Origins: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets

Subject: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: GUEST,Arjay
Date: 25 Mar 02 - 04:54 AM

I'm looking for a song that goes something like:

All right, Lady, I'll buy your god-damned violets, ... I'll buy your pencils, too.
Now, take of your colored glasses,
Hello, Mom,
I knew it was you all along.

(I tried to find it in a DT and forum search by looking for "violets," but no luck.)

Arjay

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Click for lyrics in related thread

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T CRY, LADY, I'LL BUY YOUR GOD-DAMN..
From: Hrothgar
Date: 25 Mar 02 - 06:34 AM

As I remember (it's been a long time):

Hurrah! Hurrah! My father's gonna be hung!
Hurrah! Hurrah! That dirty, drunken bum!
For he was very mean to me when I was very young,
Hooray, hooray, hooray, they're hanging father!

CHORUS:
Don't cry, lady, I'll buy your goddamned violets,
Don't cry, lady, your pencils, too;
Don't cry, lady, take off those coloured glasses -
Hullo, mother, I knew it was you!

Hurrah! Hurrah! My uncle's gonna be shot!
Hurrah! Hurrah! That no-good, drunken sot!
For he was very free with me when I just a tot,
Hooray, hooray, hooray, they're shooting uncle!

Hurrah! Hurrah! My brother's gonna be destroyed!
Hurrah! Hurrah! That no-good anthropoid,
For he always used to try on me the things he read in Freud,
Hooray, hooray, hooray, they're wrecking brother!

Hurrah! Hurrah! My cousin's gonna be hurt!
Hurrah! Hurrah! That dirty sex pervert,
For he was very free with me when I was just a squirt,
Hooray, hooray, hooray, they're hurting cousin!^^^

Don't put any big bets on the absolute accuracy of this. Some of those lines might have migrated between verses. If you can get a better one, use it!

Subject: ADD: Don't Cry, Lady
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 25 Mar 02 - 08:25 AM

Arjay,

I have this song in a Jerry Silverman compilation of songs guaranteed to upset somebody. Based on my recollection, Hrothgar's got it about right. If you need chords, I will look them up at home tonight and post them on the 'Cat tomorrow.

Roger in Baltimore

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Thread #8321   Message #51469
Posted By: Roger in Baltimore
30-Dec-98 - 07:43 PM
Thread Name: Self righteous prats
Subject: ADD: Don't Cry, Lady ^^

I think we all have the right to censor our singing however we wish. It is censoring others that is the problem.

Cursing is unusual in my vocabulary, but I recognize it as a part of the idiom. I recently sang at an open mike held in a church social hall. A large proportion of the audience was composed of members of that church. Well, I really wanted to sing Chuck Brodsky's ode to road rage, "Blow 'Em Away". Chuck elected to put "son of a bitch" in the song twice and noted that he gave one driver "the finger". I censored the song due to what I call "respect for the audience." The song offends others, because it describes the killing on several people and one dog, but that didn't bother me in this venue.

The response from the audience was very positive. Several people sought me out for more information about the song. Now, I would not sing this song at all at a "peace rally" (of course, I'm not likely to be invited, either). It would certainly offend most of that audience.

I think offending is the key. My life has gone much smoother since I gave up the notion of not offending anyone, it is a Sisyphian task. I think we can choose to some degree how many we are willing to offend in a particular audience.

Jerry Silverman published a collection of 62 songs called "The Panic is On". I like the book because it seems to contain enough irreverent songs that everyone would be offended by at least one of them. They are mostly humorous (to my mind), but clearly have the power to offend.

Here's one I never sang outside of my own house.

DON'T CRY LADY

Chorus:
Don't cry, lady, I'll buy your Goddamn violets.
Don't cry, lady, your pencils, too.
Don't cry, lady, take off those colored glasses.
Hello, mother, I knew it was you.

Hooray, hooray, my father's gonna get shot,
Hooray, hooray, that dirty drunken sot.
For he was very mean to me when I was just a tot.
Hooray, they're gonna shoot my father.
CHO:

Hooray, hooray, my uncle's gonna get hung.
Hooray, hooray, that dirty drunken bum.
For he was very mean to me when I was very young.
Hooray, they're gonna hang my uncle.
CHO:

Hooray, hooray, my brother's gonna get hurt.
Hooray, hooray, that dirty sex pervert.
For he was very free with me when I was just a squirt,
Hooray, they're gonna hurt my brother.
CHO:

Hooray, hooray, my cousin's gonna get destroyed.
Hooray, hooray, that no good anthropoid.
For he would always try on me the things he'd read in Freud.
Hooray, they're gonna wreck my cousin.
CHORUS:

So, I think this has capability to offend. So much so, I've never sung it in public. When I feel very angry, I sometimes sing it for myself.

Roger in Baltimore ^^

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: GUEST,Arjay
Date: 25 Mar 02 - 08:31 PM

Yeah, Roger, Hrothgar's post jibes with my recollection of the lyrics, too. (Thanks, Hrothgar!)

I think I remember the tune, and if so the chords are pretty easy. But just to prevent 'tune drift,' would you mind posting them?

Also, did Silverman write it?

Arjay

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: Art Thieme
Date: 25 Mar 02 - 08:48 PM

I heard Frank Hamilton do this about 1959 or 60.

Art

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: GUEST,Dave Williams
Date: 25 Mar 02 - 10:47 PM

A very similar chorus was used in a parody of "Are You from Dixie?" (circa 1910) called "Are You from Function Junction?" around 1960. The first verse went: Are you from Function, From Function Junction, Where those Function Junction suction pumps are made,...Well, I'm from Function, too.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: musicmick
Date: 26 Mar 02 - 12:27 AM

There is a great variation to the chorus. When you get to the very last chorus, you sing,

Dont cry, old man, I'll but your stinkin' violets/ Dont cry, old man, your pencils, too/ Dont cry, old man. Take off those dark sunglasses/ Hello, mother, I knew it was you!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: Art Thieme
Date: 26 Mar 02 - 04:37 AM

Frank sang that too==but with "ladies".

Art

Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: DON'T CRY LADY
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 26 Mar 02 - 08:17 AM

Here are chords and lyrics as promised. Hrothgar was pretty close (close enough for folk music?). BG

DON'T CRY LADY
(Anon.)

CHO:

C
Don't cry lady, I'll buy your God damn violets,

.................D7...........G7
Don't cry lady, your pencils, too.

..C........C7....F..............D7......G7
Don't cry lady, take off those colored glasses.

C..E7...Am.......D7.......G7..C
Hello, mother, I knew it was you.

.........C
Hooray, hooray, my father's gonna get shot.

.....................................G7
Hooray, hooray, that dirty, drunken sot.

.....C...........C7....................F.....F#dim.
For he was very mean to me when I was just a tot,

C................m.............D7.G7....C
Hooray, they're gonna shoot my fa-a-a-ther. CHO:

Hooray, hooray, my uncle's gonna get hung.
Hooray, hooray, that dirty, drunken bum.
For he was very mean to me when I was very young,
Hooray, they're gonna hang my uncle. CHO:

Hooray, hooray, my broher's gonna get hurt.
Hooray, hooray, that dirty, sex pervert.
For he was very free with me when I was just a squirt,
Hooray, they're gonna hurt my broher. CHO:

Hooray, hooray, my cousin's gonna get destroyed.
Hooray, hooray, that no good anthropoid.
For he would always try on me the things he'd read in Freud.
Hooray, they're gonna wreck my cousin. CHO:

From The Panic is On, compiled by Jerry Silverman

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: GUEST,Arjay
Date: 26 Mar 02 - 09:30 PM

Come to think of it, I remember the lyric as "stinkin' violets," rather than "God-damned," though the sentiment's pretty much the same.

Thanks, y'all.

Arjay

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lady, I'll buy your damned violets
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 09:06 AM

I found this information at Pete Levin's web site: http://www.petelevin.com/ibbb06.htm

Pete was formerly a member of the Incredible Broadside Brass Bed Band, which recorded an LP called "The Great Grizzly Bear Hunt" in 1972. One of the cuts on that album was called "Don't Cry Lady, I'll Buy Your God-Damned Violets." Authorship is credited to Bill Comeau, another member of the band. Unfortunately, he doesn't give lyrics.

At least now we know the correct title.

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https://youtu.be/o6jPPoDQ8JA?t=623

Subject: ADD: Function Junction
From: GUEST,Guest: thomae
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 06:21 PM

I have a recording of The New Wine Singers "Live at the Hungry I" and the song is on it. My guess is that the recording is from the early 60s.

FUNCTION JUNCTION

Are you from Function,
From Function Junction,
Where those Function Junction suction pumps are made?
Are you from Function,
From Function Junction?
Well, I'm from Function too.

Don't cry lady,
I'll buy your goddamn violets.
Don't cry lady,
I'll buy your pencils, too.
Don't cry lady,
Take off those dark glasses.

Hello, Mother!
I knew it was you!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMc7yaylJ_E

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T CRY, LADY, I'LL BUY YOUR GOD-DAMNED
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Oct 16 - 09:01 PM

This is the version from The Incredible Broadside Brass Bed Band's album, "The Great Grizzly Bear Hunt:"

Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your God-damned Violets
(An Existential Lamentation in Three Acts)


    Don't cry lady. I'll buy your goddamn violets,
    Don't cry lady. Your pencils too.
    Don't cry lady. Take off your colored glasses
    Hello mother, I knew it was you.

Hoorah (hoorah), hoorah (hoorah),
My sister's gonna get hurt.
Hoorah (hoorah), hoorah (hoorah),
That dirty sex pervert.
She used to do weird things to me when I was just a squirt,
Hoorah, boys, they're gonna hurt my sister. So...

    Don't cry lady. I'll buy your goddamn violets,
    Don't cry lady. Your pencils too.
    Don't cry lady. Take off your colored glasses
    Hello mother, I knew it was you.

Hoorah (hoorah), hoorah (hoorah),
My cousin's gonna get hung.
Hoorah (hoorah), hoorah (hoorah),
That dirty son-of-a-gun.
He was very weird to me and warped my personality
Hoorah, they're gonna hang my cousin, so...

    Don't cry lady. I'll buy your goddamn violets,
    Don't cry lady. Your pencils too.
    Don't cry lady. Take off your colored glasses
    Hello mother, I knew it was you.

Hoorah (hoorah), hoorah (hoorah),
My brother's gonna be destroyed.
Hoorah (hoorah), hoorah (hoorah),
That dirty anthropoid.
He used to do all the things to me he'd read out of Freud,
Hoorah, they're gonna wreck my brother, so...

    Don't cry lady. I'll buy your goddamn violets,
    Don't cry lady. Your pencils too.
    Don't cry lady. Take off your colored glasses
    Hello mother,
    I knew
    it was
    you.

https://youtu.be/o6jPPoDQ8JA?t=623

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: GUEST,Guest TF
Date: 09 Oct 16 - 11:46 AM

You could try asking Tom Paley. He's the first guy I heard singing this at an Inverness Festival back in the early seventies.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: Lighter
Date: 09 Oct 16 - 12:26 PM

Jerry Silverman prints the song with its music in "The Panic is On" (1966).

The note reads:

"A product of the CCNY cafeteria of the late 1940's. I remember making up verses and singing them with Moe Hirsch and Tom Paley."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 07:53 PM

Hello.
I have heard this song once, only the first verse, and it was sung on TV by Carol Burnett. My sister and I found it hilarious, remembered the words, and used to sing it all the time. (We assumed at the time that it was original.) I am pretty sure this was when she was with the Garry Moore show, which would put it before about 1966. That being so, I don't understand the copyright notice for it, which can be found on-line, for Bill Comeau of the Incredible Broadside Brass Bed Band, in 1971, but I find it is a lot easier to find lyrics for old songs than to find reliable histories. I found one entry which refers to it as a British music hall song though no reliable reference is provided and Jerry Silverman, as noted above, dates it back to the 40s.
An earlier reply notes remembering "stinking violets" rather than "God damned violets". This is, of course, for obvious reasons, the version Carol Burnett used.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: Felipa
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 10:02 AM

I heard the song from Howie Bursen when he was a student at Cornell U. His chorus started Don't cry ladies, I'll buy your paper roses ...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: GUEST,JP
Date: 10 Jun 17 - 04:11 PM

Like GUEST.guest 23 Feb 17, I heard Carol Burrnet sing it on Gary Moore. I too thought it hilarious and guickly wrote down the lyrics. But I had it : those crudy violets.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jan 20 - 01:15 PM

don't cry lady must be from about '56, not '66. Very shocking to a 10 year old.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Jan 20 - 01:55 PM

Carol Holdstock (wife of Dick) sings this one with con mucho gusto. It always cracks us up. We senior citizens entertain ourselves so easily.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Origins: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: GUEST
Date: 18 May 23 - 01:14 AM

It goes:
Are you from Function, from Function Junction,
Where the Function Junction Suction Cups are made?
If you're from Function, from Function Junction,
Well I'm from Function too.

Subject: RE: Origins: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: The Og
Date: 19 May 23 - 10:09 AM

We sing a Medley as follows...

"Don't Cry Lady" is the Chorus.


Don’t Cry Medley (A/D = G/C on 2)

G                     C
Don’t cry lady, I’ll buy your stinking violets,
G                                                       D
Don’t cry lady, I’ll buy your pencils too,
G                      C
Don’t cry lady, take off those colored glasses,
G                      D                  G
Hello, Mother, I knew it was you.
   
             C                                     F
About a year ago September, as close as I remember,
         C                                                   G
I was walking down the street in tipsy pride,
         C                                        F
Not a soul was I disturbing, as I lay down by the curbing,
             C                         G                        C                     
When a pig came up and lay down by my side.

As I lay there in the gutter, thinking thoughts I cannot utter,
A lady passing by was heard to say:
“You can tell a fool who boozes by the company he chooses,”
And the pig got up and slowly walked away

        _ _ _ _ _


       C               E7                A7
The girl of my dreams has dyed her hair…
            Dm          A7    Dm
    and now its a fiery red,
       G7                                          C             A7
She drinks, she smokes and she tells dirty jokes…
          D7                              G7
    she hasn’t a brain in her head.
       C             E7                A7
The girl of my dreams is a cigarette fiend…
          Dm                A7               Dm
    she drinks more booze than I,
             F             Cdim                  C                   A7
But the girl of my dreams ain’t as dumb as she seems…
                     D7                   G7          C
    she’s the sweetheart of six other guys.

        _ _ _ _ _


            C                                     F
Oh the liquor was spilled on the barroom floor,
             C
And the bar was closed for the night.
                                                      F
When a little mouse crept from a hole in the wall,
C               G             C
Out in the pale moonlight.

Well, he lapped up the liquor on the barroom floor,
And upon his haunches he sat.
And all night long, you could hear him roar…
"Bring on the damned ol’ cat!“

Subject: RE: Origins: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: and e
Date: 09 Apr 25 - 08:11 PM

DON'T CRY LADY

Don't cry lady, I'll buy your goddam flowers
Don't cry lady, I'll buy your pencils too.
Don't cry lady, take off your dark brown glasses,
Hello mother, I knew it was you!

c1956. Party Songs of Alpha Sig. p. 22. Rutger's University.

See here: https://archive.org/details/1957ca-party-songs-of-alpha-sig/page/22/mode/2up?q=cry+lady

Subject: RE: Origins: Don't Cry, Lady, I'll Buy Your...Violets
From: and e
Date: 09 Apr 25 - 08:19 PM

This version was contributed by Phillip Sprague of San Francisco,
Calif., who knew it as a youth in Seattle, Wash., about 1930.

The exact chorus was known on the U.C.L.A. campus around 1953-56
by Nancy Evans and Donna Schill.

FRUNCTION JUNCTION

Are you from Frunction, from Frunction Junction,
Where the Function Junction suction cups are made?
Are you from Fruction Junction, I say from Frunction?
Well, I'm from Frunction too!

Chorus:
Don't cry lady, I'll buy your god-damned flowers,
Don't cry lady, I'll buy your pencils too,
Don't cry lady, Take off those big dark glasses,
Hello, mother, I knew it was you.

c.1953. Devilcat Songs. Songbook of the Marine Air Squadron
VMF-212 "Devilcats," aboard aircraft carrier "Rendova Bay". Edited
by Nancy Evans, UCLA, 1960.