Lyr Req: A Caster Up of Alabaster Plaster (JWarner

Subject: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: Sooz
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 08:44 AM

This is a long shot, but the Mudcat hasn't failed me before! A friend of mine is looking for a monologue called the Alabaster Plaster Caster which he thinks is by Jack Warner (Dixon of Dock Green for those old enough to remember). Can anyone help?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 12:13 PM

Sorry Sooz, no help here, but that recalled the 60's and it took a minute to sink in and then it hit me!! Thanks for the weird memories!!

Cynthia Plaster Caster, Molder of Rock Stars

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: Sooz
Date: 27 Jan 02 - 12:39 PM

Happy to oblige! Dixon of Dock Green actually goes back to 1955 does that disturb you even more Spaw?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: GUEST,Sooz(at work)
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 04:52 AM

Come on guys, someone must know!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: Wyrd Sister
Date: 28 Jan 02 - 02:23 PM

The last time I heard this was in 1966. Sorry I can't remember much, if any. The only bit that stuck was (I think) there was much play on the rhyme, culminating in "The Alabaster Plaster Caster's Bastard". Don't even know if it was the real version or a spoof!

Subject: Lyr Add: A CASTER UP OF ALABASTER PLASTER (Warner
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 13 Mar 02 - 07:54 PM

Someone somewhere did know.
This was obtained from Paul Wilkinson's "Make 'Em Laugh" site Click here a great site for music hall monologues and songs

A CASTER UP OF ALABASTER PLASTER

by Jack Warner

Now there's a plaster molders yard about a mile from here
Where my old Uncle Teddy has a job that may sound queer
It really is quite different to what other people do
But it really is a clever job, I'm not kidding you.

'Cos 'e's a caster up of alabaster plaster
He's an alabaster plaster caster, see
And 'e doesn't mix with water common powder into mortar
For an alabaster plasterer is 'e.

Now if 'e were merely mixing for cementing
'E would stir it in a mixer, as of old
But to prove he's caster master, casts 'is plaster alabaster
In an alabaster plaster caster's mold.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: Sooz
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 12:25 PM

Many thanks, Kenny B. It wasn't on monologues.co.uk when I looked it must be a new addition. Unfortunately it isn't complete! There should be about 5 minutes worth.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: GUEST,Paul (Make 'Em Laugh)
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 01:16 PM

I feel I need to defend my 'onour, Sooz... The above version of 'A Caster of Alabaster Plaster' is actually complete... But comes from a routine performed by Jack Warner which included several 'funny occupations' e.g. 'Bunger Up o' Rat 'oles', 'A Fumper and Flattener of Fevvers' and 'The Turkish Bath Attendant'. Each was introduced with a few lines of chat and would, as you state, run to about five minutes. I shall be adding 'The Turkish Bath Attendant' to my site soon.

Paul.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: Mac Tattie
Date: 14 Mar 02 - 01:51 PM

Guest Paul ommited the address of his superiour web site which should be on everyone's favorites list, www.monologues.co.uk cheers

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: GUEST,Keith Roberts
Date: 15 Oct 17 - 03:17 PM

I seem to remember John Foreman - aka the Broadsheet King -doing this in his act around the folk clubs in the 1970s

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Alabaster Plaster Caster
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 15 Oct 17 - 06:21 PM

here's a clicky

http://monologues.co.uk/Jack_Warner/Funny-Occupations-One.htm