie on Country meets Folk) a Scouse anthem.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 06:25 PM

Don, this is a VERY English song. No NEw Yorker could posibly understand it. You are forgiven.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: DonMeixner
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 05:01 PM

Somewhere I actually have the Jeremy Taylor Song Book with this in it. The first time I heard this song I recognized it from the book. I found the monotonous and hypnotic beat to be that of the speed bumps on the New York State Thruway. I sat there glazed in the eyes as I heard the song drone on. People said I kept muttering "I have this song, I have this song..." I knew that if this song were to be promoted, countless lives would be lead into oblivion. I vowed to do my best to save personkind. I was so driven that I hide the book and told no one I knew of its existance until now. Many people have said "Hey Don, do know the Red Velvet Steering Wheelcover Driver song or have the chords somewhere?" In shame I looked at my shoes and said "No!". I knew I was lying but what is the greater sin? To willing lie, or promote this song.

I should never have mentioned it I suppose but the burden will be easier to bear now that it is in the open.

Don

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 04:51 PM

Thank you thank you thank you! I learned this song from Mary Benson in Portland (Oregon) in 1982, copied down most of the words, and have been wondering since then about the bits I didn't have. Also good to know who wrote it...what else has he done?

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Ned Ludd
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 03:50 PM

Why not come and see the Man himself. He's on at our Club The General Ludd, The Wheel Inn, James st, Golcar,Huddersfield, West Yorks' on March 8th 2002.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: breezy
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 02:47 PM

I know it, dont I? Want you at the club Fri 25th Jan 02 .Bell me.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: GUEST,harvey andrews
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 12:45 PM

Lyric corrections ; bobbing its head up and down with a singular stare

a souvenir ashtray he bought in Porthcawl ( a British seaside resort of general awfulness)

so throw on your glad rags

Then if memory serves me right it's

just open the tin, think of those gifts you might win

and I'm sure it's not puff the hotwater bottle but I can't think what the true phrase is

Subject: Lyr/Tune Add: RED VELVET STEERING WHEEL COVER...
From: GUEST,MCP
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 12:44 PM

Here's the tune for you. Also as the words of the version on the LP Jeremy Taylor - His Songs (1968) are slightly different from those above (and also from the version in the earlier thread Red Velvet Steering Wheel Cover Driver) I append a transcription of the words from that.

Mick

I re-/mem-ber the/ time, I was/ dri-ving a-/long
On the/ Li-ver-pool/ high-way/ sing-ing a/ song
And the/ day was as/ good as the/ road it was/ long
I was/ on/ my/ way-/
And / then up a-/head, a /black speck a-/ppeared
And/ as I drew/ near, it was / just what I/ feared
Do-ing/ twen-ty-five/ miles an/ hour in top /gear
In the/ out-/side/ lane-/
Oh, dear/ me-/, Glo-ry/ be-/
One of/ them/ I could/ see/
It was a/ red/-vel-vet/ steer-ing wheel/ co-ver/ dri-/i-/-ver

Chorus: La la/ la-/ la la/ la la-/ l a la/ la /la la la/ la//

X: 1
T:Red Velvet Steering Wheel Cover Driver
M:3/4
L:1/4
Q:1/4=180
C:Jeremy Taylor
K:D
F G| A A A| A A A| A A A| A2
G/ F/| G< G G| G2 G| G G G| G2
D/ E/| F F F| F z D/ E/| F A G| F
E D | E3| D3| C3-| C2
F| A A A| A2 F| A A A| A< G
F| G G G| G z E/ F/| G d B| A2
D/ E/|F F F|F z F| F A G| F
E D| E3| D3| C3-| C
D C| B,3-| B, E D| C3-| C
F E| D3| G2 F| E3|
E F E| D3| d2 B| A F E| D2 B,| D3| E3| D3-| D||
%Chorus:
F G| A3-| A G F| E D2-| D E F| G3| F E D| E3-| E||

---

RED VELVET STEERING WHEEL COVER DRIVER (Jeremy Taylor)

I remember the time I was driving along
On the Liverpool highway singing a song
And the day was as good as the road it was long
I was on my way
And then up ahead a black speck appeared
And as I drew near it was just as I feared
Doing twenty-five miles an hour in top gear
In the outside lane
Oh dear me, Glory be
One of them I could see
It was a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.

He and his wife they sat side by side
In their safety belts they were safely tied
And together they drove through the green countryside
Which they did not see.
They had two dingle-dangles that hung by a string
From the mirror and on the back seat was a thing
That wobbled its head up and down
With a singular stare at me.
Up and down, side to side
Keep your eyes open wide
For the red velvet steering wheel cover driver.

Chorus: La la la-. la la la la-. la la la-. la la la la-.


He's got three china ducks on his living room wall
And a bowl of pink plastic flowers in the hall
And a souvenir ashtray he bought in Porthcawl
On his holiday.
And when he gets home he'll go straight to his chair
Switch on the telly and all night he'll stare
At the girls and the gunfights and wish he was there
But he's here to stay.
When he regrets what he didn't see
Then he'll switch to I.T.V.
Cos he's a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.
Chorus x2

Each Monday morning he takes his basket
To town, he goes to the supermarket
He walks up and down, thinks "Oh what a task,
It's so hard to choose".
Cos there's apple sponge pudding all topped with tasty freeze,
Ready cut loaves, instant cake mix, and frozen peas,
All of those fifty-seven varieties
Fresh today.
Hermetically sealed, untouched by human hand,
So easy just heat the tin, think of all the gifs you can win
If you're a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.
Chorus x2

Well it's Saturday night it's the night for a fling
So let's on with our glad-rags and ring-a-ding-ding-O
We're down to the hall for a good game of bingo
And cups of tea.
Then we're back home to bed and switch off the light
Hug our hot water bottle, "Sweet dreams and goodnight,
And God keep us from things that go bump in the night
And especially
All those dreams of the day
When our own children will say
My dad's a red velvet steering wheel cover driver.

Chorus x4 (fade)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 09:38 AM

G'day again, Bob, had another quick look at the results Google threw up. None of them seem to have sound clips but one shows the words (and music?) appeared in Sing Out volume 24 no 4 page 22 and it was on a CD Very Best of Jeremy Hardy" which doesn't seem to be currently available (not on Amazon UK any way!)
Hope you have a not too hot Xmas.
RtS ("Hämta din jacka du har fått ditt ragg ..". as Santa said to Rudolpha)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 08:51 AM

G'day to you Bob, I just copied the first site with lyrics from the Google search.(HERE) but there were lots of other results, some links to recordings. No soundclip on the one I copied.
RtS (I have a bit of the chorus running through my head but couldn't transmit it or describe it!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Red velvet steering wheel cover driv
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 08:29 AM

G'day RtS,

Do you know if a tune resides at the site you located? (It might be asking a bit much ... but I would love to hear how it sounds ... of course, there might also be a link that tells whether it is on some currently available CD ...).

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: Lyr Add: RED-VELVET STEERING WHEEL COVER DRIVER
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 06:52 AM

Sorry for delay, just got out of a meeting:
RED-VELVET STEERING WHEEL COVER DRIVER

I remember one day, I was riding along
On the Liverpool highway singing my song
And the day was as good as the road it was long
I was on my way
When just up ahead, a black speck appeared
And as I drew near, it was just as I feared
Doing twenty-five miles an hour in top gear
In the outside lane
Oh, dear me, Glory be, one of them I could see
It was a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

Chorus:
Tra la la, la-la-la-la
la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la

Well, he and his wife, they sat side by side
In their safety belts, they were safely tied
And together, they rode through the green countryside
That they could not see
He had two dingle-dangles that hung by a string
From the mirror and in the back window this thing
That kept bobbing its head up and down the singular stair at me
Up and down, side to side, keep your eyes open wide
For the red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

He has two china ducks on his living-room wall
And a bowl of pink, plastic flowers in the hall
And a souvenir ashtray that he bought in port-call
On his holiday
And when he gets back, he goes straight to his chair
And he turns on the telly and all night he'll stare
At the girls and the gunfights and wish he were there
But he's here to stay
When he regrets what he didn't see
Then he will switch to ITV
'Cause he's a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

Well, each Friday morning, he takes his basket
To town and he goes to the big supermarket
And he looks up and down and thinks oh, what a task
It's so hard to choose
For there's apple sponge pudding all topped with tasty-freeze
Ready cut loaves, instant cake mix and frozen peas
All of those fifty-seven varieties
Fresh today
Hermetically sealed, untouched by human hands
Just 'neath those tins, think of all those gifts you might win
When you're a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver

Well, it's Saturday night, it's a night for a fling
So, throw on your glad-bags, ring-a-ding ding
And go down to the hall for a good game of bingo and cups of tea
Then it's back into bed and turn off the light
Puff the hot-water bottle, sweet dreams and sleep tight
And God keep us from things that go bump in the night
But especially
All of those dreams of the day, when our own children will say
"My dad's a red-velvet steering wheel cover driver"

RtS (via Google as usual)

HTML line breaks added --JoeClone, 2-Jan-02.

Subject: Red velvet steering wheel cover driver
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 18 Dec 01 - 06:34 AM

Has anyone got the words of this Jeremy Tayler song ?