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Folklore: Similes for Today

jimlad 17 Mar 02 - 04:28 PM
khandu 17 Mar 02 - 04:35 PM
Midchuck 17 Mar 02 - 04:56 PM
Liz the Squeak 17 Mar 02 - 05:18 PM
CapriUni 17 Mar 02 - 05:24 PM
Mr Red 17 Mar 02 - 07:06 PM
Morticia 17 Mar 02 - 07:12 PM
Paul from Hull 17 Mar 02 - 07:52 PM
khandu 17 Mar 02 - 07:57 PM
Snuffy 18 Mar 02 - 08:15 AM
jimlad 18 Mar 02 - 03:03 PM
Pseudolus 18 Mar 02 - 03:51 PM
Mr Red 18 Mar 02 - 03:52 PM
catspaw49 18 Mar 02 - 04:20 PM
Jeri 18 Mar 02 - 05:14 PM
catspaw49 18 Mar 02 - 05:25 PM
Jeri 18 Mar 02 - 05:31 PM
Gareth 18 Mar 02 - 06:59 PM
khandu 18 Mar 02 - 07:21 PM
Bobert 18 Mar 02 - 07:22 PM
khandu 18 Mar 02 - 09:39 PM
CapriUni 18 Mar 02 - 11:09 PM
Knitpick 19 Mar 02 - 01:31 AM
Seamus Kennedy 19 Mar 02 - 01:51 AM
GUEST,Boab 19 Mar 02 - 02:28 AM
alison 19 Mar 02 - 04:08 AM
Fibula Mattock 19 Mar 02 - 06:59 AM
Nigel Parsons 19 Mar 02 - 07:03 AM
Nigel Parsons 19 Mar 02 - 07:13 AM
jimlad 19 Mar 02 - 11:31 AM
Mrrzy 19 Mar 02 - 11:36 AM
GUEST,MC Fat 19 Mar 02 - 11:49 AM
Seamus Kennedy 20 Mar 02 - 03:19 AM
jimlad 20 Mar 02 - 05:17 AM
Seamus Kennedy 20 Mar 02 - 11:50 AM
Seamus Kennedy 20 Mar 02 - 12:00 PM
kendall 20 Mar 02 - 01:39 PM
Midchuck 20 Mar 02 - 02:37 PM
Cluin 13 Jan 04 - 02:04 AM
akenaton 13 Jan 04 - 03:43 PM
YorkshireYankee 13 Jan 04 - 03:47 PM
fogie 13 Jan 04 - 04:12 PM
jeffp 13 Jan 04 - 04:15 PM
Cluin 13 Jan 04 - 05:17 PM
GUEST,DavidfromSydney 13 Jan 04 - 05:42 PM
Cluin 13 Jan 04 - 05:52 PM
GUEST,si 13 Jan 04 - 06:11 PM
Cluin 13 Jan 04 - 06:18 PM
GUEST,JTT 13 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM
Joe_F 13 Jan 04 - 06:27 PM
GUEST,si 13 Jan 04 - 06:27 PM
GUEST,Guest 13 Jan 04 - 07:24 PM
GUEST 13 Jan 04 - 08:12 PM
YorkshireYankee 13 Jan 04 - 11:14 PM
Lady Nancy 14 Jan 04 - 03:40 PM
jeffp 14 Jan 04 - 03:55 PM
Michael 14 Jan 04 - 04:14 PM
akenaton 14 Jan 04 - 04:27 PM
Celtaddict 15 Jan 04 - 12:03 AM
C-flat 15 Jan 04 - 12:35 PM
Cluin 15 Jan 04 - 01:37 PM
GUEST,Braggadocio 03 Sep 11 - 08:01 PM
GUEST,peter j w 01 Feb 12 - 09:21 AM
GUEST,999 01 Feb 12 - 10:32 AM
GUEST,BrunoTheManc 17 Jun 12 - 06:18 AM
GUEST,IrishBoris 24 Jul 12 - 11:13 AM
Joe_F 24 Jul 12 - 02:19 PM
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Subject: A Simile for Today
From: jimlad
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 04:28 PM

How are the similies in your part of the world?. Here are some of ours:-

"She's a face like a robbers Dog" (she is not such a pretty lass)

"She's a face like a pig with piles" (She is not a goodlooker)

"He's nowt a pound and s**t* tuppence" (He is a worthless chap)

"He's running about like a Bulldog with a Bee up it's a*s* (He is in a hurry)

"He's got a face like a freshly slapped a*s* (He does not look too pleased)

"Her nipples stood out like a Greyhounds knackers" (It was cold that day)


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: khandu
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 04:35 PM

"Grinning like a mule eating briars" (Happy)

"Shaking like a dog shi**ing persimmon seeds" (Scared, nervous)

khandu


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Midchuck
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 04:56 PM

From a friend of many years ago, with a rural upbringing:

Upon observing a female hitchiker: "Don't stop! She's uglier than Death taking a shit!"

Of his wife, when he disagreed with her on some point or other: "She's crazier than a shithouse rat!"

One of my favorites from a list the late H. Allen Smith put out in one of his jokebooks:

"That woman was so tall she could stand flat-footed and piss in the radiator of a Chevy pickup." (You have to be old enough to remember outside radiator caps on cars and light trucks, for that to make sense.)

Peter.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 05:18 PM

Face like a slapped arse....

Face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle....

A two bagger.... (a bag over her head because he's so ugly, and one over yours in case his falls off....)

Fugly... contraction of f**king ugly

Arse like two Volkswagen Beetles parking in the same spot...

Tits like a bag full of puppies (large unfettered ones....)

LTS


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: CapriUni
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 05:24 PM

Something someone said in a chatroom today, regarding his need for clear driving directions:

"I get lost falling down"... maybe not a simile, but a simile's cousin.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 07:06 PM

have we had "like a fart in a colander" ?
no? it must be the boiled cabbage then!


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Morticia
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 07:12 PM

flat as a witch's tit
self-explanatory if somewhat untrue
cold as charity
ditto
like two small boys wrestling under a blanket
of large and mobile buttocks
mad as an actress
also self-explanatory


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 07:52 PM

A Scottish woman I used to know (& she'll be in her mid-to-late 70's now) used to use the expression "dressed up like a Shillimg dinner". It does make more sense than "dressed up like a DOG'S dinner" which is a more common expression I think, here in the UK.

"Mutton dressed up as Lamb" is another common one of course, but I think I invented the more extreme form of that - "Not so much Mutton dressed up as Lamb, as offal ground up for mince..."


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: khandu
Date: 17 Mar 02 - 07:57 PM

"Going at it like he was killing snakes" (Enthusiastic, frenetic)

khandu


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Snuffy
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 08:15 AM

Up and down like a whore's drawers


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: jimlad
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 03:03 PM

Up and down like a brides nightie

Off and on like a lad on a new bike

Up and down like a fart in a bottle

A face like a bag of spanners

As popular as a t**d in a swimming pool

Tits like Coconuts,they also like Peanuts too

Tits like Mudgee mailbags (Mudgee is a godforsaken small Town in NSW Oz where they only get one mail delivery a month,hence they are large)

"His face would stand cloggin'" (He is hardfaced)

As funny as a fart in a spacesuit


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Pseudolus
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 03:51 PM

Once, when my sister in law was asking ME directions to a bar where MY surprise birthday party was to be that night because she needed to help decorate, my buddy suggested that she was "dumber than a box of hammers....." I've proudly used that since....twice!!

Frank


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 03:52 PM

Snuffy I heard it as "a whores draws on Christmas Eve"
Morticia those two small boys sure get around, I heard they were under the "big girls blouse" - probably a witch put them there in lieu of!


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 04:20 PM

I think we've had a few threads on this before and I keep asking for an explanation of one I heard a friend's Dad say many years ago..........

He acts like a man with a rubber asshole."

What does that mean anyway?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 05:14 PM

One tends to retain bugs up one's but when one has a rubber asshole. There must be some stretch, but for the most part, rubber assholes would be as water-tight as a frog's.

I had a boss who was very sick and discribed himself as feeling "like hammered dogshit." (Looked like it, too.) A friend occasionally says he feels like a sack of doorknobs. I'm not sure exactly what it means.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 05:25 PM

"I feel like I been eat by a bear and shit over a cliff"....kinda' like that Jeri?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 05:31 PM

The hammered dogshit one is more visual, and I know what dogshit smells like. Makes it even more potent. Other than that - same general idea.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Gareth
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 06:59 PM

" As much use as a chocolate teapot."

"Not the sharpest tool in the box"

"Likes his sex manually"

" As popular as a Tory in Ebbw Vale."

"The only Rat to join a sinking ship"

"He/She thinks that Ethics is a county east of London."

And me late fathers favourite - " I wonder what keeps his ears apart"

Gareth


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: khandu
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 07:21 PM

Not a simile but:

He's anybody's dog that will hunt with him. (Needs no explanation)

khandu


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 07:22 PM

Ol' bobert used to work with a North Carolina boy by the name of Mike Smith. Well, he hated Fords and being a Ford man we'd get into it to pass the time. Now one day we were going at it purdy good and I could see that he was purdy close to the boiling point when he yelled loud enough for folks to hear all the way down the hall, "I wouldn't drive a Ford to a goat f**king." Now I ain't saying nothing about the pastimes of all the folks from N.C., but I's stay out of Mike's holler, fir sure...


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: khandu
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 09:39 PM

Bobert,

Tell your friend to come to Pelahatchie, MS in July. (That's pronounced PEE-la-HATCH-ie)

The biggest Mississippi event of the year takes place there...the world famous Pelahatchie Goat F**k!!

Everyone welcomed! Tell'em khandu sent you!


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: CapriUni
Date: 18 Mar 02 - 11:09 PM

Don't remember where I heard it, but I like it:

"As happy as a butcher's dog."


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Knitpick
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 01:31 AM

All o' them similes is slicker'n deer-guts on a door-knob.

Songbob Clayton


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 01:51 AM

A face like a wet weekend in Belfast. (miserable)
A face like a bulldog chewing a bumblebee. (grouchy)
A face like a well-skelped arse. (red)
As soft as a sneaker full of shit. (somewhat dumb)
As tight as a crab's ass in a sandstorm. (tight!)
As cold as a stepmother's kiss.
As useless as an arseful of roasted snow.

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 02:28 AM

Tight as fishes' arseholes--and they're watertight Eyes like pissholes in the snow [me on some Sunday a.m.s] Quiet as Aberdeen on a flag [tag] day... Black as Auld Nick's waistcoat--- Crabbit as a cat wi' its arse held tae the sun--- pissed as a newt [or nissed as a pewt if it's used self-descriptively, and how the cat came to be named "Cukin-fat"] Happy as a wee pig in shit... and---daft as a bliddy brush, Boab


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: alison
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 04:08 AM

and some tasteful Ozzie ones....

dry as a dead dingo's donger!! (thirsty)
flat out like a lizard drinking!! (thirsty.. is anyone else seeing a pattern here?... *grin*)

and a Belfast one Seamus missed....

face like a Lurgan spade (sad - a Lurgan spade being very long to dig peat)

slainte

alison

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 06:59 AM

ach, I was gonna do the Lurgan spade one - you beat me to it alison!

Sweatin' like a hoor in church;

nipples like JCB starter-buttons;

subtle as a brick to the forehead;

and happy as a pig in shit.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 07:03 AM

Nipples like chapel hat pegs
Nipples like organ stops

Time flies like an arrow,
Fruit flies like a banana!

Tits like coconuts


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 07:13 AM

Yes, I know the "Fruit flies" line is not a simile. It just points out the difficulties with this English language.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: jimlad
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 11:31 AM

I'm so hungry I could eat a bear between two bred vans

He can eat one spud more than a pig

I could eat a scabby dog

"Well they will no spoil twa hooses" (Said about two obnoxious people who marry each other)


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 11:36 AM

I was actually thinking this as they were changing my dressing where I had foot surgery - Wow, my skin's as tie-dyed as a Hugo shirt! But I think you had to be there...

I am personally fond of the form S/he's a few Xs short of a Y - as in, a few beers short of a sixpack, a few croutons short of a salad, etc. Metaphors, not similes, oops, different thread. A few fries short of a Happy Meal.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 19 Mar 02 - 11:49 AM

The great Kinky Friedman had a great line (I know moat of his lines are great) which said 'Her nipples were harder than Japanese arithmetic'


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 03:19 AM

Another Belfast one I missed, Alison -

As ignorant as a cartload of Millfield arse holes. As carnaptious as a badger wi' a sore gub. (Co. Antrim) As thick as two short planks.

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: jimlad
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 05:17 AM

He had a face that would stop a clock

He were belchin' an' fartin'like a thirty-bob Donkey

He wouldn't give you the skin off a t**d

He could peel an Orange in his pocket

He has short arms and deep pockets

He never buys sweets that are Wrapped


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 11:50 AM

As awkward as a pig goin' to hoke.

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 12:00 PM

As alike as two whales in a pod.

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: kendall
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 01:39 PM

Peter, you are funny! best laugh I've had all day.

Grinning like a dog eating bumble bees.
Numb as a pounded thumb.
Looks like death eating a cracker.
Sweating like a hen hauling wood.
Working like a borrowed mule.
Fucked up like a Chinese fire drill.
Crazy as a bag of rats.
Humped up like a hog going to war.
Stinking like a dog's laundry.
Useless as a screen door in a submarine.
" " a trap door in a canoe.
" " tits on a boar.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Midchuck
Date: 20 Mar 02 - 02:37 PM

"Sweating like a dog shitting a log-chain and dreading the hook...."

P.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 02:04 AM

Slicker than a butcher's prick.

Faster than spit through a harelip.

Loose as a bucket of water.

Useless as tits on a nun (or bull).


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: akenaton
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 03:43 PM

As tight(mean)as a bulls arse going up a brae.
As deep as a parsons depravity..


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 03:47 PM

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs

Happy as a clam (what are the origins of that one, anyway?)

Flat as a pancake

Dumber than dirt

Holy as a sock

Mind like a steel trap (then there's my adaptation of that one to apply to my failing memory: Mind like a steel sieve)

Cheers,

YY


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: fogie
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 04:12 PM

Barry Humphrey's must have the world record of these sort of sayings- does anyone have access to a website with all his old "private eye" retorts- the most R.P. being -as dry as an abbo's armpit, or technicolour yawn.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: jeffp
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 04:15 PM

Yorkshire Yankee:

The long version of Happy as a clam that I learned was "Happy as a clam at high tide." That may make more sense.

jeffp


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 05:17 PM

Tight as a bull's ass in fly season.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,DavidfromSydney
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 05:42 PM

Hope this isn't too long - my brother (a journalist) passed this onto me... these are supposed to be metaphors/similes culled from Australian year 12 English essays. I'm not sure that I believe that, but some of them are hilarious

*********************************************
Metaphors Found in NSW Year 12 English essays
*********************************************
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides
gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature prime English beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Sex in the City" comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry them in hot oil.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

Even in his last years, Grandad had a mind like a steel trap, only
one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
for a while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a Uni
student on $1-a-beer night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but
a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
the wall.

Hope you enjoyed them...obviously the English language is in safe hands, here in Oz

David


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 05:52 PM

Hi David,

I've seen the same e-mail several times, each time variously credited to American, Canadian, and English high school students. Wherever they come from originally, they're still pretty funny. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,si
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 06:11 PM

A sandwich short of a picnic ( not too smart).

Smells like a whore's handbag ( cheap perfume).

A face like a bag of spanners ( self explanatory).

As much use as a chocolate fireguard.

Cheap as chips.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Cluin
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 06:18 PM

"A sandwich short of a picnic"

`At's no simile... `at's a me'-a-fo', `at is!


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 06:25 PM

Shy but willing, like an ass to a thistle
(if you've ever watched a donkey approaching a thistle, ears laid back, eyes scrunched closed, lips carefully drawn back from teeth, but with somehow an expression of expectant ecstasy...)

As crooked as a ram's horn

Crooked? If he et a nail he'd shite a screw!

Telling lies as fast as a horse could trot

As thick as a kish of brogues
(=basket of shoes)

Not as green as she's cabbage-looking

Tuppence-ha'penny looking down on tuppence
(this surely needs amending into euro)

Some of these are metaphors, but hell, it's all in the family, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: Joe_F
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 06:27 PM

Drifting around like a fart in the marketplace.

A rationalization of "...like a fart in a pickle barrel", possibly by someone who did not fancy the image of a fermentation bubble working its way up thru the pickles.

A translation of Yiddish "vi a farts im roisl".

Originally a play on "vi a frantsoiz in Rusland" = like a Frenchman in Russia. Goes back to 1812. A simile for yesterday!

This information is due to Maurice Samuel of blessed memory.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,si
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 06:27 PM

'ow abaht........camp as a row of tents.


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Subject: RE: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 07:24 PM

In and out like a horse's ass.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 08:12 PM

Dull as ditch water.

Poor as a church mouse.

Dead as a dodo.

Stiff as a board.

High as a kite.

Deaf as a post.

Drunk as a skunk.

Blind as a bat.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jan 04 - 11:14 PM

jeffp,

That does make more sense. Thanks!

YY


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: Lady Nancy
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 03:40 PM

Crabbit as a bag o' weasels. (U need a slight Scottish accent for that one!)

All good fun, though

LN


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: jeffp
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 03:55 PM

You're as welcome as a cold beer, YY.

jeffp


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: Michael
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 04:14 PM

Years ago (when we were lads) a friend of mine by the name of Ray,used to say he was 'as dry as a docker's armpit' or 'as dry as a ferret's armpit' which eventually became 'as dry as a docker's ferret'


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: akenaton
Date: 14 Jan 04 - 04:27 PM

Up and Doon,like a whores' drawers!

In and oot, like a fiddlers elbow!

As much good as,a hip pocket in a shirt!


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: Celtaddict
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 12:03 AM

An obstetrician I knew in a former lifetime used to describe an easy delivery as "slicker'n a snotty doorknob."
A song by Mustard's Retreat describes "a night like the Devil's riding boots."
And possibly my favorite brief description of a person, Dorothy Dunnett's "He looked like an oak tree with dimples."


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: C-flat
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 12:35 PM

Up and down like a bog seat (busy)

Bent as a nine-bob note (crooked)

As subtle as a flying brick (not)

Eloquent as f**k (not)

More front than Blackpool (confident/cocky)


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Jan 04 - 01:37 PM

One of my Dad's: bouncin' around like a bubble in a pisspot


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,Braggadocio
Date: 03 Sep 11 - 08:01 PM

In and out like a dog at a fair


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,peter j w
Date: 01 Feb 12 - 09:21 AM

here's a few that don't seem to be above

A face like a bad cobbler's thumb
up & down like a fan dancers drawers
smells like a whore house parlour
as useless a spare prick at a wedding
as rough as a badgers arse
You can see the barge pole marks


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,999
Date: 01 Feb 12 - 10:32 AM

"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30."

Found that somewhere.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,BrunoTheManc
Date: 17 Jun 12 - 06:18 AM

As tight as / Fits like a nun's knicker leg
Fits' like a Burton's shirt
As steady as an MFI wardrobe
About as useful as Anne Franck's drumkit
As useful as a frozen fireguard
As useless as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking party


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: GUEST,IrishBoris
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 11:13 AM

Got this one from a fellow from Port Arthur TX: Hungry enough to eat the ass out of a rag doll.


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Subject: RE: Folklore: Similes for Today
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 02:19 PM

_Texas Crude_, by Ken Weaver, contains many of these. The first is "I was so scared my ass pulled five pounds of cotton out of the front seat of the truck".


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