Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O'Rourke)

Subject: Lyr Add: CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON (Brian O' Rourke)
From: Mikey joe
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 06:48 AM

From Brian O' Rourke
This is only about a quarter of the song. I'll post the rest when I can or if anyone wants to continue it please do!!
The song is fairly self explanatory but in its entirity goes on for twenty minutes to tell the stpory of poor Johns midlife crisis

****************************************************

One night in a bar I was having a jar
When my destiny it beckoned
When a vision burst in on top of my thirst
And flattened my pint in a second
'Twas a lady fair with short blonde hair
And her beauty would shame all queens
With her glistening lips and her twisting hips
In her slim fitting Levi Jeans


I got off of my stool observed my first rule
I checked my fly and my fainne
And got ready for a story, all glitter and glory
Like Diarmuid agus Grainne
Well my opening line was "Hiya Sunshine
How's it goin? My name is John"
And with a toss of her head this goddess said
"I'm Chantal du Champignon"


"Bedad" says I "You're a thoroughbred
You're no cavewoman from Cavan
You're exotic operatic and very aromatic
So tell us what are you havin?"
From the furrow on her brow I could see just how
She was torn between the short and the long
"I'll have an Irish Coffee and a pint of Murphy's"
Said Chantal du Champignon


She'd been travelling around and as yet she hadn't found
No savages scouting for scalps
She'd scaled the peaks of Kildare and Leix
Which left her homesick for the Alps
She'd seen nearly all of Donegal
She'd learned "Slainte" and "Slan agus Beannacht"
'Till some racial purist who couldn't stand tourists
Told her go to hell or to Connacht


So here she stands with a week on her hands
Before flying back to France
And she'd like to get to know Galway and Mayo
So boys I saw my chance
I said "I'm your man, I've a Hiace van
And I've damn all to do just now
And my five acre farm won't come to any harm
Sure the calf can milk the cow.


Oh to you I'll show Galway and Mayo
My privilege and my pleasure
And for fear you'd grumble, sure I'll do like Cromwell
And throw Clare in for good measure
So to hell with the silage. Lets clock up some mileage
You'll be as safe as with your Daddy"
She said "I like you more than I did before
I'll have a Smithwicks and a Paddy"


So into the van and away we ran
All along the western seaboard
And the notes from her voice were twice as nice
As those from any keyboard.
For example, "Oh John you turn me on,
You completely fill up my senses
And I can see in your eyes all the stars in the skies
Shining out through your contact lenses.


So I pulled up the van and she said, "Oh John
Please don't take it amiss"
I said "That's not you'll find what I had in mind"
Sure all I want to take is a kiss"
Well her eyes shone bright and her teeth gleamed white
And her breath it smelled of garlic
And she tore into my lips like fish and chips
In the shadows of Croagh Patrick


In the county Clare I do declare
We drank many's the tasty beverage
And the intensity of our propensity
Was way above the average
Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher
And she showed me a thing or two too
And in O'Connors of Doolin she said, "I'm not foolin,
I want to spend my life with you.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:21 AM

An abolutely brilliant piece of work, which Brian wrote a good few years ago. Mikey Joe - just keep adding a verse or two and make them wait!

At one stage a few years ago, there was a whole sub-culture around this song. Membership depended on being able to sing the damn thing through - with a lower grade if you could manage a verse. They met twice a year around Ireland. Not sure if it still exists.

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,Guest, Patmike
Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:37 AM

Martin, I was a member of that sub-culture, with the title of "The Mechanic" We met for about three years and had the best of craic. We had about 35 active members, and plans are being made to revive it this Spring. To me it is the best piece of comic writing I ever came across. Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 02 Feb 02 - 07:05 AM

PatMike

Good to hear that. One meeting was hosted by the South Roscommon SIngers CIrcle, in a little village called Brideswell, ouside Athlone. It was a hilarious weekend!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 03:10 PM

More please!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,Mikey joe
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 07:36 AM

Sorry Martin I 've been quite busy the last week or so. I do intend to finish it soon. I've also since realised that some of the verses I've posted above are in the wrong order. I was writing these down out of my head at work. But it will be complete and correct soon I promise. In the meantime if you or anyone else would like to add some verses that'd be great.

Slán

Mikey joe

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,colmbanus
Date: 06 Aug 02 - 09:09 AM

Another verse I seem to remember is this one

So I made a pass at her, via our ambassador
I explained I was besotted
He was very sympathetic, but said something about ethics
And he told me to get knotted
I took a quick look in the French phonebook
It was most unsatisfactory
After all my research, I was still left in the lurch
For her daddy was ex directory

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: patmike
Date: 11 Aug 02 - 02:05 PM

The Club Chantal was revived in Bray, Ireland in May. About 40 people turned up and had a marvellous time. They gathered at about 4.00 p.m. on Saturday, had a few drinks and sang a few songs. Dinner was at 8.00 p.m. during which a meeting of sorts was held with varying degrees of hilarity. the aim of the Club is the promotion of comic songs, and that aim was well furthered that Saturday evening. Guest of honour was Brian O Rourke (author of the song. Other members, guests and friends turned up from Cork, Carlow, Galway, Wicklow, Tipperary etc. and a night of revelry ensued. The Club motto, "To hell with the silage" was readopted and the Club's first lady officer was elected to the post of "Queen of the levi jeans". A new spiritual adviser was appointed as well as a new official mushroom grower to the Club. Those who could make it reassembled on Sunday at Noon, where a few more pints were drunk and a few more songs, of a mellower type were sung. The Club is to reassemble in May 2003 in Macroom, Co. Cork. All will be welcome, and it is good to know that the tradition of comic song writing is still alive and well in Ireland. The words of Chantal du Champignon are available on a tape, with the words of many more of Brians songs. If anyone wants them, I can get Brian to forward them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,colmbanus
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 09:20 AM

I'd love to get a copy of that tape, and the words too, obviously. Just let me know what I have to do and I'll do it.

I had a copy of Chantal back in 92/93, but it was stolen along with my walkman, in O'Neill's of Suffolk St. The walkman I could get over, but no-one could replace my Chantal.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: patmike
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 04:19 PM

If you give me an e-mail address, I can get you a copy of the tape. I think you can send it to me direct without posting it to this thread, patmike

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From:
Date: 20 Jan 04 - 09:16 AM

Hi its amazing I found this site. Can you please forward the lyrics to me if at all possible.

Fantastic lyrics, heard it at a wedding once and nearly wet myself laughing. it was the highlight of the whole bash

Respectfully yours

Bryan Geary

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From:
Date: 31 Jan 04 - 02:32 PM

Hi,
great to find this site. any chance of the entire lyrics getting sent to this address. it'll be a job for the summer to learn it!
thans in advance
john
[e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 29 Nov 04 - 04:51 PM

Found a copy of Brian's words recently, so I'll add some more verses to the thread. We can sort out the order at the end!

So next day we drove by creek and cove,
All along the western seaboard
And the music of her voice was twice as nice
As the notes from any keyboard.
For example: "Oh John, you turn me on
You completely fill up my senses
I can see in your eyes, all the stars of the skies
Shining out through your contact lenses!

.....

Well after such happiness, there was no stopping us
We clocked up hundreds of miles
We spent thousands of hours around round towers
Of various slants and styles
Near passage graves and lakes and caves
And historic and holy places
Near saint and hero, we reduced to zero
The distance between our faces

....

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 02 Dec 04 - 05:02 PM

Then at Poulnabrone, under twenty ton of stone
We drank rainbow-coloured wines
Oh, Inside that dolmen, I thought of King Solomon
He could keep his concubines.
Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher
And she showed me a thing or two too,
And in a pub down in Doolin, she said "I'm not foolin
I want to spend my life with you.

Well the days flew fast and the week soon passed
Between one thing and another
And she'd a plane to catch back to Paris-Match
To see her father and her mother
So we loaded up the van with cheese and ham
And some six packs from the fridge
With a Guinness keg for the final leg
Of our amourous pilgrimage.

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: Wolfgang
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 06:47 AM

I just want to tell that there are people here appreciating each addition, may it only be a verse or two.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 06 Dec 04 - 11:38 AM

Wolfgang

The problem is that the layout makes it difficult to scan with OCR software! The photocopy sits in a basket on my desk, surfaces every so often and then I type some more!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 03:06 PM

In the ruins of Clonfert, we had a little flirt.
I thought I heard Saint Brendan cheerin'.
And we discovered new joys in Clonmacnoise,
Courtesy of Saint Ciaran.
We drew into Dunlavin at twenty-five to seven
And dropped in to see my Uncle Fred,
Then we hit Glendalough around eleven o'clock
And we slept in Saint Keven's bed.

Well, the two of us were yawning as the day was dawning
And it dawned on me - she was going,
So we drove to the smoke where these words she spoke
Before she boarded the Boeing:
"I'll acquaint my parents with what's transpired,
And my paltry possessions I'll pack,
Then I'll return on wings of desire
And up with you I'll shack."

...

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 08 Dec 04 - 04:55 PM

That night I flew through Athlone and Ballinasloe.
I was home in an hour and a half!
And though it was kinda late, I just had to celebrate,
So I killed the fatted calf,
And next day I booked a room for my upcoming honeymoon
Where no-one would be any wiser,
And in raptures and raptures, I published my nuptials
In the Galway Advertiser!

For six days or seven, I thought I was in heaven.
I was trying it out for size,
But like every other lover, I was shortly to discover
'Twas an amadán's paradise,
For while I was thinking that the Kingdom had come,
And was chantin' "Alleluia,"
Chantal was listening to a different drum
And singing, "Johnny, I hardly knew ye!"

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 09 Dec 04 - 05:04 PM

Well, I danced and I sang till the night she rang.
She said, "John, sit down on the sofa,
For I've got some news that will give you the blues.
In a nutshell, Cherie, it's over.
On the plane coming back, I was told for a fact,
By a man who was once your friend,
That you spent two years in the loony bin,
Without marbles, round the bend."

"O Chantal", says I, "You were told a lie,
Although it's neither here nor there.
'Twas seven years I pent in the oxygen tent
With a hole in my ozone layer.
But 'twas want of whoopee that had me loopy,
And sure you sorted out that trouble,
So apply some fire to them wings of desire
And get back here on the double!"

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 10 Dec 04 - 12:27 PM

"Oh, John," said she, "I quite agree
That you could do with a woman,
But if you think I'll be your shrink,
You've got another think coming.
Consider, besides, if I was your bride,
In forty years, I would have no fun,
For I'm no more than twenty-four
And you are forty-one!

"Oh, yes, I know I'll miss your eyes and your kiss
And your fingers running through my hair,
But if I lost my head in St. Kevin's bed,
I got it back in the clear French air!
I got off that jet and my parents I met
And I got my act together.
I saw the line they'd draw at a son-in-law
Who was a middle-aged Irish header."

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 19 Dec 04 - 06:37 PM

"Oh, but as sure as I'm blonde, of you I'm still fond,
And I might even write - we'll see -
And I don't regret and I won't forget
Our petit coin du paradis.
Now, I'm in a little hurry - be happy, don't worry
And think how much you have grown."
And when I opened my face to plead my case,
She put down the frigging phone!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 04:28 AM

Hi There,
You know I've been looking for this for years.
Any ideas on the repeats and order of the verses posted so far?

Cheers

J.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 04:32 AM

I'll sort that out when I get it all done!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 21 Dec 04 - 12:39 PM

Then I staggered to the mirror and confronted with terror
A pathetic poor Paddy of a peasant,
And I made smithereens of her Levi jeans
That she gave me for a wedding present.
Then I made mincemeat of her other little treat -
Two lovely blue pottery goblets -
And I sat down and I wrote a suicide note
And swallowed thirty-five quids' worth of tablets.

A week later I awoke and my heart nearly broke
For I suddenly chanced to remember
I was in a proper mess, for I hadn't her address,
Not to mention her telephone number.
So I took a quick luck in the French phone book -
It was most unsatisfactory.
After all my research, I was still left in the lurch
For her Daddy was ex-directory!

Regards

p.s. Met Brian today, as it happens. He is due to have a book of short stories published next Spring. A man of many parts - even if some need replacing, as he says himself!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 03:40 PM

Well the weeeks went by and there was I
A wreck - by any reckoning
Sure I lost two stone, sitting by the phone
But the silence from France was deafening
Oh my breath I bated, for the post I waited
All day and all night long
But ne'er a letter nor a card came up the yard
From Chantal de Champignon

And then I tried to make a pass at her, via our ambassador
I explained I was besotted
He was very sympathetic, but said something about ethics
And he told me to get knotted
And then I hired a spy, whose fees were high
To assist my search along
Well, he collected his fees but came up with no leads
On Chantal de Champignon

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 11:11 AM

I always loved that line about getting through Athlone and Ballinasloe in an hour and a half. Poetic licence at it's finest

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:01 PM

A true,heartfelt Friday afternoon comment!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 16 Jan 05 - 05:05 PM

Oh, was she down at heel in the town of Lille
Or at large in La Rochelle?
Or letting down her hair in the Follies Bergere
- Belly-dancing her way to hell?
Was she singing the blues, below in Toulouse
Or picking pockets in Perpignan?
And, mein Gott! but what if her name was not
Chantal de Champignon?

Well, I'd lost the scent so gung-o I went
To phone Monsieur Mitterand.
But I couldn't connect with the President
Although I threatened his aide-de-camp.
Then the towel I threw, I resigned, withdrew
Although I had done no wrong.
Oh, I thought I had her taped - but the vixen she escaped
Like Marie de Robinson!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 17 Jan 05 - 02:03 PM

Now, an awful lot of water has been led to the slaughter
Since she led me that merry dance.
And I never took a wife, for I wasted my whole life
Looking out for a letter from France.
Oh, Chantal, Chantal, sure I love you still
Like I did in the time that's gone
Although you're going on eighty four
And I'm tipping a hundred and one.

I've outlived all my mates, and I've lost all my slates
And I'm back in the oxygen tent.
And my ozone holes are scoring own goals
In my pitch-black firmament.
There's more tears in my eyes than stars in the skies
I've lost contact with my lenses.
Ah but I'm sure I could get through a dark night with you
And recover my soul and my senses

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 06:07 PM

So come all you middle-aged Irish nutters
And a warning take by me.
Beware when you go out to get scuttered
In your local hostelry.
Don't be a fool, stay up on your stool
Sit tight and drink yourself stupid
Give your number one to whiskey and rum
And don't waste your vote on Cupid!

Nearly there....

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 09:07 AM

Go, Martin, go!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: colmbanus
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 12:05 PM

Maximum respect Martin

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 21 Jan 05 - 03:51 PM

And if by chance some goddess from France
With luminous short blond hair
Lights up your horizon - stick to your poison
In two simple words - Beware!
Make no overture, give no misguided tour
'Cause Diarmuid agus Grainne went wrong!
And after all your mileage, she'll leave you sitting in your silage
-Like Chantal de Champignon.

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 07:23 AM

Oh now, although you're jarred, please disregard
The advice I gave you just then
Or you'll be stuck in first gear for a hundred years
Like a friggin' old farmyard hen.
For when all is said and done, I once flew near the sun
For one week I was a swan
I was on the wing and I learned to sing
With Chantal de Champignon

Oh, Chantal, Chantal, I hope you're still my pal
And don't think this song a blunder
For I adore far more than I did before
The ground you walk on - or maybe under
Oh don't take a dim view - if I'm laughing at you
What do you think I'm doing to me?
And please God and Saint Kevin, we'l recover in Heaven
Our petit coin du paradis.

Done!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: Wolfgang
Date: 22 Jan 05 - 07:25 AM

Chapeau, Martin.

Wolfgang

Subject: Lyr Add: CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON (Brian O' Rourke)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 07:08 AM

I've been looking for this for ages, thanks for posting it, can i just ask one thing, is the attached the the correct order in which to sing this fine tune

CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON (Brian O' Rourke)

One night in a bar I was having a jar
When my destiny it beckoned
When a vision burst in on top of my thirst
And flattened my pint in a second
'Twas a lady fair with short blonde hair
And her beauty would shame all queens
With her glistening lips and her twisting hips
In her slim fitting Levi Jeans

I got off of my stool observed my first rule
I checked my fly and my fainne
And got ready for a story, all glitter and glory
Like Diarmuid agus Grainne
Well my opening line was "Hiya Sunshine
How's it goin? My name is John"
And with a toss of her head this goddess said
"I'm Chantal du Champignon"

"Bedad" says I "You're a thoroughbred
You're no cavewoman from Cavan
You're exotic operatic and very aromatic
So tell us what are you havin?"
From the furrow on her brow I could see just how
She was torn between the short and the long
"I'll have an Irish Coffee and a pint of Murphy's"
Said Chantal du Champignon

She'd been travelling around and as yet she hadn't found
No savages scouting for scalps
She'd scaled the peaks of Kildare and Leix
Which left her homesick for the Alps
She'd seen nearly all of Donegal
She'd learned "Slainte" and "Slan agus Beannacht"
'Till some racial purist who couldn't stand tourists
Told her go to hell or to Connacht

So here she stands with a week on her hands
Before flying back to France
And she'd like to get to know Galway and Mayo
So boys I saw my chance
I said "I'm your man, I've a Hiace van
And I've damn all to do just now
And my five acre farm won't come to any harm
Sure the calf can milk the cow.

Oh to you I'll show Galway and Mayo
My privilege and my pleasure
And for fear you'd grumble, sure I'll do like Cromwell
And throw Clare in for good measure
So to hell with the silage. Lets clock up some mileage
You'll be as safe as with your Daddy"
She said "I like you more than I did before
I'll have a Smithwicks and a Paddy"

So into the van and away we ran
All along the western seaboard
And the notes from her voice were twice as nice
As those from any keyboard.
For example, "Oh John you turn me on,
You completely fill up my senses
And I can see in your eyes all the stars in the skies
Shining out through your contact lenses.



So I pulled up the van and she said, "Oh John
Please don't take it amiss"
I said "That's not you'll find what I had in mind"
Sure all I want to take is a kiss"
Well her eyes shone bright and her teeth gleamed white
And her breath it smelled of garlic
And she tore into my lips like fish and chips
In the shadows of Croagh Patrick

In the county Clare I do declare
We drank many's the tasty beverage
And the intensity of our propensity
Was way above the average
Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher
And she showed me a thing or two too
And in O'Connors of Doolin she said, "I'm not foolin,
I want to spend my life with you.

So next day we drove by creek and cove,
All along the western seaboard
And the music of her voice was twice as nice
As the notes from any keyboard.
For example: "Oh John, you turn me on
You completely fill up my senses
I can see in your eyes, all the stars of the skies
Shining out through your contact lenses!

Well after such happiness, there was no stopping us
We clocked up hundreds of miles
We spent thousands of hours around round towers
Of various slants and styles
Near passage graves and lakes and caves
And historic and holy places
Near saint and hero, we reduced to zero
The distance between our faces

Then at Poulnabrone, under twenty ton of stone
We drank rainbow-coloured wines
Oh, Inside that dolmen, I thought of King Solomon
He could keep his concubines.
Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher
And she showed me a thing or two too,
And in a pub down in Doolin, she said "I'm not foolin
I want to spend my life with you.

Well the days flew fast and the week soon passed
Between one thing and another
And she'd a plane to catch back to Paris-Match
To see her father and her mother
So we loaded up the van with cheese and ham
And some six packs from the fridge
With a Guinness keg for the final leg
Of our amourous pilgrimage.

In the ruins of Clonfert, we had a little flirt.
I thought I heard Saint Brendan cheerin'.
And we discovered new joys in Clonmacnoise,
Courtesy of Saint Ciaran.
We drew into Dunlavin at twenty-five to seven
And dropped in to see my Uncle Fred,
Then we hit Glendalough around eleven o'clock
And we slept in Saint Keven's bed.



Well, the two of us were yawning as the day was dawning
And it dawned on me - she was going,
So we drove to the smoke where these words she spoke
Before she boarded the Boeing:
"I'll acquaint my parents with what's transpired,
And my paltry possessions I'll pack,
Then I'll return on wings of desire
And up with you I'll shack."

That night I flew through Athlone and Ballinasloe.
I was home in an hour and a half!
And though it was kinda late, I just had to celebrate,
So I killed the fatted calf,
And next day I booked a room for my upcoming honeymoon
Where no-one would be any wiser,
And in raptures and raptures, I published my nuptials
In the Galway Advertiser!

For six days or seven, I thought I was in heaven.
I was trying it out for size,
But like every other lover, I was shortly to discover
'Twas an amadán's paradise,
For while I was thinking that the Kingdom had come,
And was chantin' "Alleluia,"
Chantal was listening to a different drum
And singing, "Johnny, I hardly knew ye!"

"Oh, John," said she, "I quite agree
That you could do with a woman,
But if you think I'll be your shrink,
You've got another think coming.
Consider, besides, if I was your bride,
In forty years, I would have no fun,
For I'm no more than twenty-four
And you are forty-one!

"Oh, yes, I know I'll miss your eyes and your kiss
And your fingers running through my hair,
But if I lost my head in St. Kevin's bed,
I got it back in the clear French air!
I got off that jet and my parents I met
And I got my act together.
I saw the line they'd draw at a son-in-law
Who was a middle-aged Irish header."

"Oh, but as sure as I'm blonde, of you I'm still fond,
And I might even write - we'll see -
And I don't regret and I won't forget
Our petit coin du paradis.
Now, I'm in a little hurry - be happy, don't worry
And think how much you have grown."
And when I opened my face to plead my case,
She put down the frigging phone!

Oh, was she down at heel in the town of Lille
Or at large in La Rochelle?
Or letting down her hair in the Follies Bergere
- Belly-dancing her way to hell?
Was she singing the blues, below in Toulouse
Or picking pockets in Perpignan?
And, mein Gott! but what if her name was not
Chantal de Champignon?



Well, I'd lost the scent so gung-o I went
To phone Monsieur Mitterand.
But I couldn't connect with the President
Although I threatened his aide-de-camp.
Then the towel I threw, I resigned, withdrew
Although I had done no wrong.
Oh, I thought I had her taped - but the vixen she escaped
Like Marie de Robinson!

Now, an awful lot of water has been led to the slaughter
Since she led me that merry dance.
And I never took a wife, for I wasted my whole life
Looking out for a letter from France.
Oh, Chantal, Chantal, sure I love you still
Like I did in the time that's gone
Although you're going on eighty four
And I'm tipping a hundred and one.

I've outlived all my mates, and I've lost all my slates
And I'm back in the oxygen tent.
And my ozone holes are scoring own goals
In my pitch-black firmament.
There's more tears in my eyes than stars in the skies
I've lost contact with my lenses.
Ah but I'm sure I could get through a dark night with you
And recover my soul and my senses

So come all you middle-aged Irish nutters
And a warning take by me.
Beware when you go out to get scuttered
In your local hostelry.
Don't be a fool, stay up on your stool
Sit tight and drink yourself stupid
Give your number one to whiskey and rum
And don't waste your vote on Cupid!

And if by chance some goddess from France
With luminous short blond hair
Lights up your horizon - stick to your poison
In two simple words - Beware!
Make no overture, give no misguided tour
'Cause Diarmuid agus Grainne went wrong!
And after all your mileage, she'll leave you sitting in your silage
-Like Chantal de Champignon.

Oh now, although you're jarred, please disregard
The advice I gave you just then
Or you'll be stuck in first gear for a hundred years
Like a friggin' old farmyard hen.
For when all is said and done, I once flew near the sun
For one week I was a swan
I was on the wing and I learned to sing
With Chantal de Champignon

Oh, Chantal, Chantal, I hope you're still my pal
And don't think this song a blunder
For I adore far more than I did before
The ground you walk on - or maybe under
Oh don't take a dim view - if I'm laughing at you
What do you think I'm doing to me?
And please God and Saint Kevin, we'l recover in Heaven
Our petit coin du paradis.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 08:25 AM

GUEST

That looks about right - I'll check later today and confirm. I had intended sorting them out as there was a bit of confusion with the earlier verses.

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 28 Jan 05 - 02:55 PM

OK.
Some minor changes from the original - and one or two verses swappped. I'll sort it out later.

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,Wiredgoose
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 01:52 PM

Hi Guys,
I'm new to this thread, but just last week in Donegal heard the above masterpiece at a wedding and managed to wheedle a hissy cassette of this and other Brian O'Rourke songs from the singer.

I've been looking for the lyrics and a CD copy ever since, so this site is welcome. However, I do note that there are a few repetitions and several verses missing in the above. If noone else has the time or knowledge to correct it, I'll undertake to do so in coming days (from here in the French Alps, appropriately!!!).

Anyway, does anyone know of a CD or mp3 copy? I'd love to get Chantal and Drumsnot on my iPod so I can soak them into my memory.

- Eoin Licken, France.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: MartinRyan
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 03:25 PM

Eoin

I note that I promised to sort out the verses - and forgot! The sequence in the Jan. 28 post is nearly right, as far as I recall. Brian published the words in a booklet at the time - of which I have a copy. I know that he had plans for a CD version - but nothing has come of it as far as I know. He has other things on his mind at the momnt - including, I think, a set of stories about to be published!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,Wiredgoose
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 12:20 PM

Thanks Martin,
If you like, I'll tidy up the verses once I get a tape deck/walkman unearthed (moved house a year ago and still unpacking boxes!).

Pity there's no CD version -- if you know Brian tell him I'd gladly pay him his dues in order to get a digital version, and look forward to getting the lyrics to more of him compositions.

I'm at elicken 'at' wanadoo 'dot' fr if you want to take this offline (pardon the format but I'm hiding from spambots).

- Eoin Licken

Subject: Lyr Add: CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON (Brian O' Rourke)
From: GUEST,Wiredgoose
Date: 18 Apr 05 - 06:48 PM

OK, I've obviously too much time on my hands. Here's the exact version I have on tape, which has some extra verses and different words from the version already sent in here.

PS: thanks to "Guest" and Martin Ryan for making the task a lot easier.

CHANTAL DU CHAMPIGNON
(Brian O' Rourke)

1. Oh, one night in a bar I was having a jar
When my destiny it beckoned,
For a vision burst in on top of my thirst
And flattened me pint in a second.
'Twas a lady fair with short blonde hair
And her beauty would shame all queens,
With her glistening lips and her twisting hips
In her slim-fitting Levi jeans.

2. I slid off of me stool, observed me first rule:
I checked me fly and me fainne,
And got ready for a story, all glitter and glory,
Like Diarmuid agus Grainne.
Well, me opening line was, "Hiya, Sunshine.
How's it goin'? Me name is John."
And with a toss of her head this goddess said,
"I'm Chantal du Champignon."

3. "Oh, bedad," I said. "You're a thoroughbred.
You're no cavewoman from Cavan.
You're operatic, aristocratic and very aromatic,
So tell us what are ya havin'?"
From the furrow on her brow, I could see just how
She was torn between a short and a long.
"I'll have an Irish Coffee and a pint of Murphy,"
Said Chantal du Champignon.

4. She'd been hitching around and as yet she hadn't found
Any savages scouting for scalps.
She had scaled the peaks of Kildare and Leix,
Which left her homesick for the Alps.
She'd seen nearly all of Donegal
And learned "Slainte" and "Slan agus Beannacht",
When some racial purist who couldn't stand tourists
Told her go to hell or to Connacht.

5. So here she lands with a week on her hands
Before flying back to France,
And she'd like to get to know Galway and Mayo,
So, boys, I saw my chance.
I said, "I'm your man. I've a Hiace van,
And I've damn-all to do just now,
And me five-acre farm won't come to no harm.
Sure the calf can milk the cow.

6. "Oh, to you I'll show Galway and Mayo,
My privilege and my pleasure,
And for fear you'd grumble, sure I'll do like Cromwell,
And throw Clare in for good measure.
So to hell with the silage. Lets clock up some mileage.
You'll be as safe as with your Daddy."
She said, "I like you more than I did before.
I'll have a Smithwick's and a Paddy."

7. So next day we drove by creek and cove,
All along the western seaboard,
And the music of her voice was twice as nice
As the notes from any keyboard.
For example: "Oh, John, you turn me on.
You completely fill up my senses.
I can see in your eyes all the stars of the skies
Shining out through your contact lenses!"

8. I pulled up the van and she said, "Oh, John,
Please don't take it amiss."
I said, "That's not, you'll find, what I had in mind.
All I want to take is a kiss."
Well, her eyes shone bright and her teeth gleamed white
And her breath it smelled of garlic,
And she tore into me lips like fish and chips
In the shadows of Croagh Patrick.

9. Well, after such happiness, there was no stopping us.
We clocked up hundreds of miles.
We spent thousands of hours around round towers
Of various slants and styles.
Near passage graves and lakes and caves,
In historic and holy places,
Near saint and hero, we reduced to zero
The distance between our faces.

10. And 'twas in the county Clare, I do declare,
We drank many's the tasty beverage,
And the intensity of our propensity
Was way above the average.
Down in Curkambro (?) where the gales they blow,
And the rain fell fast and furious,
By all the gods above, she swore "undying love",
And I thought, "Jay, this is serious".

11. And at Poulnabrone, under twenty ton of stone,
We drank rainbow-coloured wines.
Oh, inside that dolmen, sure I pitied King Solomon.
He could keep his concubines.
Then I offered to show her the Cliffs of Moher
And she showed me a thing or two too,
And in O'Connor's of Doolin, she said, "I'm not foolin'.
I want to spend my life with you."

12. Well, the days flew fast and the week soon passed
Between one thing and another,
And she'd a plane to catch back to Paris-Match
To see her father and brother—and her two sisters and her mother.
So we loaded up the van with cheese and ham
And some six-packs from the fridge,
With a Guinness keg for the final leg
Of our amorous pilgrimage.

13. In the ruins of Clonfert, sure we had a little flirt.
I thought I heard Saint Brendan cheerin'.
And we discovered new joys in Clonmacnoise,
Courtesy of Saint Ciaran.
We drew into Dunlavin about twenty-five to seven
And dropped in to see my Uncle Ted,
And we hit Glendalough around eleven o'clock
And we slept in Saint Kevin's bed.

14. Diddle ow dow dow, Diddley ow dildi dildi
Diddle eye di diddley eye ay,
Skiddery eydil dudil dee, skiddery oudil dyay,
Skiddily eye di di di ay.

15. Well, next morning we were yawning as the day was dawning
And it dawned on me - Oh, she's going,
So we drove to the smoke where these words she spoke
Before she boarded the Boeing:
"I'll acquaint my parents with what's transpired,
And my paltry possessions I'll pack,
Then I'll return on wings of desire
And up with you I'll shack."

16. So that night I flew low through Athlone and Ballinasloe.
I was home in an hour and a half!
And although it was kinda late, I just had to celebrate,
So I killed the fatted calf,
And next day I booked a room for my upcoming honeymoon
Where no-one would be any wiser,
And in raptures and ruptures, I published me nuptials
In the Galway Advertiser!

17. For six days or seven, sure I thought I was in heaven.
I was trying it out for size,
But like every other lover, I was shortly to discover
'Twas an amadán's paradise,
For while I was thinking that the Kingdom had come,
And was chantin' "Alleluia,"
Chantal was listening to a different drum
And singing, "Johnny, I hardly knew ye!"

18. Well, I danced and I sang till the night she rang.
She said, "John, sit down on the sofa,
For I've got some news that will give you the blues.
In a nutshell, cherie, it's over.
On the plane coming back, I was told for a fact
By a man who was once your friend,
You spent two years in the loony bin,
Without marbles, round the bend."

19. "Oh, Chantal," says I, "you were told a lie,
Although it's neither here nor there.
'Twas five years I spent in the oxygen tent,
With a hole in me ozone layer.
But 'twas want of whoopee that had me loopy,
And sure you've sorted out that trouble,
So apply some fire to them wings of desire,
And get back here on the double."

20. "Oh, John," said she, "I quite agree
That you could do with a woman,
But if you think I'll be your shrink,
You've got another think coming.
Consider, besides, if I was your bride,
In forty years, I would 'ave no fun,
For I'm no more than twenty-four
And you are forty-one!

21. "Oh, yes, I know I'll miss your eyes and your kiss
And your fingers running through my hair,
But if I lost ze head in St. Kevin's bed,
I got it back in ze clear French air!
I got off that jet and my parents I met
And I got my act together.
I saw the line they would draw at a son-in-law
Who was a middle-aged Irish header.

22. "Oh, but as sure as I'm blonde, of you I'm still fond,
And I might even write - we'll see -
And I don't regret and I won't forget
Our petit coin du paradis.
Now, I'm in a little hurry - be happy, don't worry -
And think how much you have grown."
And when I opened me face to plead me case,
She put down the frigging phone!

23. Well, I staggered to the mirror and confronted there with terror
A pathetic poor put-upon paddy of a peasant,
So I made smithereens of her Levi jeans
That she gave me for a weddin' present.
And I made mincemeat of her other little treat:
Two lovely blue pottery goblets,
And I sat down and I wrote a suicide note,
And swallowed thirty-five quids' worth of tablets.

24. A week later I awoke and my heart it nearly broke
For I suddenly chanced to remember
I was in a proper mess for I hadn't her address,
Not to mind her telephone number.
So I took a quick look in the French phone book.
It was most unsatisfactory.
After all me research, I was still left in the lurch,
For her daddy was ex-directory.

25. Well, the days went by and there was I,
A wreck by any reckoning.
Sure I lost two stone sitting by the phone,
But the silence from France was deafening.
Oh, me breath I bated. For the post I waited,
All day and all night long,
But ne'er a letter nor a card came up the yard,
From Chantal du Champignon.

26. And then I tried to make a pass at her via our ambassador.
I explained I was besotted.
He was very sympathetic but said something about ethics,
And he told me to "get knotted."
Then I hired a spy whose fees were high,
To assist my research along.
Well, he collected his fees but came up no leads
On Chantal du Champignon.

27. Oh, was she down at heel in the town of Lille
Or at large in La Rochelle?
Lettin' down her hair in the Follies Bergere,
Belly-dancing her way to hell?
Was she singing ze blues, below in Toulouse,
Or picking pockets in Perpignan?
And, mein Gott! but what if her name was not
Chantal du Champignon?

28. Well, I'd lost the scent so gung-ho I went
To phone Monsieur Mitterand.
But I couldn't get through to the President
Although I threatened his aide-de-camp.
Then the towel I threw, I resigned, withdrew,
Although I had done no wrong.
Oh, I thought I had her taped - but the vixen she escaped
Like Marie de Robinson!

29. Now, an awful lot of water has been led to the slaughter
Since she led me this merry dance.
And I never took a wife, for I wasted me life
Looking out for a letter from France.
Oh, Chantal, Chantal, sure I love you still,
More than in the times that's gone.
Although you're going on eighty-four
And I'm tipping a hundred and one.

30. I've outlived all me mates, and I've lost all me slates,
And I'm back in the oxygen tent,
And me ozone holes are scoring own goals
In me pitch-black firmament.
There's more tears in me eyes than stars in the skies.
I've lost contact with me lenses.
But I'm sure I could get through a dark night with you
And recover my soul and me senses.

31. Now come all you middle-aged Irish nutters,
And a warning take by me.
Take care when you go out to get scuttered
In your local hostelry.
Don't be a fool. Stay up on your stool.
Sit tight and drink yourself stupid.
Give your number one to whiskey and rum
And don't waste your vote on Cupid!

32. And if by chance some goddess from France
With luminous short blond hair
Lights up your horizon - stick to your poison.
In two simple words - Beware!
Make no overture. Give no misguided tour,
'Cause Diarmuid agus Grainne went wrong!
And after all your mileage, she'll leave you sitting in your silage
Like Chantal du Champignon.

33. Oh, now, although you're jarred, please disregard
The advice I gave you just then,
Or you'll be stuck in first gear for a hundred years
Like a bloody old farmyard hen.
For when all is said and done, I once flew near the sun.
For one week, I was a swan.
I was on the wing and I learned to sing
With Chantal de Champignon.

34. Oh, Chantal, Chantal, I hope you're still me pal,
And don't think this song a blunder,
For I adore far more than I ever did before
The ground you walk on - or maybe lie under.
Oh, don't take a dim view. If I laugh at you,
What do you think I'm doing to me?
And, please God and Saint Kevin, sure we might find again in Heaven
Our petit coin du paradis, mon amour,
Our petit coin du paradis.

END.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon
From: GUEST,Nenagh SIngersn Circle
Date: 19 May 05 - 07:24 AM

The original idea behind the club was to try to locate the missing female.

Well, the final club meeting was held in the Crane, I think in 2003, nad she was there.

Accordingly the club achieved its aim and has not met since.

brian has since written a magnificent song about a cow who was trapped in a hay barn in Carlow and reappeared some 5 months later after eating through bales for hay. She survived without water which is somewhat of miracle and still lives in Carlow. An hilarious song, not yet recorded.

George Henderson

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O' Rourke)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 May 05 - 09:22 AM

Now, who can supply the tune?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O'Rourke)
From: GUEST,joe lally
Date: 22 May 05 - 06:47 AM

although it doesn't contain the complete song there is an excellent radio programme which contains sections of "chantal". i think it was made originally by clare fm . however you can access it on the rte.ie website. the relevant page is www.rte.ie/radio1/story/1046278.html

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O'Rourke)
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 25 May 05 - 09:54 AM

That programme was produced by Brian's wife Paula Carroll - herself a fine singer. Well worth a listen to hear some of the best of Irish writers of comic songs talking about their arts (or through their..)

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O'Rourke)
From: GUEST,Mike Cox
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 03:40 PM

I'd love a digital version. I had it on tape years ago, but it got lost along the way. I still use some of the lines from the song in regular conversation. eg. "Ah sure the calf can milk the cow"="don't worry about it". Pure Class.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O'Rourke)
From: GUEST,Martin Ryan
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 04:47 PM

I was talking to Brian recently and he said a CD version would appear "soon"! I'll let you know!

Regards

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O'Rourke)
From: GUEST,An Irishman in Florida
Date: 14 Aug 06 - 11:01 PM

Martin, God bless you for going to the trouble and God Bless Brian for writing his songs

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Chantal du Champignon (Brian O'Rourke)
From: GUEST,An Chuileog
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 11:33 AM

Like many others i have been looking for a copy of Brians album When i grow up for years now. Anyone know if theres any progress on a cd? I heard Chantel and a few more sang in Ciarans bar in ennis a few years ago and i have strangled and mangeled a few verses of it myself a few times.