BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!

Subject: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 07:56 PM

Let's face it, those damn dogs are worthless to the American people! We need George to have pets that know what to do when their owner collapses into a dead faint!!! I suggest we all chip in (except Doug of course and some of the Loopy types) and get George some pets that will make us happy.......I think these lizards are available now and they seem to have the "right stuff!"

Pet Lizards Eat Man
From AP
18jan02

DOVER, Delaware: Several flesh-eating pet lizards were found feasting on the corpse of their owner in his US apartment, police have said.

Police were called to Ronald Huff's apartment in Newark, Delaware, after a relative became worried because Huff failed to show up for work, investigators said.

Officers found Huff's body on the floor, with his pet Nile monitor lizards feeding on his flesh. The state medical examiner is investigating the cause of death.

Huff, 42, had last been seen on Sunday, New Castle County police said.

Workers with the Delaware Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals recovered seven lizards, the largest over 1.8 metres long and weighing 11.34 kg.

"They're alive and well," said SPCA director John Caldwell. He added that one of the reptiles recovered was acting aggressively, "actually going toward you, mouth open".

Caldwell said the lizards have small but very sharp teeth and muscular, whip-like tails that can seriously injure a person. In the wild, they eat eggs, birds and other animals, he said.

"In captivity, we feed them raw chicken and liver. You can also feed them hard-boiled eggs," he said.

The lizards are considered exotic pets in Delaware and cannot be acquired without a permit from the state Department of Agriculture.

State veterinarian Dr HW Towers said the department stopped issuing such permits for New Castle County residents in 1997 after the county passed an ordinance to stop the proliferation of exotic pets.

Okay Gang---Cough up some bucks to send these lizards to George!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: GUEST,BigDaddy
Date: 17 Jan 02 - 11:46 PM

I once knew a gal with a dachshund named "Pretzel."

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 02:37 AM

LMAO!! Unbelievable! I'm sending you some clams right now, Spaw!

A dog named Pretzel!? Was he one of those special Contortionist Dachshunds? *bg*

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: Hrothgar
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 04:56 AM

Can pretzels be kept as pets?

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 07:18 AM

So Big Daddy, you'd be like suggesting what? That Dubya' eat a Dachshund? Geeziz man, that's really perverse.....and I thought I was a sick fuck with the lizards. Ya know, you really got a warped groove.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 09:15 AM

Now, Texans have a reputation for liking things big, so I'm thinking that those Delaware lizards would be too puny for Dubbya. How's about we get him a Komodo dragon? Now there's a big lizard with a big appetite for humans.

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 11:09 AM

I saw that monitor lizard story - I'm waiting for confirmation that they killed him first, rather than he died of a heart attack and they ate the body. THEN we can send some to Dubya. I don't think they'd be fast enough if he just fainted... Meanwhile how about a 40-ft anaconda, the kind that can eat a whole warthog or something? To sleep at the foot of his bed?

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 11:41 AM

I must have a strange sense of humor...I visualize a parrot that says things like..."Awwrrkk...Resident Bush". and "Enron, Enron"

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: DougR
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 01:30 PM

Wouldn't it be more productive to promote donations to the Mudcat, my friends?

George can get his own lizard if he wants one. *G*

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 01:40 PM

No Doug....You always promote the Green Party as a "Public Service" so I'd like to promote this for the same reason....A public service...and we'll send several dozen to Cheney too.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 02:02 PM

Here's a page with a picture of Nile monitor lizards: Honolulu Zoo: Monitor Lizards

Subject: RE: BS: Let's Buy Dubya Some New Pets!!!!!!!
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 02:06 PM

But I still say: if you're gonna do it, do it right and get him a Komodo Dragon !!!