BS: Now They're Getting Nasty

Subject: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: sophocleese
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 03:59 PM

Just got this sent to me e-mail. Thought it was fun.

Subject: Turning the Taliban into atheists

Subject: French Intellectuals Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban of No God

The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of Taliban zealots by proving the (non-existence of God).

Elements of the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets', will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential anomie among the enemy.

Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of (coffee shops). There they will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's (abandonment). They will be accompanied by a number of heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers' ears every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.

Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated wildly and said, "There, take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I am talking."

Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the films of Alfred Hitchcock.

However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.

Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to the effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to propagate his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe.

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:08 PM

What a Hilarious posting!!!!! It's worth trying. It never worked on me, though. I guess I'm too thick-headed to follow the drift of their argument.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: alanabit
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:11 PM

Have these 'ere coffee shops got anything in common with the Amsterdam variety? Talk about hauling coals to Newcastle mate...

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: Justa Picker
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:12 PM

I found it humorous.

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: Fortunato
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:29 PM

The very idea of leaving Paris is absurd. There is NO EXIT. Man cannot play a determinate social role. However, the impossibility of this attempt to become a conscious thing --in Sartre's terminology, a for-itself-in-itself-- does not prevent you humans from being irresistibly drawn to undertake it. And so, "On to Afghanistan!" with you. I wait for Godot. (He'll be back)

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:45 PM

Ah yes...mental masturbation versus religious fanaticism...I expect it will be either a standoff or a bloodbath. This is the West at its MOST despicable and ruthless! This will make daisycutters look like pop tarts.

Existentialist philosophers are themselves the most persuasive evidence of the meaninglessness they ascribe to Life, which will swallow them effortlessly in a very short time, like a big frog swallows a gnat. But in the meantime, there are those heartbreakingly beautiful girlfriends to take solace in...and what could possibly be cooler than utter futility coupled with a sense of exquisite ennui?

Quite an amusing post. Maybe they'll all destroy each other (*crossing fingers...).

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: SharonA
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:35 PM

"Hauling coals to Newcastle"??

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:49 PM

SharonA

Hauling coals to Newcastle (surrounded by coalfields and collieries until they were closed down - refer to songs by Jez Lowe and others) is equivalent to taking sand to Saudi Arabia. How did sand get in your hair? Osama bin Laden put it there (hey, the last boat's a leaving, call away the dies oh).

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: artbrooks
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 06:24 PM

The hell with the Sartre' paras...where can I get one of those girls in black leotards?

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 06:36 PM

Go to Paris, Art. Seek out the left bank. Act cool and distant, and paint bizarre abstracts, using live poodles to apply the paints to the canvas. If anyone asks you anything, give them a crptic answer which sounds like it means a whole lot, but actually doesn't mean anything.

Inside of a month you'll have French girls coming out of your ears...so to speak.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 06:38 PM

Could they please send some of those guys (and some of the girlfriends, too) to infiltrate the Bush administration and our "Shadow Government" here in the US? Pretty please? With a cigar on top?

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 09:51 PM

I didn't figure you as the cigar type, Carol. :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 10:09 PM

Well, you never know, LH. However, I was speaking in this case about maybe having the girlfriends employ a creative use of the cigars in order to (*ahem*) compromise the, erm... gentlemen... in question.

Subject: RE: BS: Now They're Getting Nasty
From: mack/misophist
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 10:41 PM

Dear Little Hawk: Life is indeed meaningless. And the fact that it is, is meaningless. If you want meaning, make up your own.