 sj |
||
|
||
BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome?
|
|
|
Subject: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: BobS Date: 12 Mar 02 - 09:21 PM I started playing open mics about 4 months ago..maybe 2-3 times a month. My first time was just horrible. I thought my sweat would short out the preamp on my guitar. I have had a couple of "ok' sets...one I think I was actually pretty good. But the last couple of times I was so nervous I could barely eek out the words to the 1st song. It is SOOOO frustrating to not be able to play and sing like I know I can (alone in my basement!) ..... does it ever get better? Bob
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: GUEST Date: 12 Mar 02 - 09:28 PM Yes, keep at it. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Tweed Date: 12 Mar 02 - 09:33 PM I get it pretty bad too but came to the realization that it's just a load of nervous energy that needs unloading. I try just to focus it into whatever I'm gonna be playin' and it turns into some sort of elated high when it's all in place and feels pretty darn neat. Also I recommend three to four ounces of Crown Royale mixed half and half with one of the major Cola brands for maximum benefit and control during the focusing-in period. No other brand will quite do the job, so accept no substitutes;~) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: ddw Date: 12 Mar 02 - 09:40 PM Tweed, Sacrilege! Crown Royal should be sipped — neat. No ice, no water and definitely no cola. Just sip and feel the peppery burst of flavor. ;>) david |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: sophocleese Date: 12 Mar 02 - 09:41 PM Well you're not alone with stage fright. Many musicians suffer from it. Different people find different ways of coping with it. Terry above seems to use alcohol but I stay far away from it if I'm going to sing. Sure it makes me more relaxed, it also sends my tuning out of whack. I memorize everything as firmly as possible so even when distracted I can still play/sing. I would suggest not trying anything too complicated for awhile until you get your nerves under control. If you're doing three songs start with a real easy one to calm yourself down. Mostly just keep working at it, try to think of the music instead of the audience at first and then expand your awareness to them as you get more comfortable. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Bobert Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:01 PM Now the ol' bobert agrees with Tweed. A little lubrication helps. Now "little" is a relative term. Now four ounces of Crown Royal might be a tad to much fir me but now the Tweezer, he's been known to put that much on his breakfast cereal. Now I don't do much performing anymore but there was a time when I went at it pretty good and there are a few tricks. Sophocleese brought up one important one. Start with the song that you could do in you sleep. And if it's got some emotion to it all the better 'cause by the end of it you will have worked out the nerviousness. Another trick is in your intro to the song. Here you have an opportunity to tell a little story and you can mix in a little self defracation. "Danged, you all as nervious as me?" or "Anyone else here who just threw up in the bathroom?" Talk about the song you are going to lead off with and as you do you'll find yourself relaxing. Right, Tweed? Tweed? Danged, the boy used to be able to handle 4 shots. Look at Tweezer over in the corner fast asleep.... TWEED! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Sorcha Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:15 PM Yep, had it, done that. "Lubrication" does NOT help me at all.....just makes me all bumbly. My first public gig (when I was really, REALLY nervous) the cops showed up looking for me. Seems my son at age 2 had run away from the babysitter and tried to find me.
He knew where I was, and hit the Interstate. Couple of bikers picked him up and took him to the Cop Shop. He told the Cops where his mom was, so they came looking. Found me, I retrieved him--but nothing will ever quite equal that for "stage fright".
I was actually less than a quarter mile away as the crow flies, but he didn't try that. He walked to the Interstate Ramp instead. I also had a bit of stage fright several times after that because of my "timing"--never sure if I was right or not--and tended to rely on the back-up/rythym, but it never was as bad as the first time. How could it be?? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: 53 Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:17 PM Try to find a place or a thing to focus on, then once you find it, then give it all you have. If at first you don't suceed, then try and try again, and it will pass with time, I know by experience. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: khandu Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:22 PM I am an adept solo guitarist, I have confidence in my playing abilities. I know that when I play, the audience will enjoy it. But I rarely play solo in public because of stagefright/terror! Of course, this has limited my musical career drastically. I often play with others publically and, at those times, I do not experience such terrors. I am totally relaxed! But, alone (which is how I play my best) I feel naked and exposed. I actually shake with fear! This is extremely frustrating, especially in view of the fact that I was a minister for many years, preaching before some large crowds, and never experienced stagefright on the pulpit! I have no advice to offer you, but I wanted to share this with you to let you know that you are not alone by any means! khandu |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: MMario Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:25 PM From my experience I would say yes; and no. Overcome it, in as have I gotten over it? No - Overcome it as can get through it? Yes. But I still may shake for up to three hours after a fifteen minute set! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: BobS Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:27 PM You know I was thinking tonite...its almost like golf...sometimes I have gotten up and done ok....but I don't know why. And then the next time I just stink like hell. ...maybe I need to keep my head down.... Bob |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: michaelr Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:31 PM Bob - ya just gotta stick with it and work through it; it gets better. I've been performing for over 15 years, and I'm still nervous before a gig. I go into this head space I've taken to calling "gig mode" where I'm sort of withdrawn and distracted from the people around me (my wife hates gig mode!), and mentally I'm going through my equipment ("did I forget anything?"), the newer songs ("what's the first line?"), and the general circumstances ("do they feed us at this one?"). By the second or third song, I'm usually relaxing and able to get into the music, be part of the band, and have fun. Hope this helps. Michael |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Maryrrf Date: 12 Mar 02 - 10:40 PM It does get better although there's always a little bit of nervousness for the first couple of songs. But ask yourself this - what really is going to happen if you're terrible or you mess up? Nothing. It will be quickly forgotten and passed over and you can chalk it up to experience and do better next time! I have "messed up" i.e. forgotten words, chords, etc. and just continued on. Try to feel that it doesn't matter that much - just to take the pressure off of yourself. Then get up there and give it your best shot! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: hesperis Date: 13 Mar 02 - 12:37 AM Yes, it can definitely go away! I'm proof of that. And what helps it is just a little technique that anyone can learn. The stage terror goes away if you recognize it for what it actually is - your desire to do well, your extra energy because it's a live show, all bundled up inside you because you haven't moved the energy where it belongs - the performance. If you get butterflies or shaky legs and hands (and especially if you get cold and shaky and your friends tell you that you didn't look nervous! (Grrrr, I hated that!)), then just take a few deep breaths, take the energy that is stuck and move it around in your body for a while before going on stage. Just circle it around, so that it is moving, and doesn't get stuck. Then recognize that what you thought was terror was actually the extra energy that you have been given for the performance. That same energy is the reason why live performance can be so much better than recorded performance - excitement. Passion. Blowin' them away with sheer force of energy. That's what it's given to you for. If you're not used to paying attention to your energy normally, then the extra that you get before a performance can really throw you for a loop, and then it gets stuck, and you mistake it for terror, which becomes a vicious circle. So just move the energy around, to keep it doing *something* while you're waiting for the show to start. Once the show starts, move the energy through your hands and your voice, into the performance, and into the audience, right to the back of the room. There's enough energy to do that, that's what it's for. (When you get better at dealing with the energy, let a teensy bit out as you move onstage, for a great entrance.) And you know what else? It's the people who get that energy that make the *best* live performers!!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Ebbie Date: 13 Mar 02 - 12:54 AM hesperis, that is a wonderful description of the forces at work. I've saved it and will print it out for a musician friend to read; I think it will help us both. See, this mandolin player friend is as bad as I about solo (or even duet) playing. We meet once a week and work out tunes and songs and arrangements on the mandolin and guitar; we enjoy it a lot and sometimes we are very pleased with how we sound. But then comes my Friday night song circle and he and I will do one of the songs/tunes that we are pleased with - and fall all over it. It is absurd, we are so much alike. We haven't found an answer yet. Keep in mind that we're among friends... Grrrrrrr. In a group, onstage or off, I'm fine. I enjoy it and I like the adrenalin rush. By myself, the adrenalin overwhelms me. The strange thing is that I can speak to a large group without a problem. I'm energized and up and excited beforehand, but I do fine. It's just creative things I can't handle. Got any more techniques to share, anybody? Thanks for the thread, BobS! Ebbie |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: SeanM Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:05 AM Some people apparently never really get 'over' it, but just learn to work with it - that might be something to keep in mind. My case was working a group doing fairly amateurish theatre in front of a large crowd. I'd gotten involved, and after a few seasons of being put on stage, finally just stopped worrying about it. Amusingly enough, RECORDING scares the willies out of me. Locked up, lost range, lost lyrics - thank the powers that be for incredibly good engineers. And beer. Thank them powers for beer too. M |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Justa Picker Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:11 AM Yes. But you have to know everything you're going to sing/play so well you could do it in your sleep, or in a coma, or in any frame of mind. Eventually (and it only takes a few gigs) you'll get comfortable with the idea, allow the constraints of nerves to diminish, start to relax and, actually have fun with the audience. Learn to play to the front row...or focus in on those who are digging what you are doing and feed off of them. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Lonesome EJ Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:23 AM Cover up the little mistakes. Grin at the big ones. Makes everything easier. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: PastyJane Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:41 AM I haven't sung in public in maybe 30 years. I'm just beginning to get back to folk music and I would love to sing at an open mike session. I can't play guitar (or anything else) for s**t but I have a nice voice. I'd appreciate any suggestions on how to get rid of my nerves and how to deal with the lack of accompaniment. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: michaelr Date: 13 Mar 02 - 02:28 AM Jane - as a guitarist, I must strongly suggest that you put an end to the lack of accompaniment at once! There are lots of pickers looking to play; find one, and it may be hoped that the presence of a guitar (or other instrument) backup will help your confidence. Good luck, Michael |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 13 Mar 02 - 02:33 AM "ever overcome?" I'm lucky enough I never had to... I've never felt better than when I'm on stage... ;-) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Steve Parkes Date: 13 Mar 02 - 03:45 AM DON'T DRINK BEFORE A GIG! It will screw up your voice and your finger co-ordination and maybe prevent you from noticing; and you'll suffer just as much terror if you have to go on without a drink. Cold turkey is the only sure-fire way to handle it. Your need to perform outweighs your stage fright, and the stage fright will fade you become accustomed to performing. Everyone gets it, especially at a strange venue, but we (i.e. you and us) can handle it--just believe! Steve P.S. And you can always have that drink later. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: nutty Date: 13 Mar 02 - 03:48 AM I gained real confidence after watching Martin Carthy preparing to go on stage at Redditch festival some years ago .......... he was a nervous wreck ....... yet once he got on stage, he was marvellous. That taught me that performing is all an act - you may never get over the fear but you can learn to cover it up. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Diva Date: 13 Mar 02 - 04:01 AM I have been assured by one who knows that we need to have a bit of this stagefright because it actually helps the performance...adrenalin I suppose. I am awful..in knots before I start but as soon as I do......its ok. I am trying to apply this theory to the presentation I have to do this afternoon but this is the worse I've ever had. Diva |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Trevor Date: 13 Mar 02 - 04:51 AM I agree with Diva - if you aren't a little bit nervous you may not be concentrating as much. You can bet your boots that the day you don't feel the nerves will be the day that you're not bothered how the performance is going to come out. I'm pretty sure that alcohol is a mistake - it would be for me at any rate. Attention wandering, voice going off key big time and all the rest. I do a lot of work with people who are worried about making presentations and some of the things that help them may be of value here: Be at the venue early so you can get used to the feel, the sound and the general atmosphere of it. Deep breathing for two or three minutes before you go out is really effective for calming the body and the mind. Try and work out a ritual that you always follow as you prepare for your spot. Remember that the audience generally wishes you well - they're not out to get you! And that usually, hesperis, its true - they can't see how nervous you are. Put it in to perspective. It's fifteen minutes out of your life - if it goes wrong, well that's experience for next time isn't it. When you have the 'bad vibes monkey' on your back - you know, the one who claws at your throat so that your vocal chords make a sound like you've just breathed helium, makes your arms five feet long, cements yout to one spot on the stage - throw him into the audience. Talk to them, get comfy. Having said all this, I've got to say that the moment I face the audience is always pretty stressful, but the buzz at the end when I've got through it is well worth the pain. If all else fails, wear brown trousers and bike clips! Cheers |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Cappuccino Date: 13 Mar 02 - 04:51 AM I know I've said this before, but it's still true - remember that YOU are in command the moment you appear before them. They don't know what you're going to do - you do. You have the psychological advantage! Enjoy the power! As for drink... some years back, after playing a not so good first set with a rock band, I had a few shots at the bar during the interval. To this day I don't remember playing the second set. Now I just have one small slug before playing, just as a heart-starter. (Except when playing in church, of course... it isn't available!) Hope your presentation goes well, Diva. - ian B |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: JulieF Date: 13 Mar 02 - 05:03 AM Look If I can improve - so can you. I don't shake so much now. I can remember some words and I even remember to breathe. All the best Julie |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Steve Parkes Date: 13 Mar 02 - 05:05 AM They have wine in my church, Ian! Seriously, watch the deep breathing: after two or three you'll be hyperventilating, and that's not good for you. Try this yoga thing: take a slow d-e-e-p breath with your chest, not your diaphragm (this will lift your ribs and your shoulders); hold it for a couple of seconds, then let it out s-l-o-w-l-y ... feel your shoulders sinking--all your tension will fall away, you can feel it going; then do it all over again (no more than two breaths total). Try it right now--it really works! Steve |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Hamish Date: 13 Mar 02 - 05:24 AM Bob: A subject dear to my heart. I've assembled a few hints and tips at my web site, including Floorsinging for Beginners and First Time Nerves Yes: it does get better, but there's lots you can do to speed up the process! Good luck. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Cappuccino Date: 13 Mar 02 - 05:51 AM Those are good sites - I recommend a look at them. - Ian B |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: greg stephens Date: 13 Mar 02 - 05:59 AM I suppose I have played some thousands of gigs now and I am faily immune to it(touch wood0, butI can still get the shakes before new material or before getting going with an audience I am afraid will be hostile or uninterested.Tell yourself they will be interested! Luckily it normally goes when you start playing, something to concentrate. Same thing when you've got someone seasick on a boat...get them to steer and it passes in a jiffy in most cases. I had to act in a show recently that I'd written the music for, and acting is something I dont normally do. Now thistime it really kicked in.I was shaking like a leaf, even while performing! Fellow performerssaid they could see my legs vibrating during a solo song. But someone in the audience said it was nice to see me relaxed and obviously enjoying myself, durig the very same song. But Ican tell you I was very glad the costume for the show was brown trousers. You'll be all right....start with an easy one and go for it. And sometime, when you've got aminute, ask me totell you about the night Jimmy shat in the bear costume! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: KingBrilliant Date: 13 Mar 02 - 06:06 AM The nervousness drastically reduces with time - at least it has for me. When I started at open mics & sessions I'd sit there terrified of my turn approaching - which meant I missed out on what everyone else was doing. Now it bothers me not one bit - though sometimes I get nervous if I'm going to do something new or extra important - or if I'm talking to someone else who is nervous themselves... I try to have one "throwaway" song to do first - something that is in exactly the right pitch for me & is easy to sing etc. So then I don't need to be nervous at all about that one. Once I've done that one, I'm in performerly mode & so don't get stressed about the more difficult ones. I very rarely drink if I am going to sing, as I like to have total control over what I am doing, and I like to change elements of the song as I go along & I couldn't do that successfully after a drink (I'd wander off and never get back to the right tune/timing). The fact that I am sober helps me to NOT be nervous, but dint of the fact that I know I am in control. The more confident I am the more in control I am - so you can end up with the opposite of a vicious circle (what would that be called?). Sometimes, though, for no good reason, I'll have a night where I just know nothing is going to work right, and I feel nervous, and perform poorly. I try to appreciate that these are isolated glitches, not a trend. So don't assume that because you are nervous one night you will inevitably feel the same the next time. Similary - just because you have a fantastic time one night, don't assume that everything thereafter has to match or exceed it. PastyJane - unacompanied singing is a thing all of its own - you don't need to be accompanied if you don't want to be. Do it with conviction and it can be far more effective than the same song with guitar etc. It makes a nice break from an evening of entirely guitar+voice songs. You can do a lot more with a song vocally if you are not having to fit in with an accomaniment - go for it and enjoy.... There's tons of great advice in this thread - especially from Sophoclese and Hesperis. There must be old threads on this subject too, if you poke about a bit. Best of luck BobS - I'm sure you'll find your fear will drop off exponentially with the number of times you perform. I'm not totally convinced about the need for any stage-fright/nervousness at all - though I know it's often said that there always has to be some. I think its probably different for different people. I'd hate for anyone to start worrying that if they aren't afraid then there is something wrong...... Kris |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Watson Date: 13 Mar 02 - 06:41 AM I hadn't sung in public between leaving the church choir at the age of 12 and reaching my mid... ...well, never mind which decade it was, but it was a lot of years anyway. I always refused when I was invited to sing, but one day, the host of the session was just that bit more persuasive. I stood up and went for it, and do you know what? Nobody died, the world didn't end. I won't go as far as to say people enjoyed it, but it didn't stop me getting up to have another go. Since then, I've felt nervous, but I've never let that get in the way of enjoying the experience. I've made a complete hash of songs that everyone else in the room knows, but then again, better people than me have done it as well. Just get up there and enjoy it! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 13 Mar 02 - 07:07 AM thanks to Hamish for the great site - I am taking over a folk club (gulp, panic - & as I am not a performer I have 2 good friends who MC beautifully & a good supportive group of members/friends who all belong to the club. As I said, I'm not a performer (I can't hold a tune on my own) but I add my voice to the chorus & have a ball as I love singing along. Very occasionally I'll read a poem in a very secure safe session, but get very nervous. Thanks for all for the advice - it will be useful. Sandra |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: kendall Date: 13 Mar 02 - 07:55 AM If you ask 100 people this question, you will get 110 answeres. I've been performing in public, on and off, for 50 years, and I've learned a thing or two. First, know what you are doing. You must have confidence in your ability to entertain, not just feed your ego. We have all seen people who just dont have anything that an audience wants to hear. How do we know we have something to share? Listen with an open mind. Rely on friends whose opinion you respect to tell you the truth. Dont ask, let them volunteer, and if they don't ask you to perform, no one else will either. Some of the very best have managed to convince themselves that they are not good enough (Judy Garland, Barbara Streisand,) even Jasha Heifitz told himself that people came to see him make a mistake. I've seen it with my own eyes. On the other hand, I've seen many people who just dont know how bad they are! I'm embarrassed for them, but dont know why I should be; if they lack the perception to know, why should I worry? Booze. Here again, it depends on the individual. If I'm about to perform, I dont drink. One is not enough, two is too many.After three, I cant remember the lyrics, my dog's name or where I was born.If it helps you, and it doesn't hurt your performance, take a dram. When I first started performing, I got so nervous my shoes wouldn't stay tied. I would ask myself, "What the hell am I doing? Why do I subject myself to this torture"? Slowly, I realized that no one came to see me flop. I also learned that if you run yourself down, the audience may snicker, but they will also feel your discomfort, they will become uneasy, and it becomes a cause and effect thing. Humor is a great tension release; but, dont try it if you are not funny! That cannot be faked, and it will make things worse. Why dont I play guitar like Norman Blake? simple; I cant! and any attempt on my part would make me look like a fool. So, stick to what you KNOW you can do.That audience does not want you to flop. I have a friend who started playing Dobro. He was good and getting better; then, he was invited to play backup for a couple of stage performers, and that was the end of his learning. He took the stage too soon, and it ruined him. Now, he just drinks, joins picking parties, claws the hell out of the Dobro trying to outhammer the guitar pickers, is always half a beat behind playing every lick he knows in every piece that is played, and I hate to see him coming. It doesn't do any good to tell him he is off beat, he just leaves thinking that he is on and everyone else is off. Another guy was so bad, I thought he was being a comedian! He would show up at places where I am well known, do the songs that I do, incredibly bad, people would complain to me, and what could I do about it? He was just too thick to know how bad he was. Finally, dont forget to thank the universe for your ability; that's where it came from, not from you. Sorry about the rant. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: bradfordian Date: 13 Mar 02 - 08:21 AM Alot of it is practice and experience; keep doing it. Probably one of the most critical points is starting off right, especially acapella as I do. Getting the first few notes right is pretty esential, so get the practice in, in the bathroom, with a few friends and see if you can find a quiet corner to practice the opening verse. You can either close your eyes or focus on a point on a wall. Try not to rush it. It is always well appreciated when someone new begins to sing publically, and the audience does not mind the quality of the performance as much as the fact that one has made the effort. I have been encouraged in this way to sing even more songs. Two new ones (to me)I will be singing tonight are McTells Let Me Down easy Baby and Rusby's My Young Man. I have the words in front of me as my security blanket. I get a buzz out contributing rather than just listening. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: WyoWoman Date: 13 Mar 02 - 08:32 AM Yeah. What they all said. I never get over it, almost always get through it. I don't drink until after because one drink seems to help, two seems to help more and it only takes a drop for me to get vocally clumsy. And now that I"m learning to play guitar, I need every ounce of concentration just to remember how to hit that B7. One thing I try to do is think about giving the audience something more than I think about my own stuff. If music is a gift you're giving you tend to get out of the way. Stage fright is the ego, scrambling for survival, doncha know. ww |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Maryrrf Date: 13 Mar 02 - 09:44 AM It's up to the individual - but I would vote against alcohol to calm your nerves. I tried it a couple of times and it made me forget the lyrics - so I never drink when I'm performing - just water or soft drinks - no ice. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Jeri Date: 13 Mar 02 - 09:49 AM Bob, I don't do gigs, but I do sing in front of people (and once on stage - whoopee!), and I've done public speaking. I don't have the experience these other folks have, but mine is a lot more recent. Believe me, I've put a lot of thought into overcoming "stage fright" because at one time, I was terrified of just singing for my friends. There are a lot of great tips here, so I won't go into the details. For me, the most important thing is (as previously mentioned) to know the song so well you could do it in your sleep. If it means finding a very simple arrangement of something you've known for decades instead of that fancy arrangement of a great song you've just learned - go for it. There will be time for the fancy stuff later, after you've learned the audience won't eat you. What's the difference between the nerves of fear and the nerves of being "pumped" for a performance? Confidence and control, which primarily involves knowing your material and your own limitations. If you use alcohol to numb the nerves, you will probably never learn how to deal with that feeling and you'll always need the alcohol, perhaps in increasing amounts. The heightened adrenelin that causes stage fright is the same exact thing that gives a performance power. What's best, I think, is to learn how to ride on that energy and not be afraid of it, and NOT make it go away. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 13 Mar 02 - 12:38 PM "I have been assured by one who knows that we need to have a bit of this stagefright because it actually helps the performance..." wrong... " if you aren't a little bit nervous you may not be concentrating as much. You can bet your boots that the day you don't feel the nerves will be the day that you're not bothered how the performance is going to come out. " And wrong again... There is a big difference between stage fright and pregig excitement! I've NEVER been afraid of being in front of a crowd, whether it be acting, folking, dance or whatever... Excited? Absolutely! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Jeri Date: 13 Mar 02 - 12:41 PM Clinton, how do you know there's a big difference if you've never experienced both? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:15 PM Stage fright implies a negative connotation... as does the descriptions above of people nearly unable to perform due to it... Pregig excitement is a positive thing... That's what I was getting at... I guess I'm picking nits... like the difference between a 'fear' and a 'phobia'... Know what I mean? ;-) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: kendall Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:23 PM Jeri, you are one wise lady; especially for one so young. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Jeri Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:33 PM Kendall, thanks. The thinking part works ok, it's the doing part I have problems with. It's funny how some people have a handle on the nerves or fear right from the start. Clinton's never been scared. We have a young man her who performed at the All-Ireland Fleadh when he was (I think) 15. I tried to offer him sympathy about the nervousness I was sure he felt beforehand. Said he "I've never felt nervous." Oy. I wonder why some of us can occasionally be scared to death, and others never even get nervous. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: MMario Date: 13 Mar 02 - 01:46 PM I've always been told that a "fear" has a rational basis - a "phobia" is unconscious and usually irrational. My fear of performing is "fear" - my fear of microphones is a "phobia" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Dani Date: 13 Mar 02 - 02:00 PM Hey, if I can sing in front of some of you guys without throwing up, I'm doing damn well! But I really like Hesperis' wise words about using the energy. I've got to think more about that... What I want to know is, how come when I DO get nervous and go ahead and do something anyway, when it's over I instantly forget what it is I've done? Whenever I've sung, or made an impromptu speech in front of a group, even if very heartfelt at the time, I've forgotten what I've said or sung instantly. Sinsull mentioned my singing a song at the Getaway that I have NO MEMORY of. I've always thought that this was my own peculiar character flaw. Anyone else have this happen??? Dani |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: MMario Date: 13 Mar 02 - 02:09 PM Yup - both in public speaking and when singing... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: C-flat Date: 13 Mar 02 - 02:55 PM Don't arrive at a gig too early. Give yourself enough time to be properly prepared but don't be sitting around with nothing to do for an hour before playing. The nervous energy can start to build in a negative way if your not occupied or even worse you may take a glass or two to kill time and with your heightened state it could be disastrous! One Guy I regularly play with is a heavy drinker before going on, he's O.K. but I don't know many that can get away with it. Also, pick your opener carefully. Don't start with tricky subtlety, belt one out! Blow off some energy early and you'll be more able to control the dynamics of your later offerings. It gets you off to a good start. As Justapicker said, pick a member or small group of the audience to start with and focus your act. Don't look at the guys playing cards or yawning it will distract you from the people who WANT to enjoy what you're doing. I used to suffer from stagefright, now I get "anticipation". It's the same thing from a different angle! Good luck! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Don Firth Date: 13 Mar 02 - 03:16 PM Stage fright. No longer bothers me. But it sure did once. In 1957, wanting to make up for my almost complete ignorance of music theory, I was determined to get into the University of Washington School of Music. When I applied, they told me they didn't recognize folk music as a legitimate branch of study. I had taken some classic guitar lessons, so I tried that route, but they said they didn't recognize the guitar as a legitimate musical instrument, despite Segovia's playing a concert on campus six months before (now, the U. of W. School of Music has a guitar department, but times have changed). Anyway, a music professor, John Verrall, went to bat for me and got me a special audition with Dr. Stanley Chappell, the head of the school. When I auditioned for Dr. Chappell, I was so nervous that I totally screwed up. My voice quavered and my hands shook so badly I couldn't even find the strings. Dr. Chappell stopped me, and said something to this effect:— "If a musician is not properly prepared, he has every reason to be nervous. And well he should be! But, you are prepared, I can tell that. Another reason for being nervous—and the one that I believe applies here—is when a musician is more concerned about what his audience thinks of him than he is about the music he's playing. I believe that right now, you're far more concerned about what I think than you are about your music. Right?" Dr. Chappell was absolutely right. He told me to relax. We sat there for awhile and he asked me about my interest in folk music. Then he wanted to know a bit about my goals and ambitions. After awhile he said, "Do you feel like playing and singing a bit now?" I did. And it went okay. Afterwards, Dr. Chappell arranged for me to be admitted to the school, and I became the first singer of folk songs to be accepted into the department. I never forgot what Dr. Chappell said. On another occasion (1959), my nerves almost got the better of me. I was just starting a series of live television shows (this was before the days of videotape) on KCTS-TV, the station that's now Seattle's local PBS affiliate. I got through the first show okay, but I was absolutely petrified. It was fortunate that everything went as planned. I confessed my nervousness to Sally, the producer. She told me that it hadn't been at all noticeable, and assured me that by the second or third show, I'd probably feel like an old pro. Then she said, "Look, here's something that may help. It's easy to imagine thousands of people out there watching, and that can be pretty intimidating. True, there may be thousands of people watching—we hope there are—but that's beside the point. Look, you don't get nervous singing for a few people in someone's living room, do you?" "No," I said, "I do it almost every weekend." "Okay. Just remember, that's exactly what you're doing when you're on television. You're coming out of one TV set at a time into somebody's living room. Since there are usually no more than a couple of people watching any one set, in effect, you're talking and singing just to them. Sometimes it helps to think of someone you know who's watching, and direct what you're doing at them." Sally was right. The second show was a lot easier, and by the third show, I was on top of it. As a result of the television series (which I'd lucked into), I suddenly found myself with a lot of calls to perform. One thing leads to another. Since then, I've had my nervous moments, but I remember what Dr. Chappell said. My whole purpose for being there is the music. And what Sally said. Even if there are 6,000 people in front of me, I pick a couple of people and sing it to them (being careful not to stare at them!!). This has stood me in good stead. Do I get nervous in front of big audiences? Well, maybe the nervous energy is still there, but it manifests itself as exhilaration. And it's a great experience! Keep at it. I hope this helps. Don Firth |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 13 Mar 02 - 04:11 PM "I wonder why some of us can occasionally be scared to death, and others never even get nervous. " Different strokes for different folks eh! LOL!!! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Mudlark Date: 13 Mar 02 - 04:23 PM Bob...So much good advice here from so many talented people...I'll just add that altho I like a dram or 6 as well as the next person, but for me, before performing, it's definitely cold turkey si, Wild Turkey no. Also this... I am a singer who plays guitar just to accompany myself. And altho I agree in theory with all the energy manipulation stuff, in practice I was never able to overcome the fear, and--worse yet--the accompanying voice wobbles, forgotten lyrics, muffed chords, you name it. Then I started volunteering at local convalescent and rest homes. Audiences there very mixed, but often pretty distracting, especially in the dementia units. By the 6th or 7th visit, I began to relax. No way to NOT stumble, when dealing with those who's enthusiastic response extends to patting your face, tugging on clothes to gain attention, etc. Pretty soon I began to just smile and go on, when I forgot lyrics, either to the next verse or next song. And was delighted to find that this extended to playing in front of other musicians and friends as well. I NEVER expected to become this easy with playing in public...I couldn't even bring myself to play in front of encouraging friends, without falling apart afterward. So if all else fails, try entertaining in a place where you know the audience will accept with real pleasure whatever you bring to them. It is very rewarding on all levels! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Deckman Date: 13 Mar 02 - 04:39 PM I would like to echo what Don Firth has posted. Whenever I perform, I feel a strong sense of obligation to the music. I love and respect these songs I sing. That means that I can't allow myself the luxury of being nervous. Being nervous just means that I'm being selfish ... thinking only of myself, rather than the music. Another performers tip: to avoid getting visually hung up on peoples faces, just find two or three areas of the room to focus at. Look at the curtain rod on the left side of the stage, the light switch at the center, and look at the flowers on the right side of the room. Then just rotate your focus around the room, and you'll be amazed how many folks will tell you that they knew you were singing just to them! Works every time. CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: kendall Date: 13 Mar 02 - 08:09 PM Dani, if I thought you felt like throwing up in front of me, I'd be devastated! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Dani Date: 13 Mar 02 - 09:25 PM YOU know what I mean, Kendall. Your chivalrous ways and charming smile kept me on an even keel in your presence. I wouldn't actually do it in FRONT of you!! And so, here's the question: What, exactly, are we afraid OF when that wonderful nervous energy manifests as fear? Don's got a good point. Everything SHOULD be OK when the focus is the music, but if that's all there is to it, then we'd all sound the same and do the same songs, right? The thing is that we are each interpreting music for the next person. I think that I sometimes get caught up in thinking (perversely) that this song (whatever it is)is so important to me that I learned it, I sing it, and I want to share it with you, and then, OH MY God, who am *I* to be singing this after all?! I feel unworthy, or something, and not quite capable of doing what seemed so EASY in the shower, or the car, or whatever. Now that actual PEOPLE are listening, how badly am I screwing up this thing? Know what I mean? I guess I think someone like Pete Seeger (just for example) just has incredible BALLS to get up on a stage and do what he does. And he does it! When he passes on a song or a story, it comes down to me just like he wants it to, or on the rare occasion when it doesn't, it's just so OK anyway. Dani |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: kendall Date: 13 Mar 02 - 10:37 PM Thank God, we are all different, and we all have something to share in our own way. In folk music, there is no "right" way. No one can sing "Old Man River" like Paul Robeson did, why would anyone even try? What ever made Sinatra think he could do it justice? Answer, he did it his way, and I'll bet there are plenty of people who think he did it well.(especially those who have never heard Paul Robeson sing it! It's all a matter of opinion. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: 53 Date: 13 Mar 02 - 10:55 PM I think that all of the advice is great, so just take a little from each thread and go out and knock em dead. I made a rhyme. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: KingBrilliant Date: 14 Mar 02 - 06:23 AM Dani - when I used to get really nervous & scared it was because the thing was so important to me, and I was terrified that I was going to find that I just couldn't do it. It was never the fear of what people would think of me, so much as whether I could achieve what I desperately wanted to achieve - without voice-wobbling, chord-mangling or word-forgetting. The fear was high because the stakes were so high. Now the fear is largely gone, because experience tells me that I can do it most of the time, and the odd off-day is no real worry. Having said all that - I shall now contradict myself... sometimes one particular person being there can completely throw me so that everything comes out wrong. If there's someone there that I know for a fact dislikes me or my singing then I'll have great difficulty doing anything worthwhile. Anyone else suffer from that kryptonite effect?? - I managed to cure it in one instance by writing a song about the situation and singing it in front of Mrs Kryptonite. But it can be a swine. Kris
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: kendall Date: 14 Mar 02 - 06:55 AM If Mr./Mrs/Ms Kryptonite doesn't like it, he/she can always leave, and, if they REALLY dont like it, they WILL leave.Then, if they really hate it, and dont leave, they have a problem, not you! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: KingBrilliant Date: 14 Mar 02 - 07:06 AM Kendall - objectively yes absolutely. But on the other hand they could stay and just quietly sit there dispising me and my efforts. Ooooh - it makes my blood run cold just to think of it :>) I know its not logical - but as the words of my song said "she stoppers me up like a cork in a bottle". Perhaps as time goes on I'll get stronger & less susceptible. Maybe. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: kendall Date: 14 Mar 02 - 07:18 AM I love old sayings..."Nothing is bad, or good; thinking makes them so." Shakespere An old eastern saying, "Your opinion of me is none of my business." Ask yourself, Why do I give this person the power to make me uncomfortable? Sure, I know that logic has a tough time when it is up against instinct, but, it's the first step toward overcoming that fear. It helps you to create a mindset that will make that detractor powerless. It really is all in our minds you know! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: KingBrilliant Date: 14 Mar 02 - 07:35 AM I shall ponder that Kendall, cheers. Kris |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Maryrrf Date: 14 Mar 02 - 09:53 AM One thing I've noticed is that sometimes the crowd has an energy of it's own. Sometimes you just get a lot of people who are not interested in the music and want to talk and socialize (I'm talking pubs and restaurants here, not concerts) and sometimes everybody's interested in the music. There are some nights when it's easy to get everybody's attention, other nights when no matter how much I put into it the crowd's just not interested. I guess a real master can work any crowd, but I haven't reached that point yet! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Steve Parkes Date: 14 Mar 02 - 10:11 AM ... a real master can work any crowd ... I dunno about that! I often think about that, and I wonder if turning your mind off to that extent is really good for a creative performer, as distinct from a professional one. A pro, to be very good, has to be able to look and sound as though everyone loves him/her, even when no-one's paying attention, whereas most of us amateurs (i.e. folk-music-lovers) need to be communicating with our audience, even to the extent of having them join in. If there's no response, I start to panic--which is where we came in! Steve |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: KingBrilliant Date: 14 Mar 02 - 10:31 AM I always want to start giggling when no-one is paying attention - the thought of standing there singing my heart out to no avail strikes me as a bit surreal. Do you ever want to shout out "would you please all just f***ing listen!!!". Then I go and sit down and start chatting and ignoring the next performer - as you say Mary, some nights are like that..... Kris |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Maryrrf Date: 14 Mar 02 - 11:32 AM Well, on those nights when nobody's paying attention I use it to experiment with new songs to see if I know them well enough to include in my repertoire and sometimes it turns out to be fun. Nobody's listening anyway so I might as well enjoy myself. It kind of humbles your ego but that's probably a good thing - keeps you from getting too cocky! And OCCASIONALLY I'll get very involved and start singing my heart out and - lo and behold - they start listening! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 02 - 11:38 AM strange - I usually don't actually get the shakes until I start performing - but probably due to reading this thread the last couple days - I started shaking about 45 minutes BEFORE going on at an open mic last night...made it hard to drink my coffee. but I was smart enough to use a stool last night - didn't have to worry about falling down in the middle of the song . |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: GUEST,BobS Date: 14 Mar 02 - 11:41 AM Thanks to all!! Wow...this is a lot of great advice. I think I will save this thread. Where I have been playing is a folk club that gets together every week in the back room of a Mexican restuarant (a buritto before performing seems like a bad idea somehow. We call ourselves a "listening club" and people are sorta made to listen. Maybe thats why I get nervous!!! Maybe I need to play somewhere where folks aren't listening!!! It'd be just like being alone in my basement....(where I ROCK by the way!!!) Bob like the old line says if a man says something in the woods and a woman is not there....is he still wrong?
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 14 Mar 02 - 01:17 PM If you feel you MUST have some help or you'll be out of control of your reactions and so forth, there's two things I can mention: 1. This one I can't tell for sure, but a speaker in a class on public speaking recommended, of all things, two aspirins a half hour before the speech. Never tried it; don't know. 2. This one I know works. Get your doctor to prescribe propanolol for you. Take one a half hour before performance. Dave Oesterreich |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 14 Mar 02 - 01:54 PM I always kinda thought, if ya gotta dope yerself up, be it booze or whatever, to get on stage maybe you shouldn't be there??? I donno... I mean, if it's that much of a hassle, how much can the reward be?? ;-) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: RichM Date: 14 Mar 02 - 02:19 PM Not to start an argument, but it's not "doping yerself up". It's dealing with an inappropriate physical reaction. Same as using a wheelchair, eyeglasses, hearing aid, or bandaids on your fingers if yer an upright bass player (me!)... I take antidepressants for a chronic stress problem. As well as dealing with the major stressors, it also allows me to function calmly on stage---and to enjoy myself. YMMV, Rich McCarthy |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 14 Mar 02 - 02:49 PM I don't wanna start an argument either RichM... I'm just trying to understand the other side of the fence... I've seen plenty of upright bass players who don't use bandaids.... That aside, I'm more wondering after the mentality of someone who has such bad stage fright... then why go on stage at all??? drugs or no... Seems to me like eating something yer allergic to... is it really worth it? I guess that's a personal call eh... like I said... just wondering... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:35 PM Clinton - Yes - it's worth it. A friend once compared what I go through when I perform as "the nearest thing a male will ever know to giving birth" - |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Ebbie Date: 14 Mar 02 - 03:48 PM Lots of helpful thoughts and suggestions above. Now to apply them...
Maybe part of our fear is culture induced. Or our upbringing's culture: Don't make a fool/spectacle of yourself. Sit down and be quiet. What makes you think you're so special? Not so loud. And etc...
Each year people from Juneau, Alaska and some towns in Russia visit each other. We always have house music parties when the Russians come.
One Russian told me that at Russian parties everyone is expected to contribute something, whether it's a song or a tune or a poem or a speech; that it is impolite not to. Gave me food for thought- but it wore off. :)
A trick that I've used in public speaking is to visually give the impression that I'm not nervous. That means leaving one's hands unclenched, taking even breaths, not locking one's knees... That translates to the result that you will then be less nervous, because the body recognizes and responds to the signals you give it.
I especially like Kendall's Why do I give this person the power to make me uncomfortable? If I can keep in mind that each one of us is the same being, and since I know I don't want to make others uncomfortable myself, I should be able to viscerally (sp) understand that I'm actually denigrating them.
As a friend once said,in apology, "Life is such a series of learning experiences, and I'm getting sick of it!"
Ebbie
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 14 Mar 02 - 04:12 PM See, MMario... I'm male and I frigg'n GLAD I don't ever have to know what birth feels like!! LOL!!!
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 02 - 04:19 PM Mmario, the shaking is just the fear rolling off, because you have contradicted the paralysis fear can create. The kind of shakes you are describing are fear's equivalent to grief's tears. The more you can allow them to keep rolling, the sooner you will be done with stagefright. One way to heighten the effect of those shakes is to loudly and gleefully emote, at the same time as they are rolling, with such phrases as "YeeHAH!" ~S~ |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: harvey andrews Date: 14 Mar 02 - 07:00 PM Haven't read all this thread, but I think I have the gist. I've worked with many different artists and I think one of the ways they learn to beat this is by taking control. Some do it quietly, empty dressing room for an hour before the gig, quiet contemplation, loosening the fingers and the voice. Others do it by ordering all the backstage stuff, the right sandwiches (that great scene in the dressing room in "Spinal Tap" when the meat didn't fit the roll says it all)the right booze etc. Others do it by being objectionable to all around them and getting them scurrying about and being obsequious. I didn't need any of this but I still got the yips last year and had a run of gigs when I felt completely out of control and kept thinking I was going to run offstage any second. Surely they realised I was crap? What's the next line..the next chord..Oh God, help me!! My wife told me when I confessed all this when it had gone that she never noticed, and if she didn't the audience certainly didn't. My last control mechanism, whatever it was, pulled me through.We all put someone else on when we go onstage. I think you have to find who that other you is. . Tony Hancock used to throw up backstage before he went on live. Stagefright destroyed the career of Mike Yarwood, the finest impressionist comedian in Britain at the time. It can happen to anyone, anytime. I think the answer could be to examine your control mechanisms and work inside them. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: Stagefright...er terror..ever overcome? From: Trevor Date: 15 Mar 02 - 05:53 AM I can go with Ebbie's stuff. Have a look at yourself and see what signs you're displaying of nervousness. I notice that sometimes I clench my thumb in the palm of my hand, or put my hands behind my back, with one hand gripping the other elbow. If I very slowly and deliberately unwind my body, my mind follows. Another trick that you can play on your body is to remember some time when it has all gone well for you, when you were your own hero and bound to be successful. Think of all the circumstances around it - where were you, what could you see, what could you hear, smell, feel? What was the weather doing, who else was there, how did it feel? Just imagine the whole scenario. It works, honest, and if you don't believe me, practice doing it but first remember a time when you were feeling low levels of confidence, high expectations of failure, incompetence. Check out your posture, the expression on your face, the angle of your shoulders. Now go for the high confidence visualisation and have another look at yourself. Take those bike clips off! |