 sj |
||
|
||
Campsite at Drumcree II
|
|
|
Subject: Campsite at Drumcree II From: Wolfgang Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:02 AM continued from Campsite at Drumcree Wolfgang |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Brush Shiels Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:26 AM How's it goin' lads? Anybody know "The Rocker"? I think it's in C ... |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Snowy White Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:28 AM Ye boy ye! Heads to the left, dicks to the right! LET'S ROCK! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Ronan Keating Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:32 AM I'm a rocker I'm a roller, too, honey (Jaysus, Snowy ... it was nice o' you to ask me to take over from Phil in the new line-up. Rumour was you were goin' to ask Stephen Gately!) |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: Fibula Mattock Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:35 AM QUICK!! Someone zip up the door of this tent. I've just seen Brian Kennedy out there. ("Put Brian Kennedy in a box/Put the box into a car/Drive the car to a cliff and push it off"). Next thing Bono will be up there doin' his bit for World Peace. I don't think I can stomach that without bokin' my ring up. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,The Edge Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:39 AM Thank Christ there's a bit more room in this new tent! I was squashed in there between Lupari and Barney McKenna in that last place.
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Eamonn Holmes Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:42 AM Hi Gino ... You skinny bugger! Yer ma's not putting enough nettles in your champ! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:46 AM Ladies and gentlemen We are sorry to announce that the catering facilities are temporarily suspended. Eamonn Holmes has eaten all the pies. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Footnote Date: 01 Feb 02 - 08:54 AM You might think that the Eamonn Holmes stuff is an irrelevance. But, the other day I came across THIS! Eamonn's Ireland advert on Amazon Is this the funniest thing you've ever seen or what? What would thon tube know about music? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,UTV Community Message Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:03 AM (Cue crap Community Message music) Subtitle (superimposed on a picture of a sunset or the suchlike): DRUMCREE CAMPSITE (formerly one of the Four Green Fields) (There follows a slide show of positive images such as beardy singer/songwriters; soldiers crouching down to talk to children; bowler-hatted individuals laughing avuncularly; spides in band uniforms playing football; more sunsets; possibly a Tommy Sands song playing softly in the background.) Voiceover (read slowly in a culchie accent with precise enunciation and some kind of learning disorder): "This summer, musicians from all over Northern Ireland and the Republic are coming together in a campsite to promote understanding and cultural awareness. Do you have a part you can play? Can you bring the gift of music to Drumcree? If so, why not contact any member of U2 who will be happy to have you watch them stand on top of a hill and hold hands with politicians. Let's work together to put the harmony back into all our lives" (More jangly community music to fade.) Van the Man chips in "Wouldn't it be great if it was like this all the time?" (Repeat ad nauseum during the ad break every teatime before Frank Mitchell comes back on to do weatherwatchers and to tell you where tonight's cryptic clue referred to.) |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Gino Lupari Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:03 AM Holmes ... I'll own up to being a big, fat man. Fair do's! But you're just a skinny wee gawk who's been slappin' too much Kerrygold on his sodie farls! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Gloria Hunniford Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:06 AM If you stopped lyin' about on your hole all day like a churn a-dryin', you'd soon lose a bit of thon beef, Eamonn! (By the way ... good to see The Portadown News in the house!) |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Puzzle Corner Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:16 AM Seein' that the word "spides" was referred to in a post above, here's a wee poser that those of us of a certain vintage might be able to answer … "What is the origin of the derogatory expression "spides"?"
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: Fibula Mattock Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:17 AM I do believe it stems from "spiderman", from tattoos? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Head of NI Papular Culcher, QUB Date: 01 Feb 02 - 09:49 AM In February 1979, Good Vibrations Records released a 4-track e.p. called "Battle Of The Bands". Three punkish bands – Rudi, The Outcasts and The Idiots – and one bunch of very straight, moustache-touting lachakoes, called "The Spiderz". The cheap artwork which graced the fold-out cover included the question "Who are the spidermen?". Shortly after, people of a punky persuasion began referring to those who were "non-aligned" (in a musical sub-tribe sense) as "spidermen", "spidies" or "spides". |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Christy Moore Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:07 AM Ah Jaysus this is great! "Westlife" are only after doin' a fockin great a cappella version of "Dearg Doom". Only beltin', it was! Now I'm goin' to do another funny song for yez "Don't forget your fiddle if you go to Portydown Don't forget your groundsheet, else you're sleeping on the ground Which isn't very pleasant when the rain is tippin' down Fal-dee-deedle-do Pity oul' Phil Lynott wasn't with us at Drumcree Beltin' out "The Rocker" and crooning "Rosalie" He'd be chattin' up Sinead and soon he'd have her on his knee Fal-da-deedle-do And poor oul' Rory Gallagher, he'd have loved to have a strum Him and Noel Redding, wi' Ringo on the drums Joining in on vocals, my main man Pecker Dunne Deedle-eedle-do Where is Terry Wogan, let's have him for MC Him and oul' Gay Byrne and from the UTV Let's have Gerry Kelly – he looks like one of we Deedle-all-de-day He's a big oul' hairy bugger with a belly big and round He's as fat as Eamonn Holmes, begod, although maybe pound for pound More talent in Gerry Kelly would probably be found Dal-the-deedle-do" |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Rev. Payne Jaysley Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:08 AM Howyiz...just trying out the south lingo there for bether cross border communication. There's not much room in here. Shift yourself over there Van do you think your still on Cyprus avenue (clears throat, spits on floor) Here now I'll give youse a quare ould comeallye thats very popular in these parts. Where's that we feckin' monkey Maloney. Fire up them republican pipes there boy "it was old but it was beautiful..... |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Mary Robinson Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:13 AM Oh for the love of Jaysus... Jaysley's on the tear. Wasn't he just after lashin' a bottle of teachers into him down fornenst the church. I'm not saying I can spay fortunes but there'll be blood in this tent before were all very much older. Where's me beg? Scuze me are you headin' into the town there boys? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Rev. Payne Jaysley Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:22 AM Would you look at the head on that fecker Wogan. You'd need a whole tent just to get the head in. Cmere over here is it Sinead ahh come over love and sit on Daddys knee, you never know what might come up wha. Them Corrs is lovely are'nt they wha, here girls do youse know the Green Grassy slopes of the Boyne, now thats down your part of the country. (slips sideways of seat onto floor mumbles to himself) |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,David Dunseith Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:25 AM To the tune of Dearg Doom I'm a tube of the very first degree I think I'm brilliant cos I've made some shite TV But I'm a poghal; I'm like Dan O'Donnell's brawr I wipe my plate and Then I ask for more, more, more I'm Eamonn Holmes I'm Eamonn Holmes My suits are shiny, and strain around my tum I'm the proud possessor of a big and wobbly bum I eat Tayto crisps and toasted sodie farls Is it any wonder I a, like a bar'l, bar'l bar'l I'm Eamonn Holmes I'm Eamonn Holmes
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Mairéad Ní Mhaoinaigh Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:33 AM Shove your arses over there, boys and let a real musician into the company ... Donal ... give us a wee 6/8 riff in G, a wee bit like the intro you did for the "Kesh Jig" with the Bothy Band. (Lunny strums. Lupari hits the bodhrán a dunder or two. Cooney joins in with a restrained bit of picking. Arty McGlynn slides in tastefully.) Ah, jaysus that's lovely. (Mairéad is about to pull her bow across the strings, when the spell is suddenly shattered as Brush Shiels windmills a huge big fockin power-chord.) Get that hoor's get the fock outa here. And take Bob Geldof with him, would ye? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Bono Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:34 AM (tosses his mane and stamps his foot) If Bob Geldof is going, then I'm going too! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Val Doonican Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:36 AM Off you go then, you'll not be missed, you borin', self-important, humourless bollix! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:45 AM Ladies and gentlemen Due to the number of incidents of beard-lock which have occurred over the course of today's proceedings, the organisers would ask that in future, no two beard-wearers be allowed to sit side-by-side. In addition the following individuals are asked to ensure that at least TWO clean-shaven men (or two women, whether clean-shaven or not) be between them and another beardie at all times :- Ronnie Drew, Joe Burke, Noel Purcell, Charlie Lansborough, Jackie Daly, Barney McKenna. The comparing of beard-length, thickness, resilience, smelliness, adequacy for use as a soup-strainer, etc. is henceforth forbidden and anyone found indulging in such activities, organising such activities or seeking to gain financially from such activities through gambling will be asked to leave the Drumcree Gathering! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Shane MacGowan Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:54 AM Me and Van and Sinead and The Dubliners and Mary O'Hara and Eamonn Holmes and Horslips and Big Tom and Susan McCann and Dave Fanning and yer woman off Animal Hospital and Tom Paulin and Antony Clare are poppin' up the road for a decent pint. Anybody fancy joinin' us for a few swifties? And anybody know where you get yer hands on some decent E or coke roun' here? Is not for myself, mind! It's for Derek Bell outta The Chieftains. He says he wants to get ripped to the tits! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:02 PM Howl on there MacGowan I never said that atall. I was lookin for some vitamin e to rub on me piano stool. Its very handy for slidin, around when I have to play the harp. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:03 PM Howl on there MacGowan I never said that atall. I was lookin for some vitamin e to rub on me piano stool. Its very handy for slidin, around when I have to play the harp. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:03 PM Howl on there MacGowan I never said that atall. I was lookin for some vitamin e to rub on me piano stool. Its very handy for slidin, around when I have to play the harp. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:08 PM Would somebody turn off that copycat the delays set too high. Anyway as I was saying Paddy does'nt let me drink he says it makes me too hyper and I tend to break into Satisfaction or some other popular tune in the middle of a planxty. is anybody going to eat that Mars bar? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Rev. Payne Jaysley Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:21 PM Here what are you lookin' at Bell? Ye dozzie wee fecker. I have a song for ye On the green grassy slopes of the Boyne If you or your likes was ever foun I'd pull the ugly head clean aff ye And give you a kick in the groin there ye are now ye can't bate the ould standards now can ye. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Guest Derryadd Sam Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:50 PM What the hells goin`on here, I was washed up near the Bannfoot and come back to find our Hill full of bloody Fenians. Come over here ye bollickes and i`ll give ye a wee tune on my Flamethrower. Derryadd Sam. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,John Paul II Date: 01 Feb 02 - 12:52 PM (Steps over the prostrate body of Jaysley) God bless all here. Is that big Ian? Mary Peters: Aye thats him alright but he's goin' under another name so he is. I don't mean to be rude but what are you doing here? Your takin' your life in your hands so ye are. John Paul II: Ach a know but sure I had to be seen to be doin' somethin' Mary Peters: Did ye come up the Garvaghy road? John Paul II: Fuck no, I came across the fields. Sure look at the cow shite on me slippers. Mary Peters: That's wild so it is. John Paul II: Who was that ejit that was running ahead of us in the pelt? bare arsed to the world. Mary Peters: Oh that was Sammy Wilson so it was. John Paul II: Yez are terrible people. What yez need is a man like Lech Walesa. Now there's a boy who could whip yez all into shape. When I stuck the neb into the Poland situation the Russkies were'nt long gettin' the fuck out. Isn't that right Guido. (turns to Swiss guard) Guido: Yes Holiness. Holiness we have a small problem. John Paul II: What's that son. Guido: Peter Robinson and David Trimble are joyriding up and down the Garvaghy Road in the Pope Mobile. John Paul II: Ah for fuck's sake that thing's not taxed or MOT'd. Come on son can you carry me back across the field. Good luck! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: Big Tim Date: 01 Feb 02 - 03:07 PM Try reading "Drumcree; the Orange Order's Last Stand" by Chris Ryder and Vincent Kearney - that aint so funny. Isn't Shane MacGowan off the drink? "Every drink is a spit in the face of Jesus" - Shane at Celtic Connections festival recently. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST, Paddy O'Doors Date: 01 Feb 02 - 04:23 PM Well said there, yer man Derek Bell, shure & ye had me pissin me pants there wi' laffin! (Honestly, this is the best thread(s) in AGES...every line a fockin GEM, truly! Cheers!) |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,The Lords Day Observance Society Date: 01 Feb 02 - 05:20 PM Remember folk-music types that this "thread" is being picketed on Sundays! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Shane MacGowan Date: 01 Feb 02 - 05:22 PM No ... what I said was "I'm that thirsty I could drink some of the Romans' spit off Jesus' face". 'S better than Toilet Duck any day! Up the republic! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: alison Date: 01 Feb 02 - 10:00 PM quick get that tent zipped up and everybody quiet... I just saw the Nolans walking up the street.... and they're still wearing those yellow hot pants things.... yeughhhhhh!!! aww fer god's sake who left George Best and Hurricane Higgins in charge of the bar? have yis no sense???? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Christy Moore Date: 01 Feb 02 - 10:52 PM time for a nice slow ballad I think,
True you've got the finest sash
March on, screw you,
I'm an angry Fenian boy
March on, screw you, |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Mrs Doyle Date: 02 Feb 02 - 01:43 AM awww... sure Christy that was lovely, so. will ye not have a cup of tea? aw go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, GO ON! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Father Jack Date: 02 Feb 02 - 01:44 AM DRINK! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Hurricane Higgins Date: 02 Feb 02 - 02:12 AM Christ George what did ye put in that vodka, I thought I saw some big bloke in a dress and funny slippers carrying the Pope across the field there. I love bein' in charge of the bar... here, have ye tried this, George I reckon if I'd took up the football I'd be a better player than you were. Well atleast I would'nt have had to wear a tie. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Feargal Sharkey Date: 02 Feb 02 - 03:43 AM Shane ... How did you get on when you went out for thon drink? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Shane MacGowan Date: 02 Feb 02 - 03:46 AM It was shite, man! Ezy Meat were playing the Seagoe and Ruefrex were on at the Carngrove. We ended up goin' into Lurgan to catch Rudi at the Ashburn. I scored some Es for Derek Bell off Enya. (But since he didn't want them I sold them on to Brendan Shine.) Eamonn Holmes - the carn - drunk about four dozen Bailey, hoiked his ring up and then tried to slip the han' on Caron Keating. Great crack. Up the republic. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT Date: 02 Feb 02 - 03:53 AM Would the didactic, pedantic bollox who posted above please note that he is out of his depth. This isn't a political rally. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Len Ganley Date: 02 Feb 02 - 04:57 AM Higgins! I thought I toul' you never to venture within twenty miles of Portydown. If I get my han's on you ... you ign'rant wee hoor! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 02 Feb 02 - 05:00 AM Jaysis ... Thon tab I drapped at taytime's fair kickin' in. D'ye 'hink Gary Moore would let me do a duet wi' 'im? I fancy batterin' out Bad Reputation ... |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 02 Feb 02 - 12:25 PM Hey wait a minute somebody's postin' as me. I never said that atall...infact I never took any drugs in me life...except for that cough medicine that Paddy gave me when I had the wee tickle in the throat there. Medicine has a bad enough effect on me fuck knows what I'd be like on drugs. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST, Derek Bell Date: 02 Feb 02 - 12:34 PM Hold yer spuds there, fellas... I'm the real Derek Bell, an' so's me Wife... |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 02 Feb 02 - 07:31 PM Y'are in yer bollox the real Derek Bell. I'm the man heesself and I kin tell yiz thon acid wuz fair fuckin kickin'! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Pontius Pilate Date: 02 Feb 02 - 07:33 PM I'm washin' my fuckin' han's o' this loady nonsense. Bring back Teatime Wi' Tommy or Miss Helen in Romper Room! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Elvis Costello Date: 02 Feb 02 - 07:42 PM Alison ... I know this thread relies on you Alison ... a bouly stew |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,TANNOY Date: 02 Feb 02 - 07:47 PM Liam Og O Flynn has entered the tent. Could all musicians who don't read the dots please clear the canvas ... Could all musicians not familar with the music of Inner Clare, Upper Cavan, Asturia, Galicia, Czechoslovakia, Erehwon and Edenderry (Liam's specialist subject in last year's Scór) please shut the fock up! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Yer Man Outta Hothouse Flowers Date: 02 Feb 02 - 08:16 PM Lads .. D'ye need a didge-player? I'm dead good! Altan have used me. Please ... otherwise I'll have to guest on another Sharin Shannon album ... and she's alright at times, but at others she's all over the place like a mad woman's shite! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: alison Date: 02 Feb 02 - 08:23 PM er.... hi Elvis...... and what exactly would you like me to try to do??? I didn't invite these people... they just sorta turned up.... all I wanted was a wee coort... and I get the biggest session ever........ I give up... if anyones looking for me I'll be in the corner sculling Babycham......... |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Garvaghy Road Resident's Association Date: 04 Feb 02 - 04:20 AM All right lads, yez have had your crack! Now could yez just pish aff and let us have some sleep. I haven't shut me eyes in four days, what with Bad Reputation and The Boys Are Back In Town and Four Green Fields and The Shan Van Vocht and Dorty Oul' Town blastin' out day and night. Ye'd think from looking at this site it was at least quiet yesterday. But was it, me ass? A day of prayer they called it! More like a day of Buckfast! If I hear Shane MacGowan wanderin' past our house in the middle of the night, pished as a ferret, singin' "Nearer My God To Thee" or "The Oul' Rugged Cross". I'll brain him! Oh god, no! It's not ten o'clock yet and I've just heard a roadie check the PA. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Roadie Date: 04 Feb 02 - 04:21 AM 1 - 2 1 - 2 Hello Portydown. Gi'z a bit more top-en' there! Sorted out! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Enya Date: 04 Feb 02 - 04:29 AM Jaysus! I'm roaring drunk and I've hoovered up a rake o' charlie. Would some o' youse musicianers get up out of your stinkin' beds and play a few tunes for me to warble ethereally over in the manner of a 21st Century Renaissance Banshee? Before I go in there and kick your flabby oul' arses till your noses bleed!
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,NEWSFLASH!!!! Date: 04 Feb 02 - 04:58 AM Police in the North Armagh area have issued a warning to residents after receiving reports that the Donegal singer, "Enya", a relative of the famous Breathnach dynasty who are responsible for the Clannad travesty, is at large in a highly volatile and disturbed state in the Portydown-Lurgan area. At 5 am this morning, the musicianer was spotted outside Lurgan barracks, singing "Come Out Ye Black And Tans". When this tirade of abuse went ignored, she stationed herself outside the local Sinn Fein office, where a rendition of "Dolly's Braes" drew no reaction from the bemused chuckies seated within. Local man Dan McCann (From The Banks Of The Bann, Who Washes His Face In A Frying Pan) gave the following account. "I was drivin' down past the Balancin' Lakes, listenin' to Susan McCann on Downtown. Great wee singer, thon Susan. No relation to me, mind you! And then a Big Tom song came on. I was listenin' away ... then all of a sudden this mad huzzy jumps out inty the road in front of me. It was all I could do to slap the anchors on in time! She was a right cut, the same blade! Drunk as a hatchet. And her nose and mouth dusted in some white powder. Like she'd been sucking a sherbet fountain and let a big cough out of her! A bottle of buckfast in one hand and a bottle of Scotch Mac in the awr! "Let me in the fockin car" she said. "Bite my shite!" sez I and away I flew. Police are warning locals on no account to accompany the deranged Donegal woman on a musical instrument of any sort - in particular not to play synthesisers or any form of sampled "ambient" sounds. The resulting caterwauling could be fatal! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Guest Rab C Nesbit Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:01 AM Let me tell you this. Please accept this huge lorry frae Govan Spoonfull Loyal Flute Band of Buckfast, Soda Bread and Irn Bru (minus a few bottles that me and Jamsie Cotter have pished up the wall). I take ma string vest and have a swallae for youse all |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Drumcree MegaSession Enterprises Limited Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:19 AM Dear Mr Nesbitt On behalf of Drumcree MegaSession 2002, I would like to thank you for your kind gift of buckie and sody farls which will ensure that "The Drumcree MegaSession (c) For World Peace and Mutual Understanding" continues well into March. Yours faithfully DMSE Ltd |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Drumcree MegaSession Enterprises Limited Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:26 AM Dear Mr Nesbitt Or should I say ... SABOTEUR! Myself and a fellow member of DMSE Ltd have, in a spirit of curiosity, sampled your donation of "Irn Bru". This mingin' beverage is an insult to the sophisticated palates of Mid-Ulster. After analysis by our scientific team, our initial suspicions that the "soft drink" was nothing of the sort have been confirmed. We have been advised that the bottle contains carbonated diabetic urine. Either youse Scottish boys are devoid of taste or this is a calculated insult to the good folk of Mid-Ulster. No matter ... yez can have the Irn Bru, so yez can! We're keepin' the buckie and the sodie bread. Yours sincerely DMSE Ltd |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Guest Jamsie Cotter Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:42 AM Now look here bhouys. Ah think a Mary Doll must have tried tae sabotage the goods thinking Rab wis goona swallie the whole lot.Mind ye how can youse complain aboot Irn Bru when you drink that red fizzy ginger stuff. The Buckfast we sent was fresh pinched from Netto's and is just passed it's sell by date (by a year or two). If ye can hing on we'll send you some Ashet and Mince pies tae replace the one Eamon Holmes has scoffed. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Enya Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:46 AM Here we go lads … Anybody want to give me a hand with this one? It's based aroun' the "Rocky Road to Dublin" so you should be able to chime in. Where's thon wee hoor, Paddy Moloney? Paddy … would you give us an A on the pipes there? (skirl … squeeze … rasp … wheeze … wavery note at last!) Good stuff … away we go! In the hot month of July from me home I started Boun' for Portydown with a rake of loyal-hearted Donned me sash so fine, the colours of me loyalty To the notions of privilege and royalty Hopping on the train, bound for Killicomaine I thought I'd treat me brain to a bottle or two of Mundies Through Moira we did pass, and then I bared my ass To some Kilwikie lass as she went to Mass on Sunday 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 Hunt the hare and turn her Steal an Irish flag, just before you burn 'er Whack-fol-lal-de-dah |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Guest Mary Doll Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:48 AM Oh No Not Aye I will Survi eve |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Mary Black Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:50 AM Enya! Sweet Jaysus, what's got into you? I toul' you not to mix charlie wi' QC and Mundies. I used to be at that oul' crack years ago ... aye, and the sniffin' petrol an' all! Now, c'mon over here and have a nice wee drag on my bong! That'll calm you down! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Brian Downey Date: 04 Feb 02 - 05:59 AM God .. but thon Daniel O'Donnell's a changed man ever since yer nice black-haired one out of the Commitments threw the leg over him las' night. And ever since Derek Bell and Brendan Shine soul' him a couple of grammes of blue speed. The state of him! He'd make Axl Rose look like Johhny MacEvoy so he would! I just hope he doesn't bump into Enya. The pair of them'll go buck-mad! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Guest Rab C. Nesbit Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:04 AM Here do youse want some Brasso tae mix wi the Irn Bru |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,MDSE Ltd Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:12 AM We're one step ahead o' you there, Rab. We've already cut it with Toilet Duck! 'S great, so it is! A wee bit like purple Tennent's! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Dolores Keane Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:13 AM God … Thon's some band that Daniel O'Donnell and Enya've put together, right enough! Derek Bell – wearing thon harp low-slung, like a wee, oul' fat, gawky version of Sid Vicious. Brendan Shine on bass. Look at him pacin' up and down there! Like yer man Hook outta New Order! Eamonn Holmes on drums. He's got to use extra long drumsticks to reach the buggers cos his gut's so big. Shane MacGowan doin' a Bez. And bugger me! If it isn't Brian Young on guitar! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Guest Jimmy Shand Junior Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:18 AM Can I join in on accordian I'll bring my pals the Alexander Brothers, Tom and Jack. Tom plays a a mean piano and Jack well he stands there playing the auld accordian with two expression. A happy face for a happy song and a sad face for a sad song . they do a belting ' Nobodys Child' |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Enya and Daniel O'Donnell Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:31 AM (Daniel – slurs) Alright Portydown … ye big bunch of hoors, yez! This wee song is to the air of "The Patriot Game". My name is O'Donnell, I'm from Donegal If you're lookin' for lovin' then gi' me a call I'm hung like a stallion that's never been tamed I love dear oul' Ireland and this patriot's game I'm falling-down drunk, I've had Buckfast and Mac You sample this pleasure and there's no goin' back Now I need to get jiggy with some tidy dame I love dear oul' Ireland, this patriot's game (Enya) Oh Danny my darlin' you're making me hot If you dropped a coin now right into my slot You'd hit the oul' jackpot, a fortune you'd gain I love dear oul' Ireland, this patriot's game My name's Enya Clannad, I'm out of my tree On acid and vodka and charlie and E In need of some lovin', your spuds I will drain I love dear oul' Ireland, this patriot's game
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Johnny Logan Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:37 AM Go on ahead … the more the merrier … it'd be like a regular Celtic Connections. Do you know Sheena Easton and Eddi Reader? Could you invite them over. Daniel O'Donnell's had all the Irish women at the MegaSession and says he needs to get started on some of our Celtic cousins. (He says he wouldn't say no to a pop at Mary Doll and Cotter's Missus, but he'd draw the line at Jeanette Krankie!) |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Guest Lulu Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:46 AM Youse know youse make me want tae 'Shout!' |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Pastor Jack Glass Date: 04 Feb 02 - 06:47 AM Can I bring along me auld pal 'The Big Yin' Me and him get on like a Chapel on Fire . So we dae |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Daniel O'Donnell Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:00 AM I know what you make me wanna do, Lulu ... and it's not shout, that's for sure! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Finn MacCool Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:03 AM I don't mind Scottish mortals coming over for a bit of oul' crack. But if I see thon Fingal settin' foot in Ireland, I'll kick his hairy ass for the best part of a week! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,The Red Man Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:06 AM Clamp yer bake, MacCool ... the lip on you, you'd think you were a big hero or something. When I came lookin' for you a while back you near shat yourself ... Pay him no heed, Fingal! Over you come, if you like! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Lulu Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:07 AM Dan the Man. Youse can yodel up me canyon of love anytime big boy as long as yer Mammy and Granny are there to watch you |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Bootlegs Available From Nutts Corner! Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:52 AM 1. Gino Lupari, Brush Shiels and Maura O'Connell – The Boys Are Back In Town 2. Ian Paisley (concertina) and Mary Robinson (uilleann pipes) – Cooley's/The Wise Maid 3. Daniel O'Donnell – Cigarettes, Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women 4. The Undertones featuring Brendan Bowyer – The Hucklebuck 5. David Dunseith (fiddle) and Eamonn Holmes (fiddle) – When Sick Is It Tea That You Want? 6. Gloria Hunniford – For Ireland I Won't Tell Her Name 7. The Robinsons (Peter and Mary) – The Enniskillen Dragoon 8. Gerry Adams (vocals ) and John Taylor (guitar) – The Oul' Orange Flute 9. Bono (tin whistle), Johnny Logan (melodeon) and Bertie Aherne (bodhran) – Rakish Paddy/The Ivy Leaf 10. Enya – Maids When You're Young Never Wed An Oul' Man 11. Brendan Shine - Here Comes The Nice 12. Liam Reilly and Chris deBurgh – Cunla/The Frost Is All Over 13. Ash – The Rollickin' Boys Around Tandragee 14. Enya and Daniel O'Donnell – White Punks On Dope 15. Martin McGuiness (flute), Dick Spring (mandolin) and Brush Shiels (guitar) – The Cat That Kittled In Jamie's Wig 16. Georgie Best and Alex Higgins – Nancy Whiskey/Whiskey You're The Devil 17. Ian Paisley – The Ould Triangle 18. Bill Neely and Orla Guerin – The Stone Outside Dan Murphy's Door 19. The Corrs featuring Brush Shiels – The Rocker 20. The Nolan Sisters with Daniel O'Donnell – Seven Drunken Nights |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Daniel O'Donnell Date: 04 Feb 02 - 07:59 AM Lulu ... You l'ave my mammy and my granny out of it, ye hear! Oh Jesus, Mary and Saint Joseph and the poor wee donkey! My head's splittin' so it is! And I can't mind half of what's been goin' on over the past couple of days. Th'oul electric talc's great sport when it's still fresh in your system, but I feel like a wet rag now. If you lay your eyes on oul' Derek Bell on your travels can you tell him Daniel O'Donnell needs to see him to get heesself sorted out! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Derek Bell Date: 04 Feb 02 - 08:06 AM Alright Danny. Just calm down, me oul' son. How much're you after? Well that'll be £120. And remember this is outta my own stash, sunshine. I'll have to try to track down Dickie Rock to stock up back up again. (Ye didn't know Dickie was a dealer ... sure how the fock did you think he came by that name in the first place?) Jaysus ... don't be chappin' up them lumps out here for all to see. If thon Enya gets a gawk at your stash she'll have it up her neb in no time!
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Killicomaine Records Date: 04 Feb 02 - 08:40 AM Sleeve Notes from "THe Drumcree Sessions Volume 2 – Afterhours". The afterhours sessions find the musicians in more contemplative mood. A fine companion to "The Drumcree Sessions Voume 1 – Hell And High Water" – recently released on Killicomaine Records, having been available up until then only from a shell-suited beergut at Nutts Corner. The afterhours sessions features some of the Scottish guests whose presence was one of the highlights of the first few days of the MegaSession (till the Irn Bru ran oot and they legged it back hame) 1. Brid Rodgers – Carrickfergus 2. Rhondda Paisley with Brush Shiels – The Rocker 3. Eamonn Holmes with Caron Keating - My Lagan Love 4. Len Ganley – The Star Of The County Down 5. Ken Maginnis – Come Back Paddy Reilly To Ballyjamesduff 6. Lulu with Arty McGlynn – Will Ye Go Tae Flanders? 7. Philomena Begley and Shane MacGowan – My Elusive Dreams 8. Big Tom and Big Ian – I'm A Man You Don't Meet Every Day 9. Nigel Dodds – The Green Glens Of Antrim 10. The Massed Choir of the Lords Day Observance Society – Whiskey On A Sunday 11. Eamonn Malley (fiddle) and Eddie Irvine (guitar) – Roisin Dubh 12. Enya and Daniel O'Donnell – Je T'Aime (Moi Non Plus) 13. Gerry Adams and Eddi Reader – Do You Want Your Oul' Lobby Washed Down? 14. The Proclaimers with Brush Shiels – The Rocker |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,David Bailey Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:18 AM Could I put a bid in to photograph Daniel o'Donnel hanging out of the back of Lulu. I sure I could syndicate the piccies to Sunday Sport, The Catholic Herald, Exchange & Mart etc. All proceeds to whichever Flute Band charity you wish |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,NEWSFLASH!!!! Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:33 AM NEWS READER - We interrupt today's Home And Away to bring you an urgent newsflash. We're going live to Kate Adie in Portydown. KATE ADIE - "I stand in the midst of an appallingly tragic scene here in Drumcree of the outskirts of Portydown where, for several days, the cream of Ireland's musicians have been playing in the world's biggest ever session. But earlier this morning tragedy struck. (Camera sweeps the tent. Tear-stained faces look imploringly into the camera.) I have with me Tommy Irwin – head barman with Drumcree MegaSessions Enterprises Limited. Mr Irwin – can you tell the viewers what's been happening? TI – Well. This morning we run outty buckie. It was terrible altogether! Not a bottle of buckie about the place at all. I took a wee skite into Lurgan and Jimmy that works alongside me headed till Armagh. But there wasn't a bottle of buckie to be had in the whole of the Orchard County! And then we hit the phones. Nothing in Banbridge. Damn all in Omagh. Magherafelt was bone-dry on the buckie front. Limavady. Crossgar. Strangford. Downpatrick. Antrim. All the same. No buckie to be had for love nor money. KA - And what's the situation as we now speak? TI – Well, you can see for yourself. People is getting' desperate. They're hitting the oul' Mundies and Scotch Mac . But thon's a stop-gap. No … we need help. And we need it fast! KA – Thank you Mr Irwin. Reaction was swift. The area was declared a National Disaster Zone. Tony Blair and his counterpart Bertie Ahern pledged immediate aid. Air-drops of Buckfast are expected to commence within the next few hours and will continue for as long as necessary. Speaking on Downtown a few minutes ago, Mr Blair said "The MegaSession is an important cultural milestone. It is an energy-draining business and the participants need to be assured of supplies of head-wrecking tonic wine. The British and Irish Governments will move heaven and earth to see that this vital expression of cultural identity does not founder on the rocks of the non-availability of a few choice libations." Bertie Ahern sought to familiarise himself with the product. But after two bottles he challenged Mr Blair to a fight, threw up, fell asleep and pissed himself. He is currently unavailable for comment. Sources close to the Taoiseach state that he is fully behind the air-drops. Back to the studio. NEWSREADER : Thank you, Kate! There will be further bulletins throughout the day. We return you to Home And Away. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Bob Geldof Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:41 AM Jaysus! This is a fockin' tragedy right enough! I'd love to help ... but what can I do? One man strugglin' to alleviate this horror? I know! I'll organise a concert with all my good friends - Queen, Phil Collins, Boy George, U2, Celine Dion, Grandmaster Flash, INXS - well prob'ly not them last ones! We'll call it Wine Aid! Yes! Yes! Yes! Now, where's Midge Ure's phone number? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Bob Geldof Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:56 AM Ladies and Gentlemen ... Back home in Ireland there are hundreds of our fellow human beings suffering from the worst Buckast drought in known history. It's down to us to try to bring a smile back to those poor pinched faces ... So join with myself and my fellow Wine Aid Musicians as we sing... |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,John Cole Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:56 AM Aye have been brung out of retirement to give this speshul appeal. Dumcree needs you to donate as much Buckfast, After Shave, Carlsberg Speshul, Nitromorse and Toilet Duck and Draught Bostick. A little will be much appreciated by the loyal band |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Wine Aid Chorus Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:57 AM We're out of buckie, but there's no need to feel afraid We can make do with vodka and red lemonade In the world there's plenty of buckie to go roun' Throw your arms around a glass of Buckfast wine But say a prayer, pray for the other ones Who do not drink, it's hard but when you're having fun They look miserable and boring, dull and dim and drear The only liquid flowing is their bitter whingey tears And the popping of a cork, sounds like a cannon's boom Tonight thank God it's them instead of you. Feed the world … gallons of sweet Buckfast wine Feed the world … gallons of sweet Buckfast wine for all (Here's to you) raise a glass to every one (Here's to them) stick your tee-total up your bum Gallons of sweet Buckfast wine for all |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Georgie Best Date: 04 Feb 02 - 09:59 AM That song breaks my heart! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Ruby Murray Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:04 AM Do yez allow dead people in here? If so I've a mini-bus load parked up near the Carngrove who'd like to drop in for a bit of an oul' come-all-ye ...
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Bob Geldof Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:21 AM To the tune (sort of) of "MacNamara's Band" Me name is Robert Geldof I'm the leader of a band We sort out droughts and famine, we work wonders in all lands If you've ever got a problem, no matter how big the job Just pick up the oul' blower boys and get in touch with Bob I heard there was a famine in Afric's north-east horn The bugger's had no bread nor spuds nor rice nor oats nor corn So me and Midge, we cleaned our fridge but that wouldn't last them long So I says Ure, you wee scots hoor, let's write them a wee song It wasn't very long until their bellies they were full And me and my oul' chinas went back to being dull Oul' second-rate celebrities whose records do not sell A major drought might spring us out of our lonely B-list hell Then came the bucky nightmare in the place called Portydown I got on the mobile and all my friends came roun' We put on a big concert in the London park called Hyde And made sufficient money so the place was not long dry
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Tannoy Announcement Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:21 AM Will ye's all listen up now... In thon main tent the lads are limberin' up fer the banjo races right now... We've fer the first race Enda Scahill vs. Gerry O'Connor vs. Oul' Barney. Rules is three times round The Moving Cloud an' the first tae finish is the winner. No missin' any notes out or bum notes boys an' the judges (John Paul II, Feargal an' Bertie) will be awarding extra points fer the fiercest an' most original jazzy run... On yer blocks now boys... |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Brian McGrath Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:24 AM I'm not enterin' the banjo races if Tom McManamon is allowed to enter. He's threatened to bit my wee finger off if I bate him! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Tom McManamon Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:27 AM That's a lie, referee. I said "You go ahead Brian and play like a mad bastard. I'm too drunk to bite my finger." But Christ knows what it came out like! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Barney McKenna Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:29 AM Ah Jaysus! Can we not play The Mason's Apron? C'mon!! Else I'll sing "The Comical Genius"! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Tom McManamon Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:34 AM And what the hell does JP2 know about banjo music? If he's judgin' I'm outta here. Set us another pint of vodka and Apple Hooch there, love! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Shane MacGowan Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:41 AM Would you quit yappin', Tom! The way, you're goin' I think I might ask you to leave The Popes and I'll draft JP2 in as your replacement. And I should know ... I've heard him play and he can belt out The Kesh Jig like a demon. And you want to hear him flaking out the full Ballydesmond set! A genius! An' I asked him how he came to be so good and he says it's in his blood. You see we've misheard his name for ages. We all think he's called John Paul Two. Bollocks is he! He's called John Paul O'TOOLE! It's just his Polish accent that's confusing him. So fire away, there, Johnny! Give us something befitting your station like "The Priest's Leap" or "The Nine Points of Roguery". |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,911/NORAID Wall Street Liberation Front Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:42 AM And can you tell us who'll be handling the North American merchandising for "The Drumcree MegaSession (c) For World Peace and Mutual Understanding" Tour of the Universe 2002? It's been nothin' but Bud Lite for us here in NY since the Guinness festival pulled up short of the harbor. We're flush from the capital gains we made in the last bi-ennium's political contributions, so we're looking to set up some new enterprises. We hear the Republic has a suitable climate for off-shore enterprises. Yours, Heinz Back At Ya American Ireland Fund
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Drumcree MegaSession Enterprises Limited Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:52 AM Tour? Listen carefully, folks ... the MegaSession does not tour. Like Woodstock this is a one-off event, rooted in this venerable place. Besides which I doubt if most of the featured musicians will survive the experience of contributing to this phenomenon. If the music doesn't get them, the buckie will! Except for Mairéad Ni Mhaoinaigh ... cos she's as tough as oul' boots underneath that winsome smile!
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,The First International Church Of Wolfgang . Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:56 AM Are you there? To move us to our new home. Where we may better serve you? Speak to us, wise one! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Give Ireland Back to the Wall StreetIrish Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:57 AM Everyone has their price, DMSEL! Apparently, you missed Woodstuck" The Towering Inferno? Some things can't be faked, but we know that with that lot of musicians in the tent you'll have no problem signing them for the Superbowl XXXVII. Paul McC |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Give Ireland Back to the Wall StreetIrish Date: 04 Feb 02 - 10:57 AM Everyone has their price, DMSEL! Apparently, you missed Woodstuck" The Towering Inferno? Some things can't be faked, but we know that with that lot of musicians in the tent you'll have no problem signing them for the Superbowl XXXVII. Paul McC |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,John Paul O'Toole Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:00 AM Yer right Shane... I'll show those bocks a 'ting or two.... I'll start me off with Father O'Flynn followed by two o' me oun...The Transubstantiation Reel and The Bishop of Galway's Favourite... Barney...could ye lend me yer Paragon fer a moment...? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,911/NORAID Wall Street Liberation Front Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:01 AM We're titling the tour "Our Faithful Fathers Let Freedom Sing" BTW. And we're doing up ten million US flags in orange and green. Like it or not, this is what you get out of Ireland when you just add water.
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Drumcree MegaSession Enterprises Limited Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:03 AM Well ... We'll talk turkey with ya ... Get one of your people to talk to one of my people. If you haven't got people, get one of my people to get you one of your people. A pleasure doing business with you, Mr Enron. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:07 AM We've got more people refusing to testify before Congress, than Shane has DTs. Congressional Investigation Question of the Day: What Would Sean O'Riada Do? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Big Ian Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:09 AM I'm not havin' oul Johnny Red-Socks get the better of me in this! Peter ... would you ask Sammy to give us a lend of his Gold Tone? I'll show him what for ... first up "The Protestant Boys" and then if it's self-compositions he wants, I'll give him "The Dour Reel" and "The Whore Of Babylon". |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Gerry Adams Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:12 AM Martin ... I'm not having Big Ian get one over on us. Would you ask Mitchell to give us a lend of his Gibson? Right ... I'll give them "The Repeal Of The Union" and "The Home Ruler". And if it's self-compositions they're after, I'll give them "The Bit Of Dentistry". |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,John Walker Lindh Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:16 AM I wanted to set the record straight, and sing the Ballad of Pancho and Lefty before the Senate Armed Services Committee, but they won't let me out of my undisclosed location. We were hoping your people could intervene on Bertie's behalf with Dick Cheney's men. We understand Bertie hasn't heard from the White House since George left for Jerusalem. Since the DMEL is all about peace and understanding, we were hoping you could explain again to Bertie why we can't we all just get along, and why Dick Cheney always has to have things unilaterally his way. Dick promises not to tell Congress who you are, or what you said. In fact, I belive the exact words were: "So fuckin' sue me GAO!" |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Seamus Mallon Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:17 AM John ... Could you not come out of retirement for a while. Adams is threatening to steal "The Home Ruler" off us. Could you not do your own composition ... "All Things In Moderation"? I'd lend you my Epiphone, only Enda Scahill borrowed it for the shoot-out between him and Barney and I never seen sight of it again, the thieving wee shite! You could ask Brid for a loan of her Gremlin 22-inch. It's not great, but it'll do! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Bertie Aherne Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:18 AM Jaysus get Dick Spring to get Christie Moore to lend me his Louden and his Gibson Flying V. Tonight Matthew I'm going to sing 'Four Green Fields'. Ride On ride on |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Daniel O'Donnell Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:23 AM Er ... I don't know you from a goat, there John! But if you're carrying any disco biscuits or kung fu stars or even a line or two of fiddler's elbow, you can sing us any song you like. As long as it isn't Okie From Muskogee. Or "The Fightin' Side Of Me". Etc. You see we have our own bigots to contend with here, surprise, surprise! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Enya Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:28 AM Ah l'ave him, Daniel and come back over here and give me anawr wee squeeze. I hear your man Walker's no crack at all. Doesn't even take a drink.
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Daniel O'Donnell Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:31 AM He'd be no good for a night out with Bell, then. Jaysus ... would you look at thon man neckin' anawr bottle of Buckie. I don't know where he puts it! I reckon it's only the speed that keeps him upright. He can fair play thon harp though ... drunk or sober ... I heard him picking a few Van Halen numbers last night and he was scorchin', man! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Johnny Walker Red Offense/Defense Committee Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:34 AM Sure, they aren't telling stories about the lad now, but before he went away to school and grew the beard, I had him up to the flat in Temple Bar, he drank me under the table and then leapt off the balcony. I have to say, us wee girls are feeling more than a bit left out of the "That Side of the Atlantic Sessions" Yours From a Distance, Nancy Griffiths |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Maire Clannad Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:41 AM I wouldn't worry about it Nance ... The sister's just done a great version of "Once In A Very Blue Moon" with an oul' sampled dolphin track as accompaniment. She's a fockin' geg, thon one! And they tell me Shane MacGowan and Van Morrison are gonny do a version of "Speed Of The Sounny Loneliness" bdfore the night's out. And while I know it's not one of yours, you'll be forever associated with it for me! (Aaaaaah!) Now where's thon wee hoor Bell! He's only after nickin' my stash, the wee shite! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Triona Ni Domhnaill Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:48 AM It's all right Maire. I got your stash off him! Have you seen our Micheál anywhere? He said he was goin' up to get me a vodka and coke and that was two hours ago! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Tannoy Announcement Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:52 AM Would competitors in the unintelligible singing competition please make their way to the front of the stage. That's Shane MacGowan, Van Morrison, Terry Woods, Cathy Jordan ... please proceed to the front of the stage. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Wasted Again In Dollywood Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:58 AM Well you fellers better wise up and listen to my girl Mairead, or me and my Nashville girls are gonna hafta be kickin' yer butts all the way down that Drumcree holler! Mairead honey, sing Big Ian that line from Barbry Allen in Irish again, woncha? Such a purty soundin little thing, ain't she? Did I tell you my folks was hill people too, just like y'all up there on Drumcree? And look, there's Emmylou now. Don't she look like the Shan Van Vocht just walked thru her! Bringin' all that Starvin' Kathleen back to her homeys, ain't she? Listen up you fellas! No more blonde jokes, hear me? Mine's just a wig, but that little wisp o' smoke Mairead here might take it personal. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Phil Cunningham Date: 04 Feb 02 - 12:18 PM Wot the fok happened to me MBE? Don't you know who I am? Waddya mean there's no more room for egos in the tent? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Red Rover Red Rover Send Connie Dover Over Date: 04 Feb 02 - 12:22 PM This cowgirl can attest to the fact that it's only his ego that's big. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Johnny Adair Date: 05 Feb 02 - 02:16 AM An' there I was, goin' over the town clock, and the Bann bridge strikin' eight, gettin' the noseful of Denny's in one ear, and them shower of bastards desecrating the hill, in the other. Me oul' biy was right, ye know: You don't walk The Walk, until you talk the talk. Where the fucks McKeever? He plays The Kesh in E minor! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,The ghost of Billy Wright Date: 05 Feb 02 - 02:32 AM D'ya know. If I was alive, I'd be turning in my grave just about now. Daniel O' Donnel? Ha! He knows as much about singin', as my arse knows about snipe shooting! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Miss Adrian Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:48 AM All right, boys, settle down! Miss Adrian's in the house and we're all going to have a nice time together, aren't we? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Miss Helen Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:50 AM Excuse me for being pedantic, but isn't it spelt Miss A-D-R-I-E-N-N-E? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Adrian Dunbar Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:52 AM There's no flies on you Miss Helen ... it was me in a dress, trying to have yez all on! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Aisling McGuckian Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:53 AM I thought you were comin' down wi' Neeson? Where's he at? |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Adrian Dunbar Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:56 AM Nah ... I got a lift with me oul' mate, James Galway. Liam said he'd try to thumb a lift with Amanda Burton. I saw her at the Saintfield Roundabout, stickin' her thumb out and wi' Neeson hunkerin' down behind a boartree bush. Galway stopped the car and just as Burton drew level, he pulled off and I did a big moonie out the back windy. Fuckin class laugh! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Frank Carson Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:58 AM Well sure, when you're here, give us one of them oul Josef Locke numbers like you sung in thon fillum a few years back. Thon was a class wee movie, by the way! Fuckin weeker! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Roy Walker Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:59 AM I didn't think much of it! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Tannoy Announcement Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:17 AM Is there a doctor in the house? If so could they make their way to the sick bay. A young lady by the name of Jane Falloon has turned up with a pimple on her nose like a balloon. It needs immediate lancing if she's to avoid blood poisoning. Also ... if there's a dentist in the house, could they accompany the doctor? By her breath 'tis plain to see that this young lady's had scallions for her tea. Bring extra-minty toothpaste and a gallon of Listerine. |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Catering Department Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:18 AM |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Catering Department Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:25 AM We'll start again ... Eamonn Holmes tried to ate the han' aff me! Today's Menu STARTERS Hairy Eel a la Derryadd Bog-hole Pike Goujons ENTREES Nettle Champ Scallion Champ Spuds and Raw Egg Vegetable Roll and Sodie Bread Veda and Cheese DESSERT Apple Bread Gravy Rings Cookies with Red Stuff WINE LIST Buckfast 2002 Mundies 2002 Scotch Mac 2002 QC 2002 OTHER BEVERAGES Purple Tennents Special Brew Diamond White Watermelon Hooch (for the ladies) Baileys (for Eamonn Holmes) |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Father O'Donovan Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:31 AM Jaysus ... but this place is a den of iniquity! It's all I can do, by wailin' into them with my walkin' stick, to keep the Girls of Banbridge and The Rollickin' Boys Around Tandragee from gettin' together and indulgin' in God know's what manner of carnal divilment! If yez were to get on yer knees, ye bundle of haythins, and say yer beads, it'd be better for yez in the long run! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Paddy Moloney Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:25 AM (Dressed in WWII combats, with monocle and waxed moustache, with chanter tucked under arm in manner of swagger stick. Lesser Chieftains are assembled before him. Derek Bell is conspicuous by his absence. Behind him is a large map of North Armagh.) OK! Settle down, chaps! The worst has happened ... as I feared it might. Bell is running dangerously low on drugs. Now, God knows he's an eejit ON drugs, but if they wear off altogether, then anything could happen. Now let's recap. Bell was a mild-mannered, docile chap till we made thon album with the Rolling Stones on it. I don't know what went on between him and Keith Richards - but I can hazard a pretyy damned good guess. Yez all know what happened when we put thon album to bed! Bell was forever hangin' aroun' backstage at Napalm Death reunions and there were rumours that he was goin' to start playing guitar for Marilyn Manson. (Only that Cradle of Filth got him on-board to guest on the album they were makin' at the time, I think we might have lost him.) But them boys just indulged his oul' drug habit. And now he's a fiend. But we've got to keep him goin' till this oul' sesh is over and then we can book him back into The Priory or the ETU at Craigavon ... Which is where you come in! We need to keep him supplied. So Conneff (he gestures at the map) I want you to scour Lurgan. Go into every seedy pub and see what you can get your hands on. Fay ... you do Portydown. Keane ... Maghery and points west. Molloy ... Armagh. I'll take on Craigavon. Let's get to it, lads! There'll be an extra fiver in his pay-packet for the man that delivers the goods! Be careful out there!
|
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Johnny Logan Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:29 AM Daniel ... What's up with you, boy? You look pure punctured! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Daniel O'Donnell Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:32 AM I'm done, right enough, Johnny. I've just spent all night in an orgy with Cherish the Ladies and my tadger's in raw beef, so it is! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: GUEST,Johnny Logan Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:34 AM That's terrible, that is! I've had the same many's a time. I mind one night I had a bit of an all night ree-ra wi' the Corrs. The next day I just plastered the boyo in Sudocrem and wrapped it up with a bit of cling-film and I was right as rain by dinnertime! |
|
Subject: RE: Campsite at Drumcree II From: Fibula Mattock Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:59 AM Forgot to add a new wee link in earlier: Campsite at Drumcree III. Now we're suckin' diesel! |
| Share Thread: |