Tune Req: Vegetables from Hell (Hicks, Francis)

Subject: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,Karen Jonason
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 07:41 AM

I am seeking the tune of the song Vegetables from Hell which I found on an Australian website. The rhythm of the lyrics suggest an Irish tune. Anyone know it?

Subject: Lyr Add: VEGETABLES FROM HELL (Hicks, Francis)
From: GUEST,Paul
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 08:32 AM

This song I presume.

I don't have a tune I'm afraid, but I am curious as to how the rhythm of the lyrics suggest an Irish tune??

Grateful for an explanation. Thanks

Paul

---

The Vegetables From Hell by Peter Hicks and Geoff Francis I ought to put a match to my little veggie patch, I'm sad to say my fingers just aren't green, My cauliflowers won't grow and there's just a sorry row Of thistles where my carrots should have been. I went down to the shop and I asked them, should I stop Trying to grow broccoli and beans - They said, "Take this special seed, it's got everything you need, "To these vegetables they've added human genes." No crop will e'er be lost, They'll withstand the harshest frost, Every known disease and pest they will repel, Their flavour is the best And they'll be stronger than the rest, These vegetables have human genes as well. There was no time for delay, I acted straight away, Digging holes and furrows here and there, Cauliflowers and beets, tomatoes, onions, turnips, peas, Beans and more I planted everywhere. Every word they said was true, my veggies grew and grew, I watched them grow up healthy, plump and strong. Not the merest hint of blight, not a pest or parasite, This time I knew that nothing could go wrong. No crop will e'er be lost… But then one's summer's day I noticed something strange, There were snow peas where the turnips used to stand, "We're a far superior breed, so to satisfy our needs, "We've occupied and settled turnip land." There was a god almighty fight between the black beans and the white, Their pods lay scattered on the ground like graves, As far as I could see it had its roots in history, The white wanted the black to be their slaves. And when I tried to pick some peas, they all surrounded me, The tomatoes, beetroots, squash and cauliflowers, "We'll not give our lives for you so you know what you can do, "The mastery of this planet now is ours." The whole world heard me scream as I woke up from my dream, A nightmare worse than any that I'd known. But it left me with the fear, is it such a good idea To interfere with things best left alone? And if some crop is lost to disease or pest or frost, Well, that's the way it's been since time began, Do you think we can foresee what the consequence will be Of changing what we still don't understand? No crop will e'er be lost, They'll withstand the harshest frost, Every known disease and pest they will repel. But we don't even have a clue What it's likely leading to - These veggies are the vegetables from hell! The Radical Songbook Song List

I figured we ought to have the lyrics in this thread, not just a link. This IS folk, in’t it?
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Karen J
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 11:26 AM

Re. the lyrics: they have a sort of bouncy feel and if I sing them to an Irish sort of tune they feel right. I'd still like the real tune though!

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 11:30 AM

I thought it was a new Mudcatter, Vegetables from Hull.

~S~

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 12:16 PM

Oi! Wizzywig....

;>{D}

*GRINS*

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: wysiwyg
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:01 PM

A group membership-- carrots from hull, radishes from hull, broccoli, etc. Crunchy and good for you.

If I were from Hull, let's see, I think right now I'd be the Rutabaga from Hull, looking for a bunch of potatoes to make Rutmus.

~S~

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 01:18 PM

I have always cosidered broccoli the vegetable from hell. I am sure everyone has their own candidates -- okra, plaintains of various sorts, stringy squash, and on and on. Some kids, although I am not one, feel that ALL vegetables share a common point of origin down in those lower regions!

A

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,SharonA at the library
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 02:16 PM

Artichokes. I love them steamed, with lemon butter, but they've got prickly parts as well as a thistle that'll kill ya (hence the term "choke") if you're fool enough to eat that part. Hardly the sort of thing one would expect a benevolent God to create!

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 02:24 PM

If that's the limit of your disappointment, Sharon, count yourself blessed!!

A

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 02:25 PM

Turnips

My grandmother would mash the damn things andalthough a bit more transluscent, they resemble mashed potatoes. When you're 5 or 6, you don't see that difference easily and diving into a mound of turnips when you were expecting taters is enough to gag a maggot! BTW, I never forgave her for that.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 04:17 PM

Go on, 'Spaw, forgive her...it will help your karma immensely. And I think your karma needs all the help it can get! ["Pardon me, but I think my karma just ran over your dogma"]

But back on track, has anyone wondered who first figured out how to eat an artichoke? I mean, it's the only food I know of that needs an instruction manual.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,SharonA at the library
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 04:25 PM

Mark: You mean, the first one who lived to tell the tale? BTW, who was the first brave soul to eat a kiwi fruit?

Amos: No, no, I'm not disappointed at all. I suspect the artichoke's defense system is all part of that Curse of Adam and Eve thang. *G*

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 04:49 PM

Come to the Saturday Farmer's Market here in Hilo, and you'll find fruits and vegetables that look like they came out of a bad science fiction movie! (Ever see a rambutan? It's bright red and looks like a cross between a plum and a Koosh ball.) But oh, do they taste good! Well, most of them, anyway...

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 05:55 PM

Spaw, you touched off a memory for me on the turnips. My Mom did the same thing..."eat them. They're mashed potatoes!" I would gag a few spoonfuls down, thinking "there's something really wrong with these potatoes." Later, when I discovered that they were a different vegetable entirely, I was ok with them.

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 06:40 PM

Um, while we've been having fun here, Karen, who started this thread with a simple request, is still waiting patiently to see if anyone knows the tune to the song.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 06:51 PM

Oooh---I've always thought of brussels sprouts as vegetables from hell!

I'd include lima beans, but I suppose they're "legumes from hell"!

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 08:39 PM

"There is only ONE veg-etable from Hell dear Bretheren and sistren...only one veg-etable SO despise-ed among the others that have been blessed..SO despise-ed that decent veg-etables actually cross the street upon it's approach, lest they be infected with it's despise-edness... Yea I'm talkin' about a veg-etable that blemisheth the very name "veg-etable"...Yea I mean that curse-ed, most vile, most hideous abomination....and it's name is....Can I hear a Hialeah....ONION!! Out damned veg-etable!"

Pastor Fuzz

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 09:22 PM

G"day Karen Jonason,

What was the "Australian Website"? Can you give the name or URL ... I may be able to contact the person responsible and track down tune details.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,Paul
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 10:05 PM

Bob,

I put a link in the first reply to this thread... (scroll up a bit)

Paul

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: little john cameron
Date: 22 Dec 01 - 10:43 PM

Geez Rick,funny you should mention that.Oor mutual pal Jonnie Lynn hates them as weel.You should see him searchin through his denner lookin for disguised onions.Ah mind ah couldnae staun dill pickles.Maist times when ye get tae a pairty the only thing left are the wee slices that fowk picked aff an' left oan the plate.Ane time ah wis starvin an' that wis aw' that wis left,so ah scoffed them.Noo ah can scoff the hale jaur.ljc

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 07:36 AM

G'day GUEST,Paul,

Thanks ... I had not followed your link. I know Peter Hicks and Geoff Francis. They did live nearby in Sydney, but they've moved down to southern Tasmania - however, I have kept in touch, so I will see if Peter has the tune in some sort of notation.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 09:19 AM

(Um, Mark, some folks post just to keep an interesting thread near the top, instead of saying "refresh".... I think we all hope to see this request filled.)

~S~

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 07:02 PM

Oh, pastor~tell us o' the lickin' burnin' flames o' Hell in which the demon onions will roast for all eternity, surrounded wi' lima beans & brussels sprouts a-prickin' 'em wi' pitchforks! (Personally I like onions, but that doesn't necessarily signify much---they'd be by no means the only things I'm fond of that I'd be unsurprised to meet in Old Nick's parlor!)

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 07:09 PM

Brussel sprouts and broccoli, and likewise rutabagga
Are vege-tables of the damned, the kind sir that will gag ya!
To live on nothing else but this should be a traitor's sentence!
If vegetables can sin, then they have exceeded all repentance

Cho:

They're the vegetables from hell!
The vegetables from hell!!
God spare us all from dining on
The vegetables from hell

Who's up for the second verse?

A

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 07:16 PM

Sung to the tune of.....?

"Ye brussels sprouts and turnips, Pray learn from what I know Your knack for indigestion's Gonna land ye down below!"

OH

"Cause ye're vegetables from Hell, The vegetables from hell!! God spare us all from dining on The vegetables from hell"

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 07:21 PM

G'day again Karen,

I have passed on your request to Peter Hicks ... if he's not off on tour, or up to his eyeballs in Christmas gigs, he may get back soon. I suspect that the tune could be one of his own ... and I doubt that he would have it in notation form ... we will see.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 07:30 PM

G'day again,

GUEST,Paul and Karen: I was going to say that I did not think that Peter and Geoff would be all that likely to use an Irish tune ... especially with Peter's great interest in Blues ... But I may need to back off alittle on that. The lyric has a persistent internal rhyme in the third line of each quatrain (what the Irish don't call "Rhyme Royal!) and that is quite common in Irish popular song of the 19th century.

Australian song (unlike what you would have thought of dance, listening to many "Bush Bands" of the 1980s) does have a strong Irish strain, resonating as it does with the Australian larrikin streak. We will see what Peter comes up with.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 09:43 PM

I misread the title, I thought it said vegetables from hull.!

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: GUEST,Gorgeous Gary
Date: 23 Dec 01 - 10:45 PM

The only veggies from hell I know about emerge from the sentient chili us filkers sing about...

Beware of the sentient chili
that burbbles away on your stove
the peppers are silently plotting
with legumes, tomatos and cloves...

(snippet of a classic filksong by Chris Weber)

-- Gary, personally hates lima and kidney beans

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 12:37 AM

Of the turnip I do sing, and likewise cauliflower
Who give the tongue a sullen sting with bitter or with sour
And I must wonder who was the first to tempt the fickle fates
By cooking up such damned stuff and serving it on plates

Cause ye're vegetables from hell etc....

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Guessed
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 05:30 AM

the difference between a Brussel (aka ENGLISH in Sainsburies {sic}) Sprout & a bogey is............
you CANNOT get a boy to eat sprouts
no skin of their nose?

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 24 Dec 01 - 08:06 PM

G'day again Karen (& Paul),

As I thought, Peter Hicks is on the road ... this came from Geoff (more the words end of the composition):

Hello Bob,

Alas. the only person who knows the tune is Peter who is away until Dec 30.

We'll see what we can do after then!

Happy yuletide.

Geoff

I'll get back next year!

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 22 Apr 02 - 09:38 AM

G'day again, Karen,

I PM'ed you with the reply from Peter Hicks ... to the effect that he had not actually written a tune yet ... ! He is going to sit down and write one ... soon ... and send me (and you ... if I get your e-mail) a sound file.

Any way, I had not thought about tunes, since I presume Pete had one already, but I have now looked through the words - and the immediate tune that came to my mind was something in the general area of Maggie May (or the half dozen related songs in the Australian genre). This has the right bar count and structure.

Interestingly, Maggie May is just one of the descendants of the old Methodist hymn staring
"He's the lily of the valley, He's the bright and shining star ..."

Another is, of course, The Little Old Log Cabin on the Plain, which someone recently described, on this site, as "the tune for every bluegrass song". Maybe, considering that Pete is looking squarely at the American seed industry, that is the appropriate tune ...? I'll wait and see what Peter produces - but I am beginning to hear Little Old Log Cabin in my brain!

egards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegtables from hell
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 22 Apr 02 - 11:42 PM

WYSIWYG -- Wasn't there a movie by that title : "The Rutabaga That Ate Hull"?

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Mountain Dog
Date: 23 Apr 02 - 12:05 AM

Then there's the classic Ogden Nash couplet:

"Parsley is gharsley."

(I know, I know, it's an herb, but that's why old Ogden always kept his poetic license posted in a prominent place...)

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: fat B****rd
Date: 23 Apr 02 - 05:18 AM

Radishes, F...ing Radishes !!!!!!!!! Not only do I hate the taste but I fail to see how anybody can eat the dreadful things.

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Troll
Date: 23 Apr 02 - 08:35 AM

Vile, vapid, vulgar, vomitrocious, vested with NO virtue...eggplant.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

troll

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:12 AM

OK troll, calm down, no egg plant here!

I thought Vegetables From Hell might have been a Peter Stampfel string band name, like McGrundy Old Timey Wool Thumpers or something.

I agree with Brussel's sprouts, small cabbages or something.

My least favorite is asparagus. Next stewed tomatoes.

I actually like broccoli, really! Especially with a light cheese sauce. Hmmmmm.

I LOVE onions, at least the taste. Unfortunately they do not love me and when I get one in something or other I am always torn between eating it and staying near the john or picking it out.

Gastrointestinal alert! White Castle's "onions" are NOT onions, they are CABBAGE! Really. That explains the gas. I don't know what those pieces of greyish matter (not brains) that passes as meat are in fact but I suspect it is sweepings.

Well last night I had some delicious morels and bison on home-made bread with dried, sun ripened tomatoes and a lovely mixed vegetable salad, with white zinfandel. The mix had broccoli and cauliflowers, summer squash, carrots, cucumber and vine ripened tomato.

I have had egg plant sauteed in garlic butter and loved it. I tend to hang out with people who take cooking VERY seriously and they always seem to now just how to get it RIGHT! Ever tried cream cheese soup?

CB

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:15 AM

Er ... G'day fatB****rd and Troll,

I think you blokes have a few problems ... I bought eggplant tonight ... on the menu tomorrow ... love radishes (great vegetable to get kids gardening ... grow quickly and they can just pull 'em out of the ground, rinse them off. sprinkle a lit salt on them and eat them raw ... delicious!)

Oh ... and the the thread is actually about genetically modified vegies ... !

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:06 AM

G'day yet again:

Karen, Now I look at the song as being in "open season" (IE: Peter hasn't actually got a preferred tune for it ... yet) I keep think of existing tunes to which I would sing it. Some may be suggested by association of ideas ... but I'm now favoring Self Sufficient Farm, a lovely little tale of hopeful (would be) organic farmers, written by Don Henderson, a lovely Australian songmaker who passed away about ten years back.

Maybe I should check to see if I have posted this one, with it tune in Alan of Oz's MIDItxt app. I think it works well ... but then Peter will come along with something fresh from the depths of his creative talents ... ? I'll have to give it a run with one or other of these tunes - when I get the spare time to get along to an open session.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Troll
Date: 24 Apr 02 - 01:08 AM

Actually I am supremely happy that there are people who love eggplant. That means that there is less of the ghastly stuff around for others to try and foist off on ME! Oh! You haven't tried eggplant the way my Aunt Hepzibah makes it. Trust me, you'd love it!
Trust me, I wouldn't. Everyone draws the line somewhere. Eggplant's where I draw mine.

troll

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Trevor
Date: 24 Apr 02 - 03:40 AM

Swedes, parsnips and turnips. I think it's genetic. None of the males in my family can eat them without heaving. I'm feeling ill just imagining it. And it's not my mother's cooking either - we experimented on my nephew, gave him mashed up swede, he swallowed it, smiled and promptly vomited. YEEESSSS! A real Hedges man!

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 24 Apr 02 - 08:56 AM

G'day again Troll,

Not quite sure there is a real name or recipe for tonight's dinner - Patricia browned some onions, added chopped eggplan and Roma tomatoes plus chickpeas ... coriander, cummin and black pepper. Very tasty, nutritious, healthy and vegetarian.

There's (fairly literally) not future in pre-embalming your heart and arteries in cholesterol when you can eat so many tasty alternatives to fatty meat. (And, by and large, Australians eat the least fatty meat around!).

Oh and BTW: Karen - I'm sending you an e-mail with a tune I just set to the song that this thread i actually about.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Troll
Date: 24 Apr 02 - 09:36 AM

Bob, I never said that I gorged on fatty meat.
I simply cannot abide eggplant. It has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that it is a vegetable and everything to do with the fact that it is EGGPLANT!!!
I hope that you enjoy your association with the stuff and that the association is a lengthy one.
I, on the other hand, will stay as far away from the beastly stuff as is practical. I cook it for Memsahib on ocassion (mousaka) because she loves it but that is as far as I will go.

troll

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Mountain Dog
Date: 24 Apr 02 - 09:56 AM

Trevor,

You're quite right about swede (rutabaga to those of us in the US) - it's the answer to the question "What the %)#%$*! could be worse than a turnip?!?"

Spaw - I know the old "turnips for potatoes" bait-and-switch from my growing up, too. (I suspect that those who insist "you can't tell the difference between them" are among those same poor taste-bud impaired folk who claim that carob "tastes just like chocolate"...and if carob were a vegetable, it would be on my heave list, too.)

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Steve-o
Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:31 PM

...."Not quite sure there is a real name or recipe for tonight's dinner - Patricia browned some onions, added chopped eggplan and Roma tomatoes plus chickpeas ... coriander, cummin and black pepper. Very tasty, nutritious, healthy and vegetarian." I got a name for this, Bob, but there's ladies present. You should be locked in a room for a week with David Lindley's version of "The Meat Man" playing over and over!

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 09:42 AM

Vegitables from HULL

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: GUEST,Mrs Lemon
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 11:57 AM

Trevor: I'm so sorry. One evening you came to my house and ate home-made veg soup. You ate the lot and I nearly always put parsnips in it! Did you 'hoik' all the way home? You never said. You are a gentleman!!

Sally

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: Trevor
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 12:06 PM

I had big probs with it - the butternut squash was OK though

Subject: RE: Vegetables from hell
From: GUEST,Shazam
Date: 25 Apr 02 - 12:17 PM

I have a real problem with onions,garlic and anything even smelling like them being cooked. Do you think I'm related to a vampire?