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Song Challenge! - Part 80

katlaughing 18 Jan 02 - 05:49 PM
Matthew Edwards 18 Jan 02 - 06:27 PM
Amos 18 Jan 02 - 09:33 PM
katlaughing 18 Jan 02 - 10:10 PM
Genie 19 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM
Nerd 19 Jan 02 - 11:55 PM
katlaughing 20 Jan 02 - 12:22 AM
Aidan Crossey 20 Jan 02 - 05:46 PM
mousethief 21 Jan 02 - 01:36 PM
Aidan Crossey 22 Jan 02 - 10:37 AM
Amos 22 Jan 02 - 04:27 PM
McGrath of Harlow 22 Jan 02 - 04:45 PM
Genie 22 Jan 02 - 04:51 PM
Amos 22 Jan 02 - 08:18 PM
Genie 22 Jan 02 - 09:20 PM
GUEST,Sonja 22 Jan 02 - 09:51 PM
Bo Vandenberg 22 Jan 02 - 10:13 PM
Genie 22 Jan 02 - 11:04 PM
Aidan Crossey 23 Jan 02 - 05:48 AM
Deda 23 Jan 02 - 01:54 PM
Genie 24 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM
Genie 25 Jan 02 - 02:45 AM
Amos 25 Jan 02 - 12:23 PM
Genie 26 Jan 02 - 01:48 PM
GUEST,Hyperabid - long time no see 26 Jan 02 - 07:38 PM
Amos 26 Jan 02 - 07:55 PM
Hyperabid 26 Jan 02 - 08:03 PM
Jack the Sailor 27 Jan 02 - 02:35 AM
Genie 27 Jan 02 - 04:21 AM
GUEST 27 Jan 02 - 04:55 AM
Aidan Crossey 28 Jan 02 - 06:34 AM
Genie 28 Jan 02 - 08:39 PM
Aidan Crossey 29 Jan 02 - 04:04 AM
Aidan Crossey 29 Jan 02 - 05:53 AM
Genie 09 Jun 02 - 04:05 AM
Áine 09 Jun 02 - 01:43 PM
Genie 09 Jun 02 - 02:56 PM
Áine 13 Jun 02 - 03:26 PM
MMario 13 Jun 02 - 03:32 PM
GUEST,Jack the Sailor 13 Jun 02 - 05:03 PM
GUEST,Sonja 18 Jun 02 - 01:44 PM
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Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 05:49 PM

From the GG, posted by her "fill-in!" Oh, boy! See what you can do with THIS one!!*BG*

BRIT FLITS NIX KNICKS!

London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators.

Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit.

Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma.

"If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said.

She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters."

A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design.

"Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.

THAT'S IT!! Go to it you Challengers!! Make her proud!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 06:27 PM

Before derrymacash gets here with words for Queen of the Rushes here are some words to the tune of that old favourite She'll be coming round the mountain.
Please, anybody, feel free to add more verses.

She'll be wearing skimpy knickers when she runs,
As she races round the track she'll flash her buns.
When she runs in skimpy knickers,
She has to place her number stickers
To cover her when she bends to the starters guns.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 09:33 PM

Those Olympic Knickers

(Tune: The Old Oaken Bucket)
Click for MP3

How oft to my mind spring those Olympic runners
When fond recollection presents them to view
The ones that rode high, the naturalist sunners
The ones with the tan lines, in knickers so blue!

I was only a bachelor, a single so lonesome
I went to the races to ease my poor mind
I thought I'd go home on the bus on my ownsome
'Til a caught a glimpse of your precious behind!

Chorus:

Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker!

Dear Olympic knickers, too low or too high!

I'll never forget, dear, the view from the bleachers,

'Twas either your cheek-tops, or the top of your thighs!


The roar of the crowd and the race-fever caught me
I knew the Commission would call it "Disgrace!"
But my blood was boiling at the sight of your butt, dear,
And I leapt over the wall, and I ran after the race!!
I came up alongside as you burst through that ribbon!
The twinkling muscles of your bottom stood still,
I asked you while panting, if you would have dinner,
And you squirmed in your knickers, and answered "I will!"
 

Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker!

Dear Olympic knickers, too low or too high!

I'll never forget, dear, the view from the bleachers,

'Twas either your cheek-tops, or the top of your thighs!

Now, I've got to tell you after ten years of marriage,
An unpleasant secret I've had on my mind,
The Racing Committee unoffically told me,
In pursuit of your bottom, I bested your time!
So dear, don't be angry, as softly I tell you,
I hope you'll forgive me after all of this time
I know this is hard, but you might as well face it,
The gold medal you won is unofficially mine!

Those Olympic knickers, they made the crowd snicker!

Dear Olympic knickers, too low or too high!

I'll never forget, dear, the view from the bleachers,

'Twas either your cheek-tops, or the top of your thighs!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Jan 02 - 10:10 PM

Bravo!! Both of you!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM

Well, there's always the old Vaudeville favorite,
"Sam, You Made The Pants Too Short!"
or Rick Nelson's
"Running Bare."

I don't have the words to either one of them to parody, so if someone else wants to do it, I'd love to see what you come up with.

Genie

Matt, short 'n' sweet, like the knickers!

Amos, that's a lovely tail ... er, tale!

Genie


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Nerd
Date: 19 Jan 02 - 11:55 PM

Oh, Why Can't I Run like other girls do?
How the hell can I run when my buns are in view?

cho: Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray
Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play.

Oh, I like my tailor, but he's gotten too bold
So my buns or my hips must hang out in the cold.

Well, winter has come and I'm out by the trackside
Without insulation for my perky backside

Oh, I love my fans and my fans love me,
But I don't want my arse to be on T.V.!

I can't find last year's 'cause that's too long ago
So I'll run with my boxers protruding below.

Oh why didn't I save up my pants from last year?
Well if I had conserved 'em, I wouldn't be here
Singin' Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray
Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play.

And poor Kathy Butler will run the 5 K
In hipsters, just so she will not have to say
Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray
Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play.

I went to the track and bent down for the gun
And the starter said "lady, that's a pretty left bun"

When next year comes round, I hope to report
We won't nix our nickers for being too short
Hallelujah! It's my bum, Hallelujah, hips hooray
Hallelujah! Give us new knickers or we won't play.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 12:22 AM

Whoo-Hoo, Nerd!! Good one. Keep 'em coming, folks. We want her to plenty of good laughs when she gets back here!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 20 Jan 02 - 05:46 PM

I don't think you're going to be getting 20+ entries from me this go-round.  But you're welcome to whatever emerges!  This is a skit on one of Percy French's better known songs ...

Oh Mary this racin's a wonderful sight
These lassies wear gear that is ever so tight
Whenever they're out for a run roun' the track
Their runnin' shorts near disappear up their crack
The 400 metres, the sprint or the mile
I don't watch the race, I'm transfixed by the style
Of those lycra-clad lassies I watch on TV
From the place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea

They strain at the blocks with their arse in the air
And I can't tear my eyes of their taut derrieres
The local girls' hips are all tweedy and wide
Not like those young athletes' slender backsides
I got satellite now and I neave l'ave home
I've no rayson to wander, no rayson to roam
They beam in those young honeys from morning till eve
To the place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea

Oh by Jesus above I'm very impressed
With the way those athletic young ladies are dressed
And me an oul' lech with a wanderin' eye
With a taste for a quick flash of rump or of thigh
It's better than Playboy or one of those mags
Where the hussies strip off and then striddle their legs
It's a cause for confession, oh Mary mo chroi
In this place where the dark Mournes sweep down to the sea


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: mousethief
Date: 21 Jan 02 - 01:36 PM

Bare-bottomed Girls
(tune: Queen's Fat-bottomed Girls)

I'm a dirty old man
And I'll look at what I can
So I went down to the women's track meet
Now those ladies were not wimpy
But their running shorts were skimpy
I was shocked at what the audience could see

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

I'm not one to laugh and snicker
At a lady in her knickers
But these running shorts were very hard to see
And there's nothing could be sweeter
Than the ladies' 100 meter
When that woman flashed a vertical smile at me

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Hey listen here
Now I'm getting kind of old
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
When they show the ladies' track meet on TV

Oh, when they got down on their marks
Oh, my pacemaker shot out sparks
Oh, when they ran I cheered and cheered
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Bare-bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Get on the track and run!

Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 10:37 AM

Another parody of a Percy French song .... this time of "Come Back Paddy Reilly ..."

THOSE ATHLETIC LASSIES THAT RACE IN THE BUFF

The garden of Eden is vanished they say
The birthpace of Adam and Eve
But me, I found heaven, last Wednesday
On a sports show on my oul' TV
There were girls on the screen and their costumes were mean
They were flashing their midriffs and thighs
Those athetic lassies that race in the buff
Have got me subscribing to Sky

I used to like Baywatch and exercise shows
But now I'm convinced that they're tame
Ever since I've discovered the athletic meets
I can't wait for the Olympic Games
I'll have me a spree of one-handed TV
The hours they will fairly whizz by
Those athetic lassies that race in the buff
Have got me subscribing to Sky


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 04:27 PM

LOL!! What a sad fate for such a classic!! LOL!!

Nicely turned, Derry!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 04:45 PM

Now the right tune for this kind of contretemps would be the London Derriere.

And having said that I found that someone had already written that one.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 04:51 PM

Pants-Down Racers
Words: Genie
Tune: Camptown races

Pants-down racers flash their hips
Doo-dah doo-dah
Guys in the crowd got smiles on their lips,
Oh de doo dah day

Briefs too brief make it hard to run
Doo-dah doo-dah
Pull 'em up and ya flash yer buns
Oh, de-doo-dah day

        Gonna run so fast,
        Don't need no half-bare ass.
        Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
        Somebody get 'em today.

Twenty-five laps is far too long
Doo-dah, doo-dah
When your shorts ride up like a *@!*ing thong!
Oh, de-doo-dah day

        Don't want no buns in sight,
        Don't want no buns display;
        Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
        Somebody get 'em today.

Last year's knickers they did the job,
Doo-dah doo-dah,
Didn't flash my crack like a hard-hat slob,
Oh, de-doo-dah day!

This year's knickers bare too much skin,
Doo-dah doo-dah,
For those cold Canadian winds,
Oh, de-doo-dah day!

        Don't want no buns in sight,
        Don't want no bum display;
        Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
        Somebody get 'em today.

Too-short knickers, they make me edgy,
Doo-dah doo-dah,
Try to cover my hips, gotta run with a wedgie!
Oh, de-doo-dah day!

        Don't wanna run up-tight,
        Don't want no bum display;
        Need new knickers for a hide-tail run
        Somebody get 'em today.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 08:18 PM

Cracking up, Genie...um...so to speak. :>)

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 09:20 PM

Well, tanks, Amos! I'm sure Áine will 'crack up,' too, when she reads (sings) your lovely ballad, as well as Matt's, Nerd's, Derrymacash's* (So, what else is new?), Mousethief's, and again Derrymasch's (the ol' "one-handed TV," eh?).

I hope our Gaelic Goddess doesn't thrown her back out again laughing when she reads this thread!

Genie

*Even though ye've profaned my favorite Irish song!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 09:51 PM

Must Our Assets Be Uncovered?
Words:  Sonja W. Oates
Tune:  (3 guesses)

Chorus:
       Must our assets be uncovered
       When we run, Lord, when we run?
       There's a better kind of knickers
       For our hips and for our buns.

I was racin 5000 meters
For the glory of the Queen,
But my father there in the bleachers
Saw what no dad should be seein'.

Chorus

I don't wanta knock the Committee,
Don't wanta be a lousy sport,
But these new Olympic knickers
They are just a tad too short.

If they hide your buns down under
So you're covered from the back,
Then they turn into low riders
So you flash the crowd your crack.

Chorus

Twenty-five laps are too many
When your drawers ride up your thigh!
Guys, your "jock itch" can't hold a candle
To the stress of knickers ridin' high!

Chorus

Guess I'll dig out last year's knickers,
Though they're patched and torn, it's true.
'Cause these new ones just don't cover
Me new Union Jack tattoo!

Chorus

I was hopin' for endorsements
From Adidas and L.A. Gear,
But all I get is bids from Hustler,
From my now world-famous rear!
 

Chorus

(Hurry back to us and to health, Áine!)
 

Sonja


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Bo Vandenberg
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 10:13 PM

All sorts of beginnings but I just cant make enough of a story out of it.

Lots of Titles:

They're off with a flash! Kathy not showing my Butler Coming Up behind in the short stretch Running up the middle

Even some hope for:

Red is the Rose

Red is the rose as around the track she goes (And there's a line about 'lilly of the valley' that I wont touch)

But I think something about our atheletes being treated like sex symbols might be more generous.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 22 Jan 02 - 11:04 PM

Run, Kathy, Run
Parody Lyrics:  Genie
Tune:  Run, Molly, Run

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run!
Flash your athlete's seat there,
Bright in the noonday sun.
Bright in the noonday sun, oh lordy, bright in the noonday sun.

Kathy was the youngest runner on the British team.
The Committee, they were old gray men who could only dream,
Oh, Lordy, who could only dream.

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run!
Flash your athlete's seat there,
Bright in the noonday sun.
Bright in the noonday sun, oh lordy, bright in the noonday sun.

Kathy said to to the old men, "Don't take me for a tart.
These knickers show my rear-end tail--You cut 'em way too short
(Yeah!) You cut 'em way too short!"

"Long Johns would be better, oh, Lord, at least I would be clad.
"Last time that I raced, y' old farts, I shocked me dear old dad.
Yeah, I shocked me dear old dad!"

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run!
Flash your athlete's seat there,
Bright in the noonday sun.
Bright in the noonday sun, oh lordy, bright in the noonday sun.

John Bull said to Kathy, "You're runnin' for the Queen,
And when you round that corner, gal, your form, it should be seen.
Oh, yes, your form, it should be seen!"

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run!
Flash your athlete's seat there,
Bright in the noonday sun.
Bright in the noonday sun, oh lordy, bright in the noonday sun.

See them crouchin' on the track for the man to shoot that gun.
Long Johns they ain't wearin', Lord, they're showin' hips or buns, Yeah,
They're showin' hips or buns!

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run! 
Flash your athlete's seat there,
Bright in the noonday sun.
Bright in the noonday sun, oh lordy, bright in the noonday sun.

John Bull's beatin' Uncle Sam.   Wait, what do I see?
Kathy's stopped to fix her shorts, so tight they made her pee,
Oh, Lord!  So tight they made her pee!

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run!
Forget your ass,
Keep runnin', lass!
Come on, baby, come!

So, John Bull said to Molly, " I give!  OK?  You win!
You can wear the knickers from last year
To save your fair young skin, oh, Lord,
To save your fair young skin.

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run!
We'd rather you win
Than show more skin!
So you can hide your bum!
Come, on, baby, come!

Run Kathy, run!
Run Kathy, run!
Cover your ass,
Keep runnin' fast!
Come on, baby, come!
Come, on, baby, come!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 05:48 AM

Another skit on a Percy French number ... this time on "Sweet Marie"

All eyes are on me girl Sweet Marie
When she runs she's damn near bare Sweet Marie
The costume that she wears
Rides up her derriere
And her top reveals her pair Sweet Marie

CHORUS
Houl' yer hoult Sweet Marie
Don't you boult Sweet Marie
Or you'll never win your first Olympic gold
Every lecher with a telly
Is focussed on your belly
As you give it lots of welly Sweet Marie

Her brassiere used to separate and lift
Now her running pants are creeping up her rift She hears the starting gong
And she's thundering along
And her pants become a thong Sweet Marie

CHORUS

I ask if she'd run naked just for me
She blushes and she whispers "Wait and see"
Says I "Don't be a prude
It would do my poor heart good
If you hurdled in the nude Sweet Marie"


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Deda
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 01:54 PM

Dear all,

My work load is heavy enough that I barely have time to read this thread, can't really contribute -- except my appreciation! Thought I'd try to do one called "Let it show, let it show, let it show" but time doesn't permit. These are a lot of fun to scan over, hastily. You guys are all just a riot.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM

Well, I know everyone's busy, but our dear bestower of B.L.O.B.s and cow chips needs something to get her out of her bed and back to her usual good form. How about some more poetic offerings for her to digest when she gets back, eh?

Genie


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 02:45 AM

Since Genie is logged in at the computer right now, I'll post this using her cookie, rather than make her log out first.
Sonja

Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans
Words: Sonja W. Oates
tune: City Of New Orleans


Ridin' up my backside in the back stretch,
Brand new knickers showin' half my tail.
Shift like thongs, shifting to low-riders
Seat constrictors (25 laps of hell!).

All around th' Olympic track, you see,
My tail sticks out in Calgary,
Racin' on past bleachers full of fans,
Passin' chicks that have no shame,
Shakin' their goods at all the men,
And the referees are watchin' our buts and cans.

Good grief! You lewd old men, how dare ya?
Why'd ya make me show of half me bum
When I'm goin' for gold in these Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans
And I'm doin' 5000 metres in the noonday sun?

Revealin' knickers from the old men in the board room--
Fanny a-flashin', buns a-chafin' sore.
Pass the Russian hag that runs full throttle;
Go for gold, show 'em what legs are for!
And the sons of bitches up there, buns in view, they leer,
While their fathers' granny glasses fog with steam.
Others think we babes are cheap, joggin' in the noonday heat,
And the schizm of our tails is all their dreams.

Good grief! You lewd old men, how dare ya?
Why'd ya make me show of half me bum
When I'm goin' for gold in these Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans
And I'm doin' 5000 metres in the noonday sun?

Right now in these Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans
Chafin' crotch is givin' me the creeps!
Halfway home and I'm half bare and squirming
Through the knickers-ripping race, just cursin' these *!@!ing briefs!
But as the howls and huzzah!s seem
To fade into a bad dream,
We speedy maids fin'lly hear the news.
The Committee says, "You poor, sweet dears,
"Next time, you can wear last year's."
We gals got the dissappearin' knickers blues.

"All right, dear Kathy, we will spare ya!
Don't ya know we'd rather see you run.
You don't have to wear the Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans
When you run 5000 meters in the noonday sun!"


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 12:23 PM

Nicely done indeed, Genie!! LOL!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 01:48 PM

Bottom-Baring Briefs Overflowing
(Words: Genie; Tune: Loch Lomond)

My young bonnie flanks
and my young buns ablaze
As the sun shines bright on our runnin',
Well, me and my teammates, we really want the gold
But our bottom-baring briefs are disgruntling!

Chorus:
Oh some get the high view and some get the low view
And near beaver shots they afford you,
But me and my teammates will never meet our ends
In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing.

Our butt cheeks are parted by bun-chafing pants
And the cheap-seat oglers are drooling.
While we circle true our "hieland hills" they view
And the 'moon's' comin' out when we're rolling!

Chorus:
Oh some get the high view and some get the low view
And near beaver shots they afford you,
But me and my teammates will never meet our ends
In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing.

The young ladies plead and the UKA takes heed,
"You can wear last year's knickers for this oddyssey;
It's a championship stint where seconds cost the win
And the runner must not falter out of modesty."

Chorus:
Oh some got the high view and some got the low view,
But no more our butts we'll be showin',
No, me and my teammates run no more meets again
In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: GUEST,Hyperabid - long time no see
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 07:38 PM

Just a brief rejoinder
From a long time ex member
Aine, Amos, Mbo you'll remember

To no real tune I guess as this is to be set
To "Sunscreen" by Baz Luhrmann

Children of the class of 2002
"Always wear knickers"
Be proud of your tight butt
Because in later years few will remember what you had then
… and many will laugh at what you have now
Remember that your fans are divided into equal thirds
Those who are proud of and thrilled by your prowess
Couch potatoes who watch sports because they are afraid of the sunlight
… and those who find female sports titillating but are afraid to buy even a lingerie catalogue
Be aware that sad people existed before you
They also exist around you
And they certainly will exist after you
Perhaps more humbling is the fact that they would and could exist without you
Enjoy the Power of your Prime
Because if an Englishman like me can weep tears of mixed joy and pain
When Mohammed Ali lights the Olympic flame
He who knocked "our Henry" Cooper down again
You'll miss it when it's gone
Remember that even though Sir Steve Redgrave won 5 consecutive Olympic golds in an endurance sport
Matthew Pinsent might have helped a bit
Focus your mind on winning

(This next less humorous bit to be mumbled quickly as it always is in our history text books)

Like Jessie Owens did in Munich
A black man in front of Hitler
And don't remember our war as you run harder
Try a 6 million Jews – was that in Germany alone?
Or 30 million Russians defending their home?

(The loud finale)

So next time your knickers might ride up your crack
Just run for the line
… and give the team pants some slack.

Hyper

Bye all


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 07:55 PM

Hey, Hyoer!! Wait!!!

Don't be such an effin' stranger next time, all right???

Miss your buns around here....you, who alwaysd ran for the Gold.

A.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Hyperabid
Date: 26 Jan 02 - 08:03 PM

Well still here Amos just had a life changing time over the last 2 years can't wait to tell

Hyp


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 02:35 AM

Short Shorts ROYAL TEENS

Man, dig that crazy chick

This is as many words as there are in the original. Since the artist is "The Royal Teens" this one is doubly appropriate. It may take some looking to see what I have changed. Of course Imagine it being sung by a group of women with English accents.

Short Shorts

Who wears short shorts?

For their sport sports

They're such short shorts

We don't like short shorts

For our sport sports

But we wear short shorts


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 04:21 AM

Well, here's one I ain't gonna do, since I don't know many of the words to the original song, but somebody really should do:

"Running Track Flash, It's just ass, ass, ass!"

(Apologies to Mick Jagger, of course!)

Genie

§;-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 04:55 AM

There's a cold wind blowing and the sun is shining There's a cold wind blowing on a shining hiney

She's the best As you may guess See her boldly bare her bottom to the rest

She reported that her trousers fail the test Cause there's a cold wind blowing on a shining hiney


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 06:34 AM

I couldn't resist a parody of George Jone's "The Race Is On" – a deviation from my usual preoccupation with parodying songs from the Irish canon. (Do these parodies only work if you know the original?)

I feel tears welling up from down deep inside
My reputation's at stake
There's a wedge of cotton and it's irritating
The tailfeather that I shake
You might think that I'm taking it hard
These shorts creepin' 'tween my cheeks
But the loneliness of the long distance runner
Chokes me up so I can't speak

CHORUS
Now the race is on and my knickers ride up the back stretch
Lycra runners a goin' to the inside
My tears are holding back, trying not to fall
This friction – I ain't funning – makes me scratch and ache
The race is on and it looks like arseache
And the winner loses all

One day I ventured to run never once suspecting
What the final result would be
Now I live in fear of those skimpy kecks
That have been the ruin of me
There's an aching pain in my arse and I blame
The costume I'm forced to wear
Cos it's up my crack as I run round the track
And it chafes my derriere

CHORUS




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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 08:39 PM

Great, Derry! Wish I'd a thunk of that 'un!

Genie


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 04:04 AM

Genie ...

Many thanks ... it's an obvious one when it occurs ... but all these things are at the end of the day!

... Aidan


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 29 Jan 02 - 05:53 AM

Another flight of fancy. This wee song's a parody of "Muirsheen Durkin".

In the days I used to hurdle
Wearing corsetry and girdles
I found them such a burden
I longed for lighter wear
Now I'm dressed less heavily
I stride along more cleverly
In second place I'll never be
Around the track I'll tear

CHORUS So it's fare thee well big knickers
I'm wearing something slicker
I'm running vastly quicker
I'm like a streak of light
I lead the field in every race
The sprint, the lope, the steeplechase
And on my way you get a taste
Of my charms and my delights

I've hurdled in Killarney
And I've triple-jumped in Blarney
And down near Lisdoonvarney
I've vaulted with a pole
Where someone shouted "Daughter dear
I'm getting a quare view from here
You're dressed up in such skimpy gear
I can nearly see your hole"

CHORUS

I've putted shot near oul' Tralee
I've run a mile in famed Ardee
And in Croke Park quite recently
I hurled a quare long puck
For my garb I have been criticised
For flashing tits and showing thighs
But I just counter "In me eye!
Away to hell and ... flip!"

CHORUS


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jun 02 - 04:05 AM

Áine, ya feel like taking a crack* at awarding belated B.L.O.B.s and Cow Chips for this one, now that you're back amongst the living? We Challenge!rs always await like little vulture hatchlings, mouths agape, for the nourshing kudos you so graciously disperse to us!

Genie

*Naturally, no pun intended.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Áine
Date: 09 Jun 02 - 01:43 PM

Dear, sweet, patient Genie -- Darlin', I'm still in recovery from back surgery. It took me a week to get Part 79 done; albeit there were 41 songs to find, copy, format, read through, correct and/or edit, award chips to, validate html code, upload and proof online. That required a lot of time sitting at the computer, and frankly, it hurt.

So, I'll be starting on Part 80 later this week, OK? ;-) But, don't worry, all the Challenge!rs' entries will eventually be put into the Songbook, and that's a promise. I just have to be very careful, and do a little at a time.

All the best (and keep playing, singing, and writing!), Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jun 02 - 02:56 PM

Dearest Áine,
Sorry if I sounded impatient. I do know how long you've been struggling to recover from that awful back injury and how much you've been working to catch up. Don't worry about responding to Part 80 this week. Take your time.
I only posted the note because I wasn't sure you considered Part 80 your turf, since it was an interim Challenge! posted on your behalf by Kat. I just wanted you to know, in case there was ever any doubt, that we posters are addicted to your pearls [B.L.O.B.s and Chow Chips] of approbation.

The most important thing is for you to take care of yourself, luv!

Genie


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: Áine
Date: 13 Jun 02 - 03:26 PM

Alrightey then, here they are, your long awaited and more than deserved Cow Chip Awards for this Challenge! Sorry it took so long -- but them's the breaks (ouch! I can't believe I said that - hahaha). Thanks and cudos to all you wunnerful, wunnerful, Challenge!rs!! ;-)

-- Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):

Brief Screen by Hyperabid
Fare Thee Well Big Knickers by derrymacash

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

Bare-bottomed Girls by mousethief
Bottom-Baring Briefs Overflowing by Genie
This Racin's A Wonderful Sight by derrymacash
Those Athletic Lassies That Race In The Buff by derrymacash Why Can't I Run Like The Other Girls Do by Nerd

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

Pants-Down Racers by Genie
Skimpy Knicker Short Jeans by Sonja
Sweet Marie by derrymacash

Winners Of The Golden Cow Chip Award With Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen):

Must Our Assets Be Uncovered? by Sonja
Run, Kathy, Run by Genie

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration (The Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration is awarded for the best cow chip chunking Country version of a song in a Challenge!):

The Race Is On by derrymacash

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song):

Those Olympic Knickers by Amos


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jun 02 - 03:32 PM

Huzzah!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Jun 02 - 05:03 PM

Áine,

I admire your integrity in not awarding my Short Shorts song any kind of animal dung. While I thought the idea to be funny, It is apparently not Dung worthy and so remains fecesless.

Of course this also makes the prizes of those whose songs won dung all the sweeter.

Missing the dung (perhaps full of it as well)

Jack ;)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 80
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 18 Jun 02 - 01:44 PM

Thanks so much for the Cow Chips, oh Gaelic Goddess! Glad to have you back amongst us!

~SWO~


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