Subject: Mistriss Taylor's Poisin
From:
*#1 PEASANT*
Date: 26 Mar 02 - 08:02 PM
Mistriss Taylor's Poisin!
Tune- The Bonny Laddy's Yung Mistriss Taylor she got drunk an' wes fightin wiv her man,
So he thowt the way te quiet her-te nail her wes his plan;
He blacken'd byeth her eyes- for his blows she cuddnt stop,
An' he thwot that just the way te keep here noise in;
So what de ye think she did but gan tiv a kimist's shop,
Wiv here mind myed up te swally nowt but poisin. The kimist he luckt at her an' he saw that she wes full,
She axt for oxlid assid,--but he wassent such a feul
Te give her such a thing, for he thowt twad de as weel
If he gov her sumthin else just like the mixtor;
So he wrapt up Epsom Salts an put poisin on the seal,
An' kept laffin tiv hissel the way he'd fix'd her. Mistriss Taylor she got hyem efter scramlin up the stairs,
Then she drunk a pot o' whiskey an begun to say her prayers,
An' she swally'd the whole dose as detarmin'd as cud be,
For the drink it myed her braverthan she wad been;
But thereckly it wes ower, whey she thowt she cuddent dee,
Ay, an' noo she wes mair sober than she had been. She shooted iv her man, an' she browt him tiv her side,
There he saw her pale as only ghost wi' eyes an' mooth se wide;
Says she--Aw'll dee, aw's poisn'd bringthe doctor here to me,
For, Jack, awve been a wife byeth gud an' thrifty,
So run away like leetnin, for aw's ower yung te dee,
Ay, aw's ower yung te dee- aw's only fifty! He ron an 'browt the kimist,--the syem kimmist i' the lark,--
Says he,--Aw goh ye Epson Salts, they cannet be at wark.
Se seun as this, aw's sartin!-an' it fill'd her full o' shem,
But the salts they work'd a cure her man had wanted,
For since then she's been teetotal, an' she says she'll keep the syem;
For her mind wi' salts an' poisin's always hauntid. -Source: Joe Wilson, Tyneside Songs and Drolleries
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