Subject: The Row in the Gutter
From:
*#1 PEASANT*
Date: 15 Apr 02 - 11:05 AM
Th' Row I' Th' Gutter One day wen oot waulken aw hard sum foakes tauken.
We voices is lood is th' one o'clock gun:
For awl aw cud heer thim, aw cudint get neer thim.
For scors iv awl kinds wis injoyin th' fun.
Wiv pruven en fenden en borren en lenden
Aw axt i' yund woman wat awl th' row meend;
Up spoke Mistris Ruttor: It's just this awd guttor.
Thor's a row ivory day wen it has to be cleend. Spoken—Yis, aw spent en ooor an' a half very canny. Skin and hair wis fleein, an' ony amaunt e secrits. If aw kin get te naw the next day it hes to be cleend aw'll be thare seun eneuf. Af got te naw thor nick nuaims, and whe thae'n been woer kind with, en wen aw saw thim on boxin, aw sed to masel— Chorus:
Wat need we care aboot Afgans or Zulus,
Let Rushians or Prushians cum neer if thae dar;
We'brum en wi' bussoms we'll slay thim be dussons,
Th' petticote ridgmint's the boys for th' war. Sais young Meggy Robson tiv aud Nanny Dobson
'Aw lent ye sum buttor a fortnith th' day;
Then ye gat a shillen, ye drunken aud villan,
Ye promist te cum en pait't back th' pay.
Buaith ye en th' guttor yor shillen en buttor,
Sais aud Nanny Dobson, kin gan to th' toon;
For yor clais en Jimmey's yor bedgoons en shimees,
Is awl up th' spoot, en thae'll nivor cum doon. Spoken-She was lit up thare aguain. War wis on e two difforint places. Thore wis nee big guns, but thore wis sum vary big tongues; en thor neeves wis fleein, so aw torned roond to Jack Scott en aw sais— Chorus-
Young Meggy Robson feld and Nanny Dobson,
For saying thit hor clais en' thare Jim's was in paun;
Then young Janey Dixon en Margit Jane Nixon
Buaith seis'd upon Meggy for striken et Nan.
And Mistris Stoker com oot wi' the poker,
As suen as she saw there wis two upon Meg;
Bein' in such a spluttor she fell i' th' guttor,
En happind to brick th' sma' buain iv her leg Spoken- Poor, aud body! It wis a bad job for hor but it wis a gud job for th' tuthors. She says te this day if she hadint broke hor leg she wud heh broken sum e thor necks. So wen we heh such gud sowljors as these— Chorus- Wile in the bother they feld one anuthor,
'Twis awful te stand en te lisson thor cries;
And Sally Cairns went yem tiv hor bairns,
She grapil'd the way, wi' two bonny black eyes
Thim for to friten en stope awl thor fiten,
The Sargint seez'd two for te tuaik them to jail;
But they iviryone seez'd him—bie gum! Hoo they squiz'd him—
He off, en they cudint lay salt iv his tail. Spoken- Wen he gat yem he had nee hat on, nee buttons on his cote, en three-parts ov his cote lap rovin off; en as money scratches on his fyece as if thord' been a undrid cats on him. Wen he wis tellin' the wife where he'd been, she borst oot laffin, en started to sing— Chorus- Aud Polly Trumil struck young Besse Humil,
Becaws she had cauld her a dorty nick nuaim;
They ivory one at it, they fit en they bat it,
Till not one amang them wis fit te wauk yem
They sent for the doctor-his nuaim was John Proctor-
An'then for the pollisses-Jacksin en Jones;
An' they sent a letter for Hall, the bonesetter,
An' it teuk him three days for te set awl the bones. Spoken—
The Battle o' Waterloo was nowt te this one. There wis ony amount o' black eyes en broken bones. But for noses-they wor awl shapes; sum was braid reet te one side, en sum was braid as flat as a pen-kyek; en as much skin en hair lyen aboot as wad muaik a hundred shinons. So we gather up the war gear en started te sing
Chorus One Good Source:Polisses & Candymen, The Complete Works of Tommy Armstrong, The Pitman Poet, ed. Ross Forbes, TommyArmstrong Memorial Trust, 1987.
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