Lyr Req: 'Albert Ramsbottom' monologues...

Subject: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Paul
Date: 22 Mar 02 - 03:22 PM

Most people will be familiar with the 'Albert Ramsbottom' monologues, popularised by Marriott Edgar and Stanley Holloway from the 30's to the 70's. It appears that people are still writing the occasional 'Albert' monologue which I would very much like to add to my growing collection.
I'm searching, in particular, for 'Albert And The Outside Privy' and 'Albert And The Vampire'... plus any others that follow the original 'Marriott Edgar' style.
Can anyone help?...

The following are available at my site...

Marriott Edgar :
The Lion And Albert
Albert And His Savings
Albert And The 'Eadsman
Albert's Return
The Jubilee Sov'reign
Recumbent Posture
The Runcorn Ferry

Stanley Holloway :
Albert Evacuated
Albert's Reunion

And the tradition continues with :
Son Of Albert (Captures the style very well!)
Tail End Albert Albert as a Tail Gunner)
Albert And The Vindaloo (Very Funny!)
Albert At Sellafield
Albert And The Monkey (A 'Discword' version)
Albert And The Computer
Albert And The Whorehouse (Not uploaded because of younger visitors)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: lamarca
Date: 22 Mar 02 - 05:50 PM

I've got your site bookmarked, Paul, and really enjoy it (I never knew that Bernard Wrigley had written sequals to "Knocking Nelly"...)

Do you have the words to "There's a stain on the floor of the barroom..."? Since I've only ever heard Lou Killen do this tragic tale of a darts contest and don't know the title or author, it might be on your site under its real name...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: pavane
Date: 22 Mar 02 - 06:00 PM

Tom Gilfellon has recorded it on The Middle of the Tune, and I am sure it was discussed here quite recently. It is of recent origin, as it refers to the moon landing in 1969. Uncle Alberts last heroic farewell.. or something like that

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 22 Mar 02 - 07:54 PM

Paul:

Your website is terrific. We've spent many a joyous hour at it. And yes it does have "There's a stain on the floor of the barroom..."

Bev and Jerry

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Paul
Date: 23 Mar 02 - 12:02 PM

The verse you're looking for is an 'Ed Pickford one entitled
'Uncle Albert's Sad Farewell to the World'

Link updated. --JoeClone, 2-Nov-03.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Mar 02 - 02:38 PM

Paul Try www.monologues.co.uk/index.html Raggytash

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Walter Corey
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 10:08 AM

Does anyone know what happened to the www.monologues.co.uk website? It seems to be gone and there is a notice from "Hosting the Company". I shall really miss this site.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 10:45 AM

I've sent an email to the hosting company, asking what happend to the old site... I was there only a couple of months ago...

who knows - if I get anything - I'll pass it on

Robin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: clansfolk
Date: 30 Oct 03 - 12:22 PM

I did see and "Up for Sale" some time ago - but didn't expect it to go so soon - if only I'd downloaded more - Doh!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 11:31 AM

Is Paul still on line - after all it was his site so I expect he's still got all the material.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 11:48 AM

I have PMed Paul asking about his site. It seems as though www.monologues.co.uk has now been aquired by "The Hosting Company for one of it's clients".

I wonder if Max would be interested in hosting it - in the same way that he provided Dick with a home for the DT when the owners of it's previous home got worried about copyright considerations.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Arnie
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 11:55 AM

I can't open any of Paul's monologues - clicking on his blue clickies only gives me the 'page cannot be opened message' and refers me to the now-defunct www.monologues site. Wonder if this is a problem with my broadband that I've recently installed. Shame really, as I'm off to a folk club tonight I fancied trying one of the new monologues...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Cluin
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 05:23 PM

You could try this site.

Or another couple here.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 09:01 PM

If you mention which particular one you want - someone may have it.

Robin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Walter Corey
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 09:29 PM

Part of the site is here
http://www.btinternet.com/~p.wilkinson2000/Albert_and_the_Lion.htm
(Why does the linkmaker make two links?)

Unfortunately only the first six or seven monologues come up if you click on them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Walter Corey
Date: 31 Oct 03 - 09:35 PM

I guess the answer to my own question above is that it doesn't. When I made the link it had the URL down twice. I pasted it into an e-mail that I sent myself and the link came up twice, and both of them worked. But it straightened itself out in the message...oh me of little faith!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: GUEST,Big Jim from Jackson
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 10:32 AM

Like Arnie, the blue clickies Paul posted wont open for me. Paul, what is your site address?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 11:38 AM

Try this:

http://www.monologues.co.uk/index.html

~S~

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Nov 03 - 10:48 PM

The Monologues site was not working for a while - see messages above around end of Oct - but now seems to be alive again...

Robin

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 09 Nov 03 - 01:41 AM

Very nice and droll verse.....but I am vexed I cannot find the whorehouse.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 06 Jan 04 - 09:39 AM

The site can be found at http://www.btinternet.com/~p.wilkinson2000/index.html

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'ALBERT RAMSBOTTOM' monologues...
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 04 Nov 04 - 11:57 PM

feresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Albert Ramsbottom' monologues...
From: GUEST,Grandpappy
Date: 28 Dec 04 - 02:11 PM

Never mind about Albert Ramsbottom, or Sam Small for that matter; Who knows the words of the monologue about a butler? viz:

"It was ver 'ard wok in the pantry,
Polishing silver all day.
They made me polish, an' polish 'an polish
Till I rubbed 'L.M.S.' clean away!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Albert Ramsbottom' monologues...
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Dec 04 - 06:50 PM

Try the

http://www.monologues.co.uk/

site - you can always put a request there.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Albert Ramsbottom' monologues...
From: GUEST,CJB666
Date: 15 Jan 21 - 05:19 PM

Does anyone have the words to Albert Ramsbottom when he got sent to a girls school in Penwortham. When asked how he liked it he said something like it was OK, but after a sports event he found that "the showers were cold."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Albert Ramsbottom' monologues...
From: GUEST,CJB666
Date: 17 Jan 21 - 11:03 AM

There Once was a girls' school at Penwortham
And Mr & Mrs Ransborrom thought
That young Albert should go there an all
===
When asked about teachers and subjects he remarked that they were OK
And the last line was about sports ....
===
And Albert remarked "But the showers were cowd."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'Albert Ramsbottom' monologues...
From: GUEST,SB666
Date: 14 Mar 23 - 08:52 PM

Does anyon have 'Albert And The Whorehouse'?