TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!

Subject: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 08:17 PM

So very sorry, Dr. Mark.........hope you have a very happy birthday on Joe Offer's wedding day. May you never have to do another proctology exam in your life! Oh, you don't do those with Pediatrics? Well, how about.......May You Never, Ever Have to Deal With a Stage MOM!

Pour one for Pele, and 2 for yourself! You're 21 and holding, right?

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: alison
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 08:22 PM

Happy Birthday Mark,

love and hugs from Down Under

alison

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: bflat
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 08:24 PM

Aloha Mark! Happy Birthday!

Ellen

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 08:34 PM

Mark, it was a clever plot by Joe to foil your birthday thread!
Happy Birthday! May the Birthday Fairy make you repellent to accidentally-released body fluids and at least one semi-solid.

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 08:41 PM

Glacious! (What a Polish-born friend of mine exclaims. With her limited English, she has not yet caught on to this use of 'gracious' while she is familiar with Alaska's glaciers.) I hasten to add my belated birthday wishes to Dr. Mark. May all your troubles be little ones.

Eb

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 08:50 PM

(You feel better yet, Mark? grin.......)

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Genie
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 09:27 PM

Mark, I meant to post a birthday wish for you on the 12th (that's the real day, right?), but I got distracted. Hope it was a happy one.

Genie

P.S.
Your name gets taken in vain (with affection, of course) here in Portland and in Seattle at song circles from time to time. Come visit us again when you can.

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 10:07 PM

Another year older, Doc? Ain' no big ting! Have a good one!

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 10:22 PM

Shit! Missed another one!

Oh well, happy belatedness!

~Susan

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 10:51 PM

Thanks, folks. Now I'm happy again! Joe's wedding was much more important, anyway. I mean, how many wedding days--no, let's not go there. You guys are da best! And as a token of my thanks, here's the first song I've written in ten years....just for all of you. (Ri-i-i-ght...) It sucks, but it's a start.

DA KINE
(c) 2001 Mark Cohen, but if somebody steals it I won't mind, unless they make a lot of money with it, in which case I want some

(medium reggae beat)

When you're in Hawaii
People talk in a different way
On the street or on the beach
You can hear them say
"Aloha", "Mahalo"
They call you "Tita" or "Brada"
But there is one thing they say
More than any other

CHORUS
They say Da Kine
Say it all the time
It don't have to rhyme, it always sounds so fine
They say Da Kine

Da kine means "you know", Da kine means "that guy"
"Whatchamacallit" or "Whozit"
People know just what you mean
Every time you use it

CHORUS

I may be one malihini*
But one thing I know
If you want to sound like a local
This is how you gotta go

CHORUS (You gotta say...)
*newcomer

Thanks again, folks, you made this little island boy very happy. (Hint? What hint? Moi??)

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 10:53 PM

LOL! Just glad to keep you happy Mark!

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Jan 02 - 11:33 PM

E kala mai `oe ia`u. Sorry...I missed it!

Hau`oli Lâ Hânau! Happy Birthday!

E pili mau nâ pômaika`i me `oe! Best wishes!

Me ke aloha,

katwhohopesthetranslationprogramwascorrect!:-)

LOVE YOUR SONG and thanks for another year of sharing on the Mudcat!

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:24 AM

Mark, how could you keep this a secret from me? Do you have any other little secrets you want to share before I place my safety in your hands on that little island of yours? ;-)

Happy Birthday!

Carol

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: DancingMom
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:42 AM

Hope your day was great! Sharon

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 02:13 AM

Gee, I don't know, Carol, I had this funny idea that it's not cool to tell people your birthday's coming up so they can say happy birthday to you, especially when there was lots of discussion on YOUR birthday thread about the page on the Mudcat Member Information section that has everybody's birthday listed...

OK, OK, it was a teensy bit passive-aggressive, I admit. It's a cultural thing. You know how many Jewish mothers it takes to change a light bulb? Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark.

Will you forgive me if I take you swimming under a waterfall? (There's one right behind my former house, with a cave behind it....)

And by the way, it's not a little island, it's the Big Island! I mean, it's roughly the size of Connecticut, after all. I know, that's not as big as West Virginia...but you don't have palm trees in West Virginia...or plumeria massage oil...

Thanks again!

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,micca at work
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:35 AM

Mark , You are a Miserable GIT!!!!! you were on PT last night and not a hint about it being your Birthday!!!!
Now Plumeria massage oil.....WOW!!!!! every year in May, I make a pilgrimage to Kew gardens(The Royal Botanical Gardens) here in London to view and smell the Plumeria when it is in bloom.....The true evocative perfume( for me) of Hawaii I remember, in the dark under a Plumeria tree in a friends garden up back of Diamond Head, while she tried to teach me hula to the tune "Lahaina Luna" which we were trying to sing as well, after a LOT of Cuba Libres, great Hawaiian times!!!
well Brada, for me, You are certainly Da'Kine.. Happy Birthday, and Aloha Micca

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:38 AM

Geeziz........I can't believe it! A birthday thread that has unique messages and not just the same old thing that Joe Offer hates so much (a long line of Happy Birthdays). I think you all are getting the hang of it now and I know Joe will be pleased because it also keeps me from from having to post something different to salvage the thread to his satisfaction. Even the Honoree here has added to the mix with something completely different. I am proud of all of you! Now I can just say:

Happy Birthday Doc!

Spaw

......okay........maybe just a little something........

HEY MARK!!!!

Go Stick a Pineapple Up Your Ass!!!

.......

aahhhh.......that's better.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:51 AM

BTW Carol......I've never heard it called "safety" before..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:36 AM

'Spaw, I'm honored that you would get up at 4:30 in the goddamn morning just to wish me a happy belated birthday. Now, why don't we* just get back to bed, ok? That's it...there you go, you're doing fine...whoops!...that's OK, it can be cleaned...good...no, that's the bathroom...you already did, remember?...oh, really...well...hmmm...never mind, that can be cleaned too...there you go, now, into bed, all right, pleasant dreams! (Who left those siderails down, anyway...?)

*IMPORTANT NOTE: This is not "we" meaning "you and me", nor is it the "Royal We", meaning I. It's the "Nursing We", meaning You. I don't want any of you preverts to get any funny ideas.

Aloha,
Mark

PS: I'll see your pineapple and raise you a Jackfruit.

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Morticia
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:09 AM

Hey, I go lif' one da kine for you,bro, in honour of your birthday...much love.....Mortee

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:25 AM

Happy Birthday, Mark. I have been away from my computer - sorry this is late. And the mental picture of a drunken Micca wearing nothing but the Grail while doing the Hula?????

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:28 AM

I know I'm gonna get whupped upside the head for this....

tune?

Have a happy!

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:08 AM

WHUP! WHUP!

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: SharonA
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:32 AM

Okay, as long as we're asking questions... how is "da kine" pronounced?

Sharon

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Steve in Idaho
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:44 AM

Just to piss off Spaw and a few others -

Happiest of Days to you Mark - And it was GREAT hearing you in the Snug yesterday!!!!

Steve

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:11 PM

May your life be filled with Palm trees and open tunings!

Rick

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Melani
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 12:41 PM

Happy Birthday! Do people really EAT those jackfruit things? Or just stick them in impossible places?

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,jaze
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 01:30 PM

Happy birthday to a fellow Philly boy. I asways enjoy your posts. Stay young. James

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:47 PM

Sure, Mark, I could definitely go for the waterfall and cave thing. But will you still have me now that you know what a space cadet I am? I could give you a few lessons on how to shamelessly fish for birthday greetings. I seem to be getting pretty good at it, myself.

I love that word... plumeria... I could say it all day...

plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil, plumeria massage oil...

Ah, yes... the magic of the islands...

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 04:53 PM

Carol, maybe you should consider changing the name of your safety to your plumeria. I like that and it has a nice sound and look about it....and as I said before, I never heard anuone refer to it as a safety before. But plumeria? Ah now....THAT has class! Yeah...."Her plumeria was sweet." Man, I'm getting off on this one................plumeria................

Spaw

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 05:22 PM

Tune is on the way to you as a NWC file, MMario! I performed it--with a backup chorus!--at the Christmas party for the 4 doctors who work in this office building. (It was the debut of my new Martin guitar.) I'll leave it to your expertise as to how to make it available to others.

Carol, honey, all is forgiven! But I'm just worried that when the airport security folks see that Hohner of yours on the X-ray screen, they might arrest you! [Let's see what 'Spaw does with that one...]

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 06:07 PM

SharonA--it's pronounced exactly as it's spelled, with the emphasis on "kine". Literally, "the kind", it's basically a catchall word for whatever you can't think of at the moment, or don't want to specify. There are other uses, too, but you'd need a linguist to explain them. Morticia got it precisely right...not surprisingly!

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:49 PM

Security Guy: "What the hell is THAT?"
Carol: "It's my Hohner."
Security Guy: "Your Hohner? What's a Hohner?"
Carol: "It's a squeezable organ."
Security Guy: "I got a squeezable organ right here lady, but it don't look nothin' like that!"

Say, did you all here about the Congressional type guy who had the hip replacement and they made him drop his pants at Washington National? No joke!!! He set the metal detector off.....The guy was really pissed!

Seriously, I've now got a registration card for the St. Jude's valve and a cardiologist's letter explaining that I have both staples in my sternum and a metallic valve that ticks inside my chest. After the goofball with the exploding Keds, I could just see the mess a ticking chest would cause...and one that sets off a metal detector to boot!

Spaw

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:51 PM

here? geeziz...make that "hear"......pruufreed

Spaw

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 07:53 PM

(btw, Spaw, we'll call it whatever we want to... although I agree with you, plumeria does sound better)

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 09:48 PM

The Good Docter was kind enough to send me a Noteworthy file of the tune. so with his permission it will be being submitted to the DT.

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:26 PM

Only if whoever performs it promises they will do it the same way I did....with a knitted red/green/black cap and long (fake!) dreads. (Available at Spencer Gifts as a combo, shades and ganja not included.)

Aloha,
Mark

PS, Carol, thanks for the picture of your, uh, "head". Sure made a nice birthday card!

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:41 PM

OK, OK, that was a little too cryptic. Actually it was a photo that included an outhouse. Really! No, I don't know why... Damn, people don't believe you even when you're telling the truth, do they? All right, then, have it your way, and think whatever you want....

Seriously, this thread is one of the best (and longest!) birthday parties I've ever had. Thanks for starting it rolling downhill, Sorch!

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 10:46 PM

Much like Cletus and Paw's porta-potty business that bellied up when their main unit rolled off while they were dumping it. Alway thought they knew that shit went downhill, but I guess I was wrong.

Spaw

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 14 Jan 02 - 11:47 PM

From one islander to another..Happy Birthday!

LL

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: DougR
Date: 15 Jan 02 - 12:30 AM

Happy B-day Mark.

DougR

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 15 Jan 02 - 01:53 AM

Thanks, Doug! You've just helped extend my birthday over 4 days! Either that, or I'm now 51. "This is a day that never ends...." (Oops! sorry, I do like to make these BS theads musical, but bringing Lamb Chop into it is NOT the way to do it.)

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Jan 02 - 02:05 AM

Spaw: "Hey Mark, I hear it's your birthday. Get fucked."
Dr. Mark: "You are just jealous cuz you heard that Carol is going to let me Hone 'er plumeria. I think before I do, though I better stop and pickup some plumeria oil. Otherwise it is impossible to get a good edge on it. And afterall, I do have Carol's safety on my mind..........and with any luck, on my".........far enough, Mick...........LOL

Now, Mark, for a very important technical question. In your professional opinion, which is the healthier to put in the back of ones thong, a jack fruit or a spud?

Oh...........yeah.........Happy Birthday.

Mick

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 15 Jan 02 - 05:40 AM

De gustibus non est disputandum, Mick.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,micca at work
Date: 15 Jan 02 - 07:26 AM

Mark, should that be "de minimus non curat lex"?

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jan 02 - 01:00 AM

.

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: GUEST,jbailes
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 11:58 AM

dr. cohen - did you by any chance grow up in wheaton maryland?

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: CarolC
Date: 31 Jan 02 - 06:09 PM

I don't know if Mark did or not, GUEST jbailes, but I did. Wouldn't it be a hoot if he did too, and we all know each other?

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 04:33 AM

Nope. I'm a Philly boy. I have heard of Maryland, though.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: TOTAL BS! DR. MARK HAS BIRTHDAY!
From: Deckman
Date: 02 Feb 02 - 03:03 AM

Like they say Mark ... ORDURE EVENTUATES! Cheers, Bob