Lyr Req: British music hall songs

Subject: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc
Date: 18 Apr 02 - 08:38 PM

Without going in to details .. I've had burglars and I desperately need the words of two songs. First is " A little bit of cucmber" and the other is " Bread and Marmalade" Any help would be so welcome.

Doc

Subject: Add: A LITTLE BIT OF CUCUMBER (Harry Champion)^^^
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Apr 02 - 09:39 PM

Is this the one?

A LITTLE BIT OF CUCUMBER
(Harry Champion)

I was weaned on cucumber, and on my wedding day,
Sitting down to supper when the guests had gone away,
My old darling said to me, "You must be hungry, Joe.
What is it you fancy?" I said, "Fancy! Don't you know?"

CHORUS: "I like pickled onions, I like piccalilli.
Pickled cabbage is all right
With a bit of cold meat on Sunday night.
I can go termartoes, but what I do prefer,
Is a little bit of cu-cum-cu-cum-cu-cum, little bit of cucumber."

I went flying in the air with my old college chum.
Suddenly he said to me, "We're bound for kingdom come!
Is there anything on your mind before you wear a crown?"
I began to shake and said, "Write this confession down: CHORUS

To the Lord Mayor's banquet, I got in one foggy day.
When I saw the grub, it took my appetite away:
"Sparrowgrass" and chaffinches, and pigs-head stuffed with jam!
I said to the waiter there, "You don't know who I am!" CHORUS

Sev'ral years of married life have brought me lots of joys.
I don't know how many girls, I think it's fourteen boys.
When the last one came to town, it nearly turned my head.
It was marked with a cucumber, and the fust words that it said
Were: CHORUS^^^

(I'll go look for the other one.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Apr 02 - 09:41 PM

The only thing I found about "Bread and Marmalade" is a very short "chant" thing to the breakfast bugle call........any lyric snippets at all?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 01:25 AM

Sorcha ... I can't thank you enough for the Harry Champion song, cheers. I have no lyric hints for the other one. There is a part in the song where the lad is with his girlfriend and he 'reaches' for something in the dark?? she complains and his reply includes' I thought it was me bread and marmalade'. hey thanks again

Doc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 02:33 AM

"Little Bit of Cucumber" is in the DigiTrad (with a tune) along with 3 or 4 other "cumbumber" songs. (Search for cucumber...)

Not finding anything on the "bread and marmalade" one, though. I'll keep looking too--but if Sorcha The Search Queen can't find it, I'm not feeling too hopeful!

Lin in Kansas

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 03:44 AM

Isn't it
A little bit of cu-cum
I come, you come,
A little bit of cu-cum-ber...? I heard it done that way on the BBC Light Programme by Billy Cotton & his band (or some other of that ilk); in those days it wouldn't have been thought of as "unsuitable" because of the sheltered lives led by The Powers That Were on the wireless. But it wouldn't be our 'Arry if it didn't sound smutty, would it?

Steve

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 07:11 PM

I think it is the audience that is supposed to supply "I come, you come". It isn't part of the official lyrics.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,Grayd
Date: 19 Apr 02 - 08:22 PM

The whole of Harry Champion's original recording is available at

http://www.firstworldwar.com/audio/index.htm .

And quite splendid it is. Thanks for drawing it to my attention.

"Bread and Marmalade" was recorded by the outstanding duo "Cosmotheka" on the album "Cosmotheka" on Dambuster Records (DAM008) if you can track it down - the record is a bit rare though. Sorry, haven't got the time to do a transcription for you at the moment. I'll keep you in mind. If you don't get any joy on this thread, watch for a future posting.

For info. there is also an outstanding site for music hall monologues (an essential part of the genre) at http://www.monologues.co.uk/ .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: The Walrus
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 06:36 AM

For those that prefer to keep recordings, a lot of the songs (the civilian ones)- Including "Bit of Cucumber" - quoted on the web site above can be found on the CD "Laughter on the Home Front" (Past CD 7047 from Pavilion Records Ltd).

Regards

Walrus

Subject: Lyr Add: BREAD AND MARMALADE
From: GUEST,Grayd
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 08:06 AM

Taken from the album that I mentioned above:

BREAD AND MARMALADE
As recorded by Cosmotheka - originally recorded by Sam Mayo

Some years ago when I was mother's baby
For bread and marmalade I 'ad a craze.
I got so very fond of it that really
I always 'ave some wiv me nowadays.
Last night I spooned with a girl named Jane Louise,
And as we sat beneath the shady trees,
She starts to murmur, "Darling, give me something,
As a token that your love will never fade,
Just something I can slip inside me shift dear.”
So I slipped 'er me bread and marmalade

Poor father 'ee was taken ill one evening.
We knew not what to give 'im for the best.
We 'adn't got a single drop o' brandy,
So I made a mustard plaster for 'is chest.
I crept up to 'is bedroom late at night,
And slapped it on 'is chest with all me might.
Poor father jumped from bed shoutin', "Murder!"
The temper of a tiger 'ee displayed.
Instead of pickin' up the mustard plaster,
I'd shoved inside me bread and marmalade.

Once I was in a smash-up on the railway.
To me it was a bit beyond a joke.
For 'alf an hour or more I lay unconscious,
Then to the smell of whisky I awoke.
I crawled a yard or two along the ground,
But not a sign of anyone I found.
At last I clutched at something in the darkness,
And the sweetest little voice cried from the shade,
"How dare you touch me there!" I said, "I'm sorry.
I thought it was me bread and marmalade."

Like every Englishman, I'm patriotic.
I went to see a tattooed girl today,
And on 'er form she'd got the map of Europe
Tattooed in different colours by the way.
She'd France and Belgium in red and green and black,
And good old England tattooed on 'er back.
I looked at 'er and shouted, "Rule Britannia!"
And as me Union Jack I 'ad displayed,
Right on the part where she'd the German Empire,
I slapped me bloomin' bread and marmalade. (She didn't like it, but...)

I looked at 'er and shouted, "Rule Britannia!"
And as me Union Jack I 'ad displayed,
Right on the part where she'd the German Empire,
I slapped me bloomin' bread and marmalade.

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 21-Apr-02.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 08:44 AM

Thanks so much you folks for all your help.. it's got me out of a real pickle.. {I like pickled onions.. i like piccalilli} .. weeeeell I'm in a good mood now . Thanks Grayd for yours and those very useful links too. Out of interest does anyone hear old music hall songs sung in public anywhere now??

Doc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 10:32 AM

If you are interested in music hall songs Roy Hudd's "Those Were the Music Hall Days" is a good buy. and from the Society of St George site
Click here
The following is available plus a variety of English folk material

COCKNEY KINGS OF MUSIC HALL
CD-SDL 413 (CD)/CSDL 413 (MC) 78 mins
The major stars of the London Music Hall stage from 1899 to 1931 from the original recordings. 25 songs including Gus Elen If It Wasn't For The 'ouses In Between, Down the Road. Harry Champion Any Old Iron?, Boiled Beef and Carrots, I'm Getting Ready for My Mother-in-Law. Albert Chevalier The Future Mrs. 'awkins, Right As Ninepence. Dan Leno The May-Day Fireman. Sam Mayo I've Only Come Down For The Day. Charles Coborn Should Husbands Work? Nat Travers Won't Yer Buy Some Beer? Harry Bedford The Germans Are Coming, So They Say. Fred Earle Meat! Meat! Tom Woottwell Wait A Minute. Fred Lay The Penny Whistler. Harry Ford The Day That I Became A Millionaire. Ernie Mayne And The Fog Grew Thicker and Thicker. Duncan & Godfrey The Coster's Christening. George Brooks And His Day's Work Was Done. Charles Austin I've Only Been Married A Week. Rich & Rich The King of Karactacus. Herbert Darnley My Next Door Neighbour's Garden and more. "Some really choice stuff here… period humour on eternal themes." – Daily Telegraph.

THE GOLDEN YEARS OF MUSIC HALL
CD-SDL 380 (CD)/CSDL 380 (MC) 77 mins
Favourite songs sung by the original artists. 23 original recordings including My Old Dutch, I'm Henery the Eighth, Burlington Bertie, Old Bull & Bush, Nellie Dean, I'm Shy Mary Ellen, I Belong to Glasgow, A Little of What You Fancy, Man Who Broke the Bank at Monte Carlo by Albert Chevalier, Gus Elen, Marie Lloyd, Florrie Forde, Dan Leno, Little Tich, Harry Champion, Mark Sheridan, Vesta Victoria, Jack Pleasants, Harry Fragson, Vesta Tilley, George Robey, Clarice Mayne, Ella Shields, George Formby Snr., Harry Lauder, Gertie Gitana. "A thoroughly enthralling 77 minutes… the yardstick by which all future such compilations will be measured." – Folk Roots.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 10:46 AM

Re: Cosmotheka, a new thread asked about Dambuster Records. I found This;
Dambuster Records 24 Mercer Row/ Louth/ Lincolnshire LN11 9JJ/ England Found at the following site: http://www.dirtynelson.com/linen/special/label.html

CHEERS!

Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Mr Red
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 02:24 PM

Anyone got the Words to the Galloping Major? Written by Mr Barstow or Bristow?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 20 Apr 02 - 02:30 PM

Does anyone have the words to a song performed by Lilly Morris - "Only a Working Man"?
It was used as the theme tune for Charly Drake's TV series "The Worker"

Doug

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 21 Apr 02 - 12:24 PM

Mr: Red
Just for starters:
Bumpety Bumpety bumpety bump,
As if I was riding a charger,
Bumpety Bumpety bumpety bump,
As proud as an Indian Rajah,
(This line I've no recollection of)
That He's a gay old stager,
Hey! Hey! clear the way!
Here comes the galloping Major

Hope this jogs someone's memory for you

Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 21 Apr 02 - 01:05 PM

The memory's the first to go. No sooner did I log out & go and make a cuppa than I get the missing line.
".....Rajah, All the girls declare that He's a gay old stager"
I only recall there being one verse, and even that seems to be cofused as to whether it's in first or third person, any one else with input ?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Mr Red
Date: 21 Apr 02 - 03:22 PM

thanks - this is an exceedingly racy song for the era - it uses the word sex in the context of gender but we know what he meant! I will go looking elsewhere soon.

Subject: Lyr Add: THE GALLOPING MAJOR
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Oct 06 - 12:13 PM

THE GALLOPING MAJOR.

(George Henry Bastow - 1906). Stanley Kirkby - c.1910.


All the girls declare
He's a grand old stager
Bumpety-bumpety-bumpety-bump
Here comes the Galloping Major

Bumpety-bumpety-bumpety-bump
Here comes the galloping major
Bumpety-bumpety-bumpety-bump
As proud as an Indian rajah

All the girls declare
That I'm the golden pater
Hi, hi, clear the way
Here comes the Galloping Major

Bumpety-bumpety-bumpety-bump
As if I was riding a charger
Bumpety-bumpety-bumpety-bump
As fit as an Indian rajah

All the girls declare
That I'm the gallant major
Hi, hi, clear the way
Here comes the Galloping Major














http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/t/thegallopingmajor.shtml

Subject: Lyr Add: THE GALLOPING MAJOR (Leigh/Barstow)
From: GUEST,Tanyer
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 08:04 PM

The Galloping Major
Words by Fred. W. Leigh; music by George Barstow; ©1906.

When I was in the army I was a cavalry man you know
And whenever I went on parade
A magnificent picture I made
Through my galloping here and, and my galloping there
This ridiculous habit I got
And I'm hanged if I don't think I'm galloping now
Whether up in the saddle or not!
And the people stare at me so,
For it matters not where I may go, It's

Chorus
Bumpity! Bumpity! Bumpity! Bump!
As if I was riding my charger
Bumpity! Bumpity! Bumpity! Bump!
As proud as an Indian Rajah.
All the girls declare, that I'm a gay old stager.
Hey! Hey! Clear the way! Here comes the Galloping Major

Last year I thought I'd treat myself to a holiday by the sea,
So I went and my quarters I fixed;
Then I found that the bathing was mixed.
So I gallop'd away to a bathing machine
In the busiest part of the day,
And I soon felt at home with the girls in the water
And I joined in their frivolous play.
The were beautiful creatures but, Lor!
How they giggled as soon as they saw ME

Chorus

I always was a ladies man, and a favorite with the sex
Well I called upon one yesterday
Though I won't give the lady away!
She started to talk of my army career
And was quite interested you see,
But I got rather tired, so we talk'd about her
Which was more interesting than me.
And she said I'd been taking some wine
For as soon as we sat down to dine I WENT

Chorus


:) Hope that helps!

---

Apparently, the authors are (George Henry Bastow - 1906). Stanley Kirkby - c.1910
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,jane
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 05:44 PM

hi - looking for the words to 'Oh Mr Porter' no idea who snag or wrote it - any help would be appreciated.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 06:15 PM

Guest, jane - you'll find the words here: Oh Mr. Porter

Mick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 15 Jul 07 - 09:39 PM

While we're on that subject: Murray & Leigh's "Charlie Piecan" made it into Auden's Oxford Book of Light Verse. I wouldn't mind knowing the tune.

Subject: Lyr Add: OH MR PORTER (from Marie Lloyd)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 17 Jul 07 - 08:39 AM

Copied from the web site that Mike Pearce provided the link to, above.

OH! MR PORTER
Words, Thomas Le Brunn. Music, George Le Brunn. 1893.
Sung by Marie Lloyd.

1. Lately I just spent a week with my old Aunt Brown,
Came up to see the wond'rous sights of famous London Town.
Just a week I had of it. All round the place we'd roam.
Wasn't I sorry on the day I had to go back home?
Worried about with packing, I arrived late at the station,
Dropped my hat-box in the mud. The things all fell about.
Got my ticket, said 'good-bye'.
"Right away!" the guard did cry,
But I found the train was wrong, and shouted out:

CHORUS: Oh! Mister Porter, what shall I do?
I want to go to Birmingham and they're taking me on to Crewe.
Send me back to London as quickly as you can.
Oh! Mister Porter, what a silly girl I am!

2. The porter would not stop the train, but laughed and said, "You must
Keep your hair on, Mary Ann, and mind that you don't bust!"
Some old gentleman inside declared that it was hard,
Said, "Look out of the window, Miss, and try and call the guard."
Didn't I, too, with all my might! I nearly balanced over,
But my old friend grasped my leg, and pulled me back again.
Nearly fainting with the fright,
I sank into his arms, a sight,
Went into hysterics but I cried in vain: CHORUS

3. On his clean old shirtfront then I laid my trembling head.
"Do take it easy. Rest awhile," the dear old chappie said.
"If you make a fuss of me and on me do not frown,
You shall have my mansion, dear, away in London Town."
Wouldn't you think me silly if I said I could not like him?
Really he seemed a nice old boy, so I replied this way:
"I will be your own for life,
Your imay-doodleum little wife,
If you'll never tease me any more. I say: CHORUS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Mr Happy
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 11:49 AM

The man who broke the bank at Monte-Carlo 1933


http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fW6LCpHSh7I

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,Marky B
Date: 23 Jan 08 - 07:57 PM

Hmmn Iv got the record on 78 by Stanley Kirby its a very worn accoustic recording, will try to make sence of it

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 04:06 PM

I'm still a little stunned at the idea of a burglar who'd steal lyrics, and music hall ones at that. We happily give them away.

Hope the rest of the stuff knicked was as easily replaced.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Jan 08 - 04:07 PM

nicked. Saw it as I pressed 'submit.'

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,Catriona
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 11:56 AM

Happily married, I often quote the song "Mrs Carter", which I first heard in 1981 on BBC Radio 'Folk on 2' sung by the amazing Cosmotheka. (I since got it on their album 'A Little Bit Off The Top'.) I see that it was previously sung by Gus Elen in the music halls but I haven't tracked down the lyrics. Here's my transcription of the last verse and chorus (please correct as necessary):

---------
"Now I'm absolutely sick of this 'ere life.
I gets quite exasperuted like and snappy.
Well I'll have to row with someone else's wife
'Cause it's a misery for me to be so 'appy.
I've done my very best to do my worst
All kind of provocation I've been giving.
If I don't soon 'ave a row I think I'll bust.
Allows the magistrate to get their living. (??)

Oh she's too good to live is Mrs Carter (??)
She's a tartar and I'm a martyr.
I feels just if I'd like to 'art her (??)
Upon my word she's awful aggravating.
Why don't she jaw a bit or cause a little riot somehow?
What's the use a couple's getting married at all
if they never 'as a bloomin' row?"
----------

The thing is, if she's a tartar then how come she doesn't even jaw a bit? Is this a different meaning of "tartar" ('a formidable, rough, unmanageable person' in my dictionary)?

What about the disturbing "she's too good to live" - Is he planning to kill her or am I just overanalyzing? My husband finds the song a bit alarming but I do find the last two lines of the chorus very useful for deflating any hint of marital disharmony. It's worked for 15 years so far!

Anyone out there who understands the music hall mentality or knows better about the lyrics?

Thanks, Catriona

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Jul 08 - 07:00 PM

I searched in Google Books for the phrase "too good to live" and I found these quotes among the oldest books (i.e. before 1845):

"Why, in such a Juncture, is this Good Lady taken? And, why are so many of her Sex, so unlike her, left? Is it in Mercy to Her, or in Judgment to Us? Is it because She was too good to live here, or because We were too wicked to deserve her company?"
—from "Fourteen Sermons Preach'd on Several Occasions," by Francis Atterbury, 1708.

"Thou wast too good to live on earth with me,
And I not good enough to die with thee."
—quoted from an epitaph by William Cowper in a letter dated 1765; in "Life and Works of William Cowper," 1836

"King Edward VI, only Son to Henry VIII, succeeded him in the Crown of England; a Prince that was too good to live long…."
—from "The Life and Errors of John Dunton, Citizen of London," 1818.

"Indeed, we scarcely ever see a very pious boy without a half-thought coming into our minds that he will die soon; as people are in the habit of saying quite proverbially, 'He is too good to live'…."
—from "Lives of the English Saints," by John Henry Newman, 1844.

"Used thus, as men that were too good to live in this wicked world; and accordingly others of them lived recluse and retired from the world, in deserts and hills, and caves of the earth."
—a paraphrase of Hebrews 11:38 by Henry Hammond, in "A Paraphrase and Annotations upon All the Books of the New Testament," 1845.

Subject: Lyr Add: HE'S ONLY A WORKING MAN (from Lily Morris
From: The Doctor
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 06:37 AM

There is a clip on YouTube of Lily Allen singing 'He's only a working man'. The words are, more or less, as follows:

When you pick up your Sunday morning papers
It's nearly always trouble that you read.
Man and wife, always having strife,
The (-----) each of them will (----)
Now if a woman only used a little bit of tact,
With happiness they always would be blessed.
Do the same as I do and you'll never have a row.
Believe me, my old man's one of the best.

Ch: I wake him every morning when the clock strikes eight,
    I'm always punctual, never, never late,
    With a nice cup o' tea and a little round o' toast,
    The Sporting Life and The Winning Post.
    I make him nice and cosy then I toddle off to work
    I do the best I can
    For I'm only doing what a woman should do
    'Cos he's only a working man.

At six o-clock when public houses open
Like a hero he'll get out o' bed, and then
Off he'll go to the pub, you know,
And mixes with his fellow working men.
He lectures them on labour, says, 'God bless the working man'.
By everyone my husband is admired.
Comes home and has his supper, then goes to bed again,
And falls right off to sleep, worn out and tired.

The missing words in line 4 sound like 'separation' and 'seed'. Drop 'h's to suit.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: GUEST,Catriona
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 08:25 AM

Thanks Jim for an excellent bit of investigation! So it could be that Cosmotheka turned the words around and really he's a tartar and she's a martyr, which explains why he feels an urge to 'art her but knows there wouldn't be much to gain from it. I would love to get hold of the Gus Elen version and see what he sang. There may be a songsheet somewhere, or maybe these songs of domestic violence never got into print. (Mr Carter envies the man upstairs who comes to blows with his wife so often that "his face looks like a map of Clapham Junction".)

That sort of switching of lyrics (and meaning) can be found in the folk song "Greenland", a whale fishing tale about the whopper that got away and took ten men with it. In the original version the captain was frustrated about the whale but ten times more distressed to lose ten of his men when the boat capsized. In the version by Gillian Frame & Back of the Moon (2001) he is transformed into a mercenary fellow:

----------
..."We hit that whale and the line paid out
But she gave a flunder with her tail.
The boat capsized and ten men were drowned
And we ne'er did catch that whale, brave boys,
We ne'er did catch that whale.

The losing of those ten brave men
Grieves my heart full sore.
But the losing of that bloody great whale
Grieves me ten times more, brave boys,
Grieves me ten times more."
-----------

Thanks also to The Doctor. I checked out YouTube (surprisingly there are quite a few music hall performances there) and it was Lily Morris singing 'He's only a working man'. The unclear line is "For separation each of them will plead".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OANwX8pFC8A


Once again, Mudcat is the place to go when you need an answer!
- Catriona

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: The Doctor
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 03:57 PM

The clip on U-Tube comes from the film 'Elstree Calling', an early entry in the Hitchcock canon, and available from time to time on eBay, or via a direct email which I now have.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Billy Weeks
Date: 03 Sep 08 - 11:49 AM

Doctor- Surely that was Lily Morris, not Lily Allen?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: The Doctor
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 05:46 AM

Yes it was, and still is. Of all the things that I have lost I miss my mind the most.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 04 Sep 08 - 06:54 PM

I've got the sheet music for Mrs Carter, but unfortunately my collection is langusshing in several large storage boxes. If and when I find it, I will type out the original version.

Subject: Harry Champion
From: GUEST,Darkie
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 06:31 PM

I need a video of H C singing,
"When Father Painted The Ceiling".
Am doing an OLDTYME MUSIC HALL soon
Many thanks

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British musichall songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 07:30 PM

Darkie: Is that a sequel to "When father papered the parlor"?

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T HAVE ANY MORE, MRS MOORE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Jan 11 - 10:44 AM

You can see a video of this performance at YouTube.

(I found these lyrics online and then checked them against the video.)


DON'T HAVE ANY MORE, MRS MOORE
Harry Castling & James Walsh, 1926
Sung by Lily Morris

1. Mrs Moore, who lives next door,
Is such a dear old soul.
Of children she has a score,
And a husband on the dole.
I don't know how she manages to keep that lot, I'm sure.
I said to her today as she was standing at the door:

CHORUS: "Don't have any more, Mrs Moore.
Mrs Moore, please don't have any more.
The more you have, the more you'll want, they say,
And enough is as good as a feast any day.
If you have any more, Mrs Moore,
  You'll have to take the house next door.
  They're alright when they're here,
  But take my advice, old dear,
Don't have any more, Mrs Moore."

2. The little inn she uses most is called The Wooden Hut.
She's first one in at opening time, and last out when they shut.
And when she's had a few she tries to do the la-di-dah,
And gets so ratty when they shout at her across the bar:

CHORUS: "Don't have any more, Mrs Moore.
Mrs Moore, please don't have any more.
The more you have, the more you'll want, they say,
And enough is as good as a feast any day.
If you have any more, Mrs Moore,
  You'll never get to your street door.
  Too many double gins
  Give the ladies double chins.
Don't have any more, Mrs Moore."

3. She's had a lot of husbands who in love with her have fell.
This one is the seventh one, and he don't look too well.
A year ago she married him, and on their wedding day,
As they were walking down the aisle, I heard the parson say:

CHORUS: "Don't have any more, Mrs Moore.
Mrs Moore, please don't have any more.
The more you have, the more you'll want, they say,
And enough is as good as a feast any day.
If you have any more, Mrs Moore,
  I don't know what we'll do, I'm sure.
  Our cemetery's so small,
  There'll be no room for them all.
Don't have any more Mrs Moore."

Subject: Lyr Add: A LITTLE BIT OF CUCUMBER (from HChampion)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Jan 11 - 07:11 AM

You can hear Harry Champion singing this at YouTube or The Internet Archive. I listened, and made these corrections, in boldface, to the lyrics posted by Sorcha above:

A LITTLE BIT OF CUCUMBER
Written by T. W. Connor, 1915
As recorded by Harry Champion, 1915

1. Now, I was weaned on cucumber, and on my wedding day,
When the fun was over and the guests had gone away,
My old darling said to me, "You must be hungry, Joe.
Is there anything you fancy?" I said, "Fancy! Don't you know?"

CHORUS: "I like pickled onions. I like piccalilli.
Pickled cabbage is all right
With {a bit of cold meat}* on Sunday night.
I can go tomatoses, but what I do prefer,
Is a little bit of cucum-, {cucum-, cucum-}**, little bit of cucumber."

2. I went flying through the air with my old college chum.
Suddenly he said to me, "We're bound for kingdom come!
Have you anything on your brain before you wear a crown?"
I began to shake and said, "Write this confession down: CHORUS

3. Sev'ral years of married life have brought me lots of joys.
I don't know how many girls, I think there's fourteen boys.
When the last one came to town, it fairly turned my head.
He was marked with a cucumber, and the first words that he said
Was: CHORUS

4. To the Lord Mayor's banquet, I went in one foggy day.
When I saw the grub, it took my appetite away:
With "Sparrowgrass" and chaffinches, and pig's-head stuffed with jam!
I said, "I don't care for that. You don't know who I am!" CHORUS


* On some repetitions of the chorus, substitute "a bit of cold tripe" or "bubble and squeak."

** On some repetitions of the chorus, substitute "cummy-cum-cum-cum" or "I come, you come."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music-hall songs
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 07:28 AM

Can anyone give me the words(and music if possible) of a song called either 'Body in the bag' or 'Body of the old tom cat'. I've been looking for it for years.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music-hall songs
From: Mr Happy
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 07:32 AM

Try a lokk here http://monologues.co.uk/

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music-hall songs
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 04 Feb 12 - 08:36 AM

Body In The Bag is in DT under that title. There have also been 4 other threads seeking it.

~M~

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music-hall songs
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jul 12 - 01:55 PM

An uncle of mine used to sing a song which went

Charlie Brown walked down the aisle
Bumpity Bump Bumpity Bump
The bride she walked in with a smile
Bumpity Bump Bumpity Bump
And the bridesmaid Eva Dunn, had a dot and carry one
and the parson strange to tell had a Bumpity Bump as well

The usual thing. I cant get any further. can anyone help with Lyrics and /or history.
Martin. ex cockney.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music-hall songs
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 09:39 AM

I have an mp3 of my garndfther/granny singing that bumpity bumpl, song in 1956 I am happy to send it to you. My email is [e-mail]

I would also like to know its history etc

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music-hall songs
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 27 Sep 12 - 11:32 AM

May or may not be related, but I recall a poem that started with...

'A farmer went trotting upon his grey mare
Bumpety bumpety bump.......

I think there were some 'humpety-humps in there as well.

The broadside song on the Bodleian site 'The Wooden-legg'd Parson' isn't related to the 'Charlie Brown' song above.

Subject: Lyr Add: TAKE ME BACK TO DEAR OLD BLIGHTY
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Jun 13 - 10:46 PM

From the sheet music at the UCLA Archive of Popular American Music - Click for a PDF.


TAKE ME BACK TO DEAR OLD BLIGHTY
Words and music by A. J. Mills, Fred Godfrey & Bennett Scott, ©1916.

1. Jack Dunn, son of a gun, over in France today,
Keeps fit doing his bit up to his eyes in clay.
Each night after a fight to pass the time along,
He's got a little gramophone that plays this song:

CHORUS: Take me back to dear old Blighty.
Put me on the train for London town.
Take me over there; drop me anywhere,
Liverpool, Leeds or Birmingham; well, I don't care!
I should love to see my best girl.
Cuddling up again we soon should be.
Whoa!
Tiddley iddley ighty,
Hurry me home to Blighty,
Blighty is the place for me.

2. Bill Spry started to fly up in an aeroplane,
In France taking a chance wish'd he was down again.
Poor Bill feeling so ill yell'd out to pilot Brown,
"Steady a bit, yer fool! We're turning upside down!"

3. Jock Lee, having his tea, says to his pal MacFayne,
"Look, chum! Apple and plum! It's apple and plum again!
Same stuff! Isn't it rough? Fed up with it I am.
Oh! For a pot of Aunt Eliza's raspb'ry jam!

4. One day Micky O'Shea stood in a trench somewhere,
So brave, having a shave and trying to part his hair.
Mick yells, dodging the shells and lumps of dynamite,
"Talk of the Crystal Palace on a firework night!"


[Famously recorded by Florrie Forde.]

Subject: Lyr Add: BREAD AND MARMALADE (from Sam Mayo)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Mar 14 - 02:23 PM

I listened to a recording by Sam Mayo on Spotify, and I compared it to the version sung by Cosmotheka, which GUEST,Grayd posted back at 20 Apr 02 - 08:06 AM. I have boldfaced the differences:


BREAD AND MARMALADE
Words and music by Will Terry, Frank Wood and Worton David, ©1915.
As recorded by Sam Mayo.

Some years ago when I was mother's baby,
For bread and marmalade I had a craze.
In fact, I got so fond of it that really
I always have some with me nowadays.
Last night I spooned with a girl named Jane Louise,
And as we sat beneath some shady trees,
She sighed and murmured, "Darling, give me something
As a token that your love will never fade—
Just something I can put inside me chest, dear,"
So I gave her me bread and marmalade.

Poor Father he was taken ill one evening.
We knew not what to give him for the best.
We hadn't got a single drop o' brandy,
So I made a mustard plaster for his chest.
I crept up to his bedroom late at night,
And smacked it on his chest with all me might.
When Father jumped from bed and shouted "Murder!"
The temper of a tiger he displayed,
For in mistake on Father's little Mary(?)
I'd stuck me slice of bread and marmalade.

I once was in a smash-up on the railway.
To me it was a bit beyond a joke,
For half an hour there I lay unconscious,
Until I smelt some whisky, then I woke.
I crawled a yard or two along the ground,
But not a sign of anyone I found.
At last I clutched at something in the darkness,
And then a sweet voice cried out from the shade,
"How dare you pinch me leg!" I said, "I'm sorry;
I thought it was me bread and marmalade."

Like every Englishman, I'm patriotic.
I went to see a tattooed girl today.
Upon her form she had the map of Europe
Tattooed in different colours, by the way.
She'd France and Belgium there in green and black,
And good old England tattooed on her back.
I looked at her and shouted, "Rule Britannia!"
And as me Union Jack I had mislaid,
Right on the part where she'd got "German Empire,"
I slapped me slice of bread and marmalade.

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T STOP MY 'ARF A PINT O' BEER (G Elen
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Mar 14 - 06:36 PM

DON'T STOP MY 'ARF A PINT O' BEER
Words by Cornelius Pratt; music by J. Charles Moore; ©1907.
As recorded by Gus Elen

1. Now I'm a chap what's moderate in all I has to drink,
And if it's wrong, well, tell me what is right,
'Cause if you say it's wrong, well, there you're just like Lizzie Ann
When I proposed to her one Sunday night.
It was just after closing time; she'd come to take me home,
And her words they made me think of suicide.
When she said: "If we get spliced, you must not drink beer again,"
I went down on me marrow-bones and cried:

CHORUS: Oh, don't stop me half-a-pint of beer.
It's the only thing that's keeping me alive.
I don't mind your stopping of me coffee and me tea,
But half a pint of beer a day is medicine to me.
I shan't want no other luxury,
Such as champagne and whisky; never fear.
If you want to see me happy and contented all me life,
Don't stop me half-a-pint of beer.

2. Your humble once got in a nasty trouble with the p'lice,
Which brought me notoriety and fame.
A kind and simple gentleman asked me to change a cheque
Which bore a high and mighty big pot's name.
Well, I got the gentleman the cash; your humble got a stretch,
And soon into the prison I was led;
But when the warders told me 'twas a temperance hotel,
I turned round to the governor and said:

CHORUS: Oh, don't stop me half-a-pint of beer.
It's the only thing that's keeping me alive.
I don't mind your stopping of the skilly and the tea,
But half a pint of beer a day is medicine to me.
I shan't want no other luxury,
And I shan't want no wages while I'm here.
I don't mind the five years; I can do it on me head,
But don't stop me half-a-pint of beer.

Subject: Lyr Add: 'E DUNNO WHERE 'E ARE (from Gus Elen)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 09 Mar 14 - 10:33 PM

The Gus Elen recording can be heard on Spotify. A more recent performance by Maurice Peckman can be seen at YouTube


'E DUNNO WHERE 'E ARE
Words by Harry Wright; music by Fred Eplett [ca. 1890]
As recorded by Gus Elen

1. Jack Jones is well known to ev'rybody round about the market, don't yer see?
I've no fault to find wiv Jack at all when 'e's as 'e used ter be,
But some'ow since 'e's 'ad the bullion left 'e's altered for the wust.
When I sees the way 'e treats old pals, I am filled wiv nuffing but disgust.
'E says as 'ow we isn't class enuf; sez we ain't upon a par
Wiv 'im just because 'e's better off; won't smoke a pipe; must take on a cigar.

CHORUS: When 'e's up at Covent Garden you can see 'im standin' all alone.
Won't join in a quiet Tommy Dodd, drinkin' Scotch and Soda on 'is own.
'As the cheek and impidence to call 'is muvver 'is ma.
Since Jack Jones come into a little bit o' splosh, 'e dunno where 'e are.

2. Wears boots as pinches up 'is awk'ard feet, 'ave seen 'im in a collar and a tie.
When I saw 'e'd got a diamond pin, felt as if I'd like to die.
'E drives up in an 'ansom ev'ryday, tho' 'e's big enough to walk.
Speaks as though 'e was a Curnel Norf; nearly makes yer ill ter 'ear 'im talk.
One day I saw 'im wiv a top 'at on; sed 'e'd bought anuvver for 'is pa.
Wears gloves and, no mistake, they're kid, which shows the josser dunno where 'e are!