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The Impact of Romance on Your Music

Little Neophyte 11 Jan 02 - 08:37 AM
Dave the Gnome 11 Jan 02 - 08:44 AM
Micca 11 Jan 02 - 09:07 AM
Naemanson 11 Jan 02 - 09:11 AM
Allan C. 11 Jan 02 - 09:12 AM
CarolC 11 Jan 02 - 09:24 AM
GUEST,Guest (hiding under cloak of anonymity) 11 Jan 02 - 09:45 AM
Fortunato 11 Jan 02 - 09:56 AM
Cappuccino 11 Jan 02 - 10:12 AM
Kim C 11 Jan 02 - 10:33 AM
JenEllen 11 Jan 02 - 11:24 AM
Midchuck 11 Jan 02 - 12:05 PM
Jim Krause 11 Jan 02 - 12:26 PM
AllisonA(Animaterra) 11 Jan 02 - 12:53 PM
Little Neophyte 11 Jan 02 - 01:28 PM
Justa Picker 11 Jan 02 - 01:40 PM
LoopySanchez 11 Jan 02 - 02:00 PM
GUEST,(MEJ) 11 Jan 02 - 04:35 PM
CapriUni 11 Jan 02 - 11:10 PM
GUEST,.gargoyle 12 Jan 02 - 12:00 AM
CapriUni 12 Jan 02 - 01:18 AM
Mr Red 12 Jan 02 - 10:35 AM
Roger in Baltimore 12 Jan 02 - 10:52 AM
Charley Noble 13 Jan 02 - 10:26 AM
Mr Red 13 Jan 02 - 02:39 PM
GUEST 14 Jan 02 - 08:54 AM
GUEST,arnie 14 Jan 02 - 11:12 AM
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Subject: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 08:37 AM

Dear Mudcatters,
Since I fell in love I've notice I don't have a driving desire to play my banjo like I use to. The romance offers me a fulfilled feeling of contentment. I don't seem to have an urge to learn new tunes or play for hours like I use to. Its as if the love I've found fills in that space.  Mmmmmm maybe this is a phase I'm going through and it will all rebalance itself.  I figure it has to do with having such a big thing walk into my life.
So what do you guys think? Ever gone through something like this?

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 08:44 AM

Perhaps you're subconciously frightened of scaring off your new love by letting them know you play the banjo;-)

(Don't mean it really - just had to say it before someone else got in!)

Cheers

Dave the Gnome


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Micca
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 09:07 AM

Bonnie, sweetie, lovely to see you and hear your news.
Often I have found that I wrote my best songs from being unhappy(" we create from what we lack") but maybe perform better when I am feeling loved and cared for, it may have something to do with feeling complete and at ease? and not being "driven"? to express onself but letting it flow out as a celebration of feeling good and loved, But then what do I know?
Take no notice of the Gnome he is just jealous of your Banjo playing skills!!!!( as we all are)


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Naemanson
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 09:11 AM

I used to sing Cyril Tawney's "Sally Free And Easy" with a great deal of angst. The others in the group (Roll & Go) say I no longer have that edge in my voice since I met Rebecca.

Plus I find I am not picking up my guitar as often as I did in the lonely years.

I'm with you, Bonnie, and I don't know what is causing it either. It might be time constraints. My loved one lives 45 minutes away and I spend a lot of time on the road or on the phone.


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Allan C.
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 09:12 AM

I believe playing the banjo was, among other things, a means for dealing with loneliness (or reinforcing it, depending upon who you ask!). You needed your music to help to drive away the blues. You don't need it anymore for that purpose, but it is still an important component of your life. So, although you may have set it aside in order to nurture your new romance, I am sure you will find new ways for your music to become a vital part of your life again. It is too important an element for you to not share it with your partner.

But to respond more specifically to your question, yes, I have experienced this. I will have to admit that there was a time when I virtually abandoned my music in order to attempt to fit my partner's mold. It was a stupid thing to do, but it took me a long time to recognize the importance of having done this. I won't get into a lot of details about this. But I will tell you that it is beyond wonderful to have returned to this integral part of what makes me, me.


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 09:24 AM

No. This hasn't happened to me. Music was inextricably a part of my last two relationships. Hand in glove, so to speak. In fact, my second to last relationship is the reason I started playing music again. At the beginning of my other significant relationships, I wasn't playing music anyway.


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: GUEST,Guest (hiding under cloak of anonymity)
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 09:45 AM

Bonnie, and Naemanson, congratulations to each of you in your loves. However I'd have to differ with you, since in my own experience finding love, (and Mudcatting), has unleashed a great flood of creativity in me that I can barely comprehend, but which I enjoy and relish. I've been inspired to write and sing some songs which I'm very pleased with, and which I've been happy to share with others. And, yes, my SO shares this love of singing, so that musically and emotionally this is proving a wonderful experience for both of us.

I apologise for posting this incognito, but there are reasons for not "going public" just yet, but I would like Bonnie to know that love doesn't have to make the music stop - it can make it better!


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Fortunato
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 09:56 AM

Well, what does one 'DO' when one is with one's true love? Besides phyical affection, of course. In case you have anytime leftover after hugging, kissing and gazing fondly upon thy true love, one must find some activity. There are movies, bowling, minature golf, bear-baiting, (ice) fishing, etc.

I have found that one VERY satisfying thing to do is PLAY MUSIC TOGETHER. Learn tunes together, if you paramour is a player; if they're not, well, that never worked for me, THE DEITY knows I tried.


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Cappuccino
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 10:12 AM

I fear I have an appalling habit of getting involved with the female singers in bands I worked with - even married one of them!

But romantic disaster has had an effect recently. In the depths of despair after someone (yeah, a singer!) went and married someone else, I was sent a helpful quote by another Mudcatter... I looked up the source of the quote, which gave me a chorus. An hour later, and I have a song of hope and optimism with which I am very, very pleased!

Doesn't half ease the pain...

- Ian B


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Kim C
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 10:33 AM

Well, sometimes it makes me write songs. :-)


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: JenEllen
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 11:24 AM

Ah, Bons. Such good news.

I don't know that music has ever stopped or that there has ever been any less of a desire, but I know that the music itself certainly changes. As Naemanson described, it is really hard to sing the blues with a smile on your face, but there are other things that cannot be sung or played without joy in your heart.

What I suspect? You are in the throes, dear girl! When balance is finally met, the two of you will find a wonderful comfort zone where you will have both love and music in your home. There is nothing finer.

All the best,
yerJenny


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Midchuck
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 12:05 PM

I agree with IanB. Being in love, with someone who loves you, probably takes one's attention away from music to some extent.

But unrequited love, or being dumped, gives rise to many great songs. Unfortunately.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Jim Krause
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 12:26 PM

Neo: The short answer is Nope.

The long answer is if I weren't playing music, I'd be singing. If I weren't playing music, or singing, I'd be dead. If I were dead, I'd be playing AND singing wherever the dead go after they leave this earth. And yes, I've managed to play and sing and fall in love all three in one lifetime. And after 22 years, I'm still nuts about my mother-in-law's daughter.
Jim


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 12:53 PM

I'm with Guest-under-a-cloak- making beautiful music together can be one of the perks of new true love!


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:28 PM

Thanks for your input guys!!!

We do play music together which I enjoy immensely yet it seems I've lost that fire under my butt which drove me to play my banjo constantly. I'm even loosing my calluses......(maybe there is some deep profound hidden meaning there)

Bonnie


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Justa Picker
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:40 PM

..what Midchuck said..
When you're happy, content, in love...you can lose a little (or a lot) of your creative edge. The best and most poignant songs (and pickin') seem to come from those times when you're in a state of darkness, despair, depression.....etc. But, I am very very happy for you!
All the best!


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: LoopySanchez
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 02:00 PM

Right there with you on this one, Neo... For me It's been much tougher to write good songs since meeting a woman who'll put up with me, much less love me. I could always find something to write about, and spend countless hours at the task when I was flying solo, but it seems like a contented heart has to be tricked into writing good music sometimes. I'll have to trick myself into writing by putting myself in another's shoes or by thinking back to the times when things weren't as good in my life.

Another problem for me is just finding time to play. I used to be able to put in the hours of playing like you referred to, but now it's tougher to play two or three hours a night when you're part of a relationship...

Not that I'm complaining--It's a great problem to have, and one I haven't had nearly often enough in the past!!!


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: GUEST,(MEJ)
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 04:35 PM

Naemanson,

Yes, DEFINITELY with angst. And the best performance of that song I ever heard!

Congratulations to you and Rebecca, and best wishes, and may "Sally Free And Easy" be permanently "withdrawn from repertoire".

Mary in Boston


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: CapriUni
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 11:10 PM

:::Sigh:::

Here's a question: While being in love may take the edge off musical writing and performing at the time, does having the experience of being in love, and of having loved another make you a better artist in general -- you know, the whole empathy-with-another-person, expanding your perspective thing...

I've never been in love, myself (hence the sigh), but personally, I find I have more creative energy when I'm happy with the world. When I'm feeling down, the Inner Critic comes in and squelches everything I try to create. And I sing more when I am happy...

just my penny and a half...


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 12:00 AM

My ONLY reason to write lyrics, compose tunes, burn the midnight oil....is BECAUSE of love/lust.

Without romance....the world..... would literally be a "dead planet."

Sincerely sorry, about your loss, may you re-channel it into beauty.

Gargoyle


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: CapriUni
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 01:18 AM

"Sincerely sorry, about your loss, may you re-channel it into beauty."

Whose loss, Gargoyle?


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 10:35 AM

Well if the Banjo was satisfying a need other than filling in time usefully you will be subjugating that need while the deficit department is emptied of other ghost. The banjo may be sneaking in there. What I am saying is - the ballance in your life is temporal and before the time comes, review what fullfills you otherwise you may be missing out long term.

When I met Joy I laid out a few rules eg the importance folk music to me. Such was the rapport she didn't see them as rules. But then within 6 months she tells me what dances we go to, explains the ceilidh steps to others and invents infill moves.
Jumping with Joy - you bet.


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 10:52 AM

I believe that romance leaves less time for music. There are other "interesting" activities in which you can participate when you are in love.

As a guy with a Masters degree in Psychology, I believe Freud would say that music can be a sublimation for other basic drives (like sex and companionship). That just means when you don't have sex or companionship, you may compensate by putting your energy into something enjoyable, like playing music.

Don't fret. We change. Sometimes I look back on my time alone when I could record all of the local folk music radio shows (all three of 'em)and then review them an make tapes of the songs I enjoyed. I could also stay up half-the-night learning a new song to sing and play. All of this has gone by the board since I met Marge. However, I have not deserted music. I play guitar and sing most every day. I perform regularly (including music).

Consider it a fair exchange. I have no intention of giving up Marge or music. If either demanded the desertion of the other, I would have to let one go. And it might be either.

Roger in Baltimore


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Charley Noble
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 10:26 AM

In the words of the all too mortal Bill Morressey ("Snow Outside the Mill"):

Well, I met a girl in the weaveroom one day;
She promised to love me, if I promised to stay;
Yes, I made her my wife, one day that same spring;
Now she turns up the TV when I start to sing...


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 02:39 PM

Yea - Sharing and caring. There has to be more than the bedroom. I have seen at least two relationshipd where the woman has "gone along" with my hobbies and sounded keen but with time they loose interest because it is not their interest, or the just have a short attention span.
The banjo will wait for you PAL but what did it provide in your life? achievement? Pride? challenge? friends? Reward? So can a lover but they don't have to be mutually exclusive.


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 08:54 AM

...when all is right with the world, as in the light of a passionate love, there is a completeness that doesn't need anything else but itself. There's not much inducement to write about it or create something external based on this completeness when everything you're doing in going about your daily life is infinitely rewarding and fulfilling. Even taking out the garbage, when done from the depths of your soul, becomes a beautiful event.

Yet there are hundreds of thousands of songs, paintings, sculptures, what-have-you...that stand in testament to romance. Artists are so move by these feelings that it compels them to try their hand at externalizing love for the rest of the world to see or hear. Love serves as an inspiration to create something.

And so does the lack of it. Personal opinion, but the most interesting art is that which is created as an antithesis to empty space, or to fill a void. That is to say, in response to the feeling that there is a lack of beauty here.

To confess, I've written stuff from the standpoint of being in love and not being in love, and I'm more prolific when I'm on the rebound than when I'm in a relationship. Call it "therapy."


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Subject: RE: The Impact of Romance on Your Music
From: GUEST,arnie
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:12 AM

Bonnie - You are best when you give your concentration on one aim at a time. When your aim was beginning banjo you worked on that. When you went to Dillar's camp - you focused on that. It's a good way to be , because whatever you do - you put the utmost energy into it and try to excel. So here's hoping that you excel at your new romance - and just thank god he doesn't play bagpipes. Now that you play banjo very well, you'll always have it available to be part of your life whenever you want -isn't that great!


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