Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!

Subject: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: little john cameron
Date: 15 Feb 02 - 06:09 PM

Musicians are such trusting souls.Here are a few I cpoied from Don Walsh's web site.

The booking is definite.
We can fix it in the mix.
My agent will take care of it.
The roadie took care of it.
She'll be backstage after the show.
She doesn't date musicians.
She's just a friend.
The club will provide the PA and lights
We'll have it ready before tonight.
We'll have it back next week.
We'll have the posters ready tomorrow.
We'll let you know
We'll be there tonight to check out the band.
The place was packed
It's on the truck
I had nothing to do with your marrage breaking up.
This coke hasn't been cut.
Someone will be there early to let you in.
I've been playing for twenty years.
I'm with the band.
The band drinks free.
You'll get paid tonight - no problem.
You'll have no problem fitting that speaker in the trunk of your car
We'll have plenty of time for a sound check.
That's one of Jimi's old Strats.
I am singing on key, the PA is screwing up.
I've played there before.
We have a great gig in Vegas next month.
You won't have any trouble finding the place.
I just use this little amp for small gigs. I've got a Marshall stack at home.
The show starts at eight.
I'm sure it will work.
Your tickets will be at the door.
It sounds in tune to me.
I checked it myself.
The spot light will be on you during your solo.
The stage mix sounds just like the house mix.
I really love the band.
Don't worry you'll be the headliner
I've only been playing for a year.
He'll work the door for us.
You won't have to play any requests.
We'll split the money six ways.
They want us as the opening act.
Sounds good to me.
You can stay at my place indefinitely.
We can turn down the volume if it's too loud.

ljc

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 15 Feb 02 - 07:18 PM

"The checks in the mail." Bob

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: DonMeixner
Date: 15 Feb 02 - 08:08 PM

It doesn't burn any oil.

The heater will blow you outta there.

I'll only go in a little way.

Can they use your sound durning the break? They won't touch the settings.

He said I could use J-200 while you guys were on break.

You guys sound just like the record.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: kendall
Date: 15 Feb 02 - 08:19 PM

We dont do contracts, but, I've never stiffed anyone before. The sound man ran off with the till, so, no one gets paid.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 02 - 08:37 PM

I learned this one when I was on the Rolling Thunder Revue...

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Dicho (Frank Staplin)
Date: 15 Feb 02 - 08:39 PM

It will be fixed by tonight

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 15 Feb 02 - 11:37 PM

It just needs a tune up!

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 01:23 AM

"let's buy three big white fisherman's sweaters so we'll LOOK like Irish Folksingers"!

Remember John?

Rick

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 03:26 AM

It's just a short walk from the station/bus stop....

It's alright, I never drink before a gig.....

Ah, I'm pished now but you should hear me when I'm sober!!

I had a request for this during the break....

Hey babe, my house is closer than the place you're staying..... (and here I am 12 years later to prove THAT one worked!)

Of course I'll give (absent member) the money.....

Sorry guys, the printers made a mess of the poster and only I appear on it......

Yeah, course we play acoustic,

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Jack The Lad
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 05:41 AM

Of course I won't tell anyone what you're paying me.

It's just a routine check- you won't have any problems with the licence.

It's ok they're working for me.

Noone will ever know- they'll never find the body.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 07:09 AM

It'll be okay right there, I'll keep an eye on it.

If the crowd is rockin, I'll pay you extra to stay on.

I don't know why the radio station changed the booking hours, but it's too late now.

I'll move those tables back just before you start.

I'll have a table reserved for you to eat at afterward.

No, the crowd here is really friendly.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 08:30 AM

That's the banjo player's Ferrari.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 01:07 PM

Hi Sham. Ironically, your "lie" is often the truth these days. On any given day you can see very wealthy coprorate guys in their forties and fifties buying Gibson Mastertone Banjos (in the 5-6000 thousand dollar range) at our local music store. Yup, they can't play worth beans, but they sure CAN afford the best. Silly buggers went and had CARREERS instead of being folkies!

Cheers

Rick

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 01:16 PM

It's a sell out.

We'll sort everthing out for you.

the best one is:

Don't worry

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 01:39 PM

That's the Ferrari driver's banjo? *Smoles*

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: technission
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 01:41 PM

"Just put it on your credit card, the accountant will be at the production office tomorrow and will write you a check."

"There's plenty of petty cash - the producer just had to go pick it up at the Fedex counter and he'll be here before we wrap."

"Just give us a break on your rate this time, we're going to be shooting a lot more of these and you'll be part of the permanent crew."

"Don't worry about your house [apartment, office, store] - it's part of our job to make sure that everything will be left exactly as we found it."

"All the rest of the crew is working on a flat rate, and we never go over 10 hours!"

"We can't afford a boom operater - you'll have to borrow one of the grips or P.A.s ."

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 04:32 PM

I don't mind criticism if it is constructive..........

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Willie-O
Date: 16 Feb 02 - 05:08 PM

The all time winner:

"It'll be good exposure."

Brrrrr.....

W-O

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: The Shambles
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 03:26 AM

My girlfriend lives with me, at my flat.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 03:43 AM

Oh you're a harmonica player? Stick around and maybe you can sit in on the last set.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 03:57 AM

If I put it halfway in you won't get pregnant.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 04:02 AM

I'll give you 20% after you get us the gigs There's no financial report for me to show you there's no money now, but later on you'll make the big bucks, the real money Just put up with this until we get that grant, contract, that new stapler in June July September October November I never talk to him I never kissed him I never slept with him I never met his mother and father I used birth control I don't know what happened

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 04:35 AM

Yeah, of course we'll get you a freebie....

Sure, I'll call you tomorrow.....

Don't worry about getting pregnant, I'm always careful...

No, I don't have a girlfriend/wife anywhere else, there's only you....

LTS

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 06:21 AM

No worries, the Electrican said he`ll b here in a wee while, I KNOW WHAT BLOODY TIME IT IS, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE THE BLOODY TONES. Paddy Joe.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 06:24 AM

Is this true?

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 06:36 AM

Mr Red, This is a mild rebuke, some of the old Hall owners in Ireland thought they were doing you a favour by engaging you. HOUL ON TO YER DRAWERS, DO YOU THINK THIS PLACE RUNS ON FRESH AIR, [when asking for a wee bit more heat]. The Drumcree Thread boyo`s would have more than a few lovely memories. Paddy Joe.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: leprechaun
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 10:44 AM

This guy's muy pesado, he only sells pounds.

It's fresh from the lab, that's why he's charging $10,000.

He said he's eating dinner, he'll deliver it by seven.

No, I don't have any needles on me.

It's just him and his girlfriend in the house.

I saw two pounds of crank in there just last week.

The dog is friendly.

I can get all kinds of information for you if you don't put me in jail.

I can help you get the big guy.

Ever since you busted me they won't answer my calls.

But give me some time, I can get back in with them.

No, I haven't been dealing. People just tell me things.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Dave Wynn
Date: 17 Feb 02 - 10:52 AM

Must be the monitors...sounds great out there.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 09:49 AM

"I forgive you."

"You don't have to give me anything for __________ (fill in the blank: Christmas, Valentine's Day, my birthday, our anniversary)"

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Kim C
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 11:02 AM

You'll get lunch/dinner/refreshments.

Sure, we'll let you know way ahead of the day what time you're going on, so you can get your publicity out.

We'll make sure you get listed in the program.

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: The Pooka
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 12:21 PM

I'm just curious

I don't want to say anything, but

I had nothing to do with it

Oh you haven't changed a bit

Well, all *I* know is

Yeah I hear ya

Well I'm just saying

No pun intended

Don't take this the wrong way

All the best now

Look I wouldn't lie to ya


There's always an exception to every rule, including this one.
(and, written on both sides - )
The statement on the other side of this paper is false.

(Hm guess those last two are not so much Lies as a couple o'themthere Condundrodrumcreeminimumiums.)

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: The Shambles
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 12:30 PM

It's nothing personal, it's just that you don't fit in with the musical direction the band is headed....

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: M.Ted
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 01:23 PM

"There were a lot of expenses"

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Kim C
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 01:29 PM

at first: "This will be a great opportunity for you to play some of your original songs."

later: "I'm the leader of the group, and this is to showcase MY songs..."

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 01:58 PM

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you"

"I like you as a person, but..."

"I'm not interested in getting into a serious relationship with anybody right now"

"I forgot I'd already booked you when I booked that other band"

"I can't pay you much, but the tips are great here"

"The place was packed wall-to-wall when that other band was here last week"

"The other folkies who perform here say they're just doing it for the love of the music, they don't want to be paid anything for it so why should you?"

"You know how it is..."

(From the fellow showcase musician who talks loudly with bar-buddies all the way through your showcase set): "You sounded great!"

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 09:40 PM

My door is always open

We depend upon our loyal employees

Taking the company's stock in lieu of payment just makes good sense

Don't worry, it isn't loaded

Yeah man, I'm gonna buy fast eddie's chopper as soon as I get my tax refund

I used to have a 100 inch stroker but it got ripped off

Nah, those eggs are fresh

Subject: RE: Lies,lies and more Lies!!!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Feb 02 - 10:15 PM

the invitation lie:

"The party starts at 7:00"

as YOU arrive at 7:45.."umm...hi...you're the first one here"