Lyr Req: British music hall songs

Subject: Lyr Add: I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK (Frank Leo)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Mar 14 - 01:30 AM

I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK
Words and music by Frank Leo.
London : Francis, Day & Hunter, ©1903.
As sung by Alf Gibson on "A Night at the Music Hall, Disc C" (2006)

VERSE 1: Now I'm a man with a decent job.
Me weekly wages are thirty bob.
I tune pianos at three and six a time.
While I was tuning one today, the lady come to me
And said: "Come kiss me, pretty one," and sat upon me knee.
Said I: "Me dear, don't get the spike(?),
But I would kiss you as long as you bloody well like—

CHORUS 1: "But I've got to get back to work, me dear; I've got to get back to work."
There she squatted upon me knee
Till her husband come home to tea.
He rushed up with a carving knife and said with a fearful smirk:
"You've got to die." I said: "Don't you be silly; I've got to get back to work."

VERSE 2: When I got married, or shall I say,
When I got buried—it's more that way—
I got to chapel an hour before the time.
What a long time the parson was when he commenced the job!
I got me gamp and said as I just tapped him on the knob:
"You'll pardon me, I know, old man,
But I would like you to cut it as short as you can—

CHORUS 2: " 'Cause I've got to get back to work, old boy; I've got to get back to work."
When he said, "You are joined for life,"
I turned round and I kissed the wife.
She said: "Where shall we go, me dear?" and give me a saucy smirk.
I said: "You can pop off wherever you like, but I've got to get back to work."

VERSE 3: I went to stay at a country farm.
The life for me has a perfect charm.
Burke—that's the farmer—he's very much cross-eyed.
On the last day, he said to me: "Before you go to town,
I'm going to kill a pig, my boy, and you can hold it down."
I said: "All right; I'll lend a hand,
But I should like you to thoroughly understand—

CHORUS 3: "I've got to get back to work today; I've got to get back to work."
When he picked up the knife, you see,
Each crossed eye looked direct at me.
I said: "Who are you looking at?" "I'm looking at t' pig," said Burke.
I said: "Well, you let somebody else hold it; I've got to get back to work."

Subject: Lyr Add: MY INQUISITIVE KIDDIE (Ben Albert)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Mar 14 - 09:00 PM

You can hear this at YouTube:

INQUISITIVE KIDDIE*
As sung by Ben Albert

My youngest son, he's of a most inquiring turn of mind,
And answers to his questions it all puzzles me to find.
We started in a tram today; with anger I turned red.
The passengers all smiled aloud when my young kiddie said:

"Have you spent that tuppence mother gave you?
Ain't that woman's face like our dog Nell?
Why is it that you're always wearing whiskers,
And mother never does? Please, Daddy, tell.
Is it true that we descend from monkeys?
Now I look at you, it must be so.
But if you are a monkey, where's your tail gone?
Aye, Dad, don't you know?"

We gave a supper party and I let our kid sit up.
He promised that he wouldn't speak a word, the little pup.
But later on, the rascal, he for knowledge seemed to thirst.
In front of all the guests we had, these questions on me burst:

"Will these people here eat all the food up?
Ain't they had no dinner for a week?
Is that the soup that mother fetched from uncle's?
And why does she put red stuff on her cheek?
Where did mother first discover, you, Dad?
Was it in a Barnum-Bailey show?
And how did you become my little daddy?
Aye, Dad, don't you know?"

My daughter Kate's been on the shelf for years, but found a jay,
And so to see her married, we all went to church today.
The youngster started talking; I tried to turn him out.
He got beneath the fam'ly pew and then commenced to shout:

"Is it right that sister's found a josser?
Is it true he'll meet an awful fate?
Does he know that mother's going to live with them,
Just to see that things are going straight?
Does he know that sister's leg's a cork one?
I wonder if she's ever told him so?
D'you think he'll find it out and want this money back?
Aye, Dad, don't you know?"

- - -
* A few libraries have sheet music for a song called MY INQUISITIVE KIDDIE, with words by Alf Ellerton and music by Frank Lynne, ©1904. However, I haven't been able to confirm that it's the same song.

Subject: Lyr Add: TWO LOVELY BLACK EYES (Charles Coborn)
From: Megan L
Date: 15 Mar 14 - 06:19 AM

TWO LOVELY BLACK EYES
Charles Coburn


Strolling so happy down Bethnal Green
This gay youth you might have seen,
Tompkins and I, with his girl between,
Oh! what a surprise!
I prais'd the Conservatives frank and free,
Tompkins got angry so speedilee,
All in a moment he handed to me,
Two lovely black eyes!

Next time, I argued I thought it best,
To give the conservative side a rest.
The merits of Glad-stone I freely pressed, When
Oh! what a surprise!
The chap I had met was a Tory true,
Nothing the Liberals right could do,
This was my share of that argument too,
Two lovely black eyes!

The moral you've caught I can hardly doubt
Never on politics rave and shout,
Leave it to others to fight it out, if
You would be wise
Better, far better, it is to let,
Lib'rals and Tories alone, you bet,
Unless you're willing and anxious to get,
Two lovely black eyes!

CHORUS:
Two lovely black eyes!
Oh! what a surprise!
Only for telling a man he was wrong,
Two lovely black eyes!

......
I believe Coburn adapted it from an older song

Subject: Lyr Add: LET'S ALL GO DOWN THE STRAND
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 15 Mar 14 - 10:39 PM

From the sheet music at the Archive of Popular American Music at UCLA:


LET'S ALL GO DOWN THE STRAND
Words and music by Harry Castling and C. W. Murphy
New York: T. B. Harms, ©1909.

1. One night half a dozen tourists
Met together in Trafalgar Square.
A fortnight's tour on the continent was planned,
And each had his portmanteau in his hand.
Down the Rhine they'd meant to have a picnic,
Till Jones said, "I must decline.
Boys, you be advised by me:
Stay away from Germany.
What's the good of going down the Rhine?

CHORUS: Let's all go down the Strand.
Let's all go down the Strand.
I'll be leader; you can march behind.
Come with me and see what we can find.
Let's all go down the Strand!
Oh! What a happy land!
That's the place for fun and noise
All among the girls and boys,
So let's all go down the Strand!"

2. One day five and twenty convicts
Sat in five and twenty little cells.
The bell then sounded ding-a-ling-a-dong.
To exercise the pris'ners came along.
Burglar Ben exclaimed to Jaggs, the warder:
"To me, sir, it's very strange.
The men are tired of going round,
Round and round the same old ground.
I propose we make a little change." CHORUS

3. Great crowds gathered round to welcome
Shackleton returning from the Pole.
The Lord Mayor welcomed all the gallant crew
And said, "My lads, I've got a treat for you.
Come with me; the Mansion House awaits you.
A banquet shall be supplied."
But a tar, in grumbling mood,
Said, "We don't want any food!"
Then he turned to Shackleton and sighed: CHORUS

4. Bill Brown, when he went to "bye-bye,"
Used to sleep as sound as any bell.
For days he'd lie like a mummy on the bed,
And once his friends all thought that he was dead.
Just for fun he let them have the fun'ral
And he quite enjoyed the ride.
When the coaches got to where
Nelson stands up in the air,
Billy popped his head out, and he cried: CHORUS

Subject: Lyr Add: MOLLY O'MORGAN (THE IRISH-ITALIAN GIRL)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 17 Mar 14 - 02:42 PM

YouTube has old recordings by Florrie Forde, Ella Retford, Harry Fay, and Bert Alvey, plus a recent one by Maurice Peckman, which is easiest to understand. There is more information here, including images of a couple of sheet-music covers.


MOLLY O'MORGAN (THE IRISH-ITALIAN GIRL)
Words and music by Will Letters and Fred Godfrey, 1909.

1. Paddy [or "Patsy" throughout] left Dublin for London town bent.
Weeks passed away but no letter he sent,
So Molly his sweetheart soon thought of a plan.
She went to [or "left for"] London to find her young man,
And there hired an organ and costume so fine,
That in search of Paddy each morning at nine—

CHORUS: Molly O'Morgan, with her little organ
Was dressed up in finest array, [or "colors so gay"]
Out in the streets ev'ry day,
Playing "Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-ay."
Fellows who met her could never forget her.
She set all their hearts in a whirl:
Molly O'Morgan, with her little organ,
The Irish-Italian girl.

2. Soon round each popular west-end hotel,
Molly was doing exceedingly well,
But no sign of her Irish boy could she trace,
Though for a week she had roamed round the place.
When someone said: "Do you speak English, my dear?"
She'd smile and say: "Sure, now! Begorrah! No fear!"

3. One morn as Molly was starting her work,
Whom did she spy but her beau, Paddy Burke!
And as both her Irish arms round him she threw,
Cried out: "You spalpeen! I'm looking for you!"
So no more that organ will Molly take round.
Two Irish hearts homeward to Ireland are bound.

Subject: Lyr Add: BILLY (I ALWAYS DREAM OF BILL) (Beth Tate
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 12:47 AM

From the sheet music, which you can see at the University of Tennessee Knoxville, Mississippi State University, or the Levy collection.


BILLY. (I ALWAYS DREAM OF BILL.)
Words by Joe Goodwin. Music by [James] Kendis & [Herman] Paley.
New York: Kendis & Paley, ©1911.

1. Behold in me a maiden who is feeling sad,
Yearning for a wedding day.
It's just because I love a man I feel so bad,
Now that he has gone away.
Though I have his picture near,
It can't love and call me dear,
So I confess I'm hungry for some real live love.
How I wish that Bill were here!

CHORUS: For when I walk, I always walk with Billy,
'Cause Billy knows just where to walk;
And when I talk, I always talk with Billy,
'Cause Billy knows just how to talk;
And when I dine, I always dine with Billy.
He takes me where I get my fill;
And when I sleep, and when I sleep,
I always dream of Bill.

2. It seems somehow each man I meet makes eyes at me,
But it only makes me blue;
And though each day a lot of handsome chaps I see,
To my sweetheart I'll be true.
I have kissed his picture till
It no longer looks like Bill.
If he knew what was waiting for him, he'd come home,
Then my heart with joy he'd fill.

- - -
Beth Tate, "The Californian Girl" who performed in the British and Australian music halls, recorded this; her recording appears on "A Night at the Music Hall (Disc C)" (JSP Records, 2006). You can also hear it on Spotify. Her recording consists of only the first verse and chorus, which is repeated. However, on the second chorus, she varies the last 2 lines, and I am unable to understand the last few words.

Obviously, the humor and cleverness of this song rests on the fact that it tantalizes you with the expectation that she will sing "I always sleep with Bill" but in fact, the chorus ends far more innocently. I can't believe that Tate would have spoiled the joke, so I assume her ending is also innocent, but I can't manage to figure out how she did this. She sings: "And when I sleep, I always sleep / With Billy ..." but what comes next? There are 3 syllables. Any help would be appreciated.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: GUEST,chas
Date: 31 May 14 - 07:40 AM

Would be interested in obtaining lyrics for 'wont yer buy some beer ' by nat travers..I have a recording but its not quite clear enough to work out all the lyrics....thanks

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: Megan L
Date: 31 May 14 - 11:07 AM

sorry chas my usual favourite go to Musichall songs let me down on this one. will keep looking

Subject: Lyr Add: WON'T YER BUY SOME BEER? (Nat Travers)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 14 - 10:10 AM

I listened to this on Spotify, and transcribed it as best I can, but I left a couple of gaps:


WON'T YER BUY SOME BEER?
Words and music by Harry Rogers, James Palmer and Nat Travers, 1917.
As recorded by Nat Travers on "Cockney Kings of Music Hall"

1. To say this song's not silly talk would be to tell a lie.
It's all about a pal of mine whose throat is always dry.
He mops up all the unclaimed beer as he stands in the bar,
And he's not at all particular if he spots some near(?) and far.
It ought to be a lesson straight to ev'rybody here.
He's conned out something shocking 'cause 'e's always on your ear,

CHORUS: With his "Will yer, won't yer, won't yer, will yer, won't yer buy some beer?
Only just a 'alf a pint;* I've got a pint just here."
And ev'rybody that he meets, he whispers down their ear:
"Will yer, won't yer, won't yer, will yer, won't yer buy some beer?"

2. One day when Bill was stony broke, the clergyman he met,
Who said, "Man, why not mend your ways? The beer try to forget.
Come round tonight and take the pledge. ... said, "... that's me."
And to make a change for the good, quite anxious seemed to be.
His face grew sad and solemn as a tear fell on his sleeve.
He took the parson by the coat, and as he went to leave,

CHORUS: He said: "Will yer,—" [etc.]

- - -

* On second chorus, substitute: "gallon and 'alf."

Note: the title on the recording is WON'T YER BUY SOME BEER? but the title on the sheet music, according to the British Library, is WON'T YOU BUY SOME BEER?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: GUEST,Ghost
Date: 02 Jun 14 - 06:28 PM

Inspired perhaps by the lobster quadrille dance song in Alice in Wonderland?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jun 14 - 11:18 AM

Had a feeling Jim would get there before me!

Excellent job, Jim.

I think the second line of the chorus is:

Only just a 'alf a pint;* I've got a *pain* just here

(Presumably he wants the beer to relieve his agony!)

Third line of second verse I make:

Come round tonight and take the pledge, Bill answered, "Yus, that's me."

I'm not sure at all about the third line of the first verse, but it sounds to me like this:

And he's not at all particular if he spots some *you embar*.

I looked up embar and it means to imprison as in put behind bars. Doesn't make a lot of sense!

LFF

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 05 Jun 14 - 08:02 AM

That was me on 3rd June sans cookie.

I think the last line of the first verse should be:

*His conduct's* something shocking 'cause 'e's always on your ear,

I think the third line of the first verse does indeed end *you embar*. Embar can also mean to deny someone something, so I guess BIll's not easily put off!

Begging Jim's leave, the lyrics now look like this:

WON'T YER BUY SOME BEER?
Words and music by Harry Rogers, James Palmer and Nat Travers, 1917.
As recorded by Nat Travers on "Cockney Kings of Music Hall"

1. To say this song's not silly talk would be to tell a lie.
It's all about a pal of mine whose throat is always dry.
He mops up all the unclaimed beer as he stands in the bar,
And he's not at all particular if he spots some you embar.
It ought to be a lesson straight to ev'rybody here.
'Is conduct's something shocking 'cause 'e's always on your ear,

CHORUS: With his "Will yer, won't yer, won't yer, will yer, won't yer buy some beer?
Only just a 'alf a pint;* I've got a pain just here."
And ev'rybody that he meets, he whispers down their ear:
"Will yer, won't yer, won't yer, will yer, won't yer buy some beer?"

2. One day when Bill was stony broke, the clergyman he met,
Who said, "Man, why not mend your ways? The beer try to forget.
Come round tonight and take the pledge, Bill answered, "Yus, that's me."
And to make a change for the good, quite anxious seemed to be.
His face grew sad and solemn as a tear fell on his sleeve.
He took the parson by the coat, and as he went to leave,

CHORUS: He said: "Will yer,—" [etc.]

- - -

* On second chorus, first time around, substitute "gallon and 'alf." Second time around, back to 'alf a pint.

LFF

Subject: Lyr Add: THEY ALL WALK THE WIBBLY WOBBLY WALK
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Sep 16 - 08:36 PM

I found this recording at The Internet Archive:


THEY ALL WALK THE WIBBLY WOBBLY WALK
Words and music by Paul Pelham and J. P. Long.
As recorded by Fred Elliot, 1913.

1. Have you ever heard about the wibbly wobbly walk?
Well, just in case you've not,
I'll tell you on the spot:
The wibbly wobbly walk is only just another way
Of saying that the boys are off upon their holiday.
Notice half a dozen fellows out upon a spree.
In half a dozen minutes they are full of jollity.

CHORUS: And they all walk the wibbly wobbly walk,
All talk the wibbly wobbly talk,
All wear wibbly wobbly ties,
And wink at all the pretty girls with wibbly wobbly eyes.
Oh, they all smile the wibbly wobbly smile
When the day is dawning,
And all through the wibbly wobbly walk,
They get a wibbly wobbly feeling in the morning.

2. At a seaside health resort you'll see some gay old dogs
Who once were fond of sport,
And knew the taste of port.
Their feet are tied in bundles and you know without a doubt
Their virtues are rewarded with a bad attack of gout.
The band is playing on the pier but they don't care a jot.
They know it's quite impossible to do the turkey trot. CHORUS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: GUEST,Lester
Date: 04 Apr 19 - 04:03 AM

Isn't it
A little bit of cu-cum
I come, you come,
A little bit of cu-cum-ber...? I heard it done that way on the BBC Light Programme by Billy Cotton & his band (or some other of that ilk); in those days it wouldn't have been thought of as "unsuitable" because of the sheltered lives led by The Powers That Were on the wireless. But it wouldn't be our 'Arry if it didn't sound smutty, would it?

Steve

I only for the final chorus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: Joe_F
Date: 04 Apr 19 - 03:11 PM

Lester: My impression was that (at least over most of the song's life) the Powers forbade performers to sing "I come, you come" but were Powerless to prevent audiences from doing so.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Sep 25 - 11:52 AM

Bumpity bump bumpity bump the one legged family

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: GUEST,keberoxu
Date: 05 Oct 25 - 09:00 AM

The question was raised early in this thread, where one could hear English Music Hall songs being performed.

Sadly, its days were numbered, but
Santa Fe, New Mexico had some music hall enthusiasts in the 1980's and 1990's.

Their show was called West End Christmas, given annually.
They included many music hall tunes, some performed in costume.
They took "Teddy Bears' Picnic" and
altered it slightly to become "Teddy Bears' Christmas."

The show kept going until the performers started dying off,
as they were all people of a certain age...
in particular, the pianist, who had most of th music, died in 2008.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: British music hall songs
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Oct 25 - 09:11 AM

The show, described in the previous post, always opened with:

Let's all go to the music hall
Where the show is gay and bright
Let's all go to the music hall
Where the stars are twinkling twice a night

Whether you sit in the gallery, the circle, or the pit
Or whether you sit in a red plush stall
When the busy day is done, and you want to have some fun,
Let's all go to the music hall


Those were the days ...

Subject: Lyr Add: ASK A POLICEMAN
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Nov 25 - 03:52 PM

ASK A P’LICEMAN
Words by E. W. Rogers, music by A. E. Durandeau, 1888. Famously performed by James Fawn.

1. The p’lice force is a noble band that safely guard our streets.
Their valour is unquestioned and they’re noted for their feats.
If anything you wish to know, they’ll tell you with a grin.
In fact, each one of them is a complete Enquire Within.

CHORUS 1: If you want to know the time, ask a p’liceman—
The proper Greenwich time, ask a p’liceman.
Ev’ry member of the force has a watch and chain, of course.
If you want to know the time, ask a p’liceman.

2. If you stay out late at night and pass through regions queer,
Thanks to those noble guardians, of foes you have no fear.
If drink you want and ‘pubs’ are shut go to the man in blue,
Say you’re thirsty and good-natured, and he’ll show you what to do.

CHORUS 2: If you want to get a drink, ask a p’liceman.
He’ll manage it, I think, will a p’liceman.
He’ll produce the flowing pot, if the ‘pubs’ are shut or not.
He could open all the lot; ask a p’liceman.

3. If your servant suddenly should leave her cosy place,
Don’t get out an advertisement her whereabouts to trace.
You’re told it was a soldier who removed her box of clothes.
Don’t take the information in, but ask the man who knows.

CHORUS 3: If you don’t know where she is, ask a p’liceman.
For he’s ‘in the know’ he is; ask a p’liceman.
Though they say with ‘red’ she flew, yet it’s ten to one on ‘blue’
For he mashes just a few; ask a p’liceman.

4. And if you’re getting very stout, your friends say in a trice,
Consult a good physician, and he’ll give you this advice:
Go in for running all you can, no matter when or how,
And if you want a trainer, watch a bobby in a row.

CHORUS 4: If you want to learn to run, ask a p’liceman—
How to fly, though twenty ‘stun’, ask a p’liceman.
Watch a bobby in a fight; in a tick, he’s out of sight.
For advice on rapid flight, ask a p’liceman.

5. Or if you’re called away from home, and leave your wife behind,
You say, ‘Oh, would that I a friend to guard the house could find,
And keep my love in safety’ but let your troubles cease.
You’ll find the longed-for keeper in a member of the p’lice.

CHORUS 5: If your wife should want a friend, ask a p’liceman
Who a watchful eye will lend; ask a p’liceman.
Truth and honour you can trace written on his manly face.
When you’re gone, he’ll mind your place; ask a p’liceman.

- - -
The original sheet music cover can be seen at Wikipedia, which also gives some interpretation of the lyrics.

Reformatted sheet music, as a PDF, originally provided by Monologues.co.uk, can be seen at the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine.

This is a recent recording at YouTube of someone singing the first verse and chorus:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AyO46UesLw

This recording from 1901 makes it the second song in a medley:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLhwRXkn8uo&t=81s

This fellow, Mike Hatchard, has updated the lyrics:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXQkp73NW_Q

This guy seems to be trying to teach you to sing it:
https://www.youtube.com/live/3djatz_enEU?t=1570s

The following article is from an Australian newspaper: Northern Mining Register (Charters Towers, Qld.), Wednesday 18 March 1891, page 14:

"Ask a P'liceman."

IT is satisfactory to know that by two magisterial decisions yesterday the melody "Ask a P'liceman" is now entitled to be placed on the Index Expurgatorius of Scotland Yard.

At Worship-street Mr. Montague Williams condescended to enter into a minute inquiry as to whether the whistling of this melody by a small boy constituted a sufficient provocation to a breach of the peace on the part of a constable. In the result he came sorrowfully to the conclusion that "there was no doubt the boy was impertinently whistling the air referred to." He did not subsequently put on the black cap, but the tone of solemnity in which he announced his decision seemed to require some formality of that nature. By that decision a carman charged with assault by the police was sent to hard labour for fourteen days. The unfortunate man pleaded that he had done nothing worse than remonstrate with a constable who had attempted to stop the boy's melody with a vulgar threat. Mr. Williams took up the ludicrous position that it was part of his business to inquire whether the boy had or had not whistled the air.

Mr. Cooke at Marylebone, was just as bad, or worse. He fined a man forty shillings on a charge of disorderly behaviour in which the head and front of the offence was the singing of this harmless song.

The police have apparently made up their minds that the song shall not be sung in the streets, and when they hear it they contrive to expostulate with the melodists with a violence which provokes a breach of the peace. This is very foolish on the part of the police, but they are what they are in temper and intelligence, and it is for the magistrates to compel them to control their nerves. They must learn to bear the sarcasm involved in this lyric, as they and better men in all classes and callings have learned to endure their professional nicknames. Admitting the very worst—that the melody is whistled or sung at them—what possible right has a magistrate to allow that consideration to effect a judgment by which he consigns a man to jail?