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Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End

GUEST,Dicon 10 Feb 02 - 03:14 PM
Jeri 10 Feb 02 - 03:23 PM
Jeri 10 Feb 02 - 03:30 PM
GUEST,Me, duh 29 Dec 10 - 01:45 AM
GUEST,Gadaffi 29 Dec 10 - 04:33 AM
My guru always said 29 Dec 10 - 05:24 AM
Gurney 29 Dec 10 - 10:05 PM
Jeri 29 Dec 10 - 10:15 PM
Nigel Parsons 30 Dec 10 - 04:18 AM
Dead Horse 30 Dec 10 - 07:25 AM
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Subject: Help to find lrics to ' A Wizards Staff
From: GUEST,Dicon
Date: 10 Feb 02 - 03:14 PM

I was recomended that I should enquire here for the lyrics of the Terry Pratchett song. A Wizards KStaff has a gnob on the End. Sounds odd, but apparently, there ARE lyrics somewhere out the.

Many pthanks Jackdaw dicon@jackdaw-crafts.co.uk


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Subject: Lyr Add: A WIZARD'S STAFF HAS A KNOB ON THE END
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Feb 02 - 03:23 PM

Here you go. Lyrics and notes from Heather Wood's Web Page


A WIZARD'S STAFF HAS A KNOB ON THE END

A wizard's staff has a knob on the end
It never will buckle; it never will bend
He cherishes it, and he calls it his friend,
And he frequently takes it in hand.

A wizard's staff is the source of his power.
He checks up on it every hour on the hour
And he's never surprised when it turns to a flower --
The fairest throughout all the land.

The staff of a wizard with honour is crowned.
Without it a wizard will rarely be found.
'Tis big and its round and weighs three to the pound
And without it he's truly unmanned.

The staff of a wizard can do mighty deeds.
It protects him from harm and attends to his needs,
Provides him with banquets upon which he feeds
And potions on which he gets canned.

Whenever a wizard is lonely or sad,
Or feeling dejected, or puzzled, or mad,
He turns to his staff, and things don't seem so bad --
By it he is never trepanned.

The staff of a wizard is dear to his heart
The source and the succour of his magic art.
They travel together, are never apart,
A relationship few understand.

A wizard is rarely of heroic build
Were it not for his staff, he would surely be killed.
By demons or monsters his blood would be spilled
All over the pitiless sand.

A wizard in thought, word, and deed should be chaste
If he is not, he's considered disgraced.
Although in his dreams he is often embraced
By ladies both lissome and tanned.

The staff of a wizard is polished with care.
He anoints it with spices and unguents rare,
Bedecks it with silver and jewels most fair,
And on feast days he has it japanned.

* A wizard when young has a staff that is small.
It's puny and weak, ineffective withal.
It grows with his power until it stands tall
As his fame and his glory expand.

*The staff of a wizard can hold many spells
For finding lost objects or dowsing new wells
For banishing demons to bottomless hells
Or bringing them back on demand.

A wizard's staff can do manifold tricks
To puzzle the nobles and fuddle the hicks
It rescues the wizard from many a fix --
It is totally at his command.

*When a wizard is old, and is starting to fade
He looks on his staff that with cunning he made
The crown of his life and the tool of his trade
And together they make their last stand.

Based on hints from Terry Pratchett in various books. Usually performed by Nanny Ogg.
* These three verses appear on the CD From The Discworld with music by Dave Greenslade.
Virgin CDV 2738, 1994
©Heather Wood 1994


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Subject: RE: Help to find lrics to ' A Wizards Staff
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Feb 02 - 03:30 PM

I e-mailed it, just because I was feeling nice today.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the En
From: GUEST,Me, duh
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 01:45 AM

You can find the lyrics if u just google a wizards staff has a knob on the end. There's even a YouTube of someone singing it :-)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End
From: GUEST,Gadaffi
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 04:33 AM

Nanny is also heard singing a few verses of it in the 1997 TV film 'Wyrd Sisters' produced by Cosgrove Hall, at the Hogswatch party scene gatecrashed by Granny Weatherwax and Magrat preluding the summoning of the demon.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End
From: My guru always said
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 05:24 AM

Once upon a time I had a CD of all the songs to do with Terry Pratchett, but it has disappeared in the mists of time. I miss it and I should stop lending things to people...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End
From: Gurney
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 10:05 PM

I'll bet someone has written a set of words for 'The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All,' too.....


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 10:15 PM

Heather Wood again. I seem to remember hearing a verse on how a hedgehog may be buggered.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 04:18 AM

Or, the obvious parody:
Bill Clinton's knob has his staff on the end!


I'll ge my coat!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: A Wizard's Staff Has a Knob on the End
From: Dead Horse
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:25 AM

Reminds me of an old army joke.....
Regimental Sergeant Major inspecting his troops on parade, stick under his arm as per regulations.
He spies a chap looking less than perfect in the front rank, marches up to him and pokes him with said stick, saying (loudly)
"There is a piece of sh1t on the end of my stick"
Soldier replies (meekly) "Not on my end, sir"
(Exit soldier - accompanied by escort) :-)


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